Unnecessary Anticlimax Blues - South Melbourne 2 Kingston City 3

Putting aside the fact that the season hasn't actually ended yet, this was a disappointing way to end the season. Everyone came into this game thinking that there was no way Heidelberg would lose their game against Bulleen, and therefore whatever we did wouldn't matter so much.

And that's kinda what happened. Heidelberg did win their game, our result became meaningless in the greater scheme of things, and we all went home if not content, then at least not miserable. If only it were that simple.

FFV and their accomplices having botched the simultaneous kick-offs, our game started later than most of the others, and soon enough the Bergers were 1-0 down, then 2-0 down. Then we were up! It was the best five to ten minutes of the season, everyone feeling joyous and wonderful. Then it all started falling apart.

Iaconis scored a belter of a long range goal for Kingston, Heidelberg started making inroads into their deficit, and we fell apart. Pushing numbers forward looking for goals, keeping an eye on the other game as we fell behind, everything turned a bit nasty in the stands,

Then as Heidelberg first drew level then stormed into the lead in their game, and the helicopter was firmly planted in Bulleen, the mood softened just a little. Kristian Konstatinidis' long range goal at least gave us something to cheer for, and the scoreboard had erroneously put us ahead.

Having lost the game, the debate rages on to other things. Like, considering where we came from - second last place after seven or eight rounds - to where we ended up, second place, was a pretty damn fine achievement.

Now one could say that we should never have found our way into that situation in the first place, but considering some of our Negative Nancy pundits had us not only missing the finals, but getting relegated to boot, it's not such a bad outcome.

Of more legitimate complaint would be that we've seemingly hit a bit of a form slump, Especially at home in more recent times. Losses to Gully, Avondale and Kingston, and only a win over Edgeworth (last minute) and Bentleigh (dead tired) in our last five games.

Even there I would note that the Gully game was months ago, and the Avondale game hardly a game we were overrun in. But some people invest a lot in the Fortress Lakeside myth, and that includes the coaching staff and players, so this erratic run of home form isn't ideal.

The usual concerns also remain. What to do for goals when Milos Lujic is marked out of a game. What to do to bolster the central midfield with a bit of experience without sacrificing effectiveness on our right hand side by moving Matthew Foschini. How to change things up when Marcus Schroen goes missing in game, especially now that we don't have Jesse Daley as an option.

Oh, and the persistent problem of mid-season recruiting and the monstrous folly of this Spanish experiment. The good news is that we only have to win two games to win the championship.

Meh, we probably would've botched the national playoffs anyway.

But what does it all mean?
So we've finished second on the table, but what happens now?. First of all, it means we get a week off before hosting the highest ranked winner from this week's finals matches. That means if Avondale win their game against Oakleigh, we'll host Avondale. If Avondale lose however, we'll be hosting the winner of Green Gully and Bentleigh.

If we even dare to look further ahead, should we make the grand final, the game will apparently be played at a neutral venue, and not Lakeside Stadium. But we'll cross that bridge if and when we arrive at it.

Minor statistical anomaly of no importance
It doesn't make any difference whatsoever to what happened yesterday, or what will happen in the immediate future, but this was the first time we'd lost our final game of the home and away season since 2006. Considering some of the very mediocre seasons we had between then and the Chris Taylor era, that's quite the little run. Of course we went on to win the championship that season, back when there was no confusion about 'premiers' and 'champions'. Not that I'm looking for omens mind you.

If I may be so bold as to be a little bit optimistic...
For a game that offered little hope of realistically securing first place before we started, and considering we also had to keep fresh for Wednesday, I'm not even sure one could take much of out of this and see some sort of pattern. The game started off slowly, almost as it were a pre-season game. The atmosphere was flat until it was enlivened by the planets seemingly coming into alignment, and it was our own misguided and foolish optimism that made things feels worse than they already did..

Yes we would've expected to beat a recently promoted team that had achieved its primary aim of avoiding relegation but wasn't going to play finals, but having to chase the game - and goals - created a situation which suited Kingston and their ability to hit teams on the counter. The argument that our team mentally capitulated doesn't wash with me. Hopefully that's not what the message was from the movers and shakers if they visited the changing rooms after the game.

We had enough chances to score more than our two goals, and failed to do so. It's not the end of the world, let alone the end of the season. If any of our players are foolish enough to read this nonsense, I'd want them to remember that they've put together a pretty good season overall, and that there's still time to make it better.

Next game
FFA Cup at home against Sorrento on Wednesday. Please note that kickoff for this one is 7:30PM, not 8:00PM as per the last FFA Cup round.

And yes, the average mug punter has access to the social club from early on this time around, with the corporate stuff being held elsewhere. It's your social club, use it!

Speaking of which
Where was everyone yesterday before the game? You missed me beating Griff 1-0 (PAOK vs Socceroos) on FIFA 15 with a shot from outside the box that rolled under Mat Ryan. It was magic.

Minor updates
I've updated our 2014 post about the Paul Wade statuette.

Also match programmes - 2011 minor semi-final against Oakleigh; 2011 women's grand final against Sandringham.

Final thought

Trent Rixon's time at @smfc was marred by injury, but we'll always have this moment https://t.co/5Jq9WzWad4 enjoy your retirement, Trent.

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) August 19, 2017

Kitchen sink drama - Bulleen Lions 2 South Melbourne 2

Seeing as the end result was the same as our 2016 trip to the Veneto Club, I could just do a rinse repeat of last year's summary, except for the fact that it was quite different.

I mean, right from the beginning you could tell that the synthetic pitch was less of an obstacle than it was last year - not because it was any better, but because we just seemed to adapt to it much faster than we did in 2016, when it took us 80 minutes to get anything resembling confidence on it.

And thus in part because of that, we dominated the first half. We should have had several goals during the opening 45 minutes, but only slightly poor finishing - and some good goalkeeping from the bloke that apparently kept against us in that Palm Beach FFA Cup game - kept the goal tally down to just the one goal for us.

I can't even fault the corner taking, because it was better than usual, and we even managed to get a free kick on target, which is miles ahead of where we were last year and the (counts on fingers, runs out of fingers) however many years it is since we had a reliably good free kick taker.

Though, to heap scorn on them again for no good reason, watching one of our lads in the under 20s plonking free kicks into the back of the net during the curtain raiser with consummate ease was bloody irritating.

Anyway, Leigh's goal was very nice, though I only caught brief sight of it from my angle (I'll explain later), and while Bulleen had the odd moment of counter attacking potential through their right hand side, there were no alarm bells ringing. I wasn't going all over the top like Colonel Mustard standing next to me claiming that it would finish three or four-nil to us, but I felt, dare I say it, almost pleased.

Then the second half began, and everything good about the second half disappeared into a puff of laboured metaphor smoke. Bulleen looked better, and before you knew it had swung in two excellent crosses from the right hand side for two headers. Of course you could say where was the marking, but looking at the videos afterwards, it was not as straightforward as that.

For the first goal, Marcus Schroen found himself out-muscled and outmaneuvered. For the second, no-one, least of all Tim Mala who would eventually get in screen shot, was even close. But there was only so much either of them could do - the delivery was perfect, and for the second goal, the clumsy turnover (one of a number of appalling, panicky turnovers) which lead to the cross being sent in saw the entire defense all at sea.

We worked our way back into the game with sheer effort rather than class, and it was that as much as luck and/or skill that got us a point from this game. Bulleen had a goal disallowed for offside (good call, he was right in front of the Nicola Roganovic for crying out loud), and in a neat reversal of what happened at the Community Shield the other week we went right up the other end and scored.

A puff of black powdery rubbery stuff comes up as Milos Lujic is brought
down in the box; the resulting penalty saw South level scores.
Photo: Mark Avellino.

Looking at it live, I didn't think it was a good call, but others thought differently; looking at the video the first time, my resolute opinion that it wasn't a penalty was weakened, but then when watching the SMFCTV footage I swung back to no penalty.

On the other hand, as I noted on Twitter after the game, when you watch the game from behind the goals (as I did in the second half) you'll see Milos gets scragged from pillar to post. If he gets a soft penalty every now and then, it's at the very least the justice of probabilities coming into play.

Someone may have been looking for an omen because of who the keeper was and his past history, but Milos did the job, and we got out of jail to a certain extent.

During the pre-season, it was intimated by some that it would take the team about seven weeks to get into our stride, and perhaps we all underestimated Bulleen following the turnover in personnel they had over the summer, so it's not panic stations yet. Still, some onlookers were quick to go the jugular for the 'kick it to Milos' game plan, but if you see the 'around the grounds' segment for this week, you'll see that's not just a South Melbourne thing.

The worst news - apart from the dropped points - was that Michael Eagar's injury (a knee?) looked serious, and while we have cover at the centre back position nowadays, one still hopes it's not too serious. Luke McCormack also seemed to hobble off a bit when he subbed off.

Mandatory Simpsons reference for my mate Dave
Ah, the promise of exhilaration at the start of a new season,

And then, well, the reality of the situation kicks in.

Non-mandatory literary reference
Some of you may recall that last year I burst a spleen when writing about the poor public transport and pedestrian access to the Veneto Club. It hasn't improved (duh) over the last 12 months but at the same time, one can change one's attitude to such things. That influence was effected in a practical sense by taking a more logical route (avoiding the Manningham Hotel car park) and doubling back towards the traffic lights on Bulleen Road. But the change in attitude was also influenced by having recently re-read James Joyce's A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

A digression taken in order to cut and paste something from a blog about books none of you knew existed and which none of you will ever see
Many years ago, I bought this book from the library stall at Bayside's Paisley campus. I felt, even back then, that it was sad that these books were being discarded. I would've also bought Ulysses at the same time, total cost surely not much more than a dollar? That I can't remember. Why did I buy it? I think it was the cover, but certainly the title. There was something irretrievably classicist, or rather, canonical about it. Of course back then I didn't know about these things, even in the abstract, let alone that for something like Portrait to become canonical would have been unthinkable in its own time, because of its outright modernism. I just thought it sounded sophisticated, and like so many people who read 'serious' books, I thought reading this would give me a level of intellectual prestige.

As an aside, as an example of how erratic and eclectic my reading sensibilities were at the time - and even now, to be fair - around the same time I read Loaded. Hardly in the same genre, or was it? Well, perhaps one of them was more accomplished. I can remember one Christmas barbecue argument directed at me by cousin Aggie, chastising me for reading contemporary writers when I should have been reading the classics. Years later of course, she was as contemporary in her tastes as anyone.

So I bought the book and read it out of teenage intellectual vanity. I admit it. I saw the title, and had delusions of grandeur that it was not about the artist, it was about an artist, any artist. Maybe even in its grand scheme, even me. And yes, that is true to an extent, because Joyce has Stephen expand upon all sorts of aesthetic and ethical questions as they relate to how an artist should function in the world. It was only upon re-reading that I came to understand that, in a very important and central way, as much as this book was about any artist, it was very much about the artist; that is, Joyce himself.

But I didn't think of the book in that way at the time. I thought, here is a novel, it is obviously a serious novel, it is out of sync not only with the world as a whole but especially with the world around me as I knew it. Who did I know who read? Mike, then a friend, eventually to become a sort of traitor, though who knows how much reluctance there was in the act when it came, and how much of it was sheer necessity to get rid of someone who could just not get the hint?

Anyway. what did I remember of the book after actually having read it? The very first scenes, but not much of them - I couldn't even remember the argument about Parnell. The scene that struck most were the long discussion of Catholic hell. Very vivid and frightening, but did it change me and make me more religious? No, just sympathetic to Stephen who is affected by the imagery, but then abandons his fear anyway because he can't keep up what becomes the pretence of his efforts at penitence.

What did I miss or forget? The Irish nationalist arguments, the political and cultural tensions. The way every other character that isn't Stephen drifts and blurs into the background. Often little introduction to who the other characters are - Stephen knows who they are and that's what matters. I forgot the endless amount of siblings who kept emerging whenever Stephen would return home. And I especially forgot about Emma, and the way she existed at the edge of novel. For some reason I had it in my head that she left with Stephen at the end, but that's all wrong. She goes with someone else, and Stephen only makes the decision to leave Ireland, but hasn't yet left.

I still failed to understand the long treatises interwoven into the novel, and of course the Latin phrases. They are of their time, more now than even then. Because of these stretches of the narrative, many of which I could not understand because of my limited intellectual capabilities, I found myself getting bored. But it always seemed to come around. There are lines and moments which just leap off the page, such as,

I have amended my life, have I not? he asked himself.

and

And yet he felt that, however he might revile and mock her image, his anger was also a form of homage.

The latter of which is surely talking about Ireland as much as a woman.

I remember reading this book at Greek School, Omiros to be exact, in the darkness. I did it to stand out, sure, but I did it because what else could I do? The kids there took pity on me, tried to include me in whatever it was they were doing, but I could not make the leap across to understanding. Neither could they, but bless them they tried.

But my most abiding memory is of a classmate and sort of acquaintance, Rachel (why did I think it was Rebecca?), who was then a photography student, taking some photos of various members of our group, or at least those willing to be photographed. I don't think I was very comfortable with the way I looked at the time (an understatement), but I got her to take a photo of me with the book, my eyes visible just above the cover, reading the book. Despite some soft pressing, I never did get to see the photo, if indeed it was ever even developed. It was vain of me, but was it not also at least human?

Now at least I can say that I don't mind my appearance so much, and am happy to have my photo taken by anyone - though I'll still try and pull a pose. Is not the ultimate goal of the artist, even a mediocre one, to become the embodiment of their own creativity?

Returning to the point I was trying to make several minutes ago

I love to perambulate!

where, apart from every other theme taking up by that remarkable novel, one is struck by how much walking is done by the characters. They walk through Dublin in rain or shine, and they walk through miles of countryside. This is understandable within the novel's historical context - it is the late 1800s, so of course people were accustomed to walking everywhere - but it also didn't seem to a burden to them. I was also reminded of a conversation I had with a friend of the South of the Border (let's call him Tony), recently returned from a European holiday, where he remarked on the strong pedestrian culture still extant in Europe.

Besides which, there was this old bloke who easily outpaced us up the hill on the return journey. Puts things in perspective.

Aping Robert Christgau, badly (another new segment which will soon tank)
'Leigh Minopoulos' goal' 

Next game
A short turnaround, with a trip to Port Melbourne on Friday.

The quasi-celebrity status of being a blogger in this dead-end league
I used to relish and protect my utter irrelevance. Now that it's gone,. one has to deal with all sorts of well-wishers, suck-holes and distractions at a game. In the first half alone and before the game, I found myself in discussion with famous journos, FFV employees, FFV board members, Twitter celebrities. It's entertaining, but also distracting when all you want to do is watch a game and act like a pork chop.

2017 Memberships
They are now available, with a notable caveat - that being that the online membership portal is not yet functioning, and will not do so until mid-March. I have been informed that this is because the membership portal is being updated, so that membership cards and details will be synced with the social club and new computer systems being installed by the club - for example, in order to quickly calculate member discounts in the social club, as well as track social club capacity.

Until that point, you can download the brochure and form directly, and email the completed form to the club.

The imminent return of the social club has seen the return of the social club membership category. At $220, I think it is good value, but then again, I even bought a social club membership that one year it was available when the new social club didn't materialise.

The social club membership gives one priority access to the social club during major match days, not guaranteed access. This had led to a reiteration of the grievance that the social club should not have included the futsal court, so that the capacity could go above the estimated 230-260 person limit. Of course the counter-argument to that is that the futsal court will provide an income on all the days that South is not playing at home, and that there exists the possibility that

Something to note here is the return of the social club membership has seen voting rights revert back to the situation to when we last had a social club - that being that only social club members will receive voting rights.

The other membership options therefore fall into the season ticket pass category. The options there are pretty straightforward. A $140 season pass, or a $35 three game pass. There are family and concession options available for the social club and season ticket options, but obviously not the three game pass.

In the end, I just hope the bumper sticker is actually half decent this time.

Oh, and if that if happen to have emailed the club my completed form last week, that they might send me a note acknowledging receipt of said email before George Cross leave Chaplin Reserve for good, or the social club is complete - whichever happens first.

Please try harder
Melbourne Victory chairman Anthony Di Pietro popped up after having made some speech or whatever, which one assumes included words and thoughts which other people will care about more than I do. The one comment which did catch South of the Border's attention, if only because everyone else who pretends not to care but actually does care because they lack the discipline that I do, started talking about it. Apparently the aforementioned comment went as follows:

At the core of any expansion, we must be confident that any new licenses don’t compromise the mainstream integrity and the marketability of the competition. 

They must embrace all of us who enjoy sport. We’ve got to learn from lessons past, both good and bad.

The phrase 'mainstream integrity' in particular seemed to scratch the itch of anyone looking for offense. Even I've got to admit that as far as 'barely concealing your contempt and/or fear' comments go - especially comments where you don't name anyone specifically, but everyone still knows who you're talking about - it was pretty good.

On the other hand, while some South fans were happy to get upset - and more power to them for continuing that great tradition - I had to mark Di Pietro's comment down for being rather old hat, so 2007, and just completely out of step with the alleged reality that the A-League purports to have manifested for itself.

For example, seeing as how South is more or less no chance of getting an A-League licence, and seeing as how the A-League has done such a marvellous job of obliterating what little relevance old soccer had left, all while squatting on its portion of the rapidly diminishing unclaimed pastures of mainstream sporting attention, why would one even bother making that kind of comment at all?

It's sad enough when some chump on the 442 forums or The Roar comments section feels the need to ark up about how even the idea of a South bid could undo the relentless march of history which has led us to this point.

But those chumps are, for want of a better word, chumps, But you, Anthony, you're the leader of the most popular soccer club in the country. Do you really need to stoop to that level, of dare I say it, quaintness? Has the A-League stagnated that much that even its hoary insults for old soccer - and even the fact that they feel they need to make them - have become stale?

And then our club said, well, something not entirely stupid
They could have just let Di Pietro's comment go through to the keeper, but instead the club - or at least the bid team portion or affiliate of the club - decided to add its two cents.

"We're absolutely no threat to Victory. We're an asset to Victory, to the A-League and football in general," he told AAP. 

"We're not about cannibalising their membership, their supporters or the interest they've developed. 

"We think we can value add and that's the beauty of the South Melbourne bid. It's about the past coming to the future."

While South of the Border is on record here and here that we believe the notion that South in the A-League would not cannibalise Victory's support is ludicrous, the response is magnificent in its taking of the supreme moral high ground.

Not responding with hostility? Check.

Staying on message about what South would add to the A-League? Check.

Offer to meet with Di Pietro to discuss the issues? Check.

It's almost enough to make a jaded blogger shed a tear, watching the maturity - and proper taking advantage of a cynical PR situation - unfold before us. I mean, yes, we all know that they'll do something within the next few days to cock it up, but for now, let's just enjoy the moment.

Speaking of which
The latest roll out of #smfc4aleague propaganda is #smfc4wleague, as seen in this article. And it's not just mealy mouthed statements - serious recruiting for WNPL, eight women's/men's double headers, joint men's and women's training sessions - it's like this very traditional, conservative club has instead of trying out baby steps, has rather dived straight into the deep end. This could be fun,

Joint men's and women's teams training session. Photo: Kevin Juggins.

Amble! Saunter!

Around the grounds
OBEY YOUR MASTER!
In a choice between the afternoon Sunshine George Cross and Moreland City match, and the later Avondale and St Albans fixture, I decided on the earlier, closer, more public transport friendly affair. Also, it's useful to kid oneself that the kilometre or so round trip from the bus stop on Durham Road to Chaplin Reserve counts as meaningful exercise. Still, walking past the traffic lights outside Chaplin Reserve, past a guy sitting in an old bomb blasting Master of Puppets made all the effort worthwhile - which is more than can be said for the match itself. Moreland City is, allegedly, a title contender, and they dominated play insofar as they had more of the ball and territorial advantage - not that they looked likely to do anything with it. Sunshine George Cross is, allegedly, a relegation fancy, and perhaps lucky that Bendigo 'insert latest name of incarnation here' are also in their side of NPL 2. George Cross came closest to scoring for both sides - in the first half, a header from a corner almost ended up scoring an own goal - only a save from the Sunshine keeper kept it out. In the second half, a goal mouth scramble should have seen George Cross open the scoring, but to no avail. So it ended scoreless.

Just on that point: I am getting sick and tired of every team in the NPL and NPL 2 playing one up front. If either side here had the daring to give their front man some support, they probably would have won this game. Look, if we're being honest, I'm turning up to Chaplin Reserve these days just to see it die. I don't want to see it die, and I will miss the sight of metro and country trains rolling by, but die it will, even if it is taking its sweet time in doing so. Yes, I do plan to be there again next week for what will hopefully be the actual final senior game there ever. Surely this John Farnham style farce can't go on for much longer (June I'm now told, which means the social club will be finished before then). Not every game can be livened up by conversations with Trent Rixon on the sidelines, asking where my little Asian buddy was - hey Gains, you're famous!

Final thought
I hear that the negotiations for that south-eastern suburbs/Dandenong corridor A-League bid got a bit heated on Saturday afternoon (not that any of that matters).

Cockatoos! Mornington 1 South Melbourne 6

I wasn't stupid enough to haul myself out to Dallas Brooks Park on a Monday night for a pre-season friendly. According to SMFCMike's Twitter reportage:

• The game was two 45 minute halves.
• Starting lineup was Roganovic, Konstantinidis, Adams, Piergianni, Mala, Pavlou, De Niese, Daley, Marafioti, Minopoulos, Kecojevic.
• Goals for us were Minopoulos (x2), Epifano, Lujic, Millar, Schroen.
• Highlight was cockatoos.

Next game, including live stream details
As I have already complained about numerous times, we open our league season against Bulleen at the Veneto Club on Monday night.

For those who cannot or who choose not to make the trek out there, there will be a live video stream on the NPL Victoria Facebook page.

Farewell hooped socks

Check out our exclusive launch video of our new @pumafootball playing kit for the 2017 #PS4NPLVIC season. pic.twitter.com/xZ43WE4oEw

— South Melbourne FC (@smfc) February 6, 2017

Also, you'll need to wait a bit until you can buy these. Speaking of which.

Memberships
We have all been assured that they will be coming out this week.

Not that any of that matters just yet
This week the draw for the NPL national playoff series was held. The result of that draw will see the team that finishes on top of the NPL Victoria ladder at the end of the 2017 season play the equivalent NPL Western Australia side in Western Australia in the NPL national playoffs. I am mentioning this only, or rather mostly, to put the final nail in the coffin of a stupid rumour that was started by 'someone' around the time of the last AGM, and which has still kind of persisted even though it was refuted by eminent persons, or just regular persons, take your pick.

By the way, I really wanted to link to that scene in Death in Brunswick we're they're stomping on the coffin inside the grave, but youtube has failed us on that front, providing only links to the trailer. Which reminds me, I was in a coffin once, and not a very comfortable one I might add.

Around the grounds
Too early in the season to be jaded; too hot not to be jaded
After the unveiling of the Ferenc Puskas statue I headed out to Campbell Reserve to see Moreland City vs Werribee City in the opening round of the NPL 2 season. The man at the gate tried to sell me tickets to the raffle, but the prizes were too A-League oriented, and I told him as much. There was a hive of activity around the ground, as small shade tents had been erected behind the goals, a media gantry was in place, and even a new electronic scoreboard. Sadly the scoreboard froze eight minutes and seventeen seconds into the first half. Trent Rixon, suspended for this match after getting frustrated with a bloke doing 'too many Maradona turns', was one of many notable onlookers in this game, along with George Donikian (who was also at the statue unveiling) and a number of South of the Border well wishers. As for the game itself, a largely dull, grinding affair, only in part due to the heat. Moreland scored first, and Werribee scored second, against the run of play, After the game, I saw the route 1 tram wait through about six or ten traffic light cycles because of people in cars who wanted to turn right onto Moreland Road. I hate those people so much.

Final thought
Yes, I will be writing about the Ferenc Puskas statue at some point (either on here or for another website), hopefully soon, but I really want to nail this one properly, because of the sheer absurdity of the whole situation.

Judge, jury, executioner - Kiss of Death, Round 2, 2014

Pascoe Vale vs Melbourne Knights – Friday 28th March, 8.30pm, Hosken Reserve
The Knights had an excellent result at home to Northcote City last round. Northcote played the suspended Trent Rixon, and as expected nothing has been done (more below). Covarrubias was the star of the show and missed a penalty which would’ve been his hattrick. Should he have taken the penalty? Some say yes, others say no because it put the Knights into a bit of a shit. I for one would say yes. He was on a high, and who better to take a penalty that a player whose adrenaline is going through the roof at that moment. I have been privately mocked via email about my prediction that the Knights will do well this year and probably end up winning it. But to those emails I say a big FUCK YOU. I’m the KOD and you’re fucking not. Pascoe Vale surprised me as to how poor they were last round at Hume. This unfortunately will continue this week. Pascoe Vale 1 – Melbourne Knights 3.

Oakleigh Cannons vs Heidelberg United – Friday 28th March, 8.30pm, Jack Edwards Reserve
Oakleigh struggled up at Goulburn Valley last round. The home side had their chances but never took them. Un-fucking-lucky I say to that. Oakleigh got the all important early goal and came away with the three points in the bag. The Bergers were woeful against South. Actually, worse than woeful, pretty shit, the Bergers we all know pretty shit. They were a rabble. Unorganised at the back, slow in the midfield and poor up front. Their squad is about four years old. What I mean by this is, Katsakis has built a squad of has-beens who played their best football about 4-5 years ago. The Greek derby somewhat, with a crowd of about 300 people expected. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Heidelberg United 1.

Goulburn Valley vs Ballarat Red Devils – Saturday 29th March, 6.30pm,  McEwen Reserve
The Willy Wonka derby. The golden ticket winners. This match is of no interest to me whatsoever. Who can really be necked giving a preview of this shit. Fingers crossed the game gets postponed and the Devils have to make it back to Ballarat in that ‘Gold Bus’ that takes them everywhere, two weeks in a row! Goulburn Valley 2 – Ballarat Red Devils 4.

Dandenong Thunder vs Green Gully – Saturday 29th March, 7pm, George Andrews
The game to be at on Saturday night. Did Dandy struggle against Port, or did Port struggle against Dandy? That is the question here. Can I answer it? Yes I can. Will I answer it? No I won’t. CBF majorly. Anyhoo, Dandy is looking OK I suppose. Much improvement needed if they are going to be any real threat this year. Gully had an easy match at home to Werribee City. Two goals each side of the break was enough to discard of the Bees. Good result as Werribee are an unknown quantity at the moment. But Gully as always are looking good. Dandenong Thunder 1 – Green Gully 1.

Werribee City vs Hume City – Sunday 30th Match, 3pm, Galvin Park
Is Werribee out of their depth this season? Yes, after one match I can confirm that Werribee is in fact out of their depth. They will drown very quickly. Green Gully attached the anchor, and Hume will drop them off the NPL ship. This will all end in tears for Werribee on Sunday. Hume will absolutely hammer them. I will be at this match. Hume is looking good. I sacked the intel guy who told me before round 1 that they are a rabble. I’ve employed a new guy and he has given me the heads up that Hume will be strong. After running some complex algorithms I have come to the conclusion that the score will be Werribee City 0 – Hume City 5.

Northcote City vs Bentleigh Greens – Sunday 30th March, 3pm, John Cain Memorial Park
Northcote played a suspended Rixon last round, and no I will not let it rest until some integrity is brought back into this competition. What a shambles. Good to see they still lost at Somers Street. Absolute rabble of a team so far. My sources tell me that they are a shadow of last season's team and it will take them some time to gel. Bentleigh on the other hand is yet to play after their match against the Devils was postponed due to bad weather. My sources tell me that there will be two A-League scouts at this match. I know who they will be looking at, but I cannot say it yet. I will release this info once I’m given the green light. *hint, not the blue one* Northcote City 1 – Bentleigh Greens 1.

Port Melbourne Sharks vs South Melbourne HELLAS – Friday 28th March, 8.30pm, JL Murphy Reserve
What a match this will be. Expect a sellout. Get to the game early as parking is very limited. Have your FFV passes to piss off the ticket guys. FFS if I get harassed one more fucking time by the old guys at the gate about my FFV pass, I will be lodging an official complaint with the FFV. What don’t you people get? An FFV pass gets you entry for FREE. Just because you have no fans and your wage bill is excessive, does not mean we need to pay. The pass holders are guests of the FFV and shall be treated as such. End rant. Port Melbourne let a two goal lead slip against Dandy last round. HAHAHA, jokes of the highest order! South on the other hand is a team to be envious of. We held our 0-3 lead at the Bergers and should’ve had more. South is a team oozing talent. South is a team everyone wants to be a part of. South has the best playing surface, best facilities, best coach, best board, best fans, best scoreboard, best forum, best kit, best backoffice staff, best phone number, best location, best president, best merchandise guy, best running track, best grandstand, best barcode scanner, best ex-board members, best TV show, best radio show, Oceania team of the Century and fucking excellent porn knowledge amongst its fans! We know a porno when we see one! Port Melbourne 0 – South Melbourne 5.

FFV and their suspensions list.
I received an email last week, and after confirming the details, issued a stop press to all media outlets in regards to Trent Rixon of Northcote being suspended yet playing against the Knights. If the carry over suspensions list is looked at here (bottom of pg 15), one will see that Trent Rixon was in fact supposed to be serving a carry over suspension from a match between Northcote City and South Melbourne at the end of last year. Now all the sooks on soccer-forum came up with the wildest excuses:

• It’s the NPL not FFV, that means it doesn’t count.
• Get over yourself and you obsession with Northcote.
• We rang the federation and they said he’s good to play.

Blah, blah, blah. Well to all you I say, let’s look at the FFV’s GDT. Let’s look specifically at Section 8.2 (b) & (c).

• (b) In the case of all Suspensions until the Suspension is served a Club Associate must not participate in any other fixture at any level in FFV competitions. This shall be inclusive of suspensions that are not totally served in any given competition season which will need to be carried over and served in future and/or subsequent seasons respectively.

and

• (c) A Suspension arising out of a Finals Series which is not served in full in that Finals Series shall be carried over to the following competition season in which the Club Associate participates. 

Both the above clauses relate to this case. So after all the twittering and re-twittering last week of this incident, has the FFV done anything about it? Unfortunately, no. This just throws the integrity of the competition into disarray. Some dicks were saying “it’s up to the Knights to lodge a protest”. Yes, you’re right, however, what is the whole point of having discipline in a competition when it’s not implemented by the federation which wrote the rules? Why is it the responsibility of the other team? That is just bat shit crazy. Hypothetically speaking, and by God, I hope this happens, teams can get together, make a gentleman's agreement that both will play suspended players, and neither will lodge a protest regardless of result, and the FFV does nothing about it. Pretty fucking sweet competition if you ask me. 

Kiss of Death - Stop Press! Trent Rixon carry over suspension.

Remember this article? And then this one? Well the Kiss of Death, who unlike myself is in the habit of viewing the weekly suspension sheets, noticed something unusual.


I received an email today, very interesting to say the least.

After a browse of the carry over suspension list located here, I discovered that Northcotes Trent Rixon is currently suspended. He gained this suspension in last year's Northcote City v South Melbourne finals match at Port Melbourne.

13/10/2013 RIXON,Trent South Melbourne FC Men's Victorian Premier League

Y2 Automatic Game Accumulation of two (2) yellow cards in a Finals Series 

1 game Suspension

Therefore, Trent Rixon should not have played against the Knights.

Therefore, Northcote City fielded an ineligible player.

Therefore, Northcote City must face the penalty.

Kiss of Death back for another season - Round 1, 2014

NPL: National Pathetic Leagues.

Am I a fan of them you ask? Well what sort of fucked up question is that? Can't you tell by the title? Joke of the highest order. If the FFA was a comedian, people would pay money to have a laugh. These people have lost the fucken plot. Who thinks up this shit. Like really, hello, there was nothing wrong with the original system, which has been working around the world since Jesus was a full back for the Jericho Jackhammers.

The Kiss of Death casts an eye over the competition.

Some douche has come along tax payer funded and all, and said this is how you will improve football in this country. Like fuck off already you Dutch cunts. You clowns have never been successful and have always flopped at international level. To give you an idea of how stupid this thing is, you will now read my season review of the Victorian NPL. Fuck my life. Like I don't have better things to do with my time than research clubs in the lower leagues who have bought themselves a golden ticket into the big time. Willy Wonka-ish and all.

NPL Victoria will consist of 14 teams this season, 12 who have earned their way through promotion, and two who have bought their way in. Those two being Goulburn Valley Suns and the other, Ballarat Red Devils. The Suns are located in Shepparton. Played as part of their local league. Weak as piss of a league. Good for the farmers up there to give their fruit pickers some entertainment. That's about all I know.

The Red Devils for the last four or so years have been stuck in State 2 North West. Used to be a great team, games shown on the local WIN 9 station up there, used to get big crowds. Slowly dwindled towards the end, and last year they were just absolutely shit. So shit in fact that they went from a top three State 2 team to State 3! Crowds dwindled to barely anything, they stopped the coffee van coming, and they even took chips and gravy off the menu. That is where I lost all respect for them. Ballarat is however, hillbilly central. The rest of the teams are last years standard VPL with the addition of Werribee City who got promotion into this league. Fair enough. But still shit.

Heidelberg United vs South Melbourne
Which dickhead launches the season at 7:15pm on a Thursday night? No jokes, I'm being legit. Either way, expect a pathetic crowd of Bergers, a decent crowd of South fans, and a South win. Have seen neither team this year so far. South has recruited well, and the Bergers somewhat. I don’t care about the Bergers. Heidelberg 0 – South Melbourne 3.

Port Melbourne vs Dandy Thunder
Too early to tell how Dandy will go, but Port will struggle this season. Have lost plenty of players due to the capping of the squads. Not much coming through. Dandy hasn’t done too bad in the recruitment stakes, and from their 3-3 draw with Hume last week, they are looking pretty good. Port Melbourne 1 – Dandy Thunder 2.

Melbourne Knights vs Northcote City
Northcote has got Trent Rixon back after his holiday at South. Northcote suit him as only 20 or so people watch them, and always clap regardless of result. South was too much for Trent. The Knights will have a good shot at winning the thing this year. Expect sueprising and consistent results. Melbourne Knights 2 – Northcote City 1.

Bentleigh Greens vs Ballarat Red Devils
Bentleigh is another team who will suffer due to the points system. The limits of visa players will severely limit their chances of a good hit out. It will back to the Bentleigh of old that we all know. The Red Devils, ah the Devils. Who gives a flying fuck. Bentleigh Greens 3 – Ballarat Red Devils 0.

Goulburn Valley vs Oakleigh Cannons
This game will be a good yardstick for the rest of the league. If the Cannons go to Shepparton and lose, then the others need to worry. If they come back with a win, then we can all have a giggle at the FFV. Goulburn Valley 0 – Oakleigh Cannons 8.

Hume City vs Pasoce Vale
Hume ain't looking too good. I doubt they will ever look good this season. Will finish in the bottom half. Pascoe Vale will continue being a thorn in everyone's side. The team you love to hate. Hume City 0 – Pascoe Vale 2

Green Gully vs Werribee City
Green Gully to run out convincing winners. Green Gully 6 – Werribee City 0

South of the Border Awards 2013

Hmm. Is it worth doing a season review? Probably not. You can just go back and read about what happened in the usual way.

In a blog full of self-indulgence, this is just about the most self-indulgent of posts. A person who has never played the game, who can barely make out what's going on the field, and even if he could, is usually too apoplectic with rage to make any useful judgments anyway.

Which is just another way of saying it's time for the 2013 South of the Border Awards. For previous editions of this mini-extravaganza, see this link.

Player of the year: It could have gone to Pete Gavalas for his massive turnaround in form. It could have gone to Brian Bran for being our best over the second half of the year. It could have gone to Tyson Holmes for being a thorn in Steve From Broady's side. But this award has never followed any sort of logical decision making process, and we're not about to start now.

Trent Rixon gets my vote in 2013 because when he finally got fit, he showed us not only the form which saw the club bring him over in the first place by scoring several goals, but he also displayed a joyful combativeness up front. For the first time since he made the move from Northcote, he looked like he was actually enjoying being at and playing for South - the highlight being his celebration with statsman Steve from Broady away at Port Melbourne.

Under 21 player of the year: The Cliff Hussey Memorial Trophy (this year selected by Steve From Broady) goes to Baggio Yousif. I'm not going to disagree with that.

Goal of the year: Ljubo Milicevic. Now, unlike last year, there were several brilliant/crazy/timely goals scored in 2013. Andy Vlahos' belter of a free kick at home against Green Gully. Soolsma's free kick at home against Hume City. Holmes' overhead at home against Richmond, or Hopper's excellent control in the away fixture against Richmond. Either of Fernando's goals against Preston in the cup, for the pure emotion of it if not the execution.

But for the way the planets aligned for Ljubo's own goal, I couldn't bring myself to award it anyone else. His return to Lakeside, finally playing for the club he apparently supported as a kid, South down 2-1 due to some comical defending, and the out of absolutely nothing, Ljubo heads it into his own net, and the South fans start chanting his name. It was a lot of a fun.

Best performance: Hmm. The win against Northcote in the Dockerty Cup was pretty epic. The win against Bentleigh away was awesome. But I'm going to go with Green Gully away in round 1. Seriously, I was happy to have the season end right there and then. We killed them from start to finish and nothing went wrong at all. See in you in another 27 years when it happens again.

Best away game of the year: Melbourne Knights semi-final. It had to be something special to beat our first away win at Gully since 233 BCE or whenever it was. Without any intentional disrespect against all the other clubs, that night against our old foe Melbourne Croatia, it felt like we were in a real league, playing against a real team. They even booed our goal! When was the last time that happened? And what a beautiful smash and grab win it was. Pure joy.

Call of the year:
"Hey goalkeeper, you look like a highlighter!" (David, host of SMFC TV), said during the cup match against Northcote, in reference to their goalkeeper's get up of fluoro green jersey and shorts with black socks.

Runners up:

• "There are ten players out there for South called 'cunt' and one called 'Andy' (Vlahos)" (Ian Syson, Southern Stars at home)
• "He went down like he ate a hot dog from Green Gully" (Steve From Broady, during the under 21s game at home to Green Gully)

Chant of the year: "You're supposed to be in church!", Oakleigh home match. There were a couple of other contenders, especially late on in the season, such as:

"Dodgy Asian Betting, Now We're In The Finals!" (Gully final)

and

"Our social club
Does not exist
Our social club does not exist
It's got no door, and no window
Our social club does not exist" (Northcote final)

But the winner had a certain, je ne sais quoi to it.

Best after match dinner location: Man, I missed a lot of these this season, and there were a lot of disappointing affairs here. Chief among the disappointing places were that trendy ramen place on Lonsdale Street (bland, bland, bland), and the deplorable Coconut House (except for the incredible soy milk). So, almost by default, it goes to Thai Deli again, for their Pad Thai. Good to support a local South Melbourne business as well.

Friends we lost along the way:  The Brunswick City souv. Our FFV media pass holder status.  Our position of being somewhere about fifth or sixth in line for news that 'you can't tell anyone, seriously'. I think we're about 23rd in line now, behind the Cypriot peanut man who they don't let in the ground, but still ahead of Michael Lynch. Small mercies and all that.

Barely related to anything highlight stupidity of the year:  We have to go right back to the start of the season. I'd given Gains and Steve from Broady a lift to Green Gully Reserve, as is my custom. Now, we were all in agreement, based on many previous experiences, that you do not eat the food at Green Gully, except possibly the hot jam doughnuts, because even Green Gully couldn't manage to fuck those up, surely?

So anyway, we won the game, we were all happy, and it was time to go home. Now, if you've never driven Steve from Broady anywhere, you should know two things are likely to happen. Firstly, he'll try and tell enough stupid stories that will make you laugh until you black out and crash into an oncoming truck. Secondly, he will pummel you with so many crackpot theories or stupid questions that eventually you'll just ask him to shut the fuck up already.

Well, we hadn't even got out of the car park yet (an ordeal in itself at Green Gully) before he's already worn my patience thin by asking a really daft question. I abused the fuck out of him for doing so, and then he was very quiet all the way home. So quiet, that I actually felt really bad about the whole situation.

Well, a few months later, upon reminiscing about that drive home in a conversation, Steve casually mentions that he wasn't quiet because of the abuse I'd dished out. No, he was quiet on the ride home because he felt sick as a dog, and was very close to throwing up. And why was he close to throwing up? Because against everyone's experience and advice, including his own, he'd had a Green Gully hot dog.

That's your expert food reviewer right there.

Back To Earth - Dandenong Thunder 3 South Melbourne 0

And now we cross to our man in Dandenong for match reports on both the senior and under 21 matches against Thunder.

Steve from Broady's senior match review 

South Melbourne played at a soulless George Andrews Reserve this week due to the five home game lockout punishment handed down to Dandenong Thunder by the FFA and FFV. There was an extremely strong wind during the game, with goal kicks blowing back to the goal keeper, making conditions very uncomfortable for the players.

South Melbourne kicked with the wind in the first half and had a few opportunities to score but failed to hit the target. Instead it was Dandenong Thunder kicking against the wind who opened the scoring in the 25th minute when Foster played a ball across the goal and Shaun Kelly turned it into his own net. As the half came to an end with Dandy leading 1-0, South had wasted their chance kicking with the wind and it looked a very hard road to come back from for South.

South tried to get into the game at the start of the second half, but struggled to break down a Dandy defence which looked happy to sit on their one goal lead. In the 77th minute South got caught on the counter and went 2-0 behind. Kelly was lucky to stay on the pitch at the end when he went through a Dandy player late while already on a yellow card but the ref resisted pulling out the red. In the last minute Foster put south out of their misery scoring a nice solo counter goal to give Dandenong Thunder a solid 3-0 win and capped off a bad day for South in the hard to play in conditions.

Now that's commitment. Several fans watched the match from behind the back fence. Photographer unknown.

Steve from Broady's under 21s Match Report
On Saturday afternoon South Melbourne under 21s took on Dandenong Thunder at George Andrews Reserve. South were coming of two good away wins and were top of the table after three rounds. South had a massive boost with Trent Rixon and Tom Matthews both in the starting eleven. Rixon was having his first real chance at some game time for 2013 after he had surgery on his injured hip at the end of last season and Mathews was coming back from a broken arm.

Dandenong kicked off the stronger of the two teams in the early stages of the match, but in the sixth minute South was awarded a free kick on the edge of the area. The ball was swung into the mixer and headed home by The Rixer who towered above the Dandy defence to give South an early 1-0 lead. After South took the lead they created s6me more chances to go 2-0 up, with Anthony Giannopoulos making some good runs off Rixon.

But that didn't last too long, and after a while Dandenong started to dominate again and were rewarded in the 14th minute when their captain stood up and made the most of a goal line scramble to level the scores and 22 minutes later the Dandy captain had another chance to score from a goal mouth scramble and didn't disappoint, converting his second goal of the afternoon.

The lads went into the sheds at half time with Dandenong Thunder leading 2-1. At the start of the second half South lost the ball immediately and paid for it with Dandenong running the ball down their end of the pitch and converting after 48 minutes - after that goal went in to put Dandy 3-1 ahead the game started to die down. South got themselves back in the game in the 79th minute when Sebit Muon broke clear of the Dandy defence and buried the ball into the back of the net to make the score 3-2. This continued Muon's good start to the season, finding himself on the score sheet regularly.

Just as South thought they had a chance at a draw and maybe even a win Dandy ran the ball down their end and scored an excellent solo effort goal sealing South's fate. The game finished 4-2 to Dandenong, but there were some positives to take out of the game with Tom Mathews playing a full match on his comeback from injury and Trent Rixon getting on the score sheet for the first time in 2013. South Melbourne's under 21s next league game is against Richmond at Lakeside Stadium in two weeks, until then GET AROUND IT!!!

Steve from Broady's Canteen Review
Since Saturday's game was behind closed doors, I was unable to try any food from the Dandenong canteen and I only see it fit that they get disqualified from the VPL canteen championship. Better luck next year lads.

1. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
2. Southern Stars 2/10
3. Green Gully 1/10
4. Dandenong Thunder DQ

Around the Grounds
With a Friday night match last round, and no access to the venue this week - and no desire to watch our match at $29 for a stock standard chicken parma Beachcomber - there was plenty of around the grounds action to take in.

First up was a trip to John Cain Memorial Park/Reserve to watch the two other sides with perfect records up until that moment. The Melbourne Knights opened the scoring in the first minute, but that was as good as their afternoon got. Northcote equalised a minute later, and had a 3-1 lead at half time, with the third goal being scored right at the end of the half. The Knights missed a sitter at 3-1 down, before Northcote added a couple more to make a sure thing of it.

Rubbing salt into the wound, the Knights also had a penalty saved at 5-1 down. They were pretty poor, with no midfield presence worth mentioning. Northcote were OK without being anything flash. They could have scored a few more, but who wouldn't take a 5-1 win before kick off?

On Friday I went and saw Richmond at home to Northcote. Richmond were a rabble, structures all over the shop and a rampaging Northcote hungry for goals found them in spades. 7-2 it finished to Hercules, who though may have played some weaker opposition this season, have at least been able to put most of them to the sword, ans sixteen goals in four matches in not something to sneeze at.

Even more disappointingly for Richmond, what was the best canteen in the league has gone down the toilet. No more cakes; they seem to have changed their kransky supplier to a significantly inferior product; and they're offering pizza and gyros now. The pizza was reportedly cold, the souvlaki 'so-so'. Richmond were great for quality and value, and they did it by focusing on doing a few things and doing them very well. Now they're doing a billion things and doing them pretty much all poorly.

Lastly, headed out to Paisley Park to watch Altona East and Ballarat Red Devils, two struggling State League 2 North-West teams. East managed to score one early, and score one late, enough for their first win of the season. It was a pretty dire game in between those goals though, and there's only so much you can blame

Next Week
Next week South are at Lakeside for the first time this season, with a Dockerty Cup match against Oakleigh. The match is provisionally scheduled for Saturday, though the time has not been confirmed as of yet.

Rixon suspension downgraded; Tsolakis suspended for two

News from the tribunal hearing is that Trent Rixon had his 12 match suspension reduced to six weeks - making him eligible to return for the round 22 match against Heidelberg. Coach 'Gus' Tsolakis (as he was listed on the tribunal hearing notice; nice one FFV) got two weeks and a fine of $1000.

I suppose we should be happy that we didn't come out of it worse than we came into it. First time for everything.

Rixon suspended for 12 matches

So, the FFV has handed down severe punishment on Trent Rixon, for his attack on Richmond's Milardovic, who came out of their heated encounter (after Rixon's goal to make it 2-1) with a broken cheekbone. Can't say I'm surprised with the FFV's response.

One of the risks with getting Rixon was that he's no stranger to the serious red card. What effect, if any, this will have on his future at South remains to be seen - if he stays, he'll miss the first five games of next season, maybe less if we somehow score an unlikely finals place.

It'll be an even more unlikely feat to make the finals not just because of our poor form and/or erratic form, but because we're low on strikers - having already let go of Gianni De Nittis, and losing Dimi Hatzimouratis to injury for the rest of the season. Andy Vlahos may have to pinch hit further up the field. Or maybe bring in Nicky Jacobs in from the cold?

It appears as if the club intends to appeal the decision. I'd be interested in seeing their angle, and what good the video will do. The only possible positive thing to come out of this, is that Trent may get the opportunity to rest his body and hopefully get on track to overcome his chronic groin/osteitis pubis condition before next season.

There goes Fortress Lakeside - South Melbourne 1 Melbourne Knights 2

Every South loss hurts. Does this one hurt more than the others? I'd say yes, except the VPL era South is turning into a blur of disappointment and battle fatigue, interspersed with only occasional moments of joy.

Is that too depressing, melodramatic, maudlin and self-pitying? I'll get back to you after we start stringing some wins together, maybe win a title.

Chants
'Worst steward ever'

I thought it was a little harsh.

Dropkicks of the evening
The two young MCF boys who planted themselves on the fence in front of Clarendon Corner at the start of both halves. Trying to bait them with adolescent one liners and Nazi salutes. Happy to say that it didn't work, in part perhaps because their credibility was lessened with one of them holding a bottle of Sprite. Very hardcore.

From Despair to Where?
It's a lousy song. But if I was on the internet five minutes after the game, instead of after a few hours of quiet contemplation, watching Lakeside the soccer venue being packed away, maybe I'd be one of those people as well.

Gains
Going overseas for a couple of weeks. Will miss two, maybe three games. Have a good trip, buddy.

Improvement
It was a very disappointing loss. Having said that, after not really doing anything for 40 minutes, we woke up and started playing some not bad football - probably the best we've looked going forward in about six weeks, and I think there's improvement yet to be had - we are getting more direct, we are starting to play through balls earlier and go wide, but it's not quite where it should be.

Well done to the Knights, they rode their luck a little, but they took their limited chances, while we didn't make the most of ours. We've got to work harder off the ball, and we've got to defend better as a unit, and we've got to be on the ball from the first minute of the game, not half way through. No point dropping heads when you turn the ball over in midfield, you have to track back, and mean it.

It's not a perfect squad, but it's a good squad, and there's nothing there that can't be fixed. I suspect though, that holding such an opinion will make me a bit of an island for at least this week.

Joryeff
Must be close to getting a start, surely.

Matko Budimir
Not too bad yesterday.

Luke Byles
So far, without doubt, our player of the season.

Need More Greeks!
When all else fails, someone always has to pull out that pearler. Never mind that Gavalas, Hatzimouratis, Tsiaras and Gasparis all started yesterday.

Next Week
Dandenong Thunder. Seven game winning streak to start the season Dandenong Thunder. Seven game winning streak to start the season and the only goal they've copped was the dodgiest penalty of all time Dandenong Thunder. Away from home. The immediate panic button pushing part of me says we're doomed. The other part, which I like to keep hidden away, says that there's no time like the present. Maybe being the underdog for once will help. Maybe not.

Pleasantville
Not a bad little flick. Toby Maguire is very earnest in it though. But that's Toby Maguire for ya, I suppose.

Referees
You have to wonder sometimes.

Steve from Broady's Positive Spin
Me: I'm going to need your positive spin this week.
Steve: Fuck you, Paul.

Stewardship
After making my steward/marshal's debut during the Altona East reserves last week, I was hastily promoted to the big league yesterday. The longtime stewards are getting old, and we need fresh blood. If you're interested, contact the club. I don't mind doing it most weeks, but it'd be nice if we have a rotational system going.

Trent Rixon
If he is injured, get him to have a week or two off. There's still two thirds of the season to go, and excluding the Thunder, most of the finals chasers are pretty bunched up.

Yusef Yusef and the Case of the Rose Coloured Glasses
The former South player tore apart our defence for the Knights' second goal, leading some to wonder 'what if'. Now without wishing to denigrate 'Yuey', we should recall his time with us, a time when downhill skiing was king, and our squad's main claim to fame was that they were 'good off the bench'.

And let's not forget that it was Yusef² who was beaten defensively on our left, leading to the cross which created our goal. As Heidelberg Harismidis said to my buddy Gains a few weeks ago at a bus stop in Thornbury, 'it's about balance, Yin and Yang, you know what I'm talking about'

Zenith
Ended up with Steve from Broady at the new Hungry Jack's at Spencer Street Station eating cheeseburgers. That's a genuine new low.

Friday Night Farce - South Melbourne 0 Southern Stars 2

That was pretty dispiriting stuff. Here's this week's rundown.

Advice on Nutritional Supplements for Athletes
Valium is probably not the right thing to be taking before a match.

Beanies
They're navy blue as opposed to our more traditional royal blue (but since there's no official national blue on the Greek flag, it kinda fits that we chop and change), but they're a good size, and when your head is cold and you've somehow lost your previous much loved beanie somewhere on the corner of Kevin Bartlett Reserve and Night Time Junkie Boulevard, you hand over $15 and shut up.

Chants
When you're playing as poorly as we were last Friday, the gimmick chants come out thick and fast, and why not? Pretty much the only worthwhile thing to come out of the game

'You only sing about kebabs'

'Souvlaki's better than kebabs'

'We love our gimmicks when we're losing'

Credit Where It's Due
Everyone predicted that Southern Stars would come out and stack the defence, and while that was certainly true once they were 2-0 up, they had a good 25 odd minutes at the beginning of the match where their clear and simple game plan - which is not a criticism - was working well for them. So well, that they should have scored early on.

At times they strolled past our midfield, who didn't even know how to jockey or hold them up. They played to their strengths, and looked less like a team that was headed straight down from whence they came, than one that would comfortably avoid relegation even if they weren't in finals contention.

Friday Nights
I don't mind them - the stadium looked magnificent under lights, but it's not good for the kids apparently - once again we have to pander to families, even though single people are the largest demographic in the country. We have one more Friday night home game left this season, but I have a hunch we won't be seeing them much next year, if at all.

Gallows Humour
One supporter mentioned to me after the game, that one day we'll probably score the greatest tap in goal of all time.

It's a reminder that at the end of the day, we are playing football, not gymnastics. There's no bonus points for perfect landings, extra twists or degrees of difficulty.

The aforementioned greatest goal of all time will still count the same as every other goal. I'm sure Trent Rixon and his possible probable internet alter ego would agree.

Game Plan

Are we going for the VPL title or a Nobel Prize?

Speaking of style over substance, where's the beef?

Rumour has it that Gus Tsolakis' whiteboard inside our rooms is full of ink. Slathered in it, apparently, so one can scarcely make head or tail of it.

Now, tactics and playing style are important, but it is possible to over think the game, to walk before you can crawl.

There's something to be said for the almost Zen quote attributed to Melbourne Croatia great Josip Biskic: 'put ball in goal'. (from the infamous 'Australian Soccer This Is Your Life' list).

We have one of, if not the widest field in the league. We have the best surface in the league. Yet, we seek to inch perfect football, trying to place passes on dimes, as if we we're playing on a field with the dimensions of a futsal court.

Positive Spin, with Steve from Broady
He's been so demoralised by recent performances that he's gone back to eating Maccas, even after he said he'd quit. His 'Positive Spin' segment has struggled to get off the ground, and yet this should be his milieu.

So I'm just going to do it for him to get him started, by putting into the digital sphere at least one of his utterances about that game. The best he could come up with was that there's always next week. Before adding, we'll get smashed five or six-nil.

I sometimes worry about the effect I've had on him.

Silver Surfers
Rumour has it that the players chose to wear the silver away strip at home because they viewed it as some sort of good luck charm.

Here's how it works, boys. We are blue, and we are white. They are our home colours, and our away colours when there's no clash.

And another thing, I know athletes of all stripes are superstitious gits, but the bottom line is make your own luck. If we're relying on particular to get us over the line, we're stuffed.

True Supporters
What an elusive concept. A lot of abuse was directed at the players and the game plan, especially after the game. Some of it was completely over the top, however , did the players expect to be clapped off?

There are other clubs where people will be satisfied with a good effort, or who will clap their team off regardless of the result. This isn't one of those clubs.

Trent Rixon got fired up, and started dishing out some of his own abuse at the end of the game. Can't fault his efforts during the game, as he looks to be playing at considerably lower than full fitness - a pity though that the same urgency wasn't apparent in the rest of the team.

A woman at the end of the game had the gumption to yell out that those supporters should be ashamed of themselves, that they weren't true supporters. And while, as noted above, that the abuse was sometimes over the top, her assertion really annoyed me.

Since our demotion from the national spotlight, our supporter base has been decimated. Now I'm not arguing for allowing an anything goes approach, whereby no one gets banned, or sanctioned.

But accusing people who've been at just about every game and every ground in this part of our history, of not being true fans, is just ridiculous.

Who made the 16 hour round trips by bus to Canberra to watch a goalless 80 minute match?

Who makes up the 50-100 diehards at a freezing Epping Stadium night match?

When there's no glory of point left at the tail end of another wasted season, who's making the trip to Western Suburbs to watch the youth players get a gig to save on wages??

When the rain and wind bites cold, and the away support is huddled together on the muddy Anderson Road hill at Chaplin Reserve, are you there? Or are you at home in front of the heater, with nary a thought about the match?

And the blather about people being brought back to the club, and being appalled by such behaviour, and therefore never coming back, is nonsense. People like that are soft, and looking for any excuse to avoid going to South matches. Of course, similar behaviour at an A-League or AFL match doesn't prevent them from making repeat visits.

Assuming also that some of these players have ambition of playing in higher ranked leagues, they better get used to dealing with that kind of scrutiny. If they can't handle 20 odd angry men, how will they cope with a few hundred?

The flip side to copping such abuse, is that when the players do good, or at the very least leave nothing out on the pitch, we will shower them with praise. Witness the defence, then praise of the players at the Oakleigh match this season.

We weren't in the game for half an hour, and we were being hacked to pieces as well. The supporters tried to encourage the players, and defend them from the ill-treatment in the only avenue open to them.

And when they came out in the second half and destroyed the home side with scintillating football, we cheered and admired their persistence and their performance, without reservation.

It's not fickleness per se; it's the natural emotional response from a segment of the faithful, some of whom, like myself, have nothing else worthwhile in their lives.

Zenith
I wish we could forget, but we can't. See all you true supporters at Epping on Friday.

Highlights from first two rounds of 2012

Roudn 1 vs Moreland



Round 2 vs Oakleigh

Trent Rixon officially signed up