The worst season preview ever - 2013 edition

Finally, the new season is just about here. Let's get stuck in.

On-field, the expectations will of course be high. That's what South fans expect, and finishing inside the top three, with the double chance that comes with that, is the only acceptable outcome in the home and away season. For better or worse, there's no more Joe Montemurro on the sidelines for the first time in three years - and now it's all down to Gus Tsolakis and his crew. During this pre-season, however much you can take out of that, we've moved the ball forward more quickly, and haven't been reliant on two or three chances to score all our goals - even if our finishing has been poor this so far.

Defensively, the English trio of Matthews, Byles and Kelly, provided they stick together for most of the season, should provide a more solid defensive framework than last year. With Kiwi Rhodri Payne seemingly finally out of favour, the left-back slot will be a hotly contested position, though there don't appear to be any obvious replacements yet. Will much maligned utility Brad Norton get the gig? Will Phil Petreski be shifted out of his midfield roles to fill the gap? Or will they pull a rabbit out of the hat and give the passionate/temperamental Anthony Giannopoulos a gig?

Since waking up finally when he got a back pass against Port (all praise to mighty Baal), Peter Gavalas has actually looked hungry. He got benched against I think it was the Bergers and instead of a doing a casual warm down he was doing sit ups and push ups like a bit of a maniac. Rumour has it that likely second choice Seb Mattei doesn't give a shit about football anymore, but since it seemed like we had one of those last year as a first choice, who'd notice the difference this year if it turned out the same?

As usual we have more midfielders than you can poke a stick at, and how we fit them all into a starting eleven will be very interesting. With Carl Recchia done for the year, you'd expect Dimi Tsiaras to have the defensive mid slot sown up. Alan Kearney will hopefully add some much needed toughness to the middle, but the attacking midfield roles and wing positions are still all up for grabs, with most of the contenders not completely grabbing the bull by the horns just yet.

Marinos Gasparis looks fitter than he's ever been, but will that help him to overcome his chronic inconsistency? Joe Keenan has been given a fair bit of time this pre-season to show his mettle, but the Keenan of old, who was able to slide past players, slot lovely curved goals and put in good crosses hasn't been spotted for some time. Dimi Hatzimouratis's 2012 season was cut down by injury, and while he hasn't done anything remarkable this past month, there are still those who rate him highly

There are also several young players - among them James Karvellis and Andrew Cartanos - who got game time last year and during the pre-season -, who may be called upon if the above players don't perform.

And what of Fernando De Moraes? He didn't have one of his best seasons last year, and even though his work rate did go up to unprecedented levels for him, that's not what he's there for. A role off the bench role may be what's forthcoming, but will he bes satisfied by that?

There's also the question of Andy Vlahos, who could be used either forward or in midfield. While surely coming to the end of his career, he seems content with coming off the bench, and he was useful in that role last season. His greatest strength may lie in his several years of coaching experience, perhaps adding to the tactical arsenal available to Tsolakis.

Further upfield, Renco Van Eeken, and the Queensland pairing of Tyson Holmes and Rhys Meredith have looked fast and dangerous, without putting anyone other state league two Malvern City to the sword. I can't wait to see how they fit Trent Rixon into this line up. Hell, I can't wait to see Trent's reaction when his first touch in an attacking move isn't 15 metres in our own half.

Let's Digress and Have a Look at the Other Teams
Green Gully

What disaster will happen to us there this year?

Port Melbourne, Bentleigh Greens, Oakleigh Cannons (combined preview)


Richmond
I don't care about their management switch, or which players they've lost or brought in. Like Michael Lynch, all I want to know is, will the food still be as good?

Hume City
Back home again, no need for a trip out to Epping.

Melbourne Knights
Our very own Gus Tsolakis reckons people should keep an eye out for them this year.

Dandenong Thunder

Thanks to the FFV (and for me on two fronts!), this is where we'll be watching this game from this year.

Pascoe Vale
Another team going for the night game angle.

Southern Stars
What now after the end of the Irish Free State? I suppose there'll be some prurient interest in seeing in how Rama is getting along, a bit less so for Jason Ricciuti.

Northcote
Should not be underestimated.

As usual there will also be the myriad off-field shenanigans.
The social club's progress - or rather, lack of it - will be felt more and more as the season wears on. What was meant to be one of the linchpins of our return has yet to materialise, and the dispute with the government about the social club redevelopment fund could well drag on. What would be good would be to see some information from the club on this issue, and though there have been inferences that it is forthcoming,

The end of the year also sees elections for the boards of SMFC and SMH. Will there be any rival tickets this time around? We've not had an actual election for so long. There's been much dissatisfaction from among certain former board members, but will they make a move? And if they do, what will their platform be? Who else will be on their ticket?

Another question to ponder is what role will the expanded suffrage will have in determining our future. Now that voting rights have been opened up to a whole lot more people, will there be increased interest in the behind the scenes working of the club? There were signs at the AGM that outside the ranks of the old social club clique, there were people who were willing to turn up and participate or at least be witness to the nitty gritty of our club's planning.

There's also the question of the National Competitions Review. There are those out there who are claiming that it won't come in next year - witness the splurging by some state league 1 clubs for a promotion spot that probably doesn't exist - and yet you also have certain VPL clubs spending cash like it's going out of fashion for what exactly?

Assuming that the NCR does go ahead next season, how will we be forced to adjust? Will the rumoured 280 point cap - instead of 200 - come in? If it does, will it be permanent, or phased down over subsequent seasons? Will the FFV allow us to keep charging our $3200 a year?

Of course, there is the ongoing issue of the re-conciliation efforts with SMWFC. Progress seems interminably slow on this front, and yet a women's unit will be an essential component of the NCR. Does SMWFC even want re-conciliation, or just co-operation for the sake of the precinct? If they want to remain a social/community outfit, what are our options after that? Is there demand for $3200 coaching for junior girls' teams?

And how much more South for the A-League nonsense will we see this year? Every time I think this issue is going to finally go away for good, it comes back with a bit of vengeance. What will be the next phase in this consuming obsession?

Hint: Another Melbourne Heart is doomed or moving to Geelong is already gathering steam.

As For The Blog

Expect more of the usual sweet nourishing (Krusty Brand Imitation) gruel from myself: match reports where the actual game is almost incidental, more calls to give 'Gia' a run, rushed experiments in stylistic alternatives to our normal writing (thinking about Our Man in Kandahar style things - I'm halfway through Egon Kisch's Australian Landfall at the moment), and the usual South of the Border Cheap Eats guide - we've already lost our original and most loved fall-back place Es Teler '77 on Swanston, now that they've moved somewhere else and re-branded themselves as some sort of Indo-Malay place instead of just plain old Indo.

Maybe even a a retool of the blog's look, because I'm not convinced that we've got close to plumbing the depths of hideous web design that only looks semi-decent on a seven ( I think) year old Benq notebook.

There will also be the usual off the wall observations from the Kiss of Death that has earned this blog its cult audience of movers and shakers, and boy are we looking forward to its contributions before the KOD's usual late season slide into 'too much busy farken, can you do it for me farken' status.

Of course if anyone else (lol, bahahahaha) wants to write for us, just drop us a note. Some more comments would be nice, someone apart from the ever reliable Savvas Tzionis and whichever board lackeys decided to add their two cents of propaganda. Also, maybe this year we'll actually get to see Steve from Broady pitch in with his long promised regular comments or even some stats or something.

I have no idea how much time I'm going to lose for this project now that we're working(!) three days a week and are also expected to do PhD level research and writing, but if my honours thesis year and half was (or more like three months of actual half-arsed effort) is anything to go by, I don't think you'll notice any difference, except for the soccer fiction reviews I'll have teed up for the off-season at the end of the year.

Final Thoughts
I've already seen Oakleigh Harismidis at two separate matches at Chaplin Reserve, once with a knock off Brisbane Bears scarf, and once talking to the canteen ladies telling them how valuable they are to that organisation. It's going to be hard top off that spectacle, but the VPL hasn't disappointed before. Chances are another farcical loss at Gully this Saturday will do the trick.

All Over, Red Rover for Season 2011 - Oakleigh 1 South Melbourne 0

Curious. I did only write this up last night, but thought I had already posted it. 

The simple truth of the matter is that we created few chances and were reliant on Zaim Zeneli making several important saves. Oakleigh dominated us with their physical approach to the game - aided by lenient officials - and the absence of either Carl Recchia (playing in defense) or the suspended Sebastian Petrovich in midfield meant that far too often we were second to the ball and on the back foot.

Much speculation had been raised during the week over who who would take the place of Petrovich and the injured Steven Topalovic. The latter's place was unsurprisingly taken over by Rhodri Payne, while the former was the surprise of the night and perhaps season when Yanni Galanos, who had played all of 25 minutes for the entire campaign was picked ahead of Marinos Gasparis and Fernando De Moraes.

Hindsight is a terrific thing to have, but the coaching staff must have felt that Galanos' ability as a defensive midfielder would make up for the creativity lost by not playing one of the other two. As it turned out, even when Fernando did come on, he had little impact on the game, and as has often been the case, looked a shadow of his 2010 Gold Medal winning form. Galanos, too, had little impact, while Payne, so often a Jekyll and Hyde player, reverted to his Hyde persona, constantly giving the ball away in dangerous areas.

Fernando though, was not alone in producing a sub par performance. For whatever reason, the side looked flatfooted and bereft of ideas, with perhaps the effects of playing several cutthroat games in a row eventually taking its toll. From the Dandenong Thunder game onwards, just about every game the side had played was do or die. In some ways, it was a feat to reach this far, but five consecutive sudden death games was too much for the side.

Zeneli was undoubtedly South's best player. He pulled off several important saves, including one from point blank range in the first half. He was also the victim of two crude challenges, one of which by Oakleigh hardman/biggest dog in the VPL Josh Groenwald left Zeneli with a large gash on his head which required several minutes worth of medical attention. Neither challenge, nor several other rough moments, were dealt with in any serious manner by the officials except for belated yellow cards.

Perhaps the worst and most heinous of all those challenges was from former beloved captain Ramazan Tavsancioglu who, to borrow the words of one spectator, had been lining up Jesse Krncevic since January. An awfully late challenge on the striker off the ball in front of the South bench did little to endear the 2006 championship player to his critics, as well as denting the respect that he had among those supporters who sympathised with his exit from the club.

The closest we got to scoring was early on when Stephen Weir, who otherwise was shut out of the game, hit the crossbar; and midway through the second half, when Jesse Krncevic broke through for a one on one opportunity against Peter Zois, and while he put the ball in the back of the net, the flag had gone up for offside. From my vantage point behind that goal, my instinct was that it was a fair goal. Reports from the better placed patrons on the sideline generally claimed that it was onside, but there was the odd fan who claimed that it was offside. Perhaps the video, when it comes out, may clear up the matter. Perhaps not.

Coach Krncevic delayed in making substitutions, seemingly hoping that the game would reach extra time. It was always a dangerous tactic to pursue, and the team paid for its reluctance in going for the win when a long range shot by Oakleigh nestled into the opposite corner. The player had an eternity to line up the shot, and there was little that Zeneli could do to prevent it going in. Kyle Joryeff was brought on at the death, but had little chance to change the situation, and thus South's rollercoaster season ended with a whimper.

At the time of writing of course, the fate of the coach and several players was yet to be known, and is as usual likely to be hotly debated in the months ahead. As for the blog, the standard procedure will apply, as I wrap up the season that was, hand out the awards, let the Kiss of Death runs its course for 2011 and eventually slow down to the usual off-season pace.

Fair to say that I'm still devastated by the loss, but in full acknowledgment of the crazy season that we had.

The Peter Zois Barriers/The FFV wouldn't know what to do with a crowd
One of the more ludicrous things ever seen at a VPL game - and really, that's some effort to make such a shortlist - were the taped off areas behind each of the goals, allegedly to prevent the goalkeepers from having items thrown at them or have them come into contact with rowdy fans. Among a large part of the Clarendon Corner/smfcboard and assorted hangers on community, this was taken as at least a moral victory for the vocal fan known as Stathi.

Stathi is not even close to approaching any sort of wordsmithery. He can be crude, but he generally never enters the more turgid and offensive territory of the fan known as Columbo, who is currently serving a suspension for his role in last year's pitch invasion against Heidelberg. Both have their supporters and detractors. For all the antics of this game however, Peter Zois didn't snap this time until the end of the game, when he turned around to pick up his towel and grab hold of the badge on his chest and step forward to try and have a few words.

What price Zois places on any sense of loyalty to any club is a mystery to me, and probably many other VPL folk who could rattle off several clubs he has been at and left - but perhaps that is hypocritical to point out considering that we were at least fourth in line out of those clubs. Still, the whole 'I love this club' saga obviously did rankle with him, and will do so into the future. That, and the fact that Joe Keenan speaks better Greek than he does.

As for the FFV, a large crowd turned up, were accommodated poorly both in lining up and inside the ground, and left the poor security staff to their own wits as to how to try and prevent a pathetic barrier not be moved at all. By the time the game had ended, the blockaded area I was behind in the second half had moved closer to the fence by about 3-4 metres, almost as if by magic. There was also a moderately dicey moment early in the game when the lights flickered ominously, but they stayed on. The field itself was a bobbling hovel, sand everywhere and not suited to playing a decent brand of football. Still, if we'd had the double chance we perhaps could have avoided the situation.

The FFV's idea of soccer crowd control. It's so genius that they should think about exporting it to the Balkans or South America. Photo: Gains.

Drinking/How Clarendon Corner keeps on keeping on
I do like a drop of cider, but never to excess.

Clarendon Corner almost always rises to the occasion at Jack Edwards Reserve, and last night was no exception. The return of Lefteri helped things even further, and the interplay with the behind the goals crowd was also very good, considering there were very few chanting types on that side.

Apparently next year is Clarendon's 10th anniversary, with the majority of that spell being spent in the club's most difficult years. For better and worse, it's been one constant that has kept some people coming back, and provided a bit of atmosphere, colour and a point of difference to the other clubs and their crowds that increasingly being made up of old men. I've never always approved, occasionally found myself on the opposite side of an issue, and tend not to forgive the mistakes, but at the same time, been through a lot of good times as well. Maybe time to finally bury whatever hatchets we all have?

Questions that need to be asked

A suitable image stolen from a Lutheran site. 

Just kicking back today, trying to keep it real, but as always, against my will, also thinking about the big questions dealing with our existence. This was prompted in part by my bumping into an old bloke called Thanasi, a Heidelberg fan who I see at Altona East PAOK on occasion, and who loves to get me riled up about South's fortunes - apparently having two players sent off doesn't make copping five goals acceptable, or even plausible. Amazingly, he only seems to surface when South is on a lean run. Still, browsing the forums and thinking back to what's happened over the season thus far, several other questions have also come up. Here's a sample.

• Is Joe Keenan still at South Melbourne? If he is, is he ever going to come back?
• Galanos (rinse repeat)?
• What kind of idiot declares themselves both an ardent monarchist and a fan of Celtic?
• When we are we going to relocate permanently to SS Anderson Reserve?
• When are we going to finally get conned out of our forty year lease at Lakeside?
• Who is really the coach at South? Is it Eddie? Is it Joe? Is it Ange? Whose hand am I supposed to shake first in the event we win the title? Whose head do I call for in the event of a disastrous second half of the season?
• Was Simon Colosimo protesting outside John Cain Memorial Park with the Dandenong Thunder fans last week?
• Does Peter Zois still love this club? If not, which club does he love now, and are they treating him better? 
• Under which circumstances is it appropriate to throw a glass bottle at your brother's head?
• If you come from Glenroy and have a Dickie Knee hairstyle, is it appropriate for you to pay out on someone from Dandenong for having a rattail?
• Did a dingo really take Rama's baby?
• What's the difference between Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Ljubo! Classy Drinking! Crunchalor! Oakleigh 1 South Melbourne 2

What an eventful evening that was. You know it's going to be one of those nights when you're walking down a city laneway and some drunk with a drink in each hand stumbles out of some hole in the walling singing Billy Joel's Piano Man - for some reason Steve from Broady looked quite confused by the spectacle. Probably too young to be a connoisseur of drunken classics of yore.

After killing an hour or so at the Charles Dickens Tavern, the Public Transport Faction was joined by some interlopers for the trip out to Huntingdale. Except we never got that far, because we got off at Oakleigh instead so the interlopers could buy some more booze to drink by the railway tracks. And isn't it always great to see some runt with a rat tail try to heap abuse at you from 50 metres away? Stay classy Oakleigh.

Getting into the ground, it was obvious there was a bit of a buzz about the game. Later we find out that Ljubo Milicevic's papers have come through after the FFV was allegedly bombarded with media inquiries about why he hadn't been allowed to register. Add to that a near brawl when he tried to get into the ground, and a top three clash which has a bit of added spite to it, got even more an edge.

And three minutes in, we scored, a wonderful volley by Marinos Gasparis who is having a pretty good season so far. But not too long after we're penalised with the first of several mystifying free kicks around the area - Ricky Diaco putting away a low drive which got through or around the defensive wall far too easily.

The game then settled down into the following pattern - South would try attack with quick short passing, both through the middle and out wide with overlapping players, while Oakleigh mostly went wide, trying in particular to exploit Steven Topalovic on their left hand side. Milicevic's inclusion was pivotal - while not completely negating the defensive frailties of this season, at least Oakleigh were unable to win a ball in the air, nor were they able to get behind the defence.

Some may have been disappointed with the spectacle, but I felt that the first hour or so was excellent to watch. Oakleigh almost took the lead towards the end of the first half with a deflected shot which hit the post. 1-1 at half time was a fair outcome. The second half started off much the same way, but once we got ahead, with a Steven O'Dor header from the six yard box, the game deteriorated, as both teams resorted to long balls along the wings.

Peter Zois apparently lost his cool at being called a traitor by fans behind the goals, and was probably at fault when they conceded their second. If there's one area of the game where Zois struggles, it's in commanding his six yard box on high crosses, and much like the equaliser we conceded against Bentleigh early last season, he let rip into the defense rather than take responsibility. Perhaps the video footage will vindicate him though.

Gasparis should have wrapped the game up after he faced an empty net, but succumbing to a rush of blood to the head, he blasted it over. The ceaseless free kicks around the box, often for reasons I couldn't fathom, had us all on edge, but for the most they were harmless. Zaim Zeneli had an adequate game in goals, but wasn't tested too often. Jesse Krncevic came through the middle late, but delayed taking a shot, with Zois smothering the ball, but we still got the win, and after several years of struggling to win at Oakleigh, that's now two in a row.

Still no cleansheet, and one wonders what might happen once Ljubo goes. But going forward we look good. Sebastian Petrovic has started passing the ball sideways and backwards too often, and just doesn't have the pace need to win balls even in his preferred middle of the park position. Rama had a quiet game, rarely noticed him out there.

There was one bitter individual standing to the side of Clarendon Corner (who had an excellent game by the way), heaping abuse on Ljubo - it was all sour grapes though, as Oakleigh had tried desperately to sign him before he'd put pen to paper with us. And during the second half I somehow ended up in a conversation which involved comparing NBA and NBL players of bygone eras. Mark Price or Sam McKinnon? Michael Jordan or Andrew Gaze? Clyde Drexler or Shane Heal?

Anyway, that difficult two week stretch is over, and we're back at our home away from next round against the Melbourne Knights. Could we possibly get a clean sheet? Will we be as switched on as we were last night? What random conversation will sprout up this time? And what's going to be for dinner? So many questions and too much time to think about them.

2011 squad lists released

As seen here on the FFV's site. Some interesting names on and not on the South list - and that of several other clubs. The big surprise is seeing Trent Waterson's name on our list - yes, that Trent Waterson. Some may recall Waterson having a sort of breakout season in 2006 for Sunshine in the VPL, including scoring the winning goal against us from an unmarked header in the six yard box at Chaplin Reserve. He joined us the following season, but was never really able to on a consistent basis recapture the form that brought him across in the first place. Then as several players have done in recent times, he went from South to SouthLite - aka Oakleigh - and had their relevance disappear off the face of the earth, and in Waterson's case, even had him being asked - let's just say politely, for what it's worth - by a fan to give back the trophy he was awarded by Clarendon Corner. With so many midfielders in the squad, you have to wonder what people are thinking in bringing him back.

The big story player wise this off-season has been the Ramazan Tavsancioglu saga. Not wishing to revisit the gory details - you can do that elsewhere on this blog - he's found his way to Oakleigh. But in a surprise, Peter Zois, who left us hanging prior to our Singapore Cup quarter final, is not on their list. As aren't Joe Keenan and Yianni Galanos on our lists. Keenan perhaps is still technically regarded as an Adelaide United player, and rumours have circulated that Zois will be a permanent number two at Heart, although as their still current number two he may still be registered there. There's also no Nathan Caldwell - is this the final admission that his playing career, which was halted by a stray Robbie Wynne tackle during the 2009 Hellenic Cup, is never to resume? If so, it's a sad end to what should have been a tidy career at this level - here's hoping I'm wrong.

But what of Galanos? Is his injury so severe that he won't be available for the entire season, as previously rumoured but quickly quashed by the South media machine? Is this why Watersin has been brought back into the fold? And what of the several rumoured super signings waiting in the wings at several clubs? What's the point of putting up a list if there's going to be more added to it and the people you thought were going to be on it aren't on there? Once again, I just don't know how this is all meant to work - but that's part of the fun I suppose.

Rama Rumours Run Rampant

So the story's going something like this.

Eddie Krncevic has stripped the captaincy off Ramazan Tavsancioglu and given it to Steven O'Dor, for reasons which have not emerged yet in any official capacity. Since then, the situation has deteriorated so much that Rama is out of the side altogether. Rama is a free agent and assessing his options - with a return to South under Eddie's tenure almost impossible. Naturally this has set off a massive torrent of support for Rama and a heap of abuse against Eddie Krncevic and the board. But it's never so cut and dried.

Eddie's appointment as coach was not a universally popular one. His previous stint at the club back in the NSL days ended in controversy, with rumours of transfer impropriety, which it must be noted, have never been definitively established in the public sphere. More recently, with his work as a player agent, it has been assumed that he would try and get work for some of his clients, even though as a coach he can no longer be an agent. Bringing over his son Jesse, despite Jesse's undoubted quality as a striker and our desperate need for one, is just another target to aim at for his detractors.

In his first stint as coach at South, Eddie took over after Mike Peterson upped and left for the Football Kingz - Eddie was left with a weakened squad, and after the betrayal of a favourite son, was granted a bit of leniency. For his second stint as as coach at South, Eddie has replaced Vaughan Coveny, whose contract was not renewed. This time will not be easier. Of course, Horsey is a 'club legend', and all sorts of rumours started about how he was treated poorly by the club. All this ignores the fact that the style of football we played was atrocious, regardless of earning enough points to finish in the finals.

Add in the anti-board agendas of several groups, of whom few have had the temerity to actually say something at an AGM, where they did actually attend; the fact that before this situation started, half the Greeks of soccer-forum.net and even some non-Greeks wondered how a 'Greek' club could have a Turk as captain, a tune which has now changed to focusing on the club's apparent betrayal of Rama. And lastly for now, the fact that Rama's uncle was providing sponsorship to the club as well, and it keeps getting worse and worse.

Now if Eddie's goal was to stamp his authority on the team - and I seriously hope it was - he's seriously messed up this situation. If it's merely a case of not rating Rama as a player, Eddie has obviously gone about conveying that message in the worst possible manner, and it has only emboldened those who had him as a marked man even when his appointment as coach was still an internet rumour. It's also interesting to note that Rama has still been appearing at our Hellenic Cup fixtures, while at the same time also acknowledging that the rest of the squad has not risen up in rebellion against Eddie's decisions and processes. Why this is the case, I do not know.

For what it's worth, I like Rama. He seems to genuinely care about the club, has improved his disciplinary record a great deal, and the players generally seem to look up at him. However, there is also the playing side, which I;'ve felt for some time hasn't improved significantly. His crossing is still very poor, which nullifies his effectiveness as an overlapping player. And he's still having difficulty judging balls going over his head, as well as getting dragged towards the middle far too often. But Eddie's also cut James Stefanou and Eddie Cetkin from the side, meaning that experienced defensive stocks are thin on the ground, and that perhaps Eddie's squad management and people skills aren't exactly crash hot.

Should Rama not return this season, will it mean more opportunities for players from our youth squad, such as Josh Colosimo and James Riccobene? I certainly hope so. Krncevic, as coach of Carlton, despite having a large budget for which to purchase high profile players, which he certainly did, also gave opportunities to young players such as Marco Bresciano, Simon Colosimo and Vince Grella. Several young players have been trialled against the lesser likes in the pre-season, and our under 21s did of course cruise to the title last season, playing some attractive football. And isn't this what having sttrong junior sides is all about? Using them to rebuild and replace without needing to shop around?

I'd say this is going to be fun, but it obviously won't be. Once upon a time this club even sacked Paul Wade, who was the Socceroo captain at the time. In part this was because the coach at the time, Frank Arok, felt Paul Wade wasn't up to it any more; and surely an additional reason would have been because Arok wanted to create his own group with new leadership. I hope that this is what Eddie has been aiming for, and that his methods are proven right. Getting rid of a captain and player with several years at the one club is never easy, and Eddie's success and legacy may well rest on this issue alone. The old maxim that no player, no coach and no fan is bigger than the club is about to get a massive work out.

Meanwhile, I'm going to be in my bomb shelter until this thing blows over.

Rama goes on six week stint with Fury

As seen here, though the PR dude or dudette responsible for that post could have had the courtesy to mention our name somewhere in it. It's of course his second injury replacement stint at an A-League club following a stint at Melbourne Victory late in the A-League's first season. Good luck to Rama and all that, but I'm going to sit here mumbling about anti-South Melbourne conspiracies. Don't mind me folks, just waiting for something which will probably never arrive. It's not important. But then again, what's the deal with this injury replacement arrangement still going when these franchises now have youth teams? Nothing against experienced players like Rama getting a go, but at least make it permanent.

Highlights from round 22 against Georgies

Some musings. How rainy was it last week?! Then how sunny?! Then rain, then sun. Poor cameraman. Poor camera. I can't decide if Kyle Joryeff is trying not to sound like a geezer. I'm going to miss Sunshine's keeper Martin John - here's hoping they get promoted again before he retires. How old is he, like a hundred and ten or something? Also chat with Nando, Zois and Rama.

`

SMFCTV Oakleigh vs South highlights

The Peter Zois Show - with special guests

I know that official club communications to the plebeian mass have to be, gah, I hate this word, 'positive' - but surely even the great unwashed out there in internet land can see from this footage that, while yes we had chances, we were incredibly loose at the back save for one man, the great Peter Zois. Also another new commentator. One gets the feeling that everyone left at South will get a go soon at this caper, even the proverbial inanimate carbon rod, before I get anywhere near the microphone. Feels like the succession line for the British throne is shorter. I'm not complaining though, because being a republican one would have to knock back any royal favours and titles which may end up coming my way. It's a matter of principle don't you know.

Singapore Cup special part 3

Vox pops with Kyle Joryeff, Rama, Daniel Vasilevski, Joseph Youseff and Horsey and Rhodri doing the haka.

Hyperbole Station - Gully game highlights

Includes chit chat with Peter Zois, Rama, Nando and Horsey.

Four South players receive state team call up.

Congratulations to Joseph Youssef, Ramazan Tavsancioglu, Steven O'Dor and Laura Spiranovic have all been selected to represent Victoria in the 125th anniversary matches to be played up in Newcastle against a Northern New South Wales Soccer Federation side. Too bad the poor soccer folk down here in Victoria can't get to see a Victorian state team take the field on their own turf unless it's to provide scouting opportunities for the Victory.

Highlights from Preston game with Rama and Stella chit chat

Think about the possibilities...

You can be in a photo, taking your place underneath an ex-A-League law student of Hungarian descent, and next to some kid who deserves more game time and the captain.

You can meet the players outside of a nightclub/mosque/courtroom setting.

You could get some exercise you fat lardo, by warming up with the players.

You sit in the dressing room. Michael Michalokopoulos' spittle dusts your forehead as he urges the players on to great heights - or berates them for their inability to even downhill ski properly.

You sit on the bench. You can either have a good old fashioned chinwag with the fringe players, or stand next to the coach (if he lets you) and pretend you were a certain former football director. Earplugs recommended, but are not included in this prize.

You eat dinner, putting back in the calories you lost waddling around Bob Jane Stadium in the pre-match warm up, and then some. Awesome.

And just in case no one believes you when tell them of your awesome adventure, you'll be filmed and your face plastered all over the internet, on smfcTV as part of a special feature dedicated to you.

If you want to be in the running for this experience, head to the ebay listing, which was at $91 last time I checked, and place your bid. If I had money and there was no running involved, I'd give it a go. But me and running haven't agreed with each other for a long time. Sad but true.

South Melbourne feature club in Goal Weekly

If you pick up a copy of Goal Weekly this week, you'll get a nice double page spread dedicated to South. There's some nice photos, and some commentary from Ramazan, Jimmy Armstrong, Michael Michalakopoulos and George Koukoulas about what it to be part of the greatest football club in the world. It's pretty cool.

Three South players in VPL Bushfire Squad

If the title doesn't make any sense to you, it's a little bit like this. The FFV and Melbourne Victory have organised a little bushfire fundraiser match at Olympic Park tonight, with a selection of VPL players set to play a rep game that more than the people of Tianjin and highranking FFV flunkies will get to see. South's Ramazan Tavsancioglu, Joseph Youssef and Steve O'Dor have been named in the squad, though with Youseff getting injured and only completing half a game on the weekend, one doubts he'll get up for this game. South of the Border is undecided on whether it will attend.

Photo: A Mazu Temple in Tianjin, a likeness of which was to be constructed outside Olympic Park for this match, but which was abandoned when funds became scarce after the FFV had a certain civil matter go against them in tremendous fashion.

Congratulations Ramazan! 100 Games!

Here at South of the Border, we unashamedly love Rama. He gives 100%, tackles hard, jumps into crowds, and on rare occasions scores some crazy goals. And he's always up for a quick chat with your correspondent, even if he doesn't know who the hell I am. Rama being captain this year made total sense. And this week he plays his 100th league game for South. Here's hoping there's 3 points in the bag and maybe a goal as well away to Gully this week.

Yarra Park never stood a chance

Looks like the collective amnesia has shifted from South Melbourne United to Yarra Park Aias. I'm sure in another 50 years we'll sort that out too. I've ordered the jersey Rama is wearing, but hopefully the other two become available for purchase as well, seeing as how there has been a fair bit of interest in the Hellenic strip in particular.

Holy mass of dead insects

Or, I guess I just wasn't made for these times, again,

Or, a slightly jaded version of what went down at the season launch, with the order of events probably messed up bigtime.


What a night! It was the most awesomest, magical, drunken... hold on, that's actually someone else's story. Let me start again.

I'm being driven to the ground in a board member's car. He's got recent AC/DC playing at a decent volume, and though my fingers gently mimic their dinosaur rhythm section, that music's not really my forte. Neither is the Greek music put on, but it's his car, he can play what he wants. And it's not like everyone can get pumped up by listening to Manic Street Preachers 'Mausoleum'. So us people with a more defiantly miserable taste in music sometimes just have to make do. But it's more about the company than anything, which was as usual was quite enjoyable. Especially in regards to a phone call made which we can't elaborate on sadly, for fear of alienating and offending one of our regular readers with its delightful wickedness.

So we get to Lakeside, and we park the car through the side gate, making us like bigshots. After repeatedly being called "Proedre" (president) by South's groundskeeper Argiri over recent months - which was added to in its bizarre backhanded compliment fashion by certain alleged South of the Border fanboys, but that's a story for another day, maybe when I figure out where sincerity ends and irony begins - but it does make you feel like someone important. But by doing it that way, I missed out on walking along the candle lit path in the social club... the right way at least.

After some squandered time which I'll never get back standing around doing not much, I went into the office where people were putting the finishing touches on slides and rundowns... but it was probably best that I leave that area, and so I did. Eventually people start arriving and we chit chat and eat finger food. There's certain stunners there you'll know you'll never see during the season, and the same old diehards who are pretty much always there. And then we get called finally to go in, an hour after we're supposed to have started. Greeks. Go figure.

Seating for 300, with apparently 296 of those spots filled. Walking through the spaces between tables is tough, but manageable. The television screen is at one of the rectangular complex, near the players tables, and the majority of the Clarendon Corner crew here tonight as well those who might be considered mere associates of said crew were at the extreme opposite end of the marquee. Not sure which cake eating boffin came up with that arrangement or why. I pop the sticker in my pocket... more than one person makes the mistake of sitting on their programme and membership brochure.

Speeches are made, and videos are played, choc full of corn which has its fans but not everyone can survive on a diet of pure polenta. And so we were served what I suppose they called the first course, the appetizers, a selection of dips and antipasto on which there was little room to place on our overly crowded tables, and therefore nigh to impossible to fully enjoy. No matter. Soon it was time to tug at the heartstrings some more, by asking people to buy a membership. While I can admit the fact that there were plenty of wives and girlfriends there last night there who wouldn't necessarily turn up to a game, surely everyone else would have or would soon purchase one anyway. But you probably can't take anything for granted anymore... a lesson learned the hard way.

Rama, Horsey and probably Stevie O'Dor were called up to don the three heritage strips we'll apparently be wearing this year. The thinking behind it was that we were celebrating or acknowledging the triumvirate which made South Melbourne Hellas... and everyone lapped it up. Except me, because I'm a trainspotter and I know the truth, or about 95% of it anyway. Hellenic were represented by a striped jersey, United by their amnesiac red 'V', and Yarra Park by ostensibly the main strip we'll be wearing this year which is copy of a 1983/4 Buffalo Cup jersey. So what did happen to the Yarra Park Aias jersey? I'm betting they just didn't know what it actually looked like. Hell, apart from the alleged colours, I don't know either. What were those colours? Yellow and black. Probably best to move on right now.

Time to auction off the players. The auction was split into two parts, with defenders and goalies first and the midfielders and forwards second. Smfcboard purchased Shane Nunes for a lazy gorilla, and bumped up the prize probably on a few players. After a bit of a break - was that when we had the main course? I'd been hanging out for that since lunchtime, and unfortunately I didn't get the chicken. I got veal , which was ok, but the question on every hungry person's lips was, where was all the food? The serving sizes were that modest, and sure the food was good, but seriously, where was it all? And don't get me started on the deserts. How was I supposed to eat my pannacotta without a spoon? It took about 15 minutes to get one, while I sat and watched my little chilled delicacy slowly warm up.

Now where were we? Oh yeah, the auction. The second part saw higher prices, with Fernando winning the title for highest pricetag, somewhat surprisingly perhaps with Horsey back at the club. Every player was given their shirt by a former player, who was asked to say a few words, but usually declined. Jimmy Armstrong told a Scottish joke, Jim Pyrgolios had a spiel in Greek (pretty much the only Greek spoken in an official capacity on the night - interpret that as you wish), and Ulysses Kokkinos was introduced as the Hugh Hefner of Australian football. The hearty welcome for him made me feel uneasy. How is it possible that a convicted cocaine trafficker and shameless user of women can be so loved, but Con Boutsianis be so reviled?

Former President George Donikian got his chance to hold court once more. Seeing him previously outside the tent, I was struck by how much less he looked like George Donikian in person than on television, if that makes sense. His speech inspired most, but I thought he rambled on too long without really any distinguishing remarks. His groupies didn't seem to mind though, one telling me how much she loved that man. It's about the closest we came to celebrity on the night. One wonders which semi-famous people will crawl out from their rocks when the anticipated really big 50th anniversary bash happens. And with the raffle, silent auctions, and constant and infuriating noise of people talking over the speakers, that was pretty much it.

The highlight for me was. Rama getting named as captain. It's a deserved accolade, which also showed to all those people who have already made their minds up about this issues, that perhaps we're not the ethnic enclave they think we are. In the programme provided his ambition was not to play A-League, improve as a player or go overseas; it was to earn the respect and admiration at South that player like Trimmers are held in. While the eras are different, and he doesn't have the skill, the fact that he wants to achieve his goals here, that he wants the responsibility of being captain is tremendous.

I got to hold the Hellenic Cup trophy, which is nice and heavy. There's a photo of me and one of the local larrikins somewhere out there in the digital realm. What is it with people acting like dickheads in the city these days? In the cab on the way home some dickhead deliberately struck the driver side mirror. You could see him lining up the shot. What was the point of that? Maybe I need to be like everyone else and drink more, than it'll all make sense. I had one glass of wine and people's heads turned. You may be surprised to learn that I had a good time overall. And this morning I had a 25 minute spell on my $5 exercise bike, while everyone else was fucked up. So there.