Horror start to the season continues - South Melbourne 2 Bentleigh Greens 1

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, we won again.

Eternal optimists, merchants of doom, Johnny A: everyone came out of this match with something to hold on to, which when you think about it, is just good business by South Melbourne - I mean, why limit yourself to pleasing just one demographic? It's all about metrics and leverage these days, and leaving out people just won't do. Best of all, we left everyone wanting more - repeat customers!

But Johnny A though. Devastated by the loss, and claiming in his post-match interview that 'we are so far ahead of South Melbourne as a football team, it's not funny' - this from the coach of a team that spent most of the game just bombing it long. Where was the patented Bentleigh Greens sexy-time football? Man, if I want to get played off the park by the best in the business I don't want it to be by a team passing the ball around the back, then hoofing it long to the forwards.

Still, one had to admit that we didn't always handle the aforementioned long bombs with, er, aplomb. The goal we conceded in particular, I mean, come on! Loose men everywhere in front of goal in that most dangerous of situations? That's state league one reserves stuff. And the lack of pressure on those defenders hoofing it long, we clearly gave them too much respect and time on the ball. Nikola Roganovic certainly thought so in his post-match interview, making the case that after we went ahead, we again fell back to the habit of falling back as it were.

And it was then, and really only then, that Bentleigh started actually playing the way they purportedly play every week. And while, yes, we had the man advantage for the second week running, and often looked like we were the man down for the second week running, it is also important to remember that we also had the lead going into the final twenty minutes for the second week running. Maybe it's a fitness thing? Maybe we're behind the eight ball on that front, still, two months into the season proper? If so, that's a big concern, but we were somehow good enough to get into the right position to win the game.

And as important as it is to focus on the negatives and what needs to be improved - and there is so much that needs to be improved, but remember the majority of these players are  at this level for good reasons - how about enjoying the win? Yes, we shouldn't have been in a position where we had to rely on Roganovic making two penalty saves, but what about those saves! Huge! So we only got one shot on target in the first half? So did Bentleigh, with their other attempt hitting the post. Was our first goal offside? I thought so at the time, but the video footage is less clear on the matter, and none of the Bentleigh players called for it. Was our second goal lucky to be bundled in? Sure, you can see it that way - but what about Bentleigh's failure to clear the ball from their own area?

But back to the concerns for just a moment. The wing backs are out of form, and out of touch. Crappy crosses aside, calling for the offside and letting opposition players glide by? Criminal. Being nowhere near being in the game for the first 25 minutes? Awful. Bombing it long to Milos Lujic while he was being marked by three players, without anyone being at the fall of the ball? Really? The fact that we managed to get into the game despite our deficiencies, the usual appalling refereeing performance by Bruno, and get on top even before the dismissal of Dion Kirk? Encouraging.

And aside from his clumsy effort with regards to the second penalty, Kristian Konstantinidis has been huge in his two appearances this season, and he's making it very hard for Michael Eagar to get back in the squad. Of course there'll be a door opening with a busier schedule coming up and Luke Adams going off on national duty, but how great is it that we can bring in someone like Konstantinidis for the struggling Eagar and have him be near man of the match across two games? Pretty good. OK, I suppose.

Even the People's Champ put in a killer slide tackle near the end of the game. Somewhere out there, there's a scientist working furiously on solving the riddle of how we can both suck so hard, and be top of the table. The secret of cold fusion will probably be in there somewhere, too, like Homer Simpson accidentally proving that there is no God while working on his flat tax proposal.

Next week
At home against Oakleigh Cannons. The return of Gus Tsolakis. Going to be batter flying all over the place.

Over and over, we flatten the clover (with apologies to XTC)
One thing that Johnny A decided was worth complaining about was the state of the Lakeside pitch. His complaint? That it had too much grass. That the grass was too long. Now, to be fair - and when have I ever not been fair? Don't answer that question - he did also say that it was a pity for Chris Taylor and his team that they also had to play on that surface, but one can still damn well appreciate the irony of the coach of Bentleigh Greens complaining about a field that was too lush - after all, this was the team that actually painted the dirt on its field to make it look as if it was grass! Still. there is a part of me that actually hopes that it was a deliberate ploy on our behalf to get the State Sports Centres Trust to leave the grass a bit longer, in homage to that episode of King of the Hill where Hank cuts the turf on the high school football field to combat the opposition's strengths, i,e, longer grass on the edges for teams with good wide receivers. Please don't interpret this quasi-random pop-culture recollection as an endorsement of King of the Hill, it really was a very dull show.

Not quite the fourth official
Let's be honest - the implementation of a fourth official at NPL matches in 2016 is like being eight years old and getting a pair of grown up slacks with a 'smart' woollen pullover, after you specifically asked Father Christmas for an XBox. But just as everyone was somewhat getting used to the fourth officials being there, we had the bloke yesterday who almost flat out refused to turn his electronic board around so the paying public could see who was being subbed and how much added time was going to be played. The most horrific outcome of his failure to point the board towards anyone but the one person sitting in the opposite grandstand, was an attempt by some in Clarendon Corner to chant 'turn the board around' to the tune of this disco classic.

Lists for the sake of lists
Since Bentleigh have returned to the VPL/NPL, the following players have been sent off in games hosted by South Melbourne against Bentleigh Greens:

• George Goutzioulis (2010)
• Kliment Taseski (2011, at John Cain Memorial Park)
• Dimi Tsiaras (2012)
• Peter Gavalas and Iqi Jawadi (2013)
• Iqi Jawadi (2015, grand final)
• Dion Kirk (2016)

Probably just a coincidence that the two Bentleigh players listed above - Goutzioulis and Kirk - were also former South players, and that Gavalas was a former Bentleigh player.

Apologies for the lack of a video montage. 
It's now six years since we left the old Lakeside, and for all intents and purposes left the social club behind. Anyone else notice the clock on this blog going wayward by a few hours? I think it might be due to the cumulative effects of daylight savings over the years. That, or they're not linked to the atomic clocks like they should be.

Apparel sponsorship turning into a nightmare
So the deal with apparel supplier BLK, which was going to cost us a lot less money and cause us to have fewer problems than what we had with Adidas, has turned pear shaped. Problems with the online store, problems with the supply and quality of the merchandise, and problems with the women's team even getting a kit. It's not been a good start to this relationship, which is due to run for three years. I suppose that at least they have time to sort out the problems.

On the plus side
The hooped socks were back, baby! Did they help us win the match? Let's not get too excited, but they did look good out there.

Further FFA Cup news
Our next match in Shaun Mooney's patented crap-shoot tournament, against Altona Magic, has been scheduled for Wednesday April 20th, kickoff at 7:30, at Paisley Park Soccer Complex in Altona North.

Jersey presentation night 2016
A mostly dull and underwhelming night. One could handle the increased price ($50 to $70), but the $5 booking fee per ticket seems like someone's (at this point unidentified) just trying to gouge someone (me, and others as well I suppose). The food, which arrived very, very late - in fact the whole evening seemed to start about an hour late - was serviceable (Greek mezze and Italian antipasti combination), mediocre (steak so overcooked and dry that even I cringed), and OK I suppose (desserts fished out from the storeroom and cut into bite size pieces, though a better selection than last year, in that half the items weren't rock-hard and over-sweet cherry ripe slices).

At least this time, either due to more judicious use of space or due to a reduced number of attendees, we - that is the povo fans that weren't going to sponsor anyone, and therefore needed to be kept out of sight - managed to get seated indoors, and on the couches no less. That I was seated with Internet Celebrity SMFCMike is not as horrible as it sounds, because this seems to be the usual arrangement at South Melbourne jersey nights, and besides which, he and the others on the table were good company.

After last year having Tara Rushton perform the hosting duties, this year we had Stephanie Brantz, who really didn't do very much and wasn't very interesting when she was up there, though El Presidente did note that she was the first host in years to pronounce his name right, which I suppose is money well spent. More interesting was who was there and who wasn't. Yes, it's true. the People's Champ was actually there! Philzgerald Mbaka was not! Is Mbaka putting in his own bid to be the new People's Champ? He's got a long way to go to be honest. Mbaka, despite his non appearance, managed to rank up one of the highest auction bids, as Andrew Mesourouni ended up performing an elaborate gimmick with president Leo Athanasakis to raise the bidding. On the other hand, it was good to see that each player started off with a minimum guaranteed bid, avoiding the embarrassing moments of previous jersey nights where the auctioneer would have to beg the audience to bid for less popular players. This tactic also helped speed up the whole auction process somewhat.

Perhaps most tragicomic of all, standing in for Mbaka and consequently being more involved as part of the senior team than he has been on the field in recent times, was captain Michael Eagar. He also managed to pull in a good bid in his own right, as did everyone's new favourite 'need more Greeks' player, Kristian Konstantinidis. Mbaka, Eagar and Konstantinidis all hit the $5,000 mark. Unfortunately, the women's team were auctioned off as a collective, dashing my slim hopes of buying a woman. They were bought for about $10,000.

The highlight of the evening was on the tram on the way up to Beachcomber, overhearing a conversation between some kid and his dad about the classic arcade shooter Time Pilot. What a relief to know that there are kids out there who still search for, and appreciate, quality video games.

For the record, SMFCMike won the raffle's major prize, a thousand dollar voucher for tyres, which he passed on to his dad. People are harder to hate when they're not being dickheads.

International Year of the Fence
Owing to the segment going walkabout last week, here's something from the archives where you can sort of see a fence.

Theo Marmaras and I think Michael Weinstein, at Sunshine for a Channel 9 broadcast in 1975. pic.twitter.com/Z7qfNBsC4B

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 11, 2016

This is part of a collection belonging to Mrs Weinstein, lent to me by Ted Smith. More photos from this collection will be uploaded eventually, but the uni scanner hates black and white photos for some reason.

Final thought
On February 26th, 2006, as Gianni De Nittis celebrated scoring what would be winning the goal against Preston, I high fived some random kid sitting next to me in the grandstand. The kid belonged to one Ian Syson, and over the course of that season Ian and I became friends. Eventually he convinced me to go back to university, after eight months of persistent nagging and a comment on smfcboard (since long gone) taunting me with 'and you say you can't write' after I had posted something or other. I got a degree, I worked on books, he rescued my honours thesis, I've been published as a bona fide academic, I've presented at conferences, and I've taught and tried to pass on the lessons in self-belief that I've learned in my time as a student, to the next generation of a demographic that hasn't been taught that it belongs at a university. At the very least, without Ian, I likely never would have ever thought about starting a blog, which has now run for over eight years. Sure, my grammar is still stuffed, but nevertheless here's to the next ten years of a quality friendship.

Need more gas in the tank - Heidelberg United 1 South Melbourne 1

Took one of our reader's suggestions and used the route 250 to get to the ground, and though the walk to the ground was all downhill, it did take longer than I'd anticipated, and of course the ancient turnstiles at the front of the ground weren't working. At least the bus ride allowed me to meet Tim McGlone, one of the newer faces in the ever expanding South Melbourne media team. There was a minute''s silence for a Heidelberg member who had passed away, and then the Greek national anthem for Greek national day (NCIP!) and the Aussie one (crackling badly through the PA system), all combined with the smell of the rankest cigarettes I've smelled for some time, and then we were off. Also, 3XY and Michael Lynch were there.

We started off a bit slow, but eventually got on top and started bossing the game, pulling together some wonderful passing play. The lineup was the same as the one that started the second half against Bentleigh the week before, including no substitute keeper again. This arrangement didn't last very long, as Cody Martindale had to come off early with an injury, and on came Andy Kecojevic. Soon enough we took the lead, Milos Lujic hitting a wonderful shot after some excellent lead up work.

Later on in the half Brad Norton was viciously cut down, and soon after half time Tim Mala had to go off with injury as well. Unlike last year, where we managed to keep most of our starting eleven players on the field for the entire season, this season, while not being quite the disaster on that front that it could be, has been a challenge. Dan Heffernan didn't play for the Bergers which helped our cause, as his replacement Kenny Athiu kept finding himself offside. Still, our defensive stocks at the moment are thin, and it will be interesting to see how we cope once we hit the more crowded part of the schedule where we have to play three games in a week.

The second half saw the arrival of a persistent problem this season - not enough gas in the tank. Last season we were able to win games in part because we were better able to run out matches, including often making substitutions quite late in the piece. This season, even with early subs, we look unable to run out games convincingly. I hope this is all part of the plan to help us peak later in the year, and that once we hit our stretch of Friday night home matches, that our recovery and fitness plan kicks into action and gives us some kind of edge. Until that moment arrives however, we are looking particularly vulnerable.

While last season we started off well and became tired towards the end, it's still not a good look to be struggling the way we have been. Having said that, had we scored the goal that we should have in the second half to make it 2-0, this probably would have been game, set and match. As it was the Bergers took it up the other end and scored immediately, and then proceeded to dominate proceedings. Andreas Govas hit one of the hardest shots I've seen for some time from long range - thank goodness that we have Nikola Roganovic in goals this season - he's been doing an outstanding job, and looks safe as houses in the air as well.

Injuries and lack of fitness aside, what made matters worse is that we lost all composure on the ball. Nick Epifano got himself into good position on a couple of occasions, but failed to make the most of his opportunities. Several players were guilty of making horrible, rushed passes, as well as bombing the ball long to the increasingly isolated Lujic. Leigh Minopoulos came on and added a bit of spark and pace, as well as level headedness - the problem there is that we appear to be heading into a problem we had several seasons ago, that we have a lot of players that look good coming off the bench, but not as many who can start and finish a game off well.

Milos Lujic still looks ominous, but he needs a reliable friend up front. David Stirton didn't start this game, nor was he used off the bench. Andy Brennan, the player Ian Syson and I had come to see most of all, worked hard but was visibly tired even in the first half. He also learned that the space he was accustomed to in Tasmania, as well as the tricks he could use to beat an opponent one on one, are not as reliable in Victoria; still, I think there's huge upside, and that it's all part of the learning process for him. I also love Leigh Minopoulos, but I have my doubts about whether he could be as effective as a starting player. The midfield for the most part battles hard, but they're undersized, and where we should be using Michael Eagar or Dane Milovanovic in defensive midfield as an enforcer, defensive necessities and lack of fitness respectively are leaving us scrambling for makeshift options.

In the end, while the officiating didn't help us - and I say that as someone who usually enjoys Lucien's relative finickiness, as long as he's being even handed and accurate - we were a little lucky to get away with the point, Still, we also had our chances, and if we can get our fitness right, and figure out the exact starting eleven that we want to settle on (injuries notwithstanding), we have a lot of upside to come, which I'm not sure can be said for a lot of the other teams around us at this point in time. To only be playing 25-30 minutes of good football, against mostly the teams likely to be in the finals race, and still be picking up points - that's the positive that I'm going to take out of this opening part of the season.

This sucks

Players from both sides today had wallets and phones stolen from the rooms as they were playing in the derby #smfc #Hufc #PS4NPL #scum
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) March 29, 2015

This also happened to Preston late last season at Keilor Park. Someone on Twitter said that there are actually FFV rules that the change rooms must be locked, but even with that, surely it would be common sense to lock the rooms anyway? I don't know, this just seems like something that's so easily preventable.

No substitute goalkeeper again comedy commentary piece

Our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?

Next week
Of course our charmed run of results - if not quite personnel issues - could all come crashing down this week, when we play Green Gully away on Saturday afternoon. Another difficult game to be sure, but at least it's our last away game for this stretch before we get back home to Lakeside.

Jersey night
Having just missed the 96 tram to St Kilda, I waited patiently for the next one, only for the driver to let off passengers, pick up almost no one and then bolt off. At least I handled the situation slightly better than the bloke who swore out loud and thumped the side of the tram, scaring some children inside of it - his own admission, made somewhat shamefully. I eventually made it to the venue, where I tried to psych myself up for some classic cynicism.

Live from Beachcomber Cafe, it's the Krusty the Clown Show: Prison Special. #smfc #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

Seriously, how churlish can you get before the event even starts? Anyway, many famous people were there. Kimon Taliadoros, always on an insatiable quest for power; Mal Impiombato, the latest FFA bureaucratic heavy hitter we're desperately trying to woo; Tara Rushton, something, something, hot chick, something, something, where's Mel?; Martin Foley, the local member of parliament, who's stuck his neck out for a bunch of Greeks who mostly don't live in his electorate; and Santo Cilauro, of various projects including one where they let Sam Pang boast about the fact he knowns nothing about the game - mind you, that's someone else's interpretation, because I don't watch the relevant show.

There were also the usual sponsors, board members and sprinkling of ordinary fans, thrust into the back corner, and the firm establishment of an SMFC media team cartel, minus one very important member - and no, it wasn't me! Thus, mingling was made very difficult, and created a sort of sullen mood in certain areas of the venue. Nevertheless, it was nice of Chris Taylor to pop around, while the movers and shakers were busy trying to schmooze people with money and influence.

Had a delightful chat with Chris Taylor about longevity, networks and haircuts. #SMFC #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

If this was a Greek wedding though - and I use Greek weddings as the example only because they're the only ones I've ever been to - there'd be much complaining that no member of the committee came around to thank us for attending and ask us how we were faring, apart from collecting our money. Speaking of money, the player auction was of course a central feature of the night's proceedings. It was a more muted, but evenly spread affair this season, no ridiculous over the top amounts, but none of the lesser players went for the measly sum of $500. Kosta from Blue Thunder Security of course bought Matthew Theodore, while Nick Epifano - despite his absence on the night - managed to get the equal top amount alongside Michael Eagar. A pity that us ordinary fans were too disorganised and/or poor to be able to buy someone. Maybe next year.

Anyway, as was the case last year, local MP Martin Foley got a chance to have his say, opining on the frustrations that the Lakeside lease still hasn't been sorted out yet - especially given that he had promised March 15th of this year as a deadline.

Martin Foley says directive has been issued to relevant departments to sort #smfc lease issue by end of April. Better be true. #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

One of the people inside the tent had a more detailed version of Foley's commentary, as posted on smfcboard.

Foley essentially said that it will all be done and dusted in the next few weeks by the latest with the deadline set by government April 29th. George Lekakis (Multicultural commission) has been appointed to oversee the process to ensure we get what we have been promised, while the senior ALP members have sent a formal directive to the department to also ensure the above happens. 

He also went on about how South has acted in good faith in the past 5 years and how badly they have been let down by government. While he couldn't control what Liberal did, he did apologise on behalf of the ALP.

But what's another arbitrary deadline between friends? Then it was time for the football panel discussion chaired by Tom Kalas, which touched on prospective FFV president Kimon Talidoros' desire to align the states with what FFA was doing, something to do with promotion/relegation, and pointing out how awesome South was or is. I think SMFCMike enjoyed this segment a lot more than I did.

Tom Kalas introduces a powerpoint presentation. My night is complete. #smfc #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

The meals were a step down from last year's efforts.

Fucken hell, φακή for the entree. This atheist doesn't do nistia. #smfc #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

This sparked some Twitter discussion at least about the merits or otherwise, of Greek lentil soup, The chicken for the main was quite good, even with the creamy pasta side dish shenanigans. On the other hand, dessert was a disaster.

Already disappointed by no dessert course, only to be offered most half-arsed fruit platter this side of a mid 1990s Olympic Airways flight.
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

And that's even leaving out the pathetically small pieces of cut up cherry ripe slice and lemon slice. What happened to the pannacotta from last year? It was good to meet FFV media dude Alan Delic at the end of the night, where I commended the recent work FFV has been doing in the media area. I also mentioned how I'm a big fan of FFV giving the NPL clubs cameras to film their own games, which I know is not necessarily popular with some people because of the low quality of some of the filming, and 'more urgent priorities'. Overall, it wasn't the most enjoyable night, and I'd had more fun in other years at this event. Swings and roundabouts and all that.

Πολύ γκρινιάρης δεν είσαι?

It's 'speak Greek in March month', but @NeosKosmos still going with Σάουθ Μέλμπουρν instead of Ελλάς Μελβούρνης. Ντροπή σας. #smfc #PS4NPL
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

Nick Epifano fan abuse issue borrowed comedy commentary piece

I am very interested in seeing how this will be dealt with - on a purely intellectual level of course.

80' Play is delayed as some @gomvfc fans light 6 flares, and steal the corner flag before leaving the ground #BRDvMVC pic.twitter.com/Kn7RwYOzuu
— PS4 NPL Victoria (@nplvictoria) March 28, 2015

Final thought
I might be a cunt, but...

Perfect start to 2014 maintained - Hume City 0 South Melbourne 3

Was there a player in the under 20s match who was wearing a headband? Iqi Jawadi, sitting behind me in the stand during that game, seemed to think so, and what's more he was jealous of that player being allowed to do it when he himself wasn't allowed for reasons unknown to me.

As for the seniors, that first half from us wasn't crash hot. Going forward we were disorganised and slightly careless, sending through balls forward that were almost always over hit. We also resorted to too many long balls, which were easily dealt with by the Hume defence for the most part. Even though I guess we were going to the end favoured by the breeze, it's not like it was last week's four goal wind. Besides, it was as much as a crosswind as anything. Jamie Reed got angry at Milos Lujic, Milos Lujic got angry at the linesman with the oil slick hairdo, and I was wondering how the hell we were going to score aside from the possibility of a Hume defensive clusterfuck, which almost happened anyway.

Defensively, things weren't looking much brighter. Hume hit the post with a well taken free kick which went out of Jason Saldaris' reach, and were particularly penetrating on our right hand side. It's a wonder we managed to limit them to probably just one real clear cut chance, which ended up being fluffed with a weak attempt on goal. So, 0-0 at halftime, and I was wondering what we were going to do to turn the game in our favour.

The second half was altogether a very different story. Ladies and gentlemen, we dominated. We controlled the midfield, played well out of the back, and were starting to get forward in a much more organised manner. Still, you gotta get the goal to make it all count, and my was it worth wait for when the deadlock was broken.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Either way, Referee Perry Mur
 doesn't seem to give a toss. Photo: Cindy Nitsos

A lovely bit of work from several players on the left saw centreback James Musa make a run forward, cutting the ball to the top of the 18 yard box from where Nick Epifano - who ran himself into the ground today - put the ball out of the reach of Chris Oldfield in the Hume goal for 1-0. It was the best bit of play we've put together all season. Hume finally managed to get it up to their end in a meaningful manner, but couldn't make their big opportunity of the second half count. Who knows what would have happened if the game had gone level?

Instead a few minutes later, Epifano was the beneficiary of more good work up the field, this time by Jamie Reed I think, making it 2-0. The most pleasing thing about these first two goals, is that they weren't dependent on opposition mistakes, the kinds of goals of we've had the fortune of scoring from a few times this season. Of course they all count the same, but it shows that it's not just our pressure and the frailties of the opposition that can get us goals - we can create them from scratch, too.

We got one of those fortuitous ones in the end, as Milos Lujic made the most of Hume's poor and confused attempt at clearing a cross. At 3-0, this game was done, and the important thing was to not get some yellow cards or injuries. Both seemed under threat when on the grandstand side, a tangle of players decided to try their at some wrestling maneuvers. I think we managed somehow to get away with both from that incident, though I'm not quite sure how. The second half was the best football we've played this season. It may not have been as exhilarating as some of the other games this season, but for effectiveness, it was very good.

Getting home was a bit of a slog, as it usually is from there if you're doing the public transport thing. Didn't hang around to clap the players off this time, instead trying to get out as quickly as possible to cross the no good option Barry Road. Then power walking (by my standard) up the hill, then down the road to the station, where at least this time the lift was working. Made it in time, but boy the legs were sore after it. Had some random on the Werribee train claim to remember me, even though I was in year 10 at the time and she was in year 7. 15 years on and she still remembers my face. I had no idea who she was though.

Anyway, four from four and top of the table. Things could be worse.

Can someone tell me where the line for too ethnic is exactly?
We've spoken about Hume's new grandstand and facilities before, and they were augmented today by a nice, sunny day, a surface in excellent condition, and a decent PA system, even though I'm not sure how they get away with their theme song with its prominent chorus of 'Anadolu'. I'm kinda disappointed that they use the slick version of the song, when they could be using this version instead.



Also, what's the deal with getting the red and white seats when you've changed the strip to a black and white deal?

Next game
The undefeated (only played two matches) Ballarat Red Devils at home on Thursday night. Why this got moved to Thursday from Wednesday, I'm not sure. I suppose it's a good thing that we're not a religious club, what with it being Μεγάλη Εβδομάδα and all that, when 98% of Melbourne's Greek community remembers that they're Orthodox.

Oh yeah, get there early to pick up and/or buy your memberships.

Jersey night rundown
Would the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands. And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry. - John Lennon
Some interesting things happened in between the times I was checking Twitter etc for footy and NPL scores. Interesting lay out for starters. This year both the 'indoor' and 'slightly less indoor' areas were used. The latter was used as a sort of poor person's purgatory, which doesn't bother anti-social me, but might have made it harder for people to socialise if that's what they wanted to do.

It actually reminded me a bit of the way the tutorial I was in for 'Freedom and Constraint' at Melbourne University was set up back in 2002 (taught by this bloke), with the good looking and popular students on the main table getting all the attention, with whoever was left over ending up on the other table in the back corner of some really poorly designed and selected room. Now I'm not putting all the blame in my failing that subject on that arrangement - after all, I did fail eight subjects during my year and a half stint there - but it didn't help.

Look, women! Here come some now!
As mentioned last week, South Melbourne Women's FC have a new president, albeit with much of the same people still on their committee. Last night some of these people were at the jersey night, and the implication seemed to be from the presentation that we were - at the very least - on the way to reconciling the two factions. Unfortunately, not very much detail was provided on that front, so it's hard to know exactly what's going on. Cause for optimism?

Tweets will set you free, check the tweets
While I hope my cynicism is misplaced, I'm less optimistic about the social club situation being resolved in our favour. Local member of parliament Martin Foley was there, and he gave a little bit of a speech after being made no. 1 ticket holder for 2014. As part of that speech he asked for the current state government to honour the deal made by the previous state government with South to give us our 40 years and let us complete the Lakeside facility.

A commendable sentiment, which was taken up quite quickly by a couple of serving committee members on Twitter. For example:

Martin Foley the Labor minister for Albert Park, pledges to honour the 40 year lease as per the MOU if they come into government.
— Tony Margaritis (@sthmel) April 11, 2014 

which is a little different from this one:

Martin Foley Labour Member for Albert Park has just said at Jersey Night, that the current government must honour the 40 yr deal.
— Tom (@tom_kalas) April 11, 2014

comments which were followed by a tweet from Foley himself:

At the @SMFC season launch and community wants to know why #Springst won't deliver overdue social rooms promised pic.twitter.com/XPIL0FIrpe
— Martin Foley (@MartinFoleyMP) April 11, 2014

Which seemed an unusual comment to make, since the current state government has actually come out with some detail about what the issue is, as they see it. The question I wanted to (and then did) ask Foley was:

So, @MartinFoleyMP, are you saying that if Labor wins 2014 election, that @smfc/Lakeside deal will be sorted out as matter of urgency?
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 11, 2014

The answer to that is not yet known definitively. Short of hoping that Labor win the upcoming election - and as yet I've seen no ironclad guarantee yet that they will deviate from the Liberals' policy position - what is the plan for resolving the situation, either by taking the government on or acquiescing to their preferred 21 year model? Maybe time to crank out another letter to John Eren or something, and maybe this time I'll get a response.

Overall, it was an enjoyable evening. The food was a step up from the previous year's offerings at this venue. Soup as a starter(!) instead of the usual antipasto and dips, garlic bread, good mains, and dessert that wasn't fruit or a cheese platter. Stay tuned to SMFC TV and South Radio for related things that happened. How the hell did I live my life before Twitter and before having a phone that could easily and cheaply access Twitter? Sometimes it feels good to be part of the present instead of my usual existence in the past.

Around the grounds
Part 1 - Golden rays of sunshine light a Coburg afternoon
Moreland City were at home to Sydenham Park, on a field that was surprisingly not bogged down after recent rain, but rather had. After an even start, Sydenham took control of this match and eventually ran out deserved 3-0 winners. The first goal was quite nice, as it involved a nutmeg on the byline. Tommi 'Gomer Pyle' Tommich in the Sydenham goal had very little to do until the last 15 minutes, when the visitors went down to 10 men but were already 3-0 up. The inevitability of the result seemed to calm down the Sydenham coach, with his massive chin and fan-like yelling of instructions every two seconds.

The downside? There was no HP sauce this year. Even worse, I didn't win the raffle. Massive props though to the Sydenham player who copped a yellow card for letting loose at the ref with a 'пичка ти матер', after an admittedly pretty crappy no advantage call.

Part 2 - Ξεκάρφωτες μαλακίες 
For the first time in many years - probably since 2003 - the Paisley Park derby between Altona Magic and Altona East was on. The NPL shuffling of the decks  has seen the Magic demoted to East's division, and the home side marginally had the better of it in the first half, though East had the half's best opportunity - any shot on target would have done the trick, but it went over the bar instead. The second saw Magic step up their game and begin to take more control. They opened the scoring with some neat play around the box, a pass inside to an unmarked striker, who popped it into the back of the net while East were waiting for an offside to be called, which is pretty stupid, because it wasn't offside.

East were never out of the game though, and eventually snared a late equaliser from a goalmouth scramble, and were able to avoid defeat with the last play of the game, when some Magic player headed his effort from the six yard box wide when it seemed harder to miss than score. I think 1-1 was one of the two fair outcomes for this game. There was also a bit of ETHNIC VIOLENCE when one old man slapped another old man, after the latter dared him to do it during what initially appeared to be a half joking conversation.

Magic's raffle prices are a bit of joke by the way. $2 for one ticket? Moreland was selling them for $1 each or three for $2.

Frenemies department
Listening to 3XY Radio Hellas the other week, I was surprised to hear one George Triantos being interviewed on the phone about the South game against Gully. What happened to our being blacklisted? When did we drop the mutual animosity? Why didn't I get a memo about this? I'm feeling all disoriented.

Speaking of which, when I went to listen to the show today, all I got instead was the Oakleigh Cannons show, by which I mean some Orthodox Palm Sunday church service.

At least we still have Elias Donoudis to hate without fear or favour.

@smfc see how I look after you guys, and not one thank you. You're at home this week right ? pic.twitter.com/yt2S22DXjJ
— Elias Donoudis. (@carlsaganaki) April 10, 2014

Final thought
Victorian soccer hasn't been the same since the nut sellers stopped stocking παστέλια.

The Thing That Would Not Die - South Melbourne 3 Richmond 2

What a week. Even if it was only in the world of pretend - and who knows where reality ends and fantasy begins at South Melbourne - it was nice to feel like we were genuinely alive again, instead of pretending that we weren't only marking time.

So after so much A-League ambition nonsense, it was time to actually play a game. First home game of the season after a month away and an Oakleigh forfeit, and according to Chinese whispers going around the ground, even the FFA and Michael Lynch were there. Sadly, I could not verify that either of those was true. Regardless of these the truthiness of these facts, this was the kind of occasion where we usually balls it up. And when Richmond scored their second goal early in the second half, it looked like it'd happened again.

Indeed at 0-2 down I had people yammering away that this was like the Southern Stars debacle last year, I however unusually had the feeling that if we could somehow manage to pinch a quick goal, we'd have a good shot at getting the win, or at the very least a point. Tyson Holmes' overhead goal was as good a way as any to get back into the game. A goal mouth scramble saw the ball bounce high, and you could see the scenario set itself up, see Holmes intent to try it even before perhaps he knew it himself. It looked perhaps more spectacular than it was, the shot just looping into the back of the net, but they all count the same. And when in future times, we'll let fallible memory make it a screamer from the edge of the 18 yard box that no one could have saved.

The 2-2 goal was more regulation. A Brad Norton cross, a header, a goal, Holmes with his second. Have I mentioned that it seems like we've been sending in a lot more crosses this season? It eventually paid off. The third goal was less classic, but just as important. Andy Vlahos, who came on after the second goal replacing Joe Keenan, made himself a nuisance from the get go. After an earlier sideways pass across bamboozled the Richmond defense - and unfortunately the South players who should have done better with the shot - Vlahos found himself free thanks possibly to quick work by the ballboy. His shot was parried by the keeper straight into the path of Rhys Meredith, deflecting off him into the goal.

The rest of the game saw us mostly control the tempo, and thwart a couple more attempts by Richmond to pinch a late equaliser. There are problems. Obvious problems. We look vulnerable out wide. There were communicating issues. I suppose some would counter balance that by saying we also look dangerous on the wings. Perhaps I expect too much from part time footballers. We also miss Alan Kearney's control of the midfield. But we're scoring goals, and thus far winning a lot more games than not, so let's save the complaining until we collapse in a heap mid-season.

Ball Boys
Now I'm all for them being out there and doing their job, but someone has to give them a little bit of instruction, lest I end up having to yell instructions from the back of the grandstand to them again and end up looking like more of a twat than I already do. Here's how it should be.

If we're in front:

• Unless we need more goals for goal difference, or if it will enable our player to take advantage of a slack defense, give the ball back to our players slowly. 
• Don't give the ball back quickly to the opposition. Maybe act like it slipped out of your hands, make it bounce a few times.

If we're behind:

• Give our players the ball quickly.
• Give the opposition the ball quickly

Very simple. They seemed to sort themselves out by the end, which was good to see. But this was no thanks to Gus Tsolakis though, who tried to play up the sportsmanship angle by giving the ball back quickly to Richmond when they were behind. What were you thinking man!

Most of these clubs don't have ball boys. Some even take delays because of balls going onto the freeway as a normal part of the game. We must take advantage of this as much as possible.

You Got To Know When To Hold 'Em
After we'd well and truly started our comeback, you had more than one wit ask Richmond coach Grant Brebner how multi-bet was going.

Long Time No See
After the game, on my way down the stairs, someone called out to me. It wasn't one of my usual acquaintances. In fact I thought my eyes were deceiving me. It was my cousin George. Growing up, George had been as passionate as any South fan that I knew. He had taken me to a few NSL games (such as this one against Perth Glory - he should have taken me to more, but that's a long and complicated story). Like many others, he'd pitched in to help fund the construction of Lakeside after our move from Middle Park.

And then the NSL ended, and things changed. Whenever I saw him – and my family being the way it is, I was lucky to see him once a year – soccer talk revolved around Greek soccer, the EPL, maybe the A-League. After professing to going to Victory games, he thought it quaint that people were still going to South, that I was still going. In what could only come across as patronising, he said it was nice that people were still keeping the club going, even if most people had moved on.

Being a South fan in the situation we've found ourselves in, my reaction was quite predictable. I was angry. I felt insulted. How could someone who'd professed such love for the club now write off that experience as nothing more than being there for the sake of supporting soccer? When the club had given him so much – being 10 years older than me, he would have seen every national title that we won – could he not repay that with, if not attendance and memberships, than at least the courtesy of not re-writing his own history?

And on Sunday, as I took my usual spot up the back of the grandstand, he was there, about 15 rows further down in the same bay, with one of his sons, watching South come from 2-0 down for a 3-2 win. We chatted for a bit, these things always being harder than they should be. He said he'd be back, and while I certainly hope he will, the fact that he came back at all speaks volumes to me about the true place of the club in his heart. After all, he said as much himself.

Maybe I've been too harsh and too dogmatic on this front.

Steve from Broady's Under 21s Report
South Melbourne's under 21s were back in action on Sunday afternoon returning to Lakeside Stadium for the first time in 2013, to take on last season's champions the Richmond Eagles. Trent Rixon and Tom Matthews both remained in the 21s after Peter Tsolakis deemed both players still not 100% fit. South Melbourne were looking to bounce back after the poor showing in the previous round. Sebit Muon found himself on the bench after scoring last week, a decision that raised a few eyebrows. The game started off very slow and it took South ten minutes to kick into gear. In the 13th minute South whipped the ball into the mixer for a towering Trent Rixon to head home and give South a 1-0 lead and that it stayed like that for the rest of an uneventful first half.

In the second half South come out firing and in the 49th minute Anthony Giannopoulos found himself one on one with the keeper. He rounded the keeper with ease and chipped the ball into the back of the net to give South a 2-0 lead. 20 minutes later Giannopoulos found himself in a great position inside the mixer but Rixon was unable to provide the magical cross that he had received in the first half. As the game drew to an end it started to become quite clear that Matthews was not having the best of games and maybe will need another week or two in the 21s until he gets his game back. The full time whistle went and South were 2-0 victors against last season;s champions and will march on with lots of confidence next week against Hume City away until then GET AROUND IT!

Steve from Broady's Canteen Review
Sunday saw South Melbourne's food truck in the spotlight for the first time in 2013. The score system for South Melbourne home games will be as follows. A score each week will be all put together and averaged out to give South's food truck a final score to rank them in the 2013 VPL canteen championship table. I had a souvlaki and was not too impressed. It was very dry and cost $10. Later on in the day I had a kransky; the price was a little better, but the quality of the food stayed the same. I rate week one of the South Melbourne food truck a 4.5/10. They will have 10 more chances to get their act together and get a magical Altona East style souv 10 pointer.

1. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
2. Southern Stars 2/10
3. Green Gully 1/10
4. Dandenong DQ

South food truck

Week 1 4.5

Jersey Night
My chips under parma issue at Beachcomber seems to have become semi-legendary. Anyway, the jersey night last week was very much like the jersey night last year. Same location, same food, a bit better fundraising. Not much to tell really.

Next Week
Hume away on Sunday. Haven't seen them play this season, but their form seems a bit all over the shop. I expect us to be tested though.

Final Thought
They played Zombie Nation after one of the goals went in. A fan and I talked about Time of the Season by The Zombies. Someone whose love for the club I assumed was dead was, at least for a little while, resurrected. Is there a theme emerging here?

A Glorious Night of TELLING IT LIKE IT IS! (or maybe just how some people see it but with the use of an authoratative voice so people are more likely to think you're being a realist and more knowledgable)

Or,


Reading Slaughterhouse 5 before rocking up to events celebrating the past and the future can alter perceptions in ways probably entirely intended by the author.


This entry has the usual wearying digressions.

I missed the 2010 jersey presentation with the least troublesome of my many medical emergencies of last year. I was in recovery mode after having my wisdom teeth taken out. Insert corny joke about that being less painful then such events; it'd have been true anyway, as unlike many dental themed horror stories, I was under general anesthetic for the entire procedure.

Anyway, the 2011 version was back at Kinisi for the first time since 2008. Almost the entire crew I would have normally attended and fraternised with in the past was absent. The reasons were many and varied - illness, hatred of Kinisi, disillusionment and being halfway through a nervous breakdown, the last of which I learned this week is not an actual medical term. Even I probably qualify for several of those categories, but I'd already committed! Blast!

I was with Gains and Hellas Johnny though, which made the evening more than tolerable. I'll say this about the seating arrangements. Not that I wish any sort of harm to those in the bliss of romantic entrapment, but being on a table filled with single people and one obviously very much in love couple makes one feel like a recalcitrant of some sort.

The player auction didn't seem to really take off. Indeed, the majority of the evening seemed muted, as if, after the recent celebrations of the past and the apparent end to life on the slow train to financial oblivion, there was no more need or energy to be fired up about the club anymore. That perhaps we'd found a niche we could survive in and that perhaps everyone was emotionally spent. Or maybe it's just a transition year. No home ground yet, the major battles won but the war not quite over. A 50 year old suddenly feeling the full force realisation of its best years behind it?

There was also the panel discussion. There was no Q&A segment, which was just as well I suppose, as I had been shunted into the back corner of the room facing away from the stage. They perhaps should have put me behind a curtain just to make sure I didn't do anything stupid - in the past I had an awful habit of rolling my eyes at almost anything, such was my teenage cynicism. I'm better at that these days, I have a little more self-control.

Too much talk about the EPL and pandering to the imagined loyalties of overseas allegiances forged in the heat of a suburban loungeroom. Koutoufides and Christou had some interesting anecdotes - did you know they were both Collingwood fans growing up? - but for the most part their presence on the panel was more of a fifth wheel. For all Ljubo's theatricality, there is an eventual one dimensional aspect which comes into his rhetoric. Still, it was interesting to hear about how while he was in Switzerland, he was getting half the wage of his time at the Glory.

Unlike Les Murray in the past, Mark Bosnich at least had the courtesy not to humour our delusions of grandeur by being unapologetic about his and/or the FoxSports team's stance that change was necessary in the game and that we should be relegated to the toxic waste dump of Australian football. Nor was he sorry that the players reaped the benefits more than anyone of the television money revolution, even while the fans were frozen ever more out of accessing the teams they love. His point had some merit - players, like other workers, had been exploited for generations by their employers. But has the ledger in some cases swung too far the other way? There wasn't any chance to ask that question, or any other.

After all the formalities were done, we stuck around for a bit catching up with people I see on a weekly basis anyway. Hellas Johnny, being a starfucker, got a few photos taken with some of the luminaries. Then we left. East Richmond station is one of my personal favourites. In the heart of the inner city and yet skipped over so often. So it goes.

In all seriousness, I probably should be banned from attending such functions, since I seem to always miss the point. It's about the hobnobbing and fundraising, not about quarter-literate cultural critiques and the fact that the chicken was dry again.

The 'you've already got your jersey' presentation on next week

What with all the hilarity of everything else that's been happening, I've almost totally forgotten that the jersey presentation is on next week. And apart from being held several weeks into the season it's also got an interesting little twist on the usual goings on. Details below

• It's at Kinisi, it's $50, and it's on Friday 25th
• And it will have a panel discussing Australian football!
• The panel will include Eddie Krncevic, Ange Christou, Anthony Koutoufides and... Mark Bosnich! Very exciting!

Too bad it's a football discussion because there were some kickass questions that could be asked. Should be interesting regardless.

South season launch, er, launched

The season launch or Jersey Presentation night is back to more familiar surrounds at Albert by the Lake, on Friday 26th February, cost $105. All things being equal, South of the Border will be there. Will it be more or less eventful than last time? We'll see.

Something Really Important

It has come to my attention that someone is not happy with something I have written. That person is Ulysses Kokkinos, and the offending statements are contained within this post about the 2009 season launch. I would like to make it perfectly clear, that at no stage did I intend to cause offence to Ulysses, though I can well understand how the post would have done so - and for that I apologise. I would also like to clarify that I do not have any issues with Ulysses personally - to the best of my recollection I have never met Ulysses, or if I have, we have spoken only briefly and not at all to do with the relevant issues.

The issue that I was raising within the relevant parts of that article was as an observation of how club cultures work, specifically South's, and how some people who have committed acts which could earn them derision and ostracism from within club circles - whatever those actions may be - are treated differently from others in the same or similar boats. In my estimation, the examples of Ulysses Kokkinos and Con Boutsianis were the most relevant and well known amongst the broader South family in order to illustrate my point.

Yarra Park never stood a chance

Looks like the collective amnesia has shifted from South Melbourne United to Yarra Park Aias. I'm sure in another 50 years we'll sort that out too. I've ordered the jersey Rama is wearing, but hopefully the other two become available for purchase as well, seeing as how there has been a fair bit of interest in the Hellenic strip in particular.

Holy mass of dead insects

Or, I guess I just wasn't made for these times, again,

Or, a slightly jaded version of what went down at the season launch, with the order of events probably messed up bigtime.


What a night! It was the most awesomest, magical, drunken... hold on, that's actually someone else's story. Let me start again.

I'm being driven to the ground in a board member's car. He's got recent AC/DC playing at a decent volume, and though my fingers gently mimic their dinosaur rhythm section, that music's not really my forte. Neither is the Greek music put on, but it's his car, he can play what he wants. And it's not like everyone can get pumped up by listening to Manic Street Preachers 'Mausoleum'. So us people with a more defiantly miserable taste in music sometimes just have to make do. But it's more about the company than anything, which was as usual was quite enjoyable. Especially in regards to a phone call made which we can't elaborate on sadly, for fear of alienating and offending one of our regular readers with its delightful wickedness.

So we get to Lakeside, and we park the car through the side gate, making us like bigshots. After repeatedly being called "Proedre" (president) by South's groundskeeper Argiri over recent months - which was added to in its bizarre backhanded compliment fashion by certain alleged South of the Border fanboys, but that's a story for another day, maybe when I figure out where sincerity ends and irony begins - but it does make you feel like someone important. But by doing it that way, I missed out on walking along the candle lit path in the social club... the right way at least.

After some squandered time which I'll never get back standing around doing not much, I went into the office where people were putting the finishing touches on slides and rundowns... but it was probably best that I leave that area, and so I did. Eventually people start arriving and we chit chat and eat finger food. There's certain stunners there you'll know you'll never see during the season, and the same old diehards who are pretty much always there. And then we get called finally to go in, an hour after we're supposed to have started. Greeks. Go figure.

Seating for 300, with apparently 296 of those spots filled. Walking through the spaces between tables is tough, but manageable. The television screen is at one of the rectangular complex, near the players tables, and the majority of the Clarendon Corner crew here tonight as well those who might be considered mere associates of said crew were at the extreme opposite end of the marquee. Not sure which cake eating boffin came up with that arrangement or why. I pop the sticker in my pocket... more than one person makes the mistake of sitting on their programme and membership brochure.

Speeches are made, and videos are played, choc full of corn which has its fans but not everyone can survive on a diet of pure polenta. And so we were served what I suppose they called the first course, the appetizers, a selection of dips and antipasto on which there was little room to place on our overly crowded tables, and therefore nigh to impossible to fully enjoy. No matter. Soon it was time to tug at the heartstrings some more, by asking people to buy a membership. While I can admit the fact that there were plenty of wives and girlfriends there last night there who wouldn't necessarily turn up to a game, surely everyone else would have or would soon purchase one anyway. But you probably can't take anything for granted anymore... a lesson learned the hard way.

Rama, Horsey and probably Stevie O'Dor were called up to don the three heritage strips we'll apparently be wearing this year. The thinking behind it was that we were celebrating or acknowledging the triumvirate which made South Melbourne Hellas... and everyone lapped it up. Except me, because I'm a trainspotter and I know the truth, or about 95% of it anyway. Hellenic were represented by a striped jersey, United by their amnesiac red 'V', and Yarra Park by ostensibly the main strip we'll be wearing this year which is copy of a 1983/4 Buffalo Cup jersey. So what did happen to the Yarra Park Aias jersey? I'm betting they just didn't know what it actually looked like. Hell, apart from the alleged colours, I don't know either. What were those colours? Yellow and black. Probably best to move on right now.

Time to auction off the players. The auction was split into two parts, with defenders and goalies first and the midfielders and forwards second. Smfcboard purchased Shane Nunes for a lazy gorilla, and bumped up the prize probably on a few players. After a bit of a break - was that when we had the main course? I'd been hanging out for that since lunchtime, and unfortunately I didn't get the chicken. I got veal , which was ok, but the question on every hungry person's lips was, where was all the food? The serving sizes were that modest, and sure the food was good, but seriously, where was it all? And don't get me started on the deserts. How was I supposed to eat my pannacotta without a spoon? It took about 15 minutes to get one, while I sat and watched my little chilled delicacy slowly warm up.

Now where were we? Oh yeah, the auction. The second part saw higher prices, with Fernando winning the title for highest pricetag, somewhat surprisingly perhaps with Horsey back at the club. Every player was given their shirt by a former player, who was asked to say a few words, but usually declined. Jimmy Armstrong told a Scottish joke, Jim Pyrgolios had a spiel in Greek (pretty much the only Greek spoken in an official capacity on the night - interpret that as you wish), and Ulysses Kokkinos was introduced as the Hugh Hefner of Australian football. The hearty welcome for him made me feel uneasy. How is it possible that a convicted cocaine trafficker and shameless user of women can be so loved, but Con Boutsianis be so reviled?

Former President George Donikian got his chance to hold court once more. Seeing him previously outside the tent, I was struck by how much less he looked like George Donikian in person than on television, if that makes sense. His speech inspired most, but I thought he rambled on too long without really any distinguishing remarks. His groupies didn't seem to mind though, one telling me how much she loved that man. It's about the closest we came to celebrity on the night. One wonders which semi-famous people will crawl out from their rocks when the anticipated really big 50th anniversary bash happens. And with the raffle, silent auctions, and constant and infuriating noise of people talking over the speakers, that was pretty much it.

The highlight for me was. Rama getting named as captain. It's a deserved accolade, which also showed to all those people who have already made their minds up about this issues, that perhaps we're not the ethnic enclave they think we are. In the programme provided his ambition was not to play A-League, improve as a player or go overseas; it was to earn the respect and admiration at South that player like Trimmers are held in. While the eras are different, and he doesn't have the skill, the fact that he wants to achieve his goals here, that he wants the responsibility of being captain is tremendous.

I got to hold the Hellenic Cup trophy, which is nice and heavy. There's a photo of me and one of the local larrikins somewhere out there in the digital realm. What is it with people acting like dickheads in the city these days? In the cab on the way home some dickhead deliberately struck the driver side mirror. You could see him lining up the shot. What was the point of that? Maybe I need to be like everyone else and drink more, than it'll all make sense. I had one glass of wine and people's heads turned. You may be surprised to learn that I had a good time overall. And this morning I had a 25 minute spell on my $5 exercise bike, while everyone else was fucked up. So there.

Great Moments In Scaffolding

So I was out at the club yesterday, to help move some chairs from the top of the grandstand down to the marquee on the field - a pretty tiring and boring task which had to be done sometime - but before that I was given the chance to take a ride in the scissor lift being used to repair the scoreboard. Now I'm scared of heights amongst multiple other things so I initially politely declined, but eventually I caved into peer pressure and we went for a little ride, first up, then around from the back of the scoreboard to the front in order to measure the perspex panels in case we decided to replace them. By then a fourth person wanted to come up in the scissor lift, so we went down, picked him up, and went up again. When we wanted to go down again however, the machine decided there was just too much weight on board. Manuals were read, weight redistributed and buttons pressed, all to no avail.

So while trying to figure out what to do, we watched the lads train on the other side of the marquee... and waited some more. Eventually someone decided to give Niki from the office a buzz, to come and work on the manual controls - I'm not sure why, but that didn't seem to do the trick either. Eventually a combination of Niki and boardmember George Triantos managed to make the manual controls work, and we were able to dismount. Except for the fact that I got to go on a scissor lift joyride around the BJS outer. Of all the things that I thought I could experience as South fan, anything involving scissor lifts didn't seem to the enter the equation.

Oh and the scoreboard? It's in its best shape since like, forever man.

I'm going to the Jersey Presentation night. Are you?

Iy's on this Saturday, 21st February on the Lakeside surface underneath the marquee. I mean, are tickets even available anymore? This sold out last year, and one would expect it to do so again., Call the club and book your place I reckon. And bring cameras so you can be in photos with players and spare time supermodels and shit.

South Women also through to Hellenic Cup final

I've been a little negligent in this regard but the South Melbourne Women's team have also booked their place in next week's final, after wins against Brunswick City (13-0) and Heidelberg (1-0). In a neat double header of sorts, they'll be playing Heidelberg next week, as will the men's team as well. While the finals matches are slated for next Saturday, there may be a change in the time or even possibly the day (to Sunday) to accomodate us because of our season launch/jersey presentation night which is also on next Saturday. News at it comes to hand.

South in the Suburbs quite good; South Melbourne wins game, also good

Ok, so I didn't have to work today, so I was able to go and spend all my money buying memberships and shit in Oakleigh. I got me my usual South Gold membership (with voting rights and and keyrings and shit), and I also paid for a jersey and for my spot at the jersey presentation night. Wow. I'm awesome. That was $345 dollars straight to the South kitty; it could've ended up in a worse place to be honest.

On my shirt I've asked if we can get numbers, and they said they'll get back to me on that. It's all a bit of a blur now, but for some reason if it were to happen I'd be getting Shane Nunes' number 2. I didn't ask about names, but if they were available as well, one would have to go the whole hog. Either that or break Shane's heart, but do the right and pay due homage to the great James Spanos. Anyway, quite a few South peeps turned out for the occasion, and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Below: Everyone else will be posting photos of the entire team in a nice shot and smiling and shit. I'm going to be different and give you a photo of them getting ready for that shot.



So it was then on Kingston Heath, where the search for Spanos continued in vain. The consoloation prize was seeing a pretty decent South line up clean up Panserraikos (formerly South Springvale Serres, who we played last year), but seriously, the souvlaki was pretty ordinary, dry as fuck turkish bread, no cacique, and they didn't even put salt on the cucumbers in the salad. For fuck's sake.

Below: Fernando and friends celebrate scoring a penalty against their fearsome opposition.

I'm sorry I don't have a picture of the quite nice 'Large Yoyo' I had from Nikos Quality Cakes, nor of the Nestle peach flavoured iced tea. Good luck to Jim and Raf on their wedding tomorrow.

South vs South! Family Day! Jersey Night! Event Overload!

Did you get the latest edition of the club's brandspanking new newsletter? If you didn't you probably should sign up for it via the wesbsite. It kicks arse, so hopefully it's something that can be kept up throughout the entire season. Now there's stuff in there about the Family Day, the Jersey Presentation Night, and an interesting friendly game against Tasmanian champion South Hobart. Now since I wrote the bloody part about that game, I feel it's kinda my right to just dump that bit here for youir edification.

South Melbourne FC is pleased to announce that as part of its preparations for the 2009 VPL season, and its 50th anniversary, the club will be hosting a friendly match against 2008 Tasmanian champions South Hobart on Saturday January 31st.

Founded in 1910, making them the Apple Isle's oldest club, South Hobart swept all before them in 2008, winning the Premier League as well the State, Steve Hudson and Launceston City Cups. Coached by the experienced Ken Morton, South Hobart also contributed 8 players to the Tasmanian squad in the A-League Youth competition.

2008 Jersey Presentation night roundup

So so night. Was sold out which was good. Had Michael Zappone as host trying to butter us up, and not doing a terribly smashing job, but he wasn't helped by the rudeness of a few people who kept talking over him. Service at Kinisi was pretty crap. Rarely if ever asked if we wanted drink refills, and tried to serve food like your mother ('you will eat it and like it', more or less). I heard rumours of dessert, but can't confirm its existence. Anyway, pleasure to be on the same table as Shane Nunes and Benji Vahid, they were good company, even with the extended discussion about freeways and such. For the record, Fernando De Moraes and Ricky Diaco came out equal first at the player auction. Other stuff that sorta happened:

* Which handsome and educated boardmember was hogging the attractive hostesses, who were meant to be flogging off raffle tickets?
* Which chump played $500 to be in a photo with said hostesses when they could have got one for free?
* How did that wine glass get broken on an adjoining table?
* Which ex-South goalscoring machine was drunk at the front of a Cold Chisel gig at Bombay Rock back in the early 80s?

I forgot to take my gift bag home with me, with the coffee and bucket-hat. Thanks also to any players I happened to be in photos with. Not sure if I'll do this again next year, but we'll see.