A heartfelt message to the people at Western Suburbs

Hi, how you doing? It's been a while since I was last at your venue. Sure I was there on Wednesday evening to watch my South Melbourne play, but last Saturday's Hellenic Cup match day was the first time I've been able to spend an extended period of time at Ralph Reserve for several years.

I see you have a little covered terrace now. Very nice. Sure it faces the setting sun, and the rain will get through the gaps during the winter, but it's better than what a lot of clubs have. And your souvlaki, while a little salty for my taste, was still good value for $7. Throw in a soft drink and it';s an even tenner, no need to fiddle around with change. And the lady working in the canteen said she'd made it extra special for me. But despite all your improvements, I was most astounded - and as you'll see soon, disappointed - by one of your lower key acquisitions. It appears you now have a pinball machine tucked away behind the pool table.

But not just any pinball machine - a Family Guy pinball machine, a table I haven't played yet. It looked a bit sullen sitting hidden away in that corner. But it caught my attention anyway. Surely it couldn't have been as bad as the Pirates of the Caribbean table. Was it worth my time and money? Sadly, no. And not because it was a poor table - it's because you hadn't even bothered to turn it on. How can you have a pinball table and not have it on?

It's hard enough to find a pinball machine these days in Melbourne, thanks to the gradual death of video game arcades across Melbourne (except for those ones allegedly on Russel Street which are allegedly just a front for drug dealing, allegedly) - and most of those offer the same stupid music or dancing games or one on one beat em ups.

Back in my day lost weekend at Melbourne University, when I wasn't trying to lead John Stockton and the Utah Jazz to NBA Jam glory, I was across at the pinball machines - Dr Who, Indiana Jones, some blasted fishing one, Last Action Hero. At the old Playtime on Bourke Street, they had that soccer with the moving goalie, and sometimes he worked, sometimes he didn't, and one time he wasn't even there! Oh, and the dollar coins I threw into that slotted abyss at Highpoint! Those dreadful Star Wars tables, the legendary South Park table with the flushing toilet, the too easy but logical Monopoly table and the tolerable because it was the by then only one left Elvis table.

Um, where was I? Oh yeah. Good folk of Panellinios. I am a sad case, yes. That is why I hang around soccer grounds where there is scarce interest from even the most diehard of soccer fanatics. But during that down time of half an hour on Saturday, while Heidelberg and Brunswick City warmed up, the former with a slimmed down Tommi Tommich, after he allegedly dropped 20 kilos after allegedly being dumped by his girlfriend - wouldn't it have been better for me to get out of the sun and away from the old men, and wasted some idle time, and maybe even earned a replay on Family Guy pinball?

There's a reasonable chance I will still be the same sad case next week. Will you have your pinball machine on then? I'll have a dollar spare just in case.


yours,

Paul Mavroudis

Professional sad case and pinball aficionado, despite my poor aim and reflexes

George likes his chicken spicy - St Albans 0 South Melbourne 2

So the Public Transport Faction elected to alter its usual habit of watching the reserves (who won 2-1 by the way) and headed instead to 'pre-drinks' at the St Albans Hotel, a venue I've walked past a number of times on my way to uni without ever stepping inside its doors. We went out the back to the sports bar area which all in all is actually not too bad a place. And it had a pinball machine! OK, so it was only Pirates of the Caribbean, a terrible table, but pinball is still alive! The last time I played pinball in St Albans was at uni when they still had that soccer one with the moving goalie. That was some years ago. Man, that was a good table.

First ever visit to Churchill Reserve, which is something like a cross between Sunshine George Cross' Chaplin Reserve (the stepped terraces) and Western Suburbs' Ralph Reserve (the compact field), but about ten times better than either of them, thanks in no small part to the very nice social club. Unfortunately the line for food and drink was too long for my tastes, and I can't write anything good or bad about the local fare.

Anyway, amongst all these things, a VPL match did break out at about just after 3pm, and despite St Albans being in an absolute mess at the moment - no coach, ow wins, no morale - our task was made harder by the absence of Jesse Krncevic, doing some kind of law exam, and Steven O'Dor and Steven Topalovic carrying injuries. In addition, Marinos Gasparis started on the bench. What all this meant was Kyle Joryeff up front, Bobby Russell getting a start, and Carl Recchia playing in defense in what looked like a sweeper's role. Recchia's absence from the middle saw Seb Petrovich get another chance in central midfield.

We started off well enough, and a save from a Joryeff shot lead to an early corner. Taseski whipped the ball in, the St Albans defence failed to clear it, and Fernando latched onto the loose ball for the opening goal, his 50th league goal for South. We seemed to be, if not in control of the match at that point, then at least doing more than enough to keep out of trouble and create the occasional forward thrust. But the big tackles on the small ground started coming in, and all of a sudden Russell was off with Gasparis replacing him. St Albans created perhaps the only other good chance of the half, with a goal mouth scramble from what appeared to be a clear offside - the linesman did put his flag up - all of which lead to Carl Recchia saving the ball with his face. When the linesman made his next offside call - this time acknowledged by the referee - he got a big cheer from the visiting fans, and he flashed a little smile.

The second half wasn't so flash from us. We were pinned into our half for long stretches, and we struggled to get and maintain possession. But it wasn't all bad, as we defended well for the most part, blocking the long range shots and intercepting the loose balls in the box. It helped that St Albans moved the ball slowly and predictably, but it was nice for once to go to a small ground and actually put out an appropriate response to the conditions. About fifteen minutes from time, Ljubo Milicevic sidled past three opponents, slipped a through ball to Joryeff who made it 2-0, and more or less iced the game.

Seb Petrovich became another victim of the home side's physical approach, and he came off with the assistance of the medicos with ice on his ankle. Nicky Jacobs got a late run replacing Kamal Ibrahim, and eventually time ran out for Dinamo, who remain winless. South jump to the top of the table for the first time in about four years. Apart from Recchia, who played an excellent game outside his usual position, no one stood out for us. But a cleansheet and a backs to the wall performance was more than enough for me. Next week back at Northcote, at 3pm, against an improving Richmond who have won a couple of games on the trot and have momentarily at least picked themselves up off the canvas.

Gains was celebrating his 27th birthday today, keeping it very quiet until we got to dinner at the Hot Space Sichuan Bar on Russell Street, where he decided it was his treat. The Kung Pao chicken was excellent, though one suspects the mirrored wall they have there is for gweilo like me and Steve from Broady to see for ourselves how red we became. In fact this was he first time I'd even seen Steve struggle to finish a meal, not because it wasn't good, but because the heat of Sichuan cuisine got through to him. All in all, a good day out. Tomorrow, international ice hockey action.