Plucky! Bentleigh Greens 1 South Melbourne 2

The scoreboard has an existential crisis. Photo: Gains.

First things first: this was a pretty damn good game to watch. Secondly, the home team were very stiff not to get at least a point out of this contest. A lot of the credit for that must go to the re-invented and/or re-awakened Peter Gavalas, who since emerging from his year long waking dream (specific moment - against Port during the pre-season), has started restoring the faith of not only his detractors, but also his ardent supporters and most importantly the players in the defensive line ahead of him.

It was end to end to stuff, as South sought to apply the kind of forward pressure that had worked so well against a lacklustre Green Gully and an insipid Southern Stars in the first two rounds. Bentleigh weren't surprised by this tactic, nor were they flustered by it, as they moved the ball well out of defence and set up several promising chances from counter attacks.

For South's part, they stuck to their guns, albeit not in the rampaging manner of the opening two rounds, Without the grunt work of Alan Kearney in the middle - he'll miss another 3-5 weeks with a knee injury - South's build up play was more disjointed, less precise. But credit must also go to Bentleigh for limiting the space available to South's wide players more than other teams had done so far this season.

Still, the opening goal of the match came from a cross from the right by Dimi Hatzimouratis, finding Brad Norton at the back post who it must be said for the umpteenth time, whatever his merits as a footballer, does have a knack for finding the back of net. The ball had to bounce a couple of times, but it found its way into the goal, and in this game they all count the same.

Bentleigh predictably wouldn't go down without a fight, and equalised not too long after. Byles was down hurt, and keeping everyone onside, and Bentleigh made the most of that opportunity to level the scores. South players complained to the officials for several minutes, but it didn't do any good - a salient lesson in playing to the whistle. As for the officiating in general, while it was a clean game for the most part, the home team for mine seemed to get the sway of the 50/50 decisions.

The second half was more of the same. A few spectators have given the first half to Bentleigh and the second to South, but speaking only for myself, I didn't think it was thet clear cut. Anyway, the longer the game wore on, the happier I was going to be with a draw. As it turned out, another cross from Hatzimouratis from the right ended up creating the winning goal. Renko Van Eeken, unmarked in front of goal, nodded it past the keeper, and we managed to hold on for the final 10 minutes or so for a plucky win.

During the match, I was concerned about the lack of more defensive players available to us to stifle Bentleigh's game plan. This is where Carl Recchia is certainly being missed. Luke Byles came off hurt, so we're awaiting news on the severity of that injury. But three from three to start the season, and just one more away game before we return to Lakeside for the first time this season.

Steve from Broady's under 21s report
On Friday night South Melbourne's under 21s took on Bentleigh Greens in cold conditions at Kingston Heath. South had good memories at this ground from the week before when they beat Southern Stars here in a very one sided affair. Pre-game controversy arose again when South came out for their warm up and Seb Mattei was nowhere to be seen.

Instead a young kid stepped out of the tunnel in a pink goalkeeper shirt believed to be the under 18s South keeper and I can confirm the lad had gloves. South Melbourne in recent years has always had their second choice goalkeeper playing in the under 21s and then sitting on the bench for the seniors. I don't understand why this is different this year.

Why Mattei just sits on the bench for the seniors and does not keep for the 21s Is beyond me. If he is going to put work in front of playing for South he should find another club. This great football club deserves players who would dive on the chance at playing for the mighty blue and white. I hope this situation is sorted out quickly and does not appear in next week's article.The message is simple: play 21s or go Seb!

But on to the football. The game kicked off and South lost the ball immediately the Greens showed their intent, winning a few corners and not giving up possession for large spells. But as we know in football possession means nothing if you don't put the ball in the back of the net. For all the chances Bentleigh had, they just could not make it count and they paid because in the 25th minute the ref spotted a Greens player all over a South player and awarded a penalty to South. Anthony Giannopoulos stepped up to the spot and converted convincingly.

Bentleigh restarted the game with the match proceeding as it was before the goal, with Bentleigh dominating possession and creating all the chances, but they fell into the same hole again in the 38th minute, when once again a Greens player was pulling a South lad's shirt in the area and the ref spotted it again and awarded South another penalty. Once again Anthony Giannopoulos stepped up to the spot and smashed it straight down the middle to give South a 2-0 lead at half time.

In the second half the Greens were still dominating but the game started slowing down and both teams were running out of puff. In the 79th minute Bentleigh had a crack from outside the box and the swerving screamer of a shot had the South keeper beaten all ends up and gave the Greens that little bit of hope for a draw or maybe even a win. But the South lads stood strong for the last ten minutes of the game and run out 2-1 victors.

Next week the lads face Dandy away which will be another good test for South. Another big thing to come out of the game last night was Anthony Giannopoulos unusual dragging at half time, he could've had a hat-trick in the second half but was dragged. Maybe he was injured or maybe there is more to this than meets the eye - we will see how it all plays out over the week, but until next week GET AROUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve from Broady's Canteen Report

This week it was Bentleigh Greens' time to shine in the canteen. After a lot of build up about their souvs I can say that this week they did deliver - nice meat and a good serve of meat in the souv, good salad in the souv. They lost some points with making a souv in a bread roll and a very high price ($9) but overall it was nice. I was loving the help yourself to the garlic sauce set up, I got around that shit. The souv kind of reminded me of the old Bob Jane souv days with the bread roll and nice serving of meat. Overall I gave the Greens canteen a 7/10.

1. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
2. Southern Stars 2/10
3. Green Gully 1/10

Lost and Found
Cripes, a couple of wins and everyone comes out of the woodwork. Saw some faces last night that I hadn't seen for quite some time.

Meet and Greet
It's always awkward meeting people off forums in real life for the first time. People on the internet are not meant to exist outside of that medium.

Chewing Gum
Avoid Wrigley's Vortex brand green apple flavoured gum. It admittedly smells quite tempting, but within a minute becomes incredibly bitter and unpleasant.

Public Transport Tales
An uneventful night on the rails. Got there in good time, got home by midnight. No complaints, no weirdos. Some of our under 21s players decided to hoof it to Cheltenham station instead of waiting for the bus. Hope they made it home alive.

Next Week
Closed doors game away at Dandy Thunder. I had been planning to do the stupid thing and actually attempt to watch the game from outside on the freeway, but I've since changed my mind. My time will be better spent at Altona East, who are playing Ballarat Red Devils next week, and pumping a little of money into the fantastic canteen there. Best souvlakia in Victorian soccer, and it's been too long since I had one. Damn fixturing conflicts.

For the rest of you, there's rumours going around that there may be some sort of live stream provided by the club - I'll keep my ears open for any news on that front and report on it if any details come to hand. Or you could just follow the club's official news sources.

Preview for Round 3, 2013

Artist's conception of a catatonic Kiss of Death.

Sorry folks, no Kiss of Death preview this week. Rumour has it that upon seeing the final criteria for the FFV's implementation for the National Competitions Review (now known as the National Premier League) the Kiss of Death went into a state of catatonic shock. Hopefully by next week the Kiss of Death will have snapped out of it, and we'll be back to business as normal.

If I have time - and with four tutorial classes to teach and post-grad coursework classes starting, I'm the busiest I've ever been, even if by regular people standards it's not really that busy - I'll share my thoughts on the NPL Victoria early next week, though considering the reaction to my limited response on the matter so far, it looks like some people have the impression that at the very least I'm:

1. Very late to the party with regards to the dodginess of athe proposals, and/or
2. Some sort of FFV or FFA or SMFC board lackey that just chooses to go whichever way the wind is blowing.

All of which hurts my very fragile ego, which is in turn attached to my decade long attempt to craft an online persona of being Mr. Cool, Calm, Reasonable and Independent, in order to wash away the uncleanness of my teenage try-hard 'effniks rule Aussie sockah 4eva' internet persona. And yet that dirt will not wash away. Unclean! Unclean! Unclean!

Anyway, for those heading out to Kingston Heath by public transport tonight, there's no scheduled public transport works, so one of the more laborious trips of the season should be slightly easier than last week. The trip home is always a nightmare though. Hope you have friends or a good book to keep you company.

Because I'm a fan of half-arsed efforts, I might as well chip in with some uninformed thoughts on this week's matches, even though I have a dislike for making predictions of this kind.

I'm hoping for a win tonight against Bentleigh, but will be happy with a point. Though I like what I've seen of us so far, we have had these false dawns before. Port should be too strong for a Pascoe Vale side that for both rounds hasn't managed to defeat opponents that have had players sent off. I expect Collingwood to bounce back from last week's loss, and Vishnu help all of us if the Tigers actually win a fourth consecutive match. I'm going to say that last week was an off day for Thunder, but that Richmond aren't beyond getting a result in their game. Last week seemed to see Green Gully return to regularly scheduled programming with their win against Hume, while Oakleigh have their backs to the wall with two losses from two starts, the only team below them being the Thunder who started the season on minus three points. I reckon a draw on that one. Hume should easily dismantle a poor Southern Stars outfit, not that that's meant to be belittling anyone - but so far Stars have looked absolutely pants. For Sunday's game - which South of the Border could be attending, just in case you wanted autographs - another match with teams with perfect records. I think though this is where the Knights run ends, Northcote have apparently looked shit hot so far this season and I expect that to continue.

Cause for concern?

One month on from this post, and still no word on the status of the social club negotiations with the government. This doesn't fill me with confidence.

It's too early for trends, but... - Southern Stars 0 South Melbourne 3

Along with the joy and relief of the win last night - joy for three points and the manner in which of some of that was achieved; relief for not stumbling against this side as we did last year - the acknowledgement that we played against a very poor side must also be taken into consideration. Right from the start, Southern Stars had parked the bus and weren't going to move it. If they could, they probably would have parked their bus at DFO across the road, but such are the petty laws of the game that you restricted to patch of grass about 105 metres long usually not much longer.

They'd done the same against Dandenong Thunder last week, and managed to get a point out of that game. And while for about half an hour it looked like maybe the same fate would befall South, as Stars' goalkeeper and the bounce of the ball conspired to keep the score locked at 0-0. But then Marinos Gasparis' powerful long range shot took a massive deflection, giving the keeper no chance at recovering, and it was 1-0.

At that point, one may have thought that Stars would show some initiative and start playing some soccer, but instead produced more of the same. As a measure of how little Southern Stars troubled the South defence, it took until about the 60th minute for Peter Gavalas to touch the ball last night. Sometimes one is all for the humiliation of an opponent, but at other times even though you want to see your team win and win well, you'd like to see at least some sort of fight from the opposition, to have the feeling that the result was not a fait accompli.

Gasparis' second goal - from what looked like a side footed free kick around a shonky wall - just about iced the game. For whatever reason, South then took the foot off the pedal, and Stars managed to make the odd forward venture, getting close to scoring on perhaps one occasion, but any lingering doubts about the result were put to bed when Shaun Kelly found himself with far too much room at the back post, and scored a lovely scissor/volley into the back of the net.

As much as I spent a fair chunk of last night downplaying the merits of the result, on reflection there were some important things to take out of the game. The high defensive line and manic pressure from the win against Green Gully were there again, but it will be interesting to see how those concepts cope with a team that has the ability to launch quick counter attacks.

Something else to keep in the back of one's mind, is to see how we will cope with falling behind - as well learning to play something else other than the fast paced style. Can we slow it down and still look comfortable? When the game slowed down last night and seemed to be infected by a lack of motivation from both sides, the link up play just didn't have the same fizz and sparkle as when we were going at full steam.

These are the kinds of thoughts of course, given birth by the god of cynicism and the goddess of it's still too early to tell how we'll go this season.

Steve from Broady's Under 21 Match Report

On Saturday night South Melbourne's under 21s took on Southern Stars at Kingston Heath. Coming off their 2-1 loss last week at the hands of Green Gully, the South Melbourne lads started off the game very well, winning several corners early in the first half. South Melbourne looked more and more convincing as the game went on, creating plenty of opportunities for the strikers, but the South Melbourne forwards were unable to convert and the boys went into the sheds at half time 0-0.

South Melbourne started the second half as they did in the first, dominating from the get go and in the 65th minute all the South boys' hard work payed off when Sebit Muon headed home from close range. After South Melbourne took the lead Southern Stars started playing with some more fight, but it didn't last long because in the 71st minute Luis Bulboa scored a cracker for South from long range giving South a 2-0 lead. As the clock wound down Southern Stars looked to have given up and South added to their misery in the 91st minute when Sebit Muon played a beautiful ball to Baggio Yousif to strike home and make the score 3-0 to South Melbourne, and 3-0 it finished to the boys in blue, a well deserved result and a very good bounce back from last week's loss to Green Gully. 

Next week South Melbourne will play Bentleigh Greens away at Kingston Heath, with reports that Trent Rixon might be making his comeback from hip surgery for the under 21s.

Steve from Broady's Canteen Review

This is a segment that will appear every week this season rating and ranking the 12 canteens in the VPL. After not eating at Green Gully last week because of a bad experience a few seasons back with a shit hot dog (which automatically gives Green Gully's canteen a 1/10) I had a kebab at Southern Stars this week and well fuck me, another food tactical disaster with the choice of bread by the Southern Stars canteen men and women. It was some sort of white bread roll that I could compare to say a cheese and bacon roll. The salad in the kebab was OK - the lamb was questionable - it looked like rabbit shit if you know what I mean. The hot food looked standard, so I give the Southern Stars canteen a total of 2/10, very disappointing and a let down from last season's kebab that I had there. Next week it's Bentleigh Greens canteen time to shine. There's a lot of hype about their souv - can they deliver on Friday night when the pressure is on?

1. Southern Stars - 2/10
2. Green Gully 1/10

The Scenic Route
There was track work being undertaken yesterday on the Frankston line, so I decided that I couldn't be bothered changing to a bus at Moorabbin to change to another bus at Cheltenham. Decided to take the Sandringham line out to Hampton, and catch the 828 from there. Took about as long, but you get to see nice scenery as the Sandy train travels along the beach front.

Also had a nice chat with some random who was moving house, talked about such things as racism in society, cultural studies, was sport better in the 70s (OK, that's just poetic licence to play this song), our binge drinking culture, Aboriginal spirituality, the nature of masculinity then and now, and building cars from spare parts in the olden times to go riding around the paddocks of what was then outer Melbourne. His diagnosis was that things for the most part had improved, but that there was still some way to go.

Kingston Heath
The surface was in immaculate condition. Amazing what not being trampled on by a bajillion Hellenic Cup games over the summer can do for a ground.

Around the Grounds
Trundled out to watch Richmond play the Knights on Friday night. It finished 4-1 to the Knights, even though it didn't feel like that sort of game to me - things might have been different had Richmond scored from the spot to make it 2-2 - it was their second failed penalty attempt in as many matches. One Knights fan was sick as a dog on the freeway wing - seemed like one of those cases where he wanted to vomit but nothing would come out. The Knights fans managed to entertain - albeit briefly - with their adaptation of Pink Floyd, chanting 'referee, leave them kids alone' when the referee was trying to defuse a possible melee. A whopping 32 free kicks against the Knights (stat courtesy of Steve from Broady) indicates they will be playing Andrew Marth style this season - which is appropriate since 'Stabba' Marth is coaching them.

Next Week
I wonder how much hype will be built for this game? Another slog out to Kingston Heath, this time to play the free spending Bentleigh Greens, but at least we get these trips out of the way early on in the season. Last year we were in a very similar position, two wins and zero losses, and like last season, one of those wins was against a struggler while another was on a good team.

Last year during round three it all came to pieces though. I'd like to believe there's something different about this team - and I think in the way they link up, and the way they pressure opposing teams, that there is - but we've been here before and capitulated. I know it's easy, especially for me, to play the arch cynic, but it's pretty obvious we're going to find out a lot more about where we stand this year, and where some of our deficiencies may lie, than we have over the previous two matches.

Final Thought
Two from two and still not quite satisfied. It is the South way.

Kiss of Death, Round 2, 2013

I found this in an email I received from the FFA about the upcoming Melbourne Victory vs Liverpool friendly. Talk about trying to educate your customers LOL. Right down the bottom under the ridiculous pricing schedule was this:

Important Notes about Active areas.

Active areas are designed for supporters who are extra passionate and vocal in support of their team. By purchasing in the active areas, you should already be familiar with active support and that standing and prolonged chant participation is mandatory.

In other words, if you are not willing to stand for 90 minutes, and participate in prolonged chanting which is mandatory (mega fucken lol), you are most likely opening yourselves up to abuse, violence, pepper spray, and everything else that comes with being involved in FFA gimmicks. Would love someone from the FFA to answer the following question since we are on the topic of crazy stuff.

When a customer (fan) receives an FFA Ban Notice, does this notice apply to footballing matches Australia wide, or just A-League matches? Because the last thing I want is for the shit that’s not good enough for you, which you have subsequently banned, rocking up to VPL matches trying to be all macho. Just because your shit stinks, doesn’t mean I want mine to. Believe me, my shit smells like roses.

Friday 12th April @ 8.30pm
Oakleigh Cannons vs Port Melbourne Sharks
Oakleigh copped a 3-0 hiding at Northcote, while Port Melbourne were dumped 0-1 at home by Hume. More of the same this weekend for Port Melbourne when they face Oakleigh. Oakleigh will be looking to rebound. The brown tongued lizards from Port will have no one but themselves to blame for this season's shambles. Four games to go before the change of coaching staff down there, with the popstars already apparently forming a bit of a clique. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Port Melbourne 1.

Friday 12th April @ 8.30pm
Pascoe Vale vs Northcote City
Pascoe Vale lost 1-0 to the eight man Knights, while Northcote started with a 3-0 bang at home over Oakleigh. Dear Pascoe Vale. You were given a right royal chance of beating the Knights when they were down to 10, 9 and 8 men. In State 1, you might’ve beaten them. But this is the VPL. Where sometimes even 11 men isn’t enough to beat someone. You learned your lesson the hard and most embarrassing way. Good on the Knights though for persevering and scoring a pearler of a free kick at the death. That is what the VPL is all about. Northcote will be too good for Pascoe. Even with seven men, they would be beatable. Pascoe Vale 0 – Northcote City 4.

Friday 12th April @ 8.30pm
Richmond vs Melbourne Knights
Richmond was unlucky to lose 1-0 to Bentleigh, while the Knights had a 1-0 win against Pascoe Vale. A tough task for Richmond, but an even tougher one for the Knights, who will be without three regulars for this match. I’d like to tip the Knights, but I just can’t based on those red cards last week. I’ll dump the heart and use my head for this one. Richmond 2 – Melbourne Knights 1.

Saturday 13th April @ 6.00pm
Southern Stars vs South Melbourne
After a draw with Dandy last weekend, Southern Stars come up against a very good looking South Melbourne outfit. South Melbourne taught Gully a lesson in defending high up the park, with a 0-3 win last weekend. Southern Stars will be in for a long night if South plays the way it did against Gully. I am expecting them to do just that. I am also expecting Tsolakis to name an unchanged lineup. There is no need to change a winning formula, especially when you go to Gully and beat them convincingly. Standouts from last weekend, were definitely Hatzimouratis, Kearney, and RVE. But alas, the whole team was exceptional. Rare for a South outfit of the last six years, but I really couldn’t pick a weakness in the win. We defended high for a change, challenged pretty much every ball, were strong in the back, Gavalas was on his game, and restricted Gully's free passing football. Bumper crowd expected. Southern Stars 0 – South Melbourne 5.

Editor's note: For those foolhardy enough to make the trip out there on public transport, it will be an even more laborious affair than usual, as there are significant works taking place on the Frankston line that weekend. You have been warned.

Saturday 13th April @ 8.30pm
Dandenong Thunder vs Bentleigh Victory
The first of the lockouts for Dandy. No fans will be permitted entry from either team. Not that it matters for Bentleigh, they have none! Dandenong Thunder drew 0-0 at Southern Stars last weekend, and will be looking at this weekend to get off the bottom of the table and gain back those three points deducted at the tribunal. Bentleigh Victory as they have now been baptised, can stick their Victory rejects where the sun don’t shine. Dandenong Thunder 3 – Bentleigh Victory 0.

Saturday 13th April @ 8.30pm
Hume City vs Green Gully Cavaliers
Hume had a big 1-0 win at Port Melbourne, while Green Gully was spanked by South Melbourne 0-3. Gully looks ordinary, more ordinary than usual at this time of the season. Rumblings already apparently. Hume by all reports is doing enough to get the job done. Too hard to pick, so I’m going with a draw. Hume City 1 – Green Gully 1.

At Last! Finally! Επιτέλος! Green Gully 0 South Melbourne 3

Today sees a couple of firsts for this blog. Both of these are due to our regular real life sideman Steve from Broady, who has finally put his money where his mouth is and chipped in with his first written contribution - a match report from the under 21s - and also provided some stats work as well. We hope he continues to contribute on a continuing basis, and that our audience enjoys the extra variety and information.

In the end, it was almost anti-climactic. The standard implosion by South sides at Green Gully just didn't arrive. There were a couple of jittery moments, where Peter Gavalas was a little hesitant, but one can perhaps read too much into those incidents.

Indeed, there were several moments today where I thought, 'this is going too well'. Gully looked lackluster throughout most of the game, but we'd stuffed it up so many times before. Renco Van Eeken had his first half penalty saved onto the post, we'd missed a few sitters and half chances - and even though the much maligned Brad Norton had given us a 1-0 lead to take into half time with his flicked header, of course one felt that Gully would surely fire up in the second half.

But they scarcely tested our South boys. There was a period when we were 2-0 up, and we started to sit back a bit deeper, where Gully managed to get forward a bit more, and put in some crosses, win a few corners. But most of these were cleared with relative ease, and eventually we went 3-0 up, and even the most cynical and damaged of South fans had to acknowledge that there was no way back for the home team - and then attention switched to wanting a clean sheet.

There were no bad players. Alan Kearney seemed to get the vote of a few fans as best on ground, and certainly we controlled the middle of the field for most of the match. Dimi Hatzimouratis, playing out of apparent necessity in the unfamiliar position of right back, also played well. The forward set up seemed to click as well - indeed, it was one of those performances where you wondered, how and where are we going to fit in the players that missed out today? There were no Tsiaras, Rixon, Matthews, Fernando, Recchia (who is of course out for the season) - when we start racking up a few suspensions and injuries, it's good to know there are some capable players waiting in the wings.

Even Brad Norton thinks Brad Norton scoring is messed up. Photo: Cindy Nitsos

Soccer's one of those things that people love to over think. Today we saw that it does not necessarily have to be so. Restrict the room the opposition has. Move the ball forward quickly. Put a few more crosses in. It was a continuation of the sort of form we saw during the pre-season, albeit with some nicer finishing. Without wanting to get carried away - it's one win, in round one of a twenty two round season - there were good signs, and if we play like that most weeks, we'll do OK this season.


Steve from Broady's under 21 match report
South Melbourne's under 21s kicked their season off today away at Green Gully Reserve. There was some pre-game controversy with South Melbourne's second choice goalkeeper Sebastian Mattei, who was reportedly expected to start for the under 21s, not rocking up - this caught the coaches off guard and forced them to use a left winger in goals with no gloves which I thought was an absolute disgrace.



Not bad for a first try by Steve, except that this game started at 1:00.



The first 15 minuets were very sloppy with both teams turning over the ball 10+ times each. In the 18th minute South Melbourne received a free kick on the edge of the area and Baggio Yousif stepped up and placed it beautifully in the top left corner. South were in control for the rest of the first half and went in at half time 1-0 up. Green Gully come out in the second half immediately with some fire in the belly, picking up some corners early in the second half. Thankfully at the start of the second half the South Melbourne goalie had been given some gloves. In the 69th minute South Melbourne's defence was finally breached with a Gully defender rising above everyone and heading home from a corner. As the clock counted down Green Gully made one last charge in the hope of getting a win. The Gully winger ripped around three defenders and fired home in the last seconds to give Gully a 2-1 win.

South Melbourne fought bravely today and I personally can not wait to see their next game away to Southern Stars. To the bloke who played in goals today for us, well done mate, you did an excellent job considering you are an outfield player.

Crowd Watch
Looks like Gully made a bit of an effort to get a few of their juniors out to watch the game, so the attendance was actually respectable for a Gully game. Someone said the crowd got up to around 1000, but that's probably being very generous.

Canteen Capers
An apple and a couple of bowls of corn flakes doesn't last too long, and I was momentarily tempted into perhaps buying something from the worst canteen in the league - but after taking the food poisoning experiences of others into account (and remembering my own horrible non-soccer related food poisoning experience of a few years ago), I decided to hold off. A victory for self-discipline or self-preservation?

Next Week
Southern Stars away on Saturday, at Kingston Heath. A dogged defensive effort was apparently the Stars' main weapon in their 0-0 draw with reigning champions Dandenong Thunder tonight, so expect more of the same next week. Dimi Tsiaras' will be available again after serving the remainder of his suspension. There'll be no Tom Matthews for about five more weeks, after he reportedly fell off a ladder at work and broke his arm.

Final Thought
I enjoyed that. Here's hoping it's not another false dawn like last year.

I Don't Care, You Don't Care - Kiss of Death, Round 1, 2013

About fucken time. Now to preview the real football action happening this weekend.

Saturday 6th April @ Green Gully Reserve @ 3pm
Green Gully Cavaliers vs South Melbourne
South haven't won there in like 20 years. Sounds really good, but if you take out the NSL days then it's actually not that many years. Please someone give me the real figure not this mumbo jumbo coming out of the media team at South. All I know about Gully is that Roddy (Rodrigo) Vargas is suspended until the 14th April so will definitely miss this one. South on the other hand have only Dimi Tsiaras suspended. It's good to be playing them round one. Gully are always slow starters, whereas South always start off kinda well. However, anything but a win here would be seen as a disaster and the doors might as well be closed down at Lakeside. Gus has a full squad to choose from. I definitely know who shouldn't be in the starting eleven, let's hope Gus has the same idea. Win this one and we are set, lose at Gully, and expect hell. Green Gully Cavaliers 1 - South Melbourne 3.

Saturday 6th April @ Kingston Heath @ 6pm
Southern Stars vs Dandenong Thunder
Both teams copped a pounding in the pre-season with player departures. Thats all i know. Dandy thought they would take on the FFV at the FFA, and copped a shellacking. A game of no interest to myself, yet I will still attend because I have no life. Southern Stars 2 - Dandenong Thunder 2.

How many mountzes will the Kiss of Death be dealing out this week?

Sunday 7th April @ John Cain Memorial Reserve @ 3pm
Northcote City vs Oakleigh Cannons
The Greek derby. The one that everyone wants Northcote to win, except for a handful of Oakleigh fans. Northcote has looked the goods in the pre-season. Oakleigh has been very, very quiet. Just like Elmer Fudd hunting rabbits. Dunno, don't care, but I will be there signing autographs. Northcote City 2 - Oakleigh Cannons 0.

Sunday 7th April @ Somers St @ 3pm
Melbourne Knights vs Pascoe Vale
Expect the Knights to be top of the table after round one. Pascoe Vale will go down as quickly as they came up. The Knights have recruited well, but don't ask me who, because it's a surprise. Pascoe Vale hasn't recruited shit. They have kept pretty much their entire State League 1 side. As much as I think that's great and promoted teams should do it, I don't want you in the VPL. Nothing personal, but I have a side wager on, and you staying up will cost me a few bottles. So work with me here. Melbourne Knights 6 - Pascoe Vale 0.

Sunday 7th April @ Kingston Heath @ 5pm
Bentleigh Greens v Richmond FC
Bentleigh. Big shamwow! Well done. Recruited well apparently, and got rid of all your youth. Bravo, bravo. I have nothing to say to you lot. You aren't even worthy of a review. Richmond on the other hand are looking OK. From what my sources tell me, they have recruited well, but need time. Who knows. Bentleigh Greens 0 - Richmond 2.

Sunday 7th April @ JL Murphy Reserve @ 6.30pm
Port Melbourne Sharks v Hume City
Port Melbourne. The first coaching vacancy will be here in five weeks. That's all the review they are worthy of. Hume City. Quiet, yet always a handful. Port Melbourne Sharks 0 - Hume City 5.

The worst season preview ever - 2013 edition

Finally, the new season is just about here. Let's get stuck in.

On-field, the expectations will of course be high. That's what South fans expect, and finishing inside the top three, with the double chance that comes with that, is the only acceptable outcome in the home and away season. For better or worse, there's no more Joe Montemurro on the sidelines for the first time in three years - and now it's all down to Gus Tsolakis and his crew. During this pre-season, however much you can take out of that, we've moved the ball forward more quickly, and haven't been reliant on two or three chances to score all our goals - even if our finishing has been poor this so far.

Defensively, the English trio of Matthews, Byles and Kelly, provided they stick together for most of the season, should provide a more solid defensive framework than last year. With Kiwi Rhodri Payne seemingly finally out of favour, the left-back slot will be a hotly contested position, though there don't appear to be any obvious replacements yet. Will much maligned utility Brad Norton get the gig? Will Phil Petreski be shifted out of his midfield roles to fill the gap? Or will they pull a rabbit out of the hat and give the passionate/temperamental Anthony Giannopoulos a gig?

Since waking up finally when he got a back pass against Port (all praise to mighty Baal), Peter Gavalas has actually looked hungry. He got benched against I think it was the Bergers and instead of a doing a casual warm down he was doing sit ups and push ups like a bit of a maniac. Rumour has it that likely second choice Seb Mattei doesn't give a shit about football anymore, but since it seemed like we had one of those last year as a first choice, who'd notice the difference this year if it turned out the same?

As usual we have more midfielders than you can poke a stick at, and how we fit them all into a starting eleven will be very interesting. With Carl Recchia done for the year, you'd expect Dimi Tsiaras to have the defensive mid slot sown up. Alan Kearney will hopefully add some much needed toughness to the middle, but the attacking midfield roles and wing positions are still all up for grabs, with most of the contenders not completely grabbing the bull by the horns just yet.

Marinos Gasparis looks fitter than he's ever been, but will that help him to overcome his chronic inconsistency? Joe Keenan has been given a fair bit of time this pre-season to show his mettle, but the Keenan of old, who was able to slide past players, slot lovely curved goals and put in good crosses hasn't been spotted for some time. Dimi Hatzimouratis's 2012 season was cut down by injury, and while he hasn't done anything remarkable this past month, there are still those who rate him highly

There are also several young players - among them James Karvellis and Andrew Cartanos - who got game time last year and during the pre-season -, who may be called upon if the above players don't perform.

And what of Fernando De Moraes? He didn't have one of his best seasons last year, and even though his work rate did go up to unprecedented levels for him, that's not what he's there for. A role off the bench role may be what's forthcoming, but will he bes satisfied by that?

There's also the question of Andy Vlahos, who could be used either forward or in midfield. While surely coming to the end of his career, he seems content with coming off the bench, and he was useful in that role last season. His greatest strength may lie in his several years of coaching experience, perhaps adding to the tactical arsenal available to Tsolakis.

Further upfield, Renco Van Eeken, and the Queensland pairing of Tyson Holmes and Rhys Meredith have looked fast and dangerous, without putting anyone other state league two Malvern City to the sword. I can't wait to see how they fit Trent Rixon into this line up. Hell, I can't wait to see Trent's reaction when his first touch in an attacking move isn't 15 metres in our own half.

Let's Digress and Have a Look at the Other Teams
Green Gully

What disaster will happen to us there this year?

Port Melbourne, Bentleigh Greens, Oakleigh Cannons (combined preview)


Richmond
I don't care about their management switch, or which players they've lost or brought in. Like Michael Lynch, all I want to know is, will the food still be as good?

Hume City
Back home again, no need for a trip out to Epping.

Melbourne Knights
Our very own Gus Tsolakis reckons people should keep an eye out for them this year.

Dandenong Thunder

Thanks to the FFV (and for me on two fronts!), this is where we'll be watching this game from this year.

Pascoe Vale
Another team going for the night game angle.

Southern Stars
What now after the end of the Irish Free State? I suppose there'll be some prurient interest in seeing in how Rama is getting along, a bit less so for Jason Ricciuti.

Northcote
Should not be underestimated.

As usual there will also be the myriad off-field shenanigans.
The social club's progress - or rather, lack of it - will be felt more and more as the season wears on. What was meant to be one of the linchpins of our return has yet to materialise, and the dispute with the government about the social club redevelopment fund could well drag on. What would be good would be to see some information from the club on this issue, and though there have been inferences that it is forthcoming,

The end of the year also sees elections for the boards of SMFC and SMH. Will there be any rival tickets this time around? We've not had an actual election for so long. There's been much dissatisfaction from among certain former board members, but will they make a move? And if they do, what will their platform be? Who else will be on their ticket?

Another question to ponder is what role will the expanded suffrage will have in determining our future. Now that voting rights have been opened up to a whole lot more people, will there be increased interest in the behind the scenes working of the club? There were signs at the AGM that outside the ranks of the old social club clique, there were people who were willing to turn up and participate or at least be witness to the nitty gritty of our club's planning.

There's also the question of the National Competitions Review. There are those out there who are claiming that it won't come in next year - witness the splurging by some state league 1 clubs for a promotion spot that probably doesn't exist - and yet you also have certain VPL clubs spending cash like it's going out of fashion for what exactly?

Assuming that the NCR does go ahead next season, how will we be forced to adjust? Will the rumoured 280 point cap - instead of 200 - come in? If it does, will it be permanent, or phased down over subsequent seasons? Will the FFV allow us to keep charging our $3200 a year?

Of course, there is the ongoing issue of the re-conciliation efforts with SMWFC. Progress seems interminably slow on this front, and yet a women's unit will be an essential component of the NCR. Does SMWFC even want re-conciliation, or just co-operation for the sake of the precinct? If they want to remain a social/community outfit, what are our options after that? Is there demand for $3200 coaching for junior girls' teams?

And how much more South for the A-League nonsense will we see this year? Every time I think this issue is going to finally go away for good, it comes back with a bit of vengeance. What will be the next phase in this consuming obsession?

Hint: Another Melbourne Heart is doomed or moving to Geelong is already gathering steam.

As For The Blog

Expect more of the usual sweet nourishing (Krusty Brand Imitation) gruel from myself: match reports where the actual game is almost incidental, more calls to give 'Gia' a run, rushed experiments in stylistic alternatives to our normal writing (thinking about Our Man in Kandahar style things - I'm halfway through Egon Kisch's Australian Landfall at the moment), and the usual South of the Border Cheap Eats guide - we've already lost our original and most loved fall-back place Es Teler '77 on Swanston, now that they've moved somewhere else and re-branded themselves as some sort of Indo-Malay place instead of just plain old Indo.

Maybe even a a retool of the blog's look, because I'm not convinced that we've got close to plumbing the depths of hideous web design that only looks semi-decent on a seven ( I think) year old Benq notebook.

There will also be the usual off the wall observations from the Kiss of Death that has earned this blog its cult audience of movers and shakers, and boy are we looking forward to its contributions before the KOD's usual late season slide into 'too much busy farken, can you do it for me farken' status.

Of course if anyone else (lol, bahahahaha) wants to write for us, just drop us a note. Some more comments would be nice, someone apart from the ever reliable Savvas Tzionis and whichever board lackeys decided to add their two cents of propaganda. Also, maybe this year we'll actually get to see Steve from Broady pitch in with his long promised regular comments or even some stats or something.

I have no idea how much time I'm going to lose for this project now that we're working(!) three days a week and are also expected to do PhD level research and writing, but if my honours thesis year and half was (or more like three months of actual half-arsed effort) is anything to go by, I don't think you'll notice any difference, except for the soccer fiction reviews I'll have teed up for the off-season at the end of the year.

Final Thoughts
I've already seen Oakleigh Harismidis at two separate matches at Chaplin Reserve, once with a knock off Brisbane Bears scarf, and once talking to the canteen ladies telling them how valuable they are to that organisation. It's going to be hard top off that spectacle, but the VPL hasn't disappointed before. Chances are another farcical loss at Gully this Saturday will do the trick.

Easy Come, Easy Go

After being an accredited media person in 2009 (as a research assistant) and in 2011 and 2012 (for my work on this here project), our application for a media pass in 2013 has been rejected.

Apparently, while our work is 'enjoyable' - their word, not mine - it does not merit a media pass.

We will still receive a season pass via our work for the FFV's historical committee, but that won't get South of the Border into the round four match against the Thunder, which will of course be behind closed doors.

So at this stage, it looks like we'll be joining the rest of great unwashed who will be watching this game from the supposed vantage point on the freeway. Such is life.

Friendly against Northcote tomorrow

At Lakeside, at 7:30.

Draw made for fourth round of Dockerty Cup

And wouldn't you know it, the only all VPL clash is between South and Oakleigh. No need to get too excited yet though, the tie is scheduled for May.

Friendly against Altona Magic tomorrow

3:00 PM afternoon kick off, at Lakeside. Once again, match chat in the comments section after the game.

Humourous take on South Melbourne Coast Mariners

Not sure of this image's origin, but full marks to whoever came up with this.

Where the hell did that come from?

South Melbourne Mariners? Central Coast Lakers?  South East Central Coast Melbourne Magic Spectres?

Before we get stuck into this, here's the offending article from the World Game site, followed by commentary from several related sources.

A majority of the Central Coast Mariners board has agreed to sell the club to a Melbourne-based consortium, consisting of three South Melbourne directors, for $4 million. 

The World Game understands the deal was agreed on Wednesday, with a 10 percent deposit due on Thursday. 

It was reported in The Australian that a member of the Mariners board flew to Melbourne on Wednesday to meet with an interested party, while a Russia-based investor is still keen to pump $15 million into the club and its valuable land assets. 

It is believed key Mariners investors, chairman Peter Turnbull, Lyall Gorman and Mike Charlesworth, who own a combined 64 percent stake in the club, had been stalling with a view to wooing the Russian group. 

The new arrangement would see the Mariners relocate up to four of their home matches - those perceived to draw the lowest gate - to Melbourne. 

The news is set to come as a relief to the embattled playing group, which has been embroiled in a dispute with the club over unpaid wages. The existing Mariners board met with representatives of Professional Footballers Australia (PFA) on Thursday afternoon in an attempt to resolve the matter. 

Football Federation Australia (FFA) is yet to ratify the agreement but is believed to be satisfied with the nature of the deal. 

Mariners coach Graham Arnold praised the attitude of his players in a torrid week of speculation that culminated in reports they were prepared to take strike action if their wage demands were not met. 

“It’s been a tough week for the players,” Arnold said. “But they are a great bunch of boys and the leadership group has done a great job of keeping them all together.”
“Today is the first day that I have seen them because I gave them a few days off, but morale is high.” 

“Before training the Peter Turnbull and Mike Charlesworth had a chat to them over loudspeaker on the phone to inform them what’s going on and I think that’s relaxed a lot of the players.” 

“On the football side of it the players have a job to do. I have a job to do as coach and we’ve just got to get on with things. We’ve got a big game against Adelaide this weekend and we’ll make sure we’re ready for it.” 

Arnold said he has confidence in the club’s capacity to rectify its ownership and financial issues. 

“There has to be a resolution and I am pretty sure that it will be sorted out quite quickly,” he said. 

“There’s no hiding the fact Peter Turnbull has publicly asked before for new investment in the ownership. It’s probably come to the stage now where something has to happen.”

Ray Gatt, chief soccer writer from the Sydney Morning Herald

Can tell you with absolute assurance that the SBS story is totally wrong
— Ray Gatt (@Gatty54) March 21, 2013

So to start off with, he's claimed Mike Charlesworth will take over the Mariners, but then goes on to say:

@deanrosario lol.I've been wrong many times and will happen again! If I am now then so be it.at least I've been at forefront of this story
— Ray Gatt (@Gatty54) March 21, 2013

Professional Footballers Association
They've also released a statement on the matter.

PFA MEDIA RELEASE

Sydney: Thursday 21 March 2013

The playing group of the Central Coast Mariners has instructed the PFA to express, in the strongest possible terms, their frustration and disappointment surrounding the negotiations of change of ownership at the club. 

Despite been assured on a number of occasions that payment of their salaries would be imminent, these promises have failed to materialise placing the players under enormous financial pressure and hardship. In some cases the players have been unable to pay for their families groceries.

The players have acted in good faith however there is a limit to their goodwill. The players have agreed not to take any industrial action at this time but the PFA does not rule out this possibility in the coming weeks.

President Simon Colosimo said “Once again this matter shows the precarious nature of being a professional footballer in Australia and ironically comes at a time when the PFA is seeking to negotiate greater contract security with FFA as part of our new CBA”.

Chairman John Poulakakis said “The players have suffered enough. Once again they are being forced to subsidize poor governance and management of the game. The players’ basic entitlements have been trampled on. Whatever is creating this delay must be addressed immediately. It’s time for certainty and the FFA and the club’s Directors to do the right thing by the players and the fans.”

Central Coast's official point of view

We can state that moving matches from Gosford to Melbourne is not in our plans. #aleague
— CentralCoastMariners (@CCMariners) March 21, 2013

And then you have Ray Gatt again 

Mariners deal done. Papers to be signed off tomorrow. Mike Charlesworth now controlling owner. Club in good hands 

— Ray Gatt (@Gatty54) March 21, 2013

What we're going to take a guess at
That a South takeover or relocation was to be used or is going to be used, or has been used as a way of forcing a resolution to the longstanding issues with regards the ownership of Central Coast Mariners. Somebody somewhere at FFA headquarters got fed up with 'the Russians are coming' rumours, and this is how this situation has been resolved.

The best part of all of this
That so many people were caught out this, I suppose rather like our entry into the Singapore Cup a few years back, albeit here on a much funnier scale.

My ultimate position, for future reference
The only acceptable solution for any theoretical South Melbourne A-League bid, is

• a member run and owned club
• called South Melbourne
• playing in blue and white
• with all games in Melbourne
• with approval granted for entry by the members

Bring anything less than that to the table, and you can forget having my vote. No Pirates, no Lakers, no mergers, half-arsed takeovers

Whatever the end result of this is
That was the most fun I've had over a three hour period for a long time. Aussie soccer delivers the goods again, and long may it continue to do so.

The time has come...

...for South Melbourne Heart!

Now this is a Facebook page that could surely do with a bit more publicity.

Previously, we here at South of the Border have covered the 'South should merge/takeover with Heart' phenomenon only sparingly, and with the utmost reluctance. Most notably, there was the moment of comic relief at the end of the 2012 AGM blog entry, from January 2013. More substantially, there was this article from December last year.

Still, most of the talk on this issue is refers to possible takeover plans rather than a merger, so it's nice to see someone put up the merger point of view, if only for a bit of variety. On their page they've put up videos from both teams, tried to come up with a home strip - the Paraguay national team style thing on the right hand side, with hooped socks no less - and one person, I assume the page's creator, tried to post a comment on the official South Facebook page in order to advocate for this idea. Sadly, it appears that comment was taken down by one of the humourless drones who monitor that page.

And even though we disagree with this idea on principle, we'll be keeping an eye on seeing how much support - legitimate or otherwise - this campaign is able to muster up.

PS.
And then, just as I hit submit and schedule this article for a later date, someone comes up with this. Good grief. How long until this nonsense ends?

PPS.
And then the Facebook page's creator puts up a thread on the Heart forum, which quickly gets locked. Need him to post a comment here, lol.

Friendly against Bergers tonight

Tonight, Lakeside,, 7:30. Even when they get relegated, we just can't get away from them. As usual with the pre-season guff, wrap up will be in the comments section.

2012 Season Preview Memorial Entry

Clatter, crash, clack!
Racket, bang, thump!
Rattle, clang, crack, thud, whack, bam!

Who could forget our article from last year on Michael Lynch's imaginary tour of the kitchens of the Victorian Premier League? Well not me, and certainly not Ian Syson nor Lynch himself. Here's a recent twitter exchange.

@micklynch_age @tweetwhiteline @gatty54 @ecpkoko be time for your vpl preview Michael?
— Ian Syson (@IanSyson) March 18, 2013

@iansyson my guide to multi racial Australia's cuisine you mean??
— Michael Lynch (@MickLynch_Age) March 18, 2013

Anyway, even if you had a look at that blog entry last year, take a look at it again - I added a couple of 'year on' observations, one much sadder than the other. You can decide for yourselves which one fits that bill.

Social club work not progressing

Club must be upfront with its supporters

One of the most anticipated events of this season for our fans was to be the opening of the redeveloped social club. Of course, this redevelopment would not have taken place without the approximately $900,000 grant obtained in our deal with the previous Labor state government to give up exclusive access to Lakeside.

Along with the 40 year lease and the annual stipend guaranteeing a minimum income, the redevelopment was at the cornerstone of the future of the club - a chance to right the wrongs of previous administrations and use our facilities to become self-sufficient.

Earlier this year, at the AGM, the board indicated that it had been in dispute with the current Coalition state government over the funds allocated to the redevelopment. It was said that they were not willing to give the money - the inference being that they were most unpleased with our deal.

It is my understanding that the club has been seeking legal counsel on the matter. However, of equal importance to my mind is that they are open and honest on the matter with the club's supporters.

Yes, there will be a backlash from the usual suspects - but the board may find that they might gain some sympathy and support by displaying some openness rather than pretending that no one will notice. Because come May 11th, the date of our first home game, people will notice. And their reaction then may not be so pleasant.

South of the Border hopes that the club will take the initiative in this matter, and not revert to longstanding past practice of keeping everything to itself.

Friendly against Port tomorrow

A chance for South fans to see the favourites for the 2013 VPL title on their own turf, in a game that probably won't provide the embarrasment of our meetings over the previous two seasons - we're hopefully saving that up for the season proper. Game is on at 7:30PM tomorrow at Port Melbourne. Be there and be square.

Nando going overseas?

Former South championship midfielder David Clarkson released this curious tweet on his Twitter page last week

Good luck to @smfc @nandojogado who leaves tomorrow to play in China for Zhenzhen FC.

When I asked if this was futsal or outdoor, Clarkson replied with 'outdoor', which would probably mean Shenzhen Ruby, a second division side, which is puzzling in all sorts of ways.

Another source though seemed to indicate that it was a futsal trip - possibly an AFC futsal club championship. Wait and see if anything comes out of it.

Friendly against Pascoe Vale on Saturday

Our next friendly will be against Pascoe Vale at 3:00 this Saturday, on Altona Magic's side of Paisley Park. We might well get a better idea of where we'll be at this season. But then again, we might not.

Bit of a shame to be missing out on a Dockerty Cup tie somewhere in the burbs, but South always comes first, doesn't it?

Fire Up For Friendly Action! (and other news)

South finally step out of the cotton wool for pre-season 2013. First up, a friendly against Malvern City this Wednesday, at Lakeside, at 7:30.

There are reports that recent re-re-acquisition Carl Recchia has done his knee. Not good news if true.

Fernando has changed his number from 15 to 8. Dimi Hatzimouratis has taken up Fernando's old number.

Young defender Matko Budimir has been offered a senior contract.

Marinos Gasparis is reportedly in terrific shape.

And 1960s multiple championship player George Papadopoulos has passed away.

I went and watched North Sunshine lose 2-1 to Sunshine George Cross in the first round of the Dockerty Cup at Chaplin Reserve. Kinnie and the last minutes of the match were the highlights.

And today I went and saw the Friendship Cup between Melbourne Croatia and Sydney Croatia. Not much of a game to be honest (even with four goals), but I did get to see Glen Trifiro play more forward passes in this match than he did for the whole of last season.

Also, some schmo got here after looking up 'south melbourne a-league 2013'. Do you know something that we perhaps don't know? Something that would turn everything we think we know about Australian soccer on its head?

Or do you perhaps think that we know something that we're not sharing? Something so ludicrously amazing to do with your query that, if I revealed it on these pages, eyeballs would literally explode?

Well, I don't. But if you know something, please share! We don't care if its ludicrous.

Joe Gorman on David Hill's attempted shoving of the NSL into the 'mainstream'

This article is, I think, a well researched and balanced look back at the mid 1990s attempt at de-ethnicising Australian soccer. A bit Sydney centric, but very interesting - and good to see someone analysing the multicultural factors more thoroughly then I'm used to seeing.

2013 memberships released

Here's the advertisement. Looks very slick and professional. Sneaky addition of a 'Hellas' banner in there. Nioe emphasis on the blue and white colours, (in Colin Mochrie voice) if you know what I mean.



Of course the very interesting thing for me is the change in who gets voting rights and access. Previously, it was only social club members - aka South Gold and above -that got access to the South Melbourne Hellas (owner/controlling body of everything) AGM.

And when the FFV brought in their mandatory changes to club constitutions, allowing parents and participants more access and rights at their clubs - I suppose as part of the Crawford reforms - we were told that it would not have much of an effect on us.

But that appears not be the case. Not that I have an issue with it, but certainly others more paranoid than me certainly do, and it wsill be interesting to see how this plays out. After all, this is an election year!

Anyway, the other thing to consider then is, if a regular season pass holder now gets access to both AGMs, why should anyone bother putting in an extra 60 or whatever it is dollars to go for the social club membership?

It's something I thought about for all of about five minutes. I decided to go 'Gold' again for the extra merchandise, the $25 voucher (which is there to encourage me to buy more stuff!) and 10% off social club food and drink, but will completely understand if people start dropping out of that membership category.

Let's not forget though, that the main benefit of taking up any of the membership options is that all the money goes back into the club, and not to anyone else.

South pull out of Bouzis Cup?

They certainly seemed to be no-shows at today's match day, so I'm assuming they've pulled out of the entire thing. A bit of a pity for the three of us that made the trip out there, but what can you do except blame everyone responsible for this mess, especially those who informed no one

Still, we got to see Altona East draw 0-0 with a youthful Oakleigh side. East probably should have taken all the points, but scoring goals has been their achilles heel for a while now.

Also got to see Malvern against Essendon United. United took the lead, but eventually Malvern's dominance of posession told, with them winning 2-1.

The highlight of the day was heading over to Song Huong on Alfrieda Street afterwards for their fantastic (and cheap!) rice vermicelli with braised chicken, lemongrass and chili, and opening up my schedule to do something else with my time. Maybe go see a cup game next week.

First pre-season matches this weekend

Against Westvale on Saturday, against Old Camberwell on Sunday. Check the results/fixture tab for details, but don't blame us if something goes awry. Reports are that we'll be using youthful sides anyway.

Dutch striker signed + and confirmation of three outs

We've signed a new Dutch striker, one Renco Van Eeken. Apparently here to study, he was an off the street acquisition. He seems to have played in the third and fourth tiers of Dutch football, which as far as I can tell are mostly amateur. The brains trust are very excited about this player. Here's hoping he proves them right. The video footage available of him is promising, though most of us will reserve judgement until he starts performing for us. I still miss Jasper Valentijn.



On the way out are Steve Burton, Jason Saldaris and Glen Trifiro. I liked Burton, his finishing and strength were very good, but it doesn't appear to have worked out for some reason. I thought Saldaris was very unlucky not to get more of a go last season, especially considering Peter Gavalas' nightmare run. Glen Trifiro just never really got going in his year long South stint. Reports from some Sydney United people suggest that he's looking good during their pre-season. South of the Border wishes all three players well in their future footballing careers.

FFA announces Claytons Second Division

It's the second division you have when you're not having second division.

Example of a squad list, under possible NCR guidelines.
I saw this last year at an FFV information evening. Click to enlarge,

There was a bit of excitement caused on the forums - and nowhere else really - about the FFA launching the findings of their National Competitions Review. As far as I'm concerned, there was no need for that excitement, but people in offices have got to lower their productivity somehow.

FFA Cup coming? It's been coming for years now, not that I see it as a priority. Promotion and relegation? In a few years, maybe, but we'll make it as hard as possible for A-League teams to drop and for state league teams to go up.

Again, no surprise and from me, no complaints. I don't care what the 'purists' have to say, but just because it may be 'traditional' in other countries, it doesn't mean it would work here.

The other thing to get some people in a flutter was stuff that was released last year, namely, the player points cap system to be used for the revamped state leagues. It got some people hot under the collar. 'What will happen to 42 year olds! What about club loyalty! What about our juniors!'

Some Sydney Olympic fans should seriously learn how to read through a document before predicting the end of the world. Maybe they should also take a leaf out of  Matthew 24:36

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only

The time to get more excited and panicky for South fans is when the FFV eventually gets around to releasing the criteria for its adaptation of the NCR. At the South AGM back on the Australia Day long weekend, we were told the FFV would release their criteria within a couple of weeks. We're still waiting.

First pre-season games this weekend

Westvale on Saturday, Old Camberwell on Sunday. For details, see the results/fixtures tab. Don't blame this blog if something changes though. Rumour also has it we'll be playing youthful sides, but who knows for sure?

Bourgeois Anthropology - Middle Class Handwringing Edition

It's funny, you live in the universe, but you never do these things until someone comes to visit
Still waiting for South action, and thus I made my debut appearances at the water polo and international cricket in the one weekend. My old Perth Glory supporting mate Chris Egan was in town last week. So that meant taking a chance that the world hadn't succumbed to nuclear apocalypse since the end of the last VPL season, and actually going outside and doing things. I managed to live to tell the tale - but only just. So think of this entry as a variation of last year's tennis escapade.

Water Polo at Melbourne Sports and Aquatic Centre
The UWA Torpedoes (men's and women's teams) were in town to take on the Victoria Tigers. I'm not quite sure what person thought that a tiger would be the best mascot for an aquatic sports team. The Tigers won both matches, the men's game a little more comfortably then the women's, but neither match was a blowout.

Anyway, it's quite a nice little set up they have going there at MSAC. Shot clocks, sponsor boards, scoreboard. I could have done without the continuous commentary though. I wouldn't have minded elaboration on scorers and ejections, but the rest seemed superfluous. They had a match program, and in retrospect I should have picked one up. Gold coin donation seemed fair. The team and player intros included bizarre clapping ceremony.

As for the sport of water polo itself, I'm sure it's a hell of a lot of fun to play for the participants, but like my opinion of field hockey, I reckon it's just another inferior version of soccer. There's a very limited range of scoring methods, and limited ways of moving the ball. Still, the fast breaks and bounced shots were exciting to watch, the constant minor fouls not so much.

Perhaps it would have been more exciting with some flares and ethnic tension. But then again, wouldn't everything?

I also learned that former Fremantle Dockers coach Gerard Neesham - and his water polo background - is the progenitor of flooding in Australian rules football. There's something for Steven Alomes to follow up on.

Paisley Park Prattle
Trundled over to see Altona East's seniors and ressies in their first friendlies for the season. Ressie lost to Melbourne University 9-0, so some work to do there. The seniors won 2 or 3 nil, I wasn't paying that much attention. Found out how Andrew Nabbout got the call up to Melbourne Victory ahead of several other possible. No disrespect to Nabbout, but it appears there's serious issues with talent identification in Australian soccer.

Prior To Yesterday
My only experiences of watching cricket live in the flesh - apart from seeing the odd ball bowled while my train was stopped was at South Kensington station on a summer Saturday - was at some regional junior representative match, and one day's play of Carlton's fourths against Footscray fourths at Tony Dodemaide Oval. So even though I know rules, histories, players and all the other hoopla, this experience was new to me.

Embracing Your Inner Billboard
Mike Hussey cardboard sheets sponsored by a bank. A tea break on field dance session sponsored by a brewer. Faux watermelon hats sponsored by a telecommunications company. And best of all, said telco handing out free clip on radios which were able to access either the ABC's and Channel Nine's commentary. Which was hilarious considering that outside the ground another variation of said radio was being sold at $20 a pop.

Future NFL Hall of Famers
Commiserations to New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who almost made it to the end of the match without getting kicked out. After having thrown an American football three times from the bottom of M10 - including one which smashed into the signage on the second deck - he wandered back to his seat as if nothing had happened. A little bit later on, it looked like he'd been escorted out, only to return a few minutes later.

As blokes were being thrown out left, right and centre, our group was wondering how the hell Brady was still in the venue. Later on during the evening, he moved around to the bottom of section M8 or M9 and threw the ball again, after posing with the ball for about half a minute. Eventually, his luck ran out, somewhat amazingly after he had taken off his jersey and tried to go incognito. It took until 10:15 for the Old Bill to finally get rid of him for good - perhaps they were waiting for Brady's mate Brian Urlacher to get out of the picture.

Fat Kid Messenger Services
One of the two off-field highlights was the use of a fat kid for the purposes of picking up chicks. Some blokes from the front row sent this kid to pass on a message to an attractive woman about 20 rows back. Kid became an instant legend.

Footy's Almost Back!
The roll call of footy jumpers I saw.

• 1x St Kilda
• 1x Footscray
• 1x Collingwood, heading back towards Flinders Street before the match.
• 1x Geelong, with matching shorts.
• 1x Essendon - as soon as he appeared in M11, the 'Essendon are drug cheats' chant started.
• 1x Sydney, dressed as Warwick Capper, including shorts which left nothing to the imagination.

Kostume Kapers
For some reason the marketing gurus at Cricket Australia thought it would be a good idea to encourage people to dress up in costumes, because goodness knows it's not the like actual game matters in any way. There were some good efforts, but where I was sitting, it seemed like an extra reason to get drunk for most of those people. Some of the more notable efforts in our vicinity included:

• Warwick Capper - see above.
• Spiderman - when not drinking, he spent a good portion of the match performing an incredibly annoying dance, trying ever so hard to get on camera. He succeeded.
• A wizard, but not Gandalf or Harry Potter related.
• About 5-6 blokes dressed in Jamaican bobsled outfits ala the film Cool Runnings, but sadly without anyone in the role of John Candy.
• Some bloke wearing a pretty crap wedding dress.
• Wonder Woman - perhaps unusually (considering the usual demographic of nerd dress up shenanigans), she was actually a woman.
• Bananas in Pyjamas
• The bloke in an obviously very hot and sweaty panda suit, on whose face one could read a ton of regret about wearing that suit on such a warm day.

Sneaky Sound System
Still going, still crap.

Pitch Invasions
Just the one individual. Tried to take on security, did not get far.

Strippers!

One bloke stripped down to nothing. He got turfed out. Later on, one bloke thought he'd be a bit of smartarse, and started having a go at two of the female coppers as they were going back up the stairs, by beginning a slow and sleazy striptease routine. Unfortunately for him, the most veteran police offer on duty came up from behind and grabbed his arms as he was about to lose his jacket - and the beauty of it was that everyone saw it coming but him. Even I had to laugh at that.

Western Australians
Along with Chris, I was with several other Perth Glory fans at this match. I hope no one mistook me for a Western Australian while they went off their nut every time a Western Australian player did anything. They were quite excited by Adam Voges' maiden international century. I liked Johnson Charles' equivalent effort a little better, but at that stage not many people were watching.

The Actual Match
In the sections we were in, the on field contest seemed incidental. You read newspaper reports about the bad behaviour, but it's worth getting a look at it first hand. As a newbie from a soccer background, several things struck me as significant.

I never realised how boring this game is.

Firstly, the way the rowdy patrons actually put some effort into getting thrown out was fascinating, like they were actually aiming for that result. They drink a lot and drink quickly (one group enjoyed smashing the empty plastic cups against each other's faces). The attempt to curtail the drinking culture by not opening the bars (or food) outlets on the bottom of the lower deck did not work at all. One bloke near me (whose mates had already been thrown out) threw an empty Pringles cylinder, and then followed it up with an empty Coke bottle. He tried to feign ignorance but it was no use, and he didn't put up much of a fight when he got spotted and asked to leave. I wonder if he and others like him will get charged the $563 on the spot fine for throwing items.

The second thing was how little fight most people - including bystanders - put up in trying to avoid being evicted. If that happened in a soccer crowd, I can easily imagine other people quickly becoming involved out of a sense of camaraderie. Here, while not dobbing in their fellow supporters, most seemed perfectly willing to let them be evicted. Indeed the well known chant 'you're going home in the back of a divvy van' seemed to undermine the notion that someone tried to put forward yesterday, that the performance of disobedience was an indicator of Australians' natural distrust and dislike of authority.

Thirdly, the different reactions of the police and security. The police seemed to laugh a lot of the incidents off. The security seemed to take more of an interest in trying to control matters, though that may have been because they tended to be targeted more by the antics of the fans. As the night wore on, so did the frequency of people getting booted out, with scarcely a ten minute period going by without one or more people being escorted out.

I can see why certain people want to get rid of this format of the game. Eight hours of meaningless play, low crowds, attracting mostly people who see it as an opportunity to get tanked. But it was good to get to a game. Unfortunately, cricket is a game in the wrong era. It's not suited to a culture that lacks patience and has no time for it anyway. Attempts to convince its constituents otherwise, by speeding up the game and taking every semblance of nuance out of it, just seem pathetic to me. They might as well convert to baseball.

Pepe in Papua

Want to know what happened to former assistant coach Joe Montemurro? Well, he's ended up in Papua New Guinea. Also good to know that the National Soccer League lives on.

NEW kids on the block, FC Port Moresby, WNB Tavur FC and NC Civil Works Oro FC will be out to impress their supporters when they debut in the 2013 Telikom National Soccer League tomorrow.

Aspiring newcomer, FC Port Moresby will face a baptism of fire against reigning champions, Hekari United FC, while Oro will take on neighbouring Milne Bay franchise, Eastern Star FC, in their opening match.

Under Italian coach Joe Montemurro, FC Port Moresby have been preparing well since making their intention known to take part in the semi-professional competition.

Known as Pepe, Montemurro was extremely impressed with the talent of his charges, which include eight national reps plus prominent emerging youth players who have won age group international caps.

“This blend of youth and experience of PNG’s finest home-grown players is a coach’s dream,” he said.

“FC Port Moresby players come from all four regions of PNG and we are excited about building a fan base that extends nationwide.”

On the prospect of facing Hekari first up, Pepe said “Every team wants to play against the champions to truly test themselves.”

“This is a fantastic introduction to the 2013 NSL season, of course, the premiers will start as favourites but I am confident that we can promise Port Moresby residents that your team is here to play.”

Senior player Reginald Davani said his squad had been preparing well for the opening match.

The club has secured the services of former Hekari United player Neil Hans, who will lead the side against his former teammates.

Hekari coach Jerry Allen could not say much about his chances

The results of very novice hoarding

Bit of a slow time of year, isn't it? Not much going on for this blog to report on. So let's go back in time a bit, and relive some highs, lows and mundane parts of South history.

While doing some cleaning, I came across some old copies of Neos Kosmos English Weekly from 2001 and 2002. I don't know why I was collecting them, and I'd forgotten I'd even had them.

By contrast, I remembered that I had a half dozen copies of the AFL's Football Record. Goodness knows why. Biggest waste of money, but those were the days before you could get them all online.


You can rest assured that I'm no hoarder - it was just some stuff that had gone from drawer to shoe box to slightly less worn shoe box and so forth for about a decade or so. Then again, I have to share this place with four other people and their crap, so proper hoarding is not so much of an option.

There was other stuff, too, such as:

• Reform of Soccer Australia, which of course we all thought would never happen.
• Ian Knop and the state federations trying to justify the player levy increase to bail out Soccer Australia.
• Something about Ned Zelic wanting to play for Australia again.
• Soccer Australia frantically trying to get the National Soccer League finals onto television.

But none of that had any specific mentions of South. There were only four articles in that lot to do with South at all, and for the most part it's routine stuff. Thanks to my bro for scanning, cropping etc.

The first article is about one time South VPL player Evan Karavitis, when he was just a fresh faced youngster at the Victorian Institute of Sport, looking to make it big in the world of soccer. He got called up for one of the national underage teams, along with a bunch of other hopefuls including then South junior Stefan Piorkowski. Kristian Sarkies is there as well. Some bloke called Postecoglou was in charge of things. According to some basic research, the bloke couldn't coach his way out of box of corn flakes.

The second article is from when we 'miraculously' stormed into the finals of the 2001/02 season after being just awful for about half of it. Much harder these days to have these kind of occurrences when more than half the teams in our national competition qualify for the finals.

The third article is about Paul Trimboli looking to stay at South. Also has some bits about Steve Blair getting involved with the administrative side of the club.

The final article in this collection is about South's first home game of the 2002/03 season, and the difficulties Zeljko Susa had in getting a clearance from his club in Croatia, even though they no longer wanted him.