Novermber 2014 digest

Some of the things that happened in November.

I'm reliably told that when we do it, it's called recruiting, not poaching.
Bonel 'Bones' Obradovic, central midfielder from Oakleigh, also ex-Northcote. Milos Lujic seems particularly pleased with this signing. David Stirton, a forward of sorts, arrives from Bentleigh Greens - maybe he wasn't Queenslander enough to play there. Luke Adams, a Kiwi defender with an Aussie passport. Also Andy Brennan from South Hobart. Brennan is a forward/winger, and the standout player in Tasmania over the past few years. This will be his second stint in the Victorian topflight, after his 2013 stint with Bentleigh was ruined by an osteitis pubis injury.

Chris Taylor has also been signed to what the club is calling a 'long term' deal, without specifying what long term means. The inference seems to be that Taylor will also be doing something like a technical director's role, which seems funny to me, because I thought that the roles of senior head coach and technical directors at NPL clubs were supposed to be separate by now.

Lastly, assistant coach Graham Hockless has left for Queensland. His replacement will be the recently retired Tsiaras. Some more obsessive and/or observant readers of South related media may have noted that I hinted towards that signing on the South Facebook page. Honestly, it was a lucky guess. Also, the meaning of the word 'honestly' has now changed.

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it/When everyone's special, no one is/That's not enough! We demand MORE asbestos! MORE asbestos! MORE asbestos!
First up, we have the addition to NPL1 of Eastern Jets/Nunawading-without- anyone-from-the-real-Nunawading/Dr Angelo Postekos' Football Young Talent Time Superstar XFactor Dream Factory, and Murray United, who had already been granted licences from the original contingent of applicants with a year's delay so they could get up to speed in their own time. Then, because of the deal the FFV was forced into with the Coalition of the Unwilling last year, Moreland City and Eastern Lions - the winners of their respective State League 1 divisions have accepted the opportunity to move into NPL1. But no Preston. Seriously. They didn't win their respective title - they blew it in the last two rounds. If they're good enough, maybe they can join in 2016.

Also, Victory and Heart's youth teams are into the NPL Victoria, but not in our division - they'll start in NPL1, which is now split into two conferences, East and West. Everyone plays everyone in their own conference twice, and the teams from the other side once. It's like an oldskool NFL season, only with more chance of teams going bust and worse facilities that teams will be begging local governments to upgrade. Anyway, back to Victory and Heart. Some people will no doubt be aware that players from NPL teams, like our own Andy Kecojevic, play for those teams in National Youth League season (if you can call that handful of a games a season). Will those players choose to stick it out with their 'winter' clubs, or will they move across to their holiday house A-League setups on a permanent basis?

And also, are there enough facilities for everyone? Are there enough players? Are there enough coaches? Is there enough money?

Or, in other words...



Or, as a very wise man on soccer-forum.net said...

Can't see the problem here.

The clubs voted for this system/structure.

The clubs sued the FFV for this.

The clubs voted for all clubs to be given a fair and equal consideration.

The only thing the FFV have done is implement what the clubs wanted.

Are we suggesting that some clubs are more equal than others??

Survey 
I wonder if the results of the South Melbourne fans survey, even if just given in a gist, will ever be released? Probably more chance of the FFV's NPL facilities audit being made public. Also, when's the AGM?

On honouring soccer's Australian history, even those stupid wogs who spent 27 years in that trench warfare filled cesspit of history called the NSL. Did I mention the NSL sucked? Also, let's put the museum in Sydney.
Museums. They're actually complicated things to fund, locate and set up. For instance, where should history be stored and presented? Can a nation's soccer heritage be stored and presented effectively in just one location? What benefits are there in putting non-Sydney histories in Sydney, away from their origins? If non-Sydney centric materials aren't sent to Sydney, would a national soccer museum based in Sydney end up telling an almost inevitably Sydney centric version of history? What is the role of historians for Australian soccer? Is it to confront the myths and mythologisers or is it to jump onto whichever bandwagon is in charge at the time, in the hope of gaining more patronage, and isn't that something that could be asked of so many people in the game right now? What's the story they and/or we want to tell about Australia's soccer history, and who'll get to tell it?

Here are some of the thoughts I made on a Kevin Moore keynote address about the founding of England's National Football Museum, many of which would need to be considered I think in any attempt to recreate such an enterprise here:

First up was the keynote address by Kevin Moore, from England's National Football Museum. How do you create a museum for the entirety of the game, in a nation that has such fervour for the game? It's not easy. But Kevin Moore says you start off by not targeting it at die hard football fans, because they'll turn up anyway.

Because you see football as part of broader society, you don't try and gloss over all the negatives in the game's history, including the stadium tragedies, the violence, racism, misogyny and homophobia, no matter how distasteful these issues are to some. You provide an outlet for people to create and provide their own memories, within reason.

You do not make yourself the be all and end all of historical preservation. You work with local communities to find ways of preserving local history locally, and only step in to preserve history as a last resort. You try and tell stories, not just provide facts and figures. You recognise the importance of topophilia, but you do not become a slave to it, in part because football topophilia can be expressed in several ways.

In summary, Kevin Moore provided a very interesting look at the development of the National Football Museum, from its beginnings in Preston to its move to Manchester. Moore talked about the difficulties in securing funding, the fact that there is no national sports museum in England, and that the museum in some ways has to compete against Premier League club museums, which seek to tell a very different, hagiographic story, and which are often not standalone enterprises, but part of the 'stadium experience'.

The key parts for me are about hagiographies and local histories.With regards to the latter in particular, the emphasis should be on teaching local institutions - clubs, federations, local councils, whatever's relevant - how to maintain and preserve their own local histories locally. Australian soccer is such a diverse experience that to move it all into Parramatta (hypothetically) would be denying local people from being able to learn and add to their own soccer narratives, while replicating a top down approach to preserving history.

On the other hand...
Is the writer of the original article actually being serious? Considering he has to have a dig at the past for reasons I'm not sure of - except, possibly, because it's the right/cool/expected thing to do if you're not Joe Gorman, who is addicted to the street cred one gets as Anglo-Australian soccer fan hanging out with bitter wogs; at least that's my extrapolation of some stupid comment I read responding to one of his posts in The Guardian, probably the article on Middle Park -  I don't see the point, if that's going to be the dominant attitude. I mean, is it really going be worthwhile having a museum which will be:

1. Kings School vs Wanderers
2. Football doesn't exist outside of Sydney and, at a pinch, Newcastle.
3. 1974 Socceroos.
4. Huge gap due to ethnic strife.
5. Frank Lowy is grouse and stuff.

At least I learned what the word 'internecine' means.

Victorian Election Part 1 (Number 1 ticket holder vs wheeled after five years of waiting for the social club vs the bloke who put his hand up and then said for Number 1 ticket holder anyway).
Well, after a tough race between the shadow arts minister and current sitting member Martin Foley, and the Liberal candidate wheeled out when the Liberals finally signed the lease - and Tex Perkins, who once Foley said Labor would fund the repair and restoration of the Palais, said basically you don't need to vote for me anymore - it looks like at this stage that Foley will get retain the seat of Albert Park. Now where's the fuck is our social club?

Victorian Election Part 2 (Someone's crusin' for a bruisin'/Next year in Jerusalem) 

Speaking of the social club.

@cindyn liberal member in Doncaster saw my South top and took credit for the lease, I told him we're still waiting for the social club cash.
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) November 28, 2014

In case you missed it
Me and Pave Jusup  talking about how much the NCIP sucks. Ian Syson is more ambivalent about it. Roy Hay thinks it's grouse.

Does not compute/pots and kettles/γαϊδούρια και πετινούς
So apparently earlier this month Perth Glory played a Cheltenham based souvlaki joint in the semi-finals of some kind of nationwide soccer tournament. Anyone got any idea what that was about? And to make things really absurd, the bloke who wrote this, is now noting in this article the patronising souvlaki commentary. YOU COULD NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

Bitter is as bitter as does/Fuck this cunt and his never-ending lap of honour/"And how we just made fun of those who had the guts to try and fail"
A lot of people have been getting all misty eyed over the apparent retirement of Les Murray (the soccer pundit, not the poet, and the fact that I'm not as spiteful of the latter as I am of the former these days is disturbing). As for myself, the first thing that's thrown me is that I thought that Laszlo was already more or less retired, because when was he on TV anyway? Was he on The World Game while it was still buried at 11pm on SBS2 on whatever day it was scheduled? Anyway, people have been lining up to offer their praises on a worthwhile career promoting the game, and more power to them and to him, as he did put in the hard yards over the journey. However, one bit of misplaced praise in this grizzled nostalgia fueled marathon has really pissed me off, and that's the recent line Les has been trying to spin about being a friend of the ethnic clubs, and 'why oh why are we so mean to them?'


And of all people to be asking the question in the most recent notable case, it had to be Mark Bosnich. The same Mark Bosnich who can't decide if we should  or shouldn't have ethnic clubs in the A-League. Now the reason of course that I get upset at Murray's commentary is because SBS - the supposed promoter of multiculturalism and of migrant communities - has in my most honest and considered opinion (as seen through red mists of rage and possibly incidentally coinciding with Ezequiel Trumper's thoughts on this matter) long forfeited any right to speak on behalf of Australia's ethnic communities. And this is not just because SBS has long exorcised non-English language programming off its prime time schedule on its primary station, and filled SBS2 with American sitcom repeats. It's because when it came time for SBS's soccer pundits - including Murray - to stand up and defend the migrant and ethnic soccer milieu from its detractors, they were found wanting.

For me, the most glaring example is of course the hatchet job Southern Cross A-League bid profile, a piece so vile that even one of the people behind our then rival bids for A-League expansion (Canberra United) could only shake his head at how bizarre it was. If that sounds like I've got a massive chip on my shoulder, so be it, but I don't think there's any need to apologise for holding that stance. I'm not going to begrudge anyone that wants to get a little misty eyed for Les' final bow, but as for me, this bloke sums up my feelings on the matter.

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about
Those crazy Melbourne Keniggets fans. Some of them seem to like talking about South even more than I do. More of it, I say.

You can always sleep through work tomorrow
- OK, I'm done.
- You're done?
- Yeah, there's no point in dragging this crap out any longer. Do you want to do the thing?
- Sure. You're reading South of the Border, the South Melbourne Hellas blog that hates old people just because it can.

Joe Gorman on Middle Park in The Guardian

Just in case you've missed it on its various Facebook and Twitter incarnations, Joe Gorman has recently written an excellent piece on Middle Park for the Guardian. It includes interviews and reminiscences from Mike Mandalis, Jimmy Armstrong, Kimon Taliadoros, Ange Postecoglou, Francis Awaritefe and friend of South of the Border Pavlaki. It also includes speculative commentary on the future by Tom Kalas.

It was cold last night - Pascoe Vale 0 South Melbourne 3

Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

It was cold last night - cold like being told by a former contributor that he hasn't read the blog since round 3. The Hosken Reserve pitch was wet, too, but there was plenty of grass on it at least, and no under 20s curtain raiser meant that we could spend more time eating the wonderful wood-fired pizzas (and the olives off Pavlaki's pizza because he apparently can't stand olives) and in my case a chinotto, too, which made the experience go up a notch from last year's already classy dining experience.

It was cold last night - cold like being the self proclaimed star of the show, but being benched by the coach for being a dickhead. Nick Epifano was reputedly dropped for disciplinary reasons, while Jamie Reed and Shaun Timmins, possibly due to injury concerns, also dropped out of the first eleven. Tim Mala was back in after serving his one match suspension, while Leigh Minopoulos also came into the starting eleven following a vacation related absence. Matthew Theodore rounded out the starting lineup. For their part, Pascoe Vale had five former South players in their starting lineup - Stefaan Sardelic, Carl Recchia, Marco Santilli, Joseph Youssef and James Stefanou. It was another one of those bizarre reunions that happen in the VPL/NPL, because that's how many players we've churned through over the past decade.

It was cold last night - and almost incessantly rainy, too, so much so that I spent the first half using my umbrella not only for my own protection, but also as impromptu shelter for South's official photographer Cindy Nitsos. It was the least I could do considering how many of her photos I've used this season. In the second half, the umbrellas behind the goal South was attacking formed an impromptu terrace roof, albeit probably blocking the view of the people standing in the only covered area available at the ground. At least we weren't playing in Ballarat.

Leigh Minopoulos slips the ball past Pascoe Vale 'keeper
Stefaan Sardelic to open the scoring. Photo: Cindy Nitsos. 

It was cold last night - so cold that at one point in the match Brad Norton asked me to fetch a ball that had gone over the perimeter fence, because he couldn't feel his hands. Hey, at least I got two separate people praising my sterling effort of jogging five metres to my right. The players from both sides struggled in the conditions, but schoolboy errors didn't help either. Theodore's lack of movement towards a ball passed to him while we were in attack with plenty of numbers committed forward saw Pascoe Vale fly up the other end, and we were lucky not to fall behind. Leigh Minopoulos opened the scoring after receiving a through ball from Iqi Jawadi, picking his spot relatively early to give us the upper hand.

It was cold last night - so cold, that when Clarendon Corner's spit roast 'Ellas, ole!' chant failed to gain any traction, my response from the corner flag to the call from the other side of the goals was greeted with 'that doesn't count'. The weather was so bad, that when someone mentioned that only the brave had turned up, only the true supporters, I sabotaged the moment by saying only the stupid had turned up.

Former South keeper Stefaan Sardelic kicks out at
 Tyson Holmes. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

It was cold last night - cold like a soccer scoreboard which doesn't reflect the ebb and flow of a game, only the trouncing that eventuated. Pascoe Vale were more than competitive in this game up until early in the second half, when Sardelic had collected the ball but also decided to apparently lash out at Tyson Holmes. I was right there next to the goals, but I'm going to go with being unsighted and only half paying attention, because when a keeper collects the ball isn't it the natural inclination of the spectator to switch off for a few seconds? Lujic took the penalty, slamming it down the middle. The substitute keeper got a hand to it, but there was no way that he was going to keep it out. Probably only Peter Zois playing an absolute blinder as he did in this game could have stopped it (and here's the video version, with legendary commentating and awful background music).

Sardelic gets sent off for kicking Holmes. Photo: Cindy Nitsos

It was cold last night - but not so cold that at 3-0 up, Lujic's death stare at not receiving a pinpoint cross from Minopoulos didn't drop the temperature even further. At 2-0 up Lujic had provided a neat cross for Minopoulos to score his second, but Leigh could not quite return the favour. Me, I blame Milos for not running to the right spot, as Leigh had done for his goal. At 3-0 up and now cruising, Jawadi managed to get himself a second yellow card and a sending off in a fracas of sorts near the benches. Whatever the cause of said argle bargle, it means Iqi will miss the next match. But by my calculations, they were also his fourth and fifth yellow cards for the season - so does that mean he'll miss an extra game on top of that? Someone said today that there is a provision for this which could see the two yellows converted to a red card, leaving Iqi on three yellows as before, and missing the one week. But it all depends on the ref's report and it's best for the club to investigate this thoroughly lest we do something stupid like play a suspended player.

It was cold last night - so cold that that car alarm which went off in the local neighborhood rang out for ten minutes towards the end of the game, and yet no one, not the car's owner, not a cranky neighbour, nor even a local street punk bothered to come out of their homes to silence it, either by either legitimate or dubious means. Missing the train back from Merlynston station by a minute, and hiding inside the bare passenger cubicle they call a shelter for 30 minutes didn't help alleviate the chill, my hands losing all colour, the glory of the win and being one step closer to a championship warming me up, at best, on a theoretical level.

Next game
Bentleigh away on Wednesday. At the time of writing, we were ten points ahead of Oakleigh with six games to play, though Oakleigh had not yet played their round 21 match away against Northcote.

New project - Victorian and Australian soccer library
I have no idea what the hell I'm doing with this, and how popular it may or may not be. But for the moment my frustration at the hoarding tendencies of some Australian soccer collectors, combined with the difficulty in sourcing much material readily for the non-academic Australian soccer fan, as well as finally being taught how to use my scanner without needing to go through Photoshop or associated programs (white space editing be damned), has prompted me to get started on this 'thing' which I've called a library for want of a better term.

At the moment it is of course a pretty sparse cupboard, but with your help I hope to be able to expand the collection. So far, I have some Victorian Soccer Federation yearbooks, a couple of annual reports and some miscellaneous items, but I'm hoping to add some club histories as well. My pseudo-anarchist leanings mean that my intention is for people to download and share the materials as widely as possible.

Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, or so they say

@PaulMavroudis Similar, but different.. http://t.co/4tVekNIC1y
— Simon Pincic (@simonpincic) August 2, 2014

For an explanation of what's going on here, refer to my 'final thought' from a couple of weeks ago. I really don't know what to make of this, especially since it's not in blog format yet. A classic case of the unheimlich if ever I saw one.

Around the grounds
Two mysteries solved
I had been coerced into agreeing to go to Hoppers Crossing vs Bell Park, but the coercer eventually coerced himself into doing some work (or something), so I was gloriously (or terrifyingly if you're into Sartre) free to choose my own entertainment. And thus I ended up at Altona East once again, who were taking on Westgate.

When last we caught up with Altona East, their coach had resigned after leading the team into the relegation zone. Despite not playing a game last week, a points deduction to Altona Magic for some indiscretion or other saw East' next door neighbour take their place in second last. Still, that was small relief when Westgate raced to a 2-0 lead early in this game, with the home team struggling to get anything going at all. But then thanks to a Westgate a keeper error - he dropped the ball - and a deflection from a speculative effort, East went into halftime level at 2-2. A backheeled goal made it 3-2 to East, and that's how it's ended up.

Now, as to the mysteries. While flicking through the 1985 Victorian Soccer Federation yearbook, I saw that East Altona were described as wearing yellow shirts, green shorts and yellow socks. How could this be? How could the club known as PAOK not be wearing black and white? Well, as it turns out, when the club started in 1979 - ostensibly as a junior club, playing out of Altona North Primary School - the folks who kicked things off didn't really have a very strong idea of what they wanted the club to be. PAOK was eventually adopted as a formal name, but it was a fairly informal name for a long time. The colours were chosen based on the fact that, 'Well, what colours should we choose?' 'Well we're in Australia, let's choose the Australian colours' and that's how it came to be.

Apparently the green and gold colour scheme lasted up until about 1985. Certainly by the late 1980s, East Altona is a black and white team. But what happened to Altona East in 1988? Apparently they bought out a mob called St Kilda, and played the second half of the 1988 season under that name. St Kilda (a post Hellas-Hakoah merger offshoot of St Kilda-Hakoah people?) disappears in 1989 before re-emerging briefly afterwards. So, a couple of questions answered and good win to PAOK to boot.

Also learned some info about the relationship between Yarraville Doxa (Glory), the demise of Melbourne Hungaria, and Hawksburn, which is probably best left to another occasion.

 - with thanks to Fred Dimitriou for the historical information.

Final thought
Even though I didn't get to meet him, a big thank you to Pascoe Vale president Lou Tona for his hospitality, it's very much appreciated.

Social Club Artefact Wednesdays - Paul Wade statuette (updated)

Genuine Paul Wade Socceroo statuette, as previously on display in the old
South Melbourne Hellas museum. I don't know who broke his arm,
 all I know is that wasn't me. Photo: Paul Mavroudis, on a budget digital camera,
 with clearly no idea about proper lighting.

I believe this item was in one of the glass display cabinets in our old museum. If you pay close attention, you can see that Paul Wade's left arm is broken - by what circumstance I do not know - and that someone has tried to patch it up using some sticky tape.

Quite what's going on here I'm not exactly sure. OK, so it's easy to tell that it's Paul Wade, one time South Melbourne Hellas and Socceroo captain (at the same time! Have a think about that fact kids!), and it's a reasonable likeness. Though it might just be me, but does his head look really elongated? Also, loved that jersey as well. Also, how about them white socks? Good to see they're bringing those back for the Socceroos world cup strip next year. It looks like they may also be signed as well, if you look next to the Mitre ball.

Genuine Paul Wade Socceroo statuette, belonging to beloved South fan
and friend of South of the Border Pavlaki, in much better condition
than the one the club owned. Also a much a better photo. 

If you want to see what one of these looks like in a far better condition - and with proper lighting - on the left hand side is one that our friend Pavlaki uploaded to Twitter a few months back to celebrate Paul Wade's arrival on Twitter (you can find him at @wadey06).

But who made these? How many were made? Where could you buy one? Were they made for other players as well or just for Wadey? Were these made in conjunction with his autobiography? Do any of our readers have their own Wadey statuette, or can fill in any details about this item?


Update! (16/8/2017)
Look, this is slightly embarrassing from my point of view, because it turns out I had the answer at my fingertips all along; or rather, the answer was located in a box in my house. For you see, some time ago (I think it was last year) through a complicated and rather dull arrangement I had borrowed a selection of Mark Boric's soccer magazine and match programme collection. The purpose of this was to scan and upload stuff for everyone, what with my access to half decent scanning at technology at uni... well wouldn't you know it I let everyone down. I got a little bored, but also pretty busy, and also the dam scanner started getting erratic with what it thought was a proper scan, and things just didn't get done. All up, mostly my fault, but also the fault of technology. Still, I got a few things uploaded, but missed some great stuff.

Anyway, last week I arranged for Mark to collect his stuff, and to borrow some copies of Soccer Action (from another friend of the blog, Con) that weren't in Mark's uploaded collection yet. Mark has already gone nuts in making up for all the lost time, uploading a stack of materials. And then in a Twitter discussion Mark was having with fellow match programme fiend Miles McClagan mention is made of a Paul Wade statue on page of 24 in the February-March 1993 edition of Soccer Australia magazine. It could only be one thing

Well, while the advertisement and order form pictured right doesn't say who made these, it still lets us know how you could get one and how much they cost, which was a staggering $189 plus $10 for postage, which is apparently $357.48 in today's money according to some maybe dodgy inflation calculator I used. Which seems very expensive, especially for a piece of Australian soccer memorabilia.

South inches closer to finals as 2013 Southern Stars games ruled null and void

VPL Ladder as at 4:01PM 18/9/13. Screenshot: Pavlaki

After what seemed to the pleb Victorian football fan like an interminable wait, the FFV have come out and ruled all of Southern Stars 2013 senior results as null and void. It was a tough call to make, but ultimately the right one.

It is more than arguable that some teams have been disadvantaged by this decision, while others have benefited, and the latter are made up of those who gave up points to Southern Stars. However, the argument can also be made that the teams that dropped points were playing the real Southern Stars, as opposed to the one that is now seen as hopelessly compromised.

On the losing side are Melbourne Knights, who were within reach of a possible minor premiership; Port Melbourne, potentially dragged back into the finals race, after having 'sealed' their finals presence last week; Green Gully, who now probably need to win both their remaining matches; and Pascoe Vale who, if Richmond get three points tonight, could be facing a relegation playoff match on Sunday - if relegation exists, of course, what with all this NPL Victoria speculation still doing the rounds.

On the flip side, Northcote have now sealed the minor premiership; South is a little closer to getting a finals berth, with the chance of perhaps getting a home game in week one; and Richmond has one more chance to try and get itself out of that relegation scenario mentioned above.

Of course, the players who scored goals in those games will have those expunged as well, and the goal difference stakes have also been changed. Not sure on yellow cards gained in those contests though.

So the situation for South has changed from this after last week's draw with Northcote, to the situation below.

• If we beat Port, we're into the finals regardless of Gully's results - most likely finishing in fourth place and with an elimination final against Port or Gully.
• If Gully wins both games, and we lose or draw to Port, we are out.
• If Gully wins one game and draws the other, we need to at least draw with Port, and hope Gully's win is by no more than three goals.
• One win and one loss for Gully means they are eliminated, unless they can make up the goal difference (+3 in South's favour, with more goals scored) in their win or South gets belted on Sunday.
• Anything less than three points for Gully, and we don't have to do squat to make finals.

Once again, things will of course be much clearer after tonight's fixtures.

Too Much Entertainment - South Melbourne 3 Pascoe Vale 2

This article is late partly because I went out drinking, in my own very limited way.

I have even less idea than usual of what happened at this game. I mean, you tell me what was going on out there on Sunday evening?

For some reason we played at 5:00 instead of 3:00. Rather than being a cold, windy evening, the weather was unusually pleasant. We came into this game with some sort of form. Several results went our way. And I swear the canteen people also keep changing their kransky supplier, and despite being overpriced at $7.50 (and I swear they used to be $8), they actually have some flavour to them now.

As for the game itself, we got the good start, courtesy of a Nicky Soolsma header, and we must have been thinking to ourselves, OK, good, now to really take these guys to the cleaners. Except Pascoe Vale didn't stack the defence after that shaky start, and decided that they would instead try and win this game.

The first goal we conceded was bad enough, but what happened with the second? Why did Holmes have his arms out so far? Was he calling for offside? Was he playing for a foul? Either way, hands shouldn't be out there, right call was made, and we're 2-1 down. Gavalas isn't the best penalty saver in the world, but he made the right choice this time - but Ferrante's spot kick was well placed.

But at least we went into half time level. After several close calls - including one that hit the back post from long range from Holmes, who just can't take a trick - Luke Hopper continued his rich vein of form, by opening up the angle, shooting, and getting what looked like a deflection past Sardelic in goal.

Speaking of Sardelic, I thought he did quite well for the most part, but my goodness his kicking is still dire, especially his drop punts.

But back to Hopper again, isn't it amazing what happens when you have two up front, so you don't have the situation where a lone forward is swamped by defenders, and they are able to find space to shoot? When was the last time we did that on a consistent basis?

I know I complain about Soolsma not using his left foot, but maybe it doesn't matter if he's going to put in good cross after good cross with his right foot. For our third and decisive goal, he destroyed the Pascoe Vale defender with his fancy footwork, even though surely everyone knew where Soolsma wanted go, before putting the cross right on top of Rixon's head, the latter guiding it home for his sixth of the season.

But again, credit to the visitors who kept coming, who unfortunately just couldn't beat the offside trap. Except for that time where they did, courtesy of a howler of a non-call from the assistant referee on the far side, when it seemed completely obvious that the Pascoe Vale player was at least five metres offside RIGHT IN FRONT OF SAID LINESPERSON.

Apart from some desperate, clumsy, awkward defending from our end - which for the most part looked less desperate, clumsy and awkward than the last few weeks, though that's not necessarily saying much - I felt Pascoe Vale's best chance would come from a free kick near goal, with Michael Ferrante alway a dangerous proposition from that range. He got one shot at it, but sent the shot just wide, and I think we all breathed a little easier after that.

Chris Taylor seems to really hate making substitutions, Only one was made yesterday, Kearney on for Holmes, and that was very late on in proceedings. Usually a coach will make at least a couple, and with enough time for them to make an impact. Gus Tsolakis often his subs way too late for my lining, while Johnny A's were so predictable that they showed no initiative. Taylor either doesn't trust his bench, or doesn't see the need to change what he sees as his preferred starting eleven unless absolutely necessary.

The refereeing started off poor and went downhill from there. We probably copped the rough end of the stick for the most part, but Brian Bran may be counting himself lucky after an incident in the six yard box towards the end of the game. Our (and Trent's) old friend Milardovic got sent off late, not quite sure what for.

So another week where we made life very hard for ourselves. But also another week where we managed to get three points despite that. It did make me wonder if there could be such a thing as a season with too much entertainment, where you would wish that we could just have a dour 1-0 or 2-0 win.

So, without wanting to look too far ahead into the future, here's where we are at. We're still nine points behind first placed Northcote, so I guess we can rule out reaching their mark. We're six points (and two goals) behind second placed Melbourne Knights, who we play this week. We're two points behind third placed Port Melbourne (level on goal difference), so the double chance is still well in play. We're level on points with fourth placed Bentleigh Greens, (but five goals behind).

We're three points ahead of sixth placed Green Gully, who still have a game in hand. And we're also three points ahead of Hume City, who have an atrocious goal difference. Even with their game in hand each, you can probably discount Oakleigh and Dandenong from the finals race, even though they are still a mathematical possibility of making it - but they're both seven points outside the five at the moment.

So, how many points do we need to make the finals? Double chance? All that will become much clearer after this week, as apart from our game, Port hosts Bentleigh on Friday night. Three wins I reckon will get us the double chance. Two wins and a draw should get us into finals. Two wins and a loss and you're dealing with goal difference. Anything less than that and you're seriously playing with fire.

Lastly, it was also good to meet several and new old faces again. Met Lefteri the security guard from Greece. Met another old bloke at the tram stop, who was also wondering why Elias Donoudis won't call us Hellas any more. Also caught up with Bill Vandermey, and finally met Jake as well, who missed the game through injury.

Steve From Broady's Under 21s Report
South Melbourne's under 21s took on Pascoe Vale at Lakeside Stadium on Sunday afternoon, at the later kick off time of 2.45PM. South kicked off and the first half was extremely uneventful with both teams making no real chances (what about when Pascoe Vale hit the crossbar? Ed.). The teams went into the half time break locked at 0-0. The second half kicked off and it took 20 minutes for the game to kick into gear when Pascoe Vale played a long ball into the area, it giving them the first real chance of the game. There was a massive scramble outside the six yard box and the Pascoe Vale number 11 managed to put the ball past three defenders on the line and the keeper to give the visitors a 1-0 lead 65 minutes in. South struggled to get into gear for the rest of the game. and three minutes from time Pascoe Vale's number 11 popped up again to score a standard goal firing past the keeper from close range to put South out of there misery. 2-0 to Pascoe Vale it finished. South Melbourne's under 21s miserable season rolls on, away to Melbourne Knights next week, hopefully we can snatch a win against our old rivals.

Steve From Broady's Canteen Report
I was at the South food van for the second last time on Sunday. It was quite an excellent souv I indulged in, and I had an epic bottle of h2o. I give South's food van a 9 out of 10 for this week. Can they crack the perfect 10 on the last home game of the season? Until then, get around it!!!!!

1.Pascoe Vale 10/10
2.Oakleigh Cannons 9.5/10
3.Hume City 8/10
4.Bentleigh Greens 7/10
5.Richmond 6.5/10
6.Northcote City 3.5/10
7.Southern Stars 2/10
8.Green Gully 1/10
9.Dandenong DQ

South food truck
•Week 1 - 4.5/10
•Week 2 - 7/10
•Week 3 - 8.5/10
•Week 4 - 5/10
•Week 5 - 5.5/10
•Week 6 - 9/10
•Week 7 - 6/10
•Week 8 - 7.5/10
•Week 9 - 8/10
•Week 10 - 9/10

Around the Grounds
Altona East vs Moreland City was our non-South soccer outlet this week. Moreland dominated the opening half, should have been two or three up at halftime, even with the disallowed goal. Second half much more even contest. Moreland had another goal disallowed, squandered several chances, but credit to East who overcame their first half malaise and scored the only goal of this contest.

Panoramic shot of Paisley Park taken during half time. Click to enlarge. Photo: Ian Syson. 

For the record, the souv was freaken awesome. That'll teach Steve from Broady to stay home to watch the Wallabies lose, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I'D TOLD HIM WOULD HAPPEN. Some kind of seer I am predicting that result, eh?

I Re-Tweet, Therefore I Am
Congratulations to Steve from Broady who finally learned how to retweet on Twitter. You can follow him at @stevorch.

NPLV Latest
Would have loved to be in the courtroom to see this part of the action kick off, but alas, a different kind of duty called. We tried to line up a guest court reporter appearance from one of our readers, but sadly we couldn't make it work. According to 'Mahony' on the 442 forums, next court date is September 23, a week before the successful NPLV bids are announced.

Next Week
Knights away.

Final Thought

Tired Of Writing This Week - Oaks vs South preview

So Here's The Match Preview As Stolen From The FFV's Official Preview Service

Oakleigh Cannons (9th) vs South Melbourne (7th)
Sun 3:15pm, Jack Edwards Reserve

Round 17
Dandenong Thunder 3-1 Oakleigh Cannons
South Melbourne 6-1 Hume City

VPL History
Oakleigh Cannons win: 6
South Melbourne win: 9
Draw: 3
Last time they met: South Melbourne 2-1 Oakleigh Cannons

Form
Oakleigh Cannons: DWWWL
South Melbourne: DLWDW

Could this be the most highly anticipated ninth versus seventh match ever?

Both teams looked down and out a month ago but are now preparing for a mini elimination final.

The winner will find itself roaring into finals calculations, while it could be season over for the loser.

South Melbourne has become a goalscoring machine at home, scoring 12 goals in its past two matches at Lakeside Stadium.

The situation in away matches is a lot different though, where it has not won on the road since Round 3 against Bentleigh.

Oakleigh was firing on all cylinders before it again bowed to fellow 2012 grand finalist Dandenong Thunder at the weekend.

The Cannons are running out of lifelines and could either flourish or implode against South Melbourne, such is the latter’s Jekyll and Hyde season.


An Idiot's Guide To The NPL Victoria Argle Bargle
Here's a massive, probably over long, yet not long enough piece on what's going on with NPL Victoria, from hopefully a more objective perspective. Thanks to Costa from Goal Weekly for commissioning the piece.


Τιτιβίσµατα
To end this slack edition, we'll head over to Twitter, where our friend Pavlaki noticed that the twitterer known as SMFC Mike managed to get the attention of Elias Donoudis. It's in Greek, unfortunately for the non-Greek readers.

@smfcmike you got a mention in the Rag, lol. pic.twitter.com/oEGp2bpj6R
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) August 15, 2013

The Worst 4-2 Win In History - South Melbourne 4 Preston Lions 2

Where do you start with a game like that?

Perhaps you can start by saying, "Geez, I've got a bad feeling about this game", but that's pretty much every game these days. Hell, maybe even the whole last six years.

You can ponder the merits of the lineup. None of the Dandy Thunder players available due to being cup tied. No Alan Kearney, suspended. No Dimi Tsiaras, I assume for the same reason. Shaun Kelly still out injured. Norton out of position at centreback. A crippled Rixon getting another start, sans walking frame. At least Gavalas was cleared to play in this game, and Fernando got a rare senior start.

There should be no excuses about having played a game just two days beforehand. Preston had done the same. Our squad is larger. You'd have thought that playing an opponent two levels below you, who have some admittedly OK players, but who are still only sixth in their half of their division, we should have still sauntered this in, relatively speaking. Instead, we made seriously hard work of it, and perhaps only the soccer gods destroying the visiting side with a series of bad luck saw us eventually get over the line.

Full credit to Preston. They gave it pretty much everything they had. They didn't completely park the bus. They took most of their chances, and perhaps only the aforementioned bad luck stood in their way. There were diehard South fans shaking hands with Preston supporters after the game; not out of arrogance, but out of contrition for winning an admittedly entertaining game that we perhaps didn't deserve to do so.

A dog chasing its tail wouldn't go around in as many circles as we did last night. As one wit noted, that dog would probably have got bored of doing so long before we would. Falling behind early to a fantastic and seemingly inevitable goal - there were several Preston players lined up waiting to shoot from better position if need be - shouldn't have been disastrous, as we still should have had the time and the firepower to make it up in the end. Instead we wasted a couple of good chances by shooting wide, refused to shoot at other times and even reverted to short corners.

When Rixon was onside we didn't play the ball through to him. When he was offside, we did. At the other end, our defensive line was all over the shop, allowing Preston to play through balls beating our offside trap, as well as looking rickety and nervous on the ball. While we had most of the ball, at times our passing was beyond dreadful. Preston goalkeeper Nicholas Kostadinovski did well when he was called upon, intercepting loose balls when faced with one on one situations.

The red card dished out to Preston in the first half was ludicrous. It was a second yellow, for what appeared to be playing the ball too quickly from a free kick after having been warned not to do so by the referee. Still, we went into the sheds at half-time wondering when we were going to wake up and finally put away the visitors.

It took longer than expected, and required some more help from the soccer gods. First there was more pain, as Sanni Dauda nabbed his second of the game with a header at the near post from a corner, taking advantage of some atrocious defending.

Then the pendulum swung back our way. About an hour in, Kostadinovski, apparently suffering from an extreme bout of cramp, was unable to continue. He was replaced by a 16 year old. Within a minute, a Fernando de Moraes cross to the back post was headed in by Rhys Meredith, and we were back in the game.

Still we had to butcher several chances after that - most notably Nicky Soolsma hitting the post from a sliding attempt, and Tyson Holmes blasting the ball into Clarendon Street from a simple chance - before we got the equaliser. And even there we needed a touch of luck to level the scores against an exhausted Lions outfit, after Preston conceded an own goal. A Fernando free kick from out wide on the left eluded everyone to give South the lead, and soon after he scored his second to put the game completely out of Preston's reach.

Probably any other player celebrating in the fashion that Fernando did after scoring his goals against a fourth tier side would have been entirely anathema to me, but he gets let off the hook for the sake of long service and obvious love for this club.

Game Smfc vs Preston Lions tonight!If you don't love the club you can't play this game!Massive derby!
— Fernando de Moraes (@nandojogado) July 23, 2013

It was our first win under Chris Taylor, and our first win since we beat Northcote in the cup back June 10th. We haven't won a league match since May, when we convincingly beat Oakleigh.

It's nice though to still be in the hunt for at least some silverware this season. Our next opponent - in the semi finals if you can believe it - will be Green Gully, at a neutral venue, with the other semi-final being between the Thunder and George Cross. We'll have to play about a billion times better than we did last night to have a realistic chance of making the final, but at least we have a shot at it.

Waiting For Godot, VPL style. Photo: Michael Dimoudis.

They Only Come Out At Night/Working Overtime
Channel 9 were there. Channel 10 were there too, or so I heard. Apart from a flare thrown over the fence from the far side of the lake end after the match - which landed on the empty terraces and looked suitably pathetic - nothing happened, which was good. If only nothing had happened eight years ago as well, he says quietly to himself. Still, the media vultures went home empty handed, and they'll now have to manufacture some other story to fill in airtime. Good thing they're well versed in that kind of thing.

I guess today tonight and ACA will have to stick to Stories about Boat People and Laundry Powder.
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) July 23, 2013

There was also this comment by the famous (infamous?) Benjamin on the 442 forum:

Ch 9 had a camera van outside Lakeside last night, ABC tried to get in (without tickets) to "promote state league football" and were told by security to "come back on Sunday". Everyone wants to stir trouble.

There wasn't any, by the way.

"Promote state league football". Now I've heard everything.

Renco Van Eeken Fruit Watch
Apparently nothing happened on that front last night.<

EDIT:
See comments section for an update.

Member Information Evening
It's at Beachcomber, August 6th. The sacrifices I make for this club. Anyway, they'll be discussing A-League (snort), National Premier League (make it happen!), social club (what's that?), the junior pavilion and football (what about soccer?).

Spencer Street Station Shenanigans 
Met Sebit Muon and another youth player on the way home last night. Told Sebit that Steve From Broady is a huge fan of his, and discussed the game briefly, as they had been at a training session. Cool story bro and all that.

Next Game
Back to league duties, with a home match against the Thunder.

Final Thought
I suffered from a dizzy spell after the second goal. Following this club is not good for my health.

News Straight from the Corey Hotline

Dockerty Cup match against Northcote
It has been scheduled for Queens Birthday Monday - that is Monday, June 10, at 3:00. Bit of a shame, as I was lined up to do a guest report on another blog, which would have required my being at the Melbourne - Collingwood AFL game, but such is life. We'll be at South, of course, just in case anyone was in any doubt.

Knights officially out of NPLV, Green Gully follow suit
It was hardly a secret, but it was nice to see both these teams make it official. Knights put out a press release to go with it. While it's pretty obvious that the vast majority of clubs from the western suburbs have indicated they're not interested, unfortunately the local press here has focused more on the opinions of the coaches of teams such as Werrribee and Yarraville. I want to hear from their committees.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the Melbourne Knights for including South of the Border in their press release mail out. It made us feel closer to being a real journalist than any amount of FFV media passes ever could.

So who's in?
Surf Coast and Ballarat Red Devils look like they're putting their hand up. Some Geelong consortium is also apparently interested. Not sure about metro clubs, and that includes us. There was a rumour going around that we'd somehow actually managed to wrangle all of the concessions we'd wanted. Then there was an smfcboard rumour that we're ready to announce we're pulling out, supposedly to be release tomorrow evening. All that amid the confusion among our supporters, some of who are 100% anti, some reluctantly for, others who want to hedge their bets, and the rest just waiting to be told what to do.

Socceroos to train at Lakeside for Melbourne camp
How about that? Apparently some talk abut being able to register to meet them, whatever that means, though I'm not. Of course it's provided an opening for the jokesters

@smfc how come the socceroos don't train at the Melbourne Heart's facilities? Oh right, they don't have any...
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) May 28, 2013

Marvelous. So what I want to know is, are we in the A-League yet?

The suit faction is in there somewhere

Yes, your correspondant dressed up for the occasion. Photo by Pavlaki.

South through to Hellenic Cup final after bruising win over Oakleigh

South Melbourne is through to the Hellenic Cup final next week after outlasting Oakleigh Cannons with a 3-2 extra time win. South were up 2-0, before Oakleigh leveled the game. Scorers for South were Fernando with one and Coveny two, including the last minute winner. The joy will be tempered though to what appears to be a serious and potentially season ending knee injury to Nathan Caldwell, after he was crudely tackled by former South defender Robbie Wynne.

Vaughan Coveny lobs the ball over the Oakleigh keeper to give South a 2-0 lead. Photo by Pavlaki.

Could've gone either way, but the scores stay locked - South Melbourne 2 Melbourne Knights 2

A draw. Not what we wanted, but what we got. To be honest, by the way we played I don't believe we deserved a win. Maybe we did, by 1 goal max, which would've had to have been scored in the closing minutes. An early penalty in the first half saw Fernando De Moraes slot one home to send us up 1-0, then early in the second half we saw Gianni De Nittis tap in a through ball which was smoothly sent in by new signing Petrovich.

We went into half time hoping for at least a sealer in the second half or just solid play to at least keep the lead. But it wasn't to be. Our skill just dropped in the second half, and the Knights just pushed to the limit and got their 2 equalisers that they needed. They got their first goal after Gianni De Nittis had a good chance on goal, but it hit the post and their keeper eventually got rid of it. With the ball heading down the other end, the Knights capitalized when James Timmons sent a nice shot in and made it 2-1 for the Knights. Not too long after, Andrew Barisic sent another one in for the Knights to level the scores at 2-2.

Nunes received a red card in the middle of the first half, which was for a bit of an incident with a Knights player where he retaliated to a Knights player. The referee was disgraceful as usual, letting at least 4 clear handballs go that I counted; 3 against the Knights where one saw the ball in the Knights player's hand and him turning around with the ball to change the direction, and 1 against us which was against Fernando, where a few of our players called it too. And he let some rash tackles go too, including a clear boot in the head to one of our players, mean tackle to one of our players but then Rama ran in with a nudge to send the Knights player packing onto the floor which was also let go.

I agree with what Michael Chatzitrifonos (Richmond Eagles coach) had to say about the referees in the FFV. All over the FFV, the referees are disgusting. The next few weeks will see us take on Fawkner away, Altona at home, Richmond away, Whittlesea at home and Frankston away. We should be able to beat Fawkner for sure, Altona we have a pretty good chance, Richmond could go either way, Whittlesea we should really win, and Frankston... Well we should also really win this but it could prove to be difficult

Until Altona...

Take careeee ;)

Fernando de Moraes scores the first goal from a penalty: (Thanks to Pavlaki for the proper vid)


Fernando de Moraes scores the first goal from a penalty: (Cliff's effort)

Meshless

Notice something missing? Where was my beloved blue mesh? Luckily it wasn't terribly cold, but still, the mesh was missed. Photo by Pavlaki. Cliff's match report tomorrow.

Back to avoiding relegation - Green Gully 1 South Melbourne 0

Had enough chances to won this game, indeed played far better than Gully in my honest opinion, but lacked that killer touch and the touch of luck that comes with being there instead of down here. Thinks back to 2006 when, in the semi final against Altona, Deano saved two one on ones, and we went up both times to score. That kind of luck. Caldwell and Wynne were the best for South. Highlight - apart from the Pies winning - was the gorgeous sunset, as captured below by Pavlaki, who also gave me a copy of an episode of Carl Sagan's 'Cosmos' series from a couple of decades back.

Walking, After Midnight

efils good and the time is right / i'll bundle up and slip away
the count is down and the drip is up / it's time to split this hunk of clay

Eels, Efil's God


So it's come to this. A new twelve team summer competition, with all new regionally based and privately backed franchises (or in some cases quite possibly, regional federation backed), using existing VPL players (as well as ring-ins from wherever) under some scheme where if they get picked up by an A-League side, VPL clubs will get compensated, watched and paid for by whom exactly I'm not sure of, but what the hell do I know. I just follow South after all, and who can say what turns the game will take in these heady times.

Some might say this is the game running before it can walk, others a long overdue move and bound to succeed thanks to the soccer boom led by the success of the Socceroos and the Melbourne Victory. Good luck to them. Unless you want to argue the point for some reason, we're pretty much third tier now. What this also means is that the FFV has effectively given up on Old Soccer too. Maybe they're right to do so. Hell, most people jumped off that ship fairly quickly, to be brutally honest. Why shouldn't the FFV be able to do what even most of its constituents have done and focus on development pathways for players to the top, rather than the sad little dreams of 60 year old migrants who still turn up long after their friends bailed or died, 20-25 year olds rusted on to an antiquated belief in club loyalty, and money men (and one woman) throwing cash at the blackest of black holes, the VPL, and Victorian senior soccer in general.

Let face it, it's all about the juniors today people. The usual whiny minority aside, it's been evident for enough time now that no one gives a stuff. And yes, all you people still attending and supporting the club your forbears, or your mates forbears built, or some schmo who just wanted to have a place where his mates could have a kickaround, you are no one. You are no longer important. The FFV have looked into the FFA's crystal ball, and seen the future, and it looks kinda like this. Heaps of juniors across the land, playing 'football' so they wont get fat or seriously hurt, and helping to fill the coffers quickly while taking little out. The creation of a well oiled machine, to pump out thousands of little champions, who after the various squad cuts throughout the years will become bigger champions, who can pass with both feet, know dozens of moves, be a library of tactics, and be more or less exact clones of each other. Senior soccer at the lower levels if it still exists (and it probably will) will be almost completely amateur, and will be based amongst localised suburban competitions ala aussie rules comps, probably on unenclosed public reserves.

As the history of the local game pre-World War 2 has been forgotten, so will the history of the last 60 or so years be forgotten. Few will rejoice or despair; the great games, clubs, players and administrators, except in the cases where recorded and maintained on little visited websites by bleary eyed trainspotting nerds, will be as if they never existed. A bit of lipservice, and then scorched earth, clean slates, c:/format, and off into the bright happy world of tomorrow. A world in which well 'ard ultras protest against 'modern football' while supporting Evil Geoff Lord's franchise, and aussie rules families, safe from reminders of what multiculturalism is, clap and cheer politely while they firmly believe that their little Anglo-Celtic world is diverse because the people around them look different, while clutching their meat pies and super dogs (thanks to Pavlaki for that phrase).

In retrospect the signs were all there. Not just in the big things, but the little things too. Every half competent person leaving the FFV for greener pastures. The almost determined incompetence of running senior competitions, including the pisspoor prizemoney. The clandestine season launch in which the state's only dedicated local soccer publication wasn't invited. People like 3XX wanting to broadcast games and the FFV not wanting the publicity. The endless delays and changes to what would eventually become the V-League, or whatever they're going to call it. And on it goes. But don't complain. This is market forces we're talking about - wait sorry - this is what Victorian football's constituents want in order for the game to progress in this state. And they shall have it.

So what now? Easily combustible members of a certain club which wears royal blue and white and once won four national titles in a fantasy comp called the National Soccer League have variously called for action to be taken, protests, sabotage, breakaway leagues, playing in Asia or New Zealand, complaining to FIFA, the FFA, the courts, whoever will listen, calls for an Apocalypse Now themed ending, (surely we could hire a helicopter to fly over the top at least for a little while), banding together with our disenfranchised brethren/enemies or going at it full bore, riots, flares, everything that we've held back on, everything they said we did to ruin the game because we were selfish.

Well, so let's be selfish. In some of my more despondent moments in recent years, my idea went something like this. South is celebrating its 50th anniversary next year. There's no hope for a better future, we have nowhere to go, the standard will keep falling as more and more players are used for the higher tiers, and there's little replenishment of support. Verily, it's better to die on your feet than live on your knees. The club's dignity must come first. So flares at every game. Pitch invasions every game. Streamers and banners on full bore, confetti to piss off the constabulary who hate the sight of litter so much. Every game to be a raucous wake not just for South but the local game as a whole. The team not to be made up of players with aspirations of playing for the chance to join a team which competes to win a toilet seat, but the best players out of the fans that are left, who will play for free, for the simple honour of the shirt. And then at the end of the season, we burn the whole stadium down, burn that shit heap remnant of the aussie rules stand, just another monument to a time when all of this sort of thing had some sort of meaning, when we weren't the walking dead. And as a bonus it'll be an easier cleanup job for when they build that athletics track that's going to go round Lakeside anyway.

In time, one may calm down, see it all differently, accept, acquiesce, adapt, find the niche that may exist, and go on regardless of whatever the great dreamers of dreams will dream up, and let the focus groups and demographers advise the new world order of their every move. Sometime later, I might come to my senses and may even write something sensible on the situation. For the moment though, in the words of FFV CEO Mark Rendell, "let's suck it and see".