South claim WNPL title over Geelong Galaxy in dramatic grand final

Despite the senior men starting pre-season in late November 2016, the 2017 South season just doesn't end, and so we - the few, the proud, the geeky - found ourselves out at Broadmeadows for WNPL grand final day. I got there early enough to see almost all the under 18s final, which South lost 2-0 to Calder United. It was an uphill battle for most of the game for the South girls, who trailed 2-0 at the break and took a long time to get going in this game. They were up against the bigger bodied opposition which didn't help matters, but they fought their way until the end and had they snatched a goal late, things may have have ended up differently. As it was, Calder were the better side by some margin

The bombshell news before the senior grand final was that the league's golden boot winner Melina Ayres would be out, reportedly at the behest of the national youth squad selectors who did not want her playing and further aggravating a calf injury she had picked up while training with them. It left a sour taste in the mouth, but one had to have confidence in the rest of the squad which had done so well this season. And besides which, we had the services of the Matildas' all time leading scorer in the form of Lisa de Vanna.

Lisa De Vanna shields the ball from a Geelong opponent. De Vanna was a crucial element of the championship win, even if at times her teammates went all mid 1990s Collingwood with her by looking to pass to her at every opportunity, as did those Magpie players of that era with Nathan Buckley. Photo: Mark Avellino.

After a sluggish start from both sides, it was De Vanna who put us ahead early on when she smashed a low cross from Natalie Martineau into the roof of the net. Still better was to come, with De Vanna setting up a shot for Jamie Pollock, only to have that effort sharply diverted with a header into the back of the net by Martineau. 2-0 is never a done and dusted scoreline, especially only half an hour in. This is perhaps especially true in the women's game at this level where shifts of momentum can be quick and devastating.

And thus in the second half, Antonia Niteros gave away an unnecessary penalty which was converted by former South player Laura Spiranovic, and soon enough Geelong were level when South keeper Molly-May Ramsay misjudged her positioning and saw a shot curl around her from distance into the far corner. Times like that you think the game is going to slip away, but the introduction of Caitlin Greiser off the bench, along with renewed resolve from the South players saw us get on top in the final ten minutes of regular time.

Caitlin Greiser tries to win the ball from a Galaxy opponent. Photo: Mark Avellino

We hit the woodwork four times. We should have stormed over the top of them. And while Greiser was the main culprit, missing one sitter in particular, saying something like we would've won easily if Ayres was playing is a bit of a misnomer - the chances were there were to be taken, and we didn't do it. So the game went into extra time, and this time Greiser found herself at the back post and made no mistake. 3-2 up early in extra time, and looking good, only to cough up another equaliser. So as it was two years ago when South last played in and won a women's Victorian top flight grand final, the game was off to penalties.

One got the feeling of an immense injustice about to take place, but we worked our way to a two goal buffer in the shoot-out; only to try and Melbourne Croatia 1991 grand final our way out of the game by botching our chance to finish Galaxy off. When De Vanna stepped up to take our fifth penalty, it just looked wrong. Galaxy keeper Emily Kenshole had been doing a good job in the shoot-out, and she easily saved De Vanna's tentatively placed effort. Skipper Alex Cheal stepped up in the sudden death round, and though among some of the watchers in our behind the goals group thought that this would be another Michael Eagar/Palm Beach 2015 moment. But Cheal put her penalty away, and then Geelong had their next effort saved easily by Ramsay.

120 minutes and still no winner, so now into the shoot-out. No one here seems particularly confident. Photo: Mark Avellino.

It was fitting but also pleasing that Greiser scored the decisive penalty in the shoot-out. The striker has been understandably overshadowed by Ayres' goal scoring feats this season, but got into enough good positions to win the grand final on her own and yet came away with just the one goal. Credit to Greiser though, she held her nerve brilliantly and placed the ball out of reach of the goalkeeper, who had done a good job of guessing where our penalties were headed. And thus South won the title, adding 2017 to our previous wins in 2011, 2014, and 2015, and the enforced State League 1 title from 2016 - although to be fair, the 2011-2015 titles were done under the auspices of the SMWFC.

Tiff Eliadis was awarded best on ground, and she was a worthy recipient. She was important at first in midfield, and then in defence later in the game. It also wouldn't be a South championship without the trophy coming apart upon presentation, and that was the case again yesterday as the base came free right on cue. Later on the team and some of its well-wishers returned to the social club. The kitchen was closed, but the bar was open, and there were pizzas from Blue Room up the road, and later unfortunately from Pizza Hut. Nevertheless the vibe was good, and why wouldn't it be? You'd just won one of the most dramatic grand finals by the skin of your teeth.

But all's well that ends well! Trophies, pennants, and big smiles all round for a fine season. Photo: Mark Avellino.

It's in the nature of women's football (so far as my observations go) that at this stage of its development that teams are less cynical in their play than the men, and are always looking to attack rather than defend. Even so, this South team from what I've seen of it is even more obsessed with scoring goals over not conceding than even that stereotype of women's football allows. Some of the keener watchers of this team put that down in part to the coaching of Socrates Nicolaidis, and I like to think that somewhere in that influence is a bit of the old, classic South - the one which sought not just to win, but to attack, to fear no team. If the men's team under Chris Taylor has understandably taken on a more pragmatic approach during its run of success, then it's at the very least pleasing that in the women's teams and in the juniors, the old South ethic of winning and winning well is kicking on.

The grand final win however will no doubt annoy many of the other teams. Few if any of them wanted South included in the WNPL this season, crying both for lack of depth in the local women's game as a whole, but also for what they perceived as favourable treatment from FFV in us getting in at all after we missed out on the inaugural WNPL intake in 2015. For those who kept the faith, especially those players who remained with South during our short WNPL exclusion period, yesterday's triumph will be especially gratifying.

Just quietly, too, this grand final was a cut or two above that 2015 decider at the Veneto Club, a messy and mistake riddled game. Geelong had given our women a good run for their money throughout the 2017 season, twice drawing 3-3 with us and losing the other game we played in circumstances which could've easily led to another 3-3 draw. While I think we deserved to win this game both on the balance of the day and on the balance of the season, Geelong would be devastated knowing they that threw everything they had at us and it still not being enough. Still, those of their supporters in the crowd were good sports about the whole thing, and there was a great feeling after the game at the entertainment which had been provided by both teams.

Those who weren't there missed an entertaining game of a good quality. Those who were there maybe just for the day for a bit of fun, saw themselves perhaps being surprised by how much they cared by the end.

FFA Cup semi-final ticketing news
Details have finally been released by the club.

If you haven't received an email about it yet, head here for a rundown of what's been announced so far.

Please keep all comments about ticketing for that game in that thread and not in this one.

Around the grounds
Double dose of joy and despair
The Saturday before last I headed out to Port Melbourne for a couple of state league promotion/relegation playoffs. These are my favourite fixtures in the Victorian soccer calendar. There's something on the line, and you get two sides playing against each other, on a neutral venue, who are of a roughly equivalent level but who may seldom if ever meet because of geography. And unlike a similar meeting in an FFA Cup game, the rewards are a bit more tangible, if modest. For clubs at this level, it's not the wishy-washy 'promise' of the impossible getting to the FFA Cup round of 32, but rather the more tangible and hard-earned slog of getting promoted up the Victorian soccer pyramid.

First up was Ashburton against Dingley Stars. Ashburton had been relegated to State League 4 under the stewardship of former coach (and one time South player) Steve O'Dor, but had done well enough to earn their way through to a promotion playoff. For Dingley - the old Southern Stars, who were in turn the old Dingley - a loss would mean another relegation. First things first - the temperature was up in the high 20s, which was going to play havoc with the fitness of both sides, especially if the game was going to go the distance into extra time and penalties. Secondly, it's not often you get two sets of bantering, chanting supporters to a game at Port. Usually it's the 50 old blokes who are hanging on to Port for grim life and maybe whatever of Clarendon Corner or MCF decided to turn and try and create some atmosphere. No aggro here, just good old fashioned passion.

I'm not going to pretend the skill level was the greatest, but at least the two teams got to play on a pretty decent surface and provided a very entertaining contest, and well with the $5 entry fee - because the weather was so nice, I'd left my media pass at home in my good jacket, but no gripes from me. Ashburton looked to attack on the wings, Dingley with balls over the top. It was one of those balls over the top that gave Dingley the lead, as the lofted through ball ended up being misjudged by the Ashburton keeper and bouncing over him into an empty net. In the second half Ashburton had the breeze and appeared to be taking control of the game. They drew level thanks to a deep cross to the back post, and that moment it looked like momentum was such that Dingley would get overrun.

But Dingley worked their way back into the game, and the game went into extra time. If one was to say who deserved to win it in normal time, it'd have been Ashburton, but they didn't take their chances. Yet it was Dingley who found the breakthrough in extra time, a cut back from the right being bundled into the back of the net for an own goal. But Ashy wasn't finished yet, and managed to get another equaliser, from a corner if memory serves me correct, their many corners before that point being almost all garbage. The penalty shoot out saw both teams supporters congregate behind the Williamstown Road goals. Dingley were the better team here, winning the shoot-out 4-2, leaving Ashy to wonder what if - but at least they were good sports about it. Just a pity that I don't think anyone was there to film this game.

The second fixture was State League 4 Sebastopol vs State League 3 Fawkner (the seniors of the junior wing, not the original senior wing which ended up at Mannginham). This game was a major let down after the previous one. Both sides were ordinary. Sebastapol had the better territory, but were ineffective in attack. Fawkner were solid at the back, but couldn't really get the ball forward. About 25 minutes in, Fawkner finally managed to get the ball upfield, and scored a very easy goal. That didn't improve the game in any way, and it took a dog's breakfast of a goal for Sebastopol to get level midway throough the second half, a series of headers from an uncleared corner ending up with one being looped over the Fawkner keeper.

Fawkner went down to ten men, and then survived an almighty keeper mistake to send the game into extra time. Not much happened in extra time, unless you count Sebastopol also going down to ten men, Fakwner cracking a shot into the crossbar from six yards after the keeper spilt the ball, and Blue Thunder doing a lousy job of preempting the problems that would arise from the rowdy Sebastopol support behind the goals which was liquored up and launching unceasing vitriol at certain Fawkner players. You can bet that if that was Clarendon Corner they would've had the security teams out there from the start, but for some reason it took one of the Fawkner defenders getting into slanging match with the Sebastopol support for security to cotton on the issue.

The game went into penalties, and Sebastapol won the shoot-out 4-2 to win promotion to State League 3. Unlike the earlier game, which was finished in a very sporting manner, the Sebastapol supporters and certain Fawkner players almost came to blows on the non-social club side of the players race, with security reacting very slowly. I'm not quite sure how it didn't kick off, but credit to those who few people from both sides who managed to assert their authority and eventually calm the situation down.

Final thought
Trivial as it may seem, and loathe as I am to finish on a sour note, it was disappointing not to see any members of the senior men's team in support of the senior women.

One hand on the title - South Melbourne 2 Northcote City 1

After the kick in the teeth that was the Bentleigh Greens - Oakleigh game on Friday night (more detail in 'around the grounds' below), the tension was heightened for our game against Northcote. Northcote, the team that would assuredly not just roll over and take this as just another match with nothing on the line; a club that has caused us almost no end of grief since they were promoted into the Victoria top flight, us having beaten them just once in the league (and once in the cup), while we've been the end of some hideous spankings, not least the 5-0 preliminary final loss from last year. How much that history matters is anyone's guess, but with two lynchpins of Northcote's 2013 championship - Michael Eagar and Milos Lujic - now playing for us, there'll always be someone looking to bring it up

The opening goal though came early enough so as to settle the nerves somewhat. Iqi Jawadi, who has apparently caught the eye of A-League scouts - he played in the second half for Melbourne Heart in their midweek friendly against Hume, and is also rumoured to be on the Newcastle Jets radar - eluded two Northcote players on the sideline, and found Tyson Holmes in space whose cross ended up reaching Milos Lujic perefectly at the back post.

Northcote though would not go down lightly, and at first worked their back into the game, and then became the dominant side as South sat back. The problem with this approach is that I'm not sure that this South side is as comfortable shutting down games once they have the lead as when they decide instead to drive home their advantage. The results may show otherwise, but it's always a difficult decision to make. A good thing then that generally we defended well, though our retreat into relying onto longballs (the last refuge of the scoundrel?) was incredibly frustrating to watch.

Marinos Gasparis' freekick was in a way both inevitable - in that Northcote had being getting closer and had had the general run of play - and telling, in the sense that if South has lacked one thing this year it's been a set piece specialist, someone who could be relied not only to score 3-4 goals a year at crucial points in a match or season (say, when there appears to be no other way to break down a disciplined defence, or you need that sealer to put a stake in the opposition's heart), or even just to force a corner or desperate save.

And while Jamie Reed hasn't been completely awful in that department, neither has he reached the heights of the 2006 vintage Fernando De Moraes, who when all else failed, managed to find a way through via a freekick (I'm thinking the opening goal late in the elimination final against Gully especially). Thank goodness then that we have Milos Lujic, who has become the first South player in probably 29 years - I'm thinking Charlie Egan in 1985 was probably the last player to get there - to score 20 goals for South in a single season.

That he got the ball from a player I've been critical of recently in Matthew Theodore says volumes about our depth, and the ability of Taylor to pick the right player for the right situation, which is why he's potentially the championship winning coach and I'm just some chump on with a keyboard. Still, once we had that lead we had to keep Northcote out for the remainder of the game, and full credit to them they didn't give up. On that note, special mention must go to Chris Maynard in goal, who pulled out some fine saves, and whose kicking was generally excellent. Maynard had not been tested almost at all in the previous two games since replacing the out of favour Jason Saldaris, but he was usually on top of whatever came at him yesterday.

If this post - and probably even the last match report for that matter - comes across as a little weary, it's perhaps because it's been an exhausting season; a longer home and away season than we've been recently accustomed to, a Dockerty Cup campaign in the middle of that, the Lakeside situation, and hell, even attending pre-season games from back in December. The saving grace is that we're this close to securing the title. It must have been hell for the supporters of those teams who weren't going to get relegated or win the title. That's their cross to bear though - meanwhile we've got a title to win, which we're in the box seat to take out.

Next game
A week off for the Dockerty Cup final and assorted catch up games, before we take on Oakleigh at home. We may have already won the title by then if Oakleigh lose to the Knights in their catch up game in 10 days time, but let's cross that bridge when we come to it.

Doing the sums
Well, here's how it stands. South is on 62 points, with two games left. Oakleigh's on 55 points, with three games left. So, in other words:

• A win for South in either of our two remaining games, and we take the title.
• A loss for Oakleigh in any of its three remaining games, and we take the title.
• A draw between ourselves and Oakleigh in round 25, and we take the title.

In any other season it probably wouldn't have come to this. For one, in Victoria a finals series would have taken the edge off the race to what would have been the minor premiership, in much the same way that Oakleigh's clear dominance of the 2006 season was all for nothing once they went out of the finals in straight sets. On the other hand, it's been a weird season for the simple reason that, in any other year, either team with such a record would have clinched the title already, having lost just four games between them. So it goes.

And yes, I'll probably be at the Knights - Oakleigh game, just in case we end up winning the title at that game.

They've been watching us

@IanSyson @smfc @NorthcoteCity yes Ian. Checking out @smfc our likely NPL elimination opponents
— South Hobart FC (@SouthHobartFC) August 24, 2014

Around the grounds
Urge to kill, rising
I was just one member of a healthy contingent of South fans who turned up to watch Bentleigh host Oakleigh, hoping first for an Oakleigh loss and secondly for a good game of football. Well, on the latter front there was excitement of a sort, but sadly on the former matter Oakleigh took advantage of relentlessly shithouse defending from the Greens to be up 4-0 during the first half. At least three of the goals looked majorly dodgy, as the Greens gave their opponents far too much space (seriously, who stands 3-4 metres off Nate Foster and dares him to run past you?) and insisted on playing the ball out of the back for no discernible gain. The fourth goal was perhaps the most absurd, as a botched and harmless short corner (and pretty much all short corners at this level fall into that category) was somehow parried by Alastair Bray back into the path of the Oakleigh attackers who eventually finished it off. To make matters worse, the Greens squandered several good chances in the first part of the second half, but whether they were a real chance of a comeback is unlikely. My blistering public transport run to the ground aside - one hour, fifteen minutes from Newport station - this was game was a letdown on several fronts.

Eight dollars for a Clifton Hill souvlaki is highway robbery
Headed out to Quarries Park on Saturday to see Clifton Hill play Southern Stars. Clifton Hill were third last, but in no danger of relegation. Southern Stars, starting from scratch after last year's betting scandal, started the year on -8 points, and were still in minus territory coming into this game. Nevertheless, they did win their first game of the season last week against South Springvale, so maybe there'd be evidence of further improvement here? Sadly, no. Clifton Hill took a little while to break the deadlock, but once they did this game was as good as done. Only poor finishing theoretically kept Stars in it, but they eventually fell 3-0 behind and even a late own goal to get it back to 3-1 never saw the home team threatened. Stars aren't the first team to have to rebuild after exiting the Victorian topflight, but there's seems an altogether more difficult task. Realistically though, Clifton Hill aren't in a much better position. The Hillmen increasingly appear to be a subsidiary of Heidelberg United Alexander (the 'HUFC' sponsorship on the back of the shirt seems very awkward), which may not be a very palatable thing to have said about a club which would like to assert that it is still an independent entity, but it's not like there were that many home fans there anyway to argue the point.

Quiet time
This blog will be very low key over the next week and a half or so. While we'll still have the Wednesday artefact segment, unless something super drastic happens, don't expect any significant posting from our angle. Enjoy the week off, and I'll see you all on the other side.

Final thought
As Gains I exited via the back gate in between our stand and the 1926 stand, a little kid saw us and said to his dad, 'they're so shifty'. Further reinforcement of my dislike for children.

South inches closer to finals as 2013 Southern Stars games ruled null and void

VPL Ladder as at 4:01PM 18/9/13. Screenshot: Pavlaki

After what seemed to the pleb Victorian football fan like an interminable wait, the FFV have come out and ruled all of Southern Stars 2013 senior results as null and void. It was a tough call to make, but ultimately the right one.

It is more than arguable that some teams have been disadvantaged by this decision, while others have benefited, and the latter are made up of those who gave up points to Southern Stars. However, the argument can also be made that the teams that dropped points were playing the real Southern Stars, as opposed to the one that is now seen as hopelessly compromised.

On the losing side are Melbourne Knights, who were within reach of a possible minor premiership; Port Melbourne, potentially dragged back into the finals race, after having 'sealed' their finals presence last week; Green Gully, who now probably need to win both their remaining matches; and Pascoe Vale who, if Richmond get three points tonight, could be facing a relegation playoff match on Sunday - if relegation exists, of course, what with all this NPL Victoria speculation still doing the rounds.

On the flip side, Northcote have now sealed the minor premiership; South is a little closer to getting a finals berth, with the chance of perhaps getting a home game in week one; and Richmond has one more chance to try and get itself out of that relegation scenario mentioned above.

Of course, the players who scored goals in those games will have those expunged as well, and the goal difference stakes have also been changed. Not sure on yellow cards gained in those contests though.

So the situation for South has changed from this after last week's draw with Northcote, to the situation below.

• If we beat Port, we're into the finals regardless of Gully's results - most likely finishing in fourth place and with an elimination final against Port or Gully.
• If Gully wins both games, and we lose or draw to Port, we are out.
• If Gully wins one game and draws the other, we need to at least draw with Port, and hope Gully's win is by no more than three goals.
• One win and one loss for Gully means they are eliminated, unless they can make up the goal difference (+3 in South's favour, with more goals scored) in their win or South gets belted on Sunday.
• Anything less than three points for Gully, and we don't have to do squat to make finals.

Once again, things will of course be much clearer after tonight's fixtures.

Fuck Everything - South Melbourne 1 Northcote City 1

The whole night was fucked. The refereeing was fucked. The linespeople were fucked. Security was fucked. The ground announcer was fucked - we don't need AFL progress scores, the VPL ones will do thank you very much. Our first twenty minutes or so was completely fucked, under the pump and sending ball flying forward more in hope than in the enforcement of an actual plan. Milos Lujic was fucked when he could have easily let him teammate get the ball instead of himself, and therefore getting pinned for offside. Brad Norton was fucked for giving that attempted pass off to Gavalas which caused us to fall behind. Even our goal was fucked, not for being achieved at all, but because when we had a chance soon after to hit a corner into the exact same spot at the back post, Nicky Soolsma hit it towards the near post. I made a complete pork chop of myself yesterday, so fuck me as well. Port's win against Dandenong was fucked. Oakleigh dying completely in the arse is fucked. This whole season has been fucked. And who knew it could get even more fucked?

Doing The Maths
Now, what could have been much more a case of destiny in our own hands is now a case of not only us needing to win, but being reliant on other results going our way as well. This it how stands now.

With our draw last night, and Port's win, the highest we can finish is fifth. Hume's loss to the Knights today ends their slim chance of making the finals, barring some absolutely freakish results, which now that certain things have happened (see below) are unlikely to occur.

So, our only competition for that remaining finals spot is Green Gully. Currently, we're one point ahead of them, and a two goal better goal difference. However, Green Gully have a game in hand, which they will play midweek. It's against Oakleigh, who out of the finals race for some time now, have seemingly well and truly put the cue in the rack.

Gully's last game is at home against the similarly out of the running Dandenong Thunder, who also have little to gain from their remaining matches. Meanwhile our game against Port is against an opponent with a theoretical though highly unlikely chance of getting the double chance.

So here's how it's panned out.

• If Gully wins both games, we're stuffed even if we win our last game.
• If Gully wins one game and draws the other, then we need to win on Sunday and rely on goal difference.
• If Gully draws both of their games, then a draw of our own will be enough.
• One draw and one loss to Gully means we can even afford to lose, as long as it's not a heavy loss.
• Two losses to Gully (unlikely, I know) and we don't have to do squat.

Things will of course be much clearer after Wednesday night. But now there's also this to consider...

Dodgy Asian Betting (via Backpackistan)
By now you've all surely come across the Southern Stars match fixing fiasco, in which several of their players and their coach have been arrested.

Will this mean that Southern Stars will be expelled from the league, with all their results rendered null and void (i.e. 3-0 losses)? Without anything to go on other than a hunch, I doubt it. Imagine the can of worms that would open, considering that the parties concerned have yet to face their day in court - and no decision either on whether Stars' committee had any involvement and/or knowledge about this affair, or whether it only was limited to playing and coaching personnel.

I hope for our sake that none of our players - either those with us at the moment, or those who departed during the season - have had anything to do with these shenanigans. But there are people that are suggesting that this is the tip of the iceberg. Wait and see I suppose.

Then again, the FFV have come out with their own statement, claiming that along with the FFA, they "will finalise appropriate action to be taken against Southern Stars Football Club over the coming days" and that they "are currently assessing any implications associated with the 2013 VPL finals series and will make an announcement tomorrow."

Steve From Broady's Under 21s Report
As the game was played at 4:00 rather than 6:00, and our intrepid reporter couldn't manage to get out to Lakeside that early, his match report is based on what was relayed to him later on by someone else.

South Melbourne's under 21s played top of the table Northcote City on Saturday afternoon. Northcote were three points away from the championship and South were trying to avoid the wooden spoon (for fuck's sake, bit of an exaggeration there or what - Ed) . Northcote City kicked off and dominated from the get go, creating great chances and after half an hour they took the lead and it wasn't long after that that Northcote scored again to make it 2-0, and it stayed like that until half time. Northcote dominated the second half but didn't add to the score - it finished 2-0 to Northcote, who were crowned champions for the 2013 season.

Steve From Broady's Canteen Report
It was the last visit to the South food van for 2013 on Saturday night. The souv was wrapped in foil this week for the first time - maybe this was due to the cup game against Preston when my souv fell to shit and ended up on the athletics track? My souv on Saturday night was good, but it still was short of perfection. I give the final souv of 2013 at Lakeside an 8 out of 10. Hopefully next season South have there own social club and can take the food up a notch to an epic 10 out of 10. Next week we go to Port Melbourne on the last day of the season, with the Port canteen a chance to get a 10 - it should be an epic end to the VPL food championship, until then get a parma into ya!!!!!

1. Pascoe Vale 10/10
2. Melbourne Knights 9.9/10
3. Oakleigh Cannons 9.5/10
4. Hume City 8/10
5. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
6. Richmond 6.5/10
7. Northcote City 3.5/10
8. Southern Stars 2/10
9. Green Gully 1/10
10. Dandenong DQ 

South food truck

• Week 1 - 4.5/10
• Week 2 - 7/10
• Week 3 - 8.5/10
• Week 4 - 5/10
• Week 5 - 5.5/10
• Week 6 - 9/10
• Week 7 - 6/10
• Week 8 - 7.5/10
• Week 9 - 8/10
• Week 10 - 9/10
• Week 11 - 8/10

Final Average Score

• 7/10

Next Week
Minor shades of 2011 with a pretty fucked up last round of the home and away season game against Port Melbourne, at Port Melbourne. The prize if we win, and if  results fall our way? Fifth place and an elimination final against... Port Melbourne, at Port Melbourne.

Around the Grounds
A pretty fucked up finish to the Altona East - Keilor Park game yesterday. After falling behind to a brilliant free kick, East equalised with a powerful and well placed header. Then they got one of the most fucked up penalties I've ever seen - seriously, the entire crowd was laughing at it - which Andy Bourakis scored, before Keilor got what looked like another fucked up penalty for handball very late in the game (which they converted), making me think that it was square up for the earlier fuck up.

Final Thought
How shit were we that we couldn't even beat a team that was allegedly match fixing?

I'm Working On A Disclaimer Project At The Moment - South Melbourne 2 Southern Stars 2

Firstly, a confession. I had lined this slot up several weeks ago for a patented South of the Border self-satisfying stylistic splurge, in particular, writing this game up in the manner of a match report found on the online game Hattrick. However, due to the following reasons

• my atrocious handwriting
• my atrocious note-taking
• not really wanting to relive the game in the kind of blow by blow detail that writing in that manner would entail

it's not going to happen today. I'm still hoping to pull it off by the end of the season, because goodness knows I need something to distract me from this mess we're in, hopefully combining it with a Hattrick Press piece. But that doesn't concern the majority of our readership, so we'll move on to this week's match report.

Close your eyes. Clear your mind of all thought. Now think back to an early memory, perhaps round 2, 2013. What happened that night? Were you head and shoulders above your opposition? Could they even get out of their own half? What were your expectations for the rest of your season? Where do you think you went wrong?

I can see fingers being pointed everywhere, by everyone. This is a situation that will not be easily resolved. We are far removed from the cost-cutting era when the club was doomed, and thus there are fewer excuses for what has happened over the past one and a half seasons.

Brother Frog started the match much to the surprise and disdain of a lot of people. He did some nice things, but it was obvious he could barely move, and his confidence in front of goals is shot. He was subbed about a half hour into the game. With him or without him, the game plan seemed pretty clear: play on the wings at all costs. Houston got a lot of the ball out on the right, but the end product wasn't there. It didn't help that he kept slipping over as well. Wear the right boots, please!

To be fair, Stars looked about a billion times better than our first meeting with them in 2013, but considering they'd put in a performance close to soccer's absolute zero in that game, anything other than not leaving the warmth of the team bus would have been an improvement. As it was, they attacked and generally had a red hot go. Equally, it didn't help that our season has been like a four year old staying up for New Year's - a lot of promises at the beginning of the evening about seeing it through, only to get drowsy by 8:56PM before falling asleep on the couch.

We can't even use the excuse of 'if only we scored first', because we actually did. The opening goal was quite stupid. What looked like a fairly routine catch from a cross was instead punched out by the visitor's keeper, with the ball falling to the edge of the area at the feet of TWO of our players - believe it, because it's true - and just when you thought that we'd find a way to butcher that chance of a lifetime, Toffee For A Few Minutes took the initiative and scored the goal. OK then, I thought, not sure we deserved it, but we've got it, surely we should be OK now, at least until halftime.

And that is why I'm an idiot who knows nothing about football, and who rightly gets castigated for that pretense of knowledge by those who have the guts to call it as it is, even if I have a massive sook about it to my fellow internet warriors. Because instead of going into the halftime break with a narrow if not necessarily deserved lead, we went into the break 2-1 down.

Quite how it happened is anyone's guess. How does an opposition player beat two defenders by running in a straight line? The shot - if it was a shot, and as if that really matters anyway - was a cracker, right into where the spiders live. The second goal was the result of utter confusion as the Stars - who have not won a game all season - made the most of what passes for defending at South at the moment by scoring their second about a minute after scoring their first.

The Stars didn't back off in the second half, and only some good saves from the Princess kept us in the game, until Pops came on after about an hour and changed the course of the match. Aside from perhaps the Princess and The Kid at centre-back, Pops was our best player by some way. It's sad that a player that I watched come through the VPL ranks back in 1996 is our best player in 2013. Pops scored a tap in, and the last twenty minutes or so had the makings of this game, but alas, no such reward this time.

We all walked out disappointed, but the next game is not too far away. More signings have arrived. The Coach reportedly wants to turn our dressing room back into a dressing room instead of being a social club, and more power to him. Whatever works. It takes time.

Steve From Broady's Under 21's Match Report
South Melbourne's under 21s took on bottom of the league Southern Stars on Sunday afternoon. South looking to bounce back from the last three week's horror performances started off the first half in convincing fashion creating lots of opportunities. In the 33rd minute South finally took one of those chances when Anthony Giannopoulos in his new position of left back ran down the left channel, cut in and fired home to score South's first goal in a month. Seven minutes later Baggio Youssif was played an excellent through ball by the centre mid and he converted convincingly to give South a 2-0 lead.

The scoring was not done yet for the first half - in the last minute of the first half Lajos took a goal kick which flew down the other end of the ground and bounced in front of the keeper, and a lack of communication between the centre back and goal keeper saw the ball go over the keeper, and as the keeper turned he slipped as did the centre back, Baggio made the most of both players slipping and cracked the ball into the back of an empty net, 3-0 to South Melbourne was the score as the teams went in for half time.

Southern Stars come out strong at the start of the second half and were rewarded in the 66th minute when their front man headed home from a corner to get a goal back and make the score 3-1. Southern Stars heaped on the pressure for the next 20 minutes trying to salvage a draw from the game but their hopes were crushed when Baggio completed his hat-trick in the 83rd minute, having the ball played through to him by Solano and finishing nicely in the bottom corner to make it 4-1 South. Southern stars scored a consolation goal in the final minutes to make the final score 4-2 to South Melbourne.

South will have their work cut out for them next week playing the high flying Bentleigh Greens, until then cya next week.

Steve From Broady's Canteen Review
South Melbourne's food van was in the spotlight again this week trying to get some consistency with their souvs and they did with their best souv of the season. Beautiful meat and just the right amount of Tajikistan sauce, the meat was excellently portioned as was the salad and with the souv being in a pita a massive score was undeniable. I give this week's souv a 9, just falling short of perfection, until next week get around it.

1. Pascoe Vale 10/10
2. Hume City 8/10
3. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
4. Northcote City 3.5/10
5. Southern Stars 2/10
6. Green Gully 1/10
7. Dandenong DQ 

South food truck

• Week 1 - 4.5/10
• Week 2 - 7/10
• Week 3 - 8.5/10
• Week 4 - 5/10
• Week 5 - 5.5/10
• Week 6 - 9/10

BIG NEWS IN TWO WEEKS!
The old 'big bombshell tomorrow' craziness has been supplanted by this thing doing the rounds at the moment. I even heard a variation of it at a christening a month ago. What is it exactly? Big A-League news? Are we South Melbourne Heart yet? Death of the FFV?

It's Going To Cost Me How Much?
Have a look at this MFootball article on how much some clubs think the NPLV will cost them. I like the fact that the relevant clubs are doing their homework on this, even if it has elicited more holier than thou grandstanding from North Sunshine.

Neos Kosmos
Neos Kosmos has stopped calling us Ελλας, instead referring to us as Σαουθ Μελμπουρν or some such, while still using the traditional names for teams like Northcote and Port Melbourne. Good for them. Good to see they still have a sense of humour. They'll need it when The Rapture comes.

Next Week
Bentleigh at home. Not expecting much from this game. Come on South, surprise me.

Quote Of The Day
There are ten players out there for South called 'cunt' and one called 'Andy'.

Final Thought
Let the record show that the witness made the 'drinky-drinky' motion.

It's too early for trends, but... - Southern Stars 0 South Melbourne 3

Along with the joy and relief of the win last night - joy for three points and the manner in which of some of that was achieved; relief for not stumbling against this side as we did last year - the acknowledgement that we played against a very poor side must also be taken into consideration. Right from the start, Southern Stars had parked the bus and weren't going to move it. If they could, they probably would have parked their bus at DFO across the road, but such are the petty laws of the game that you restricted to patch of grass about 105 metres long usually not much longer.

They'd done the same against Dandenong Thunder last week, and managed to get a point out of that game. And while for about half an hour it looked like maybe the same fate would befall South, as Stars' goalkeeper and the bounce of the ball conspired to keep the score locked at 0-0. But then Marinos Gasparis' powerful long range shot took a massive deflection, giving the keeper no chance at recovering, and it was 1-0.

At that point, one may have thought that Stars would show some initiative and start playing some soccer, but instead produced more of the same. As a measure of how little Southern Stars troubled the South defence, it took until about the 60th minute for Peter Gavalas to touch the ball last night. Sometimes one is all for the humiliation of an opponent, but at other times even though you want to see your team win and win well, you'd like to see at least some sort of fight from the opposition, to have the feeling that the result was not a fait accompli.

Gasparis' second goal - from what looked like a side footed free kick around a shonky wall - just about iced the game. For whatever reason, South then took the foot off the pedal, and Stars managed to make the odd forward venture, getting close to scoring on perhaps one occasion, but any lingering doubts about the result were put to bed when Shaun Kelly found himself with far too much room at the back post, and scored a lovely scissor/volley into the back of the net.

As much as I spent a fair chunk of last night downplaying the merits of the result, on reflection there were some important things to take out of the game. The high defensive line and manic pressure from the win against Green Gully were there again, but it will be interesting to see how those concepts cope with a team that has the ability to launch quick counter attacks.

Something else to keep in the back of one's mind, is to see how we will cope with falling behind - as well learning to play something else other than the fast paced style. Can we slow it down and still look comfortable? When the game slowed down last night and seemed to be infected by a lack of motivation from both sides, the link up play just didn't have the same fizz and sparkle as when we were going at full steam.

These are the kinds of thoughts of course, given birth by the god of cynicism and the goddess of it's still too early to tell how we'll go this season.

Steve from Broady's Under 21 Match Report

On Saturday night South Melbourne's under 21s took on Southern Stars at Kingston Heath. Coming off their 2-1 loss last week at the hands of Green Gully, the South Melbourne lads started off the game very well, winning several corners early in the first half. South Melbourne looked more and more convincing as the game went on, creating plenty of opportunities for the strikers, but the South Melbourne forwards were unable to convert and the boys went into the sheds at half time 0-0.

South Melbourne started the second half as they did in the first, dominating from the get go and in the 65th minute all the South boys' hard work payed off when Sebit Muon headed home from close range. After South Melbourne took the lead Southern Stars started playing with some more fight, but it didn't last long because in the 71st minute Luis Bulboa scored a cracker for South from long range giving South a 2-0 lead. As the clock wound down Southern Stars looked to have given up and South added to their misery in the 91st minute when Sebit Muon played a beautiful ball to Baggio Yousif to strike home and make the score 3-0 to South Melbourne, and 3-0 it finished to the boys in blue, a well deserved result and a very good bounce back from last week's loss to Green Gully. 

Next week South Melbourne will play Bentleigh Greens away at Kingston Heath, with reports that Trent Rixon might be making his comeback from hip surgery for the under 21s.

Steve from Broady's Canteen Review

This is a segment that will appear every week this season rating and ranking the 12 canteens in the VPL. After not eating at Green Gully last week because of a bad experience a few seasons back with a shit hot dog (which automatically gives Green Gully's canteen a 1/10) I had a kebab at Southern Stars this week and well fuck me, another food tactical disaster with the choice of bread by the Southern Stars canteen men and women. It was some sort of white bread roll that I could compare to say a cheese and bacon roll. The salad in the kebab was OK - the lamb was questionable - it looked like rabbit shit if you know what I mean. The hot food looked standard, so I give the Southern Stars canteen a total of 2/10, very disappointing and a let down from last season's kebab that I had there. Next week it's Bentleigh Greens canteen time to shine. There's a lot of hype about their souv - can they deliver on Friday night when the pressure is on?

1. Southern Stars - 2/10
2. Green Gully 1/10

The Scenic Route
There was track work being undertaken yesterday on the Frankston line, so I decided that I couldn't be bothered changing to a bus at Moorabbin to change to another bus at Cheltenham. Decided to take the Sandringham line out to Hampton, and catch the 828 from there. Took about as long, but you get to see nice scenery as the Sandy train travels along the beach front.

Also had a nice chat with some random who was moving house, talked about such things as racism in society, cultural studies, was sport better in the 70s (OK, that's just poetic licence to play this song), our binge drinking culture, Aboriginal spirituality, the nature of masculinity then and now, and building cars from spare parts in the olden times to go riding around the paddocks of what was then outer Melbourne. His diagnosis was that things for the most part had improved, but that there was still some way to go.

Kingston Heath
The surface was in immaculate condition. Amazing what not being trampled on by a bajillion Hellenic Cup games over the summer can do for a ground.

Around the Grounds
Trundled out to watch Richmond play the Knights on Friday night. It finished 4-1 to the Knights, even though it didn't feel like that sort of game to me - things might have been different had Richmond scored from the spot to make it 2-2 - it was their second failed penalty attempt in as many matches. One Knights fan was sick as a dog on the freeway wing - seemed like one of those cases where he wanted to vomit but nothing would come out. The Knights fans managed to entertain - albeit briefly - with their adaptation of Pink Floyd, chanting 'referee, leave them kids alone' when the referee was trying to defuse a possible melee. A whopping 32 free kicks against the Knights (stat courtesy of Steve from Broady) indicates they will be playing Andrew Marth style this season - which is appropriate since 'Stabba' Marth is coaching them.

Next Week
I wonder how much hype will be built for this game? Another slog out to Kingston Heath, this time to play the free spending Bentleigh Greens, but at least we get these trips out of the way early on in the season. Last year we were in a very similar position, two wins and zero losses, and like last season, one of those wins was against a struggler while another was on a good team.

Last year during round three it all came to pieces though. I'd like to believe there's something different about this team - and I think in the way they link up, and the way they pressure opposing teams, that there is - but we've been here before and capitulated. I know it's easy, especially for me, to play the arch cynic, but it's pretty obvious we're going to find out a lot more about where we stand this year, and where some of our deficiencies may lie, than we have over the previous two matches.

Final Thought
Two from two and still not quite satisfied. It is the South way.

Injury Time Pandemonium - Southern Stars 2 South Melbourne 3

At halftime, I'm not embarrassed to say that I'd written the team off. They had played terribly, gave up a softish goal, and didn't look remotely like being in the game. Well, in this game at least, they proved me wrong, with three second half goals - including two in injury time, to Steve Burton and Nicky Jacobs - pulling us out of the mess we'd made for ourselves.

The result shouldn't paper over the method however, which left a lot to desire. We fell behind twice, and seemed to be making much the same mistakes we have all season. Undermanned though we were, it's always disappointing to change the personnel and still make the same errors.

Still, when the winning goal went in, it created 'AWOL' celebrations among the faithful (and the dutiful; one bloke had ducked out of his nephew's birthday for this), with one person slipping over on the wet grass, and the usual random array of hugging, jumping, yelling, fence thumping etc.

And the winner for best dressed squad goes to...
Southern Stars, who look very sharp in their gray suits, with white shirt and red patterned tie combination. Too bad we haven't got a photo to go with this award.

Fernando De Moraes
He may be getting to the end of his outdoor career, and I haven't been alone in writing him off, but last night he stepped up with his leadership, chasing and tackling, doing all those things that he's never been associated with. Showed a lot of character, and a lot of leadership.

Getting the Ball Back to the Middle After a Goal
Fascinating, maybe just to me, to see none of our players go anywhere near the ball after we'd scored the 2-2 goal.

I Still Don't Know...
Quite how any of our goals were actually scored. In that, yes, I did see the majority if not all of of the sequence, including the balls crossing the line, but that they didn't quite make sense wgen looked at rationally. The first took a deflection and seemingly rolled in; the second was hit well and hard, but hit the post going across the face of goal getting me all confused before eventually crossing the line - I had started celebrating before it had even gone in I think, and then managed to contain myself, then celebrate again all within a very short space of time - our last trip to Kingston Heath, where everyone had thought we had scored the goal of the season before the ball was cleared off the line from point blank range makes such situations very difficult. The last goal was created from sheer will and created utter pandemonium. I'm still buzzing.

Jason Trifiro
Has gone to Western Sydney Wanderers (horrible, Anglocentric, Anglophile name, but I suppose there's a tasty irony in it being the name of the team for all the disenfranchised wogs) so get your 'now who will his brother pass to?' jokes out of your system as soon as possible (I much preferred the line about how it was the Wanderers fans' to say 'he would have scored that at Northcote). For help on speculating on how much he was transferred for, see this link, especially if you're Steve from Broady.

Marinos Gasparis
At halftime, my comment on his entire career was the rather unsubtle, 'stick a fork in him, he's done'. But his second half was decent enough that I was compelled to reconsider that position, albeit on one proviso - that he should never, ever be allowed to pass the ball backwards again. Hell, there should probably be a moratorium on him even passing it sideways. If he sticks to forward passes, no matter how outlandish, he just may have some sort of future at South.

Next Week
Hume City at home, hopefully at least a couple of players back. Of course it's all one week at a time and all that, but they're three points ahead of us in sixth place - a win here could be useful. But before that, tribunal showdown to see if we can get Trent Rixon's suspension reduced, as well as Gus Tsolakis fronting the tribunal to see what punishment, if any, he'll get for his dismissal into the stands against Richmond.

Fresh from scoring the winning goal, Nicky Jacobs waits for his
turn to be interviewed by the SMFCTV. Photo: Gains.

Nicky Jacobs
Just remember, I saw him first. There's no need to go completely over the top with the plaudits and calls for him to be put into the starting eleven, especially when he's still only 17 years old and reportedly focusing on his schooling this year. And it was a bit of a right place. right time scenario (admittedly a skill in itself). Still, it did reiterate that there are worthwhile players to be found in our youth ranks, and while you don't have to give them a starting gig, the occasional decent spell off the bench does not always go astray. Good to also see Trent Rixon giving Nicky instruction from over the fence.

Play the Whistle
I don't know whether Stars' first goal was offside. Certainly our defenders seemed to think so - but that was no reason to stop and call for it, allowing the opposition to waltz through on goal unattended. That kind of stuff pisses me off when I see it at state league two ressies level, not need for that crap in the VPL.

Under 21s
Also 3-2 winners. Had been leading 2-0, until two quick fire goals in as many minutes saw Stars level in the second half, only for a late goal from South.

Zenith

Friday Night Farce - South Melbourne 0 Southern Stars 2

That was pretty dispiriting stuff. Here's this week's rundown.

Advice on Nutritional Supplements for Athletes
Valium is probably not the right thing to be taking before a match.

Beanies
They're navy blue as opposed to our more traditional royal blue (but since there's no official national blue on the Greek flag, it kinda fits that we chop and change), but they're a good size, and when your head is cold and you've somehow lost your previous much loved beanie somewhere on the corner of Kevin Bartlett Reserve and Night Time Junkie Boulevard, you hand over $15 and shut up.

Chants
When you're playing as poorly as we were last Friday, the gimmick chants come out thick and fast, and why not? Pretty much the only worthwhile thing to come out of the game

'You only sing about kebabs'

'Souvlaki's better than kebabs'

'We love our gimmicks when we're losing'

Credit Where It's Due
Everyone predicted that Southern Stars would come out and stack the defence, and while that was certainly true once they were 2-0 up, they had a good 25 odd minutes at the beginning of the match where their clear and simple game plan - which is not a criticism - was working well for them. So well, that they should have scored early on.

At times they strolled past our midfield, who didn't even know how to jockey or hold them up. They played to their strengths, and looked less like a team that was headed straight down from whence they came, than one that would comfortably avoid relegation even if they weren't in finals contention.

Friday Nights
I don't mind them - the stadium looked magnificent under lights, but it's not good for the kids apparently - once again we have to pander to families, even though single people are the largest demographic in the country. We have one more Friday night home game left this season, but I have a hunch we won't be seeing them much next year, if at all.

Gallows Humour
One supporter mentioned to me after the game, that one day we'll probably score the greatest tap in goal of all time.

It's a reminder that at the end of the day, we are playing football, not gymnastics. There's no bonus points for perfect landings, extra twists or degrees of difficulty.

The aforementioned greatest goal of all time will still count the same as every other goal. I'm sure Trent Rixon and his possible probable internet alter ego would agree.

Game Plan

Are we going for the VPL title or a Nobel Prize?

Speaking of style over substance, where's the beef?

Rumour has it that Gus Tsolakis' whiteboard inside our rooms is full of ink. Slathered in it, apparently, so one can scarcely make head or tail of it.

Now, tactics and playing style are important, but it is possible to over think the game, to walk before you can crawl.

There's something to be said for the almost Zen quote attributed to Melbourne Croatia great Josip Biskic: 'put ball in goal'. (from the infamous 'Australian Soccer This Is Your Life' list).

We have one of, if not the widest field in the league. We have the best surface in the league. Yet, we seek to inch perfect football, trying to place passes on dimes, as if we we're playing on a field with the dimensions of a futsal court.

Positive Spin, with Steve from Broady
He's been so demoralised by recent performances that he's gone back to eating Maccas, even after he said he'd quit. His 'Positive Spin' segment has struggled to get off the ground, and yet this should be his milieu.

So I'm just going to do it for him to get him started, by putting into the digital sphere at least one of his utterances about that game. The best he could come up with was that there's always next week. Before adding, we'll get smashed five or six-nil.

I sometimes worry about the effect I've had on him.

Silver Surfers
Rumour has it that the players chose to wear the silver away strip at home because they viewed it as some sort of good luck charm.

Here's how it works, boys. We are blue, and we are white. They are our home colours, and our away colours when there's no clash.

And another thing, I know athletes of all stripes are superstitious gits, but the bottom line is make your own luck. If we're relying on particular to get us over the line, we're stuffed.

True Supporters
What an elusive concept. A lot of abuse was directed at the players and the game plan, especially after the game. Some of it was completely over the top, however , did the players expect to be clapped off?

There are other clubs where people will be satisfied with a good effort, or who will clap their team off regardless of the result. This isn't one of those clubs.

Trent Rixon got fired up, and started dishing out some of his own abuse at the end of the game. Can't fault his efforts during the game, as he looks to be playing at considerably lower than full fitness - a pity though that the same urgency wasn't apparent in the rest of the team.

A woman at the end of the game had the gumption to yell out that those supporters should be ashamed of themselves, that they weren't true supporters. And while, as noted above, that the abuse was sometimes over the top, her assertion really annoyed me.

Since our demotion from the national spotlight, our supporter base has been decimated. Now I'm not arguing for allowing an anything goes approach, whereby no one gets banned, or sanctioned.

But accusing people who've been at just about every game and every ground in this part of our history, of not being true fans, is just ridiculous.

Who made the 16 hour round trips by bus to Canberra to watch a goalless 80 minute match?

Who makes up the 50-100 diehards at a freezing Epping Stadium night match?

When there's no glory of point left at the tail end of another wasted season, who's making the trip to Western Suburbs to watch the youth players get a gig to save on wages??

When the rain and wind bites cold, and the away support is huddled together on the muddy Anderson Road hill at Chaplin Reserve, are you there? Or are you at home in front of the heater, with nary a thought about the match?

And the blather about people being brought back to the club, and being appalled by such behaviour, and therefore never coming back, is nonsense. People like that are soft, and looking for any excuse to avoid going to South matches. Of course, similar behaviour at an A-League or AFL match doesn't prevent them from making repeat visits.

Assuming also that some of these players have ambition of playing in higher ranked leagues, they better get used to dealing with that kind of scrutiny. If they can't handle 20 odd angry men, how will they cope with a few hundred?

The flip side to copping such abuse, is that when the players do good, or at the very least leave nothing out on the pitch, we will shower them with praise. Witness the defence, then praise of the players at the Oakleigh match this season.

We weren't in the game for half an hour, and we were being hacked to pieces as well. The supporters tried to encourage the players, and defend them from the ill-treatment in the only avenue open to them.

And when they came out in the second half and destroyed the home side with scintillating football, we cheered and admired their persistence and their performance, without reservation.

It's not fickleness per se; it's the natural emotional response from a segment of the faithful, some of whom, like myself, have nothing else worthwhile in their lives.

Zenith
I wish we could forget, but we can't. See all you true supporters at Epping on Friday.