Row, row, row your boat, do we have a stream?

I don't know. The club ain't providing a screening, which is a pity, but understandable considering the cost. Live updates may be available on Kallang Roar or on the S-League website. If I find a stream, I'm posting details here. The game is on tonight at 9:30pm Eastern Standard Time (the best kind of time). Apparently no Keenan or Fernando, which means we're screwed. Oh well. In the meantime, enjoy this piece on the S-League website focusing on, and seemingly replete with information taken from my various postings on here and other places - which I don't mind, informing the public is what I'm here for.

'Insert Airline Sponsor Here' Socceroos 2 New Zealand All Whites 1

Last week, during my Monday evening class out at Footscray Park - Key Debates in the Humanities if you must know - my teacher Julie Stephens said that she'd be absent the following week. Involuntarily my arms shot up in a gesture of thanks and triumph, making everyone turn around, 'til I explained that now I could go to the sockah. One guy said, 'oh yeah', and really, it was more support than I thought I'd get.

So during the week I started trying to round up a posse to go with me. Already bought tickets. Cleaning my apartment because the landlord is coming around. I'm finishing work late. I'm going to be flying to Singapore. Bah, humbug. So I trundled down to my local Ticketek outlet, located conveniently about a couple of kilometres away (fark you inconvenient Ticketmaster), and bought me a ticket for the match (and also one for The Eels in August, yes I suck for giving Mark Oliver Everett more of my monies but that's my problem not yours, so fob off).


Krowd Watch 
The last Socceroos game I went to see was the Oman Asian Cup Qualifier last year. The last MCG Socceroos game I saw at the MCG was the Japan World Cup Qualifier also in 2009, where I breached some serious journalistic ethics by performing various sorts of character assassination on unsuspecting members of the New Dawn. I was high up in the Great Southern Stand for the latter game, only a few rows back from the edge though (about on the 50 metre line if memory serves correctly). This time I got a spot on the lower deck of the Ponsford, behind the goals, a few rows in undercover. Right next to the bay with all the Kiwis.

The crowd looked lousy, but built up steadily, and I thought 55,000 was fine for choosing a meh opponent on a terrible night - I mean, Monday night, seriously? But here's what gets up my goat. I thought people paid to watch the game - and yet there were an abundance of people going back and forth getting more food and drinks. Dudes (and dudettes), this is why we have before the game and halftime. What else pissed me off, let's see... the almost utter lack of cynicism amongst my fellow Australians towards our performance. Lousy, desperate, last ditch defending was being cheered, as were basic tackles sending the ball out of play. The most annoying thing (about the crowd, anyway) was the the Asian woman in front of me who got excited very, very easily, and kept standing up, hear head getting squarely in front of mine and several others view of the goals. Now I have no problem standing up at a football match - I mean, I attend the VPL and State League 2 on a weekly for crying out loud - but little lady, there is standing room behind the seats you can use if you like.


Hellas Watch
Several past Socceroo players retrospectively received national caps from the Federation/Mark Schwarzer, which in theory, is a nice gesture - but here's the thing. The vast majority of the crowd would have no idea who Kris Trajanovski, Tommy Cumming, Jason Polak and whoever the other guy was that they mentioned first because I didn't catch his name, were. The guy reading out the names mentioned their Socceroo appearances, but the only player to have a club mentioned was Sarkies (Melbourne Victory). One feels, perhaps, that he didn't know, and that really, the vast majority of the crowd didn't want to know, because that would trigger New Dawn guilt and questioning. Oh well, I clapped Jason Polak, even it wasn't the cool thing to do for some people.

Kiwi Fan Watch 
They all had their little flags and such, and they made a fair bit of racket - not that I expected to hear much from the Green and Gold Army, but their performance last night seemed diabolical. Flares? How childish. No, that's not fair. More like, isn't that what the dirty wogs do? Anyway, back to the Kiwis. There was one bloke who kept yelling out 'It's so cheesy'. I struggled to figure out what he meant by that, but when he said, 'Yellow is the colour of cheese', it all made sense. But here's what the dingbat didn't realise - white is also the colour of cheese. Must be really white bread not to know that.

The Game Itself
Deeply troubling. Especially for the fact that BRETT HOLMAN scored the winning goal, and made me instantly think of The World Game Forum, which means I am one sad little geek. How Vince Grella stayed on the field after that heinous two footed studs up jump tackle who knows. Maybe the ref was sourced from the VPL.

The Best Thing About Going To This Game
Not wasting my limited bandwidth on streaming the game and listening to the inane political correctness gone overboard of the FoxSports commentary team.

Last thought(s)
Now I know everything's for sale, and that I should just get over it, but the amount of product being pushed was just phenomenal. Especially the underpants. And if you're going to check my bag for knives, bottles and explosives, you should actually check it properly instead of seeing a black plastic bag in there and going, yep, that's fine.

Transfer season is upon us, again

So far, the ins include striker Hamid Basma from Heidelberg - who scored the goal against us in that fixture - and who comes with wraps that he is 'technically very good and can hold the ball up well', but how many times have we heard that before?  Also a little more controversially, if you believe the rantings of certain George Cross fans, Britisher Kyle Joryeff, another winger/forward - who was on an amateur contract there. The controversial part is that there have been allegations, which have yet to substantiated as far as I know, that Joryeff was paid off by us to not play in the recent game between South and the Georgies. Anyway, there has also been one person on the goodbye list, winger Yusef Yusef. While a part of me is disappointed with losing him, another increasingly dominant part thinks he wasa better player a few years ago, and quite possibly the difference between Heidelberg winning and losing the 2005 grand final (he came off injured early in the game, and the Bergers had little idea how to crack the packed Gully defense). It took him ages to get over his serious injury, and fair to say he was never able to impose himself on a game. How often is it that your final touch for a club before transferred mid-season is a goal, I don't know, but the overall picture here I fancy was clear enough to see past any sentimentality - though that, too, has its place in the game.

Jakarta Casual previews Gombak vs South Melbourne

I was going to commission a reciprocal 'tell us a bit about so and so piece' with PoHui Ko from the Bolasepako blog, but then I found that Jakarta Casual had done one with the requisite acknowledgements of the many ironies of the situation. It's a good read, from a good blog. Don't forget the game is on this Wednesday. Buggered if I know of a stream to watch it on though.


Memory Lane for Dazza against Hellas
Yeah, I know they're called South Melbourne now, the Hellas has been dropped in the name of progress, political correctness and in a bid to appeal to a broader audience. Which is crap. I knew plenty of people who had Hellas as their second team and they weren't all called Postecogelouopolus.

Time moves on if I haven't and South Melbourne, who I last saw play Wollongong Macedonia at Middle Park in 1991, they won 7-3, will next week be visiting Singapore to compete in the Singapore Cup.

It's probably fair to say the Aussies are the biggest ever team to grace the competition.

In one of those delicious twists of fate that make cup football so exciting they have been drawn against Gombak United. A side with an Aussie connection of their own.

They are coached by Darren Stewart, an NSL legend formerly of APIA Leichhardt while defensive midfielder Goran Subara has been earning rave reviews.

The Bulls have struggled so far this season to find any kind of consistency. No surprise when you are told you cannot use two of your best players and couple of games into the season. Kingsley Njokou and Gabriel Obatola had their permits terminated and had to find clubs anew leaving Stewart with only one striker, the injured Agu Casmir. After desperately trying to get Abbas Saad and Scott Ollerenshaw to come out of retirement he was left to sign players nobody else wanted.

In those circumstances 4th spot is a bloody good achievement though their goals for tally tells its own story. As does losing 1-0 at home to Balestier Khalsa, who would finish in the bottom half of a one team league, they went and drew 3-3 with runaway leaders Tampines Rovers

Gombak United FC 14 6 3 5 15 11 4 21

They are though defensively strong. The imposing Mamadou Bah is partnered by the highly thought of Obadin Aikhena, widely thought of as a future international. Obadin has impressed over the last few years with a series of classy performances for both Gombak United and the Young Lions but not just that. Everyone i speak with cannot say enough of his attitude off the field as well.

Up front Gombak will look to the timeless, ageless, Agu Casmir for goals and inspiration while this type of fixture against a truly big name would be a wonderful opportunity for Fazrul Nawaz to show what he is truly capable of.

For their part while South Melbourne have yet to set their league alight they are proving a tough nut to crack. They sit 7th in the 12 team Victoria State League but have suffered just two defeats all season.
7 South Melbourne 11 5 4 2 21 13 8 13

Like Gombak they have struggled to find any consistency. They beat Hume City (wow, a team named after a road?!) 6-0 then lost their next two games. Last time out they defeated Sunshine George Cross 3-1 which confuses the living bejeez out of me. I thought they had ditched all names that carried ethnic inference?

Anyway it promises to be a great evening in Singapore and South Melbourne can look forward to being blown away by the local's support for their heroes.

"cos remember this. Singapore was recently named the second best sports city in the world. 2nd after...Melbourne!

Highlights and interviews from the Georgies game

Some tidy goals, lousy marking, and interviews with Gasparis, Keenan, Yusef and Horsey. Just in case you missed the game or forgot to record the smfctv 31 show.

Kiss of Death, round 12, 2010

No South this weekend, as our game against the Magic has been postponed due to either ground unavailability and/or to accommodate our Singapore trip next week. No rest for the wicked though, as the Kiss of Death looks at the rest of the round's matches, and also our match against Gombak United.

Bentleigh Greens vs Oakleigh Cannons
I don’t think much of Bentleigh, and can’t stand Oakleigh. On form, you need to put your money on Oakleigh. They have been scoring at will and shouldn’t have a problem sweeping aside a pretty poor Bentleigh. Bentleigh 1 – Oakleigh 4.


Hume City vs Green Gully Cavaliers
Hume to trounce the worst Gully side in the last ten years. What is going on down there? Coach after coach, still can’t find the right combos across the park. It’s the end. Hume 3 – Gully 0

Heidelberg United vs Sunshine Georgies
The teams everybody loves to hate. The Bergers because they are just the Bergers, and George Cross because of their fans. Saying that though, the Georgies have some of the most passionate fans of the VPL. Bergers beat Dandy last week in an arsey game 3-2 in the 90th, thanks to Ederaro. This week though Fidel will have a field day for Sunshine. Heidelberg Utd 1 – SGX 6

Melbourne Knights vs Dandenong Thunder
Melbourne Knights 2 – Dandy Funder 1
That’s all I'm saying about this one.

South Melbourne vs Gombak Utd – Midweek RHB Cup Fixture in Singapore
I do not rate Singaporean football. I have seen countless youtube clips and if Alex Duric can be the national competition's leading scorer, and highest goalscorer in the history of Singapore, then that tells me a lot. I don’t see why South can’t go to the Jalan Besar stadium and run amok. Artificial surface, along with 30+ degrees kick off time, and a pretty fit lineup, then there should be no problem. Gombak ain't necessarily the shit. South Melbourne 4 – Gombak Utd 1

Our London sojourn rated a brief mention in The Age

You may remember the award for Oceanie Team Of The Century awarded by the IFFHS - whose dinner was postponed until May this year? Well, that was last week. Many famous faces were there, and by all reports a good time was had by the South contingent - especially Jimmy Armstrong. Anyway, only rraqson I didn't post anything was because, well, I'm waiting for the video footage to be released by SMFCTV. But in the meantime, here's a curious piece of commentary written yesterday by Mark Hawthorne in The Age's Sporting Life section.


Hellas of a decision

THE Football Federation of History and Statistics has named the ''club of the century'' for each confederation. Real Madrid gets the award for Europe. CA Penarol Montevideo in South America. Al-Hilal FC Riyadh in Asia.

And in Oceana? Try South Melbourne, a club that struts its stuff in Melbourne's suburbs. Hellas gets the gong because of its history of success in the old National Soccer League, but it's a glaring symbol of the problems in Australian soccer.


Is that some kind of backhanded compliment against us? Well done on the trophies, but thanks for holding the game back? Or is it more a case of, these guys are pretty successful, and the current Australian soccer regime should treat them with a bit more respect, like, what are they doing playing in a suburban comp? I hope it's the latter, but I can't tell.

It's true - South to appeal the appeal

Appeal result from Heidelberg game finally handed down

And it appears that we probably should have taken what we got initially on the chin and shut up, because while we've got our point back for the draw - and Carl Recchia gets a South goal - we've now been deducted six points instead. Which is a fair result the way I see it. Some of the persons banned for life have had those bans reduced significantly, which I suppose is fair enough. But hopefully, finally, this is the end of all this kind of behaviour, and more importantly the incessant justifications of the so called 'exuberance', both from those who are responsible for it, and those who condone it. That the FFV didn't condone the St Albans and Frankston Pines brawl last year, and that we do not have any sort of special immunity when we stuff up, shows that finally, maybe this sport is getting serious about not condoning what isn't condoned in other sports. That the playing arena, and the fence around it, hold a meaningful place in the football environment. That there is a reason why everyone who is not absolutely essential to the performance of a match are asked to be outside this barrier.

Why the security guards weren't in front of Clarendon Corner, as they usually are, and whether that is the club's fault, I do not know. It matters little now I think, because it doesn't excuse what happened. So, there's goes fourth spot at the halfway mark of the season. There goes a great opportunity for the double chance, instead being brought back into the mire with a tough battle just to get a finals position. So, are we all happy now? I, too, would have much rather stuck the boot into the FFV, because it is so easy to do (fun as well). But not this time.

For the full details of the tribunal appeal hearing itself, head to this link.

21s extend lead at top - Women alone on bottom of table

In addition to the mildly reassuring win the seniors had on Sunday, I also managed to see a about an hour's worth of the under 21's stunning 8-1 win over Sunshine. Sunshine were playing with 10 men for a whole swathe of the 2nd half, and I'm not sure if that was due to an early first half sending off or some other reason, but it was pretty entertaining stuff all the same, both sides going at it full tilt until the Georgies just ran out of legs.
The women on the other hand lost once more, this time in the battle of the cellar dwellers against recently promoted Altona City. Losing 1-0, the women are now anchored at the bottom of the WVPL table. The reserves are having a better time of it though, winning, 2-0. But at this rate it seems like only a matter of time before the women return to state league 1, the disappointment of which would only be amplified after last year's excellent campaign.

More midfield goals - South 3 Georgies 1

Our striking department goes barren for another week, but our midfielders chip in to keep things respectable. Gasparis, Keenan and Yusef with the last kick of the match, leaving a positive mark on a game in which he otherwise struggled. Yet another non-cleansheet, and a few hairy moments at 2-1, and Zois toying far too much with the opposition, but what can you do? De Nittis' first half miss was a shocker - the ball played across by Rhodri Payne, and with an open goal at his mercy, thumped it over to the synthetic pitches across the the way. Oh well. A couple of weeks break now due to ground unavailability and the postponement of another due to the Singapore trip. Not a bad way to end the first half the season.

Did you hear about Ol' Itchy Arm?

Assistant coach David Lugli that is. Well, former assistant coach David Lugli. Somehow he's been pinned for the our stuttering last few weeks, or the defensive mistakes, or something, by someone out there. And he's been sacked. I don't know by who. And it all seemed to be a match made in heaven. Now I have to wait for the stupid AGM to ask the damn question, to get an evasive answer.

Heads up for this week's game

This week our home match against the Georgies is at Northcote City's home ground, John Cain Memorial Park, out in Thornbury. Kick off at 3pm.

You may have also noticed that I've added a couple of new pages to the top of the site. One is a public transport guide to the VPL, which I fancy no one will use, but I think is a nice addition anyway. The other is a fixture/results list. Together, they should make the VPL experience a little easier for some people out there.

KIss of Death, Round 11, 2010

Across this great brown land, tipsters are scratching their heads at the inconsistency of the VPL. Can the Kiss of Death shed any light on matters?


Once again apologies for the inconsistency in tipping this shemozzle of a competition.


Richmond vs Bentleigh Greens
Well, well, well. Rumour from Kingston Heath is that this will be Loza’s last game. After the 1-5 thumping he copped last week, the pressure is on. Richmond had a good away win at Altona Magic last weekend, and will be looking to make it three wins in a row. But unfortunately for them Gavalas will be having a good night for Bentleigh. Richmond 1 – Bentleigh Greens 1.

Altona Magic vs Oakleigh Cannons 
Altona Magic is now being steered out of the wilderness by Saso Becvinoski. Will this change their season? Yeah, most likely, if he drops Tommi Tomich! Altona 2 – Oakleigh 1.

Hume City vs Northcote City
Northcote goes down to windy Hume on the weekend looking to make it three straight wins for the newly promoted club. Hume is looking to give its fans something to make them happy. They thumped Bentleigh away 1-5 last Friday night, but once again this week, they will be on the receiving end of an in form Northcote. Who would’ve thought that Northcote would be doing somewhat well? Hume 0 – Northcote 2.

South Melbourne vs Sunshine George Cross 
South's last game before they travel to Singapore to participate in the RHB Singapore Cup against Gombak United. The pressure is on South to beat George Cross. South is coming off two losses, while Ssunshine have one win and a draw. The win being at high flying Oakleigh. South must win and win well. If they struggle against Sunshine George Cross, then pray to the Gods they survive Singapore. South Melbourne 3 – SGX 0.

Melbourne Knights vs Green Gully Cavaliers
Western Suburbs derby. The Knights too good in the battle of the cellar dwellers. Both teams are struggling but the Knights are playing attractive free-flowing football. Gully is not the Gully of old. Melbourne Knights 2 – Green Gully 0.

Heidelberg United vs Dandenong Thunder
Guess who I’m tipping this week? The boys from Funder to keep the scoreboard attendant busy. Heidelberg 0 – Dandy Funder 12.

Book Review - Adrian Deans' Mr Cleansheets.

Some more conscientious readers may have seen this review already in last week's edition of Goal Weekly. Now that my own self-imposed embargo on posting the review is over, I feel quite comfortable in letting you view it here for posterity - and after all, Goal Weekly by taking the initiative of promoting Australian literary works, should get the benefit of having people pay for the privilege of reading it in the initial phase. How's that for setting myself up as the main attraction? I'm not using their title though, because I thought it was a bit silly. And why did they de-italicise the name of the book? Quite confused about that. You can download the first chapter from here. The book's 500+ pages, but it really doesn't take that long to read.

Sometimes dreams can come true... Adrian Deans' Mr Cleansheets

During the past two decades, mainstream Australian soccer writing – and for that matter, most other Australian sports writing - seems to have almost inevitably returned to the twin pillars of the shortsighted rants of your so called 'professional' analysts, and the ghostwritten autobiographies of local and overseas veterans. The recent emergence of the blogosphere has taken the wind out of the professional's sails to an extent, by showing that simplistic and alarming analysis can also be done for free; but where is the counterpoint to the reliance on biography, the works that show an imaginative and creative response to our soccer lives, and which is not directed solely at children?

Adrian Deans' new novel, Mr Cleansheets, may very well herald the arrival – or at least the return, for those with very wide reading and memory – of the Australian soccer novel to our literary consciousness. The novel's protagonist, Eric Judd, the titular Mr Cleansheetsis on the verge of turning 40, a labourer during the working week and amateur goalkeeping legend on weekends. After winning the title for his basement New South Wales side, his coach forcibly retires him. So Eric makes the foolhardy decision to head off to England to fulfill the dying wish of his Uncle Jimmy – to take up the outstanding offer of trialing for Manchester United – made when Eric was still a teenager.

Things don't get off to a good start; he gets into a fight at the airport, gets no further than the merchandise store at Old Trafford, and finds himself more or less where he started, albeit on the other side of the world – working as a removalist and illegally playing non-league football for the hopeless Bentham United. But his luck does start to change. He lands himself a new girl. The team starts winning. And in his own mind, he's starting to live the dream. But things can never be that straightforward. The past and the future catch up to Eric in all manner of alarming and hilarious ways.

Deans has a breezy and natural flair for this kind of writing, which allows the reader to get swept up in the amazing coincidences which the story throws up. His descriptions of the match action itself, while perhaps a little neat, nevertheless ring true; it's a difficult art to tell the story of a game that does not exist, one with a predetermined result. His strongest work though, comes in his descriptions of violence, especially those of hand to hand combat. The aforementioned breezy manner gets pushed aside for visceral and sensory writing that is at odds with most of the rest of the novel.

There are a multitude of accents in the novel – Irish, Cockney, French, Toff, Portuguese, Tcherman - which for the most part Deans handles well enough, but they are there more for comic effect rather than any sort of meaningful cultural exploration. Mr Cleansheets himself, being an Aussie, has no dialect issues whatsoever – his neutral tone assumed to be natural. Irvine Welsh this ain't, and at times the accents blend into each other, so that characters, especially some of the more minor ones – and there are many of them - can seem interchangeable.

Some readers, though crucially, not what I imagine is the intended audience, might blanch at Deans' explorations of masculinity – a very old school, protective form of it, with a few edges shaved off. In its own way, Mr Cleansheets is a love letter to masculinity – and the bastions of that masculinity that women can't ever enter or understand. In this case it centres on sporting clubs and the drinking and mateship culture – and Deans combines it with the classic 'you'll only go in for your mates' line, the sacrifices and camaraderie that can only be forged in battle, even if the war is fought on an enclosed patch of grass.

Deans also has some interesting, and potentially polarising things to say about the place of soccer in Australia, even though so little of the novel takes place there. Soccer in Australia is almost irrevocably a game outside the mainstream – and it will likely never win its place authentically inside the nation's sporting consciousness. Real soccer is in England or in Europe, where it is the main game, where it is in the blood of the people so to speak. For those in Australia for whom Australian soccer has always been the main game, and has (or had) its own mainstream that it has looked after for generations, this will perhaps place the novel as a work directed towards those fans more recently arrived at the game. The extraordinarily vicious portrayal of the rugby journo in particular is a classic example of the convert's attempt to prove their belief in the cause.

Being a certified intentional page turner, Deans' attempt to write a novel on football, but also on such other weighty and complex matters such as love, international pop stardom, the criminal underworld and Aryan conspiracy theories, could have turned into a right mess; yet he's actually managed to write something coherent and remarkably enjoyable. Mr Cleansheets is no literary masterpiece, but it is a lot of fun. By taking the notion of a midlife crisis to its logical conclusion, Deans has provided a novel for every person who has ever sat and wondered in the quiet of the night, what might have been had they taken the opportunities presented to them, instead of doing the sensible and responsible thing.

South releases Singapore travel packages

I ain't going, which is a pity, but if you're still interested the club has finally released its travel packages.

More convenient for me I suppose, maybe

In checking out the women's team results (their round 5 match was rescheduled for the Queen's Birthday long weekend), it seems they're now playing out Doxa Yarraville's McIvor Reserve, and not from Albert Park Field 13 as has been the case for several years now. The field will be of a more a regulation size, and there isn't the massive walk to the changerooms. But still, it's a fair way from 'home'. One would hope that it's due to some sort of redevelopment related ground unavailability, as opposed to they've pissed off someone they probably shouldn't have ground unavailability, a phenomenon we understand has been more than creeping in lately with regards to the women's team. If that makes sense, Wait, let's try this again. There's seems to be lots of internal ructions, and no end in sight. Not good.

Cornered - South 1 Oakleigh 2

Another corner, another set piece, another blow, or in this case, two. We started off well enough, but as the game slipped further and further out of reach, found ourselves battling to create anything decent. And even when those opportunities did come - quick counter attacks, and that half pass, half shot that should have made it 2-2 - we just didn'yt know what do to do with.

One could blame the referee, who had a poor game, but that would be taking too much away from Oakleugh, who forced several good saves out of Peter Zois. And so another crucial game comes up, against the Georgies, to mark the halfway mark. A win will temporarily halt the sudden slide, a loss make one ponder what it is an otherwise capable and talented side can do to get itself out of a mire.

Ladies and Germs, I have failed you

This post on The World Game Forum, the infamous Australian soccer cesspool (full of funny kunts, but) was made all the way back in August 2009. Me and Psile laughed it off - hell, I even questioned what the hell the poster was smoking. He's an Adelaide born poster named Bernardinho on the forum, or Bernie for short, who does allegedly enjoy the occasional bit of grass. He was also a contributor to a long dormant website and podcast enterprise called Football Nonstop, who used to be linked here until they, well, just stopped.

I was speaking to someone who has links with South Melbourne yesterday and this afternoon after I finished work. He was telling me that the current president of the club is trying to secure a move to the Singaporean league after having the Southern Cross FC bid rejected. Over there they don't have a salary cap and SMFC do have a bit of money to use.

I for one am a bit sceptical, but the idea itself is a bit intriguing. IF something like this was to happen at all what would the ramifications be? How would it impact the national team and the current crop of A-League players who are in search of a bigger pay packet?

Considering the length of time to be had from the rumour being published to the certainty of the situation being confirmed - and a check with my sources, who have validated the gestation period to roughly the same time - it's a fair effort to even get close.

To Bernie - I bow down to your greatness. To my small, loyal fan base, I apologise for disregarding what appeared to be random, speculative guff. I hope that my admittance of my failing will appease you, and will be less fussy about the guff I choose to ignore.

Lastly, for the time being however, it's a bit of a concern that the board thought they had kept it a secret for months, but that secretly in reality seemingly lasted mere minutes. Something to ponder.

And something else before I head off for the moment - had I posted it on here, as a rumour, would people involved have been honest with me? Would they have even have dared mention it? It makes me wonder where exactly on the information food chain I am. I know it's not very high, but still - this low? This untrusted?

Nah, that's not fair. They tell me things. Things I can't post in here, until they get official clearance.

Back to listening to the Field Mice for me I guess.

Kiss of Death, Round 10, 2010

10hen it all goes wrong, follow the Kiss of Death's example and blame someone else.



Once again apologies for the inconsistency in tipping this shemozzle of a competition.


Bentleigh Greens vs Hume City
Bentleigh to beat Hume 3-2. In what will be a great game of boring football, Bentleigh will just have that extra edge in the 92nd minute.

Green Gully Cavaliers vs Heidelberg United
Bergers are dead. Forget it. They won’t win another game all year. Gully won’t get relegated and will hopefully (fingers crossed), give the Bergers a bag full to take back to the Village. Green Gully 8 – Bergers 0

South Melbourne vs Oakleigh Cannons
Match of the week by far. Oakleigh is defying all the odds and sitting on top. South has its mind on Singapore in three weeks, but no excuses! South must win and win well. After coming back down with a thud at Richmond, it’s time we started getting serious about our football. We need to put away teams like we did at Hume. South in a 4-1 romp.


Altona Magic vs Richmond
Richmond didn’t convince me last week. Neither did Altona Magic. Altona Magic has replaced their coach with Saso Becvinovski, and it looks like Andy Sfet might be getting another run. Altona 2-0.

Northcote City vs Melbourne Knights
Hmmm, tough one here. Northcote on fire after giving the Bergers five to think about last week, and the Knights doing well at Altona. I’ll give this one to an in form Northcote after close statistical and mathematical analysis of past results. Northcote 2 – Melbourne Knights 1.


Sunshine Georgies vs Dandenong Thunder
Dandy…pfft. Sunshine George Cross to beat them at Somers Street 3-1. That is all.

Moris Mihailidis resigns as South Women's coach

As revealed in Goal Weekly, and as also seen in the comments section of a recent post, Women's team coach Moris Mihailidis has resigned, after South lost it's fourth game in a row, finding itself at the bottom of the table below even newly promoted and struggling Altona City. It's hard to tell how much of it has to do with results, and how much it's to do with internal wrangling. The loss of several key players hasn't helped the cause either, the net result being that South has a massive fight on its hands to avoid relegation, a long way from the breakthrough finals appearance they made last year.

Vale Antonis Karagiannis, Henri Van Groningen

Sad to hear of two deaths of former South players, one recent, and one from a few months back.


Antonis Karagiannis article taken from the official site.

The entire South Melbourne FC family would like to extend its deepest condolences and wishes to the Karagiannis family on the passing of former South Melbourne FC player Antonis Karagiannis, who sadly passed away last Sunday.

Karagiannis was a foundation player for South Melbourne FC and represented the club for two seasons from 1960-61. In 1960, he played an integral role in the club's promotion from Metropolitan Division 1 North (now State League 1) into the Victorian State League (now the VPL). In 1961, Karagiannis scored 15 goals for South in the Victorian State League and finished as the club's leading goal scorer for that season. In recognition of his efforts in the club's early years of existence, Karagiannis was inducted into the SMFC Hall of Fame at the 50th Year Anniversary Gala Ball at the Crown Palladium last year.

South Melbourne FC President Leo Athanasakis, speaking to smfc.com.au, remarked that "it is sad to see the passing of one of the individuals who were part of the Club in its formative years. We would like to extend our best wishes and condolences to the Karagiannis family."

As a mark of respect at Mr Karagiannis' passing, South Melbourne FC players will wear black armbands for Saturday's match against Oakleigh. In addition, a minute's silence will be held prior to the match commencing.



Little is known of Henri Van Groningen - whose sole reference in online Australian soccer archives is in a game for South Melbourne Hellas against Moonee Ponds in our inaugural 1960 season (he was listed erroneously as Van Gronignon). Initially it was thought by club historian John Kyrou to be an error, as there was no other supporting evidence for his existence - but a recent email by his son Anthony, who is living in the United States, has helped clarify matters. Van Groningen, born in the Netherlands, was a goalkeeper, and apparently also played at South Melbourne United prior to playing at South. He passed away on January 1st 2010, at the age of 74. Our sincerest condolences to both families.

Time and place for this week's game against Oakleigh.

Just so you know, and so you can't say I didn't tell you, this week's 'home' game is at Bentleigh's Kingston Heath Soccer Complex, 3pm, Saturday. Will do my best to get out there.

And to think there are some douchebags out there...

... yes, the relevant numpties on the Adelaide United forum, and probably a few yet to come on other bulletin boards - who think we should have been barred from participating in this tournament by the FFA. But being bored, and sorta by accident, I came across this piece, which shows that this offer or opportunity isn't new... and of course Sydney Olympic were allegedly offered an invitation in 2004, but with the end of the NSL, needed like the rest of us to get their shit together. But the point is, to get back to it, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, no?



Singapore Cup invitation seen as bridge to Asia
By Michael Cockerill
December 30, 2004

Four A-League clubs have been invited to participate in next year's expanded Singapore Cup, with Singaporean officials claiming the opportunity represents a gateway for closer ties with Asia.

Perth Glory, Sydney FC, Adelaide United and Melbourne Victory have all been asked to enter the knockout tournament, which carries $120,000 in prizemoney and begins in April. Perth have already rejected the approach, claiming their priority was to prepare for the World Club Championship qualifiers a month later, but the other three clubs are believed to be assessing the benefits.

Football Federation Australia officials, who have made it clear they want greater contacts between Australia and Asia, are known to support the move.

Singapore's 10-team S-League wants to expand its cup competition to 16 teams, and invitations have been sent to countries throughout South-East Asia as well as Australia. A team from Brunei and two local amateur teams have already been added to the 2005 draw, leaving three vacancies.
The S-League's chief executive, How Seen-Yong, said last night that Australian clubs would be a major attraction for local fans, and the competition would be a "good starting point" for developing closer ties with Asia. "We know from past experience [two defunct clubs, the Perth Kangaroos and the Darwin Cubs, competed in the S-League in the mid-1990s and dominated the competition] that the Australian teams would be strong, but we are not afraid to have a foreign team win the prizemoney," he said.

Learn a little about Gombak with Goran Subara

Gombak United actually has an Australian on its books, Goran Subara, formerly of Bonnyrigg White Eagles. In this clip from Jakarta Casual TV, Goran talks about the relative standards of Australian and Singaporean football, a bit about Gombak, professionalism, crowds and how one ends up in Singapore as a pro-footballer in the first place.

Children, Cheerleaders and Coloured Balls

That is to say, if you want more pics of the 2010 Singapore Cup draw, head over to this article on the incomparable Bolosepako blog. There's quite a few pictures of the process - and what a, er, fascinating process it is. Quite colourful. I've chosen this photo for some reason. I'm guessing Miroamer will be loving the coverage. And why not? Being pictured next to a shirt with Canon as the sponsor can't hurt an internet technology company. Can we have more money now?

But seriously, it's a pity that Alex Duric ain't at Singapore Armed Forces any longer (he's now at Tampines Rovers) - if both us and SAFFC won their first round games, we could have met again, and what an unlikely meeting that would have been.

In other news

South has been drawn to play Gombak United (nee Redhill Rangers) in the Singapore Cup. No idea of the when, where, etc, as of yet. Can I also say, that's a pretty big fucken trophy. Pics stolen from Po Hui Ko of the Bolosepako blog.

So much exploded cream and crust - Richmond 3 South 0

Cherry cake was delicious, though perhaps overdoing the cloves a bit.

Now for the game.

Three very cheap goals. I felt we dominated this match, had many, many chances to score, and paid the priece for fucking up at both ends.

There are people saying Richmond deserved their win - I won't deny them that much, seeing as they did score more goals.

However, what I will not swallow is the notion that it was an even game. It wasn't. We dominated the majority of this game, but couldn't finish. So, really, I could be more disappointed, but I won't be, because we actually played pretty well.

And what the hell was it with that mist floating over the ground intermittently? At least get a fluoro or orange ball if that's what people are going to be playing in.

Kiss of Death, Round 9, 2010

Kiss of Death is thinking of dessert, and so am I. Well, we have one thing in common after all.


Oakleigh Cannons vs Sunshine Georgies
Friday night at Jack Edwards. Oakleigh to brush aside the Sunshine Georgies 3-1. Not much to say about this one.

Richmond vs South Melbourne
This is the game to be at on Friday night, not Jack Edwards. Four goal hero Gianni De Nittis has finally found his range and the team is finally starting to play convincing, attractive football. A 0-6 thumping of high flying Hume has given everyone a breath of fresh air. The win we had to have. Richmond lost to Oakleigh and is on the backfoot from the get-go. A four day turnaround before they play us, most likely to be raining, South fans to be going feral still high from the win at Hume, Chatz to be under pressure, and South to top off the start of the weekend with a 0-3 win. Biggest talking point will be the boiled continental sausages and the Bavarian cheesecake.

Dandenong Thunder vs Green Gully Cavaliers
I’m still not convinced with Dandy Funder. This year they are pretty poor and Munro surely must be going soon. Gully to continue Funder’s poor season with a 0-2 win.

Hume City vs Altona Magic
I would be very surprised if Vlahos will still be on the bench for Hume before or after this game. Altona Magic will go to Hume knowing that South gave them six. Hume will know Altona Magic will be coming to rub it in. The scoreboard attendant will know the game will stay at 0-0 and he won’t be needed.

Melbourne Knights vs Bentleigh Greens
I love the Knights. They give the league a breath of fresh air. They bring mediocre high flying teams back down to earth with a thud. Bentleigh is gonna cop it. They are the most overrated team in the league, and the ladder proves that. Knights to walk away with this one 3-0 with the Canadians scoring a brace.

Heidelberg Utd vs Northcote City
What a season for the Bergers. Only win of the year at the tribunal. Can’t see them winning anything else to be honest. Northcote is a bit shabby, but good enough to beat the bergers. 0-2 to the good guys. (Northcote City)

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water...

We are apparently appealing a couple of points from the tribunal results regarding the recent rank stupidity which occured against Heidelberg. The appeal will be heard on Wednesday, 5th May and looks like this in officialese. Basically we're trying to appeal one of the charges - specifically the bringing the game into disrepute thanks to our club associates entering the field of play. And we'll also be having a go at getting the 1-1 reinstated instead of the 0-3. Good luck with all that. I'd love to hear the argument they'll use now that they couldn't use before. Thanks to one of this blog's favourite 'club associates' Psile, for giving us the heads up.

Highlights from Hume game

Lots of goals. Bit of sun glare. Chitchat with Vasilevski, De Nittis and De Moraes. Complete lack of acknowledgment from the commentator of his role in the aftermath of the first goal. Disappointing.

Arounds the grounds with the youth and women's sides

I've neglected these two entities for different reasons so far this season, and perhaps it's time to rectify that situation.

The under 21s have been having a good season - the momentum gained from turning around the fortunes last year (praise be to David Lugli for making them watchable again), where they finished second to Heidelberg after a couple of seasons of serious below par-ness, has not been squandered, and they are currently sitting first on the table, under the managership of Joe 'Pepe' Montemurro. I had the opportunity to watch nearly the entire hit out against Hume - the only fault I could find was in squandering countless opportunities - but their commitment and class couldn't be questioned when they came back from a goal down to beat Hume 2-1. Rhodri Payne also got some game time as he makes his way back from injury, but no sign yet of Nathan Caldwell. It's a very far cry from the dark days of 2007, where a 9 man Kingston outfit - with an outfield player as keeper! - dragged back a 3-1 deficit to win 4-3 at Kingston Heath, with some of our players on the bench laughing about it, as if it didn't matter.

As for the women, the giddy highs achieved last year appear to be a distant memory. They've lost all three games so far, having lost players of the calibre of Laura and Amelia Spiranovic as well as others to various forces of natural attrition, such as work, travel and becoming part of the women's NTC squad. As reported earlier in the year, it also appears as if they still haven't decided whether they are one of us - that is, the bigger South family - or a distinct entity. They still use the South name and a version of the South logo, but appear to be getting closer to declaring outright and full independence. Which is fine by me, as long as they get themselves a new identity. While their links to South have always been viewed by some as tenuous at best, now that the club is bringing everything back into the fold, the way things once ran, logically, can't continue in the bold world of today. If they want to be a club solely for women, that's entirely their prerogative - but lose the South Melbourne name and let everyone get on with their lives.

Self-service Kebabs - Hume City 0 South Melbourne 6

No seriously - in return for your $5, you received a bread roll with a cut in the middle; the dude in charge of the meat would place a selction of shavings into said roll; then you were free to add your own amounts of onion and tomato. Not sold on this method myself.

Anyways, Hume came flying out of the blocks, and we were scrambling. This lasted for about 20 minutes or so, then we worked our way into, scored, and kept on scoring for the rest of the game. Many of the goals were comical in their ease - the pick of the bunch was Daniel Vasilevski's freekick in the 2nd half to make it 5-0.

Hume had a few out apparently, but still had some classy players out there, and came out breathing fire, and then just stopped. It was bizarre. I said it last week, I know, but a much tougher game this week against Richmond.

Gianni De Nittis and Travis Cloke bagging four goals in a single day? Who knew such things were possible. Oh, and the legendary umbrella is dead. Lest we forget.

More Pumpkins

You know the drill.

Finally, finally, finally, maybe, probably, I think it's done

Neos Kosmos yesterday, in its sliver of VPL coverage, and once you get through the usual Oakleigh suckhole guff, reported that we will be playing out of Northcote. Thank you. Now was that so very, very hard?
Now, to the minuseseses. I wasted some good time funny action hysterics by posting that playing out of the biodome krap yesterday.

On the plus side, I was wrote it up while procrastinating and keeping future lawyers off the computers in the library at Vic Uni's Queen Street campus.

So apart from the heinous endless pointless come on and just bloody tell us we're playing at Olympic Park Northcote already, I think I came out of this at about even.

Kiss of Death, Round 8, 2010

Kinnie, peanuts, souvlaki  - seems like the Kiss of Death hasn't had a decent meal for a while.


Bentleigh Greens vs Heidelberg United
Well, well, well. The peanut seller really is making a killing so far this year. All these Greek derbies, and no sign of the taxman make for a prosperous year. Now I realise why he is pushing for more Greek teams in the VPL. Souvlakis aplenty, and I might even make an appearance. Bergers to still be reeling from their tribunal hearing on Wednesday, and with three of their players being suspended including Tilovski, Elvin and the other one, the final score Bentleigh 3 Heidelberg 0. Please note: the suspensions mentioned are just my opinion on the tribunal hearing.

Northcote City vs Dandenong Thunder
Yet to have Munro’s departure confirmed, but either way, Northcote to beat the Funder 2-0 in a scrappy contest. Funder is finished.

Altona Magic vs Melbourne Knights
The Balkan derby. As the only person in the known universe to have tipped last weeks 2-2 for Altona Magic, I can now come out and tip Altona Magic 3 Melbourne Knights 3. Both play attacking, eh, kinda football.

Green Gully Cavaliers vs Sunshine Georgies
Aya ha kefinti! No idea what that means, but those words and ‘Kinnie’, are all I know of the Maltese language. This is the battle of the nobles (Gully), and the peasants from Gozo (Georgies). The pirates will be feasting on pastizzi, getting drunk on Kinnie, and slashing a horse or two. Will be a tight one, but Gully will be too good for George Cross. Final score Gully 2 George Cross 1.

Hume City vs South Melbourne - Anzac Day Cup
The landing on the shores of Gallipoli on 25 April 1915 was the first major military operation in which the new Australian commonwealth was involved. Because of this it has been regarded as the “baptism of fire” of the new nation. Lest We Forget. 

Turks vs Greeks. How this is relevant to Anzac Day other than the event date, I do not know (according to an apocryphal tale, the Turks were told the Aussies were actually Greeks - Ed). We will sit there and respect the Turkish anthem as proud Australians. We will then sit there and watch Hellas beat Hume 0-2. Be mindful of the ground signage, and all the kickboxers in the shiny jeans. Oh yeah, apparently the ground is an absolute shambles.

Oakleigh Cannons vs Richmond
I got no idea how Oakleigh won at Hume last weekend. Richmond will struggle. Oakleigh will beat them 1-0. Johnny A to make his excellent tactical substitutions in the 83rd, 85th, and 87th minutes.

Welcome to Jazz Club - Nice

Whoa. This week's edition of SMFCTV has taken a turn I didn't quite expect. The combination of commentary and music makes it sit halfway between an Aural Text spoken word beatnik piece (wonderful Triple R programme which I had the honour of being on last year) and The Fast Show's Jazz Club skits. Some other things worth noting, maybe:

• Steve O'Dor's nickname must be livewire or something similarly suitable. 
• There's a weird light on Joe Keenan's head, which often illuminates his right ear.
• Vaughan Coveny endorses pitch invasions! Ok, that's probably a bit disingenuous from me.

Finally the answer to where we'll be relocating

Back in the day when me and Hunter S. Thompson were out in the Nevada badlands, on too much of whatever it was we'd taken - he wrote a book about it which you may have heard of, A Bear called Paddington - and we saw this neglected outpost of the world's second best sport, 43 man squamish. The rest of the trip was a bit of blur to be honest, and it's hard to tell what was factual and what was more factual. We always meant to go back and tidy it up, but since we didn't know how we got there in the first place, we let the moment pass.

 

Anyway, it was somewhat a surprise to then learn that improvements had been made to the ground in the past 40 odd years - and now that dustbowl boutique stadium is a virtual tropical biodome paradise. And with people freaking out about still not being told where we're going to play during our relocation away from Lakeside, it is my pleasure to announce that this stadium will be brought over here to Melbourne, ala the Famous Spiegeltent, and shipped from place to place to let people from all over Melbourne marvel at its sheer tremindosity. Who's footin' the bill you may ask? Well, the Victorian Government is of course. And the best bit is, only we get to use it. Marvelous, outstanding, crap. Normally I'm not for this kind of government spending wastage - esopecially when they could be funding more stuff like experimental theatre shows at public swimming pools. But you know what? Fuck it. This is the bare minimum we deserve. Because we are South Melbourne, the greatest club in the known universe, and everyone else can just shove if it they don't like it.

Well, there you go

A $3,500 fine in total, and a 3-0 loss.

Oh irony of ironies if Heidelberg avoid going down thanks to that; or if we miss out on finals, or double chance, or week off because of that point, or goal difference.

Found guilty or threatening behaviour/missiles et al, and bringing game into disrepute. Found not guilty for the running onto field and alleged lack of security.

Take what you can get and all that.

For the record Heidelberg Laser Dude cost his side $2,000.


EDIT

I mean, seriously, how did we not get fined or punished for the running on the field thing? Boy, did we get off relatively lightly. Beats me as to why. Not the end of it though methinks.

There's that scene in The Simpsons

in the Radioactive Man movie episode, where the nerds are trying to find out who's going to play Radioactive Man - I keep telling you, he's 73 years old and he's dead - and they have the one nerd underneath the producers table with his computer and listening device. That's where I wish I was with regards to the marathon hearing and deliberation session going. Instead I'm here. I've got to improve my networks.

Pet Hate Of The Month, April 2010

I know this blog could be described as pet hate of every month, week, day etc, but here's one that's been getting up my goat for a fair while - which is kinda topical seeing as we're probably going to get reamed at the tribunal tonight.


No one like us, we don't care.


But here's the thing - you do care. A lot. To bother coming up with a chant to show your indifference to your not being liked, or to borrow that chant, or to use it as a slogan of defiance, shows that you very much do care about what others think about you.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. But at least be honest about, and don't pretend that your feelins haven't been hurt by your enemies. The Zen thing to do, as is my understanding, would be to not resist the hate, but rather let it be and get on with your life.

And I'm not for one moment claiming this observation is in any way a stroke of genius. It was just something that was bugging me.

Croatian Duck Spectacular - Knights 0 South 1

 Photo: Gains.

A nice day, decent crowd, and a win where I thought we wouldn't get one. Joe Keenan with the only goal, a curled left foot shot around the Knights keeper. There's some people saying the Knights were lackluster, but I never saw that - I thought they moved the ball well enough, but weren't able to create enough gilt edged chances to justify a win - and some desperate defending by our boys, and a very solid game by Peter Zois helped a fair bit. For our part, I thought our first half was much better than our second. And we did create chances of our own, of a better quality than those of the Knights, if not quantity, and really, we should have added at least one more - we really need a striker - there's only so many goals we can score from midfield. Next up, Hume away on Anzac Day, which I fancy will be tougher than today's game, and to be played in much worse conditions.

It's about time

There's an elephant in the room - and Coveny on another coaching vacation isn't it. Enjoy what you can of this, because they haven't even given us the point yet. Carl Recchia and David Lugli do the chit chat business.

Tribunal hearing set for Wednesday 21st April

Check out the full list of alleged offences on the VPL's website. If you don't feel like reading, here's the gist. Four charges against us, two against the Bergers (laser pointing dude and Tilovki allegedly assaulting a fan). We've been charged with:

1. Physical objects being thrown and/or racial taunts
2. People who shouldn't have been on the field of play being omn the field of play
3. Alleged lack of security
4. Bringing the game into disrepute.

Tidy list there. Not sure how it will turn out, and I don't really want to second guess anything. Question is, when the judgements are handed down, what will be asked of the club and it's unruly 'associates'. Will they get the ban stick? Or will they be asked to make up for it in some way? The latest official South press release sheds some light on the matter. Some bannings in the pipeline it seems. Might be a good time to get out of the country for a bit. Probably a good thing I've ditched smfcboard too.

Kiss of Death, Round 7, 2010

What a week. Nevertheless, the world keeps turning, and the Kiss of Death keeps churning out its particular brand of wisdom. Enjoy.

Richmond vs Sunshine Georgies
Richmond to win this one 3-0. They had a tough task against the high flying Hume last week and got the draw as predicted by who else but me. Sunshine George Cross will not be able to absorb the constant pressure from Richmond this Friday night at Kevin Bartlett Reserve.

Green Gully Cavaliers vs Northcote City
I was suprised that Northcote didn't beat Sunshine George Cross last week. I was also suprised that Gully got up at Bentleigh. Therefore, using the formula of suprises, Gully to get this one 2-1.

Dandenong Thunder vs Bentleigh Greens
Funder to continue Bentleighs losing streak with a 2-1 win at Dandy. Loza to be walking on eggshells by the end of it all.

Heidelberg United vs Altona Magic
......and the winner is ? the peanut seller ! This game will finish in a 2-2 draw down at the village. On a sidenote, the chilli flakes in the canteen to be absolutely demolished.

Hume City vs Oakleigh Cannons
Choke, choke, choke, choke, choke, choke like Oakleigh, choke like Oakleigh! Forget it Jack Edwards heads. You're gonna lose this one too. The Knights should've beaten you 3/4-0. Hume WILL beat you 3/4-0.

Melbourne Knights vs South Melbourne
One of my favourite derbies. A ground on the fringe of Sunshine's industrial area, a ground fully owned by the Melbourne Croatia Social Club, great cevapi, and plenty of piss! Probably the most passionate derby in the VPL. The Knights had a great win at Oakleigh last week. South played an abandoned 91st minute game against the Bergers. The scoreline at the abandonment was 1-1. Game was abandoned because the police horses left deep divets on BJS. Anyway, South is playing pretty poorly and frankly I want heads on a platter. Knights are playing well. Score will be Knights 2 - South 3.

Where ist ein weekly highlights package?

Ich bin ein jelly donut and all that.

I mean, seriously, I want to see us not losing a regular season game against the Bergers.

I wonder why it hasn't come out yet.

Meh, who cares,

I gave a rambling seminar today for my one of honours subjects, and considering I was grossly underprepared, it went well enough, Certainly the other bewildered students thought it was very good. Pity they don't give out the marks.

For the record, it was an analysis of rhetoric using Plato, Aristotle and Cicero to analyise a 2002 Mark Latham speech. Good times, good times. Apart from the fascism and whatnot. But that never completely goes away, in any case.

So, how's Goran Zoric doing?

Well, to be honest, apart from being assigned the no. 20 shirt, I don't know. Police United aren't going too flash though, just the one draw from their first four games, sitting second last.

Thankyou Valkanis Family

Last Sunday's game, amongst other things, was also the end of the very long tenure of the Valkanis family's canteen operation at Middle Park and Lakeside. They won't be coming with us to wherever we're going, which is a pity. Their keftedes in particular will be missed.

They won't be lost to South entirely however, as they will now be providing comfort food to our junior wing. Hopefully they get a chance to enjoy a home senior game for the first time in what must be ages.

So thanks to the Valkanis family for their years of service, and to Filio, Jimmy and Helen  and whoever else they had do a guest stint, for making myself always feel welcome and a part of the South family.

For the record, I bought the final crumbed spicy chicken wing.

The Night Is A Blackbird - South 1 Bergers 1 - Game abandoned 92nd minute

It was supposed to be the culmination of years of work. Dragging the stricken barge that is this club off the reef. But, it was not to be. For 90 odd minutes, through frustration and reminiscence, people for the most part seemed to hold their nerve, despite being 1-0 down to the old enemy, on this symbolic day.

And then the worst thing possible happened. We scored.

The celebrations spilled over the fence, but rather than ending on that note by remaining in the corner, away from the players, some people took it too far. The referee rightly abandoned the game.

Some of the responsible persons have admitted their wrongdoing. Others have not. Some have even tried to justify the events to me personally, knowing that I would not and could not agree with them - and me being unable to give them the forgiveness or validation that was being sought. It is, for me at least, irrelevant. The damage has probably already been done. To what remains of our reputation. To our relationships with sponsors. To the players morale, after finding the equaliser. To the thousands of people who came to see us today, including scores of our juniors and their parents.

In the greater scheme of things, this is not even nearly the worst thing that has happened at South. But it's just another example, of when it comes down to it, not putting the interests of the club first. I feel worst, naturally, for the people who have worked tirelessly to set this event up in the first place. They know who they are. Here's hoping they are not discouraged, by the actions of their friends and fellow fans, by the punishments that will be doled out, by the hard work that may be undone, and the fact that we will, in an important way, have to start again.

The opposing view will be, that I am being melodramatic; that I am not sticking up for my fellow fans; that I am a nerd; that I have a stupid hat; that what's happened has happened, and there's nothing to be done about it now; that it was a spur of the moment thing, a rush of adrenaline, where people don't stop to think. And that's the problem right there. A little self-control, even in the heat of the moment, would have gone a long way.

So much goodwill lost. A right kick in the teeth. Another example of the periodic self-destruction which, to members of both those who are lamenting and those who are defending, seem to agree is almost an intrinsic part of this club. But there is, to be fair, only so much one can wallow in self-flaggelation and misery. Eventually, we must move on. But moving on doesn't necessarily mean turning a blind eye. It's self-centred perhaps, to feel that a great division has emerged between myself and so many of the people I have called friends in these past few years. And yet perhaps, more than at any other time, more than after any other incident, I feel I am at one end of a spectrum, and they at the other.

Does the Singapore Cup beckon for South?

You probably all found out while wasting time in your cramped cubicle, waiting for the drudgery of the working week to pass. Perhaps you're unemployed, and spat out half mashed load of froot loops at your computer screen when you saw that news. Me, I found out very late last night while eating strawberry pancakes on Chapel Street. The news has been overshadowed somewhat by the Gold Coast United and Archie Fraser fiascoes, but still generated it's own, mildly narcotic buzz, so far mainly on FourFourTwo and The Roar.

Now that you've read those pieces - or at least the official press release - you all want to know what I think. Because that's why you're here, right? So here goes. Brilliant opportunity if done right. I am not for the fantasy land idea of a permanent move to Singapore to play in the S-League. There's just no reasoning and no way near enough money and interest to sustain it. Or so I think, after what happened to Perth Kangaroos and Darwin Cubs, and the fact that the S-League is, in its own way, quite unstable when to comes new entrants coming and bowing out just as quickly. And besides, that'd leave us with a lot less away games we could actually make it to.

But this is not that thing. It is an invitation to a cup tournament. Although I'm sure the boffins out at Albert Road Drive have bigger ideas to come. From our end, there are immediate concerns about several factors.

• Games are apparently midweek - and let's face it, most if not all of our players are part timers. And what about the effect of travel? Games would have to be posponed - or at least perhaps we'd have our first round Singapore Cup game moved to the June VPL break period. Though, since it is only the first round that is played before September, it might not be so much of a hassle.
• Costs of travel. The boffins reckon they can raise the cash with sponsorship - hopefully they're right.  
• The FFA knocking it on the head, as has apparently happened with a proposed Northern Territory consortium seeking to play in the S-League. The obvious rejounder to that being, that being invited to participate in a cup tournament is different in some crucial ways - which each side will have to clarify - to playing in a league competition, with all the vagaries about foreign player quotas and such.  
• We lose, and lose badly in the first round.  But that's a risk we should be willing to take, I feel.

What's in it for us?

• As mentioned in several pieces already, an expansion of our brand, whatever thhe hell means - probably to do with sponsors and stuff. 
• Shaking up the box on what a 2nd tier, ostracised club can do if it puts its mind to it.
• Forcing the FFA's hand when it comes to getting its arse into gear about an FFA Cup or 2nd division
• A really cool away trip. 
• We might actually win the damn thing. Or at least get through the first round.

It's all terribly exciting. I'm amazed they managed to sit on for as long as they did. If I was more perceptive - and clearly, I have the analytical powers of a pea - I might have deduced something from questions I was asked by a certain schemer.

Think about it

Gold Coast United allegedly going under.

Five All Whites - including start striker Shane Smeltz - training with South to keep their fitness and sharpness up.

South needs a striker.

You know it makes sense.

Dan Silkstone goes one way, then the other

Age writer Dan Silkstone - a reporter I normally have a fair bit of time for - has learned a useful lesson about getting your facts right. In the original version of his article Lakeside Oval may make a return he wrote this

South Melbourne Soccer Club will remain in the Bob Jane-branded western-side grandstand but it is not yet decided whether the club will play matches at the refurbished facility.

The club's final match at Bob Jane Stadium is on Sunday before it relocates during the 18-month construction phase. It is yet to be determined where it will play once the stadium is finished.

Of course, this sent some people into raptures, and made a few other people freak out. But then for whatever reason - perhaps a public service flunky sent him a message - Silkstone changed it to this

South Melbourne Soccer Club will remain in the Bob Jane-branded western-side grandstand and will return to play matches at the refurbished facility after an 18-month construction period.

So all's well that ends well. As for the ethics behind altering an online article without admitting the correction - well, could have a field day with that.

Kiss of Death, Round 6, 2010 season

The Kiss of Death is back after the break, to wield potty mouthed judgement on every tsombano and every peasant club in the league.

Bentleigh Greens vs Green Gully Cavaliers
Bentleigh's bubble finally burst at Northcote on the weekend. Hurrah! Hurrah!
Peanut Man made a killing at the Greek derby. Hurrah! Hurrah!
Bentleigh to beat a hapless/caretaker coached Green Gully 2-1. BOOOOOOOOO!

Oakleigh Cannons vs Melbourne Knights
The Cannons dropped points at the Village, and the Knights beat Richmond. We all know that I prefer the Knights over any other Greek team bar South, therefore Oakleigh 1 Knights 3.

Richmond vs Hume City
Hume has been playing really well, and so has Richmond. Chatz to tinker with his lineup and force a draw against Hume. Logic dictates a 1-1 draw and Richmond's scorer to be Daniel Visevic.

Altona Magic vs Dandenong Thunder
Andy Sfetcopoulos got a run last week for Altona. Is that why they won? HAHAHA No. Will Mr T be back in goals this week for Altona? Probably, if he gets over his injury. Where too next for Andy Sfet? Anyway, now onto the game. Dandy Funder looked a shadow of the team that surprised many last year. Munro's Mates are starting to falter and seem Funderstruck, and after the abuse Stuey copped last weekend, I have it on good authority that he will be getting the sack either this week or next. Magic will beat the Thunder and Stuey will be coaching them the week after. Altona Magic 3 Dandy Funder 0.

South Melbourne vs Heidelberg United
The Super Classico. The Derby of the Aiwnians. The Derby of all Derbies. This game is broadcast to a world wide audience of over five billion people. Catch is, you must have the internet and know of the FFV’s live stream. OLE! Bergers are in the shit… diarrhoea like shit, you know the one that is sooooo good, you don’t even need to wipe your arsehole? They are still trying to find Daniel from HUFCtv who seems to have disappeared, and personally, I’m still waiting for Episode 1 of HUFC radio. But anyhoo, I hope South teach those peasants a lesson or four. I want South to take us back to the good old days where you knew that the Bergers would cop plenty of goals. Bergers need to get pumped. They need a wake up call. It will be for the good of the game. South Melbourne 5 Heidelberg 0. De Nittis x4, Gasparis x1 + 4 assists.

Sunshine Georgies vs Northcote City
Northcote to my surprise have won two games this season. I had them down for zero wins, zero draws, plenty of losses. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt to beat the horse whisperers this weekend. It will be a tight game, with fuck all chances. The only chance of the game to fall to Northcote in the 92nd minute. Sunshine Georgies 0 Northcote City 1.

Yes? What happened? When did that happen? How much of it? Oh my goodness, I'll be right up.

If Sydney United and Melbourne Knights could get the backlash they did for farming kids off to Croatian clubs, I wonder what kind of stick we'll get for allowing this sort of blatantly treasonous behaviour. And is the club getting paid? And will they move with us to wherever the fuck we're going after this week? And will we quickly become hoof and hope afficionados because of this relationship? If so, the blame shouldn't be on Vaughan Coveny's head - he is after all, entitled to try and sneakily increase the chances of his homeland at whatever cost - but instead, squarely at the feet of Football Director Ange Dallas if anything should happen to our precious jogo bonito.


Soccer: DIY All Whites hit on unusual way of preparing for Cup
By Chris Rattue

Shane Smeltz is among a group of five All Whites who have set up their own training camp in Melbourne. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Welcome to the DIY All Whites.

Members of New Zealand's World Cup-bound soccer side have taken themselves to Melbourne to keep in shape for the tournament in June.

Tim Brown, Ben Sigmund, Leo Bertos and David Mulligan from the Wellington Phoenix and Shane Smeltz from Gold Coast United designed the 12-day camp to negate the long break before playing Australia on May 24.

Brown and Sigmund hit on their own camp concept after the Phoenix's A-league campaign ended last month.

"We're supplying the food but New Zealand Football came to the party with money for airfares, accommodation and a rental car which we are really grateful for," Sigmund said.

"I suppose what we have done is unique ... but we desperately needed to get away from distractions and be focused on football."

The five train in the morning under Phoenix assistant Luciano Trani using programmes set by All Whites trainer Kenny McMillan, then work with Victorian club South Melbourne.

"Other World Cup teams get paid a lot more money and get everything you could possibly need," said Sigmund.

"We've heard England have three pitches at their base in South Africa mapped out to the size of the fields their group matches are on. Those are things we could never dream of."

Most of the All Whites will go into camp in Auckland on April 28

In Summary...

Wow, even getting requests now. This is from a post I made on the Melbourne Victory forum, in response to a post (a challenge?) about what and how reconciliation could take plave between old and new; and what improvements did we think had occurred in that time. MelbCro, a Melbourne Knights supporting poster, suggested I blog it.


Dante,

I can't comment on juniors and development, because I have no worthwhile insight into that at all. Similarly, I've seen bits and pieces of three A-League games in the past 5 years, so can't comment on the standard.

The move into Asia should have been done years ago. They've seemed to have sorted out a lot of the crap that was holding back the potential of those current overseas based Socceroos, in that they now have the facilities and help that they should have.

The game has come along in leaps and bounds in many ways. Better stadiums, better conditions for players, more media. But it's not my game - in much the same way that previously, people who felt (rightly or wrongly) that the game wasn't theirs, now feel a sense of ownership over it. It's not the game that I grew up with - with all the negative and positive things that came with it. There is no timetable for reconciliation. There's no need for it. The changes that have been enacted have been done so forcefully, that there's no turning back, really. It's a different culture, a different environment, tapping into something broader in society.

Stella starring - I'm so sorry - in Siena youth set up

Word on the streets is that rather than being farmed out to the chips and mayo outfit in backstreet Belgium, Francesco Stella, the Prince of the Stepover, has been acquitting himself very well in Siena's you set up. Which is absolutely terrific news as far as I'm concerned. Scoring some goals too apparently. I nicked this photo by the way from somewhere else.

So it's come to this

South on TV. I'll say this. I'm not against it. How could one be? But I will express the concerns that I've already raised before, when the idea was floated a while back, so I feel there's no need to apologise for any offense caused.

• Sponsorship. Well it appears they've found some, which is great - otherwise how else could they commit to the schedule and the equipment? 
• Timeslot. You get what you pay for, at least initially. 10am on a Saturday morning isn't a glamorous spot on the grid - but it's pretty much what Green Gully's got as well, who have the money to burn. Which leads us to...
• Demographics. It's great that Channel 31 has got its digital licence and spectrum allocation - as long as they get the rest of the money to make the necessary upgrades of course. One of my concerns was about their, at the time, dim future. Especially considering that Channel 31 was losing ever more of it's audience as the switch was being made to digital.
• Workload. This has always been the big one. It's a lot of work for volunteers to do. Which is not to say that it can't be done - just that when you have much the same people putting together all the club's PR and information products, it just gets bigger. But if they belielve they can do it, and withstand the unpredictability of illness and absence, more power to them.

And I say these things not out of hate or jealousy from being overlooked for nearly every single thing of this type - wink, wink - but only out of concern for the people putting together, lest they burn out. I've seen it happen before, and it wasn't pleasant. In that regard then, here are some of the things this show will hopefully do.

• Sponsorship. Providing even more opportunity for our sponsors to be showcased.
• Completing the loop. Radio, internet - and now television. All feeding into each other, giving people access wherever they are, whenever they want.
• Just being on television. If and/or when Channel 31 goes digital, and if we hopefully and eventually get a better timeslot, people will watch, because people will channel surf.
• The chutzpah behind it. Being ballsy enough to do something like this. Now, one may say that Green Gully has been doing it for years - and it's true, they have, and they deserve major credit for it. But they haven't had to deal with the relevance identity crisis that we have. Doing all this stuff re-affirms the club's commitment to not go away and die in a quiet corner. 

This blog enjoys reveling in its despondency, and it can afford to do that because of its independence from machine politics and any sort of serious following from anyone. But for the club itself as a going concern, it's been all too easy to fall into the same trap of feeling all sorry for itself. This is another step in the transformation and restoration of the club. Where this recovery ultimately leads to, is as yet unwritten.

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye

Days of redevelopment past

So, with us moving out for a bit, and them going to build a stand on the outer side at Lakeside, it's perhaps worth noting our history of outer sides. Of course, there was no outer side stand at Middle Park. It was always that Hellas and Hakoah built stand from the very early days of Middle Park's history as a stadium, and not simply a probably unenclosed park.

And there was this, which I've nicked from Austadiums

Bob Jane Stadium Redevelopment  

Current Status:
At this stage, is is unlikely this redevelopment will go ahead.

Overview:

The proposed redevelopment of Melbourne's Bob Jane Stadium will include a new Grand Stand to be built opposite the currently members stand. The plans for the new grandstand include seating for six thousand people in a two-tiered structure, as well as increased corporate dining facilities and viewing suites. The plans also include office facilities, which could include housing for the Victorian Soccer Federation.

I'm not sure what year that's from. One wonders if it had been built, what route our fortunes may have taken. A facility of that sort, accommodating the pleb and celeb alike in great comfort, hell, even just the increase in undercover seating... but that opportunity, for whatever reason, is long gone, and with it... well, another set of what ifs I guess.

Certainly, in the late NSL era, Peter Mitrakas said the following in a Herald Sun article about building a new stand:

Mitrakas said South was looking for a co-tenant at Bob Jane Stadium, with an ultimate aim of building a second grandstand and turning the ground into a 14,000-capacity, all-seater stadium.

"When we took out the lease in 1995, we also got a development approval to build another grandstand (opposite the current stand), but we haven't got the money to do it," he said.

"We estimated then it would cost up to $3 million but that will at least have doubled now.

This was before the new league even had a name, and the allegedly Chinese backed consortium Melbourne Dragons was rumoured to be a candidate for inclusion into the new competition. Nobody talks about that anymore though.

Farken Pumped, Farken

I might as well type this while listening to Doves' Some Cities - the only album of theirs I like - and before the adrenalin flows out of my system. It's a huge week coming up, but more on that during the other 7 days of what's ahead.

I've been feeling pretty crappy and unsure about my honours thesis, to the point where I've been incredibly slack about my reading - but I've got down to some database wrangling and found some choice cuts and trends. And while I'll have to rethink my angle, at least there's something a little firmer to grab onto.

And it got me thinking about some other projects that have fallen by the wayside. My most recent Ozfootball work is a distant memory. And the fanzine never even got started. And the South Melbourne Hellas online historical compendium got a bit of a run then died before it could even be launched. Even my wikipedia work has pretty much stalled.

And part of the problem is the technical difficuly of putting that stuff together - especially from a novice point of view, especially online. You can gain and lose enthusiasm along the way, but if you're not au fait with the tools from the get go, you'll always be on the backfoot. Especially someone like me, ever so tentative and unsure about every little thing.

And I figured, why can't OzFootball be turned into a wiki? Well, because it would take a hell of a lot of work, and I'm not sure people are interested in converting the data on there to a new, easier to use format. But starting from scratch, it should be possible to revive the Hellas Historical Site myself and a couple of others had a semi-decent stab at.

This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Of course, we can't hope to do something as awesome and as detailed as that. But we could certainly do something similar. And the fact that the semi-inspiration of this blog, Supermercado, is the major contributor, shows that it couldn't be that hard. Ok, an unwarranted dig, but even if it's me and one other person, I'm determined to make this happen. There's so much of a story to tell.

Bah, Stupid Pagan Bullshit

Holidays are that special time
When we laugh and sing and feel warm and cozy
Forget about being angry for a day

from Happy Holidays From Charlie Manson (in that kickarse episode of South Park where they go to Nebraska and somehow redeem Manson via ad nauseum Christmas specials).


I'm bored. How about you? Nah, you all love Easter, and Jeebus, and have millions of friends and so therefore there isn't this huge vacuum needing to be filled where a South game would usually be.

I'll be likely attending the Collingwood game tomorrow. It's against Melbourne, and so a win should be guaranteed, and if not, well, apart from being the laughing stock of that competition, at least there won't be any Melbourne fans on the train on the way back, the way back being the Werribee line. It's also one of the very small handful of AFL matches I can get myself down to.

Today, bizarrely, I've been invited to attend a rugby league match. The Storm against St George at Docklands to be a little more exact. I'm not a fan of rugby league - me being petit-bourgeois and all that - not a fan of the Storm in any remote sense even as expected of my supposed sporting civic duty (fuck this town's parochialism can get up my goat sometimes), and not being a fan of the Docklands Stadium - apart from last year's Asian Cup Qualifier against Oman, I hadn't been inside the place for years - it should be something quite different, and yet so predictable in that it will only reinforce my appreciation of South and stuff. But that's probably quite a naff and close minded approach to take.

South women have new site - but are they even our women anymore?

You can visit them, here. But are they still part of the affiliation system? Or the Super Awesome One Big Happy Family System? I don't know to be honest. If they aren't, well... they probably shouldn't be using that logo - the Albert Park Women's club use of a re-jigged Lakers era logo notwithstanding (let's be honest, anyone can have that for free). And they should probably get themselves a new name. In which case it's nice that their history section mentions, more or less, that they are not a direct continuation of the original South Melbourne Hellas women's team, but rather a relocated Greensborough/Nunawading.

Not that there's anything wrong with that of course. And who knows, maybe there's a huge misunderstanding on my part as to what the hell's going on down near pit lane. Let's hope it gets sorted out soon. But we said that a month or two back, and nothing good seemed to happen. It's all gone very quiet.