Friday, 12 March 2010

South of the Border welcomes the Kiss of Death - Round 3, 2010, match previews

Someone out there has finally cracked. They've grown weary after enduring the endless, mind numbing and poorly formatted pieces that pass for match previews on this site, and have decided to take up the famous Kiss of Death role on here. Of course, the anonymity of the Kiss of Death will be a tightly guarded secret, unless of course they choose to out themselves - suffice to say, it isn't me.

So welcome Kiss of Death to the South of the Border stable - let's hope you don't go the way of our last - and only prior regular contributor - Cliff Hussey, who's been missing in action since the end of 2008 (where he would write match reports for us), with reports being that he either joined a vampire fetish cult of some sort, or is too busy living it up as much as he can before he, like millions of teenagers before him he comes to realise how much of a tool he was at that age. Nah, Cliff's alright. But that haircut...

KISS OF DEATH - Round 3, 2010

Bentleigh Greens vs Altona Magic
Bentleigh Greens to win this one 2-1. The Magic will struggle down at Kingston Heath Soccer Complex. The facility does not suit their wide playing midfielders. On a positive note, Bentleigh is playing the NTC 2 days earlier, but as expected will field a stock standard 'who gives a shit’ side. The peanut man to make a killing down at his beloved Pangyprios.

Northcote City vs South Melbourne - The battle of the ‘sister clubs’.
Northcote City are looking for their first win in this years VPL campaign and so are South Melbourne. Northcote is yet to gain a point after 2 rounds, whereas South Melbourne have drawn 2 against Altona Magic away, and Bentleigh at home. South Melbourne to continue Northcote’s battle to stay up with a convincing 0-3 win away from home. A good crowd is expected, Greek dancing, Greek music on the PA, and a queue as far as the eye can see to purchase food and drinks. Ahmet Turer to do absolutely nothing.

Green Gully Cavaliers vs Oakleigh Cannons
Green Gully to convincingly put away Oakleigh 2-0, with plenty of missed chances. Jerry Karpeh to cost Oakleigh at least three clear goals. After this game, an inquisition will be held down at Jack Edwards Reserve.

Dandenong Thunder vs Richmond
Dandy Funder to get their second win this season against the mixed bag of Richmond.
In what has been an expected slow start by Dandy, this will just be a flash in the pan performance. Poor results to continue for both sides this season.

Melbourne Knights vs Sunshine Georgies
Melbourne Knights to let Sunshine George Cross know why they are paying rent. Melbourne Knights to win 3-1 with a performance more polished than their 3-3 draw against the Bergers. In what was a stroke of coaching madness, the Knights let a 3-1 lead with ten minutes to go wash away into Melbourne's wild weather. Knights to teach Sunshine George Cross a lesson in football fluency.

Heidelberg United vs Hume City
As they drive home from the Village with 3 points in the bag, Hume will be left to ponder what could’ve been a record victory. A miserly 1-0 victory should’ve been at least 7, but when you play the Bergers on a terrible pitch, in piss poor conditions, in front of a crowd of 85 (excluding the bar staff and officials), low scores are expected. They only play to beat South.

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