Are you not entertained? Well, now that you mention it... - South Melbourne 2 Melbourne Knights 1

One South fan decided to come up with their own
hospital treatment plan. Who said watching
South Melbourne was bad for your health?

OK, look. It wasn't great, I think we can all agree with that. The effort was there for the most part, even from some of those who we love to single out when they don't put in. You know who I'm talking about. Yeah, that guy, but not only that guy, but especially that guy.

Anyway, apart from some stupid tackles - and congratulations to Knights' Damien Miskulin for getting himself sent off against us for the second time this season - this didn't have much of a 'derby' feel. Everyone at South seems too jaded to care, while Knights were out of the running for finals, and have a much more important game (to them at least) coming up on Wednesday.

There was even cross-cultural happenings between a couple of MCF who wandered over to Clarendon Corner for a very friendly chat - and there is absolutely no euphemism, allegory, metaphor or other reality distorting literary double meaning on there.

We had the better of the contest as you'd expect. Our first goal seemed, to me at least, more or less inevitable, even if Milos Lujic had missed a sitter just before it. Things were going along much as you'd expect - though the bizarre indifference of the entire South team to an injured Manolo was there for everyone to notice - and then the Knights went down to ten men.

Of course that's the cue for someone to press the self-destruct button, and we copped a goal within minutes. From a free kick on the edge of the box no less - and not even a particularly well taken one - which if we had such an opportunity ourselves we would butcher, but it's no use crying over it especially when the only continuing contributor to South of the Border at this time also supports a team with Travis Cloke in it. The world is full of disappointments.

Then we ran around like headless chooks for a bit, like we were trying trying to find our bearings like we'd just going on the tea cup ride a dozen times. Eventually we either kind of remembered that Knights weren't really trying, or the team reacted to the building hostility of the crowd, or someone pressed ctrl-alt-del, and shut down Windows Explorer in the Task Manager and got everything going again. The second goal however still seemed unlikely, until someone - Marcus Schroen, in this case - did something unlikely, that being putting in a decent cross, with Matthew Millar on hand to nod it home.

We still tried to throw the game away in what little time was left, but wouldn't you know it, we didn't. A win's a win and those of us without black holes for hearts will enjoy it, even if one has to go back all the way to round 13 for the last time we picked up a win against a fellow top six side. At the end of the game as we were walking out, one of the uniformed police officers at the game - I assumed initially that they were they there as an overhang from the old boy Socceroos vs Copperoos curtain raiser - was on the phone, or radio or Krusty brand walky-talky, saying 'no flares, and no incidents'. Everyone happy then, or close enough to what can reasonably expect.

An artist's conception of two Chris Taylor hating South fans attempting to
 have a possible 2016 South Melbourne grand final victory end up in a forfeit.

We're gonna lose!
Now some people - not me, mind you - seem to be very close to crossing that line where they want us to lose, because they may deem that such a happening will hasten the end of Chris Taylor's tenure as South manager, and perhaps take down a whole bunch of people with him. Hey, it's their call, and what with South of the Border being too scared to oppress people for having contrary opinions the way we should be oppressing them, we're not going to be too judgmental. It's been a long week. Hell, it's been a long season. Which would make it all the more hilarious if somehow pull off a Portugal and storm stumble accidentally pull off a grand final win despite performances of abject mediocrity. And there will be few gladder about such a win than yours truly, not out of any sense of jaded hipster misanthropy, but because it'll mean another notch on the South title belt. That it would be done via second or third or fourth place would just make it that much sweeter. Any saltiness - is that how the kids say it these days, saltiness? - would be a bonus.

Having said that, everyone knows we're going to tank in the finals, so there's no point getting our hopes up. There, covered all the bases.

Next game

Pascoe Vale away on Friday night.

Marketing idea no. 8733b
So in the early part of the season, we get what, one or two marketable warm weather home games where people turn up like it's Orthodox Easter in Melbourne - that is, their one obligatory appearance at church, or in South's case, to pick up their memberships. But after that comes the grand prix, and we get locked out of Lakeside for several weeks, and whatever whatever momentum we may have had. So how do create a sense of momentum again? I'm thinking we lobby for two home games at the start of April after the grand prix, and market our matches as being part of the Comedy Festival. It'll be avant garde (read, improvisational), interactive (get to feel like you're at a soccer match) and totally meta what with the match being the play within the play so to speak. And let's not undersell the comedy value of a South match day experience.

The answer to one of my questions
I asked, and got no answer, but then I asked again - or maybe overheard a conversation - and found out all I needed to know. Remember how I was banging on about the mystery of the split paths leading out of the players race? Well, it was apparently done because the area of the pitch where the players came onto the field had gotten very muddy or something, and they didn't want the players treading all over that. Makes sense, even if it's a bit anti-climactic.

Around the grounds
If you get one up his butt, it's a million points
Headed to the Δόξα Yarraville vs East Altona ΠΑΟΚ match on Saturday afternoon. Tried to work out what was wrong with South in 2016 with some of the locals. Reminisced, too, about the first time I used a media pass - or was it just a standard FFV pass? - to get into Paisley Park. Copped some indirect grief from one of the blokes manning the gate about people coming in with freebies. Freebies! Do they not know how hard it is to make such dire contests read like a Homeric epic? There were no moments of 'Mighty Sonny Kul, midfielder relentless' or 'Whoever Yarraville's number 7 was, ingenious creator of destruction'. Hmm, maybe I should give up applying Homer to soccer and leave that Fay Zwicky? This was a terrible game of soccer, lacking skill, entertainment, aggression or any of the other qualities that make soccer worthwhile for spectators. It made one feel utterly apologetic for suggesting to one's friends that attendance at this match, part of the relegation scramble, would be a worthwhile experience. The two teams couldn't even manage to hit the Rolls Royce parked adjacent to the field - didn't they get the memo from FFV that the team that knocked off the hood ornament would get a immunity from relegation?

Time for FFV to get serious on insidious scam
I don't care if they're rigged - in fact I just about expect it - but if clubs are going to sell raffle tickets for bottles of scotch and such, then the very least they can do is announce the winning ticket over a public address system, or get someone with a white-board to walk around the terraces announcing the winning number. Time to start docking points for non-compliance with this royal decree I reckon. Before any South people come hunting after me, I'm talking about pleb suburban Greek clubs here, not Hellas, OK? OK.

Scanning news, of a sort
Nothing new to share, but they tell me Victoria University's new ultra deluxe scanning machine is almost here... looking forward to scanning some stuff that deserves better treatment than what my old Canon 3-in-1 can provide.

Hooped socks

Got gifted a pair of BLK blue and white hooped socks by a reader of South of the Border and fellow South fan at the game, and let me say, that they are a quality product. Cheers!

Final thought
In 50 years time this match will be known as the place where the South Melbourne Hellas and Melbourne Croatia merger talks started taking place. Good grief, you think you've seen everything.

Deep Fried Anonymous Goo - South Melbourne 10 Keysborough 0

The crowd for our match, the first of a Saturday afternoon doubled header, was somewhere between 126 and 152 persons. Our starting line-up included eight changes from the team that started against Bulleen. Michael Eagar, Luke Adams and Milos Lujic started, with many other fringe players getting an extended run. Still, as one person noted, one could make the assertion that Lujic started as an insurance policy, while also asking where Kristian Konstatinidis was.

Nevertheless, we won this game easily as was expected of us, though we also butchered several opportunities going forward. All things considered, few of those fringe players really impressed, although some folk were pleased with Philzgerald Mbaka's ball skills, and Leigh Minopoulos was hungry, although also wayward and rusty. Still, Minopoulos' thieving of a Marcus Schroen shot that was already heading for goal was an indication of a certain keenness for the battle in a match in which we never had to exert ourselves.

Despite the odd lusty tackle from Keysborough, I assume none of the players that we used got anything other than the usual knocks you receive after playing a game of soccer. Iqi Jawadi was not even listed on the bench, and neither Brad Norton, Tim Mala nor the Peoples' Champ were used if they were at all listed. After the match Chris Taylor and his Senior Football Adviser ended up at the canteen almost as quickly as I did. Did the Cardinals' get close to scoring? There was some sort of action at the opposite end of the field early in the second half, but it wasn't really clear what was happening. They had a go, and their goalkeeper was able to have a laugh with Clarendon Corner behind the goals.

Other highlights included: a penalty shout which included a lot of animated pointing to the spot on the ground where one of our players believed the foul had taken place; several Zaim Zeneli chants; an inane discussion on politics which stopped short of discussing whether the BDS movement is justified in its actions; the assistant referee giving us a smile, but no wave; and the compulsory appearance during the second half of Heidelberg United coach George Katsakis or one of his Saddam Hussein-esque body doubles - either way, credit must go to George for coming to more of our games than many of our so called fans, especially those who prefer living it up on the internet.

The draw for the next round, which will be a midweek affair played some time in late April I think, will probably take place on Monday. Only one NPL team was eliminated, which was Northcote (see the 'around the grounds' segment), but some of the low hanging fruit of NPL2 also got eliminated or otherwise failed to impress even winning their fixtures.

Still, we'll probably get drawn against Melbourne Knights again. To which all one can say to the corrupt FFV and FFA lackies who will be responsible for that farce is 'make it so'.

Next game
Richmond away on Thursday night, the same night at the Socceroos play Tajikistan in Adelaide. So you can either go to Adelaide and see a horrible match alongside horrible people, or come to Kevin Bartlett Reserve instead.

AGM this Wednesday night at 7:00PM
To attend, you must have been a financial member of the club in 2015. Last time around I think I spent a lot of time making silly tweets. Maybe I'll take more notes this time.

South Melbourne online merchandise store now available
Head to this link. If items appear to be missing (for me, it was the replica jerseys for some reason, maybe because a non-conformist browser), just do a search for South Melbourne on the site and they will should come up in the results. I have been told that items such as hoodies, jackets, tracksuits, heritage tops will also be available at some point, even if you can't quite see them now...

Update
Thanks to Geordie Hellas to alerting us to the fact that if you click on the 'pre-order- tab, you can see the various replica kit options.

Dim sim disappointment during the intermission

Fancy dim sims at @NorthcoteCity #FFACup pic.twitter.com/uVsv7cp352

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

With the spreading popularity and availability of the South Melbourne dim sim, we have seen certain imitators try to carve out a niche of their own in the large dim sim market. I had been told that these were tasty, and the packaging too was very promising - if the probably highly racist caricature on the paper bag was any indicator. However the product itself was incredibly disappointing. Apart from the people working in the Northcote canteen not cooking them through properly, which required me to throw out the two dimmies I had purchased, the meaty filling was mostly a bland sludge.

International Year of the Fence

Fence at John Cain Memorial Park #FFACup #fencegate #fencebitters #internationalyearofthefence pic.twitter.com/gdAZHHzQ5o

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

As with Port Melbourne's fence the other week, I would like to know how exactly a metal fence gets a hole in it like that. Any thoughts on what it would take for that kind of damage to occur is more than welcome.

The ox is slow, but the earth is patient

Still no seat or back window at bus stop opposite Darebin International Sports Centre. @ptv_official pic.twitter.com/4peZp7qaVb

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

As it was when we visited Northcote a few weeks ago. Someone at Public Transport Victoria's getting the sack (or at least a demotion) when this tweet goes viral.

Scurrilous gossip department
Which South Melbourne committee member has allegedly told his wife that he's quit smoking, only to be seen smoking like a chimney at John Cain Memorial Reserve yesterday?

Need more umlauts
I think it's time that Marcus Schroen became Märcüs Schröen. More metal.

Tibbzy FC
Make of this whatever you will. A warning however for those of you who get set sick easily when watching dizzy camera work - this has a truckload of that.


Around the grounds
I had a photo for this segment, but something went wrong
Of those few South fans who had turned up to the South Melbourne-Keysborough match, few stayed behind to watch was expected to be one of the more closely contested cup ties of this round, that being the match between NPL struggler Northcote and NPL2 West mid ranking side St Albans. Now these teams had previously had a level of rivalry, even animosity, which I considered more or less confined to Northcote's Trent Rixon era, but the 'we hate Northcote' chant from the Dinamo fans on the hill suggested the resentment continued, at least from their side. Put very simply, everyone knew that Northcote would lose this game, and that it was only a matter of how and when St Albans would break the deadlock. That it took until well into the second half, and only after several crosses narrowly missed by both sides, made the game more interesting as a spectacle. The winning goal, when it did come, was actually atypical of the kind of play that had taken place up to that point - an ambitious long range strike hit the crossbar, rebounding to a bloke who used to struggle to score goals when he was at Altona East, who had an easy tap in. Since Northcote can't buy a goal in 2016 - just one so far from five matches, and that was from a penalty - that was the game there and then.

Final thought
'Where were the hooped socks?', lamented one of the members of Clarendon Corner yesterday. Where indeed.

Sunshine and Gloom - South Melbourne 6 Heidelberg United 0

A strange game, which was hard to enjoy at times for reasons not related to the game. Still, any match when you get to see George Katsakis blow a gasket ('a mechanical seal which fills the space between two or more mating surfaces, generally to prevent leakage from or into the joined objects while under compression') is worthwhile. Heidelberg had more of the ball, especially in the first half hour or so, and had us scrambling to clear balls from our own penalty area - and with a bit of luck they should have had a goal or two. As it turned out, we were unusually clinical in our counter attacks, and went into half-time 4-0 up and with an extra man on the field.

References to local and international geography and an alternative
design for the Australian flag.  Photo: Cindy Nitsos

Three of those goals were down to The People's Champion, providing temporary alleviation to the question of where are the goals going to come from apart from Milos Lujic. Whether said People's Champ should have even been out there yesterday after being red carded last week against Bentleigh in the Community Shield, is an interesting question. Clearly the bloke is un-bannable, certainly not by the club and not by the league either, a fact we may as well make the most of. Unusually, he was one of the players thanking the fans along the fence after the match. Θα χαλάσει ο καιρός as my mum would say.

At the other end of the field, even though the Bergers had some good chances to score, by and large the defence was solid. Goalkeeper Nikola Roganovic in particular had an excellent match, pulling out several good saves. But really, after you beat your oldest rival by a record margin - beating the 5-0 hammering we gave them at Middle Park during the 1991/92 season - there's really no point in looking too deeply for the negatives or potential weaknesses, especially so early on in the season. Those will reveal themselves as the year elapses as a matter of course. Chances are that Heidelberg aren't as bad as that scoreline suggests either.

I was pleased to see such a good crowd, though I won't put a number on it, and sadly our crowd counter from 2015 has hung up his green eyeshades. The now annual custom of not having our full range of merchandise available for round 1 is a continuing pain in the arse. Apart from round 1 being everyone's best trading day, our lack of early season home fixtures compounds the problem. Membership collection was not a problem, though I did get to the ground reasonably early. This year barcodes have given way to cards that need to be clipped. Word went round at one stage that we ran out of membership cards; but then again St Gerry's who were serving loukoumades also ran out of crushed walnuts. So it goes.

Next week
Northcote away on Saturday evening  A 5:00PM kickoff at Northcote seems a little insane to be honest. While the days are still relatively long, what happens if it becomes suddenly overcast? Would the meagre lighting at John Cain be able to do the trick?

Post-coital afterthoughts

Also confirmation that our AGM will be held on Wednesday 23 March - further details will be released in the upcoming week

— South Melbourne FC (@smfc) February 21, 2016

While we're on the topic
Yesterday, myself and another South supporter, Foti Stavrakis, circulated a petition calling for an Extraordinary General Meeting to take place. This was due to the constant delay by the board on the announcement of an AGM date, as well as the lack of any information on the issues of the social club and lease situations.

In the call for an EGM, we decided to keep things relatively simple. We wanted a statement on the financial details of the club as they were at the end of the most recent financial year, as well as now. We wanted an update to the social club and lease issues. We also asked for the situation regarding our part in the re-unification with the women's team to be dealt with. We also included the condition that should the club call an AGM during that time frame we would be happy to have the call for an EGM put aside.

Our aim with the petition was to be low-key, non-confrontational, and to primarily circulate it among those we knew and affiliates of such. In future, should the need arise to do this again - and I hope it doesn't - we would aim to circulate such a document to a wider selection of members. After amassing what we understood to be the minimum number of signatures - 40 - in order to successfully compel the club to call an EGM, we presented the list of signatures to president Leo Athanasakis, who informed us that an AGM date had already been decided. We were glad to hear that a date had been announced, but like many of you, we find it hard to such a comment take at face value considering the already significant delays.

While we wait to see whether or not the club actually does call an AGM, Foti and I would like to thank everyone who signed our petition. At the very least, your signatures mean that we have an insurance policy should the club not call an AGM. More importantly, it is a demonstration that there is a desire within the South Melbourne membership to take a more active interest in the club's affairs, and not allow the board to have complete carte blanche over how it runs our club.

A related and belated word on where and when South Melbourne exists
Going through a process like this reminds one that South Melbourne Hellas is a living, breathing entity. It is not merely memories to be brought up on Twitter or Facebook. It is not a museum exhibit of life as it was 12 years ago, or 25 years ago, or 50 years ago. People from other clubs can be excused to a degree if they treat it as such. Those who still claim to be South fans however cannot. If you calcify the club in this way, you also calcify yourself. Yes, 1991 was great. But the present matters, too. You can make all the excuses in the world for not being here now, or you can come to the games, swell the numbers, help the club, and see that we're still more than alive. Waiting on the sidelines merely hoping that things will improve by themselves or because of the efforts of those already attending is just a cop-out.

The higher costs of NPL living
Since we are about to embark on our customary early season streak of away fixtures, it is worth noting the maximum adult ticket price for NPL matches has increased to $15. It will be interesting to see how many clubs will choose to go up to that level - my guess is most of them. Of course patrons visiting Lakeside in the last few seasons already had to pay more because of the Ticketmaster surcharge, which is probably what lead to last year's trial of variable pricing across the board.

On the plus side, Ticketmaster is apparently no longer in charge of ticketing at Lakeside, which while it probably won't mean the lowering of ticket prices at South Melbourne, will hopefully at least mean that the club will be able to pre-print tickets and thus facilitate quicker entry at the ticket booths than the gloriously tedious process of the past few seasons.

Keeping up to date in this fast paced, 24/7, digital world of ours
Those of you among the Twitterati should by now be aware that the FFV is no longer providing score updates for NPL matches. Instead, their new account @FFV365 will be re-tweeting whatever competing clubs and media accounts bother to publish during all Victorian matches. What this means is that some matches will be much better covered than others.

It's quite plain to see that with hundreds of matches each week, that the @FFV365 account will eventually get overwhelming for some users. It may be best to stick then only with select club based or media accounts, or use the Futbol24 app for following only NPL score and key incident updates. Either way, for those who like a bit more detail in our tweets, we will be disappointed when we hope to follow matches that aren't being covered by clubs, or where we don't find out the names of the scorers.

South Melbourne media team need to work on their photographic filters
Last year we had the situation whereby our red vee heritage top came out looking decidedly pink in the media photos. This year we had the situation where our home tops as presented in the online media release looked like a sickly pastel blue instead of our traditional royal blue, causing a small amount of disgust and panic among the supporters. Yet on game day, the colour of the strips looked fine. Nice touch with the hooped socks, too. You know, while we're talking about the important things.

Match programmes
I have completed uploading the batch of NSL cup final and NSL league finals series booklets lent to me by The Agitator stretching back from our last NSL game in 2004 to a rare 1980 NSL souvenir brochure. I have also uploaded several home match programmes from 1993/94. In addition to those, after flicking through one of my bookshelves I found copies of three programmes from 2014 - the South Hobart NPL finals match, and the women's knockout cup and grand final programmes. I've also uploaded the first ten editions of 1990s Australian soccer fanzine Studs Up,  all of which are searchable thanks to the magic of text recognition.

One procedural achievement in this process was finally learning how to use the university's scanner to make collated PDFs, which will come in handy when having to deal with large documents which don't fit in my home scanner. Catching up with Mark Boric over the weekend has meant that I've also been able to upload four or so match programmes from the early 2000s and 1997/1998 and Mark's Richmond vs South Melbourne VPL era match programmes.

There's more material to come, as more people show the generosity by lending me stuff to scan. Finally, apologies to Balgownie Rangers, who had some issues trying to access the 1960s copies of Soccer World I have stored in the 'library'. Inexplicably these were not set as 'shared' as they should have been, but hopefully that issue has been sorted out now.

Around the grounds
#fencegate #fencebitters
So a healthy crowd of western suburbs soccer folk turned up to Somers Street on Friday night to see a fence. A fence! But not just any old fence. It was a new fence! A new fence symbolising modernity and gentrification! No more internment camp feel! Basically, a fence which stands for everything that the Knights stand against. Anyway, it was a good thing that the new fence was there as an added attraction, because this game was pretty rubbish now that I think about it. That last half hour, especially after Knights equalised against the run of expectation even if not the run of play, was especially dire, as both teams went about demonstrating how they'd forgotten how to play soccer. Based on this highly scientific sample size, Knights will be lucky to finish higher than 10th, while Gully will make finals because there are six slots and someone has to fill them.

And with strange aeons even death may die
Poetry and football are suffered only by the living, and each of these curses will only be sated once the living have been disposed of. We hope to hear words crafted into something ethereal, but must deal mostly with doggerel. We hope to see smooth, free flowing play, but must deal with matches so turgid that even their potential agricultural purities become coarse and unpalatable, as is often case at Chaplin Reserve. Moreland City, with a fit Trent Rixon, didn't do enough to win. Sunshine George Cross, with an overweight Ahmet Turer, did enough not to lose. Those present to mourn the loss of their friend probably had other things on their minds.

Final thought
I guess you just had to be there. Not that I was, but I'm reliant on other people's imaginations as it is,

The time has come...

...for South Melbourne Heart!

Now this is a Facebook page that could surely do with a bit more publicity.

Previously, we here at South of the Border have covered the 'South should merge/takeover with Heart' phenomenon only sparingly, and with the utmost reluctance. Most notably, there was the moment of comic relief at the end of the 2012 AGM blog entry, from January 2013. More substantially, there was this article from December last year.

Still, most of the talk on this issue is refers to possible takeover plans rather than a merger, so it's nice to see someone put up the merger point of view, if only for a bit of variety. On their page they've put up videos from both teams, tried to come up with a home strip - the Paraguay national team style thing on the right hand side, with hooped socks no less - and one person, I assume the page's creator, tried to post a comment on the official South Facebook page in order to advocate for this idea. Sadly, it appears that comment was taken down by one of the humourless drones who monitor that page.

And even though we disagree with this idea on principle, we'll be keeping an eye on seeing how much support - legitimate or otherwise - this campaign is able to muster up.

PS.
And then, just as I hit submit and schedule this article for a later date, someone comes up with this. Good grief. How long until this nonsense ends?

PPS.
And then the Facebook page's creator puts up a thread on the Heart forum, which quickly gets locked. Need him to post a comment here, lol.

Google Translate

This is pretty much only for the Greek speaking and reading folks out there. Some random reader recently translated a post in here, which in turn translated several of the labels on the right hand side. See if you can figure out what they're all supposed to be, and have fun. I was going to be in a lot more, but decided to go for what I thought was the cream of the crop.

1. Τώρα Ακρόπολης
2. Όλα τα λευκά
3. Brisbane απεργούς (my personal favourite)
4. Πασπαλισμένο με φρυγανιά Πικάντικες Πτέρυγα κοτόπουλο
5. Doug Καφέ
6. Frankston Πεύκα
7. Κατεψυγμένα δάκρυα 
8. Πράσινο και του Στρατού Gold 
9. Καταπράσινη ρεματιά
10. Χαϊδελβέργη Φίλε Laser 
11. Hooped Κάλτσες 
12. James Σπανός 
13. Φιλί του θανάτου 
14. Μεγάλα Έργα Βικτώρια 
15. Ο κ. Cleansheets
16. Κανείς δεν μας αρέσει εμάς δε μας ενδιαφέρει 
17. Φυστίκι Man
18. Κολοκύθα Eaters Σπόρων 
19. ΚΠΡ
20. Πίνακας αποτελεσμάτων  
21. Sno Κώνοι
22. Η ηλικία 
23. Δυτικά του Σίδνεϊ Μούρα

What it chooses to translate is too random. Some Greek names are entirely in English; others half and half; others still, entirely in Greek. The same word or phrase will sometimes be translated into Greek, while other times it's just left alone. And then, just when you thought it couldn't get any stupider, some obviously not-Greek names, like Ante Kovacevic, get the full Greek treatment. Going through this has also reminded me of how much crap I have written.

Honouring our takeover of Melbourne Hakoah

These South Melbourne Adidas members polos are top notch.
Just one thing though.
Have you seen the logo?
I mean, really looked at it?
Four stars as is normal.
But four stars now with six points as opposed to the previous and customary five.
Not quite Star of David, but pretty close.
Subtle. Hooped socks and a red v away top can't be too far away.
You know it makes sense.

What we think learned yesterday

Not much really. Games at Lakeside this year? Not many. Location of the relocation? Not for public dissemination, yet. Memberships? Soon. Merchandise? Soon enough. Hooped shirt ala Jim Marinis' beloved Queens Park Rangers, just for something different (and with the right kind of sponsor logo, would look very good)? Maybe some day. Red V as an away strip? Not on your life. Hooped socks? I'm the only one who cares, it seems. Cocktail parties? All the rage apparently. The furrowed brows, darting between offices and internal wrangling that goes on about every minute detail? Limitless. Dense elaboration of private conversations? Never.

No Hooped Socks - South Melbourne 4 Whittlesea Zebras 0

No hooped socks. What a let down.

Anyway, the rest of the strip looked tip top.

The goals we did score were of a decent quality.

The shots we fluffed were a disgrace.

We kept a clean sheet.

And now we have a bit of a break.

There better be hooped socks this week - Round 16, South vs Zebras

Last Time They Met

Round 5? Yeah, that was it I think. It was at Lakeside even though it was the Zebras home game because the FFV and associated types didn't think the Whittlesea Zebras playing in the last two seasons were the Whittlesea Zebras anymore. Or ever. Or something.

Whittlesea Zebras 1 South Melbourne 3

Hey, at least we won the game.

Preview

What I mean to say is that this week, much to the annoyance of some douchebags, we'll be wearing a version of our first strip because it's Foundation Week or Day or Round or something. Probably not Foundation Day though, because that would be sometime during January or February. Foundation Day was also the name of my former high school's fete/muck round/waste of time day, when we celebrated Jeff Kennett forcibly merging two high schools and two technical schools to create a public school which increasingly started behaving like a private school in its advertising, presentation and public demeanour. Well that's what I thought at the time anyway; I've lost contact with pretty much all of that eight years on.

Anyway, Foundation Day was... nah, you don't care about what that was all about do you.? How the guess how many lollies in the jar comp was rigged? The cheap cinnamon donuts left after the eating contest. Being compelled to watch a crappy movie if you didn't want to mingle with the kool kids at the disco. Bushwhacked anyone? And is it just me, or do heaps of these dropkicks or working class types in American films have Polish names? Probably just me. Anyway. Because there's a game on this week, maybe we should have a loot at that.

The Zebras are shite, but not as shite as Preston. Which means we should win, but we probably won't, because we're all over the shop at the moment.

The 50th anniversary game of the century! Round 2, South Melbourne vs Heidelberg United

Last Time They Met
Preview
I've been too busy giving the bourgeoisie hell in working class writing this week to type out something meagingful. Ok, that's not entirely true. Just on Friday afternoons. And spent the rest of the time doing the following
1. Arguing with Hellas fans
2. Trying to get smfcboard opened up
3. Arguing with Melbourne Knights fans
4. Dropping a subject I was somehow enrolled in twice.
5. Adding heaps of people on Facebook.
6. Knocking back invitations to join some crew in Mob Wars
7. Telling that summer league agenda spouting twat Teo Pellizzeri to answer the damn question.
8. Getting reeady to join the Offset 2009 crew.
9. And other things.
Anyway, I provided plenty of stuff for this week, so get off my back. Should be a good game but. We'll be wearing the red and white jersey of South Melbourne United this week. The question on everyone's lips though: will there be hooped socks? It's the hooped socks that make the original South Melbourne Hellas strip complete and well balanced aesthetically.