More than a bit of waffle on idiosyncratic forms of Australian soccer chauvinism

This week, in posting nothing even particularly inflammatory, which I'm more than capable of doing - some of it was just quoting choice elements of news articles on social media about Western United's ongoing issues with its creditors - I was accused of being bitter. Me! Bitter! Well, yes, I am. Of course I am. But I would like to think that there's more nuance to my bitterness than a simple slur like "bitter" can allow.

Right from the start, I should note that it is self-evidently both stupid and pointless (a winning combination if I've ever seen one) to engage with arguments and commentary that appear to be made in obvious bad faith, or at least based upon only skimming through the compulsory texts set for the course. If I were being reasonable about the whole thing, and I like to think I'm usually quite reasonable, I wouldn't expect any of my social media or actual social interlocutors, occasional or otherwise, to have read South of the Border from start to finish (please don't ever do that); that includes not even at the very least the good bits that people used to once share to their friends and enemies with the phrase "Mav nails it again".

So, I understand why I might get lumped in with people who are genuinely more aggro and aggrieved about the state of Australian soccer and especially South Melbourne's place in it than I am. Being lumped in with the more obnoxious online South fans used to frustrate me more when I was more engaged with the work of writing about Australian soccer, but back then there was also the reassurance that someone might chirp up with a "well, Paul's not like the others". How smug did I feel after those moments! But time and passivity can erode even the most hard won reputation. That makes it sound like I'm crying for my "nice bitter guy" reputation even more than I cry for South's reputation, and I suppose there's some truth to that. 

My reputation, limited as it was to being the "thinking Australian soccer fan's bitter" - sort of like the Lloyd Braun of bitters - went to great lengths to differentiate itself from the boastfulness seemingly inherent to South Melbourne Hellas and its supporters. But time moves on, and my reputation is no longer of concern, because I pretty much don't write anymore. So if I'm not worth engaging with, as some of my recent deriders seem to believe, then my message to them is: don't engage! It seems so obvious, and yet that is the social media nicotine impulse, isn't it? Someone of no consequence has said something stupid or disagreeable (about Australian soccer! of all the things to get upset about!) on the internet, and they must be corrected and chastised, for the betterment of all humanity.

So the bad faith arguments persist. It's even more frustrating when both sides of the argument clearly don't think that their opponents are arguing in good faith. Of course, calling it an argument is giving such discourse far too much dignity and credit; there really isn't much meaningful discourse about the topic. Getting involved with the sickly remnants of this new dawn/bitter divide is stupid and pointless in part because the new dawn has won, and quite comprehensively. Some South fans - the ones I've recently been lumped in with - would disagree, but it's so clear that, the novelty of a short Australian Championship fling aside (I should write something about that, maybe), Australian soccer has for the most part been drawn in the new dawn image. Yet so much of the engagement on these topics (at least within my social media vicinity) remains based around winding other people up, or trying to score brownie points with your own side by making yet another histrionic comment on social media. 

Meanwhile, I thought that my trademark casual flippancy was positively urbane by comparison; perhaps such nuances aren't as appreciated as they used to be.

Now on to a much more serious allegation. In addition to being accused of being bitter (fair), I was also accused of hating the A-League (mostly fair), and yet also with being obsessed with that competition despite my seeming/apparent/feigned (take your pick) interest in it. Well, yes and no. It depends on the day of the week and how well the competition is doing. Being slightly less flippant about the topic, I admit that the worse that the A-League does, the more interesting it is to me. Right now, the Western United situation aside, the A-League is not particularly interesting to me. The A-League is generally doing fine, and has been for a long time. Sometimes it does better, sometimes it does worse. It's not perfect, sure: it loses money hand over fist, crowds go up and then down very suddenly, and the TV deal ain't worth much. But that's no different to most minor and secondary soccer leagues around the world, especially those dependant on corporate philanthropy to keep them afloat.

Holding this general opinion of the A-League's mostly adequate health, as an otherwise bitter South fan, doesn't always go over well with other bitter South fans, especially those who are of a similar age to myself. For some reason, it especially doesn't go over well with Ian Syson, who likely thinks it to be mere contrarianism on my part; some last vestigial limb of the much, much younger me's penchant of arguing for the sake of arguing.

But regardless of how healthy the A-League actually is, the A-League has been around for twenty years now. The National Soccer League was around for 27. How long until those of our people actually death-riding the A-League finally get the hint that the A-League isn't going anywhere? Again, I suppose the answer lies in the question of how close South is to getting into the comp at any given point in time - the closer (in our imaginations at least) that we are, say during a semi-bona fide bidding process, then the more viable the A-League magically becomes; the further away we are (most of the rest of the time), the less viable the A-League seems to be unless it dramatically reforms itself to such an extent that, conveniently, the involvement or inclusion of South Melbourne is able to solve some or even many of the competition's problems.

It's the rather absurd and persistent and hardly unnoticed irony that the A-League's biggest haters (at least from those outside the A-League tent) so desperately want to be a part of it. People pointing this out sometimes do so thinking they've found the winning bit of well-observed satire that will once and for all take down the whole "South Melbourne supporter who's obsessed with hating the A-League" faction. But it's not a new observation, and it's not going to do the trick, just like counting A-League crowds off a TV screen isn't going to be the thing that kills off an A-League team. 

But back to me and my particular position on the whole thing. I don't much care for the A-League both as it is now, and as it has been since its inception. To understand my position on the matter though, one must separate the on-field aspect from the off. I could not give a stuff about what happens on the field. It does not concern me. I wish no one involved with it either well or ill. I really, seriously do not care, except on the rare occasions I am in the vicinity of A-League programming or in-person discussion, and I mostly try to ignore it, with often poorly disguised petulance.

But I don't care for the on-field aspect for much the same reason that I don't care for most soccer leagues outside Victoria, whether here or overseas. I don't care for the A-League in the same way that I, as a Victorian fan of Australian rules football, don't care about the SANFL or the WAFL. There's no hook for me, no connection. I tried connecting with Victory way back when, but it just didn't take. It didn't resonate with me on emotional, aesthetic, political, moral, or on whatever other grounds you can think of. That experience of not-resonating helped me understand the point of view of those who could not (and not just would not) connect to South or any ethnic club, even though it really shouldn't have taken that first season A-League sojourn to make that empathetic realisation. All sorts of reasoning (some fair, some absolute rubbish) can be attached to trying to make sense of why one couldn't attach themselves to it, but really, you either feel it, or you don't. Trying to convince yourself that you care or that you should care is not a good sign.

Would I change my view on the A-League if South Melbourne was allowed to participate in it, as South Melbourne, with no gimmicks? I probably would, even with having to deal with VAR; after all, pretty much everyone has a price. But that change of view wouldn't be only, or even mostly because I am a South Melbourne supporter, though of course it'd be a large part of it: it'd be because including South Melbourne in the A-League would fundamentally alter what the A-League is about, even if South Melbourne was a small club within the competition rather than the medium-sized fish that it was in the small sludgy pond that was the NSL. The A-League would fundamentally change if any of the major old ethnic clubs somehow made the jump. If it was Sydney Olympic or Marconi or Preston who somehow got in instead of us, I still probably wouldn't watch the A-League. But I could acknowledge that there was a pathway, and a significant cultural shift within the code at that level because of the addition. If I were to remain resentful about South's ongoing exclusion, then the resentment, too, would have to take a different form. 

But there's no sign of that ever being anything other than a vague hypothetical. So, if I don't care about the on-field aspects of the A-League, and if South has basically Buckley's of getting into it, then why do I (or any bitter for that matter) pay any attention to the A-League as an organisation at all? The answer to that question is so obvious, that it's insulting to have to point it out; but since the people who bring this point up are either being deliberately obtuse about the issue, or are actually that ignorant, here's the answer:

Because I, and we, have to.

It's very much like living in Victoria as an AFL-hating soccer fan, and pretending that the AFL does not exist. Or even worse, being an AFL-hating soccer fan from outside of Victoria, who has no clue not just about how powerful the AFL is economically in this state. but especially how pervasive Australian rules is to this city on a cultural level. The game of Australian rules has grown up symbiotically with the city of Melbourne; to understand one is to understand the other. I bring this point up only because one of my interlocutors made a point of me being an AFL fan, as if that was not entirely normal for someone from Melbourne - even a soccer fan - to be.

But back to the A-League. While the A-League in Melbourne is not even close to reaching the heights of cultural relevance that the AFL has, unless you are being completely intellectually dishonest as an Australian soccer fan of certain "exiled" clubs, you can't pretend that the A-League and its current ownership and management do not exist. They exist, and they wield significant influence on the game as a whole, at both national and local levels. Outside of the Socceroos, and much more recently the Matildas, the A-League is the main (and most regular) showpiece of Australian soccer. It gets the bulk of the private investment dollars put into Australian club soccer. It gets access to the best available stadiums. It gets the most fans. It gets, however small it is compared to equivalent competitions from other Australian sports, more media attention than soccer leagues below it. The A-League teams and their owners wield, to varying degrees, greater influence with soccer's administrators at a national level, and with politicians more generally. 

Football federations have funded W-League teams, and promote the efforts of A-League teams - all private businesses, which are not members of their federations - on their social media channels. At a local level, clubs like South compete against the youth set-ups of Victory, City, and Western United for access to junior talent. At times we are forced to play against the youth teams of the A-League sides, which in the case of matches against Victory's NPL team, includes expending not insignificant amounts of time and money dealing with security concerns, because of the violence a minority of Victory's fanbase bring to this level. Western United, looking to temporarily solve its home ground issue, tried to play out of Lakeside apparently without even thinking to ask the already existing soccer tenant whether that would be OK. Second tier clubs lose players on the eve of finals series or right before a grand final to A-League teams, and who knows what the financial compensation for that is, if any. Weekly fixtures have to be worked around local A-League games, or at least the derbies and bigger matches.

These are mostly the inevitable logistical challenges of soccer in Australia, or any sport really. The big(ger) dog gets catered to better than those further down the pecking (or biting) order. Some of this stuff could be handled better, but being frank, if you're second tier, you're pretty much never going to be treated preferentially compared to those in the first tier. I doubt that it was much better in the past, and if it was, it probably wasn't because soccer's administrators and powerbrokers were more accommodating to their poorer cousins; it was probably just more down to being inept at exploiting that advantage or simply lacking enough leverage to better exploit the situation.

So there's logistics, but there's also culture. The A-League's varying degrees of success (at least during its early peak) have meant that soccer administrators at a state level have tried at various times to import and force changes upon lower tier clubs and structures in an attempt to emulate the success of the A-League. You can't use this or that name. We should introduce franchise systems of regional/suburban representation at the top of the state system, supplanting the existing club system. But there's also other, less official cultural elements which get less remarked upon. For example, when the A-League does good, it's obviously in spite of Australian soccer's ethnic past; when it does bad, it's just another example of how Australian soccer cannot get away from its dysfunctional (read: ethnic) past.

Examples of maladministration and bad ownership aside (which people don't really engage with too much), it's the hooligan aspect (which is much more visceral, and thus a lot more tangible to the ordinary punter) that generally gets the emotional juices flowing. It's been over twenty years since South and Knights were in the top-flight, and thirty years since Preston and Heidelberg were in the top flight; yet when Victory fans (for example) fuck up - most of whom would never have been to an NSL game, and would have almost no connection to those clubs - it's still our clubs who get dragged into the fray. "It's just like the bad old days", even though it isn't exactly like the old days.

(which is not to say that fans of "our" clubs haven't fucked up in the intervening periods; only to suggest that maybe there should be more nuance in the ongoing discourse of the Australian soccer violence problem)

Even when used as a positive comparative framing device, the existence of the A-League as a touchstone is unavoidable. The FFA/Australia Cup was built on the twin stories of reconnecting two disparate parts of the Australian club soccer ecosystem (with some going as far as to suggest it's part of a "healing" process), and the thrill of a lower league club upsetting an A-League one. When local and A-League clubs meet, it's at the lower club's home (except in cases where the local ground doesn't meet A-League player and broadcast standards), and the local club gets to show off a bit of its "authenticity", which apart from the tiresome Soccer Food Safari discourse, also inevitably paints the A-League clubs as somewhat "inauthentic" by comparison. And how can we run the Australian Championship without any reference whatsoever to the A-League? Both those running it and those watching cannot help but comment about the good, the bad, and of course the gap between the two competitions at every comparative level. 

Closer to home, the young supporters of our club, as well as the junior players and most of their parents, just do not have the same chip on their collective shoulder about the NSL, the A-League, and all the guff that those who grew up with a more glorious South Melbourne Hellas have. For them, it's an entirely different world, and approached that way. That goes for the majority of sponsors we have to woo, too, and the politicians. And those of us who do have that chip on our shoulder have to acknowledge that experience. We'll have fun among ourselves hating on the A-League, but at the same time, it's not the reason we exist, and I sometimes think some people outside the club want to push that idea - that our support of our club is secondary to our varying degrees of hostility to the A-League. For the most part, that's utter nonsense. If anything, those who prioritise hating the A-League over supporting South aren't really coming to many South games.

Going back to what kicked this whole thing off. Almost seven years ago to the day, the consortium behind Western United beat South and several other bidders for an A-League licence. They did this by bidding more money for the licence fee than most of their opponents, and by promising to build a privately owned, soccer-specific stadium, alongside an urban development project in Melbourne's outer western growth suburbs. The group behind Western United claimed they would be ready to start work on that stadium as soon as they were awarded their licence. 

Seven years later, apart from a local council-owned training venue posing as a national league stadium, the "shovel-ready" stadium project is yet to commence. Large amounts of land remains undeveloped in the vicinity of the mooted stadium. The entire senior wing of the club - men's and women's - has been put into hibernation. Their men's VPL side was removed from competition a week before it was due to participate in playoff matches which had the potential of seeing them enter the top tier of soccer in Victoria. Western United's main backers - including a former Socceroo - have been taken to court by various parties for failing to meet their dues. The creditors have included staff members of other businesses of Western United investors, as well as various suppliers and, most notably, the tax office. Famous athletes from a variety of sports have been revealed to have been investors of the team.

Maybe Western United will survive, maybe they won't. But put aside my self-interest in this matter by virtue of being a South fan, and a bitter one at that. Put aside the fact that I, as an almost lifelong resident of Melbourne's western suburbs and an Australian soccer fan, am at least nominally part of the cohort that Western United would have wanted to convince to support them. Put aside for a moment that United's most recent hearing in the Federal Court was just three doors down from a courtroom I was working in. Put aside even this nonsense. If you're at all interested in Australian soccer, and you don't think that the current travails of Western United are absolutely fascinating, regardless of the motivation for finding them fascinating, then there's something wrong with you.

Advance preparation to smite the Alan Scotts of South Melbourne Hellas

It's been just over a week since the season finished, and typically no one has given a rat's about who won the title, which is as it should be when two teams no one cares about were the grand final participants. But as we gently ease into the quiet torpor of the off-season, noting as we did that Esteban Quintas was signed as our senior men's coach for 2020, one has to ask this question:

Who the hell chose that photo of Quintas for the official announcement of his appointment on Twitter? 

I mean, one of my brothers has a penchant for true-crime serial killer movies (and er, the slightly less real Law & Order: SVU) and for that reason, having seen a few of those movies myself, I am really creeped out by the blank, sweaty stare that Quintas is putting out here. You'd think that with Luke Radziminski's photo library efforts this year that the club couldn't have found anything better?

Anyway, I'd retweeted the notice, not out of either support or condemnation for the club hiring Quintas, only to note that it had happened; also to keep the club's social media metrics ticking over, even if the club no longer boasts about such things.

Not long after I did that, someone responded to the club's tweet, and I got a notification on it because I follow the relevant re-tweeter and because I'd retweeted the original post.

If this club has any ambition left the playing budget should be more than tripled on last season. The coaches themselves dont have the name to attract players so the board needs to step up and spend big to help the individuals they have chosen. No more excuses.

— George stefa (@Georgestefa1) September 20, 2019

A pretty merciless assessment of our 2020 prospects by old mate George, an opinion which exists at one end of the spectrum of fan reactions to Quintas' appointment. But once it was said, the comment would have fallen into obscurity had I not received another notification a few days later that Esteban Quintas himself had "liked" George's tweet.

So what was all that about I wondered? Is Quintas agreeing with George that he (Quintas) doesn't have the brand recognition among the Victorian playing establishment to attract to them to the club, and thus he would (like George) want to see the South board commit to a serious increase in the senio men's wage budget?

But then I dug a little deeper, and saw that Quintas had also "liked" the tweet below by another South fan, Jim Barres:

Sorry but not the man for the job

— Jim barres (@Jimbarres) September 20, 2019

And then it became clear to me that this was all about Quintas finding fuel for the motivation fires. Gosh, I hope he doesn't print these things out and stick them up on his office wall.

To be a little bit fair, Quintas did also "like" some posts  where he had been congratulated on his appointment by friends and well-wishers - but that's normal social media behaviour.

Then again, imagine if we could look forward to our own Choco Williams "Allan Scott, you were wrong moment!"? Considering our results over the past two seasons, one can only hope that our performances improve to the point where such antics could be possible.

Jean-Claude Van Damme's "Pound of Flesh" is not a good movie - South Melbourne 3 Gunagzhou R&F 0

I was not there last night, had other things to do, and none of those people who did attend have put their hand up to do a guest match report. So what you're going to get instead is a patchwork quilt of stuff I've gleaned from he web about this game.

First, it's important to reiterate an important point: this was not Guangzhou Evergrande, the seven times consecutive winners of the Chinese Super League and two-time winners of the Asian Champions League, This was their smaller and significantly less successful city rival Guangzhou R&F. That doesn't mean they don't have resources at their disposal which would put them well outside our reach, but you know, the opponent is not as prestigious as some people may have inadvertently thought they may have been.

It also doesn't mean that this Guangzhou R&F don't have other things going for them.

The R&F logo looks like something you'd see on a box of ciggies. https://t.co/d5OGA6AADI

— Les Street (@official_lesdog) February 8, 2018

This was also not the first time we've played Guangzhou R&F this pre-season; we played them last Saturday evening in a behind closed doors game, losing 4-1, with perhaps a mix of senior and youth players from our side, though I can't verify that.

⚽精彩回顾: 2月3日澳洲当地时间19:30，广州富力4比1击败南墨尔本，雷纳迪尼奥梅开二度，扎哈维任意球破门，本土新秀马俊亮建功🎉#GuangzhouRFFC #CSL #SouthMelbourneFC #Friendlymatch#Melbourne pic.twitter.com/316tkqEl1v

— Guangzhou R&F FC (@GuangzhouRFFC) February 5, 2018

Guangzhou R&F have also been busy playing some other teams; before our last Saturday game, they played Oakleigh two days prior, and two days before yesterday's game they'd played Melbourne Heart, and on Sunday they play Dandenong Thunder. As you can see, it's a crowded schedule, and the squads Guangzhou R&F are likely to be using for each friendly are going to have a high degree of variability.

Someone noted of yesterday's game that our guests used a reserve squad for the first half, and a fuller strength side for the second. The reserves therefore would be made up of Chinese players, whose quality I can't gauge from the comfort of my home office, but. Unlike the A-League teams, Chinese sides seems to adhere to the AFC's 3+1 foreigner rule, but they're still fully professional whereas we're a glorified pub team, a gastro-pub team if you like.

For ourselves, it was a pretty full-strength squad, probably close to what you'd see for round one against Bulleen.

Our XI to face @GuangzhouRFFC: Bray, Foschini, Konstantinidis, Martin, Norton, Millar, Jawadi, Epifano, Brennan, Minopoulos, Lujic. #SMFC pic.twitter.com/6tvuYkjc4t

— South Melbourne FC (@smfc) February 8, 2018

Martin (no first name provided) is a defender, probably a visa slot candidate, unsigned as yet as far as I'm aware. Not much evidence of youth team players there, for those who are going to ride that hobby-horse for superior and/or ulterior motives.

We were 2-0 (Lujic, Konstantinidis) up at the break, and added a third (Brennan) in the second half. From what I can gather from the piecemeal information floating around, we looked good going forward, very exciting, and lousy going back the other way. Those hoping for clues in that description to something of how a Sasa Kolman team might play should perhaps temper their excitement just a bit; even under the late Chris Taylor era during this pre-season, the team looked OK going forward and less than adequate defensively. Nevertheless, one can't be disappointed with the performance, only cautious as to what actual worth can be extracted from it. Some people are born optimists, while others are hoping for some evidence that we are going to be shit-hot after the turmoil of the past couple of weeks.

Of course what's a pre-season friendly win of indiscernible worth without South fans, their current politically adjacent affiliates, and aspiring doyens of the local soccer press going off half-cocked just because they can?

This why the future of @smfc is secure & important - from lakeside to the world in this changing football environment pic.twitter.com/wXJQm8Ajet

— Martin Foley (@MartinFoleyMP) February 8, 2018

Sometimes South fans are like a bloke who has caught a glimpse of side-boob, getting excited beyond all measure of reasonableness to the point where he's started planning the wedding. In our case, when we see something approximating hope, we rush out to vote for every online poll no matter how meaningless it is

.@smfc leading @GuangzhouRFFC 2-0, a team that beat @MelbourneCity 4-1. Should they be one of the expansion A-League sides?. #ALeague #SMFC

— AUFC™ (@ALeagueAUFC) February 8, 2018

and end up making ourselves feel like dirt when nothing comes of it. There was a solid contingent of Chinese supporters in attendance, many more than South fans. I don't know who they were, how they got there, and whether they'll be back. OK, I don't think they'll be back, but I suppose for those South fans who were there it was nice to see a decent crowd for whatever it was that was happening last night.

There was also this

Epa jumping into a tackle with studs up in a friendly. Classic. #straya

— Ante Jukić (@a_jukic) February 8, 2018

which I assume lead to the halftime melee that some reported, which saw the ejection of Lujic and Epifano, as well two players from the opposition. Sounds like it was am eventful night all round.

And he's gone

Like Jason Hicks and Francesco Stella before him, off-season South Melbourne signing Sam Smith has moved on to another club without playing a single legitimate game for us and indeed, like the others mentioned before the season has even started. In Smith's case, he's ended up at Port Melbourne. After all our efforts to get Smith - one rumoured attempt before he re-signed at Gold Coast City, and then as Gold Coast City got into an administrative mess we lured him down to Victoria - it seems like an odd decision,

Truth be told, I never saw much in his pre-season form (when I was paying attention) to get excited about. Others were far more critical of his skill level. I'll say this: judging from his highlights package, he looks like a classic out-and-out striker, and during pre-season we seemed to be trying to play him a lot on the wing, hoping as we've done since he left us to find the next Jaime Reed. It didn't work out, Smith would've taken up a visa spot we're apparently keen on using on a defender, these things happen. If that's the worst thing that happens during this off-season, we're doing OK.

In a similar vein, forward Amir Osmancevic, who had been trialling with us (and who did look impressive at times), has ended up at Pascoe Vale. Likewise, Kaine Sheppard has ended up at Avondale, or so people say. Oh, and Iqi Jawadi's back.

One (more) thing that was bothering me

Despite having largely overcome the seven year ordeal of not having a social club, South Melbourne Hellas continues to face many obstacles in its day to day existence. These obstacles include, but are not limited to:

• The arcane machinations of state and national soccer bodies
• A now seemingly permanent second tier status
• Media obscurity except in the most unusual and desperate of situations
• The assimilation/absorption oriented nature of Australia's Anglo-Celtic centric form of multiculturalism
• The club's own intermittent or frequent (your call) bouts of incompetence
• Modern difficulties of managing work/life balance
• Neos Kosmos, Neos Kosmos English Weekly, Ta Nea
• State Sport Centres Trust
• Winter
• A-League hooligans
• Opposition sides
• Negative bloggers

But there is one group above all others whose actions - or just as often, lack of action - has hurt the club more than anyone. What's more, compared to everyone and everything else, this group tends to slip under the radar.

I am talking of course about that broad collective which contains former and especially latent South Melbourne Hellas supporters. Now, most of us have dealt with the defiantly former South fan, and their myriad of mostly retrospectively contrived reasons for no longer supporting us. Frankly, I'm not in the mood to deal with those folks right now. But the latent as opposed to merely treacherous fan tends to fly under the radar. Oh, we talk about them a little bit - more so in the past - when we need them to perform one of two symbolic functions.

The first of these functions sees reference made to The Great Lost and Wandering Tribe of Hellas when we talk about all the fans that will come back to Lakeside once we re-enter the A-League. The second instance is when we talk about their absence as it affects us in our guise of misery inducing second tier status. 'If only a quarter (or similar number) of the 6,000 odd regulars of the NSL era who have left us would come back, we'd be better off in so many ways on and off the park' is the somewhat mangled mystery meat combination lament.

Unlike the deliberately and self-consciously trendy infidels who now support 'other' teams and who boast about their disloyalty towards South, the latent fan is harder to find. You may find an elder gentleman sitting at a barber shop, kafeneio, or perhaps in a cemetery. But there are also younger and more tech savvy variants who are easier to find by use of a simple device: the posting of South Melbourne Hellas pictures or videos of our glorious NSL teams and players. Do that on Facebook and to a much lesser extent Twitter, and watch them metaphorically scurry out from underneath the proverbial fridge, only to disappear once the business of South Melbourne Hellas as it exists now comes to hand.

Now I can empathise with these people. The NSL was undoubtedly awesome, especially if you were a South fan. You watched one of the league's most popular and successful teams, which played in one of the competition's better stadiums, and the club you supported carried about itself an air of invincibility and cockiness that likewise added a spring to your step.

But nowadays the club is - as this blog has talked about in far too much depth - something you no longer recognise or wish to recognise as the club you spent so much time, money, and emotion supporting. Your heart is broken by seeing South become re-associated with clubs that it had left behind. Watching the club play every second week in industrial zone paddocks, and every other week from behind the running track, is a torture the now latent fan cannot bare.

[Let's also not discount the problem of your mates or relatives no longer coming to games - it makes motivating oneself for the grind that much harder if you had a social group you were involved with and which is now no longer interested. People attract people, a crowd attracts a crowd, but once you slip underneath a certain critical mass, attendances, interest and relevance can dissolve very quickly.]

And let's not get started on the standard of play! So they stay away, and cloistering themselves at home, or at the footy, but especially in the soft, warm cloak of nostalgia. Meanwhile, those South fans still attending games rationalise the behaviour of latent fans as soft, or weak, or even as irresponsible. Me, I probably think all those things and more when I think about these latent Hellas fans, but at the heart of the matter, I understand the compulsion to stay away. I don't agree with it, but believe me, I do understand.

The same issues that keep those types away don't just magically disappear for those of us that still do attend. Every car trip into a suburban outpost, every long multi-modal and poorly serviced public transport trip to some ground that doesn't have an elevated view or even a concrete terrace, every loss to a team that five minutes ago was playing three or four divisions lower - all of it takes a toll on those still going to games. The flip-side to that is that there is also a camaraderie among the fans, especially those that do the business week in and week out; there is joy, there is comedy, and there is also victory, compromised as it may be by our circumstances.

So because I understand their reasoning, when I see these latent fans reminiscing about the 'good old days', I don't jump in and judge them. It doesn't do any good, and is certainly not likely to get them to come back. I'd rather set the example via my own attendance and this blog, where I contribute to the general South experience in order to do my small bit to keep the club as a going concern.

Recently however on Twitter, there was a passionate but also hilarious discussion on South's A-League bid shenanigans, especially some of the very loose handling of facts by certain members of the bid team. During that discussion, one of these self-confessed latent Hellas fans - one notable not only to myself but also to others for his tendency to only talk about South as a historical instead of ongoing concern - accused some South fans who were discussing and disagreeing with the conduct of South Melbourne's A-League bid team as exhibiting 'disreputable' behaviour.

One assumes this scalding (and for that writer, also quite uncharacteristic) epithet was directed to persons like myself, and possibly to folk like T. Arvanitis of Murrumbeena, who posted what was otherwise considered a very worthwhile bit of commentary on South's A-League bid media strategy on this blog. My normal response to such a provocation would be to remain in character, play a straight bat, and ask a question along the lines of 'disreputable how?'.

Instead of doing that - maybe because it was getting late and because tolerance to latent fans had worn thin - I responded with a hastily cobbled together response (including a choice typo) which played the man and not the issue. One could see it as giving back what I'd received, but it still felt a little unbecoming. The response to my riposte was to accuse me of having an agenda, whatever that meant to the particular person making that accusation (there was no follow up explaining what my agenda may be).

I don't know how he read something so sinister into my Twitter oeuvre, but if I were to admit to having an agenda, as a South fan it would be: to go to as many games as possible in order to support the team; to add a dry, curmudgeonly wit to the general atmosphere; and to lend my assistance to the club where I reasonably can. As a blogger, my aims are to do what I've always done: to provide a source of South news, opinion and assorted nonsense that is independent of South's official media channels; to increase the level of South fans' interests in the club's off-field operations; and to present a different public front to non-South fans about what this club is about. Sometimes this will compliment the club's efforts, and sometimes they will take an oppositional tone.

But to get back to the main point. Yes, it's sad that we have latent fans who for whatever reason can no longer bring themselves to attend South matches. That's their choice, and if they want to define themselves by reminiscence alone, there's not much we can do. Those of us who are still attending games appreciate what we have, not just what we had. So by all means if you're a latent fan, enjoy your fill of nostalgia - but don't go complaining about contemporary happenings at the club on or off-field, or the media's treatment of the club - because if you're not going to games yourself, you should probably reconsider the merits of your indignation.

Ultimately, the club exists for the living, not the dead. It's all in or not in at all. Lastly, it's never too late to come back - others who have drifted away have come back - even I've done it. It's not all bad.

South win 2016 Apertura title - Green Gully 0 South Melbourne 1

After walking around the HV McKay Gardens during the morning and having Afghan food for lunch, it was time to drive Chris Egan and Gains up to Green Gully Reserve in order to return to the scene of the crime as it were. And yes, while one did consider turning around and heading to the MCG because Collingwood were up by seven goals against Geelong at quarter time, we did end up making the turn onto Green Gully Road and into Gully's Chinese finger trap car park.

A couple of changes as well. No Luke Adams because of international duty, so Matthew Foschini was at centre back alongside Michael Eagar. Marcus Schroen made way for Iqi Jawadi's first start in many weeks, and Steven Hatzikostas also got a start. Were we a bit mosquito fleet in midfield with Mathew Theodore playing the attacking midfield role he's best suited to? Sure, but it actually seemed to work.

The difference, if anything, is that we seemed to press up on Green Gully in a way that we have not been doing to our opponents for... well, I'll let you guys decide how long. Most NPL defenses, with the probable exception of Bentleigh, can't play their way out of the back without hoofing it out or up the field, but even by those standards Gully's defense yesterday was all over the shop. They panicked even in rudimentary defensive situations, gifting us corners, throw ins and possession in dangerous positions on a regular basis.

Yes there was a noticeable breeze heading towards the car park end goal to which we were heading in the first half, but that doesn't explain some of the poor decision making by Gully. One of these poor decisions eventually lead to our goal, with us being given a penalty after a rather clumsy attempt by a Gully defender to prevent Amadu Koroma from playing the ball in the 18 yard box. Despite having a penalty saved last week against Pascoe Vale, the People's Champ once again took responsibility for the spot kick duties, eventually scoring from a stutter-y if not quite stuttering approach, but that's just one of those things open to interpretation.

Folau. 1 up! pic.twitter.com/dnzNj2E0A8

— John Patitsas (@johnpatitsas) May 21, 2016

and in case you're wondering why the 'Folau' reference, no, old mate Israel hasn't decided to take up soccer - here's the correction from John Patitsas soon afterwards.

@johnpatitsas goal that is!

— John Patitsas (@johnpatitsas) May 21, 2016

So was the People's Champ's penalty stride one continuous motion? Probably just, but you know what they say about being technically correct. What was quite daft was Green Gully keeper Dowisha running up to referee Shaun Evans to complain, as if Evans was going to change his mind because he asked him to. I admit there was a point there where after the penalty was converted and Dowisha and his teammates made their pleas for re-consideration, that time seemed to stand still, but the goal stood and Dowisha got a yellow card for his trouble.

The goal was no less than we deserved on the balance of play, and the greatest disappointment was that we couldn't add to that goal. Crosses kept missing, corners again were dire, and our free kicks lacked venom, albeit at least for once they tended to be on target. Oh, how good would it have been had Mathew Theodore's first half shot crashed in off the cross bar instead of out?

Defensively, bolstered by a hungry and tenacious midfield, we looked strong, albeit there were a couple of moments - as much due to the wicked spin of the match balls, which also caught out some Gully defenders at times - where we needed to rely on Nikola Roganovic's reflexes. Mostly that was at the end, thank goodness, where he did what he had to do.

After so many years of struggling to win at this ground, to make it four wins here in four years says a lot about how much we've improved as a team during that time, and how much perhaps Gully has if not stalled, than at least retreated from its one time ruthlessness of the Dobson years.

Instead of being butchered to death (apart from a couple of dubious late tackles) and struggling to play against the masters of grinding out a result, we had to withstand mostly silly and pointless fouling and at best only had to endure a late flurry of action which, while it could have resulted in an equaliser, did not. We were in control for eighty of the ninety minutes, and even that ten minute period at the end where Gully started throwing the kitchen sink at us doesn't diminish that fact.

That doesn't mean we played anywhere near to our potential, and we still look vulnerable from a number of ailments. First and foremost is our dependence on Milos Lujic as the lone man up front, which relies a lot on the wide players getting into the box to take some of the heat - and the markers - off Milos. At least yesterday Milos came up closer to the midfield to collect some balls, meaning that space was created behind him.

The second problem isn't far removed from the first one - what if Milos goes down with a long term injury? There is no other player in our squad with the same blend of physique and skill ready to slot into that role - it's arguable that apart from Leigh Minopoulos, a very different kind of forward, we don't even have any strikers full stop. The transfer window opens up soon, but should a striker even be signed by us, it would probably necessitate a change in the game plan, something which has not necessarily been at the top of our to do list these past few seasons.

We still have a problem with defending diagonal balls, which Gully only really seemed to take notice of late in the game, and which Koroma - who seemed to be the main defender being targeted - did well enough in defending most of the time. It was actually strange to see so little of the play on the concourse side of the ground in the second half, where there would have been more shelter to use against the wind.

Still, these are problems you'd admittedly rather have while being top of the table, and not in places other than that. Nevertheless there will come a point where people will see that period of struggle between the 2006 championship and the Chris Taylor helmed resurgence as irrelevant to what happens now. And that would be fair enough. Not that we have done poorly, but the measure of success which many fans will have used to score this side - which once would have been limited to 'oh my goodness, we no longer completely suck!' - will change.

Next game
Heidelberg away.

...and justice for all
Since Jason Newsted is still waiting for justice, than perhaps we can wait a little longer for the tribunal date for the Victory incident. But not too much longer surely.

Does anyone actually care? - social media edition
As a Twitter fiend - attempts to wean myself off the medium have been only moderately successful at best - I am interested in following the conversation that centres on the NPL Victoria on that platform. Now, being a not very popular league, there isn't much interest overall on Twitter. That's to be expected, and not something we should get alarmed at.

And despite Twitter's potential, the medium itself is retreating into re-tweets of news and information instead of original content (as is happening with other social media platforms, including Facebook). Aside from that problem, even when a popular event (such as an AFL match) starts trending, the kind of talk that takes place resembles something more akin to people yelling into the breeze than actually talking with one another.

If Twitter is to become just another shorthand news source, that's not so much of a problem (except for Twitter itself, perhaps), but the lack of engagement from ordinary NPL punters is interesting, especially when FFV has (quite rightly) put more emphasis on NPL Victoria clubs' use of social media. Now obviously quite a few won't have Twitter at all, but most people have Facebook accounts these days, yet for the most part the engagement levels seem about the same, taking into account a lot more people use Facebook than Twitter.

While Twitter is my main focus in this aimless thinking out loud piece, the lack of engagement on Facebook for many teams - where more of their support, both actual and latent, resides - is also worth noting. A few weeks ago, after we had defeated Bentleigh in that very exciting match, Bentleigh Greens had posted a video of an exasperated Johnny A blaming the length of the grass as part of the reason his team didn't win. Myself and a couple of other South fans decided to post on their Facebook page making note of last year's painted grass fiasco, comments which were deleted by the Bentleigh Facebook admin.

That we could just re-post the same critique on Twitter without them being able to do anything about it was not really the issue. More interesting was that on that and so many other Bentleigh posts, there were no comments. Yes, they're not the best supported club out there, but it's not so much different for South Melbourne Facebook posts, especially considering the vast amount of (real or bought or whatever) 'likes' we have compared to other teams.

People may read the social media updates, occasionally click on 'like', but beyond that there's not much engagement unless there's controversy. It's not much different for South games on Twitter. It's usually me, SMFCMike and... that's about it. And I've taken my foot off the Twitter pedal this year for South games this year so I can focus more attention on the game and the real world banter. But even in other games, there's quite a lack of Twitter discussion for most NPL Victoria games, with the exception of the news sources and the global gambling 'community'.

I suppose it's easier to become engaged on social media when you're a neutral, or if you're watching a game on television - and while you're seated, if you happen to be in a stadium. It's easier to also to feel the need to post something if you think someone else cares, and with a niche product like the NPL, that kind of motivation is often hard to find.

A fellow blogger newer to the blogging game asked me recently how many hits I was getting - a reasonable question. My response was about 400-600 hits for match reports, a lot less for artefact segments. If a game has had a measure of controversy, those posts tend to get a lot more traction. It's little surprise that the antics of the People's Champ at last year's game at Green Gully fits into the category of well visited match report posts.

Only three of my top ten posts hit-wise are from match reports, and that's fair enough - they're not my main forte skill-wise, and most South people still interested in South tend to be at the games most weeks. Editorial pieces or posts where I'm covering off-field sagas often get a lot more interest, because I'm one of the few covering them in a public forum, especially when it comes to issues directly affecting South.

But it's very difficult to gain traction - the narrow focus, the league we're in, all of these things makes getting and maintaining a large audience difficult. Not that I have an issue with that personally, but it's an example of how hard it is to get an audience for media based around a second tier competition in Australia. At least I write on a club with some supporters, and with a residual level of interest in Australian soccer circles. For lesser supported clubs with no great history or even tendency towards controversy, there's not much chance of developing an audience from such meager ingredients.

While I don't disagree that trying to use Twitter or Facebook is a good thing for clubs - few do it well enough, though they are getting better - I'm interested in knowing what the FFV hopes the clubs can achieve in the long run. An event such as South vs Knights (or similar) FFA Cup match will get some traction because of the fixture's 'event' status, but the same fixture as a league game will only get smidgen of the same attention.

For my part, even if my hit numbers stay small, the number of comments has increased a fair bit, and that indicates a steady level of engagement. Maybe there is sort of community built around this site (or even the now outdated idea of a 'forum') that needs to be looked at by FFV and various NPL clubs, and that merely spewing out a stream of news bites isn't enough to engage people, let alone keep them engaged.

Or maybe we should just be prepared to all ride the controversy relevance roller-coaster.

Around the grounds (NPL hurrah!)
I didn't manage to get to any other games this week.

Final thought
Who cares if this is recycled from last year's game?

'Had some laughs
Killed some time
Made some jokes
Killed more time
Cashed the cheque'#GGvSM #PS4NPLVIC

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 4, 2015

Round 1 match day information

A few quick notes on today's match.

For those going to the game
Membership collection: The club has stated that memberships will be available for collection at the ground from 4pm onwards.

Ticketing: As Ticketmaster is apparently no longer in charge of ticketing arrangements at Lakeside, the club should have more flexibility in its ticketing arrangements on match days. This should mean that the club will have pre-printed tickets available throughout the season, making the tedious queues that occurred during more popular games of the past few seasons more bearable. Of course the best way to beat the queues and help the club is to buy a membership, but we all hope this season's ticketing system will make it more attractive for more casual, neutral and opposition fans to attend Lakeside.

Discounted entry: South is offering a two for one deal for this match, in this case two adult tickets for $10, on presentation of the relevant voucher,

No social club: For those looking for a bite to eat or something to drink before the game, my understanding is that The Limerick Arms, now a club sponsor, will be providing discount food and drink for South fans.

For those not going to the game
Radio broadcast, English: There will be an online radio broadcast of the match - at this address or search "MFootball" in the Mixlr App.

Radio broadcast, Greek: For those who prefer Greek language commentary, 3XY will be doing their own broadcast on radio frequency 1422AM, as well as via online streaming at TuneIn.

For those following the game online
Twitter: FFV will no longer be providing score updates for NPL matches via Twitter. Instead their new account @FFV365 will be re-tweeting items from all Victorian matches based upon whatever clubs (in this case @smfc or @hufcwarrior) or media people tweet themselves.

Dooooooooooomed! Bentleigh Greens 3 South Melbourne 0

With Leigh Minopoulos being kept in mothballs and moonboots in the lead up to season proper, and Milos Lujic reputedly in Kokomo on his honeymoon, we were short-handed up front for our defence of the Community Shield, sticking Andy Kecojevic and Marcus Schroen up front. The question then was not if we would lose the Community Shield, but rather by how many goals. To be fair, in the first half we at least managed to match Bentleigh, if not in clear cut chances (their one, hit straight into the oncoming Roganovic, to our none), then at least in hustle and bustle.

That hustle and bustle however lead to a rather more torrid affair than perhaps one would have expected for even a more formal pre-season hit out, so much so that there were several flare ups during the course of this match. The passion on display from us was fine, but the apparent willingness to get sucked in to the opposition's antics always threatened to become costly, and thus Nick Epifano managed to get himself sent off with a straight red for retaliating. The eye witness accounts differ between Epifano kicking or stomping on his Bentleigh opponent.

Either way, it was a damn foolish thing to do, and Epifano will probably miss the opening two or three games of the season. Other than that there were moments where our interplay was rather pleasing to the eye, even if the end product was never going to amount to anything. As the game slipped away from us and Bentleigh took their foot off the pedal somewhat, our finishing only became more comical. Unusually in the mood to make bold statements, it seems to me that if we don't end up getting a strike partner for Lujic, we'll probably miss the finals. If we do, and he's half decent, then we'll win the league.

Next week
Round 1 at home vs Heidelberg. You may as well make an effort to come to this, because afterwards we have our customary slog of away games to start the season.

That's OK, I wasn't looking for a long term relationship anyway
Jason Hicks, once lauded as 'an experienced player', 'a versatile option', and a player who we were excited to have 'join us' has left us to join Melbourne Knights. Apparently we are openly crying into our cornflakes about this, which is news to me. Hicks' departure does open up a visa slot however, which according to scuttlebutt in the crowd yesterday will be used on an overseas striker.

Making things up again
Now I'm sure that Chris Marshall is a lovely bloke who loves puppies and hates mean things, but why is the club calling him a 'senior football adviser'? Is assistant coach too old fashioned?

Optional extras
Every NPL game will have a fourth official with one of those electronic boards informing the paying public of substitutions and the number of minutes of injury time to be played. Those of us not paying to enter venues should probably look away at those moments.

AGM? What's that?
Still no announcement of the AGM date as of this moment, though I have been lead to believe an announcement is 'imminent'.

Candy/Iron anniversary approaching
Someone looking far further into the future than your correspondent has noticed that the sixth anniversary of not having a social club will actually land on a South home game. According the internet the traditional gift for the sixth anniversary is either candy or iron.

Who was Robert Stewart?
In the match programme for our 1981 away fixture against Blacktown City, there is mention made of a young striker from Hearts of Midlothian named Robert Stewart. Now I've never come across this name before, so I assume that Stewart played no games for South Melbourne. But how did he get to South and where did he end up? Is he the same player as Rob Stewart, who is listed as playing for Frankston City in the 1981 Victorian state league season? Seeing as how the Victorian season started a week after that round six match, it's not an implausible theory.

The system works
Yes, your correspondent has once again been granted FFV media accreditation for 2016. This is despite my steadfast refusal to step into a press box, conduct interviews or write proper match reports. Best of all, I have been listed as a freelancer rather than being under the auspices of the club. Not that it'll make much difference to what I write, of course, but it's nice to have on the pass anyway.

New season's resolution
In order to try and actually pay more attention at our games this year, I will no longer be tweeting during South matches. Thus, those of you who wait with baited breath for my withering observations of modern life during Hellas match days will have to either wait until I get home or actually come and hear my comedic slivers of gold in person. Given phenomena such as Bentleigh charging $12 for a souv, I expect this vow to last all of abut five minutes.

Just on that...
$12. For a souv. A not even very good souv, hugely overrated in part because people from Melbourne's south-east generally have no clue what they're talking about on these matters, and in part because of this particular souv's appearance at the Food Federation Cup a couple of seasons ago. Now I know I'm very tight with money (I prefer the term frugal), but $12! And burgers $10! Absolutely outrageous! What's the thinking behind this? Are their profit margins in the canteen that bad? I'm not usually one to make too much comment about food at grounds, nor am I really the right person to complain about food prices at grounds since I get in for free most weeks, but what about those people that don't? Do we have to follow the FFA Whole of Football Plan manifesto of squeezing every penny from people in the game?

Match programmes and such
Received a couple of folders worth of match programmes, finals series booklets and the first ten issues of Studs Up. I have started scanning and uploading some of these things, but will be delayed a little by the fact that I've only now just figured out to apply OCR (text recognition) to the documents, which will allow users to perform searches within documents but also hopefully for search engines to be able to dig through them.

What that means alas is that I will gradually have to re-upload most of the stuff I've put up already, which is irritating but probably necessary. Not that the text recognition effect always works or works well, but usually it seems to be OK and something is better than nothing in these cases, especially with the very large and data dense yearbooks.

Final thought
No, I have not become a Berger, I just happened to figure out the answer to their quiz question, OK?

Update on Milos Lujic's knee, from Milos Lujic

Results have come in positive as a minor strain only. In line to play finals football! Thanks to everyone for their support! #smfc

— Milos Lujic (@MilosLujic) August 26, 2015

Just made it - Werribee City 1 South Melbourne 2

Waiting in the car park for 20 minutes for the delayed Steve from Broady at Newport station meant getting to the outskirts of Galvin Park with only about five minutes until kickoff in the senior game. Parking a good half kilometre down the road was made worse when one South bloke known to us here at South of the Border managed to rock up and nab a space near the old front gate. At Galvin Park itself, once we walked past the various cricket finals being played, it looked like space had been cleared and fenced off for the construction of something new, but I'm not sure we needed to be forced to go around an extra 50 metres to get in to a makeshift entrance. One bloke looking to pay to get in almost handed me ten bucks by accident.

Even if there was no sign of the stand they're planning to build on the outer side - and who are we to judge, we who've been missing a social club for nearly five years now - at least the scaffolding was already set up by the home club this time. A couple of blokes recommend the chicken schnitzel burger, which while not containing any mayo, is apparently a nice thick piece of bird, with a flavourful crumb - and best of all, no need to wait, as they have them ready and waiting. Ten minutes later Gains and I are still waiting for them to make the schnitzel rolls, so at least they're fresh, but watching the game through the canteen's window, covered by a protective metal grill, is hardly ideal, but useful as training run for when my one remaining working retina decides to give up the ghost.

It was nearly impossible to tell what the hell was going on for those first five or ten minutes, but at least the roll once made was good, even if it wasn't as herbed and spiced as I'd been lead to believe, which could have been another in the long list of life's disappointments, except for the fact that it only costs $6 and chicken schnitzels rolls are usually terrible, having sat in a bain marie for five hours with the crumbing going soggy and the processed chicken tasting like a discarded piece of rubber.

Getting to a game late throws me right off its rhythm, and it took me a little while to realise that Tim Mala had gone off injured in the first five minutes, replaced by Andy Kecojevic who went into midfield while Bonel 'Bones' Obradovic slotted into Mala's right back spot. Apparently we'd been on the back foot early on, but we seemed to have wrested control of this game from that point on.

Now short corners, Yes, we scored off of one, and I tell you one of the reasons this happened - because unlike our usual routines of making it completely obvious that we were going to take a short corner - usually playing to just in front of the corner flag - it was played quickly to the edge of the 18 yard box, where Iqi Jawadi's shot managed to somehow elude everyone and go into the back of the net for hist first goal in an official South game.

Fantastic, great result for both Iqi and short corners. Of course, as Homer Simpson once noted, a short corner is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another short corner! So of course we tried another of these later in the game, same routine and all - unfortunately we coughed the ball up, and because we had over committed players forward, had only ten fit players on the park anyway, Werribee shot the ball down the other end when it would have been better for us to play more conservatively.

But all that happened much later. Nick Epifano who was working hard got fair fair reward for effort when he was fed through on goal and chipped the ball over the keeper with a first time shot. A goal from a short corner and someone scoring for us without needing to take fifteen million touches. What a day this was turning out to be. 2-0 up at the break and all sorts of miraculous things happening. Unfortunately Kristian 'Gonzo' Konstantinidis had to go off with an in jury he picked up late in the first half, and thus Michael Eagar had to go back from defensive mid into centreback.

While we managed to keep creating breaks going forward, we started tiring - a persistent problem which we all hope will be gradually overcome as the season wears on, with us needing to peak later this year rather than right at the start - and Werribee starting winning the midfield battle. Leigh Minopoulos was brought as fresh legs but struggled, Obradovic started to lose his way a bit in his unfamiliar role, and Kecojevic started cramping up with no subs left and 20 odd minutes to play.

The home team scored to make things worse, and if not for Michael Eagar's heroics in defense, clearing time and time again, we wouldn't have been able to hold on for all three points. Even with with Eagar's desperate efforts though, we had to rely on the crossbar to save us in the 94th minute of the game, with the relevant Werribee player first exultant and then devastated that his effort failed to hit the mark.

Very impressive performance by @KecojevicAndy in the @Smfc win today pic.twitter.com/0NWyillyvO
— NPL Vic Football (@NPLVic_Football) March 8, 2015

Considering the injuries we copped, the re-shuffling required, and effectively playing with only ten men for the last 20 minutes or so, I'm stoked we got the three points. Fitness is still an issue for the tine being, but there was more evidence that the team is beginning to gel. I was especially pleased to see how Kecojevic scarcely looked out of place in a senior game.

Next week
We enter the Dockerty Cup - or FFA Cup qualifiers to those of you who are part of the FFV (and lizard people, natch) conspiracy to deflate the importance of the Dockerty Cup. We'll be playing State League 3 team Whittlesea United, who pulled off a 3-2 upset against State League 1's Clifton Hill. The date and time are yet to be confirmed, but this will be an interesting affair not only to see which depth players get more of a go, but also because former South NSL and VPL championship winner, the much loved Tansel Baser, is the Whittlesea United captain.

Teach a man to fish...
There's been a little bit of discussion recently over the FFV's decision to provide video cameras to every NPL club in order for them to film their games and provide the footage for a weekly online compilation. Those on the negative side seem to be of the opinion that as the footage from most of those games comes across as unprofessional, that rather than enhancing the product for luring potential sponsors, it actually damages the game.

I can certainly see the validity in such thinking. The footage provided so far in the NPL1 highlights packages in particular varies from the very good to the abjectly dire. A lot of this is clearly down to who's operating the camera on any given day, and I would have hoped (though I don't know for sure) that merely giving the cameras to the clubs was not the end point, but that FFV may also supplement that with some sort of training. But some of the problems with the quality of the footage fall outside individual camera operators. How many times have even those clubs who have funded their own video productions (South, Knights, Hume, etc) been hampered by the lack of suitable media facilities, such as basic scaffolding creating an elevated vantage point? Or being unable to get clear footage - and this goes for photographers as well - because the lighting isn't up to scratch?

@PaulMavroudis I hate it for the same reason
— Pave Jusup (@PaveJusup) March 8, 2015

While some have called for the hiring of professional videographers to undertake this task, I am of the opposite opinion. By giving the clubs the basic tools - and that would ideally include some training - it provides the opportunity for the clubs and some of their members themselves to learn new skills. This is not merely about outsourcing the problem to someone else, but getting the clubs to take responsibility for their own promotion. The clubs that take the time to make the most of the opportunity will hopefully get the most out of it, while those who don't will mostly be hurting themselves.

Finally, the call for a return of a weekly live video streamed game, while well intentioned, seems to me to miss the point. Regardless of how much you publicise a live stream, the audience will be minuscule unless it's for a very high profile contest, something like last year's FFA Cup games. And whether or not live streaming actually manages to get an audience, the focus at this level of competition should be on getting people to games, paying money at the gate and spending at the canteen. More people at games also creates its own better atmosphere, encouraging people to come back the next time. Few people want to spend a couple of hours at a game with only a bunch of old men and the odd relative of a player; but if more people go to games, it by itself creates a more homely and exciting experience.

Around the grounds
They tried to make me the new Steve from Broady and failed.
The plan was to go with Cuddles to the Pascoe Vale – Northcote game at the revamped CB Smith Reserve with its infamous light tower in front of the grandstand, but when we heard that that Richmond was hosting Nunawading, we decided to head to Kevin Bartlett Reserve instead. The reasoning behind this decision was that we wanted to see whether all the stories about Nunawading – playing out from the back at all times, and not taking any shots – were true, and whether former South player Anthony Giannopoulos – a player who loves to shoot at first sight – would stick out like a sore thumb.

Well when we got to the parking area at Richmond, it started raining, and not wishing to risk having to stand in the rain all game, or hide on the social club, we decided to hoof it to Fawkner instead, and if we missed the first ten minutes, well, we probably wouldn't miss much would we?

Wrong. After slogging through Sydney Road with its pervasive smell of gyros and kebabs, getting through a Friday night booze and drug bus operation that was still setting up, but which had taken out two out of three lanes, and circling around for ten minutes trying to find a parking spot, updates on Twitter, Futbol24 and via a friend already at the ground, we found out that we'd missed not only the first four goals of the game – two each to Pascoe Vale and Northcote, both times the latter equalising – but also Giannopoulos giving Nunawading an early lead.

At least we got to see the fifth goal of the game which gave Northcote the lead for the first time that night. I'm not sure what's going on down there, with Hercules not even managing to get a front of shirt sponsor, but first and foremost it's about scoring goals, and Northcote did that better than Pascoe Vale in a thrilling game which completely died in the arse once Cuddles and I got there. I spent much time next to Kristian Konstantinidis in line at the canteen, and considering the rather good crowd decided to get a cevapi roll instead of wait forever for a pizza. Having finished said cevapi roll however, Andrew Mesorouni's kid and Leo Athanasakis' kid rock up with several boxes of the famous woodfired pizza, and I somehow ended up scoffing down most of one, and being saddled with another. But a man has to know his limits!

It was also to good to finally meet Pascoe Vale president Lou Tona in the flesh, who was surprised that I wasn't fatter. Yes, South of the Border, the Australian soccer blog most dedicated to the cause of the wallflower, can also occasionally find itself among the movers and shakers. But never fear, we are still of the people! For the people! By me, and whoever else wants to write for us! The key to selling out of course is to sell when your price is high. Only time will tell whether a ride to and from Lara and a few boxes of pizza - and a can Pepsi, we can't forget that - was worth the price, or whether I'm just a really cheap date.

Final thought
Those shotput people at Lakeside can heave those balls a fucken long way.

2015 Asian Cup adventure - Day 3 - Kill the Buddha

Prologue
I woke up in a foul mood yesterday, which may go some way towards explaining the following post.

Going out for a patented Sideshow Bob 'vigorous constitutional' only made things worse
After finding myself actually enjoying last Sunday's Iran vs Bahrain match, and thus looking forward to the rest of the tournament (at least those parts that I could attend), I decided to look up just for the sake of it who'd be hosting the next tournament in 2019. It turns out that hasn't been decided yet, but one of the bidders happens to be Saudi Arabia.

Saudi Arabia: a nation that does not allow unaccompanied women to do pretty much anything (and of course bans them from attending football matches); a nation that does not allow expressions of any faith other than Islam, and a nation that censors all of its media to the nth degree. And yet how much more advanced are we? Let's use this as an opportunity to blow something minor completely out of proportion. During Tuesday's win by the Socceroos - which I quit watching after we went 3-0 up, because the streams I tried watching the game on became unusable - Tom Juric scored the team's fourth goal, and proceeded to lift his shirt to reveal a message in Croatian/Split dialect/Shtokavian/Serbo-Croatian/Vukovian, which said 'Mama, Tata, Braco' (Mother/Mum, Father/Dad, Brother/Bro - as a believer in the importance of the reader as symbiotic participant in the writing process, I'm letting you take your pick on the formality of the message).

Apparently a minority (or a statistically significant number, depending on who you believe) of people on Facebook and Twitter had a whinge about this - specifically on the fact that the message was not in English - and thus discussion of this filled my Twitter timeline, leading to me making a dick of myself by singling out one person in isolation for semi-confected outrage when it was utterly unfair of me to do so. That person is merely an agent of the problem, not its cause and really, I would have been much wiser parlaying my hard won wisdom into the alternative discussion about ice cream, and how cool was it when you tried to reach for ice creams at the bottom of the fridge at your local milk bar, because they would definitely be the coldest and by definition the best.

The issue remains however, that those who support the National Club Identity Policy (here we go again, boooooooooorrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing) provide a sense of legitimacy to those people in Australian soccer (and by extension Australian society) who use that policy to further their assimilationist ends. Pointing out the fact that messages on shirts other than those things allowed to be put on playing jerseys (whatever that means under our current nightmarish regime) aren't allowed anyway (and liable to be punished by a yellow card and/or disqualification from Australian competitions) is beside the point; neither are offside goals allowed, yet the Socceroos' third goal clearly benefited from a cock up from the officials on that front, and it still counted. Unless you're the editor of an ultra-Orthodox Jewish newspaper, what has been seen cannot be unseen.

The creator of this images wishes to remain anonymous.
I guess I owe them a frap or beverage of their choosing.

Now while 'the few, the proud, the geeky' among us may have the power of furious and righteous indignity on our side, the great mass of the Australian soccer public could not give a fat rat's clacker. Our 'cause', such as it is, is doomed, due to the combination of both a jackbooted bureaucracy acting on behalf of Dear Leader (and a big 'hi' to all my North Korean readers, yes we do have our own 'Dear Leader' who will soon be replaced by his son) and vast consumerist indifference (and here's a question to consider - is apathy better or worse than indifference? Yes, it could very well be a trick question, but Buddhism needs new koans, so here I am offering something for them at least to mull over).

Ideologues are comparatively easy to deal with, if not in the actual reasoning part, then at least the part where you know where they stand. They put forward their beliefs, you put forward yours, and the age old dance of liberal vs conservative gets played out once more. With those whose main goal is a perverse search for a relaxed and comfortable middle ground, for whom the ends justify the means as long as they're not personally adversely affected, there's little you can do. This makes those comments that more or less state 'well, I think people have voted with their feet, and thus this regime must be doing something right' downright infuriating. I can't think of a way in which one would begin to approach this problem, one which is at the heart of Lowy's 'success'.

In a neat coincidence, one of the right wing people
I'm friends with on Facebook put this up on his timeline
yesterday. Being unashamed (proud?) of my physical
inferiority I find myself disagreeing with the notion
put forward in this picture, but as a vivid portrayal of
Mishima's ideology, it looks pretty sweet.

So now that it's clear that our movement is indeed doomed - and if you think it isn't that's great (really, that's not sarcasm), you won't get much value out of the rest of this section, so you can leave now, because this would otherwise be a waste of your time - what do 'I/we/me/us' do? Now Yukio Mishima may have been a right-wing crackpot alongside being a brilliant writer, but at least he believed in something, even if what he believed in was a fanciful version of the past while fully (probably?) understanding that the values he purportedly wanted Japan to re-adopt were never truly realised anyway, and never could be realised. But who among us would re-create Mishima's end - and I stress here for those familiar with Mishima's end, that this analogy is purely metaphorical, and not just because I don't have a kaishakunin - and at least be able to go out in a dignified (albeit in Mishima's and also Seneca's case, very messy), blaze of glory?

The famous Buddhist koan - at least within the East, not necessarily here in the West where we tend to obsess about the sounds of trees falling and one hand clapping - asks us that if we see the Buddha on the road, to kill him, and that goes for Nansen's kitten as well I presume. What then must we as 'bitters' destroy in order to get out of our cycle of romanticism, self-righteousness and self-pity, all while those whom have contributed to our relative destitution continue as they please? Can I even go to my local manoush joint any more, now that they're putting up posters for Salafist speakers? Do any of us have the stomach to transform this movement of five or six people on the internet to become something transcendent and therefore meaningful beyond our little circle? Can our beloved anger become useful, or is our fury, however justified by the circumstances, a hindrance? Is this sense of irrevocable apartness that I feel from the great mass of soccer's support in country a terminal condition? Am I destined to become another one of 'those people', the kind whose support of the national team - which I hitherto held if not as sacred, then at least as separate from the poisonous atmosphere of the current political situation - is reduced either to apathy or bilious hatred?

Saudi Arabia vs North Korea
Approaching the Bubbledome on Wednesday evening I was filled with intense moral quandaries, because both of these nations are evil, and therefore one could not possibly support either of them; and yet there would be people supporting them. Now in the case of the much maligned (sometimes fairly, sometimes not) Iran, this problem could conceivably be ameliorated via the perspective of ethnicity and the affection the diaspora has for the homeland, without necessarily having the tacit approval of any of the policies of said nation state.

For Saudi Arabia and North Korea, this is complicated by all sorts of things. In Saudi Arabia's case, because it's not even a real country as we know it today, just the parts of the Arabian Peninsula ruled by the Saudi family since the 1930s. There were quite a lot of Saudi fans at the game yesterday, but not many women as far as I could tell. Still, the Saudi fans managed to hand out quite a few flags to a lot of people who would probably be revolted with the way that country is run. For the North Koreans, run by an equally hideous regime, there were as far I could tell (or reasonably expect), no actual North Korean fans from North Korea in the stadium. Instead their supporters end at the northern end of the ground was taken up by various members of the Melbourne Victory's active groups.

A good clue towards establishing that they weren't real North Koreans, even from my spot in the good seats, is that the chants (all in English, and all largely taking the piss, eg. North Korea is best Korea, or some such), is that they kept referring to North Korea, which the real North Korea would never do, since they (like the South) consider themselves the real Korea. Speaking of real Koreans, that is people from the Korean Peninsula, there were apparently some in the crowd, I'm guessing sitting well away from the 'North Koreans'.

Told the South Koreans have had their reunification flags confiscated by security. They're here to support North Korea. #PRKvKSA #AC2015
— Joe Gorman (@JoeGorman_89) January 14, 2015

There were also apparently people wearing Kim Jong-Un masks in the northern end, and when security went in to confiscate them, they were jeered by those North Korean sympathisers, who didn't seem to appreciate the gesture made by stadium management towards creating a genuine North Korean experience.

Security moving into the north end for some reason. You'd think the N. Korea supporting hipsters would appreciate the irony #PRKvKSA #ac2015
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) January 14, 2015

Closer to home in Aisle 4, Row D, we were more concerned with not getting crushed to death by the ceremonial flags hanging off the rafters.

Flag lowering ceremony. #PRKvKSA #AC2015 pic.twitter.com/ZnCmL9N2P7
— Les Street (@official_lesdog) January 14, 2015

As the patrons in the relevant area were moved across into the neighbouring bays without too much fuss, one had to wonder though: what was the cause of the problem? While the half filled stadium (attendance at a touch under 13k) allowed patrons to be moved to adjacent bays, what would have happened had the stadium been filled up, say, for a Socceroos match? And who's going to be held responsible for this debacle?

I think @nutmeg_2015 needs to kick a few arses over this flag debacle #PRKvKSA #AC2015
— Mark Boric (@MarkBoric) January 14, 2015

Of course, because no one was killed or injured, there was also a lighter side to the flag situation.

The flags falling down disruption was North Korea's Peter Hore moment #PRKvKSA
— Mark Boric (@MarkBoric) January 14, 2015

Can you believe that lighthearted comment spiralled out of control into a Bitter vs New Dawn argument? Of course you can, it's the internet.

Now friends, there was also a match being played, and it was pretty damn fun and frustrating to watch in equal measure, as both teams pinged the ball back and forth as quickly as possible. The North Koreans looked the more likely to score in the beginning and they did, but surprisingly perhaps the Saudis didn't collapse in a heap, and actually ran over the top of their totalitarian counterparts, while looking quite stylish at the same, though their finishing could do with some work.

The most bizarre thing about the North Koreans though, apart from their coach apparently being on a direct line to Pyongyang, was the overly physical approach they brought to the contest. They copped a yellow card within the first couple of minutes for a pretty savage tackle, and after a few more bad tackles interspersed throughout the game, they finished it off with a brilliant shirtfront which somehow managed to avoid receiving any sort of card. Of course, if you did that in the AFL these days you'd get suspended.

Epilogue mode stolen from Gillian Rubenstein's Beyond the Labyrinth
If you rolled six or under:

Not that it matters anymore, but where is the social club? Since the only acceptable way to socialise in Australia is with booze, and goodness knows no one can possibly have fun without it, it'd be nice if we had some place of our own to have 'fun'.

If you threw over six:
A week or two before Christmas, someone at Victoria University did a bit of a ring around to all the relevant people (except me, and possibly others who I am not aware of) looking for ways to contribute to finding connections to the Asian Cup so Victoria University's academics could be at the forefront of writing on the tournament, thus reinforcing our reputation as the 'sports university'.

After being included (eventually) via being CCed into an email, I did get a phone call asking me what my expertise was exactly, and how would that fit into what the project was about. Well I tried to put forward what my angle is, difficult as it was considering I don't really conduct interviews, and nor does my research have an utterly direct and completely obvious connection to the Asian Cup, and neither did this person really explain what it was that they wanted, but could I at least email him some examples of my work for him to see.

I did so, and never heard back from him. After looking back at this post, it was probably for the best.