Finally the answer to where we'll be relocating

Back in the day when me and Hunter S. Thompson were out in the Nevada badlands, on too much of whatever it was we'd taken - he wrote a book about it which you may have heard of, A Bear called Paddington - and we saw this neglected outpost of the world's second best sport, 43 man squamish. The rest of the trip was a bit of blur to be honest, and it's hard to tell what was factual and what was more factual. We always meant to go back and tidy it up, but since we didn't know how we got there in the first place, we let the moment pass.

 

Anyway, it was somewhat a surprise to then learn that improvements had been made to the ground in the past 40 odd years - and now that dustbowl boutique stadium is a virtual tropical biodome paradise. And with people freaking out about still not being told where we're going to play during our relocation away from Lakeside, it is my pleasure to announce that this stadium will be brought over here to Melbourne, ala the Famous Spiegeltent, and shipped from place to place to let people from all over Melbourne marvel at its sheer tremindosity. Who's footin' the bill you may ask? Well, the Victorian Government is of course. And the best bit is, only we get to use it. Marvelous, outstanding, crap. Normally I'm not for this kind of government spending wastage - esopecially when they could be funding more stuff like experimental theatre shows at public swimming pools. But you know what? Fuck it. This is the bare minimum we deserve. Because we are South Melbourne, the greatest club in the known universe, and everyone else can just shove if it they don't like it.

Well, there you go

A $3,500 fine in total, and a 3-0 loss.

Oh irony of ironies if Heidelberg avoid going down thanks to that; or if we miss out on finals, or double chance, or week off because of that point, or goal difference.

Found guilty or threatening behaviour/missiles et al, and bringing game into disrepute. Found not guilty for the running onto field and alleged lack of security.

Take what you can get and all that.

For the record Heidelberg Laser Dude cost his side $2,000.


EDIT

I mean, seriously, how did we not get fined or punished for the running on the field thing? Boy, did we get off relatively lightly. Beats me as to why. Not the end of it though methinks.

There's that scene in The Simpsons

in the Radioactive Man movie episode, where the nerds are trying to find out who's going to play Radioactive Man - I keep telling you, he's 73 years old and he's dead - and they have the one nerd underneath the producers table with his computer and listening device. That's where I wish I was with regards to the marathon hearing and deliberation session going. Instead I'm here. I've got to improve my networks.

Pet Hate Of The Month, April 2010

I know this blog could be described as pet hate of every month, week, day etc, but here's one that's been getting up my goat for a fair while - which is kinda topical seeing as we're probably going to get reamed at the tribunal tonight.


No one like us, we don't care.


But here's the thing - you do care. A lot. To bother coming up with a chant to show your indifference to your not being liked, or to borrow that chant, or to use it as a slogan of defiance, shows that you very much do care about what others think about you.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. But at least be honest about, and don't pretend that your feelins haven't been hurt by your enemies. The Zen thing to do, as is my understanding, would be to not resist the hate, but rather let it be and get on with your life.

And I'm not for one moment claiming this observation is in any way a stroke of genius. It was just something that was bugging me.

Croatian Duck Spectacular - Knights 0 South 1

 Photo: Gains.

A nice day, decent crowd, and a win where I thought we wouldn't get one. Joe Keenan with the only goal, a curled left foot shot around the Knights keeper. There's some people saying the Knights were lackluster, but I never saw that - I thought they moved the ball well enough, but weren't able to create enough gilt edged chances to justify a win - and some desperate defending by our boys, and a very solid game by Peter Zois helped a fair bit. For our part, I thought our first half was much better than our second. And we did create chances of our own, of a better quality than those of the Knights, if not quantity, and really, we should have added at least one more - we really need a striker - there's only so many goals we can score from midfield. Next up, Hume away on Anzac Day, which I fancy will be tougher than today's game, and to be played in much worse conditions.

It's about time

There's an elephant in the room - and Coveny on another coaching vacation isn't it. Enjoy what you can of this, because they haven't even given us the point yet. Carl Recchia and David Lugli do the chit chat business.

Tribunal hearing set for Wednesday 21st April

Check out the full list of alleged offences on the VPL's website. If you don't feel like reading, here's the gist. Four charges against us, two against the Bergers (laser pointing dude and Tilovki allegedly assaulting a fan). We've been charged with:

1. Physical objects being thrown and/or racial taunts
2. People who shouldn't have been on the field of play being omn the field of play
3. Alleged lack of security
4. Bringing the game into disrepute.

Tidy list there. Not sure how it will turn out, and I don't really want to second guess anything. Question is, when the judgements are handed down, what will be asked of the club and it's unruly 'associates'. Will they get the ban stick? Or will they be asked to make up for it in some way? The latest official South press release sheds some light on the matter. Some bannings in the pipeline it seems. Might be a good time to get out of the country for a bit. Probably a good thing I've ditched smfcboard too.

Kiss of Death, Round 7, 2010

What a week. Nevertheless, the world keeps turning, and the Kiss of Death keeps churning out its particular brand of wisdom. Enjoy.

Richmond vs Sunshine Georgies
Richmond to win this one 3-0. They had a tough task against the high flying Hume last week and got the draw as predicted by who else but me. Sunshine George Cross will not be able to absorb the constant pressure from Richmond this Friday night at Kevin Bartlett Reserve.

Green Gully Cavaliers vs Northcote City
I was suprised that Northcote didn't beat Sunshine George Cross last week. I was also suprised that Gully got up at Bentleigh. Therefore, using the formula of suprises, Gully to get this one 2-1.

Dandenong Thunder vs Bentleigh Greens
Funder to continue Bentleighs losing streak with a 2-1 win at Dandy. Loza to be walking on eggshells by the end of it all.

Heidelberg United vs Altona Magic
......and the winner is ? the peanut seller ! This game will finish in a 2-2 draw down at the village. On a sidenote, the chilli flakes in the canteen to be absolutely demolished.

Hume City vs Oakleigh Cannons
Choke, choke, choke, choke, choke, choke like Oakleigh, choke like Oakleigh! Forget it Jack Edwards heads. You're gonna lose this one too. The Knights should've beaten you 3/4-0. Hume WILL beat you 3/4-0.

Melbourne Knights vs South Melbourne
One of my favourite derbies. A ground on the fringe of Sunshine's industrial area, a ground fully owned by the Melbourne Croatia Social Club, great cevapi, and plenty of piss! Probably the most passionate derby in the VPL. The Knights had a great win at Oakleigh last week. South played an abandoned 91st minute game against the Bergers. The scoreline at the abandonment was 1-1. Game was abandoned because the police horses left deep divets on BJS. Anyway, South is playing pretty poorly and frankly I want heads on a platter. Knights are playing well. Score will be Knights 2 - South 3.

Where ist ein weekly highlights package?

Ich bin ein jelly donut and all that.

I mean, seriously, I want to see us not losing a regular season game against the Bergers.

I wonder why it hasn't come out yet.

Meh, who cares,

I gave a rambling seminar today for my one of honours subjects, and considering I was grossly underprepared, it went well enough, Certainly the other bewildered students thought it was very good. Pity they don't give out the marks.

For the record, it was an analysis of rhetoric using Plato, Aristotle and Cicero to analyise a 2002 Mark Latham speech. Good times, good times. Apart from the fascism and whatnot. But that never completely goes away, in any case.

So, how's Goran Zoric doing?

Well, to be honest, apart from being assigned the no. 20 shirt, I don't know. Police United aren't going too flash though, just the one draw from their first four games, sitting second last.

Thankyou Valkanis Family

Last Sunday's game, amongst other things, was also the end of the very long tenure of the Valkanis family's canteen operation at Middle Park and Lakeside. They won't be coming with us to wherever we're going, which is a pity. Their keftedes in particular will be missed.

They won't be lost to South entirely however, as they will now be providing comfort food to our junior wing. Hopefully they get a chance to enjoy a home senior game for the first time in what must be ages.

So thanks to the Valkanis family for their years of service, and to Filio, Jimmy and Helen  and whoever else they had do a guest stint, for making myself always feel welcome and a part of the South family.

For the record, I bought the final crumbed spicy chicken wing.

The Night Is A Blackbird - South 1 Bergers 1 - Game abandoned 92nd minute

It was supposed to be the culmination of years of work. Dragging the stricken barge that is this club off the reef. But, it was not to be. For 90 odd minutes, through frustration and reminiscence, people for the most part seemed to hold their nerve, despite being 1-0 down to the old enemy, on this symbolic day.

And then the worst thing possible happened. We scored.

The celebrations spilled over the fence, but rather than ending on that note by remaining in the corner, away from the players, some people took it too far. The referee rightly abandoned the game.

Some of the responsible persons have admitted their wrongdoing. Others have not. Some have even tried to justify the events to me personally, knowing that I would not and could not agree with them - and me being unable to give them the forgiveness or validation that was being sought. It is, for me at least, irrelevant. The damage has probably already been done. To what remains of our reputation. To our relationships with sponsors. To the players morale, after finding the equaliser. To the thousands of people who came to see us today, including scores of our juniors and their parents.

In the greater scheme of things, this is not even nearly the worst thing that has happened at South. But it's just another example, of when it comes down to it, not putting the interests of the club first. I feel worst, naturally, for the people who have worked tirelessly to set this event up in the first place. They know who they are. Here's hoping they are not discouraged, by the actions of their friends and fellow fans, by the punishments that will be doled out, by the hard work that may be undone, and the fact that we will, in an important way, have to start again.

The opposing view will be, that I am being melodramatic; that I am not sticking up for my fellow fans; that I am a nerd; that I have a stupid hat; that what's happened has happened, and there's nothing to be done about it now; that it was a spur of the moment thing, a rush of adrenaline, where people don't stop to think. And that's the problem right there. A little self-control, even in the heat of the moment, would have gone a long way.

So much goodwill lost. A right kick in the teeth. Another example of the periodic self-destruction which, to members of both those who are lamenting and those who are defending, seem to agree is almost an intrinsic part of this club. But there is, to be fair, only so much one can wallow in self-flaggelation and misery. Eventually, we must move on. But moving on doesn't necessarily mean turning a blind eye. It's self-centred perhaps, to feel that a great division has emerged between myself and so many of the people I have called friends in these past few years. And yet perhaps, more than at any other time, more than after any other incident, I feel I am at one end of a spectrum, and they at the other.

Does the Singapore Cup beckon for South?

You probably all found out while wasting time in your cramped cubicle, waiting for the drudgery of the working week to pass. Perhaps you're unemployed, and spat out half mashed load of froot loops at your computer screen when you saw that news. Me, I found out very late last night while eating strawberry pancakes on Chapel Street. The news has been overshadowed somewhat by the Gold Coast United and Archie Fraser fiascoes, but still generated it's own, mildly narcotic buzz, so far mainly on FourFourTwo and The Roar.

Now that you've read those pieces - or at least the official press release - you all want to know what I think. Because that's why you're here, right? So here goes. Brilliant opportunity if done right. I am not for the fantasy land idea of a permanent move to Singapore to play in the S-League. There's just no reasoning and no way near enough money and interest to sustain it. Or so I think, after what happened to Perth Kangaroos and Darwin Cubs, and the fact that the S-League is, in its own way, quite unstable when to comes new entrants coming and bowing out just as quickly. And besides, that'd leave us with a lot less away games we could actually make it to.

But this is not that thing. It is an invitation to a cup tournament. Although I'm sure the boffins out at Albert Road Drive have bigger ideas to come. From our end, there are immediate concerns about several factors.

• Games are apparently midweek - and let's face it, most if not all of our players are part timers. And what about the effect of travel? Games would have to be posponed - or at least perhaps we'd have our first round Singapore Cup game moved to the June VPL break period. Though, since it is only the first round that is played before September, it might not be so much of a hassle.
• Costs of travel. The boffins reckon they can raise the cash with sponsorship - hopefully they're right.  
• The FFA knocking it on the head, as has apparently happened with a proposed Northern Territory consortium seeking to play in the S-League. The obvious rejounder to that being, that being invited to participate in a cup tournament is different in some crucial ways - which each side will have to clarify - to playing in a league competition, with all the vagaries about foreign player quotas and such.  
• We lose, and lose badly in the first round.  But that's a risk we should be willing to take, I feel.

What's in it for us?

• As mentioned in several pieces already, an expansion of our brand, whatever thhe hell means - probably to do with sponsors and stuff. 
• Shaking up the box on what a 2nd tier, ostracised club can do if it puts its mind to it.
• Forcing the FFA's hand when it comes to getting its arse into gear about an FFA Cup or 2nd division
• A really cool away trip. 
• We might actually win the damn thing. Or at least get through the first round.

It's all terribly exciting. I'm amazed they managed to sit on for as long as they did. If I was more perceptive - and clearly, I have the analytical powers of a pea - I might have deduced something from questions I was asked by a certain schemer.

Think about it

Gold Coast United allegedly going under.

Five All Whites - including start striker Shane Smeltz - training with South to keep their fitness and sharpness up.

South needs a striker.

You know it makes sense.

Dan Silkstone goes one way, then the other

Age writer Dan Silkstone - a reporter I normally have a fair bit of time for - has learned a useful lesson about getting your facts right. In the original version of his article Lakeside Oval may make a return he wrote this

South Melbourne Soccer Club will remain in the Bob Jane-branded western-side grandstand but it is not yet decided whether the club will play matches at the refurbished facility.

The club's final match at Bob Jane Stadium is on Sunday before it relocates during the 18-month construction phase. It is yet to be determined where it will play once the stadium is finished.

Of course, this sent some people into raptures, and made a few other people freak out. But then for whatever reason - perhaps a public service flunky sent him a message - Silkstone changed it to this

South Melbourne Soccer Club will remain in the Bob Jane-branded western-side grandstand and will return to play matches at the refurbished facility after an 18-month construction period.

So all's well that ends well. As for the ethics behind altering an online article without admitting the correction - well, could have a field day with that.

Kiss of Death, Round 6, 2010 season

The Kiss of Death is back after the break, to wield potty mouthed judgement on every tsombano and every peasant club in the league.

Bentleigh Greens vs Green Gully Cavaliers
Bentleigh's bubble finally burst at Northcote on the weekend. Hurrah! Hurrah!
Peanut Man made a killing at the Greek derby. Hurrah! Hurrah!
Bentleigh to beat a hapless/caretaker coached Green Gully 2-1. BOOOOOOOOO!

Oakleigh Cannons vs Melbourne Knights
The Cannons dropped points at the Village, and the Knights beat Richmond. We all know that I prefer the Knights over any other Greek team bar South, therefore Oakleigh 1 Knights 3.

Richmond vs Hume City
Hume has been playing really well, and so has Richmond. Chatz to tinker with his lineup and force a draw against Hume. Logic dictates a 1-1 draw and Richmond's scorer to be Daniel Visevic.

Altona Magic vs Dandenong Thunder
Andy Sfetcopoulos got a run last week for Altona. Is that why they won? HAHAHA No. Will Mr T be back in goals this week for Altona? Probably, if he gets over his injury. Where too next for Andy Sfet? Anyway, now onto the game. Dandy Funder looked a shadow of the team that surprised many last year. Munro's Mates are starting to falter and seem Funderstruck, and after the abuse Stuey copped last weekend, I have it on good authority that he will be getting the sack either this week or next. Magic will beat the Thunder and Stuey will be coaching them the week after. Altona Magic 3 Dandy Funder 0.

South Melbourne vs Heidelberg United
The Super Classico. The Derby of the Aiwnians. The Derby of all Derbies. This game is broadcast to a world wide audience of over five billion people. Catch is, you must have the internet and know of the FFV’s live stream. OLE! Bergers are in the shit… diarrhoea like shit, you know the one that is sooooo good, you don’t even need to wipe your arsehole? They are still trying to find Daniel from HUFCtv who seems to have disappeared, and personally, I’m still waiting for Episode 1 of HUFC radio. But anyhoo, I hope South teach those peasants a lesson or four. I want South to take us back to the good old days where you knew that the Bergers would cop plenty of goals. Bergers need to get pumped. They need a wake up call. It will be for the good of the game. South Melbourne 5 Heidelberg 0. De Nittis x4, Gasparis x1 + 4 assists.

Sunshine Georgies vs Northcote City
Northcote to my surprise have won two games this season. I had them down for zero wins, zero draws, plenty of losses. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt to beat the horse whisperers this weekend. It will be a tight game, with fuck all chances. The only chance of the game to fall to Northcote in the 92nd minute. Sunshine Georgies 0 Northcote City 1.

Yes? What happened? When did that happen? How much of it? Oh my goodness, I'll be right up.

If Sydney United and Melbourne Knights could get the backlash they did for farming kids off to Croatian clubs, I wonder what kind of stick we'll get for allowing this sort of blatantly treasonous behaviour. And is the club getting paid? And will they move with us to wherever the fuck we're going after this week? And will we quickly become hoof and hope afficionados because of this relationship? If so, the blame shouldn't be on Vaughan Coveny's head - he is after all, entitled to try and sneakily increase the chances of his homeland at whatever cost - but instead, squarely at the feet of Football Director Ange Dallas if anything should happen to our precious jogo bonito.


Soccer: DIY All Whites hit on unusual way of preparing for Cup
By Chris Rattue

Shane Smeltz is among a group of five All Whites who have set up their own training camp in Melbourne. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Welcome to the DIY All Whites.

Members of New Zealand's World Cup-bound soccer side have taken themselves to Melbourne to keep in shape for the tournament in June.

Tim Brown, Ben Sigmund, Leo Bertos and David Mulligan from the Wellington Phoenix and Shane Smeltz from Gold Coast United designed the 12-day camp to negate the long break before playing Australia on May 24.

Brown and Sigmund hit on their own camp concept after the Phoenix's A-league campaign ended last month.

"We're supplying the food but New Zealand Football came to the party with money for airfares, accommodation and a rental car which we are really grateful for," Sigmund said.

"I suppose what we have done is unique ... but we desperately needed to get away from distractions and be focused on football."

The five train in the morning under Phoenix assistant Luciano Trani using programmes set by All Whites trainer Kenny McMillan, then work with Victorian club South Melbourne.

"Other World Cup teams get paid a lot more money and get everything you could possibly need," said Sigmund.

"We've heard England have three pitches at their base in South Africa mapped out to the size of the fields their group matches are on. Those are things we could never dream of."

Most of the All Whites will go into camp in Auckland on April 28

In Summary...

Wow, even getting requests now. This is from a post I made on the Melbourne Victory forum, in response to a post (a challenge?) about what and how reconciliation could take plave between old and new; and what improvements did we think had occurred in that time. MelbCro, a Melbourne Knights supporting poster, suggested I blog it.


Dante,

I can't comment on juniors and development, because I have no worthwhile insight into that at all. Similarly, I've seen bits and pieces of three A-League games in the past 5 years, so can't comment on the standard.

The move into Asia should have been done years ago. They've seemed to have sorted out a lot of the crap that was holding back the potential of those current overseas based Socceroos, in that they now have the facilities and help that they should have.

The game has come along in leaps and bounds in many ways. Better stadiums, better conditions for players, more media. But it's not my game - in much the same way that previously, people who felt (rightly or wrongly) that the game wasn't theirs, now feel a sense of ownership over it. It's not the game that I grew up with - with all the negative and positive things that came with it. There is no timetable for reconciliation. There's no need for it. The changes that have been enacted have been done so forcefully, that there's no turning back, really. It's a different culture, a different environment, tapping into something broader in society.

Stella starring - I'm so sorry - in Siena youth set up

Word on the streets is that rather than being farmed out to the chips and mayo outfit in backstreet Belgium, Francesco Stella, the Prince of the Stepover, has been acquitting himself very well in Siena's you set up. Which is absolutely terrific news as far as I'm concerned. Scoring some goals too apparently. I nicked this photo by the way from somewhere else.

So it's come to this

South on TV. I'll say this. I'm not against it. How could one be? But I will express the concerns that I've already raised before, when the idea was floated a while back, so I feel there's no need to apologise for any offense caused.

• Sponsorship. Well it appears they've found some, which is great - otherwise how else could they commit to the schedule and the equipment? 
• Timeslot. You get what you pay for, at least initially. 10am on a Saturday morning isn't a glamorous spot on the grid - but it's pretty much what Green Gully's got as well, who have the money to burn. Which leads us to...
• Demographics. It's great that Channel 31 has got its digital licence and spectrum allocation - as long as they get the rest of the money to make the necessary upgrades of course. One of my concerns was about their, at the time, dim future. Especially considering that Channel 31 was losing ever more of it's audience as the switch was being made to digital.
• Workload. This has always been the big one. It's a lot of work for volunteers to do. Which is not to say that it can't be done - just that when you have much the same people putting together all the club's PR and information products, it just gets bigger. But if they belielve they can do it, and withstand the unpredictability of illness and absence, more power to them.

And I say these things not out of hate or jealousy from being overlooked for nearly every single thing of this type - wink, wink - but only out of concern for the people putting together, lest they burn out. I've seen it happen before, and it wasn't pleasant. In that regard then, here are some of the things this show will hopefully do.

• Sponsorship. Providing even more opportunity for our sponsors to be showcased.
• Completing the loop. Radio, internet - and now television. All feeding into each other, giving people access wherever they are, whenever they want.
• Just being on television. If and/or when Channel 31 goes digital, and if we hopefully and eventually get a better timeslot, people will watch, because people will channel surf.
• The chutzpah behind it. Being ballsy enough to do something like this. Now, one may say that Green Gully has been doing it for years - and it's true, they have, and they deserve major credit for it. But they haven't had to deal with the relevance identity crisis that we have. Doing all this stuff re-affirms the club's commitment to not go away and die in a quiet corner. 

This blog enjoys reveling in its despondency, and it can afford to do that because of its independence from machine politics and any sort of serious following from anyone. But for the club itself as a going concern, it's been all too easy to fall into the same trap of feeling all sorry for itself. This is another step in the transformation and restoration of the club. Where this recovery ultimately leads to, is as yet unwritten.

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye

Days of redevelopment past

So, with us moving out for a bit, and them going to build a stand on the outer side at Lakeside, it's perhaps worth noting our history of outer sides. Of course, there was no outer side stand at Middle Park. It was always that Hellas and Hakoah built stand from the very early days of Middle Park's history as a stadium, and not simply a probably unenclosed park.

And there was this, which I've nicked from Austadiums

Bob Jane Stadium Redevelopment  

Current Status:
At this stage, is is unlikely this redevelopment will go ahead.

Overview:

The proposed redevelopment of Melbourne's Bob Jane Stadium will include a new Grand Stand to be built opposite the currently members stand. The plans for the new grandstand include seating for six thousand people in a two-tiered structure, as well as increased corporate dining facilities and viewing suites. The plans also include office facilities, which could include housing for the Victorian Soccer Federation.

I'm not sure what year that's from. One wonders if it had been built, what route our fortunes may have taken. A facility of that sort, accommodating the pleb and celeb alike in great comfort, hell, even just the increase in undercover seating... but that opportunity, for whatever reason, is long gone, and with it... well, another set of what ifs I guess.

Certainly, in the late NSL era, Peter Mitrakas said the following in a Herald Sun article about building a new stand:

Mitrakas said South was looking for a co-tenant at Bob Jane Stadium, with an ultimate aim of building a second grandstand and turning the ground into a 14,000-capacity, all-seater stadium.

"When we took out the lease in 1995, we also got a development approval to build another grandstand (opposite the current stand), but we haven't got the money to do it," he said.

"We estimated then it would cost up to $3 million but that will at least have doubled now.

This was before the new league even had a name, and the allegedly Chinese backed consortium Melbourne Dragons was rumoured to be a candidate for inclusion into the new competition. Nobody talks about that anymore though.

Farken Pumped, Farken

I might as well type this while listening to Doves' Some Cities - the only album of theirs I like - and before the adrenalin flows out of my system. It's a huge week coming up, but more on that during the other 7 days of what's ahead.

I've been feeling pretty crappy and unsure about my honours thesis, to the point where I've been incredibly slack about my reading - but I've got down to some database wrangling and found some choice cuts and trends. And while I'll have to rethink my angle, at least there's something a little firmer to grab onto.

And it got me thinking about some other projects that have fallen by the wayside. My most recent Ozfootball work is a distant memory. And the fanzine never even got started. And the South Melbourne Hellas online historical compendium got a bit of a run then died before it could even be launched. Even my wikipedia work has pretty much stalled.

And part of the problem is the technical difficuly of putting that stuff together - especially from a novice point of view, especially online. You can gain and lose enthusiasm along the way, but if you're not au fait with the tools from the get go, you'll always be on the backfoot. Especially someone like me, ever so tentative and unsure about every little thing.

And I figured, why can't OzFootball be turned into a wiki? Well, because it would take a hell of a lot of work, and I'm not sure people are interested in converting the data on there to a new, easier to use format. But starting from scratch, it should be possible to revive the Hellas Historical Site myself and a couple of others had a semi-decent stab at.

This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Of course, we can't hope to do something as awesome and as detailed as that. But we could certainly do something similar. And the fact that the semi-inspiration of this blog, Supermercado, is the major contributor, shows that it couldn't be that hard. Ok, an unwarranted dig, but even if it's me and one other person, I'm determined to make this happen. There's so much of a story to tell.

Bah, Stupid Pagan Bullshit

Holidays are that special time
When we laugh and sing and feel warm and cozy
Forget about being angry for a day

from Happy Holidays From Charlie Manson (in that kickarse episode of South Park where they go to Nebraska and somehow redeem Manson via ad nauseum Christmas specials).


I'm bored. How about you? Nah, you all love Easter, and Jeebus, and have millions of friends and so therefore there isn't this huge vacuum needing to be filled where a South game would usually be.

I'll be likely attending the Collingwood game tomorrow. It's against Melbourne, and so a win should be guaranteed, and if not, well, apart from being the laughing stock of that competition, at least there won't be any Melbourne fans on the train on the way back, the way back being the Werribee line. It's also one of the very small handful of AFL matches I can get myself down to.

Today, bizarrely, I've been invited to attend a rugby league match. The Storm against St George at Docklands to be a little more exact. I'm not a fan of rugby league - me being petit-bourgeois and all that - not a fan of the Storm in any remote sense even as expected of my supposed sporting civic duty (fuck this town's parochialism can get up my goat sometimes), and not being a fan of the Docklands Stadium - apart from last year's Asian Cup Qualifier against Oman, I hadn't been inside the place for years - it should be something quite different, and yet so predictable in that it will only reinforce my appreciation of South and stuff. But that's probably quite a naff and close minded approach to take.

South women have new site - but are they even our women anymore?

You can visit them, here. But are they still part of the affiliation system? Or the Super Awesome One Big Happy Family System? I don't know to be honest. If they aren't, well... they probably shouldn't be using that logo - the Albert Park Women's club use of a re-jigged Lakers era logo notwithstanding (let's be honest, anyone can have that for free). And they should probably get themselves a new name. In which case it's nice that their history section mentions, more or less, that they are not a direct continuation of the original South Melbourne Hellas women's team, but rather a relocated Greensborough/Nunawading.

Not that there's anything wrong with that of course. And who knows, maybe there's a huge misunderstanding on my part as to what the hell's going on down near pit lane. Let's hope it gets sorted out soon. But we said that a month or two back, and nothing good seemed to happen. It's all gone very quiet.

Things to look forward to in my blogging career

Even if you have little interest in the football of our immediate neighbours, the Jakarta Casual blog can provide a right old laugh - and certain dose of perspective - that we all could do with after watching the slopfest that is the VPL - especially us writers and bloggers who for some reason seek to pore over the specifics of the aforementioned slopfest. Now I've had a few experiences that I probably wouldn't have had if I hadn't started this blog, but nothing close to the events in the latter part of the following piece from Jakarta Casual.

Oh Crumbs, Oh Gosh, Oh Golly Gee

Still Singapore resonates to the sound of dirty washing being displayed. Hallelujah and praise be to the media who do love this kind of tripe.

Some old pro who now works in gas shows he knows a thing or two about his product when he compared today's Lions to back in his day when, get this, players would play computer games and smoke after lights and even, heavens to Betsy, 'some didn't even sleep at all'.

I mean oh golly, who would ever thought a group of young men together would be flouting curfew?! I guess it shows what a dull old place Singapore is when a footballer being late for a bus makes headlines.

Anyway it appears that the players who were late for the bus were M Riduan and Baihakki Kaizan. In their defence they do live in Indonesia and it is easy to be seduced by the old notion of jam karet here where nothing ever happens at the appointed time. Or place.

All reminds me of an interview I did there a few months back. Player turned up 20 minutes late, apologised saying that he had had to wait a long time for the number 13. As we ordered our beers from the delightful Mabel he lit up a really large joint and we watched some porno on the large screen TV.

As we were finishing the last of our chewing gum who should walk around the corner but a journalist. There we were, empty Tigers lined up on the metal table, 4-4-2 of course, blankly watching the spit roasting on the plasma.

Don't remember too much after that mind.

Send In The Clowns - SMFCTV hightlights against Dandy

It's all good when you win. Amongst the several things to look out for:

• Stuart Webster's seal impersonation.
• The ice attack suffered by Gianni De Nittis.
  
• Sebastian Petrovich taking control of the post-game show.
• The President and SMFCTV crew cacking themselves in the background.
• Marinos Gasparis' use of the word fantabulous.

To be honest, it's the best SMFCTV post-match segment yet. It's what the punters want to see. At least the ones that I know.

Confession time, sigh, again, sigh

Despite my lambasting of the Antipodes Festival, I must admit that for the first time in ten years or so, I did attend. This was on Saturday, mind. But it was only to help hand out free passes and such. Now, with a student union politics stint behind me - for the mighty Activate/Pride/Left that wasn't Socialist rich kids or drunk ALP Left kids that worked in Lindsay Tanner's office - I knew how to hand out pieces of paper to people who did not know, nor care, what it was stuck in their hand eight tenths of the time until they'd already wandered.

If you want to read a self-aggrandising pro-Antipodes rant about how to fix up the festival, you should head here. But me, I hate the sea and everything in it, if you catch my drift. Here are some of my highlights, in my just over two hour shift.

• Les Papasavas, son of the legendary Sam Papasavas, dropped in for a chat. Him not knowing who the hell I am, let alone that I have a half-arsed South blog (and me being supposedly on a short leash owing to the chaos I can cause - even though it's all fucken justified, farken), it's probably not fair for me to relay the conversation. But apparently we're irrelevant, and we should give up. Or something. I don't know, that's what I got out of the conversation. In my brief 'Form and Content' class last Thursday, someone reacted sarcastically when I said self-deprecatingly that perhaps I'm a bit more cynical about such things (in reference to global trends in television programming - Canadian Ice Hockey Thugs in a pairs figure skating talent show of some sort, used as part of an analogy about in the same way more roads doesn't lead to less traffic - despite everyone's best hopes - more channels and more programming time doesn't lead to better television shows - but I guess you just had to be there).
• People looking at the DVD footage on the television screen, looking at the stall title which was above the small tent, and then asking what it was all about. Even after they'd read their freebie double pass.
• One person took a pass, walked, had a look, then came back and gave back her pass. Well, it's a form of recycling I guess.
• There weren't too many young Greeks, as far as I could tell. Mind you, this was around 2pm to just after 4pm. Maybe they were all sleeping, or styling their hair or something. There were plenty of people of Subcontinental and East Asian appearance, wandering through mostly after having done their shopping.
• I like Thin Lizzy's 'Boys Are Back In Town' as much as the next person, but it's hardly Greek. Even if it is played by a Greek band, or band made up of Greeks or their descendants, and therefore I didn't heed the call from the announcer to be proud of them. 
• Rhodri Payne came past with a housemate carrying a relatively tasteful amount of booze. 
• One random loon came up and had some sort of rant about the game being the most corrupt in the world, and big business and something. While he was glad to have got it off his chest, I'm not sure what difference it makes to the broader argument about whatever he was rabbiting on about.
• Antipodes volunteers - who I assume were Greek, or knew something about local Greek culture - being given free passes and asking where Bob Jane Stadium was. 
• Something about Greeks and fickleness and shit. 

I was apparently quite lucky I didn't spend any time out there on the Sunday. A lot of naff comments, including a variation of one that I hadn't heard for years, about us being Melbourne Victory now. If you were out there at all over the weekend, please feel free to vent your spleens in the comments section.

Comments and such

Ok, so perhaps I went overboard - or not, depending on what you think of tomorrow's piece - so anonymous, non email required commenting is back. But it's still moderated.

Please be patient...

Blogger has got some new, very user friendly - certainly compared to their old purely html based gunk - templates to play with. As such, this blog has been reorganised, sorta, kinda - and stuff looks different and it's been moved around. There's finally right and left hand columns - cutting down on the clutter quite nicely, I think. In future, also, photos will have captions... so, up in the world and all that. Maybe even a banner, hut that's a more of this blog based initiative rather than Blogger HQ. I know the colours are a bit off, but we may try to sort them as we go. Also, death to counters. Had enough of trying squeeze them, and them being inaccurate anyway.

And a clean sheet to boot - Dandenong Thunder 0 South Melbourne 2

A good performance against an opponent struggling to regain what made them far and away the best team in 2009. The Thunder's central midfield was pretty much non existent - we were pretty much able to do as we pleased in there, putting together several excellent short and quick passing chains. It was the Thunder defence's ability to read the play which denied us more than anything in that first hour or so - even good crosses and swift moves were being picked off at the opportune moment.

Perhaps it was little surprise then that South's opening goal was an opportune one. Carl Recchia's powerful shot forced a diving save from Stuart Webster, but rather than going out for a corner or cleared  away, the ball bounced next to the goal post, with Marinos Gasparis netting in easily from a tight angle to give us the lead.

Then we dropped back and tried to absorb whatever pressure the home side could throw at us. Though we had our scary moments after scoring our goal - Dandenong took advantage of our dropping back and delayed use of badly needed substitutions - to have lost or even drawn this game would have been an injustice. De Nittis tapped in with the last kick of the game to make it 2-0.

A clean sheet is a great, but it required a bit of fortune. Recchia, still obviously not entirely match fit, is getting there, and had his best game so far. His reading of the play was first rate going forward and back. Gasparis had his best game for the club so far. Sammy Torrens could have done better with some of his crosses, but nevertheless ran himself into the ground. Apart from the 15 or so minutes after we scored, the defence did an excellent job, especially considering Steven O'Dor was subbed early yesterday with a hamstring injury.

Next up is Heidelberg in two weeks, in what will almost certainly be the final game at Lakeside in its current state. Plenty of time for injured players - and we have several of them - to get themselves right to continue our strong start to the season.

Kiss of Death - Round 5, 2010

He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake...

Green Gully Cavaliers vs Altona Magic

Altona Magic missing key players through suspension. Green Gully playing good football but unlucky. Green Gully 2 – Altona magic 0.

Northcote City vs Bentleigh Greens

Hmm. I'm going against the grain somewhat, and putting Northcote down for this one. I still can’t tip Bentleigh. Northcote City 2 – Bentleigh Greens 1. The peanut man is doing very well lately. His team is on the up, a few Greek derbies to start off the season, yet the ‘Kalamatiano’ at South is still a thorn in his side.

Dandenong Thunder vs South Melbourne

Kitchens aplenty! The sooner this season finishes and puts Funder out of their misery, the better. Munro loses this weekend, he is gone. South also need to start playing for 90 minutes, not just 20. Oh Zeus, God of Gods, please give us something to be proud of this season. In return we will refrain from jerking off over the big names that we have. Dandy Funder 0 – South Melbourne 2.

Hume City vs Sunshine Georgies

Hume is playing really well. Damn it hurt saying that. But they have been for a while so I can’t deny them that. Sunshine is just Sunshine. Working man's club. Hume 4 – Sunshine 1.

Melbourne Knights vs Richmond

In probably the most boring game of the round, Melbourne Knights 1 Richmond 2. I can’t really say much about this game.

Heidelberg United vs Oakleigh Cannons

Two of my favourite teams. Heidelberg will be hassling Oakleigh all week to give them this game for the glory of Greece. The battle of the supercoaches. In what will be a pretty poor game that a certain radio station will be jerking themselves over, and a certain newspaper journalist will write an article this week telling us about how this game is one of the greatest derbies in the world, Oakleigh will beat Heidelberg and beat them well. Heidelberg to stay below 0. Heidelberg 0 – Oakleigh Cannons 6.

Podcasts and such

The Pumpkin Seed Eaters latest missive has hit the streets. The latest South radio broadcast is also out - probably the best one yet.

You may have also noticed that there's a few new links underneath the banner. This has helped slightly unclutter the right hand side, as well as explain what's going on, how to heckle or praise us, and paying credit to those who've chipped in along the way.

Bad news for Paddy K

Patrick Kisnorbo snapped his Achilles tendon earlier this week, in Leeds United's 2-0 loss to Millwall - and the general consensus seems to be that, apart from missing the rest of the season, will also miss out now on any chance of making the world cup squad. A real damn shame. 

South at Antipodes again this year

I'm not a fan of the Antipodes Festival, but then, to butcher a line by Devo, I was through being cool - or in this case 'Greek', whatever the fuck that means - years ago. Still, the club will once again be holding a stall, with merchandise, memberships and other stuff. So if you're in the city this Saturday or Sunday, go past there and say hello.

Honouring our takeover of Melbourne Hakoah

These South Melbourne Adidas members polos are top notch.
Just one thing though.
Have you seen the logo?
I mean, really looked at it?
Four stars as is normal.
But four stars now with six points as opposed to the previous and customary five.
Not quite Star of David, but pretty close.
Subtle. Hooped socks and a red v away top can't be too far away.
You know it makes sense.

Hyperbole Station - Gully game highlights

Includes chit chat with Peter Zois, Rama, Nando and Horsey.

Take whatever you can get - South 2 Gully 1

Screw Craig Foster and screw his Dutch Mafia. Long balls, and more of them please! Less passes, less chances to fuck up. The science bares this out. Oh it might be ok for your Arsenals and Barcelonas to play keepy uppy and amuse themselves - they also have players that have the collective capabilities to do all sorts of things that we mere mortals can only dream of.

And that's just it. We're made up of mere mortals, and nothing more. Every pass past number four diminishes your chance of scoring a goal exponentially. So fling it long, into the open spaces, get a little lucky with some bad defending, and slot home a one on one. Ride your luck for the rest, and the VPL championship can't be too far away after that.

Kiss of Death, round 4, 2010

The Kiss of Death has something to say about last week's predictions...

Firstly, an apology to all the Dodgy Asian Betting fans in South East Asia and Western Europe. An apology not for the Kiss of Death tips last week, but for the inconsistency of the teams in this league. We now move on to Round 4 Kiss of Death of the VPL.

Oakleigh Cannons vs Dandenong Thunder
Oakleigh surprised everyone with their 1-2 away win at Gully on Saturday, while Dandy Funder surprisingly lost 0-3 at home to Richmond last week, with Jesse Krncevic marking his debut with two sizzlers. The game is really a no brainer. Oakleigh fluked their win at Gully, and Funder will need to perform after their 0-3. In what will be a bore 0-0 draw, nothing exciting will come out of Jack Edwards. Unless of course a politician's sponsorship board is damaged.

Richmond vs Heidelberg United
Richmond surprised everyone with their 0-3 at Funder last weekend. Can they do it again against the hapless Bergers ? Of course they can. Expect plenty of goals in this one… especially from the home team. Bergers are falling apart. For starters, they haven’t played South yet, they don’t have enough Greeks in the team, and the travelling ‘Alexanders Army’, is as extinct as the dodo. Richmond to eat the Bergers 4-0, with a side dish of the famous Bavarian cheesecake for dessert.

Altona Magic vs Northcote City
Altona Magic will bounce back after their predicted performance down at Bentleigh. Northcote's 3-3 against South Melbourne was just a derby result, nothing more. Magic should teach the new boys a lesson or 2 about the VPL. It’s all about lessons this year for Northcote. I really can’t see them stopping Tasevski down the left, right or center of the park. I rate this kid highly and he will be a Socceroo one day. Magic 2 – Northcote 0.

Hume City vs Melbourne Knights
Hmm. This is probably the hardest match of the round. Hume is unbeaten, and the Knights are coming off two draws against lowly opposition. However, my crystal balls tell me that the Knights will draw again. A 1-1 draw to Hume's disappointment.

Sunshine Georgies vs Bentleigh Greens
Bentleigh's bubble to finally burst, thank fuck. I’m kinda sick of these teams bragging about how good they are, when really, they are just recycled. I’m probably the only person who Bentleigh has failed to impress. I can see beyond all the bullshit, whereas no one else can. Put your house, car, dog, kids, wife on Sunshine. Sunshine 3 – Bentleigh 1. Apostolikas to score first for Bentleigh.

South Melbourne vs Green Gully Cavaliers
Vaughan Coveny's job is on the ropes. Unless South absolutely give it to Gully, he will be under pressure. A number of fans have offered to help him pack. Gully surprisingly lost to Oakleigh last weekend and will be looking to bounce back. But can they do it at BJS ? Against Northcote, South were absolutely rubbish in the 1st half. Performances like that will not win you fans, but will make you enemies from within. South need to give it Gully, so anything less that six goals in their favour will be disappointing. South 6 – Gully 0. De Nittis to silence his critics with four pearlers.

Life is one depressing thing after another

Shigematsu fastened this account away as an appendix to his "Journal of the Bombing." Then, at Shigeko's request, he set off for Kotaro's place with rice dumplings for the Mass for Dead Insects. The lacquer box containing the dumplings was inside the metal wash-bowl in which Kotaro had brought the loach, and the whole was encased in a wrapping-cloth.

The Mass for Dead Insects was a rite performed on the day after the festival, when farmers would make rice dumplings as an offering to the souls of the deceased insects they had inadvertently trodden on as they worked in the fields. On the same day, custom also demanded that they should return any articles that they had on loan from their neighbours.

from Black Rain by Masuji Ibuse

Round 3 Highlights

Notice the nice layoffs by De Nittis and Gasparis to set up a couple of those goals. The offside call on the third Northcote goal is at best, inconclusive based on the footage. One thing you won't notice is that in his brief post-game interview Daniel Vasilevski, is apparently not wearing any pants. Or so I've been told.

Half full or half empty? Northcote 3 South Melbourne 3

Ok, so we got the first goal, a long range effort from Fernando - scoring it meant he'd scored the last four South season proper goals. But Northcote stuck to their game plan. We were playing high up the field, so Northcote stacked the midfield, waited for us to make mistakes - which we did - and then hit us with counter attacks marked by swift, direct movement of the ball, and clever exploitation of the gaping holes we were leaving behind defenders - which were exacerbated by us not pulling off the offside trap with any sort of competency whatsoever. Though Northcote's third goal was deemed offside by a number of witnesses, I wouldn't have begrudged them that one anyway - they deserved that lead. We struggled to penetrate through the middle, getting pinned on the wings, and were unable to make use of De Nittis in any meaningful way.

The 2nd half is harder for me to comment on, because I switched from the grandstand to behind the goals. How we looked in defense especially I'm not sure - Northcote made it up that far enough times for them to add another. But to their credit, our lads picked up their game. Some changes in personnel helped also. Sash Vranesevic showed some class - balls headed his way seemed glued to his feet, he put in some nice crosses, and generally made the right choices - playing alongside Joey Yousseff could be a plan of sorts - though, you know, playing two up front could also be a plan, regardless of who's up there. Daniel Vasilevski was all class with his finishes. And Fernando is finally, hopefully, getting back to the Fernando we know and love - though he was quite spent by the end of the game, with another pre-season interrupted by Futsalroos duty.

I'd like to think that we're close to something good. But I don't know for sure. We clear out some chinks in the armour, and new ones get introduced - and some of the same ones, like conceding another goal from a set piece, remain. We seem to have a plan b, maybe even c - but we don't necessarily know when to put it into effect. The lineup is unstable - injuries have played an effect, sure, but I'm not sure even Coveny knows what his ideal lineup and setup are yet - despite so many pre-season games. I think they'll settle on something soon.

South of the Border welcomes the Kiss of Death - Round 3, 2010, match previews

Someone out there has finally cracked. They've grown weary after enduring the endless, mind numbing and poorly formatted pieces that pass for match previews on this site, and have decided to take up the famous Kiss of Death role on here. Of course, the anonymity of the Kiss of Death will be a tightly guarded secret, unless of course they choose to out themselves - suffice to say, it isn't me.

So welcome Kiss of Death to the South of the Border stable - let's hope you don't go the way of our last - and only prior regular contributor - Cliff Hussey, who's been missing in action since the end of 2008 (where he would write match reports for us), with reports being that he either joined a vampire fetish cult of some sort, or is too busy living it up as much as he can before he, like millions of teenagers before him he comes to realise how much of a tool he was at that age. Nah, Cliff's alright. But that haircut...

KISS OF DEATH - Round 3, 2010

Bentleigh Greens vs Altona Magic
Bentleigh Greens to win this one 2-1. The Magic will struggle down at Kingston Heath Soccer Complex. The facility does not suit their wide playing midfielders. On a positive note, Bentleigh is playing the NTC 2 days earlier, but as expected will field a stock standard 'who gives a shit’ side. The peanut man to make a killing down at his beloved Pangyprios.

Northcote City vs South Melbourne - The battle of the ‘sister clubs’.
Northcote City are looking for their first win in this years VPL campaign and so are South Melbourne. Northcote is yet to gain a point after 2 rounds, whereas South Melbourne have drawn 2 against Altona Magic away, and Bentleigh at home. South Melbourne to continue Northcote’s battle to stay up with a convincing 0-3 win away from home. A good crowd is expected, Greek dancing, Greek music on the PA, and a queue as far as the eye can see to purchase food and drinks. Ahmet Turer to do absolutely nothing.

Green Gully Cavaliers vs Oakleigh Cannons
Green Gully to convincingly put away Oakleigh 2-0, with plenty of missed chances. Jerry Karpeh to cost Oakleigh at least three clear goals. After this game, an inquisition will be held down at Jack Edwards Reserve.

Dandenong Thunder vs Richmond
Dandy Funder to get their second win this season against the mixed bag of Richmond.
In what has been an expected slow start by Dandy, this will just be a flash in the pan performance. Poor results to continue for both sides this season.

Melbourne Knights vs Sunshine Georgies
Melbourne Knights to let Sunshine George Cross know why they are paying rent. Melbourne Knights to win 3-1 with a performance more polished than their 3-3 draw against the Bergers. In what was a stroke of coaching madness, the Knights let a 3-1 lead with ten minutes to go wash away into Melbourne's wild weather. Knights to teach Sunshine George Cross a lesson in football fluency.

Heidelberg United vs Hume City
As they drive home from the Village with 3 points in the bag, Hume will be left to ponder what could’ve been a record victory. A miserly 1-0 victory should’ve been at least 7, but when you play the Bergers on a terrible pitch, in piss poor conditions, in front of a crowd of 85 (excluding the bar staff and officials), low scores are expected. They only play to beat South.

Round 2 Highlights

The package and its presentation is coming along in leaps and bounds, a credit to the people working on it. Some other things you may notice.

• You can clearly see a gentleman clad mostly in black on Clarendon Corner call the handball before everyone else does, including the lineswoman. I agree with him, it was a good call.
• Johnny Sapasovski surely had to be a few metres offside for his run which eventually lead to a good save by Peter Zois.
• Where are all the bad tackles by Bentleigh? Omitted in the interests of good taste is the only reasonable explanation.
• Arthur Akritidis doing commentary in the background! Yes! Not gone, still around! Brilliant.
  
• Gianni De Nittis seems to be in a decent state of mind despite only getting a point. Think he's on his way back.
  
• David Lugli has a very itchy arm.
  

This club is alright, I suppose

That's the slogan I want for next year. Did you know that 'I Love This Club', the slogan for the 2010 membership campaign - looks great on a car sticker - is actually a volunteer in-joke? It's true. It got attached to every stupid, funny or bewildering situation, comment or character that made a post-ironic, post-modern, coping with the absurdity of the universe impression amongst the people who spend far too much time at the club.

Me, I don't spend that much time at the club, and so I never really took any ownership of the term. That, and Aristotle said that you can only love something which has the capacity to love you in return. So, does the club have the capacity to love me? I don't know. It depends I guess, whether you define the club as either an abstract collective of people, who are capable of love, or as merely the name by which a loose association of otherwise disparate individuals pools their collective wealth and time in order to watch some blokes kick a ball around for the glory of becoming Victorian champions.

Then again, if we follow the words of Thomas Aquinas, that to love is to will the good of another, than I guess, maybe, if the club is considered a suitable other, and perhaps even if not, at least the players out there can be loved, and since they are the team playing on behalf of the club - playing on behalf of the club, of course, though for payment, in exchange for their temporary loyalty, and because the fans of the club actually playing would lead to a massacre. Money talks, bullshit walks. You won't find that in Aristotle. Well, at least not in such blunt language.

And then it rained all night - South 1 Greens 1

Now, I like to overreact as much as the next person, but the nonsense spewing forth already is rather silly. Yes it was disappointing to cop a goal in the manner we did, with so many unmarked players from a set piece - but pretty much every other ball they floated up or across into our area was cleared with relative ease.

As for not creating chances - as the game went on, we took over, even before they had Goutzioulis sent off, and it was just that bit of bad luck that the ball doesn't drop into the right spot which prevented us from getting an earlier lead, or perhaps a second. I would like to see a second striker, and for us to play with some more width - which did happen when we got on top, but stopped when we conceded. I don't want to have our heads go down when we concede.

The effort was there, especially Gianni De Nittis, a player I have criticised for his lack of effort in the past two or so seasons. Sam Torrens provided some good drive on the left, despite getting little protection from the referees. Our central defence was strong. At times, especially the first 30 or so minutes, we struggled to control the central midfield. But I thought that overall, if either team deserved maximum points, it was us.

As for the penalty. I instinctively went up for he handball, but wasn't sure if it was in the box. Only the video can possibly clear that up, really.

VPL Needs More Greeks - Round 2, South Melbourne vs Bentleigh Greens

Last Time They Met

- In a 90/120 minute game

Hellenic Cup Final 2010,

South Melbourne 0 Bentleigh Greens 0 (Bentleigh won 5-4 on penalties)

- In a competitive match

Round 26, 2005

South Melbourne 3 Bentleigh Greens 1

I was on my Lost Weekend. Apparently pretty much everyone else was at the Oakleigh - Preston 5-0 game. And Bentleigh were on their way out of the VPL.

Preview

We'll probably lose. But come buy a membership and shit anyway. It's an election year, you know?

Vale Jim Diamantaris

Once more, I'm ripping this straight from the official website.

The entire South Melbourne FC family would like to extend its deep condolences and wishes to the Diamantaris family on the passing of former South Melbourne FC President Jim Diamantaris.

Diamantaris served as president from 1985-1986 and was recently inducted into the SMFC Hall of Fame at the club’s 50th Year Anniversary Gala Ball at the Crown Palladium.

South Melbourne FC President Leo Athanasakis, speaking to smfc.com.au, remarked that “the passing of Mr. Diamantaris represented the passing of a true Club legend, and his smile and presence will be severely missed by the SMFC family. I wish to pass on my condolences on behalf of everyone at SMFC to the Diamantaris family. We will miss him dearly".

Michael Cockerill endores biffo - on and off field

Apparently Sydney and Melbourne are playing for the 50 millionth time this season. I only bring this to your attention because I want to have a cheap internet attack on various groups. I don't think there's any real point that I'm trying to make, and if I am, it's as poorly as per usual.

Mike Cockerill's article. The relevant part is below.

On the field, it's often been a war. Off the field, things can get even more heated. In cyberspace, and in open space, the fans bait each other incessantly. Sometimes they even hit each other. Pubs in Sydney, and in Melbourne, have borne the brunt. The long arm of the law usually gathers in the culprits. After a few hours in a paddy van, they're out and proud, their brief incarceration claimed as a badge of honour.

This is the way of football the world over. This is the character which defines the A-League's biggest rivalry. There was a time when Football Federation Australia tried to dampen down the fires. Heavy-handed security. Seating arrangements changed. CCTV cameras installed. It didn't work. It was never going to work. Now they have come to realise the emotion driven by the clubs, the players, and the fans, is a strength, not a weakness.

The boys will be boys line - again. Is anyone surprised? Maybe we as a sport, maybe just in this country, maybe a select part of it, but an important part, actually want there to be this kind of thing, just quietly. Reminiscences of violent incidents past - off field ones, unless you count pitch invasions as on field - there's often an unnerving twinkle and glaze in the eye of the storyteller. A sort of fondness for the taste of blood, whether it was experienced firsthand or merely observed and absorbed vicariously. The attachment to the danger and vitality of youth, and its neglect of middle aged common sense.

Of course, we shouldn't completely disregard or downplay our own failings. When people get into soccer fights, self identifying as members of one ethnic group fighting against another, it doesn't leave other people with much room to negotiate a different description - whether they want to or not. And while it may suit those who despise soccer and foreignness to pin the blame on foreigners and a foreign game - it may suit the patricians of our own sport to also pin the blame on ethnicity as the defining factor behind violent soccer incidents - and when it's gone, as it is now in the A-League, there is a layer removed, there is a certain level of clarity, and a wistfulness, and perhaps even an end to some of journalistic hibernation as the bears of the winter come out for the spring, and perhaps the sensing of an opportunity to, just quietly and very carefully, endorse what polite society and the PC Brigade don't want them to.

Personally, I think it's a stupid stance to take, no matter what beliefs I may have held, or irrelevant slogans I may have chanted as a lonely teenager back in 1996. The violence on the terraces and in the backstreets, whether ethnic or mainstream, drunk or sober, is just stupid - an easy statement to make from the safety of my ivory tower, I know. But that doesn't matter, really, if the turnstiles continue to click over at a decent rate, and fully grown men with respectable jobs and much more popular authority than I will ever be able to muster have the opposite opinion.

Blogs, forums, surrender to good taste, proper manners

I mean, no, really? Does the PFA have nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing better to do with its time? So some 9 to 5 office schmo who hates his job, can't maintain a steady relationship and is watching his once pleasant, youthful features slide into oblivion, who logs onto a random football forum to alleviate the boredom, creates a few obviously bogus to everyone except the braindead accounts and amuses himself and a few others like him, and somehow that is more important than every single other issue the PFA deals with?

More important than unlicensed and unregistered player managers? Safe playing surfaces? Clubs who veer between being ok and being on the brink? Players mental and social welfare? Dodgy academies ripping parents and kids off to the tune of thousands of dollars? All these things more important than bloggers and facebookers calling a shite player a shite player, or participating in the at times heady vaudeville that is football fandom?

The likely initial reaction of any sane, experienced user of the internet who realises that the web is not a new domain full of demons and saboteurs, but rather just an extension of the old one, will be either a quiet chuckle or stunned bewilderment. I mean, these are the things that football fans did all the time before the internet. Impersonations, fanzines and generally taking the piss is what makes the majority of football fans hang on grimly as their permanently financially stricken, relegation threatened sides full of haircut obsessed nancy boys with suspicious nightclub habits go from bad to whatever it is they've decided to dish out this week, able to keep severe depression and the thoughts of a cold and indifferent universe at bay.

It reminded me of this piece by Ian Plenderleith, published in the British football magazine When Saturday Comes all the way back in 2007. Once more, it shows an example of those in power faced with what they perceive as a new threat to their commercial integrity and intellectual property and identity rights - getting it completely wrong. The people who partake in this injoke laden theatre, and the people the authorities want to destroy or at least heavily curtail, are the most dedicated, rusted on, knowledgeable fans out there - who are thinking up this stuff even when they're not online. As Plenderleith suggests, will the clubs be sending the fuzz or the subpoena wielding lawyers down to local pubs or onto the terraces to clamp down on some git saying, 'gee, I thought Adam Van Dommelle's play was a bit stagnant last week'?

Casual football fans, whose experience of the game is from the nicer seats, whether at home or at the ground, and whose information on the team or league comes pretty much solely from acceptable mainstream sources, will scarcely come into contact with the ribald counterculture antics of the people apparently targeted by the measures suggested by the PFA. So why so much angst? Are we going to scare the children away? Is our childish namecalling so much a threat to your benevolent reality? Here's a tip guys. Yes, there's big money, and livelihoods, and legacies involved - but at its core, it's a bunch of people kicking a ball around, mostly poorly. So sue me.

Altona away highlights

A new year, with new graphics and a slightly new aesthetic - in terms of having crowd noise in from the get go. Also includes Coveny and de Moraes interviews.

Two other things that happened yesterday

Our under 21s came from behind to win 3-2! I missed our last two goals because I was busy pressing the flesh with my beloved public. Nevertheless, well done lads. The other thing of minor note was my suffering withdrawal symptoms of not being able to watch last night's Sunshine George Cross vs Heidelberg match online. Look at me, after just one live streamed game and already the rare sound blips of the live betting sites no longer cut it.

First point there in six years - Altona Magic 1 South Melbourne 1

A failed clearance from a corner gave Altona the lead - an undeserved one, as up to that point we were the better team. The 2nd half saw gradual improvement, and we managed to get some reward late on for our efforts when defensive confusion in the Altona defense gave substitute Fernando De Moreas the chance to score - and he did, after rounding Tommi Tommich, who had a solid game as you'd expetc now hat he wasn't in a South uniform. A point more than we've got there the previous 5 years. Rama was caught drifting towards the middle too often, while Rhodri Payne had a very solid game at left back. The new players showed glimpses of what we'll be capable of this year, but I'm not sold on this only one man up front business. Bentleigh at home next week.

Pumpkin Seed Eaters back for 2010

The Pumpkin Seed Eaters are back - this time with promises to put episodes out on a more consistent basis. 2010's first episode is available for download here.

Here we go again - Round 1, Altona Magic vs South Melbourne

My previews suck just as much as my reviews, and I'm not sure if I can be bothered writing them anymore.

Last Time They Met

Round 21, 2009, at Paisley Park

Magic 3 South 0

Just a woeful performance.

Preview

Still haven't won a game at Paisley Park since rejoining the VPL. Good as chance as any to get a win over these guys, who have a new largely untested squad, and former South keeper Tommi Tommich in goals - who'll probably rip out several top notch saves just to piss me off. Had my wisdom tooth surgery yesterday, and I'm recovering well enough that I should be there on Sunday to witness the hilarity.

Futsalroos win ASEAN Zone final

They beat hosts Indonesia 3-0 - Fernando started the match, but did not score any goals this time around. Hopefully this win gives our lads a good seeding in the AFC finals in May.

Futsalroos beat Vietnam; now officially through to AFC titles

Fernando came off the bench and scored twice as the Futsalroos brushed aside Vietnam 4-1 in their ASEAN zone semi-final. They'll now play Indonesia again, this coming Friday in the final of the tournament. Well done to the lads and to Nando especially.

Scenes from the class struggle

How much does a souvlaki cost at Doxa Yarraville? Well, if memory serves me correctly, about $6. Add in a drink, and you're probably close to the $10 mark, with change to spare to buy a raffle ticket. So why was Heidelberg president Nick Katsakis handing out $100 dollar notes to one of his new English recruits during the Hellenic Cup? Especially considering that it's not general practice to pay players during the pre-season? And what would those players from previous years who have allegedly not been paid - such as diehard Alexandrino Tony Ouliaris, who went on what seemed like a heartfelt and justified rant on Facebook late last year - have to say about the matter. I'm guessing they wouldn't be too happy. Thanks to the person with the camera and quick reflexes to take the photo. Of course, this is a warning that there by the grace of Zeus go I - or as one of the Beastie Boys put it, be careful what you mock, because one day you might become it.

Crowds get smaller, media gets bigger

Firstly, you may have heard that GoalWeekly has now gone national. This is terrific news for the local game and the people behind that publication.

In an even more amazing twist though. the FFV will be showing one VPL match a week via internet streaming. Now, as is well known, when the FFV does bad, I give them the appropriate of stick. So now that they're doing something really very good, I have to give them a thumbs up. Reports are that the trial run last night went real well. Principal venues will likely be Knights Stadium, Green Gully Reserve, Lakeside and Olympic Park. 

Apart from the obvious potential sponsorship opportunities, it also provides an incentive for clubs in and around the VPL to build the appropriate facilities in order to cash in on this service. And it takes up the do it yourself ethos that I'm so fond of. Good move FFV - let's hope that this thing lasts and is expanded upon in the future.

Some sort of South Melbourne outfit 0 NTC 4

Only a few what you might call senior players had a hit out - the rest were under 21s, and they didn't give too good of an account of themselves. A couple of the NTC boys were moderately impressive. The rest of the night was spent talking about classic television shows, such as E Street.

Brief pre-season interview with assistant coach David Lugli

Futsalroos move through group stage of ASEAN qualifying group

The Futsalroos have finished on top of their group of three, after winning both their group matches against Myanmar (6-1) and Indonesia (4-1). Fernando has started both games so far on the bench, but has managed to snare a goal in each game. They'll be taking on Vietnam in the semi finals on Wednesday - a win enough to see them through to the AFC titles in May.

Opening match against NTC moved to tomorrow

A reminder that our opening match of the season  - sort of, as it's not for points, but cards do count - is on tomorrow at Lakeside, at 7:45. There under 21s will also be in action beforehand, and they will be playing for points.

And sometimes you lose - Bentleigh win Hellenic Cup on penalties

We certainly had lour chances in this game, but it ultimately came down to the lottery of the penalty shootout - and despite having two shots to win it, we couldn't put either of those shots away, and thus had to settle for the runners up cheque. Pity. Some good sign though - Eddie Cetkin surprised many with a very good game in defense in particular.

All the best to Fernando and the Futsalroos

While our boys in blue will be vying for the Hellenic Cup, our very own Fernando De Moraes will be over in Indonesia with the Futsalroos, in their quest to qualify for the 2010 AFC Futsal Championships in Uzbekistan in May. First up are Burma (Myanmar) tonight, and the host nation on Monday evening. It's a group of three (as opposed to the other group of four), and the top go through to the knockout stage - where the two finalists and the winner of the 3rd/4th place playoff qualify for the AFC titles. We'll try and keep you updated as best we can, or you can keep yourself informed with the AFC's rather good website.

Hellenic Cup finals on tomorrow

At Kingston City's ground, The Grange. Our Under 21s are involved, playing against Heidelberg, at 10am, if you can be bothered going. Our women (can we still call them that?) are not involved - they've lost some key players, though the main team pushed Heidelberg in the semis last week. The senior men are playing against Bentleigh at 6pm. It's our fourth final in 5 years - a then state league 1 Bentleigh knocked us out in the quarter finals at The Grange in 2008. Bentleigh were the last team to win back to back Hellenic Cups. Four teams have won the tournament in successive attempts - Northcote (1984-85), Oakleigh (1987 and 1990), Port Melbourne (1994-95), and Bentleigh (1996-97 and 2002-03). In the great scheme of things, this tarted up pre-season guff isn't worth much. But we're here now, the prizemoney's good, and it's a very nice trophy.

The One Club Policy and its Discontent

First up, the competing press releases, starting with the SMFC one. For those who've been trying to follow the kerfuffle going on in the background, it seemed a rather sudden resolution.

SMFC – Women’s News

Monday, 15 February 2010 6:44 PM

As of today, South Melbourne FC will be directly managing all of our club’s Girls’ Sub Junior (Under 7s, 9s, 11s teams) and the Junior Girls’ Under 14 team as well.

The SMFC Girls' teams will be playing out of the Albert Park Precinct.

All coaches will be appointed by Ange Dallas (SMFC Director of Football) and Maryanne Rizopoulos (SMFC Girls’ Coordinator), and will sign SMFC contracts which include:

1. Performance Review mechanisms
2. Responsibilities schedule
3. Football Federation Victorian (FFV) Code of Conduct provisions
4. Annual player written report processes
5. Adherence to the new SMFC Curriculum

In our 51st year, the club is entering a new phase of development both in the construction of new facilities at the Albert Park precinct and more importantly in the design and implementation of the new Youth program. 2010 will be an exciting new year and earmarking the foundation process of many new initiatives in both boys' and girls' junior development. As part of the implementation of the ‘One Club Policy’, all junior boys’ teams have come under the SMFC umbrella, as are the junior girls’ teams as well.

Our Women’s Senior, Reserves, State League 3, and Under 16 teams will continue to be operated by SMWFC for the 2010 season.

For any further enquiries regarding the Junior Girls’ junior teams, please contact our SMFC Girls’ Coordinator, Maryanne Rizopoulos on 0411 968 826 or womens@smfc.com.au

The response from SMWFC was swift - and they obviously did not agree that they had agreed to anything.

South Melbourne Women's FC - Club Statement

The South Melbourne Women's Football Club (SMWFC) purpose is to promote and develop female football, both for participation and elite pathways, for example - our Senior Team achieved 3rd place last season in the Women's Premier League. The club will field the following teams in 2010: Under 9s, Under 11s, Under 14s, Under 16s, State League 3, and Women's Premier League - Seniors/Reserves. We were the first club to setup girls teams in Port Phillip in 2005, and will continue to grow as part of our Strategic Plan. We have dedicated facilities for our players and SMWFC’s members will directly benefit from the Albert Park Re-development. At present, the club does not support the South Melbourne FC's attempts to manage and control our existing girls' teams. No agreement has been made for SMFC to operate SMWFC’s teams. We strongly object to recent statements and actions made by SMFC that they will be managing our existing junior teams. Currently there are no agreements in place for SMFC’s girls teams to play out of Albert Park. SMWFC has a proud history of developing and promoting female football and will continue to do so. SMWFC's committee is more that happy to field any questions or concerns from the South Melbourne Football Family in relation to this matter. All inquiries should be directed to southmelbournewfc@gmail.com or by calling Alex on 0408 560 206.

While this particular game of tug of war is being played within South Melbourne, the core issues are those that face almost every women's sporting club attached to a men's organisation. You can change the laws to outlaw discrimination. You can put on your public relations face and say how important women's soccer participation is, and try and seem like you mean it. But in a socially conservative club like South, it has mostly been a case of bare minimums and lip service - as long as someone else does the work for the women's sides, keeps out of the way as much as possible, and as long as they understand that they will never be really equal, everyone loves women's participation in sport. There are also other issues, such as accessing SMFC and SMHSC's (amended) constitutions, which are notoriously difficult to get a copy of.

At last year's AGM there was, via the introduction of the junior revolution (and Lakeside/Albert Park redevelopment) at South, an opportunity to not only move forward in an operational sense, but also to rectify the follies of the past in a club sense, by bringing everything together under the one roof of the 'one club policy'. The main obstacle at the time was the belligerence of some of the members of the SMJFC board - what their true motives were, it's hard to be sure of. But they were soundly defeated by a near unanimous response from the SMHFC membership. The women's side giving their assent (or is that capitulation?) was presented as a mere formality. But, a few months down the track, it does not appear to be so. The women's side are attempting to assert their autonomy, and SMFC has reacted against that - with the apparent help of the junior wing, eager to get their hands on more talent. Oh, and there are some grounds at stake too...

Aside from all those issues, the problem as far as I can tell, seem to be more of poor communication. Both sides, or at least, the non disingenuous parts of both sides, want essentially the same thing, and they should be able, to come to a proper resolution if they put the sabres down. My belief is that should this battle continue to a point of irreparable damage, in the long run SMFC will win this battle. Despite whatever ambitions it may have to it, SMWFC does not own the South Melbourne name nor logo - and nor can it trace its lineage back to the original South Melbourne Hellas women's teams of 1978-82. Any advantages it may hold in the short term of being a women's only club, catering to that particular culture, won't last long, as talented junior girls seek to push themselves further, seek trophies instead of mere participation, as Victorian women's football starts to catch up to its northern counterparts, and dinosaur relics running men's clubs start to wither away. But that's just me blathering. I'm probably wrong on so many levels.

Ahmet Turer gone to Northcote

A real shame, because I liked the look of this kid - listen to me use the word kid on a 19 year old when I'm only twenty six and one half. For those new to the scene, Turer was a striker who was a key cog in the under 21s runner up team last year - he also scored a sub or two for the seniors during the season, and scored in the Football Superstar game as well. 

South Family Day this Sunday

You know the drill by now. You wake up early in the morning to watch some random music programmes on ABC2, before realising that they've converted to a near 24/7 kids channel, so ABC3 won't get lonely. And they're not even playing Rocko's Modern Life, one of the most underrated shows of all time. And for some reason, in this dream you're having, you have some kids, a girl, Persephone, and a boy, Diogenes, and they need something to do. So rather than do something fun, you decide to take them to South Melbourne Hellas Family Funday Extravanganza, which is on from 11-3 this Sunday 21st February. 

Happy Valentijn's Day!

After our 2006 championship, in late December, the club started its trials for the new season. So we found ourselves, for some reason, out in Burnley, at Kevin Bartlett Reserve, in the evening sun, playing a game against Richmond's trialists. We got smacked something like 7-1, but there's a tall blond kid who looks kind of interesting.
Then in early 2007, I was standing on the outer side of Chaplin Reserve, watching the lads have a pre-season hit out against George Cross, with a few more regulars and new signings playing, including Yusef Yusef. The tall blond kid, who rumour has it is Dutch and named Jasper, and has walked in off the street, does well in defense but looks less sure when crossing the halfway line. Bloke next to me says he looks ok, but lacks control. Cue Jasper pulling out two 360 degree turns to get himself out of trouble.

He gets a few starts in the Hellenic Cup, and we kinda assume he'd be close to getting in - after all he does get his picture taken in the new jersey on the official website - but come the start of the season he is nowhere to be seen. Not on the bench, not in the country. So that little saga was seemingly over. But whatever happened to Jasper Valentijn?

Well, his career didn't end. He kept playing back home, and in 2009, was playing in the Finnish 2nd division for Atlantis FC - the Heidelberg of Finnish football, if the following excerpt from this article is anything to go by

The problem at Atlantis boiled down to money. Like most Ykkönen clubs, Atlantis find it difficult to finance operations. Unlike most, they signed new players while failing to pay those already under contract, before sacking the coach and bringing in a new man after a poor start to the season.

So several players walked, amongst them Valentijn, to FC Honka, where he's still apparently on the list at Pallohonka, FC Honka's 2nd division feeder club. Before we let you go, here's some more things we've learnt about Jasper.

• He was a product of Heerenveen.
• His dad, Jos Valentijn, was a speed skater in the 1970s.
• His mum, Haitske Pijlman, was also a speed skater.
• His sister, Rikst, was a competitve gymnast

Phil Taverna Testimonial Game - South Melbourne 2 Heidelberg 0

Good enough I guess, efficient enough when we needed to be, and they gave up after the second goal, mostly, after putting in a decent effort before that. On to the final next week against either Oakleigh or Bentleigh.

Brunswick City 1 South Melbourne 7

They had creaming soda. Their only goal came after our keeper let a regulation catch bounce straight through his hands for a goal. The squad mostly made up oif under 21s acquitted themselves fairly well. It was pretty dark by the end.

Another friendly

South Melbourne FC vs Brunswick City, Friday, February 12th, 7pm. Their ground is, Dunstan Reserve, 22c Peacock Street, West Brunswick. Easily amongst the best souvlaki I've had at a suburban ground. Apparently this game is to celebrate Brunswick City's 40th anniversary, as worthy as cause as any I suppose. by the way, Brunswick City should not be confused with 1960s Greek club Brunswick Athena, which seemingly fell off the face of the earth in 1972 (there has to be a good story there, but what it is I do not know). Brunswick City Leonidas were known as Thornbury from 1970-79, moving to Brunswick and taking the Leonidas name in 1980.

South Melbourne 3 Northcote 0

Reasonably comfortable victory - our better finishing was my major factor in the scoreline taking that shape, but we generally also controlled the midfield in a rather messy game. Next up is the semi final on Saturday, 4:30, against either Heidelberg or Lalor.

Hellenic Cup update

We'll be playing Northcote in the quarter finals on Wednesday at Yarraville. Winner of that plays the winner of the Heidelberg vs Lalor match. In less relevant news, having nothing better to do,  I was at Yarraville today and ended up having a chat with former South youth player and cult favourite Lester Abalos' mum. She has heaps of pride and passion, I'll give her that.

South season launch, er, launched

The season launch or Jersey Presentation night is back to more familiar surrounds at Albert by the Lake, on Friday 26th February, cost $105. All things being equal, South of the Border will be there. Will it be more or less eventful than last time? We'll see.

South Melbourne 10 Keon Park 0

Pretty much as you'd expect considering the massive gulf in divisions. We'll probably finish top of the group now, meaning we'll very likely play Northcote next Wednesday. Or in the very unlikely event that we finish second in our group, we'll probably play Heidelberg next Thursday. But I'd recommend keeping the evening of Wednesday 10th open.