South of the Border Awards 2013

Hmm. Is it worth doing a season review? Probably not. You can just go back and read about what happened in the usual way.

In a blog full of self-indulgence, this is just about the most self-indulgent of posts. A person who has never played the game, who can barely make out what's going on the field, and even if he could, is usually too apoplectic with rage to make any useful judgments anyway.

Which is just another way of saying it's time for the 2013 South of the Border Awards. For previous editions of this mini-extravaganza, see this link.

Player of the year: It could have gone to Pete Gavalas for his massive turnaround in form. It could have gone to Brian Bran for being our best over the second half of the year. It could have gone to Tyson Holmes for being a thorn in Steve From Broady's side. But this award has never followed any sort of logical decision making process, and we're not about to start now.

Trent Rixon gets my vote in 2013 because when he finally got fit, he showed us not only the form which saw the club bring him over in the first place by scoring several goals, but he also displayed a joyful combativeness up front. For the first time since he made the move from Northcote, he looked like he was actually enjoying being at and playing for South - the highlight being his celebration with statsman Steve from Broady away at Port Melbourne.

Under 21 player of the year: The Cliff Hussey Memorial Trophy (this year selected by Steve From Broady) goes to Baggio Yousif. I'm not going to disagree with that.

Goal of the year: Ljubo Milicevic. Now, unlike last year, there were several brilliant/crazy/timely goals scored in 2013. Andy Vlahos' belter of a free kick at home against Green Gully. Soolsma's free kick at home against Hume City. Holmes' overhead at home against Richmond, or Hopper's excellent control in the away fixture against Richmond. Either of Fernando's goals against Preston in the cup, for the pure emotion of it if not the execution.

But for the way the planets aligned for Ljubo's own goal, I couldn't bring myself to award it anyone else. His return to Lakeside, finally playing for the club he apparently supported as a kid, South down 2-1 due to some comical defending, and the out of absolutely nothing, Ljubo heads it into his own net, and the South fans start chanting his name. It was a lot of a fun.

Best performance: Hmm. The win against Northcote in the Dockerty Cup was pretty epic. The win against Bentleigh away was awesome. But I'm going to go with Green Gully away in round 1. Seriously, I was happy to have the season end right there and then. We killed them from start to finish and nothing went wrong at all. See in you in another 27 years when it happens again.

Best away game of the year: Melbourne Knights semi-final. It had to be something special to beat our first away win at Gully since 233 BCE or whenever it was. Without any intentional disrespect against all the other clubs, that night against our old foe Melbourne Croatia, it felt like we were in a real league, playing against a real team. They even booed our goal! When was the last time that happened? And what a beautiful smash and grab win it was. Pure joy.

Call of the year:
"Hey goalkeeper, you look like a highlighter!" (David, host of SMFC TV), said during the cup match against Northcote, in reference to their goalkeeper's get up of fluoro green jersey and shorts with black socks.

Runners up:

• "There are ten players out there for South called 'cunt' and one called 'Andy' (Vlahos)" (Ian Syson, Southern Stars at home)
• "He went down like he ate a hot dog from Green Gully" (Steve From Broady, during the under 21s game at home to Green Gully)

Chant of the year: "You're supposed to be in church!", Oakleigh home match. There were a couple of other contenders, especially late on in the season, such as:

"Dodgy Asian Betting, Now We're In The Finals!" (Gully final)

and

"Our social club
Does not exist
Our social club does not exist
It's got no door, and no window
Our social club does not exist" (Northcote final)

But the winner had a certain, je ne sais quoi to it.

Best after match dinner location: Man, I missed a lot of these this season, and there were a lot of disappointing affairs here. Chief among the disappointing places were that trendy ramen place on Lonsdale Street (bland, bland, bland), and the deplorable Coconut House (except for the incredible soy milk). So, almost by default, it goes to Thai Deli again, for their Pad Thai. Good to support a local South Melbourne business as well.

Friends we lost along the way:  The Brunswick City souv. Our FFV media pass holder status.  Our position of being somewhere about fifth or sixth in line for news that 'you can't tell anyone, seriously'. I think we're about 23rd in line now, behind the Cypriot peanut man who they don't let in the ground, but still ahead of Michael Lynch. Small mercies and all that.

Barely related to anything highlight stupidity of the year:  We have to go right back to the start of the season. I'd given Gains and Steve from Broady a lift to Green Gully Reserve, as is my custom. Now, we were all in agreement, based on many previous experiences, that you do not eat the food at Green Gully, except possibly the hot jam doughnuts, because even Green Gully couldn't manage to fuck those up, surely?

So anyway, we won the game, we were all happy, and it was time to go home. Now, if you've never driven Steve from Broady anywhere, you should know two things are likely to happen. Firstly, he'll try and tell enough stupid stories that will make you laugh until you black out and crash into an oncoming truck. Secondly, he will pummel you with so many crackpot theories or stupid questions that eventually you'll just ask him to shut the fuck up already.

Well, we hadn't even got out of the car park yet (an ordeal in itself at Green Gully) before he's already worn my patience thin by asking a really daft question. I abused the fuck out of him for doing so, and then he was very quiet all the way home. So quiet, that I actually felt really bad about the whole situation.

Well, a few months later, upon reminiscing about that drive home in a conversation, Steve casually mentions that he wasn't quiet because of the abuse I'd dished out. No, he was quiet on the ride home because he felt sick as a dog, and was very close to throwing up. And why was he close to throwing up? Because against everyone's experience and advice, including his own, he'd had a Green Gully hot dog.

That's your expert food reviewer right there.

Did both teams drop two points? South Melbourne 2 Melbourne Knights 2

The match started flat. Well, we were flat at any rate, and my mood wasn't helped by conspiracy theory discussions and Thailand trip reminiscences (thanks for the shirt, Con!). And then we justly conceded the opening goal. And then we started playing well.

Our first equaliser was ruled out for offside, and there seem to be differing theories as to its legitimacy. For our actual equaliser there was little doubt, as Brad Norton added another goal to his impressive tally this season.

And then we fell asleep again, in the most heinous sort of fashion. Shayan Alinejad was free for about five minutes at the back post, and while he may have been offside, and while the finish was classy, he should not have had that kind of room. It's Defending 101.

So we went into half-time 2-1 down, and while I'm not begrudging the Knights their lead – they at least had the ability to finish – I was left feeling as if there were more goals left in the game, and if that we bothered to actually look like we were interested, that we'd be scoring most of them.

As it turned out, there was only one more goal in the game. And it didn't even come from our own labour, as we struggled to finish off a series of chances and were also denied by some desperate Knights defending. No, our second equaliser came from an own goal.

It could only have happened to Ljubo. Photo: Melbourne Knights.

Poor Ljubo. Playing for his boyhood club against one of their more important rivals – and the team he spent a memorable, what was it, eight matches with just a couple of years ago – and he coughs up an own goal. And it wasn't just any own goal, it was something so daft that you have to see it to believe it. All you can think of at a moment like that is 'it's funny because it's not happening to us'.

While there's people out there who've claimed that you 'couldn't make this shit up', Steve From Broady took a decent stab at it, having predicted in jest before the game that a Ljubo own goal would give South a 2-1 win. Close, but no cigar.

I have already read that some Knights fans think they could have got all three points if they finished a bit better in the first half. That's not an illegitimate position to take, but I reckon more important was our own attitude. Once we decided that we wanted to control this game, I think it became evident that we had more influence over this game's result.

When we come out to play, we are the equal of pretty much any of the leading sides in the league. When we seemingly choose to cruise through portions of the game, we look sloppy and second rate. The one saving grace is that last year, we were losing these games, relying on 15-20 minutes of OK football and three chances.

This year at least we're creating several good chances per game, and are at least putting together 45-60 minutes of solid football. It's not enough, but it shows we've made some progress, and that there's even more room for improvement. In contrast to a few people, I reckon Trent Rixon actually had a half decent game, even if it's frustrating for everyone that he's not yet on the score sheet this season. I'm not convinced that he's the best fit for the kind of pressing football that we want to play, but that's another issue entirely.

An Unplanned Detour
It's been fascinating reading other people's thoughts on this game. As mentioned earlier, Knights fans seem to feel a little hard done by based on their first half efforts, but afterwards feel fortunate to get a point out of the match based on their second half. One South fan saw the Knights putting on a lot of pressure on the first half, whereas I saw a South team that looked tentative and bereft of ideas, and even looking a bit slack, with the Knights taking advantage of that. It's another case of the same game and the same series of events being viewed differently by different individuals.

I only bring this up this week because in the course of looking back at Ljubo's brief stint at South, I came across this match report from 2011, when we got slaughtered 5-0 by Northcote (that we're playing them this week is a lucky co-incidence). One of our readers had a very negative reaction to what I had written, and I'd tried to defuse the situation with my patented 'let's trying reasoning with them' approach, before the Kiss of Death jumped in with a stronger, perhaps more hostile response.

Being a very sensitive soul, such criticism does take its toll on me, no matter how thick-skinned I pretend to be. Thankfully, I reckon most people who read this work are well aware of the context in which I'm writing - as a non-expert, partisan supporter. I'm also glad that most of the feedback we receive is positive, even for parts where the reader may disagree about our content.

Brenton Hayward and Gus Tsolakis know it's a game of opinions. Photo Cindy Nitsos.

While it was mostly me contributing to this site, I could to some extent keep such concerns to myself. Now that we have four of us contributing in some way, I'm more aware of the kinds of issues that can arise. Not that it's happened yet to Steve From Broady or Manny's work, but the Kiss of Death has won its cult audience based on its hard hitting, take no prisoners, poke them in the eye approach. Occasionally, despite the written disclaimer that I am not the Kiss of Death, that work has been equated with me, the non-expert, glasses wearing, never played a game in its life character, as opposed to the player, coach, administrator Kiss of Death character.

In my mind, these are not different personas of the same writer, they are clearly two distinct authors. I realise that it's easy for me to say that; after all, I know who the Kiss of Death is. And yet people who know both myself and the Kiss of Death in 'real life', have been among the people who have equated the Kiss of Death's work with my own.

In taking this detour, my aim wasn't to ask any of my writers to pull back, nor to add further caveats and disclaimers on to my work - only to digress briefly to see how diverse the views on our game can be, even within a very small sample of of people.

Back to the game
Finally, while I don't think that it had a major bearing on the end result – our poor finishing and pretty poor first half did most of the damage – but the refereeing was pretty crappy.

You Don't Look Half Bad For A 60 Year Old
This year is the Knights' 60th anniversary. As part of commemorating that event, there was a nice video played before the game and during half timeshowcasing the highlights of our rivalry. As it turns out there, were some not bad moments over the journey. There was also a commemorative plate given by South president Leo Athanasakis to his Knights equivalent Ange Cimera. When packing up the social club last year, I came across several such commemorative items, mostly dating back to the 1990s. I didn't realise that the practice still continued, but I'm pleased to see it's not dead in the water yet.

Steve from Broady's Under 21s Report
South Melbourne's under 21s were finally back in action on Sunday after two weeks with no game. South, taking on rivals the Melbourne Knights, were looking to get back into some decent form to push them up the table so they could get back into the title race.

South kicked off the match in sunny conditions. The first half was a very tight affair, with both teams struggling to gain an inch on their opponents with an equal amount of turn overs, balls into the box, shots and clearances. It was a fairly uneventful half but towards the end of the first half there was a piece of action that fired up both teams when a Knights defender put in a disgusting tackle on Anthony Giannopoulos in front of the Knights bench. Both benches were up in arms South screaming for a red and the Knights bench calling for a dive, which was quite embarrassing from the Knights as the tackle clearly should have seen the Knights player dismissed from the game - but he managed to stay on the pitch to the surprise of many at Lakeside and added more questions about the refereeing in the under 21s competition this season.

The first half come to an end with the score 0-0. The crowd was building up nicely as the second half began. South started dominating possession early in the second half and was creating good chances while moving forward. In the 53rd minute South were rewarded for their good start to the half when Cartanos picked the ball up on the edge of the area and blasted the ball across the keeper into the top right corner of the net to give South a 1-0 lead.

South went up another gear after that goal and continued to dominate the match and nine minutes later it was Cartanos creating a goal out of nothing as he smashed another long range shot into the back of the net. At that stage of the game Knights looked finished and South continued to dominate as the game came to a close. In the final minutes Solano picked up his second yellow card of the season for a silly tackle. It finished up 2-0 South Melbourne, the city is blue and white until the next time the two teams play each other.

Here's hoping this win is the start of a long winning streak which can send South to the top of the league, until next week get around it!!!!!!

Steve from Broady's Canteen Report
South's canteen was on centre stage this week after a cup round of disgraces worse than sliced bread e.g. (coffee stands closing at half time, canteens closing at full time of a cup game which is going into extra time). Anyway South's food van picked up its game this week, producing a quality souv with lamb that for once was not, dry a good portion of tzatziki and of course the legendary pita bread. After the game the canteen stayed open for the under 18s game which flabbergasted me after what happened last week. Anyway, I talked my way into a free kransky with the canteen woman. Besides the fact it was free, it was a pretty decent kransky, I rate the South food van this week an 8.5 out of 10. They're so close to that 10/10, can they crack it before season's end? Only the food gods know, until next week keep off the sliced bread.

1. Pascoe Vale 10/10
2. Hume city 8/10
3. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
4. Southern Stars 2/10
5. Green Gully 1/10
6. Dandenong DQ

South food truck

• Week 1, 4.5/10
• Week 2, 7/10
• Week 3, 8.5/10

I'm still not sure why the Jordanians had a stuffed rabbit. Photo: Gains

National Duty - Australia vs Jordan
I don't like the Docklands Stadium, but at least most times you can count of having a half decent view of proceedings. Sadly this was not the case for me and my crew on Tuesday, where we found ourselves on the ground level behind the goals, about ten rows back, with the crossbar blocking a good deal of the view.

We did get to see a fair bit of first half action, but the second half frankly was a bit of a blur. I think I saw Cahill's header for his goal, but the rest was a bit of a mess, and we had to take our cues from the parts of the crowd who could actually see the action at that end.

We were two bays over from the Jordanian supporters, who made a bit of noise until they copped the first goal, and were heard less and less as they conceded more goals. As for the Australian home end, they were pretty quiet except for when Archie Thompson came on.

At half time, as per the New Zealand friendly at the MCG a few years ago, they gave out a few retrospective caps to national team players. I think I was the only person to cheer for Michael Curcija getting his. Some people don't get no respect, but I'm no longer surprised by it, and only a little bitter.

The dreaded Mexican Wave got a very good run. I much preferred the old fashioned foot stamping. Still, the team is one favourable result from another World Cup appearance, and we should be grateful for that, considering the sputtering mess that the campaign has been up to this point. Almost time to roll out the bandwagon again.

Next Week
Rematch vs Northcote, this time at their place, and in the league. It's the start of a pretty tricky series of games - the good thing is, that after this game, they're mostly home games.

Final Thought
To a different Con from the one mentioned at the start, get well soon mate, and we hope to see you at South again as soon possible.

Sivasspor 1 Buyuksehir 2

Yes, this bloke played for us this year. Also, does anyone still watch SBS's The World Game?

South of the Border Awards 2011

Player of the year: Carl Recchia. This was a close run thing in my mind. Considering how many players were absent for extended periods throughout the season, as well as the fact that we used over 30 players during the season, ultimately I had to look for the most versatile, most determined and most valuable player, and Carl was that person this season. With apologies to Zaim Zeneli, who did a good job in goals as an unknown quantity; Jesse Krncevic, who scored lots of goals but could have scored more had he been on the field; and Kyle Joryeff, who I marked harshly last season, but was this season's biggest improver.

Under 21 player of the year: The Cliff Hussey Memorial Trophy goes to Jake Vandemey and Josh Colosimo. Yeah, I know, ties suck. But also, wow, this was hard to pick again. Despite churning through a few young players, not many of them got an extended go, and those that did - Kamahl Ibrahim and Kliment Taseski - didn't impress me all that much - please no more more loaning of young playesr when we have our talent to draw on. Even the under 21s team went through a mountain's worth of players. Injuries and defections

The reason I pick these two lads, is because even though they spent most of the season not even playing for South, and instead participating in a league several notches lower in terms of standard, their willingness to see their tenure at Hobart Olympia as an opportunity rather than as a barrier to their ambitions to play senior football in the VPL. They certainly seemed to provide a positive influence on a previously struggling Olympia outfit both on the field and off it with their professional attitude.

Goal of the year: Kyle Joryeff, against Bentleigh round 2. The obvious choice would be Jesse Krncevic's effort against Northcote, round 22. There were some good free kicks and such along the journey, but Joryeff's control, turn and shot for what turned out to be the winning goal in the game was an early season highlight of mine.

Best performance: Oakleigh away, during the home and away season. We thoroughly deserved the win, and only conceded a goal from a stupid free kick.

Best away game of the year: Purely from a fan's point of view, and disregarding the result and the frankly woeful performance, the semi-final loss against Oakleigh. A good crowd, and South fans created a terrific atmosphere. It was great to have Lefteri back this year as well. Hopefully we see him at plenty of away games next season also.

Call of the year: "Northcote have received so much money from us over the past two years that they should have 'South Melbourne' on the front of their shirts". Probably a bit harsh, but at least it was memorable and more than just a little insightful.

Chant of the year: Maybe I missed some really good ones not being near Clarendon Corner, but I reckon it'd have been hard to top this one. When Ljubo Milicevic had a decision go against him in the home game against Springvale White Eagles, the chant went up 'the referee's an Anglo'. Classic. Runners up were Clarendon Corner chanting my name early in the season, and MCF's effort against Cobram Victory in the Mirabella Cup. "Give me a 'C', give me an 'O', give me a 'B', give me an 'R', give me an 'A', give me an 'M', what does spell? INCEST!" Crude, tasteless, wonderfully oldskool

Best after match dinner location: Look, it has to be during the season proper. Otherwise the Hellenic Club in Hobart would have won this hands down (and even the call of the year for tha matter). But the Hot Space Szechuan Bar in Russell Street makes a fiery but awesome gung po chicken that even manged to stop Steve from Broady from shoveling it down in his usual reckless manner. How about that? Consecutive years of spicy chicken dishes win this title.

Friends we lost along the way: Aussie Disposals blue/white no.2. What a piece of crap umbrella that was. Carked it upon opening against some team or other. Supermercado; don't think we saw him any any game this year. Wherever you are Mercs, please come home, we miss you.

Kiss of Death, Round 15, 2011

Scotch Watch
Bentleigh's 1-0 win over South last week saw them overtake South on goal difference in this contest, before South's midweek win over the VTC saw the Blues return to a three point lead and also to a positive goal difference. Both teams have now played the VTC and each other twice.

• South Melbourne, 3rd place, 27 points, goal difference +3
• Bentleigh Greens, 7th place, 24 points, goal difference +1

Richmond vs Northcote City
9th v 5th. Richmond is coming off a 1-2 surprise win away to Dandenong, while Northcote is coming off a 2-0 home win to lowly St. Albans. In what is shaping up as a tough game, I think Richmond will continue their winning ways and beat a Northcote that will be without influential striker Trent Rixon, who received a red card last weekend. Richmond 2 – Northcote City 0.

Hume City vs Dandenong Thunder
2nd v 6th. Hume are going along just nicely this time of the season. A 0-3 away win at the Bergers last week and they are on a six game unbeaten run. Dandenong is coming off a shock loss to Richmond and a slap in the face from the tribunal midweek. Turns out their initial $8,000 fine and four game lockout suspension was increased by the tribunal to a $20,000 fine and a two game lockout on appeal. Quite frankly, as mentioned previously, it was silly to appeal the tribunal's initial determination. Clubs need to evaluate logically any determinations dished out by the tribunal, before they tackle the charges emotionally. At the end of the day, unless you can find an error in the process, you are wasting your time. Any appeal, even in a court of law, is only heard on new evidence, or on errors by the preceding magistrate. After reading the final determination, none of these were presented by Dandenong Thunder. Correct me if I’m wrong please. Hume City 3 – Dandenong Thunder 1.

'I got kicked in da chest bro!' What odds for wild scenes this week?

Melbourne Knights vs Springvale White Eagles
10th v 11th. Probably the match of the round and a tipper's nightmare. Both these teams have been very disappointing this season. Personally, the progress of the Knights worries me more than Springvales. With the VTC not able to be relegated, one of these teams will go down instead. Whoever loses this match will find it difficult to pick themselves out of the hole they have spent the year digging. Under Bojo, the Eagles have been playing some good football, but will it be enough to beat the Knights at Somers Street? No. Melbourne Knights 3 – Springvale White Eagles 2.

South Melbourne vs Heidelberg United
3rd v 4th. According to the FFV’s Facebook page, “The Greek Derby”. A must win for South. We haven’t beaten the Bergers during the season proper for a while. So long now that I can’t even think of when the last time was. Rumour has it Recchia and Gaspa are nearing full fitness and will come into the starting 11 this weekend, against the Osagie-less Bergers. Ljubo has apparently packed his bags for Europe, and to be honest, this omission will be a breath of fresh air for a team who seemed to be losing it a few weeks back. Hopefully this will allow the creative players like Recchia, Gasaparis and Fernando to breath easier in the midfield. South Melbourne 3 – Heidelberg United 0.

St. Albans Saints vs Green Gully Cavaliers
13th v 8th. If St. Albans can’t win a game this weekend, then they never will in the VPL. A must win game against an up and down Gully. St. Albans 2 – Green Gully 1.

Oakleigh Cannons vs Bentleigh Greens
1st v 7th. This game will not be played this week. It’s been pushed back one week. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Bentleigh Greens 2.

0 ɔʇʌ 9 ǝuɹnoqlǝɯ ɥʇnos - pǝʇɔǝdxǝ sɐ

˙ǝsol ʎlqɐqoɹd ll,ǝʍ ˙ƃɹǝqlǝpıǝɥ ʇsuıɐƃɐ ʞǝǝʍ sıɥʇ ʇuǝɯuƃıssɐ ɹǝɥƃnoʇ ɥɔnɯ ɐ `ʎɐʍʎuɐ

˙sʍoɹɥʇ lnoɟ ǝɥʇ ɥʇıʍ sʇnu ƃuıoƃ puɐ plǝıɟ ǝɥʇ uo sƃuıɹɐǝq sıɥ ƃuısol pǝʇɹɐʇs ǝɥ ǝɹoɟǝq `ʇuıʇs sıɥ ɟo ʇɹɐd ʎlɹɐǝ ǝɥʇ uı lnɟǝsn uǝʌǝ sɐʍ ǝɥ ˙unɟ ǝɯos pɐɥ `sɥƃnɐl ǝɯos pɐɥ ǝʍ ʇnq




˙oƃ ʇǝƃ ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ ʇɥƃıɹ `uǝddɐɥ oʇ ƃuıoƃ sɐʍ ʇı ʎɐʍ ʎluo ǝɥʇ ʎllɐǝɹ sɐʍ sıɥʇ `ʇsǝuoɥ ǝq s,ʇǝl ¡ʇɥƃıɹ ooʇ ¡ʎddɐɥ ʎpoolq ʎllɐǝɹ sı ǝuıʎɹǝʌǝ ʎlʇuǝɹɐddɐ puɐ ʞɔɐs ǝɥʇ ʇoƃ ʎlʇuǝɹɐddɐ oqnɾl ¿ɹɐǝɥ noʎ pıp

Clarendon Corner rails against our recent poor form by viewing the game upside down. Thankfully their banner is still the right way up, and hence quite readable. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

˙ɹǝqɯǝɯǝɹ llıʍ ǝɥ ɟı ɹǝpuoʍ ı ˙ƃuıʞɐʇ oʇoɥd ʎʇılɐnb ɹǝɥ ɹoɟ ǝsıɐɹd ʎɯ uo ssɐd oʇ ɯıɥ ploʇ ı ˙sɐlıɯ ɐʇıuɐ ɹǝɥdɐɹƃoʇoɥd llɐqʇooɟ lɐɔol ɟo puɐqsnɥ `sɐlıɯ ʎɹɹɐɥ uɐɯsǝuıl ɥʇıʍ ʇɐɥɔ ǝɔıu ɐ pɐɥ oslɐ ǝʍ ʇnq ˙,ǝuoɥd ɹıǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞool oʇ noʎ oʇ ʇxǝu uosɹǝd ǝɥʇ llǝʇ, puɐ `,punoɹƃ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ noʎ ǝɹɐ, `ǝʞıl ˙sllɐɔǝuoɥd ǝƃuɐɹʇs ʇoƃ ı puɐ ˙ploɔ ʎpoolq oslɐ sɐʍ ʇı

˙ʇooq ɹǝɥʇɐǝl ɐ ɟo sʇuɐuɯǝɹ ǝɥʇ ƃuıʍǝɥɔ ʇ,usɐʍ ı ʇsɐǝl ʇɐ ʇnq `ǝɹǝɥʇ ʎɹoʇɐlǝʌǝɹ ƃuıɥʇou ˙ıʞɐlʌnos uǝʞɔıɥɔ ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ oƃ oʇ pǝpıɔǝp puɐ ǝɯıʇ sıɥʇ ɥɔıʍpuɐs ʞɐǝʇs ǝɥʇ pǝpıoʌɐ ı ˙ǝlqɐlıɐʌɐ sɐʍ oɥʍ ɟo pɐnbs ɥʇƃuǝɹʇs llnɟ ɐ ʎlʇsoɯ

˙uıɐƃɐ ƃuıʇsǝʇoɹd ǝɹǝʍ ʎǝɥʇ ɹo ʇɐɥʇ ɹǝɥʇıǝ ˙ssǝnƃ ı pɐǝɹ oʇ ɹǝısɐǝ ǝɹɐ sɹǝuuɐq uʍop ǝpısdn ʇɐɥʇ ʞuıɥʇ oɥʍ `ɹǝuɹoɔ uopuǝɹɐlɔ uɐǝɯ ı `spıʞ looɔ ʎq puɐ - sʎɐp ǝsǝɥʇ ʇı ƃuıop ǝɹɐ spıʞ looɔ ǝɥʇ llɐ ʎɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʎlʇuǝɹɐddɐ sı sıɥʇ ˙ʇ,uop `uʍop ǝpısdn sʞool ʇxǝʇ sıɥʇ ʎɥʍ ƃuıɹǝpuoʍ ǝɹɐ noʎ ɟı

Shenanigans - Green Gully 3 South Melbourne 2

It was the closest to a full strength side we'd seen for some weeks - hell, we even  managed to play well, though good chances for either side were few. And yet somehow we come out of this fixture again without a win, and on this occasion without even a point which is the least we deserved.

Of the returning players, Jesse seemed to make the bigger difference, as Gully marked him tightly, which might be why there was more room for some of the play on the wing. All in all, I can't really fault anyone out there today, except for our  goalkeeper Abdel Deroune who had an absolute shocker.

It's quite possible to pin all three goals we conceded on him. Green Gully had few other clearcut chances to score, yet anytime they crossed the ball into the box I felt more and more nervous as Deroune was all over the shop from the beginning. Even regulation low powered shots and crosses where he was under no pressure were slipping out of his grasp.

Foul Throws
At this level I might get to see a foul throw called once a season. Today there were about four or five of them, all called against us, and at least two of those called on Ljubo 'Keeping It Real' Milicevic. And those I was able to see on the side nearest to me certainly looked dodgy, so good on the ref for calling them.

New Umbrella
With the weather turning this way and that, it was time to find a new umbrella. So I went down to Altona Gate Shopping Centre, saw some guy who looked like Kyle Joryeff, but didn't find anything that satisfied me in the way of an umbrella. Thankfully a random trip to Footscray Market was more worthwhile, and I allegedly got a $5 discount from the Vietnamese lady. Well, kudos to you shopkeep, as at least it managed to last longer in battle that the previous umbrella that I had.

Next Game
Next Sunday at Northcote against Springvale White Eagles. Surely we will win this game. Surely Zaim Zeneli will have to come back in for this match. Otherwise I'm calling shenanigans.

Final Thought
Who would have thought that in a game where we restricted the opposition of next to nothing of value going forward, won ourselves and scored two legitimate penalties at that ground, hit the crossbar denying us 3-2 lead, we would still find a way to lose.

Bad day at the office - Hume City 5 South Melbourne 0

More or less everything that could go wrong on the field did so today. Captain Steven O'Dor was missing from the start, with Carl Recchia in defense once more. After a couple of early chances for South, Hume took the lead with a powerful and accurate long range strike, which Zaim Zeneli had little chance of reaching.

Things took a turn for the worse, when Jesse Krncevic received an instant dismissal for a behind the scenes incident, and was soon followed by Ljubo Milicevic after an at best clumsy, and at worst reckless high challenge. The 2-0 goal followed from that free kick, with Recchia injuring his ankle in the goalmouth scramble that lead to the goal.

After half time Hume eased off the pace, but still thoroughly controlled the match, except for the occasional foray forward on the right hand side by South. In one of those instances, while 3-0 down, one of our players received a two handed push in the back while chasing a ball in the box that was either missed or ignored by the officials.

It summed up the day for South, as the game, dead as a spectacle from early on, petered out to its predictable finish with more goals to the home side. Senior players were subbed off, and some kids got to fill in the time left. A tough few weeks coming up after the Easter break, where Eddie's coaching mettle and the talent and readiness of some our younger players will be put to the test.

Day of Ghosts - South Melbourne 1 Richmond 0

Well, this was an unusual day.

The weather wheeled and turned the way it used to do in Melbourne. Rain, sun, wind, hot, cold, not necessarily in that order. Got to wheel out the Greek phrase "ο ήλιος έχει δόντια (the sun has teeth)", meaning that even though the sun is shining, there is no warmth. There's apparently also a version of this saying in Albania, so there's a good chance that it's a wider Balkan thing. The second umbrella I bought from Aussie Disposals kicked the bucket about five seconds after I opened it. So it goes.

And Lefteri was back, after years and years away. For the uninitiated - Lefteri was the sound of South Melbourne Hellas for about 25 years. The specific sound was his trumpet, calling ours fans to arms. Even if you didn't know what he looked like, even if you stood in another part of the ground, the trumpet was as much as part of the South Melbourne experience as souvlakia and a long line at the ticket booths two minutes before kickoff.

South fans happy to have Lefteri back. Photo: Cindy Nitsos

There are several rumours circulating about the reasons for his seven year absence. And it wasn't like there weren't several efforts in the post-NSL era to try and get him back. Why did he come back today of all days? Will he be back next week? The week after? Who knows. With all due respect to Bruno, the lad who's filled in on trumpet duties on and off in the year's since Lefteri's absence, it was nice to hear the original, even if it wasn't quite as powerful and fluent as it used to be, and to see him in his vintage vest, loaded with patches. In a very small way, for many it felt like nothing had changed. A quick look around though quickly breaks that illusion.

We started off the game well, dominating the first twenty minutes or so. All our chances went to waste though, and our slicing and dicing of the Richmond defence was all for nothing. The visitors picked up their game, but were still mostly reliant on set pieces on causing us problems. Steven O'Dor was back in this week, but he barely lasted half the game. He came off and Recchia was forced back to the defensive post he held last week. He's doing a good job - it's amazing what decent pre-season can do for a player.

But as the game wore on, we kept losing our shape. The main culprit was Ljubo Milicevic, who whether under the coach's instructions or his own decision to hark back to the days of Total Football, decided his role was to roam across the field, in every position it seemed except for the one he was supposed to be in: centre back. It caused all sorts of chaos on the field, and raised the ire of several of his teammates. And all of a sudden the ghosts of Ljubo's past are coming out again, to the point where maybe a Captain Obvious/Dr Philism comes into play - hey, maybe it's not always everyone else, maybe sometimes it's you.

Where was Simon Colosimo today? Photo: Gains

Anyway, Carl Recchia managed to score the winning goal, from a corner where allegedly the keeper was obstructed. I couldn't see if that was the case from the distance and angle I was at, suffice to say I was pretty confident when I saw the ball dip quickly at the near post with the keeper somewhat stranded. All in all not pretty stuff again for the most part, but good enough. Next week away to Hume for an earlier version of the Anzac Day Cup, one of the so-called 'Great Cups of Cuppage'.

Now for some of the other crap that happened today.

• Discussing the current status of Greek provincial team Kalamata, it came to my attention that they had been relegated to the fourth division there due to either financial irregularities or mismanagement. Hell, let's just call it shenanigans. Somehow I managed to quip that there's probably a rumour starting over there that the fans are asking whether George Vasilopoulos or his Kalamata equivalent has a mansion in Dromana. 
• Remember when Tony Free was captain of the Richmond aussie rules club? Hilarious stuff.
• Dean Uthoff or Shawn Bradley?
• Now this one's from Steve from Broady, so I can't really ascertain the truth of the matter. All I can say is that it sounds good. Anyway the story goes that former South Melbourne players and current Melbourne Victory employees Mehmet Durakovic and Kevin Muscat were at the game. At half time as Clarendon Corner went past as they were switching ends, Muscat for some reason apparently called us a club run by fish and chip shop owners. I haven't had this story verified by anyone else yet.
• The "Keeping It Real" fad is getting out of control. I think I'm going to start the Hyperreal faction.

Highlights from match against St Albans

George likes his chicken spicy - St Albans 0 South Melbourne 2

So the Public Transport Faction elected to alter its usual habit of watching the reserves (who won 2-1 by the way) and headed instead to 'pre-drinks' at the St Albans Hotel, a venue I've walked past a number of times on my way to uni without ever stepping inside its doors. We went out the back to the sports bar area which all in all is actually not too bad a place. And it had a pinball machine! OK, so it was only Pirates of the Caribbean, a terrible table, but pinball is still alive! The last time I played pinball in St Albans was at uni when they still had that soccer one with the moving goalie. That was some years ago. Man, that was a good table.

First ever visit to Churchill Reserve, which is something like a cross between Sunshine George Cross' Chaplin Reserve (the stepped terraces) and Western Suburbs' Ralph Reserve (the compact field), but about ten times better than either of them, thanks in no small part to the very nice social club. Unfortunately the line for food and drink was too long for my tastes, and I can't write anything good or bad about the local fare.

Anyway, amongst all these things, a VPL match did break out at about just after 3pm, and despite St Albans being in an absolute mess at the moment - no coach, ow wins, no morale - our task was made harder by the absence of Jesse Krncevic, doing some kind of law exam, and Steven O'Dor and Steven Topalovic carrying injuries. In addition, Marinos Gasparis started on the bench. What all this meant was Kyle Joryeff up front, Bobby Russell getting a start, and Carl Recchia playing in defense in what looked like a sweeper's role. Recchia's absence from the middle saw Seb Petrovich get another chance in central midfield.

We started off well enough, and a save from a Joryeff shot lead to an early corner. Taseski whipped the ball in, the St Albans defence failed to clear it, and Fernando latched onto the loose ball for the opening goal, his 50th league goal for South. We seemed to be, if not in control of the match at that point, then at least doing more than enough to keep out of trouble and create the occasional forward thrust. But the big tackles on the small ground started coming in, and all of a sudden Russell was off with Gasparis replacing him. St Albans created perhaps the only other good chance of the half, with a goal mouth scramble from what appeared to be a clear offside - the linesman did put his flag up - all of which lead to Carl Recchia saving the ball with his face. When the linesman made his next offside call - this time acknowledged by the referee - he got a big cheer from the visiting fans, and he flashed a little smile.

The second half wasn't so flash from us. We were pinned into our half for long stretches, and we struggled to get and maintain possession. But it wasn't all bad, as we defended well for the most part, blocking the long range shots and intercepting the loose balls in the box. It helped that St Albans moved the ball slowly and predictably, but it was nice for once to go to a small ground and actually put out an appropriate response to the conditions. About fifteen minutes from time, Ljubo Milicevic sidled past three opponents, slipped a through ball to Joryeff who made it 2-0, and more or less iced the game.

Seb Petrovich became another victim of the home side's physical approach, and he came off with the assistance of the medicos with ice on his ankle. Nicky Jacobs got a late run replacing Kamal Ibrahim, and eventually time ran out for Dinamo, who remain winless. South jump to the top of the table for the first time in about four years. Apart from Recchia, who played an excellent game outside his usual position, no one stood out for us. But a cleansheet and a backs to the wall performance was more than enough for me. Next week back at Northcote, at 3pm, against an improving Richmond who have won a couple of games on the trot and have momentarily at least picked themselves up off the canvas.

Gains was celebrating his 27th birthday today, keeping it very quiet until we got to dinner at the Hot Space Sichuan Bar on Russell Street, where he decided it was his treat. The Kung Pao chicken was excellent, though one suspects the mirrored wall they have there is for gweilo like me and Steve from Broady to see for ourselves how red we became. In fact this was he first time I'd even seen Steve struggle to finish a meal, not because it wasn't good, but because the heat of Sichuan cuisine got through to him. All in all, a good day out. Tomorrow, international ice hockey action.

Highlights from Ljubo's first match

Two things. One, as with the 2011 Hellenic Cup Final, I was first up to celebrate what would be the winning goal. On that occasion I realised it even at the time; this time Gains had to tell me after watching the video. Two, what's the go with Joe Montemurro wearing sunnies on his head? That's hardly the right place for them; and it wasn't even sunny out. People .

A Glorious Night of TELLING IT LIKE IT IS! (or maybe just how some people see it but with the use of an authoratative voice so people are more likely to think you're being a realist and more knowledgable)

Or,


Reading Slaughterhouse 5 before rocking up to events celebrating the past and the future can alter perceptions in ways probably entirely intended by the author.


This entry has the usual wearying digressions.

I missed the 2010 jersey presentation with the least troublesome of my many medical emergencies of last year. I was in recovery mode after having my wisdom teeth taken out. Insert corny joke about that being less painful then such events; it'd have been true anyway, as unlike many dental themed horror stories, I was under general anesthetic for the entire procedure.

Anyway, the 2011 version was back at Kinisi for the first time since 2008. Almost the entire crew I would have normally attended and fraternised with in the past was absent. The reasons were many and varied - illness, hatred of Kinisi, disillusionment and being halfway through a nervous breakdown, the last of which I learned this week is not an actual medical term. Even I probably qualify for several of those categories, but I'd already committed! Blast!

I was with Gains and Hellas Johnny though, which made the evening more than tolerable. I'll say this about the seating arrangements. Not that I wish any sort of harm to those in the bliss of romantic entrapment, but being on a table filled with single people and one obviously very much in love couple makes one feel like a recalcitrant of some sort.

The player auction didn't seem to really take off. Indeed, the majority of the evening seemed muted, as if, after the recent celebrations of the past and the apparent end to life on the slow train to financial oblivion, there was no more need or energy to be fired up about the club anymore. That perhaps we'd found a niche we could survive in and that perhaps everyone was emotionally spent. Or maybe it's just a transition year. No home ground yet, the major battles won but the war not quite over. A 50 year old suddenly feeling the full force realisation of its best years behind it?

There was also the panel discussion. There was no Q&A segment, which was just as well I suppose, as I had been shunted into the back corner of the room facing away from the stage. They perhaps should have put me behind a curtain just to make sure I didn't do anything stupid - in the past I had an awful habit of rolling my eyes at almost anything, such was my teenage cynicism. I'm better at that these days, I have a little more self-control.

Too much talk about the EPL and pandering to the imagined loyalties of overseas allegiances forged in the heat of a suburban loungeroom. Koutoufides and Christou had some interesting anecdotes - did you know they were both Collingwood fans growing up? - but for the most part their presence on the panel was more of a fifth wheel. For all Ljubo's theatricality, there is an eventual one dimensional aspect which comes into his rhetoric. Still, it was interesting to hear about how while he was in Switzerland, he was getting half the wage of his time at the Glory.

Unlike Les Murray in the past, Mark Bosnich at least had the courtesy not to humour our delusions of grandeur by being unapologetic about his and/or the FoxSports team's stance that change was necessary in the game and that we should be relegated to the toxic waste dump of Australian football. Nor was he sorry that the players reaped the benefits more than anyone of the television money revolution, even while the fans were frozen ever more out of accessing the teams they love. His point had some merit - players, like other workers, had been exploited for generations by their employers. But has the ledger in some cases swung too far the other way? There wasn't any chance to ask that question, or any other.

After all the formalities were done, we stuck around for a bit catching up with people I see on a weekly basis anyway. Hellas Johnny, being a starfucker, got a few photos taken with some of the luminaries. Then we left. East Richmond station is one of my personal favourites. In the heart of the inner city and yet skipped over so often. So it goes.

In all seriousness, I probably should be banned from attending such functions, since I seem to always miss the point. It's about the hobnobbing and fundraising, not about quarter-literate cultural critiques and the fact that the chicken was dry again.

Ljubo! Classy Drinking! Crunchalor! Oakleigh 1 South Melbourne 2

What an eventful evening that was. You know it's going to be one of those nights when you're walking down a city laneway and some drunk with a drink in each hand stumbles out of some hole in the walling singing Billy Joel's Piano Man - for some reason Steve from Broady looked quite confused by the spectacle. Probably too young to be a connoisseur of drunken classics of yore.

After killing an hour or so at the Charles Dickens Tavern, the Public Transport Faction was joined by some interlopers for the trip out to Huntingdale. Except we never got that far, because we got off at Oakleigh instead so the interlopers could buy some more booze to drink by the railway tracks. And isn't it always great to see some runt with a rat tail try to heap abuse at you from 50 metres away? Stay classy Oakleigh.

Getting into the ground, it was obvious there was a bit of a buzz about the game. Later we find out that Ljubo Milicevic's papers have come through after the FFV was allegedly bombarded with media inquiries about why he hadn't been allowed to register. Add to that a near brawl when he tried to get into the ground, and a top three clash which has a bit of added spite to it, got even more an edge.

And three minutes in, we scored, a wonderful volley by Marinos Gasparis who is having a pretty good season so far. But not too long after we're penalised with the first of several mystifying free kicks around the area - Ricky Diaco putting away a low drive which got through or around the defensive wall far too easily.

The game then settled down into the following pattern - South would try attack with quick short passing, both through the middle and out wide with overlapping players, while Oakleigh mostly went wide, trying in particular to exploit Steven Topalovic on their left hand side. Milicevic's inclusion was pivotal - while not completely negating the defensive frailties of this season, at least Oakleigh were unable to win a ball in the air, nor were they able to get behind the defence.

Some may have been disappointed with the spectacle, but I felt that the first hour or so was excellent to watch. Oakleigh almost took the lead towards the end of the first half with a deflected shot which hit the post. 1-1 at half time was a fair outcome. The second half started off much the same way, but once we got ahead, with a Steven O'Dor header from the six yard box, the game deteriorated, as both teams resorted to long balls along the wings.

Peter Zois apparently lost his cool at being called a traitor by fans behind the goals, and was probably at fault when they conceded their second. If there's one area of the game where Zois struggles, it's in commanding his six yard box on high crosses, and much like the equaliser we conceded against Bentleigh early last season, he let rip into the defense rather than take responsibility. Perhaps the video footage will vindicate him though.

Gasparis should have wrapped the game up after he faced an empty net, but succumbing to a rush of blood to the head, he blasted it over. The ceaseless free kicks around the box, often for reasons I couldn't fathom, had us all on edge, but for the most they were harmless. Zaim Zeneli had an adequate game in goals, but wasn't tested too often. Jesse Krncevic came through the middle late, but delayed taking a shot, with Zois smothering the ball, but we still got the win, and after several years of struggling to win at Oakleigh, that's now two in a row.

Still no cleansheet, and one wonders what might happen once Ljubo goes. But going forward we look good. Sebastian Petrovic has started passing the ball sideways and backwards too often, and just doesn't have the pace need to win balls even in his preferred middle of the park position. Rama had a quiet game, rarely noticed him out there.

There was one bitter individual standing to the side of Clarendon Corner (who had an excellent game by the way), heaping abuse on Ljubo - it was all sour grapes though, as Oakleigh had tried desperately to sign him before he'd put pen to paper with us. And during the second half I somehow ended up in a conversation which involved comparing NBA and NBL players of bygone eras. Mark Price or Sam McKinnon? Michael Jordan or Andrew Gaze? Clyde Drexler or Shane Heal?

Anyway, that difficult two week stretch is over, and we're back at our home away from next round against the Melbourne Knights. Could we possibly get a clean sheet? Will we be as switched on as we were last night? What random conversation will sprout up this time? And what's going to be for dinner? So many questions and too much time to think about them.

No Ljubo, but a win anyway - South 2 Greens 1

Lots of things to talk about today. Let's start with the simple stuff.

Late in the day, I was told by a mutual friend that some twit from Glenroy said that he didn't understand why I take public transport around the grounds, despite my ownership of a car. Well, Mr. Twit, as I have explained on this blog, I have poor eyesight, which while more than adequate to get me around my main destinations in the western suburbs, is not good enough to give me the confidence to drive around unfamiliar roads, especially at night.

I also like public transport for its positive environmental qualities, the light hit on the hip pocket, and the lack of a struggle to find a parking spot. I also find it a more sociable experience. Sure, journeying in a car is fine with all its creature comforts, but a half hour trip from the city with ample opportunity to talk about such weighty subjects such as: the origins, purposes and use of deities; the quest for immortality, including the technological problems associated with it, especially the preservation of the mind; and even the risk society. Steve from Broady may be a deadset plodder when it comes to traditional forms of learning, but he does have an inquisitive mind, which is good, as I like to bounce around ideas like this.

The polo tops aren't ready yet, but they should be ready by our next home game. I bought a scarf, because for years I'd criticised the designs as being too busy. This year's is a simple, classy, royal blue and white striped or barred number, and my old one, the wrong shade of blue and looking the worse for wear has now been relegated to the day to day scarf. Now for the game.

First of all, it was a shock to see active Bentleigh fans behind one of the goals. I don't know where they came from, what they're calling themselves, whether they'll stay the distance, but even though there weren't that many of them they had a couple of flags and they had a go. Should be more of it. Somehow we managed to score a goal from a corner - Seb Petrovic back in his usual central midfield spot with that goal.

While we still don't look that good defensively, it's a damn sight easier to defend against an opponent who is content to sit back very deep, with lots of numbers in defence, and ping plenty of long balls forward. That kind of method generally suggests you're going to be doing most of your better work from set pieces, and that's where the Greens got their equaliser from. An extraordinarily poor decision from the referee - I thought Rhodri Payne was well within the legal limit of how he used this body to win the ball - saw Bentleigh get a free kick wide on the right, and a glancing header into the back corner just made me angrier.

Still, their tactics didn't change, and we were for the first time this season up against a team which with an overdone defence and our side seemingly a little flummoxed as to how to go about breaking that down. We kept possession, trying to find the openings and little runs, but it was a moment of swift wing movement which got what turned out to be the winning goal. The ball was moved quickly out to the vacant right hand side, Jesse Krncevic - who otherwise had a disappointing game I feel - crossed behind Kyle Joryeff who, take your pick of either a poor first touch or a good one, managed to control the ball enough to then hit a shot which went in off the post.

We rode our luck a bit more for the first half, but deserved our lead. The halftime break was the chance to get an orange slushy. Quite refreshing, but I wish people wouldn't be so finicky about picking a flavour - it's sugary coloured gloopThe second half was different story, as Bentleigh pushed numbers forward and played further up the field. Kliment Taseski was sent off with a straight red card for a challenge I felt warranted a yellow (which would have seen him sent off anyway I believe), and thus we were down to ten men for the last half hour or so.

Both teams had plenty of chances to score in the second half - South in particular butchering several counter attacking chances. Bentleigh upped the physical intimidation factor, which for the most part went unpunished, with the worst of the offences being Fernando being taken out behind play and receiving what looked like a serious arm injury. But despite the numerical disadvantage and extended playing time, we held on, and got a much needed three points heading into difficult away games against Heidelberg and Oakleigh. Ljubo was in the stands today, but it has been reported he'll be right to go next week. We'll see I guess.

Bed goes up, bed goes down

Has Ljubo signed? Will he be allowed to play? Why has the article on Ljubo's arrival on the official site gone up, then down? Will it go up again?

Ljubo Milicevic to join South - your correspondent left almost speechless

FourFourTwo is reporting that the one and only Ljubo Milicevic - at least I hope there's only one of them - is joining South Melbourne. Yes, our South Melbourne. The club has not officially confirmed it as I go to print, but certain peoples with more authority have indicated that he has signed and will be start on Sunday against Bentleigh.

It won't be for an entire season, but he should add value to our defence if he doesn't break down with injury, as he is somewhat prone to doing. And while I'm normally not for these short term arrangements - especially leaving before the end of the season - the Ljubo Experience is so ripe for gimmick value that I'm sure whatever way it falls, there'll be laughs for everyone.

And he did say he wanted to go to a real club after all.