Is everyone over it already? - Port Melbourne 0 South Melbourne 1

Arriving at Port straight from work in the city, I expected not much from the experience and just about got it. The pomegranate trees outside the ground? Basically empty, and what fruit there was wasn't quite ready yet. Tons of figs though, but like the fruit on my neighbour's tree, not close to ripe. And I had my tote bag ready to go and everything.

I got there early enough to watch most of the under 23s game. Not many South people in attendance at the time, which sounds like self-fulfilling prophecy (or self-actualised punchline). Not many in attendance for the senior match either. It's the kind of turnout you might expect in the dog days of winter, not in the first week of February. So it goes.

I saw my dad's patrioti in the canteen, though he almost didn't recognise me. A frequent traveller to Greece, they asked him there if he still saw my dad and myself anywhere. "I told them that I still see the son at Hellas games, but that the father was in the other patrida now." Quite. Chicken souv was fine, touch salty, but that's probably because they want you to buy a beer to counter the salt. Didn't get sucked into that one.

I'll reserve any withering judgements on the quality of the curtain raiser, because it'd be easy to overdo the Simpsons gags. Besides which, it may have just been an off night for everyone. Still, the Port coach may have had a point about his charges not listening to the instruction to keep the ball on the ground in midfield, especially with how windy it was, which was quite.

The wind, blowing to the Plummer Street end, didn't let up all night. The scoreboard read 12 degrees, but that detail probably hasn't changed since they installed the scoreboard. The Williamstown Road end was out of bounds, because of work to the secondary fields. It all had the potential to feel a bit less than quite the real deal as a setting, except Port's players came out with the kung fu, and the officials let it go. If there was any doubt that the NPLV MMA was back, the first fifteen minutes or so put paid to that.

Of course, if the officials let not just one bad tackles go unpunished, but several, then shit will eventually hit the fan. It is one of my biggest gripes that yellow and red cards are not dished out from the get go in matches. "Oh, but you'll ruin the game if you do that". No, players who have played the game for 15-20 years, and know very well what a bad tackle is and put in a few early ones because they assume (usually correctly) that they'll get away with it, ruin the game. Too bad for Port that they ran through their quota of bad tackles at such an insane pace, that they were down to men before twenty minutes had elapsed. The less said about the attempts by George Mells and Lucas Inglese to suck the ref 

We were on top anyway, not just because of the wind, or because we were playing against a Port team that had so few recognisable names, but also because we were sort of playing the game smart. Being a wing heavy, and set piece heavy team, it was quickly deduced that the wind, and Port's massive backline (including an ex-junior in Maker Maker), made regular corner taking useless, so we went to the short corners.

"But Paul, you hate short corners!". Wrong. Short corners are not the enemy, only poorly conceived, poorly designed, and poorly executed short corners are the enemy. Last Friday, we actually did good from them, including setting up a three on one situation from one such corner, which ended up with Max Mikkola scoring the decisive goal. 

After that, it all became a bit of a blur because it was all a bit familiar. That, and the game being largely up the other end in the second half to where I was, and a good chunk of the game being played in twilight, made my experience less than ideal. So, more of the same, then.

Next game
Monday night home against the Knights. The first of three consecutive games of Monday Madness.

Major sponsor
If you're wondering where the new major sponsor was on our shirt, I was told it'll be on there next week.

If you're wondering where the old major sponsor went... unfortunately you're going have to do your own work on that one. 

Danish / Doorstop watch
Danish got ten minutes, but didn't seem to impress anyone. Doorstop got a start in the A-League, but got subbed out after 55 minutes.

Second division news, barely

The rest of you start thinking up a name for this NSD. I don't know. Something along the lines of, say, Australian Championship - only more proactive. https://t.co/ndp81no2Lk pic.twitter.com/netAMZ4eaS

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) February 12, 2025

Final thought 
We've become so decrepit, not one of our people seemed to notice that John Markovski was coaching Port.

No stress whatsoever - Port Melbourne 0 South Melbourne 4

Waited like a chump for the 234 at the usual stop at Banana Alley, for buses that would never arrive; at least not until after 7pm, apparently. I figured this out  eventually with a a fellow South fan by the name of Sam, after what should have been two scheduled buses failed to appear. A bit more signage would have helped. Maybe not having to exit the app to get to the website. Maybe a lot of things.

Walked down to the next best available stop for said bus - five minutes walk down the road - hoping that some bus would turn up in time. That wasn't happening. Started thinking might be worth turning around and going home. Contemplated a cab, but thought better of it. Tried calling a mate who lived nearby to watch it at their place, but no answer. Bus eventually shows up, gets stuck in traffic around the back end of the casino, all very predictable.

Got to the ground with about ten minutes having elapsed, but no score. Who knows if anything major or interesting had happened before I got there. but within minutes it was 2-0 to us, as utterly shithouse set-piece defending from the home side gave us a very solid foundation. After that, it all becomes a bit of a blur. We scored a couple more goals, gossiped a bit about the state leagues, about work, enjoyed some banter with the Port goalkeeper who was having one of those days, and added three points to the tally.

Insofar as I paid any attention to the game, it was to observe that while he's copped a lot of not completely undeserved stick over the past few seasons (including from your correspondent), Marcus Schroen is having a pretty good year. Playing a different role to what we're used to seeing from him, more than a few times this year he's been the one to win the ball or create the turnover which leads to a goal, which was never previously a strong part of his game. 

So, that's nice I suppose. Brad Norton up to 295 matches by count. Oakleigh lost to Altona Magic last week, and drew with Avondale last night, which helps us get one step closer to a top two spot. One more win will do it.

Next game
Altona Magic away on Saturday night.

Is there a curtain raiser this week?
Yes! The under 21s match takes place before the senior fixture.

National Second Division guff
So Melbourne Knights are taking their ball and going home. Apparently Football Australia is being intransigent with its demands. The NSD is on the verge of collapse before a ball has been kicked. For their part, FA put out something very vague about intending to do things next year as planned, kinda. The worst part of this, apart from having to re-join the anti-NSD faction (because it was never going to work, and you're kidding yourself if you ever thought otherwise), is having to emotionally recommit to NPL Victoria. More of the same! And not even Preston coming up to add some media vulture interest. 

Around the grounds
Slightly perverse
Weren't you supposed to be at work, or school? OK, if you are a northern hemispherean, or a retiree, or otherwise on holidays, I get it. But what was everyone else doing at Melbourne Rectangular Stadium on a 12:30pm on a Friday? Sure, I was also there, and I do have a job of sorts which I don't get paid for if I decide not to turn up for whatever reason. It's like when I first moved to Sunshine eight years ago (and even now, really), and I'm at the main shops on Hampshire Road on a weekday, and there's a full car park and people everywhere, and it's the same question - don't you people have somewhere else to be? Anyway, Canada vs Nigeria was a strange contest, not so much for what happened on the field, but what happened off it. It's not that Australians are averse to supporting the underdog, but their wilful support of the vintage Green Gully VPL tackling (no colour pun intended) Nigerians was wild. Poor nice little Canada. You win one Olympic gold medal, and everyone turns against you so they can support the heel team. Good game, though, thorough entertainment during that 65 odd minutes Nigeria weren't stacking everyone behind the ball, reminiscent of a certain team which doesn't wear green.

The world got itself in a big damn hurry
Finished work on Monday about three o'clock. Too early for the game, but too late to go home and come back into town. So I walked slowly down William Street to eventually have a quiet meal somewhere, and figure out how to kill two and a bit hours afterwards. Ended up instead helping some guy who'd just finished a six-year prison stint find the nearest branch of the Commonwealth Bank. No, it's not what you think. Probably. Chatting with him, of course he notices the things that have changed about the city and the world as a whole in the time he'd been locked up, things that seemed normal to those of us on the outside. Well, I got him to where he needed to get to, and then I got called back to work, which ended up going all the way to six o'clock. Damn judge. Managed to make it from Flagstaff to my seat at the stadium with five minutes to spare. Germany vs Morocco. Well, Morocco to their credit didn't try to sit back, and looked good in patches and moments, but never quite good enough. Thus there were lots of goals, and so many VAR moments. And this is the thing: somewhat like our ex-con friend, I get disoriented whenever I dip into a tournament every few years after a diet made up exclusively of non-VAR leagues. So now it seems refs and assistants are not even calling blatantly obvious fouls and especially offsides, because there's a machine somewhere which will let them know. 

But here's the thing - most of the crowd doesn't seem to care. So me, in my bad position and with my even more decrepit eyesight, I can still tell (or feel that I can tell) that a goal is not going to stand several seconds in advance. So what looks to me like a situation that should be called offside instantly, the sequence of play instead continues, a goal is scored, the crowd goes wild, and I just wait in my seat. I can't get excited, or upset, or anxious, or even interested, because my instincts for what a game should look like and how it should be officiated are stuck in the past. I've got tickets to four more games, and it just doesn't feel right. The way we - or rather, they - watch the game has completely changed. They've turned it into rugby league.

Final thought
Who knows how many actually pay to watch a game in NPL Victoria these days, but there is this: Port Melbourne issue numbered tickets specific to individual matches. They also break them down by adult and concession categories; no cheapo stubs for them. Last year, rocking up early to the equivalent fixture, and having forgotten my media pass, I was concession ticket no. 90. This year, arriving ten minutes late, and no longer bothering to apply for a media pass because clearly I am less than half-arsing this thing these days, I was adult ticket no. 30. Makes you think.

Ode to Joy - South Melbourne 5 Port Melbourne 2

Look, one utterly brilliant performance, one magical night of attacking football, should not make up for some of the utter dross we've had to put up with (and yes, I know we're in second place). I've been duped by grand romantic gestures like this before. How about that Gully game from earlier in the season? Or the 3-2 win away at Bentleigh last year? My brain tells me to be wary, that we'll be back to the usual way too defensive stance very soon; but my heart wants to do its own thing, to believe that I can love this team, that it has changed its ways.

(In some respects it also reminds me of our win over Oakleigh at home in 2007, and not just because of the score line - but also because of the same kind of vibe that night, including the cherry on top final goal - that we could do some good things if we wanted to. Then the season started falling apart again a couple of weeks later.)

After the AGM the other night, a board member said to me that he hadn't seen me leave a game smiling like that for a long time. Think about that - we finished top of the table last year, and have lost only one game in the league so far this season - but still, it didn't make me as happy as it should have. Sure, I can be a hard taskmaster and an all round curmudgeon. But I think what I felt is what a lot of you have felt - that while it was good to win, that at some point the whole enterprise should also aim to be joyful. 

(something, something, the game is about glory; something, something, it is about playing with style)

People work all week; the players train. I imagine a good chunk of our players also work, maybe at jobs that are psychologically fulfilling or perhaps not, but probably unlikely to provide the opportunity of being able to express themselves individually and collectively (on an admittedly small scale in this case), in a situation where they can bring joy to themselves as individuals and as a collective, and to those of us watching them. Yes, we take it seriously. But it's also a game. If the players don't have the freedom to express themselves within that context, if we as fans aren't provided the opportunity to be entertained, then doesn't it become just another version of work? And that's me saying that as person who kinda likes their job.

In a previous life I was a hack academic, and it's probably unwise to retrace your steps and go back to what you wrote years ago; but I can perhaps at least look back at some of my old work and see who I quoted. Ken Inglis said "by studying a people’s ceremonies of leisure one may get closer to understanding them", which makes immediate sense to me. If you turn leisure into work, is it still leisure? Inevitable as any form of organised sport may be to being cast as part of Brohm's "prison of measured time", are we not as least partly obligated to try and not make it as bad as he said it was? What about Pieper's rejection of the view that leisure should be a reward for work; that a Sunday or lunch break should not merely be reduced to a device by which someone can be called upon to work once more.

But I'll stop here before I start quoting Proudhon. The performance from both sides on Monday was a credit to the game of soccer. Both teams sought goals, it's just that one was better at seeking them than the other. When Port's Dor Jok scored a cracker to bring it back to 4-2, South fans applauded the goal. Sure it's easy to do that when you have a two goal buffer, but it's no crime to admire excellence, even if it comes from your opponent. When Andy Brennan stormed up the field and smashed home the final goal of the game, in retro 2015 Brennan style, it near on brought the house down. That's as it should be. 

I understand that not every game is going to be like that. And I understand why not every game can be like that; I don't expect the team to score five goals every week. But I do have the expectation that we should look like we want to score that many every week. Not just because we are South Melbourne (though why not have that as a reason), but also because scoring goals is fun. The intent to move the ball with purpose was evident all night; players were also willing to run with the ball and create space for teammates. How good to see Riak working his arse off, but with actual help from his teammates. How good to see the fullbacks repeatedly get up the field. How good to see every midfielder looking to receive the ball, or to win it back from the opposition. How good in general not to see the team (especially Lirim) camped on its own 18 yard box when it's not needed.

How good is it when people see something so good, that they can't wait to come back? That was my favourite part of the night. People seemed genuinely excited by what they saw. There was no feeling of "oh, we were lucky to win that game". No, the feedback was we deserved to win that game, and that we could've scored more goals, and not just from our usual set piece routines. The long throw and corner goals aren't the problem. They were never the problem. They're not the problem for other teams when they score from those situations. The problem was that we were seemingly intent on creating nothing else. So, yes, two long throw goals on Monday night, but also three goals from open play, from counters, from winning the ball in midfield, from pressing Port up the field, from the full backs getting up the ground and putting good crosses in. And scarcely a player on the field for us that I could criticise.

(and how close did Morgan Evans look to putting Brad Norton out of a job?)

Some were quick to attribute this performance to Esteban Quintas being forced into watching the game from the stands, thanks to receiving a third yellow card during the course of this season thus far. I think that's unfair. He still trains the team, he still picks the team, and his mere absence from the touchline shouldn't negate all the work he puts in. It does help when you get most of your players available again from various absences. It helps when you play against a team that plays open, passing football, which makes them vulnerable in certain ways that other teams are not. Indeed, it's probably no accident that our best two performances in 2023 have been against Gully and Port, two teams with not the best of defenses, and who also like to attack and knock the ball around.

But something was different. There were passes and moves that had not been seen much this season. There was a hunger in the side all across the field, and not just desperation on our own 18 yard box. Who knows what switch was flicked, why it all clicked into place the way that it did, and whether we'll get to see more of it. But please, more of it, because it gives me joy, which is the whole point of this endeavour.

Next game
Altona Magic at home on Sunday afternoon. I am looking forward to it.

Is there a curtain raiser this week?
Yes. The senior women take on Alamein, kickoff at 1:30PM

Room for improvement
Would have been even better if we could have bought a drink outside the social club.

Our other senior team
I had not seen much of the women's team this year, and what I had seen hadn't filled me with much optimism. It all looked a bit clunky. But I had a free afternoon last Saturday, and for whatever reason their game against Box Hill United had been moved to McIvor Reserve, not a long drive for your correspondent. I was wondering whether there would be any food, and as I was driving to the ground I went past Edwards Reserve, where the Melbourne City (Argentinian variant) reserves were in action, and thought about stopping there for a moment, to see what their canteen had to offer.

But I drove on, and saw a decent enough turnout at McIvor Reserve, and a functioning canteen. Not a great souv, mind you, but passable under the circumstances of being hungry. I'd checked earlier to see if the women's under 19s were playing the curtain raiser, and they weren't, so I didn't get to the ground too early, only to find out upon arrival that the men's 21s team had just finished their game. 

The ground was in excellent condition, though the grassy areas around the perimeter could do with a good mow. Also, it's possible that because it was just the women playing, but the lack of scaffolding and /or an appropriate elevated position to film and commentate the match from was not a good look. Credit to Joey Lynch doing a professional job at ground level while staring into the sun for a couple of hours.

I probably should have brought a hat instead of a beanie, and possibly applied some sunscreen because it was a lot warmer than I expected. Or maybe I should have just stayed in the shade. Anyway, it was a cracking performance from the senior women, who dominated proceedings up until they scored midway through the second half, and then let Box Hill fight their way to the end; the visitors probably should have equalised, but that's what goal line clearances are for. Before all that, we were being scuppered by a huge amount of offside calls.

But late fade-out aside, I was pleased and pleasantly surprised with how the women played - it was smooth, attacking, attractive football, and the only thing that annoyed me about is that I only wished that the men's team could do something similar. Wish granted!

More room for improvement
There was an ice cream truck at Yarraville. If we can't get beers outside at Lakeside, can we at least get a Mr Whippy van to turn up? Or bring back the loukoumades!

Final thought
Still buzzing.

Goodbye Harry, goodbye hope - Port Melbourne 2 South Melbourne 1

Thank goodness we've got the week off, otherwise this crap would have come out after the next game.

It starts off bad

One of those days, weeks, years. Got to the ground early, hoping to see the 21s do whatever it is they do. No dice: Port did the thing where they scheduled the nominal reserves game for after senior game. So stuck in the Port social club listening to the end of the Pies' game on the radio, watching the last five minutes or so of Lions vs Hume, and admiring Port's new electronic scoreboard, which is finally up. It has room for the scores, a running match clock, and perhaps most surprisingly - and most useful for NPL winter nights - a temperature gauge. 

But much as we all like to laud any improvements to our suburban grounds, the scoreboard was a bit of a bust. The clock is hard to read (small black text in a yellow box), the temperature gauge doesn't update itself, and the scoreline at the end of the game sucked. To be fair, that last bit was mostly our fault, as we continued to struggle to create chances outside the usual long-throw and corner methods. And we didn't even get that many corners. 

Well we got one long throw goal - I think that's about nine of them this season - but apart from that, looked second best for most of the game, at least during those parts that I could see the game. SS Anderson Reserve seems to get darker every year. The benches are in near total darkness, and a black clad Esteban Quintas was able to scurry through the back half of the field almost unnoticed by anyone who wasn't directly behind the Williamstown Road goal. Hopefully the fact that the ground will be a Women's World Cup training venue next year will draw out some improvements to the venue.

Taking the "National" out of National Premier Leagues

I could complain more about this loss, but it was cold, and besides which, what was the ultimate prize on hand anyway? Finishing first? Yeah, I suppose that would be nice, but what's the prize for finishing first anyway? Oh, that's right, finishing first gets you into the NPL national playoff series, with the chance of getting straight into the Australia Cup round of 32. Looking into the matter in the week or two before, a few South fans seemed to notice that there was nothing in the Football Victoria or Football Australia competition calendars indicating dates for the post-season tournament run from 2013-2019, and thuse the question got asked, and eventually answered as per this Peter Filopoulos tweet; with the answer being there's apparently no longer an NPL national playoffs series.

(let's also take a moment to marvel somewhat at Filopoulos' comment on the tournament not having been in the calendar since 2019, as if there might not be some obvious reason why that was the case)

Quite what the "National" part of National Premier Leagues stands for anymore is anyone's guess. At any rate, while I'm disappointed that it's not happening for selfish South related reasons, let's not pretend that it was a particularly popular tournament while it was around. People like to point to occasional carnivalesque NSW grand final day crowds, and the equally "event oriented" midweek Australia Cup turnouts as proof of what a national second division could achieve... and yet I tend to look to the NPL national playoffs as a much more realistic sense of the kinds of interest that would be generated by a national second division. Hype low, interest minimal, outlook bleak.

And then it gets worse

So finishing on top now means diddly squat, except for some skerrick of morale I suppose. But we've got a top two spot sewn up, which means we only have to win two more games - as long as they're not out next two games - to be crowned champions. That's the dream, anyway, and I use dream in the sense of fanciful, because according to a good chunk of our online natterers, we're basically done, because one of our three most important players is gone. There's the goalkeeper, there's the long throw guy, and then there's the guy up front who a lot of people hated, but who nevertheless became so integral to our game plane over the past three years (whatever was completed of them), that who knows what the team will look like in his absence.

Midweek, out of nowhere, and to the dismay of everyone, the club announced that Harrison Sawyer had departed the club effective immediately to join an Indian Super League club. Still don't know which one (doesn't matter really), or for how much (probably diddly squat). Fair play to Sawyer. Players coming down from Brisbane to play in Melbourne aren't coming here for the climate. Some lucky few get into the A-League, and some might even get across the sea. Sawyer had been a professional in Asia before, so it must be pleasing for him to get back into full-time football.

For us though, on the eve of finals, this is near enough to a disaster. The game plane revolved so much around Sawyer, that fans spent most of the season what we'd do if he got injured, as he did last season. Other wondered why we didn't even try and sign a forward back-up; but then again, if the game plan is based around a super-tall centre-forward who can run all day and pressure defenders, I'm not sure where else the club would have found one. The good thing I suppose, if one can find a silver lining in this situation, is that we have a solid month before we play our first final to try and adapt to a new game style. The only other genuine striker we have is Alun Webb, the complete opposite in style from Sawyer, except for his workrate.

Whatever the more gung-ho approach was earlier in the season - high pressing, numbers forward, with occasionally reckless numbers forward leaving our defenders exposed - it's basically gone. I can't remember when we last saw it, and I can't even say that it was around long enough to say that it was fun while it lasted. Yes, you've got to grind out some wins here and there over the course of a home and away season, and this is still the (N)PL Victoria we're talking about, so don't expect miracles in terms of style, even if you think that we should be doing better than what we are.

And thinking we could be doing than what we are is very bad according to some people, because there's a table, we're on top of it. I can see their point. 

Next game

It's Dockerty Cup final week, so there's no South senior men's action this weekend. We're back next weekend at home against Dandenong City. The kickoff time for this match has been brought forward to 5:45PM, one assumes so that the under 21s can finally play at Lakeside this year, and hopefully clinch their title on home soil. The women's curtain raiser match against Heidelberg has also been brought forward an hour, to 3:00PM

In the mean time, our senior women are playing in their cup final on Sunday  - ie, tomorrow - out at Broadmeadows, against Calder United. 

Final thought

What a marvellous feeling eating an affordable, rather straight-forward, more than passable souvlaki. Revelatory in its ordinariness. 

Forgot to add a title - South Melbourne 3 Port Melbourne 0

All gripes about poor crowds and cruddy scheduling seem to miss a crucial point - and that point is that South Melbourne Hellas has reached its nursing home stage. Our best years are behind us, the food is sometimes iffy, but most importantly, our nearest and dearest only come to visit sporadically. A handful of times a year is probably too much. A celebration (read: grand final) or Christmas (read: opening game), sure, that might get the relatives to come around and visit. 

Most of the time though, there's a million and one excuses about why people don't come anymore, all of which are an attempt to avoid saying the bleeding obvious - you're old, and no-one likes you. The club's children and grandchildren are basically ingrates who occasionally visit out of a latent sense of filial piety, and it doesn't really matter if it's Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, there's almost always something better to do.

Now having said that, and without actually doing anything resembling a count, there were about 100 more people there than I would have expected, even if this game was played on a Sunday. They got to see another ridiculous match in this ridiculous run. Sure, last year's opening 12 or so games were ridiculous, too - remember how we were somehow on top of the table despite genuinely not being very good? - but this year is something else.

2022 has so far been the season where we have been pretty good for about 15-30 minutes each game, pretty ordinary for the rest of it, and where that has somehow managed to be enough to be well clear on top of the league. This includes gradually losing players to various injuries, which now includes the aging Brad Norton, the perennially injured Josh Wallen, the apparently hurt himself why trying to do a scissor at training Andy Brennan, and our favourite utility Perry Lambropoulos. Also Marcus Schroen was out.

You'd think we were ripe for the picking, but Port did it its best to throw this game away in the first ten minutes, and just about succeeded. Harry Sawyer hit the post, then Port tried to Nuna its way out of defence and that was 1-0. 2-0 was two minutes later, when someone from the back line hit the best long diagonal pass they will ever achieve, and Alun Webb ran through the middle of the too high Port defence to score. At some point Max Mikkola threw a huge bomb to Sawyer, who only had to nod the ball down into the back of the net.

The next 60 odd minutes were then pretty much what we've come to expect. South had the lead, and we did our best to invite the opposition to eat into that lead, to no avail. Port had ample opportunity to score, but could not. Sometimes it deadset looked like we were letting them walk through to Javier Diaz Lopez. More of the same included Mikkola not finishing a game, and Jai Ingham not playing a complete either, this time coming on as a sub again.

Still, top of the league, so enjoy it. I am. Even the burger was more than tolerable this week, though they could ease off the ridiculous amount of chips provided. Which might also mean that they wouldn't run out of chips so fast, but goodness knows how they run out of chips anyway. Also, running out of gas for the drinks, also not a good look. 

Party like it's 1969

The best bit about the game - apart from nonsense chants - was that if you weren't at the game, then you missed all the good action. You see, despite having their cameras and commentary in place, someone at Football Victoria or Cluch scheduled the stream for Sunday instead of Saturday, meaning that viewers at home did not see the majority of the game, and certainly not the best part which was the first ten minutes. It was a bit old fashioned, really - even at the ground, you actually had to pay attention, because there was no NPL TV replay function either. Should have handed out complementary flat caps at the entrance.

Other things

You may or may not have seen the Knights vs Oakleigh game abandoned after 20 odd minutes because of unplayable conditions. I went to the Knights FB page to see people lining up into the "they should have/should not have played" debate, and instead could see only tons of posts by irate gamblers, and people trying to sell tickets to the eventual replay.

These people have made reading Facebook NPL comments sections impossible. No amount of moderation and deletions and key word and phrase shadow-banning can keep ahead of this scourge. Why would any normal human being want to engage meaningfully on these pages looking for discussion or information when it's full of this crap?

So our club, and I suppose a few other clubs, are in that nursing home stage, and the only people making an effort to talk with us are grifters and conmen. Fantastic. As Knights president Pave Jusup said, we should get rid of Facebook and go back to forums. At least you knew that the idiots who populated bulletin boards cared about the local scene enough to tailor their vitriol and trolling to local tastes and customs. 

The other thing which happened. Following on from last week's brief discussion about commentators not being up to speed with the rules around certain states of play, I asked the question on Twitter about whether at NPL commentary induction (if there was such a thing), whether there was actually anything about correctly identifying the way rules are actually applied, as opposed to how people think they are or should be applied. I only got the one response, in a private message, basically saying  "what induction, lol" and that, no, there was no coverage about how to deal with that aspect of a match.

So, maybe something for the comms team at Football Victoria to consider. Or not.

Next game

Dandenong City away on Saturday afternoon/evening. I doubt that I will be there, but I will hopefully be catching up with the fixture via a working stream.

Final thought

You see, my wife, she has been most vocal on the subject of the second division."Where is the second division? When are you going to get the second division? Why aren't you getting the second division now?" And so on.

Drifting toward the void - South Melbourne 0 Port Melbourne 1

The email from Football Victoria came in at about 5:21 on Friday evening. It said that FV just wanted to clarify that while venues were closed to crowds for the resumption of games in NPL Victoria, media would be allowed in, though it would be best to check with the host club first. Well, ordinarily I would've jumped at the opportunity to head to a South game, but alas! I had made other plans! By which I mean, it didn't seem right to leave loved ones in the comparative (and not really that inconvenient) lurch at such short notice.

Also, given the lack of due notice that accredited media would be allowed in, there was just no real time to make an official application of my intention to attend. I mean, there kinda was, especially if I wanted to back channel things with my South insider people, but wouldn't that just reek of "don't you know who I am" antics, and I'm clearly not about that. Usually.

So instead I decided to do (more or less) what many of you would have done on the night, and watched this game from the comfort of a loungeroom in suburbia (in my case, on YouTube on my Xbox One); after watching Argiro Barbarigou with my mum, of course.

Fair to say, and I know it's obvious and cliched, but when it comes to watching South Melbourne Hellas,  that compared to being there in person, streaming just ain't it. The quality of the camerawork is good, the commentators for our game were good, and the production values were good (sans the persistent lack of replays). But it's not soccer as I think it should be.

And that's not to say that being there on Friday night would have been some transcendent experience, because it wouldn't have been. Closed door games suck whether you're there or not. I know, I've been to one, and while it's preferable to not being there, it's still a less than ideal experience. What I'm trying to say is, that under normal circumstances, you'd prefer to be at a game - even one with a horrendously low attendance - as long people have the choice of attending or not attending.

Competitive, organised football at a level where spectators are part of the equation, is meant to be a social and civic affair.  Furthermore, it doesn't matter if anyone shows up or not (well it does, but humour me for a moment for the sake of the argument I'm going to try and make), and whether those that do show up show anything like being interested or amused or entertained by the spectacle. Being part of a collective experience that's entirely based on intermittent digital interactions with people during spectacle doesn't quite do it for me. 

Watching a stream together, in a shared space, also isn't ideal, but it can have its charms. And it's not like I don't watch my fair share of Collingwood matches on television, and tweet about them. But that's somehow also quite different from the local soccer experience. Collingwood, and the AFL, are very, very big in this culture. You can be classed as a supporter and participant in the culture, even if your actual involvement or engagement is very small.

Sure there's a difference between the hardcore who buy reserved seat memberships and those who mainly read about their teams in the paper or make idle chat about the footy in the office; but there's enough depth to the supporter culture in footy to make a range of supporter experiences and approaches appear at least notionally valid; you can go to games regularly or not go at all, and still be part of something much larger than yourself.

Soccer  - likely throughout Australia, but more specifically at our level, and even more specifically South's situation - does not have that luxury of supporter depth and cultural embeddedness; where the culture of competitive, organised, spectator oriented soccer is so embedded that the game can make do with "enough" people turning up to make up for all the people who claim to take an interest but then don't actually go to that many games of senior soccer.

It's not just that you need people at games to pay for player wages and other costs. You need people at games to demonstrate that there's a purpose to this club that transcends creating content for media conglomerates and the gambling industry; otherwise you may as well just either shut the whole thing down, or hand over control of senior soccer to a betting company. 

Every game with a low attendance makes people wonder if the whole South Melbourne Hellas thing is a going concern, not just or even primarily economically, but culturally. Every game like this, with no attendance except a very strict limit on barebones staff and designated drivers and/or guardians, chips away at the feeling of being connected to something bigger than ourselves, even if it is not very big. Every closed door game also just kicks the question of what the future holds for this club, in a shared community sense, a little bit further down road.

During the game we played maybe 15 minutes of good football, and apart from that, looked generally clueless as to how to score. It looked cold. It rained. The players that I have no faith in screwed up their moments, and the players that I had some faith in didn't do much better. The coaching staff keep messing around with line-ups and positioning. And the team is being found, or so it seems, for the board not having signed a striker, nor for finding a way to encourage those responsible for team selection and organisation to pick a youth team striker to have a go.

And while we could have lost by more than we did, it felt fitting to lose to a solitary goal which will also probably be the goal of the season. That we spent the last half hour in utter cluelessness trying to figure out how to score a goal from open play was the cherry on top. All of this would have been experienced with much more anguish and anger and self-loathing if we could have watched it together at Lakeside. And again, I understand why we couldn't, but that last half hour for me wasn't even shared online.

At about the 58 minute mark, I had to drive up to Sunshine Marketplace to pick up my youngest brother from his job. So I paused the YouTube stream, and drove the five minutes to the shopping centre. I had the footy on the radio. I waited two minutes for my brother to come out of the shops, then drove back home. By the time I got back onto the couch and resumed the stream, I was 17 minutes behind the present.

I avoided the socials until the match concluded in my own reality's real time, and I avoided fast forwarding through the action... mostly. I say mostly, because when it became clear that Port were going to slow down every stoppage in play to the nth degree, I was able to move the cursor ahead by a few seconds each time. Eventually I made up about four minutes of differential; it could've been more had I started doing that earlier.

But even being able to have that choice to do that, destroyed the feeling of being part of something other than watching something to kill time on a Friday night. When you're at the game, you can't fast forward or pause. You can make nonsense comments like "gee that half just flew by" or "this half has been going on forever", and they'll be perfectly valid statements of your perception of the temporal experience, even if they're completely wrong. Devoid of the shared experience, the whole thing loses much of its  accumulated meaning. Without the journey to and from the game, there is a lack of a framing device. Without other voices, without the chorus of the crowd, it's just you and an increasingly oblique for why you care about this thing. 

At home, and mostly alone, time elapsed during a soccer match becomes nothing. Fast forward it. Pause it. Turn it off. Go to bed.

Next game

Eastern Lions on Wednesday night, in the rescheduled FFA Cup fixture. Once again, due to covid restrictions, you won't be able go! What you will be able to do, is tune in to the game via South's Facebook page. No idea yet if the game will be streamed through a streaming service that I prefer, like YouTube.

A quick word on the senior women

I assumed their return to action (also behind closed doors) against Bayside United was going to be on the Sunday, and then all of a sudden I see on the old socials on Saturday arvo that there were line-ups being posted and all sorts of things of the nature of "they're actually going to play very soon; like in a few minutes". And what do you know, within mere minutes of the kickoff they're 2-0 up, and then it just didn't dry up.

After that advance notice of South dismantling their opposition, I didn't stream any of it, not out of slackness or spite or carelessness, but because the whole thing seemed macabre. As the season rolls on, South's senior women add more and more top-shelf talent, and sides like Bayside end up being treated like Southern United.

Ten-nil it finished. South is completely entitled to crush any opposition it faces, and it would kind of be remiss of it not to flex all its muscles when it can. But, also, poor Bayside. What good does a result like this do for them, and for player development in local women's soccer? It probably does as much good for them as it does for Southern United, who no longer have senior representation.

Not sure what good it does for the development of the South players either. But I suppose they'll be happy to take the three points and move on to the next game.

Final thought

Here's hoping that we can get back to games by the weekend. I miss watching games in person, and I even miss some of you.

This week's game is going ahead, but you can't go

So the news - as it currently stands - is that tomorrow night's senior men's game at home against Port Melbourne will be going ahead, but that fans will not be allowed to attend.

I don't expect that arrangement to change any time soon, but keep your eyes tuned to official channels just in case something miraculous happens.

The game will be live streamed as has been customary these past few years, so at least there's that.

This is obviously disappointing on so many levels, but these are the times we live in. Also, while not a direct factor in why Lakeside specifically is out of bounds to crowds (because every stadium in metro Melbourne is supposed to be out of bounds), have you seen how many exposure sites are in and around the South Melbourne area?

People have suggested that the clubs would have preferred to wait another week, so that crowds could be welcomed back, but I guess Football Victoria thought the backlog in the schedule was already getting out of hand.

Still, it's not just about the desire of fans to get back out there, or even the gate and canteen money that will be lost, but also whether the players will be match fit after this break. Of course every club will have had its mid-season injury toll, which this break would have alleviated to a certain extent, and here's hoping for us that Josh Wallen at least has been finally given the all clear to resume playing.

Quite how games played in what are essentially public parks will be policed is another question, but not something that concerns us terribly much.

Not winning, not losing - Port Melbourne 0 South Melbourne 0

I don't know why I sometimes take so long to post match reports. I think it might have something to do with the farther away we get from a game, the less bad I feel about it. If I wrote and posted this straight after getting home last Friday? Probably full of queasy hyperbole about sacking everyone and doom and the pain of it all, and things like that. If I posted it on Sunday? Maybe something a bit more imbued with try-hard levelheadedness.

Now though, at this very late stage of the report writing week? Meh. We got a point. Probably should have got all three, but things could be worse. Onto next week. Did you notice that there are pomegranate trees out the back of Port's ground? How teeth-rottingly good are $2 cans of soft drink? I really should have brought more than half a pack of lozenges with me. That kind of thing.

Anger has dissipated to acceptance at a remarkably rapid rate; that state where we must accept the things we cannot change, while still having the courage to keep turning up to South in the hopes of being the person who can finally shut the lights off - winning the title of all-time smugness champion (for enduring longer than anyone else), and also the title of all-time pointless masochism (also for enduring longer than anyone else).

Every week my belief that we have at least a competent squad is bolstered. The way this season is going, albeit based on a small sample size, this squad could even make the finals just based on how middle-of-the-road almost every other team seems to be. But the weeks have also bolstered my belief that the coach is not up to it. Is it a communication issue? Is it a case of playing favourites? Is it my latest cack-headed theory, that he's actually too smart for this league, that he's overthought what's going on out there? 

I threw up that idea at about halftime last week, that maybe Quintas is actually really smart, and that his tactical prowess might be too much for this competition. If that's the case, maybe we need an out-and-out idiot coaching us instead, someone with a rudimentary at best understanding of soccer tactics; someone who will go out of their way to pick the best eleven players available to start a match, play them in their most suitable positions, and sub off players who are injured or tired.

Maybe such a coach could even throw on a player to take advantage of their opponent going down to ten men, especially when you're in the midst of overrunning them. I don't know. Maybe we're so broke we can't actually afford to put subs on when the opportunity seems to present itself. Maybe it's not even the cost of the individual sub who'd' get paid an appearance fee, but the win they might contribute towards, which could end up seeing the whole squad paid a win bonus.

One could blame Harry Sawyer for our not scoring last week - I mean, his penalty attempt was pretty tame - but on the other hand, he has scored two of our league-lowest tally of three goals (hello 2019!). And would it kill us to have to rely on more than one clear-cut chance a week to maybe win a game, or at best break-even? Oh, I found some working earphones left behind the bus, does that count as getting ahead? Probably not, but these are the kind of skinny margins we're talking about here.

The first half, my goodness, what was it with this switching the ball from the right to the left? I mean, it worked insofar as the ball managed to get where it was designed to go, but it failed to do nearly anything else, because by the time the ball did get to the left (where everyone assumed it would end up) Port's defence was now in place. The second half, where for some reason that tactic was abandoned for half an hour at least, was much better. We even looked like scoring a couple of times. Imagine we set up the team like that for the whole game, instead of trying to stalemate our way to a one win, 25 draw season.

I'm not going to say that the opponent was of a particularly high calibre, but since most of our fans (and probably the rest of the league) have written us off as also being meh, it was nice to be clearly the better team at least in part by choice and/or design. That's not to say that Port didn't have chances to score, and Pierce Clark has done his bit to keep us with one of the best defensive records in the game. 

But you can't help but feel that somehow, despite self-indulgent grumbling about how awful we are, that we could, perhaps should have an extra four points on the board, and thus maybe even be top of the league, which says something about the filthy state of the league at this particular moment of time. 

I felt sorry for Daniel Clark, who had to be both right-back and winger; for Brad Norton, who needed to be relieved at about the 80 minute because he'd worked so hard, and had nothing left to give; for Zac Bates, and Ben Djiba, and whoever else was on the bench, but not given a chance. I felt good for Gerrie Sylaidos, who looked more decisive, like maybe he'd turned a corner. And I felt good for me, for finally getting some new glasses so that I could see all of this a bit better.

Having missed seeing the previous week's game because of public transport shenanigans, it was only fitting that I did not bother to check on whether there were going to be any train shenanigans this week, and get burned because of it. The 234 being a silly bus which does not stop exactly near any CBD train station, on the way back I took it up to near enough to Flagstaff so that I could exit the city loop in the shortest amount of time possible; only to then learn that there were no trains to Sunshine going through the loop, so I had to walk to Elizabeth St, catch a tram down to Flinders with some pissed guy who considered pulling the emergency door release handle, and then catch a train back to Sunshine.

If you try hard enough, you may be able to discern in that a metaphor for what this South team is trying to do. Though, to absolutely butcher a lyric from Art Brut's 'Emily Kane', "every allegory looks like a South one, when I squint".

Next game

Altona Magic at Paisley Park on Saturday evening, the last of this stretch of early season away games.

FFA Cup news

Last Monday I was sitting on my laptop, waiting for the livestream of the local women's cup draw to finish, because I assumed that soon afterward there would be the draw for the next round of FFA Cup matches. That didn't happen. I then completely forgot about the possibility that Football Victoria might do the draw yesterday, so of course that's when they did it, while I was out galivanting around Brunswick with a mate.

I jumped on Twitter later on, and found that the draw had taken place, and that we'd been drawn away against NPL 2 team Werribee City. Without wanting to overinflate the capabilities of our opponent, it was a bit of a dud draw for us, seeing as how almost every other team in our division seemed to get fixed up against a team lower down the food chain.

New old videos being added

Some of you may have seen that I've begun uploading some new South related content to my YouTube channel. On Friday I was given a good amount of South videos spanning 1983 to about 1995 on a couple of portable hard drives, and I'll be uploading those at a gradual rate. The best way to keep up to date with new uploads is to subscribe to my channel, check my Twitter feed, or hope that someone else shares links.

I'm thankful to those who passed the videos on to me, though they wish to remain anonymous. The content is mostly, but not exclusively, South Melbourne wins in the National Soccer League. A reasonable amount of the videos have been uploaded in other formats, either by me or by others sharing the same kinds of content, so my initial focus will be on uploading those games that I have not seen uploaded anywhere on the net. 

I've not had a chance to go through all the videos yet, but the labelling on the files is a bit off on a few occasions, so I also have to figure out what game's from when. Still, having a basic understanding of when certain players were at the club, as well having John Kyrou's spreadsheets on hand, means that figuring what game it is isn't that time consuming.

For those who take an interest in such things, much of the 1990s footage in this tranche will be familiar viewing; still, more recent South fans  - who are unfamiliar with the great early 1990s era of South Melbourne Hellas - will get a kick out of seeing what was a very good team, as well as a great feel for Middle Park in the early days of summer soccer. 

The 1980s footage will be less familiar to even keen older fans. Apart from its relative rarity (especially the 1983 stuff), it includes some of the lower points of the club's history - those 1986, '87, and '89 seasons weren't exactly crash hot for us, or for the NSL in general. So in the videos which cover that era you'll see some small crowds, a few truly dire pitches, and an often very physical style of play. 

But the good players and moments still shine through, and like me, I anticipate you'll appreciate the skill of players having to put up with less than ideal playing conditions, and yet still being able to do some quite wonderful things with the ball. 

Final thought / Puskas documentary

Some of you may remember the ongoing effort to create a documentary on Ferenc Puskas' time in Australia, and especially Puskas' time at South. Well, the following message has been posted by Tony Wilson on Instagram and Facebook:

For quite a few years now, I've been making a documentary about Ferenc Puskas in Australia, that's also about the old NSL, South Melbourne Hellas, Greek immigration, Hungarians in exile post '56, community and sport, and the 1991 Grand Final.

We're at the business end, literally in the sense that we have to raise money to pay for post production and footage licences. but also we need to close the lid on the archival resources we're going to use:

Does anyone have photos or footage of: 

1. Middle Park, crowd shots, atmosphere at games, arriving at games, club rooms, club functions, with South Melbourne being the focus, Just missing 1991 (say 1994) might still work.

2. A photo that shows the ethnic affiliation of the club they supported, with fans or players - we have an explainer on the ethnic nature of the NSL for overseas audiences; (Croatian flag... star of David, Yugoslavian connections etc etc)

3. Puskas photos or footage, any era, but particularly South Melbourne or out at Keysborough doing his clinics, pre-South Melbourne. (The holy grail here would be hand held video 8 or beta or vhs or super 8 from fans hanging around the club rooms, or going to airport to meet Puskas)

4. Footage or photos from the welcome function, 1989.

5. Footage or photos from the crowd on grand final day 1991, especially post match, club rooms.

6. Footage or photos from the post premiership end of season trip to Greece, 1991.

7. Great photos of South icons of the 1988-91 era, Ange Postecoglou, Mike Peterson, Paul Trimboli, Kimon Taliadoros, Mehmet Durakovic, Con Boutsianis, Paul Wade, Peter Tsolakis, Jim Pyrgolios, Steve Blair.

We hope to have the film finished in the next few months. Any help would be appreciated. My email is tony at tonywilson dot com dot au

This is it folks. Somebody out there must have something, or know somebody who has something, to help out Tony and Rob with this film.

I've had a sneak peek at some of the film segments. The match footage is great. The talking heads lined up for the interviews have done their bit. Now the filmmakers need the stuff that only exists in people's scrapbooks, photo albums, cupboards, and boxes in the garage, to really take the film to the next level.

If you have anything stashed away that could help filmmakers Tony Wilson and Rob Heath, or if you know someone who has this kind of material, then now is the time to step up and be counted. Don't be that person who'll see the film when it comes out, who'll say "oh, I had this photo or that homemade footage, they should've included that in the film". Be the person who'll be able to say, "that photo or footage at that part of the film? That was mine".

Middlebrow - Port Melbourne 1 South Melbourne

Not that anyone's happy about it, or that anyone should be happy be about it, but given the last two and a bit years, did anyone expect us to be any better than one win, two draws, and one loss at this stage of the 2020 season?

In a battle between an upper-middlebrow side and a lower-middlebrow side, I think you'd be more upset with a draw if you were the former. Neither of these two sides is particularly good, and Hellas fan trademark histrionics aside, neither of these two sides is particularly bad either. It being the case that there are 14 teams and six finals spots in this competition, Port might sneak a finals place by virtue of their being less mediocre over the course of the home and away season than several similarly equipped teams. Not seeing our side as being that capable, I don't believe we'll be a serious contender for sixth, but barring some disaster on a slightly bigger scale than what we've become used to, we probably won't be in the bottom two or near enough to cause us extended angst.

So hooray for optimism and all that. Nevertheless, four games in I am struggling to figure out where the improvement will come from this season. All I can see happening is more shuffling players on and off the starting eleven, and on and off the bench. I used to half joke that it was foolish and unfair to expect better from players at this level - after all, with the odd exception, if these players were better than what they are, then they probably wouldn't be here in the NPL. Sadly, the joke now seems to have been extended to if these players were better than what they are, they would be playing for someone else in this competition.

That's all very cruel sounding from someone like me, who can't kick a ball, jog, or see further than a a few metres. But, to wit - we fielded two players on Friday night that had played for Port last season, one of whom was a bench option for us when we were good, and who now has a starting eleven sport ahead of someone many of us assumed would be one of our rare junior to senior success stories. And the other Port pickup hasn't done much yet either, and I am not counting the Eastern Lions game because they still managed to score twice, and chances are that everyone will beat Eastern Lions this season.

There is no middle of miidfield. Flawed potential saviour Marcus Schroen is injured. Luke Pavlou is serviceable, but serviceable isn't commanding, dominant, or game changing. Melvin Becket, bless his enthusiasm, was so enthusiastic when he came on last week that ran around like an eight year old chasing the ball everywhere, and found it tangled within his legs at the one time he found himself in the actual correct position on the field. Just as troubling is that considering that we have a squad full of wingers, we got torched on the wings, and probably our second most-capable winger (Chris Irwin) got his face cut up so bad he had to come off before half-time. Our most seasoned and one well-credentialed winger (Nick Krousoratis), who came on to replace Irwin, was probably *this* close to being replaced himself for his continued ineffective performance.

Gerrie Sylaidos, trying to make things happen. Photo: Cindy Nitsos. 

Our actual best winger (Gerrie Sylaidos) is being shuffled between number 10 and the wing, with fans complaining about the wisdom of both moves. Yet in the first half, it was he who created and scored our one good chance single-handedly - you'd be generous to give Amadu Koroma an assist credit for his throw in - and when moved out to the left in the second half, looked lively again as we sort of walked back from the cliff edge we peered over during the minutes 15-45. And where's Peter Skapetis? Now without pretending that Harrison Sawyer is the Second Coming of Milos - and these days even Milos barely looks like Classic Milos, and that was against a whole of team effort that was seemingly begging him to score - the service to him has been mostly been dire.

But we didn't lose, and that's what I'm taking out of this. Not one South person is genuinely quibbling about the result or how we got there. As upset as anyone can be for the penalty that was awarded against us - which even with the modified, pro-cruelty handball ball, seemed beyond harsh - Port should've scored at least two or three around that goal. And that extra bouncy ball lifted over Pierce Clark, which took an off-break towards goal, and somehow managed to bounce over the crossbar? There's good luck and bad luck, and we had our fair share of both.

When you were growing up, you probably thought your life would turn out, turning up to three-quarters-dark sporting reserves in the suburbs - seriously Port, are you planning to host witness protection cells in the corners of that pitch? - to watch semi-pro footballers fumble about frantically. Maybe you dreamt of being an astronaut, systems analyst, or military strongman, but we're all in this together until they shut the league down along with the rest of society - assuming of course, that NPl Victoria is considered part of society.

Next game
Saturday evening away to Altona Magic. Some say Magic are a very poor side, close to the same level as Eastern Lions. Others say Magic are not that bad, and are more capable of creating chances, and even producing some solid enough defence. I mean, you tell me what to make of any team after four games, especially one 99% of us haven't paid much attention to. Whatever happens on Saturday, we'll get upset.

Soccer Saturday Football Friday
It seems strange to think of now in these days of multiple content streams, but there used to be a time when people in Melbourne  - or at least Australian rules fans in Melbourne - yearned for the days when all or most VFL games were played on the same day at the same time. You'd go to your preferred game on a Saturday afternoon, and rush home to watch extracts from two or three other games on television in the evening.

Those days are long gone of course, even for local soccer. Once upon a time top-tier senior soccer in Melbourne would've been all on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, midweek cup and tour games notwithstanding. But we've long been accustomed to the situation of having some combination of Friday nights, Saturday afternoons, Saturday evenings, Saturday nights, Sunday afternoons, Sunday evenings, and even that most cursed of all timeslots, Monday nights.

But change being the only constant, things keep evolving. And so for a variety of reasons, we've seen more and more teams migrate senior games to Friday nights. Last Friday we had six of the round's seven matches being played at close enough to the same time, mostly staggered (probably by coincidence more than anything deliberate) at kickoffs of 15 minute intervals.

There's not much that Football Victoria can do about this. They set rules about how early or late games can kick off on a proscribed match days, but otherwise leave fixturing to the clubs. Which is fair enough - clubs should have the ultimate say in when they think they'll get their best turnouts, and how best to manage the load and availability of the fields they have at their disposal. Now some people might complain about not being able to get to other NPL games, but if I'm being honest here, that doesn't seem to be the main complaint people have with this arrangement. I mean, one can't simultaneously say that NPL crowds are crap (which they are) and then posit that simultaneous matches are inhibiting attendances for all but the most sick NPL attendees.

(though clubs who have come to rely on fortnightly visits by George Katsakis and his chucking fifty bucks on the bar and canteen might have a more valid complaint - I mean, not even George can visit all six games on a Friday night)

No, the biggest gripe seems to be from and for those poor souls who prefer to stay home and watch the NPL live streams. Switching between two or three games? Easy. Between six? Much harder, especially as NPL Victoria is still well short of being able to produce an NFL RedZone production. But even though the live streams have at least anecdotally hurt NPL attendances, it's hard to know how much of an impact they've had because no one's done and no one's really capable of doing the due research.

But the live streaming is an important thing to consider, because with this national second division that's set to come in some time within the next few years, the people who want an NSD need to get their heads around who's going to come and watch their games, and who's going to pay to watch their product on some sort of screen. And proper fixturing of games, including spreading out games, will become a key element of that, though I figure that an NSD will see Melbourne teams have a lock on Fridays, because the other states generally don't seem to play games on Fridays.

Until I was disabused of my assumptions by someone more in the know, my assumption was that far fewer Australian soccer fans are interested in watching NPL (and even an NSD) than certain groups would like to think, and that goes especially for live streaming. Counting incidental ultra-short-term views on Facebook as having a value beyond their measure seems like a dangerous form of self-delusion. Plucking out numbers without context and comparing them at all as like for like with free to air and pay television seems like a recipe for self-delusion. Apparently however, most of NPL Victoria's viewership - around 80% - comes from Victorian sources.

That apparently changes significantly for Monday games, after gamblers in Asia collect their paychecks. (Monday is apparently payday in many south-east Asian nations). Not being the kind to watch these games on Facebook, I can't say much for the comments left there which might indicate who the audience might be. But recently on NPL Victoria's YouTube streams, the comments have been opened up again after being locked for all of last year, and the results indicate very little local or Australian audience interaction. Like YouTube streams of Tasmanian games, which tend to leave their comments sections open, Monday's standalone NPL match between Eastern Lions and Dandenong Thunder held few surprises in terms of the audience.

And that audience seems to be mostly made up of overseas gamblers taking advantage of games  being played outside the time slots of most football leagues. So apart from the comments that are in Arabic or Cyrillic scripts, most of the rest is easily intelligible. People claiming to have inside knowledge, people alleging rigged games, and people confused about what level they're actual watching, with comments running the gambit from expecting VAR to be part of the experience to the assumption that no one is being paid, and that the league is completely amateur.

These idiots actually go to games. Photo: Luke Radziminski.

To be fair, when you see utes moving around in the background, it can be easy to assume that the competition is amateur, however the cruelty of some of the comments - poor standard, poor players, poor stadiums, poor crowds - is probably not the kind of commentary Football Victoria, the broadcast teams, and even fans of the comp will want to have spread, even if fans of the competition especially already think and post much the same criticism. The live stream is, after all, meant to function as a form of promotion of the talents of the players and commentators and the local game as a whole, not matter how funny it is having some guy going "i have corona virus who wants some" in the comments.

I've noticed that...
The club has put up a notice on its Facebook page that:

"South Melbourne has been working with all stakeholders Football Victoria, the AAFC and Football Federation Australia & more recently PFA to see Australia return to a football structure which embraces and encourages aspirational football. 

We believe the NSD is critical for the development of Football. We are looking forward to continuing our participation in the next phase on this journey, including the submission of South's Expression of Interest, which will enable South to once again play regularly on the national stage."

Which is fair enough I suppose, though you kinda wish they could put something up on their website, not least because the website hasn't been updated since February 24.


Final thought
It was really a very minor thing, but I heard some news about South the other day that was so unexpectedly positive, containing evidence of the club's attempt to be morally upright and legally compliant in a way that any normal business should be, that my first reaction was not joy, but rather shock and disgust.

Half team, full result - South Melbourne 2 Port Melbourne 1

Josh Dorron is that tall compared to his team mates, that he looks like a kid
who has been kept back a year in primary school. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

I had zero expectations going into this game, based on the rumour going around that we would be fielding a very irregular side, dropping this player and that player and also that guy, preferring to keep them fresh for Wednesday's cup game. This was more or less confirmed by the president during a brief chat we had before the game, and confirmed by the team sheet up online before kick off.

Of just as much concern was that we would have pre-planned, non-situational subs set up, which is the kind of thing which could backfire very easily. This was all the more worrisome because of the importance of this game to our chances of avoiding the drop, or if you're some sort of obstinate optimist, our chances of keeping up with the top six.

Nikola Roganovic dropped to the bench, replaced by Josh Dorron for his first appearance in a South shirt. Jake Marshall on the bench. Billy Konstantinidis on the bench. Zac Bates on the bench. Kristian Konstantinidis, Ben Djiba, and Leigh Minopoulos not even in the squad. Tom Aulton partnering Kostas Stratomitros at centre-back. Nick Krousoratis starting. Melvin Becket playing defensive mid! In such a crucial game, it seemed like madness, even if Port had Alan Kearney and Michael Eagar out.

Anyway, there was little time for me fret over these details, because I'd been called up to guest commentary for the match's live stream. This happened because I got to Lakeside, found myself alone and bored in the grandstand, and then moved into the scoreboard control room for a chat with the South media folks, and suddenly agreeing to do guest commentary for the senior men's game with Chris Gleeson.

Melvin Becket was the match's surprise packet. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

Now even though I have little bit of live radio broadcast experience behind me (both as a guest and as a co-host), I was still a bit nervous before doing this game, which partly comes down to working with a new partner. But even apart from that, would it be noticeable that my eyesight is not that good? Would it matter that most of the Port players I recognised I did so only because they were ex-South boys?

In the end, we probably got away with it for the most part, although there were a couple of moments where I think I could've done better. I'll be better for the run, so to speak, should I ever decide to do it again.

The biggest difference to my normal experience of a game was of course that I actually had to pay close attention to what was going on out on the field, and not spend half the game making jokes about nonsense and then asking my fellow members of Row H what just happened when something notable occurred on the field.

Congratulations to Marcus Schroen on reaching 100 games for South.
Photo: Luke Radziminski.

What I noticed by paying attention is that the game followed a familiar pattern for a 2019 South match, despite the plethora of personnel changes. In other words, long periods of relative and actual dominance, alternating with periods where we're stuck in defence with no midfield presence of which to speak, leading to a cheap goal being conceded. The first half was that summary in a nutshell. A promising early start to the game, in which we even managed to score, followed eventually by a comparatively terrible last 10 minutes of the half where we gave up a very soft goal (though credit to Sam Ford for his turning our defence inside out, as he did in the earlier fixture between the two sides).

My concern was that like last week the late goal in that half would carry over into momentum for Port in the second half (and perhaps latent memory of what happened the last time we played against each other). And at least early in the second half, Port seemed to apply the tactic of playing around Melvin Becket. But then the game became the Melvin Becket show, in the great unlikely defensive midfield performance in a South shirt since... well, I suppose Oliver Minatel's run in that position last year. It's the kind of thing that will never, ever work again, though I bet we try it again at some point.

Our midfield, when it was there, looked good, and did that familiar thing of being rotated around like playing a game of H.O.R.S.E. on a basketball court. Of course so much depends on Gerrie Sylaidos, and he certainly made his presence felt at crucial moments. Less successful were other players, notably Nick Krousoratis, who just can't take a trick at the moment. The one time he was left unmarked however on Sunday he managed to keep the ball alive and cut it back to Skapetis for his first senior South goal.

Of course after that we had enough chances to bury Port but didn't. Defensively some of the effort of keeping Port out was typically chaotic, but solid enough. It'd be nice if we could keep a clean sheet. At least we made sure that ex-South man Giordano Marafioti didn't get on the score sheet, though the fact that he couldn't get his shot on target will serve as justification for own coaching staff not playing him more often.

Next game
Melbourne Knights away on Wednesday night in the FFA Cup. While it would obviously be nice to win, we'll be going into this game as heavy underdogs, playing on a narrow, bumpy pitch, in front of a hostile crowd. All the pressure's on them really.

Relegation battle (status, ongoing, slight improvement)
While yesterday's win takes us to within two points of the top six, my sights are still firmly set on the relegation battle, and the quest to get to that nominally safe 30 point mark.

So on that front, results generally went in our favour last week. Apart from our own win - a relatively rare one against a team below us this season - Kingston, Thunder, and Pascoe Vale all lost. Dandy City and Oakleigh both won, but I think we can safely assume that in the case of City that their mid-season 'ins' have already made a big difference, while for Oakleigh their form has inevitably taken a turn for the better considering the calibre of their squad. Or one can argue that once a certain disruptive force was removed, things turned around for them, but that's not really our concern.

After Avondale on Sunday, we've got Kingston and Pascoe Vale at home. Get four points from those latter two games, and we put ourselves in a position where those two teams are very unlikely to catch us. One week at a time though.

On the couch
Yes, we have no bananas
I had wanted to go watch the senior women's game against Box Hill United on Saturday, but life got in the way. First, I had to play the role of designated Saturday supermarket trip chauffeur. Second, there were bus replacements on the Lilydale and Belgrave lines, pushing out journey times from my place to Wembley Park to two hours. Third, it's all live streamed these days, isn't it? So after I got home from Coles I chucked the game on my phone, got about two minutes in with that particular incessant noise - you either know what I'm talking about or you don't - before my Vodafone connection chucked it in for the afternoon. The only bigger pity was that the women lost 2-1, in another less than inspiring performance. At least I avoided having to eat was apparently a very dodgy souv.

Final thought
The feedback I caught up with after the game on my contribution was positive, and I thank people for that. It seems like at least some of you at home were just happy to have a South person contributing to the broadcast of a South game, which is fair enough. I tell you what, it's harder than it looks trying not to celebrate a goal by your team on a live broadcast. Much easier was avoiding falling into the suggestion made by some unhelpful people about deliberately mispronouncing key words, or doing style shout-outs to Clarendon Corner celebrities.

Wrong about everything - South Melbourne 3 Bentleigh Greens 2

I can't quite figure it out, but perhaps we've just got to accept that most of us are going to be wrong about this team and most of these players on a weekly basis, and maybe even on a minute-by-minute basis.

Certainly this season is taking its emotional toll on some of our supporters, in ways quite different from 2018. Where in 2018 one (retrospectively) spent the entire season after round 3 gearing up for a relegation battle, halfway through this season we've been through the highs of two wins in the first three games, an erratic stretch of form which saw the loss of a senior coach, still more erratic form which saw us flirt with the bottom three thanks to dropping points to most of our relegation battling compadres, and yet over the past three weeks have knocked over three of the best credentialed teams in the league.

Now to be fair, some of our supporters are more susceptible to violent mood swings than others. But this season has had a knack of overturning the expectations of even the most astute commentators. Every player is wrong, every tactic is wrong, every signing is wrong, every board maneuver in regards to coaching, player management, and selection is wrong, until things just fall into place and it works. That's not to imply imminent ascendancy for this team, because the next two weeks against bottom half teams could see us drop back into old habits and poor results. But if you're hoping for grinding 1-0 wins for the rest of the year and a seventh place finish, this might not be the season for you. You should instead settle down in front of the heater and watch videos of (stereotypical) Chris Taylor coached South sides.

Though it would be nice to keep a clean sheet, something we've only done twice in the league all season.

Losing Brad Norton to injury early on (and here's hoping it's not a serious one, even though Brad had no hesitation in subbing himself off immediately) wouldn't have helped our cause, especially since he was replaced by the Much Maligned Perry Lambropoulos on the left. Having lost his spot at right full-back to Ben Djiba, Perry is basically in the squad now as cover. One person's misfortune (Luke Adams) plus another's (Brad Norton) meant where one might otherwise play Kristian Konstantinidis on the left, Perry gets a go instead.

Perry's inclusion did stymie our ability to make progress on the left, as Lambropoulos is mich less of an attacking threat than Norton or any of the rest of our full-back options. This meant Pep Marafioti had to work a lot harder on the left in the first half, and he wasn't having a great game before that of Norton's going off anyway.

Having shown some positive signs and an ability to match it with Bentleigh in the first 20 minutes or so, we were overwhelmed bu a superior side for the rest of the half. The Greens were getting numbers forward, and their opening the scoring looked inevitable, except for Nikola Roganovic pulling out some superb saves. Unfortunately another routine defensive blunder from Kristian Konstantinidis cost us a goal.

It was his third goal-costing mistake in four matches, and each of the mistakes was easily avoidable. Against the Magic he could've easily hoofed the ball upfield instead of trying to dribble his way on his own byline; against Heidelberg, he gave away a needless and reckless penalty; and here against Bentleigh, as a cross was cleared by our defenders to the edge of the box and the rest of the defensive line moved up the field, KK decided to sit on the goal-line, keeping the Bentleigh attacker onside when the ball was sent into the box again.

And yet somehow we've managed to not lose any of those games. Go figure.

At least someone's happy - for now. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

We equalised early enough in the second half from a goal so simple in its execution you wonder why teams don't try it more often. The flu-stricken Gerrie Sylaidos got free on the right edge of the box, shot low and hard across at the Bentleigh keeper, and the resultant spill sat up beautifully for Pep Marafioti to belt home from close range.

Now I'm a Negative Nancy at the best of times, so while the crowd lifted from that unexpected goal, I said to the younger lads behind me (and they can vouch for this), "enjoy the five minutes while it lasts". Well, I was wrong about that, because we held on to the 1-1 scoreline for just three minutes, as Matt Thurtell raced through on goal unimpeded and slammed his shot into the back of the net.

Oh well, being level was fun while it lasted. And how nice would it have been if Marafioti or "he of the hamstrings which are always about to snap" Zac Bates could've slotted one of their chances soon after we had equalised. Anyway, at 2-1 down it's not like it was over, but I felt like we always had more goals to concede and not necessarily any way to match that. Well, I was wrong about that too, as Marafioti - who was playing on the right on the second half - decided to take a speculative low shot from the edge of the box, which took a deflection before settling in the back of the net.

All of a sudden it was 2-2, one felt that anything could happen, even if the most likely scenario was still us losing the game somehow. Before the game I would've been happy with a point, and at 2-2 with about twenty minutes to play, I would still have been happy with that point.

When Jake Marshall (2019's most improved South Melbourne player by a long way) got subbed off, I have to say I was a bit confused and concerned. But looking at the replay - especially of Bentleigh's second goal - and thinking it about it a bit more dispassionately, I think I understand the logic of it; even though Marshall wasn't having a poor game per se, Matt Thurtell was burning past him with pure speed too often.

But then we got the winner thanks to a corner and Kostas Stratomitros being in the right place at the right time. Say what you will about Marcus Schroen's corner taking this season - and it has often been dire - it has also occasionally been good, and when it has we have looked very dangerous from these situations.

Here's the thing - and I may have mentioned it in a previous post about Bentleigh, or I may not have, I can't recall and I'm not going to back and look for it - as good as they are in an attacking sense, they are more suspect defensively this season. Now let's put that in perspective: most NPL defences once you start putting pressure on them look suspect. But Bentleigh have looked particularly vulnerable to me, and the fact that we actually had a go made things happen.

It's a tautology of sorts, I know, but there's no use dying wondering. The corner we scored from? It came because Nick Krousoratis put in a crap ball into the box and the Bentleigh defender freaked out and booted it out behind his own goal line. That's the standard of pretty much every team in this comp once they sense there's any danger, no matter how remote.

Did we ride our luck? Did we look shaky when Bentleigh threw everything at us in the last few minutes? Well yes, of course. Did we get three points? Well actually, yes, we did. I expected at most three points from these past three league games (and really, probably only one) but here we are now with what some might call form or momentum.

We've returned to equilibrium, now can we maintain that?
It was a handy win in other ways as well, because with regards to the relegation battle, the round's other results were a bit of a mixed bag. Oakleigh and Port both won on the road, while Dandy Thunder, Pascoe Vale and Kingston all lost. Probably the most surprising result was Dandy City picking up a point at Avondale, in what may be a chilling sign of things to come.

Still, some of our bottom-half rivals might be looking at the table and wondering - as many of us are - how the hell did we manage to beat three teams on the trot that were sitting in the top six at the time.

That nice run of form has some people already looking up to a possible finals run - after all, we're just three points adrift from the sixth-placed and stuttering Melbourne Knights.

I remain more focused on getting enough points to avoid the drop or a relegation playoff. Though one person is intent on moving the goalposts about what would constitute a points total that would see us safe, I'm keener to stick with the 30 point mark as the initial aim here. At the moment we're three wins and a draw adrift of that target, and if we can't manage at least that in our remaining games, then we deserve to go down.

Next game
Dandenong City away on Friday night. Dandy City have splashed out during the mid-season transfer window, signing Carl Valeri, Adrian Leijer, and Brendon Santalab. Some of you may remember the last two playing for various clubs during the late NSL era, though I'm not sure what they've been doing in the last 15 or so years, as they kinda seemed to fall off the face of the earth.

If you're one of those weirdos who love getting to the grounds by public transport, this might be one to avoid, unless you have a plan for getting back out to civilisation somehow.

The club should demand its $50 back
We made a substitution during the second half, in which the fourth official put up the number 12 on his fancy board as both the player coming off and coming on. These blokes have basically four jobs, all of them very simple.

1. Put up the correct numbers of the subs on their fancy boards.
2. Put up the correct number of minimum amount of injury time minutes to be played.
3. Occasionally tell coaches to get back in their technical areas.
4. Pray like hell that they don't have to actually get called up to do the ref's or the lino's jobs.

That's money well spent across a season, dollars which would could just as easily be spent being put into the pocket of hard working professional NPL players who entertain thousands of people (most of them overseas gamblers, admittedly) on a weekly basis. These fourth officials need to lift their game.

Photo: Luke Radziminski.

Bucket of sand
Does anybody remember the last time a flare was lit at Lakeside Stadium? No, that's not a call for you to rip one and break the drought. It's just that someone noticed the flare buckets on standby during Sunday's game, and people were wondering when was the last time they were even needed.

The best that anyone could seem to recall, people affiliated with Pascoe Vale ripped one during the 2015 semi-final they lost against us. There was a flare confiscated and/or found during that Melbourne Victory game in 2016, but I think that's about as close as we've gotten since 2015. I can't remember the last time one of our fans ripped one.

Mumble grumble (social club kitchen)
Much dissatisfaction expressed on the forum this week about the food service in the social club. Mostly based around how slow it is. Now I usually eat in the social club well before the game, so I've dodged most of in the "just before kickoff and during the game" issues with getting food quickly from our social club.

What I will say is that the social club did look understaffed on Sunday, for reasons I'm not aware of. That certainly added to the problems experienced by several of our supporters looking to get food and drink on Sunday. There was one register open, and one guy responsible for taking order, making coffees, and getting people's drinks. That's not usually been the case the season, but you can see how that caused a lot of problems.

There have been three operators of the social club since the social club reopened, and while the quality and the range of food have varied between operators, the problems remain largely the same. Slow service and an ability to decide whether the social club space is going for speedy match day service (if it is even capable of doing this under its current setup) or bistro style cooked-on-request service.

I'm not in hospitality and never have been, but it seems that there are at least some basic solutions which would alleviate some of the current problems. The first would be to open up the canteen on the side of the grandstand (if it's not open already), and let people know that it is open (seeing as how most people enter the venue via the social club), taking some of the heat off the social club kitchen.

(and isn't getting access to that canteen and outside pouring rights on match days part of what we gave up some of our monthly income for?)

Second would be to get a coffee cart working outside of the social club. We're a winter competition, and some people are understandably going to want a warming beverage. Coffee takes longer and more effort to make than pouring a beer or soft drink. Why would you make it harder to access for punters to access and harder for staff to provide this service?

Third - and this is not my suggestion, but rather a popular one from the forum - just provide food that is easy to prepare, cook, and serve on a speed and scale befitting a soccer match instead of a sit-down restaurant. These people (by which I mean all these people who have attempted to operate the social club) have been experienced hospitality people in one form or another. It boggles the mind how this issue still hasn't been sorted out.

Mid-season transfer period news
Though some people on Sunday said there would be a Peter Skapetis related announcement on Monday, as of Tuesday afternoon there was no Peter Skapetis related news other than to say that there was strong word that he was no longer at Dandenong Thunder, which is the very definition of being neither here nor there.

Then on Tuesday evening, the announcement was finally made that the Skapetis signing had come to pass. Skapetis is a former South junior, who claimed with what felt like something with believability that scoring against us earlier in the season for Dandenong Thunder felt very wrong. He's signed until the end of 2020, but the more immediate question is who is going to make way for him? I'm guessing it's going to be Zac Bates' hamstrings, because you wouldn't drop your leading scorer in Pep Marafioti, would you?

There has also been simmering rumour chat that Canadian defensive midfielder Ethan Gage is on his way out of Lakeside, but as of Wednesday morning, he's still with us as far as I'm aware. Having said that, Gage's not being used in either the midweek cup match nor the Bentleigh game says to me that unless he's injured, there's something wrong here. We'll see what comes of it.

The transfer window reportedly closes on June 4th, so there's still time for lots of stuff to happen, or not happen.

On the couch

Momentary abstraction/Eventual clarity
It's the most curious thing - my zeal for watching other games from this league has returned just as South has managed to win a few games. I wonder what the connection might be? I'm sure I'll figure it out one day. Anyway, for whatever reason I was compelled on Monday night to watch Kingston vs Port Melbourne. I was hoping for a Kingston win, or at worst a draw between the two teams. We didn't get that. Sure, Kingston took the lead, but they coughed it up to, well, a team that deserved to win it on the balance of play. To go back to an earlier point in this post - being entertaining is fun, but perhaps not so much when you're on the bottom of the ladder. At some point you've got to control the tempo of a match, disrupt the momentum of your opponent, and grind out results rather than lose honourably.

Cue, meet rack... wait...
That aforementioned return of a zest for life? Yeah, I ended up at Knights Stadium yesterday because of it. A bit cold and some regret on that front, but I emerged emotionally unscathed, and actually also a bit entertained as well. There was an announcement that a white Toyota was blocking something or other and needed to be moved, and I had a momentary flash of panic that it was my Toyota... thankfully the licence plate number was different, and later on we found that the car was also an Aurion and not a 1989 Camry, which was eventually moved once the announcement was made again, this time in both English and Croatian.

As for the match, either way this turned out would've been funny, but seeing the cash-splashing Avondale bow out after putting the cue in the rack with a 1-0 lead and about half an hour to play, on the assumption (not entirely unreasonable, but still) that Knights would not pose a serious threat going forward, was pretty funny. This was a game whose excellence built up slowly, revealing itself only in the final minutes. A slow start from both team playing between arcs. Then Avondale having a goal cleared off the line by what Twitter says was a clear handball. Then missing a one on one. Then finally taking the lead early in the second half and deservedly so. Five or so more minutes of trying to put the game away seemed to be enough for the visitors, and that turned out to be their downfall. Knights had been ceded the initiative, they managed to get an equaliser, and we were off to extra time. Then Knights took the lead, and Avondale had to figure out how to get their way back into the game. And it wasn't like Knights were going to be hospitable in that - the ball at one stage went over the fence on the Quarry Hill side, and no one, not even the ball boys, made any effort to retrieve the ball necessitating the Avondale player on that side jumping the fence.

Funny thing was the gate was next to him 😂

— Andrew Golub (@andrewg_90) May 28, 2019

It was a stunt made riskier by the fact that it had started bucketing down in extra time. The chances also flowed from both sides after that, with Knights keeper Cakarun making one final, reaching save to preserve their lead, and Avondale sending a header from the resulting corner over the bar. So Knights progress against the odds, while Avondale bow out to chants of "cigane" coming from the Mark Viduka Stand.

Final thought
Googled myself on Google Scholar this week, and found that Andy Harper had cited my now six-year-old journal article in his own recently released journal article. I mean, it was only part of his literature review, but it's something I suppose.