I don't like to smile unless I have a reason - South Melbourne 0 Avondale 3

There are myriad minor grievances one can have with the world, and goodness I've got my fair share. Some people use going to South games as a ways of dealing with those grievances, by giving themselves a chance to vent their frustrations at the world as some kind of budget primal scream therapy. Me, I consider South as being an essential part of those lived grievances, not a break from them. Yet even though I expect to be frustrated - and in 2018, that frustration has been guaranteed on an almost weekly basis - I have still not felt anything like catharsis.

The playing side is one thing, and we'll get to that eventually, but the off field stuff has been just as annoying. Take Sunday for example. As I approach the ground from across the street, I can see that the under 20s have kicked off. Having not read the email from the club which said that members should head in from the office side - and not that there's any signage to indicate otherwise anyway - I go in through the futsal entrance. The lady at the door to the social club says as a member, I can't go through there, I have to go around to the office side.

OK, frustrating, but I'm not here to cause a scene, so I go out and to the office entrance, whose doors are of course locked. So I spin around in a daze of confusion wondering if maybe I got the instructions wrong, but the lady comes away from her post and motions to me to come back in to the futsal entrance because the office entrance is clearly not open yet, and I can just scan my card at the merchandise/ticket sales desk. I am frustrated and confused, but these are the things which the cosmos throws up to test us - if you believe in a sort of deterministic universe - and all you can do is grit your teeth and carry on. In the greater scheme of things, it's a very minor annoyance. I went out to watch the rest of the first half the under 20s, in what was a pretty dire opening half.

At halftime I went into the social club. There was a notice next to the bar that alcoholic drinks could not be taken outside, thanks to another new face at the State Sport Centres Trust trying to push back on something in an attempt to remind South Melbourne Hellas who the top dog is. As if we don't know. Again, that's fine, *serenity now*, I can drink my booze inside where it's warm, I'll have a gin and tonic thanks. After SES volunteers spent three days and nights searching through dense scrub on difficult, mountainous terrain, it was established - at great cost to taxpayers, probably, assuming that they also sent the chopper out - that there was no gin in the social club. Ready as ever to take these kinds of things as a personal slight, I remembered that board member Andrew Mesorouni also likes a G&T, and thus it was probably just "one of those things" and settled for a rum and coke, which generations of underage drinks know could easily pass as a standard cola drink and thus able to be taken outside.

Not that I did that, because I was on my very best behaviour. I finished my drink, and watched the rest of the 20s game, which at least managed to yield three goals to the good guys. Mr Hollywood didn't get on the score sheet, but he did his best People's Champ impersonation when one of his shots was deflected and finished off by a teammate. You'd think you'd be happy when one of your teammates scores, but our man in Burma looked like someone had told him his dog had died. Also, good on the club for putting on all the lights at their disposal in the increasing gloom, unlike when the women's team got only half of them for a night game a few weeks back. Maybe that - and the missing corner flags - should've been enough of a clue that we didn't really care about the Team App Cup all that much.

The 20s done, and waiting for the loukoumades truck to do its business, but that takes a while, and eventually we ran out of time before the game kicked off. Besides which, I got into a convo with journalist Gregory Letort and his photographer pal (the latter of whom knew Matthew Klugman, one of my PhD supervisors; any word on when on if the second examiner's report has come in yet Matthew? It's only been four months...). I'd had a lengthy chat with Letort not the other week, but the week before that, about all things Australian soccer and South Melbourne Hellas, for some work he's doing hopefully to get into Le Monde and/or L'Equipe. The photographer wanted a photo, which is fine, but he also wanted a smile, which is against my ethos. Yes, I used that Daria line.

The game started, and we looked OK, not great, not good, maybe not even passable, but considering our form and that of opponents, OK was, well, OK. Lot of corners, but in all honesty, not a lot of chances, and never really looking likely to score. No striker doesn't help, it hasn't helped for weeks, but if that was the only thing you could sort of throw your hands in the air and exclaim "what else we can do?" and just wait until someone with an innate goal sense comes back into the starting eleven. But it was also the structures and the willingness of players to go up and down the field. Missing Iqi Jawadi didn't help. Whatever his drawbacks as a player, he does have a ways of making the play push forwards. His replacement, Luke Pavlou, whatever his positive attributes as a player, is the opposite.

When we fell behind to a Stefan Zinni header, that was probably the ball game right there. With out limited firepower and discombobulated attacking methods, falling behind at any point is pretty much a death sentence. We battled away in the second half, but it was more of the same. Players playing out of position. Players playing when not fit. Players playing who probably weren't entirely motivated. If there was any doubt, Avondale's second goal clinched. The third was the misery cherry on the despondency cake. Luke Boland launched one from halfway over a back peddling Jerrad Tyson, sending a good portion of the miserly crowd out the door.

Look, while I was obviously pretty upset at the time, I'm pretty much over that goal now. These things happen, what's the use of crying over spilled milk and all that. I mean, yes Tyson put up an edited highlights video of himself from the Green Gully we lost 3-0 - probably omitting the three goals we copped that day - which is great for self-promotion, but not great in terms of being in tune with supporters' expectations. Neither does any keeper want to be chipped from long range like that, ever - and he's not even the first goalkeeper Boland has done that too, and on far bigger stages than this. And I'm still trying to figure out how Tyson missed the ball considering that it seemed like he';d managed to get back on his line in time to keep the ball out.

But we were already cooked by then. The one thing you could take out of the game was the return of Marcus Schroen, and to a lesser extent, Leigh Minopoulos. Schroen looked keen, and - within a very limited framework - seemed to make things happen. Who knows how much match fitness he has, but it's good to see him back, and good to have at least another option. For Leigh's return from injury, who knows how much he's actually recovered from his injury.

Somehow we're still in positive goal difference territory, which considering we're only three points clear of the relegation playoff spot, is worth an extra point.

Next game
Port Melbourne away on Saturday night, to round out the first half of the home and away season. It's the last game of Milos Lujic's suspension, so we'll have to wait and see whether Leigh Minopoulos is good enough to start.

Welcome Ndumba Makeche
Makeche is a striker who played five games several years ago for Perth Glory, and has since puttered away in Malaysia for a few teams in a few different divisions. The transfer window doesn't open until after the Port game, probably, so he won't be available for selection until the Bulleen game. As per my custom, I'm not going to watch the YouTube highlights reel

Members forum on Thursday
The club has announced a members forum for this Thursday, in the social club, starting at 7:00PM. It's open only to "full voting members", but I'm not sure if this means only South Melbourne Hellas members (ie, social club members), or also South Melbourne FC members (ie, season ticket holders).

The announcement of the meeting has come up at what looks like quite short notice, and as best as I can recall, no announcement was made over the PA system at any points during yesterday's game before the club put up the details of the meeting at about 9:30 last night. There is also no agenda or specific purpose for the meeting articulated in the club's announcement of the meeting.

Cynics may come to the conclusion that this meeting has been hastily arranged because of a non-club sanctioned meeting of supporters held after yesterday's game - but more on that when that group formally comes out with its plan and/or demands. However, if my memory serves me right, at the most recent AGM President Leo Athanasakis did mention that there would be a supporters meeting held in April of this year, and perhaps this is just that idea a little overdue. Maybe because we have a huge run of home games coming up, that they'd like some ideas and feed back on how the social club is going.

Or maybe because the A-League bid expressions of interest are due in this Thursday, it seems like an opportune time to give us an update on how that's going?

Speaking of our A-League bid
I see that last week local member of parliament Martin Foley stepped up from being a well-wisher to actually joining our bid team. Is that a good thing? I don't know. Who am I to judge?

More hilariously, journalist Jack Kerr has been doing some good work, asking some interesting questions and getting some interesting answers. Roberto Carlos as our A-League coach? Yeah, that's probably not going to happen. As Kerr rightly muses:

Which makes you wonder why they called the press conference in the first place.

There's also some interesting stuff in there about old mate Morris Pagniello of Genova International School of Soccer, and the ways in which South initially talked up Pagniello's proximity to South, and later tried to sort of pretend that it never happened, and now it's "hey, look over there, Pagniello's hanging out with the Team 11 people" and "we never knew about his alleged shady dealings, honest". Which is all very sophisticated. Not that any of that matters, of course. But it is fun.

As for the rest of them
One bidding team has pulled out of the running, and it's not us. Brisbane Strikers have withdrawn their bid citing a lack of clarity from FFA regarding financial and other requirements.

According to a (pay-walled) article by David Davutovic, 15 consortia from across Australia - excluding the Northern Territory - have indicated their interest. Though I suspect some of these are more pie in the sky than others, the bidders include:

• South Melbourne (whoever they are)
• Team 11/Dandenong corridor
• Western Melbourne - confirmation that this a rebadged/repositioned Geelong Patriots bid.
• Tasmania - the bid backed by Harry Stamoulis and Robert Beltecky 
• South-West Sydney - the consortium that tried to buy out the Phoenix licence.
• Apparently another south-western Sydney group. 
• Southern Expansion - the Southern Sydney (whatever that means) and Wollongong combination
• Brisbane City 
• Ipswich
• Gold Coast
• Wollongong Wolves
• Canberra - though Davutovic only says here that "people" think Canberra should have a team, not that anyone is actually putting one in on the city's behalf.
• Fremantle 
• West Adelaide Hellas

So even with the uncertainty of the A-League operating model, the FFA Congress issues, and whether there's even any money left over to give to expansion sides from the TV deal, a lot of groups seem bizarrely interested in putting up their hand for this. I guess we'll find out in October how it all turns out.

Around the grounds
Futility
After Saturdays spent at the footy, Kensington City, watching the South women, and chasing the men's team to far flung places, I finally got around to seeing an Altona East game. Not at Paisley Park mind you, but rather at Kevin Flint Reserve in Cairnlea near enough to my old stomping ground of Victoria University's St Albans campus. Cairnlea and Altona East used to be relegation battling rivals in State League 1, and after a year or two apart they're now mediocrity battling rivals in State League 2. Sunrise, sunset. I caught the tail end of the reserves match, which finished with the absurd scoreline of 7-4. Then the seniors. A cold, swirly, breeze. A bumpy pitch. Two teams of panel beaters. Not much chance of a quality contest, and so it prove, but at least the company was good. Cairnlea took an early lead. That's pretty much all that happened in the first half. The second half was a little livelier, but that's not saying much. Cairnlea - who were the better team, even if they weren't creating much - iced the game just before injury time. East scored from their only chance right at the end. I spent the second half catching up with Richard Maynard, father of ex-South keeper Chris, who was playing for Cainrlea on the day, and didn't have much to do.

Final thought
Thanks to all those who asked after my health, I appreciate it.

Need more gas in the tank - Heidelberg United 1 South Melbourne 1

Took one of our reader's suggestions and used the route 250 to get to the ground, and though the walk to the ground was all downhill, it did take longer than I'd anticipated, and of course the ancient turnstiles at the front of the ground weren't working. At least the bus ride allowed me to meet Tim McGlone, one of the newer faces in the ever expanding South Melbourne media team. There was a minute''s silence for a Heidelberg member who had passed away, and then the Greek national anthem for Greek national day (NCIP!) and the Aussie one (crackling badly through the PA system), all combined with the smell of the rankest cigarettes I've smelled for some time, and then we were off. Also, 3XY and Michael Lynch were there.

We started off a bit slow, but eventually got on top and started bossing the game, pulling together some wonderful passing play. The lineup was the same as the one that started the second half against Bentleigh the week before, including no substitute keeper again. This arrangement didn't last very long, as Cody Martindale had to come off early with an injury, and on came Andy Kecojevic. Soon enough we took the lead, Milos Lujic hitting a wonderful shot after some excellent lead up work.

Later on in the half Brad Norton was viciously cut down, and soon after half time Tim Mala had to go off with injury as well. Unlike last year, where we managed to keep most of our starting eleven players on the field for the entire season, this season, while not being quite the disaster on that front that it could be, has been a challenge. Dan Heffernan didn't play for the Bergers which helped our cause, as his replacement Kenny Athiu kept finding himself offside. Still, our defensive stocks at the moment are thin, and it will be interesting to see how we cope once we hit the more crowded part of the schedule where we have to play three games in a week.

The second half saw the arrival of a persistent problem this season - not enough gas in the tank. Last season we were able to win games in part because we were better able to run out matches, including often making substitutions quite late in the piece. This season, even with early subs, we look unable to run out games convincingly. I hope this is all part of the plan to help us peak later in the year, and that once we hit our stretch of Friday night home matches, that our recovery and fitness plan kicks into action and gives us some kind of edge. Until that moment arrives however, we are looking particularly vulnerable.

While last season we started off well and became tired towards the end, it's still not a good look to be struggling the way we have been. Having said that, had we scored the goal that we should have in the second half to make it 2-0, this probably would have been game, set and match. As it was the Bergers took it up the other end and scored immediately, and then proceeded to dominate proceedings. Andreas Govas hit one of the hardest shots I've seen for some time from long range - thank goodness that we have Nikola Roganovic in goals this season - he's been doing an outstanding job, and looks safe as houses in the air as well.

Injuries and lack of fitness aside, what made matters worse is that we lost all composure on the ball. Nick Epifano got himself into good position on a couple of occasions, but failed to make the most of his opportunities. Several players were guilty of making horrible, rushed passes, as well as bombing the ball long to the increasingly isolated Lujic. Leigh Minopoulos came on and added a bit of spark and pace, as well as level headedness - the problem there is that we appear to be heading into a problem we had several seasons ago, that we have a lot of players that look good coming off the bench, but not as many who can start and finish a game off well.

Milos Lujic still looks ominous, but he needs a reliable friend up front. David Stirton didn't start this game, nor was he used off the bench. Andy Brennan, the player Ian Syson and I had come to see most of all, worked hard but was visibly tired even in the first half. He also learned that the space he was accustomed to in Tasmania, as well as the tricks he could use to beat an opponent one on one, are not as reliable in Victoria; still, I think there's huge upside, and that it's all part of the learning process for him. I also love Leigh Minopoulos, but I have my doubts about whether he could be as effective as a starting player. The midfield for the most part battles hard, but they're undersized, and where we should be using Michael Eagar or Dane Milovanovic in defensive midfield as an enforcer, defensive necessities and lack of fitness respectively are leaving us scrambling for makeshift options.

In the end, while the officiating didn't help us - and I say that as someone who usually enjoys Lucien's relative finickiness, as long as he's being even handed and accurate - we were a little lucky to get away with the point, Still, we also had our chances, and if we can get our fitness right, and figure out the exact starting eleven that we want to settle on (injuries notwithstanding), we have a lot of upside to come, which I'm not sure can be said for a lot of the other teams around us at this point in time. To only be playing 25-30 minutes of good football, against mostly the teams likely to be in the finals race, and still be picking up points - that's the positive that I'm going to take out of this opening part of the season.

This sucks

Players from both sides today had wallets and phones stolen from the rooms as they were playing in the derby #smfc #Hufc #PS4NPL #scum
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) March 29, 2015

This also happened to Preston late last season at Keilor Park. Someone on Twitter said that there are actually FFV rules that the change rooms must be locked, but even with that, surely it would be common sense to lock the rooms anyway? I don't know, this just seems like something that's so easily preventable.

No substitute goalkeeper again comedy commentary piece

Our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?

Next week
Of course our charmed run of results - if not quite personnel issues - could all come crashing down this week, when we play Green Gully away on Saturday afternoon. Another difficult game to be sure, but at least it's our last away game for this stretch before we get back home to Lakeside.

Jersey night
Having just missed the 96 tram to St Kilda, I waited patiently for the next one, only for the driver to let off passengers, pick up almost no one and then bolt off. At least I handled the situation slightly better than the bloke who swore out loud and thumped the side of the tram, scaring some children inside of it - his own admission, made somewhat shamefully. I eventually made it to the venue, where I tried to psych myself up for some classic cynicism.

Live from Beachcomber Cafe, it's the Krusty the Clown Show: Prison Special. #smfc #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

Seriously, how churlish can you get before the event even starts? Anyway, many famous people were there. Kimon Taliadoros, always on an insatiable quest for power; Mal Impiombato, the latest FFA bureaucratic heavy hitter we're desperately trying to woo; Tara Rushton, something, something, hot chick, something, something, where's Mel?; Martin Foley, the local member of parliament, who's stuck his neck out for a bunch of Greeks who mostly don't live in his electorate; and Santo Cilauro, of various projects including one where they let Sam Pang boast about the fact he knowns nothing about the game - mind you, that's someone else's interpretation, because I don't watch the relevant show.

There were also the usual sponsors, board members and sprinkling of ordinary fans, thrust into the back corner, and the firm establishment of an SMFC media team cartel, minus one very important member - and no, it wasn't me! Thus, mingling was made very difficult, and created a sort of sullen mood in certain areas of the venue. Nevertheless, it was nice of Chris Taylor to pop around, while the movers and shakers were busy trying to schmooze people with money and influence.

Had a delightful chat with Chris Taylor about longevity, networks and haircuts. #SMFC #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

If this was a Greek wedding though - and I use Greek weddings as the example only because they're the only ones I've ever been to - there'd be much complaining that no member of the committee came around to thank us for attending and ask us how we were faring, apart from collecting our money. Speaking of money, the player auction was of course a central feature of the night's proceedings. It was a more muted, but evenly spread affair this season, no ridiculous over the top amounts, but none of the lesser players went for the measly sum of $500. Kosta from Blue Thunder Security of course bought Matthew Theodore, while Nick Epifano - despite his absence on the night - managed to get the equal top amount alongside Michael Eagar. A pity that us ordinary fans were too disorganised and/or poor to be able to buy someone. Maybe next year.

Anyway, as was the case last year, local MP Martin Foley got a chance to have his say, opining on the frustrations that the Lakeside lease still hasn't been sorted out yet - especially given that he had promised March 15th of this year as a deadline.

Martin Foley says directive has been issued to relevant departments to sort #smfc lease issue by end of April. Better be true. #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

One of the people inside the tent had a more detailed version of Foley's commentary, as posted on smfcboard.

Foley essentially said that it will all be done and dusted in the next few weeks by the latest with the deadline set by government April 29th. George Lekakis (Multicultural commission) has been appointed to oversee the process to ensure we get what we have been promised, while the senior ALP members have sent a formal directive to the department to also ensure the above happens. 

He also went on about how South has acted in good faith in the past 5 years and how badly they have been let down by government. While he couldn't control what Liberal did, he did apologise on behalf of the ALP.

But what's another arbitrary deadline between friends? Then it was time for the football panel discussion chaired by Tom Kalas, which touched on prospective FFV president Kimon Talidoros' desire to align the states with what FFA was doing, something to do with promotion/relegation, and pointing out how awesome South was or is. I think SMFCMike enjoyed this segment a lot more than I did.

Tom Kalas introduces a powerpoint presentation. My night is complete. #smfc #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

The meals were a step down from last year's efforts.

Fucken hell, φακή for the entree. This atheist doesn't do nistia. #smfc #ps4npl
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

This sparked some Twitter discussion at least about the merits or otherwise, of Greek lentil soup, The chicken for the main was quite good, even with the creamy pasta side dish shenanigans. On the other hand, dessert was a disaster.

Already disappointed by no dessert course, only to be offered most half-arsed fruit platter this side of a mid 1990s Olympic Airways flight.
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

And that's even leaving out the pathetically small pieces of cut up cherry ripe slice and lemon slice. What happened to the pannacotta from last year? It was good to meet FFV media dude Alan Delic at the end of the night, where I commended the recent work FFV has been doing in the media area. I also mentioned how I'm a big fan of FFV giving the NPL clubs cameras to film their own games, which I know is not necessarily popular with some people because of the low quality of some of the filming, and 'more urgent priorities'. Overall, it wasn't the most enjoyable night, and I'd had more fun in other years at this event. Swings and roundabouts and all that.

Πολύ γκρινιάρης δεν είσαι?

It's 'speak Greek in March month', but @NeosKosmos still going with Σάουθ Μέλμπουρν instead of Ελλάς Μελβούρνης. Ντροπή σας. #smfc #PS4NPL
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 27, 2015

Nick Epifano fan abuse issue borrowed comedy commentary piece

I am very interested in seeing how this will be dealt with - on a purely intellectual level of course.

80' Play is delayed as some @gomvfc fans light 6 flares, and steal the corner flag before leaving the ground #BRDvMVC pic.twitter.com/Kn7RwYOzuu
— PS4 NPL Victoria (@nplvictoria) March 28, 2015

Final thought
I might be a cunt, but...

Air Force One - North Geelong 0 South Melbourne 3

After complaining on Twitter about the fact that there were no taxi ranks at either Lara or Corio stations, I received this offer of a lift, which blew me away,

@PaulMavroudis do you want a lift. Fancy a ride with the President to Geelong. Beats taking public transport.
— Leo Athanasakis (@LAthanasakis) February 24, 2015

The option being either to go hardcore and take the public transport, or sell out to the man and take up the president's offer, so of course I did the latter. Ghastly Top 40 station music aside, it was a pleasant enough experience, going along for the ride not just with Leo, but also Leo's son, Leo's father, and Gains squished up in the middle seat.  The warning of Avalon Air Show traffic leading up to the game proved to be ill founded, both on the way there and especially on the way back. Indeed like a few others I assume, we got a little bit of a free show on the way there, with planes flying low across the freeway in front of us.

Upon entering the ground, it feels so much like what a country soccer venue should: clearly rural, but also clearly loved. There's a strong soccer culture here, and on the whole the locals were very hospitable. I spent a good part of the under 20s match indoors in the North Geelong SOCIAL CLUB (did you see what I did there, real subtle) having lunch (glorified rissole cevapi roll and a Snickers, tasty sure, but let's be honest hardly the equal of well made souvlaki) and watching Australia get smashed in the cricket on the TV, but avoidinh the temptation to have a go on the jumping castle.

Steve from Broady showing everyone he's a man of many talents, as he
goes about filming the under 20s game from way up high on the scaffolding.
Photo: Skip Fulton.

Outside the heat and the humidity conspired to make things less than pleasant, and it was a credit to the under 20s players, who had to deal with the worst of it, that they put on as good a show as they did, while the rest of us marvelled at Steve from Broady making it to the top of media tower scaffolding. The conditions were scarcely better for the two teams in the senior match, who still had to deal with pretty adverse weather conditions. In particular I was a little concerned that due to our obvious lack of fitness last week, whether we would be able run out the game strongly. As it was, it looked like we did enough to control the game for the most part without completely busting a gut, chasing and closing down when necessary, but not going out like greyhounds in the way that Avondale Heights did last week against the Knights.

The first half was spent hiding from the sun underneath the social club's terracing, as well as performing the usual feat at these kinds of grounds of trying to find the best spot to see both goal mouths, while avoiding the support pillars and players race. Apart from the two goals we scored, the moment I'm most keen to see on the replay was the header which seemed to be pulled in by the North Geelong goalkeeper with Inspector Gadget arms. Plenty at the ground thought the header had gone in - indeed, even the Dodgy Asian Betting guy had it registered as a goal - but somehow it stayed out. No doubt that on the replay it will look like it was n where near to being in. In the second half, it was more of the same, though I dare say we played it a bit more cautiously. The rain that began in the second half would have made it more comfortable I hope for the players, as it did for the fans behind the goal, who were less interested in chanting than in engaging in good natured banter with the North Geelong keeper, who took it in his stride.

More photographers than fans. First there was Cindy Nitsos, then Skip Fulton, and now Kevin Juggins, very capable with a lens. 

I can't say it was pretty, because it wasn't really, but I don't think it was as ugly as the players singing the song implied. North Geelong battled hard, but apart from set pieces couldn't really muster up too much of a threat on our goal, and I reckon they'll probably struggle to avoid the drop. Still, we also weren't at our sharpest. David Stirton was copping (rightfully) the brunt of the frustration from the actually pretty decent travelling South contingent, especially from one notable yapper, but Stirton then scored a nice header and laid one off for Milos Lujic to more or less ice the game before half time, and his laziness was for the time being at least excused.

Still, we had been and would continue to be wasteful in front of goal, with the lack of decisiveness being my main gripe. If you're near enough and there's space in front of you, why not have a ping? I don't know, maybe we have a team full of perfectionists, maybe the turf wasn't playing as true as its verdancy would indicate, but substitute Andy Brennan showed what might be achieved if you just hit the damn thing; even if it ends up going at straight at the keeper, it may end up going through his legs, and the game becomes a little more comfortable.

One last observation from this game, and the possible arrival of a new trend. In the difficult years prior to our most recent championship, we South fans would often bemoan two things - first, that we were not as physical as other sides in the competition, and second, that referees were loath to punish the more violent teams such as Green Gully. The bit we can control, the physicality aspect, seemed to have been sorted out last year, if not even earlier upon the arrival of Chris Taylor and his cohort of Dandenong Thunder players. Certainly an intrinsic part of that physicality, the ability to grind out results, went a huge way to securing us the championship. The referee leniency issue is something largely out of our control; however in the first two games this season it appears we're gpoing into tackles with a bit more fervour than I've seen from a South team for a long time. My concern is not just for the yellow and red cards that we're likely to pick up along the way, but also for the reputation of the club. Some of the tackles that have been put in by our players in the early part of this season have been getting close to cringe worthy.

Next week
Not round three as you might expect, but round four. Round three is spread over several weeks, and our game in that round isn't on until April. Instead, we'll be jumping straight into round four, and an away fixture against Werribee City, whose round round three game is to be played midweek this week. Here's hoping we don't have to put up the scaffolding ourselves again.

Meet me in St Louis
After the mysterious exit of defender James Musa had failed to elicit anything resembling a concrete explanation - apart from the fact that he was quite clearly no longer with us - it appears that we finally have an answer as to his next career move. Musa has joined Saint Louis FC, an expansion team in the third tier USL competition in the USA, after the MLS and NASL. Saint Louis FC are, according to Wikipedia, affiliated with Chicago Fire of the MLS.

The stranger case of Peter Gavalas
All sorts of strange rumours were circulating from all sorts of different sources yesterday, about the exact status of Peter Gavalas' injury. The consensus seems to be that yes, it's a back injury, but worse than that, that it's far more serious than previously given credit for. Rather than the half dozen weeks initially mentioned, it's likely to be twice as long. Much more speculative was whether Gavalas had actually carried this injury into pre-season, whether he was struggling with it before the season had started, and now whether he's been let go, pending the approval of a goalkeeping signing exemption from FFV.

Media pass
As per usual, earlier this year I was waiting with anticipation for the release of the application form for FFV media accreditation. But before I could even get to fill out anything, and pray to Morgoth that I would fail so I could have a good old fashioned whinge, I received a phone call telling me not to apply, How come I asked? Well, my mystery caller said that'd he'd arrange to get me one.

Now whether it is true or not that the relevant person in FFV communications agreed to this request because it was 'easier to just to give it to him', I can't say for sure. Anyway, despite the fact that I'd rather have been accepted or denied for accreditation on my own terms, one doesn't simply knock back this kind of unsolicited thoughtfulness put in on one's behalf. To that end, I will try my best to do either of the following:

• Prove that there is actually no harm done in rewarding someone who actually puts in the effort to cover the competition, and not just by providing menial match reports
• Make sure they regret the decision.

Only time will tell which one will happen. As a closing note, I've gone a little ways I hope to repaying that kind deed, when my youngest brother - who happened to be with me when I picked up my media pass from the South office - managed to decipher the handwriting on one of the membership applications that the club got during the Antipodes Festival.

Listen, George, I got some bad news. I'm not gonna be able to give you that parking space.

Interesting letter sent out to State League 1 clubs this week by FFV. Here's the most interesting section.

Throughout 2016 and prior to expiration of the current term we will conduct a review of our NPL competitions with a view to determining the best competition structure and appropriate licence tenure commencing in 2017. That process will include consultation with existing stakeholders (including NPL Clubs) and will involve consideration of an automatic promotion and relegation system between NPL and Victorian State Leagues. 

Given the review process to take place in 2016 and the fact that following the 2015 season only 1 year will remain of the current licence period, FFV has decided not to offer new NPL licences for the 2016 season. The result of that decision is that the two State League 1 champions in 2015 (NW and SE) will not have the right to apply for an NPL licence in 2016. 

We reiterate that the opportunity to enter NPL in Victoria will exist in 2017 and that the terms on which that may occur will be the focus of our review and consultation process.

This will, I think, annoy some State League 1 clubs that have decided to loosen the purse strings this year in the hope of making it up to NPL. I'll let others discuss the relative justice of this move, but I suppose those clubs with NPL ambitions can always take this as an opportunity to further strengthen their structures in readiness for the 2017 season.

Speaking of the social club
Apparently at this year's family day, the Member for Albert Park, and our number one ticket holder, Martin Foley, made a promise that the social club situation would be sorted within 100 days, a promise that ge claimed we could hold him to. Now whather that was 100 days from the election of the Andrews government - in which case I have been told it would fall on March 15th - or 100 days from the family day, I'm not sure, but there's something for people to use as measuring stick. Frankly, just for the moment I'm much more annoyed that something interesting actually happened at South Melbourne family day, and I wasn't there to witness it.

Around the grounds
When something happens twice, it's a coincidence. When something happens three times, it's a trend.
Me, being well known as a social butterfly, decided it was a good idea to not stay home and feel sorry for myself, and instead head down to Port Melbourne, where the home side would be taking on Pascoe Vale. Now of course the expectation of me among certain parts of my readership would be that I would have gone to Knights instead, but even I have my limits as to how much Croatia i can handle in a week, and besides - I was going to be seeing North Geelong in action anyway.

The beauty of the FFV providing cameras to every club means that you can see at least the key action from the previous week. In the case of Pascoe Vale, because Heidelberg have started filming their games for television now, it was good to see how decisive Pascoe Vale's 3-0 round one loss actually was. And to be honest, not that decisive, only capitulating once they'd conceded the opening goal. Now, Pascoe Vale utterly dominated the first half against Port Melbourne, The home side couldn't even get out of their own half. Still, Port survived unscathed until point, and came out firing in the second half, where Kamal Ibrahim scored a very nice goal to give Port the lead and see Pascoe Vale deteriorate into a rabble. A cheap goal closer to the end killed this game off, though it was a good game to watch overall.

Aside from the game, there was also mingling to be had. As usual I chatted with George (Jesus of Port Melbourne fame), but I also met Elio and Elizabeth, the parents of former Richmond and now Port defender Andrew Viola, and chatted with them about the old days at Richmond before the recent turmoil, and of course the mandatory reminiscence of the food there and Mark Boric chasing balls onto the freeway.

@PaulMavroudis When I needed to find an assistant referee for an Under 21's game Elio would always help out unlike others
— Mark Boric (@MarkBoric) February 27, 2015

It also turned out that the Violas knew roving reporter Skip Fulton, once briefly of this blog before I banished him to more suitable places. Of course by sheer coincidence Skip Fulton was also there, along with Mark Gojszyk of all sorts of things including Shoot Farken. This is a small world indeed. My entry with media pass to Port was also unproblematic, but two problems persist - the lack of access to the outer side, which has the best viewing spots in the ground; and the fact that Port Melbourne still insists on canteen pricing that resembles a hotel mini-bar. $4 for a bottle of iced tea? $2 for a Killer Python? I know you're in a heavily yuppified area, but you're not running a 7-Eleven outlet.

Final thought
They've got chocolate milk now?!

Novermber 2014 digest

Some of the things that happened in November.

I'm reliably told that when we do it, it's called recruiting, not poaching.
Bonel 'Bones' Obradovic, central midfielder from Oakleigh, also ex-Northcote. Milos Lujic seems particularly pleased with this signing. David Stirton, a forward of sorts, arrives from Bentleigh Greens - maybe he wasn't Queenslander enough to play there. Luke Adams, a Kiwi defender with an Aussie passport. Also Andy Brennan from South Hobart. Brennan is a forward/winger, and the standout player in Tasmania over the past few years. This will be his second stint in the Victorian topflight, after his 2013 stint with Bentleigh was ruined by an osteitis pubis injury.

Chris Taylor has also been signed to what the club is calling a 'long term' deal, without specifying what long term means. The inference seems to be that Taylor will also be doing something like a technical director's role, which seems funny to me, because I thought that the roles of senior head coach and technical directors at NPL clubs were supposed to be separate by now.

Lastly, assistant coach Graham Hockless has left for Queensland. His replacement will be the recently retired Tsiaras. Some more obsessive and/or observant readers of South related media may have noted that I hinted towards that signing on the South Facebook page. Honestly, it was a lucky guess. Also, the meaning of the word 'honestly' has now changed.

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it/When everyone's special, no one is/That's not enough! We demand MORE asbestos! MORE asbestos! MORE asbestos!
First up, we have the addition to NPL1 of Eastern Jets/Nunawading-without- anyone-from-the-real-Nunawading/Dr Angelo Postekos' Football Young Talent Time Superstar XFactor Dream Factory, and Murray United, who had already been granted licences from the original contingent of applicants with a year's delay so they could get up to speed in their own time. Then, because of the deal the FFV was forced into with the Coalition of the Unwilling last year, Moreland City and Eastern Lions - the winners of their respective State League 1 divisions have accepted the opportunity to move into NPL1. But no Preston. Seriously. They didn't win their respective title - they blew it in the last two rounds. If they're good enough, maybe they can join in 2016.

Also, Victory and Heart's youth teams are into the NPL Victoria, but not in our division - they'll start in NPL1, which is now split into two conferences, East and West. Everyone plays everyone in their own conference twice, and the teams from the other side once. It's like an oldskool NFL season, only with more chance of teams going bust and worse facilities that teams will be begging local governments to upgrade. Anyway, back to Victory and Heart. Some people will no doubt be aware that players from NPL teams, like our own Andy Kecojevic, play for those teams in National Youth League season (if you can call that handful of a games a season). Will those players choose to stick it out with their 'winter' clubs, or will they move across to their holiday house A-League setups on a permanent basis?

And also, are there enough facilities for everyone? Are there enough players? Are there enough coaches? Is there enough money?

Or, in other words...



Or, as a very wise man on soccer-forum.net said...

Can't see the problem here.

The clubs voted for this system/structure.

The clubs sued the FFV for this.

The clubs voted for all clubs to be given a fair and equal consideration.

The only thing the FFV have done is implement what the clubs wanted.

Are we suggesting that some clubs are more equal than others??

Survey 
I wonder if the results of the South Melbourne fans survey, even if just given in a gist, will ever be released? Probably more chance of the FFV's NPL facilities audit being made public. Also, when's the AGM?

On honouring soccer's Australian history, even those stupid wogs who spent 27 years in that trench warfare filled cesspit of history called the NSL. Did I mention the NSL sucked? Also, let's put the museum in Sydney.
Museums. They're actually complicated things to fund, locate and set up. For instance, where should history be stored and presented? Can a nation's soccer heritage be stored and presented effectively in just one location? What benefits are there in putting non-Sydney histories in Sydney, away from their origins? If non-Sydney centric materials aren't sent to Sydney, would a national soccer museum based in Sydney end up telling an almost inevitably Sydney centric version of history? What is the role of historians for Australian soccer? Is it to confront the myths and mythologisers or is it to jump onto whichever bandwagon is in charge at the time, in the hope of gaining more patronage, and isn't that something that could be asked of so many people in the game right now? What's the story they and/or we want to tell about Australia's soccer history, and who'll get to tell it?

Here are some of the thoughts I made on a Kevin Moore keynote address about the founding of England's National Football Museum, many of which would need to be considered I think in any attempt to recreate such an enterprise here:

First up was the keynote address by Kevin Moore, from England's National Football Museum. How do you create a museum for the entirety of the game, in a nation that has such fervour for the game? It's not easy. But Kevin Moore says you start off by not targeting it at die hard football fans, because they'll turn up anyway.

Because you see football as part of broader society, you don't try and gloss over all the negatives in the game's history, including the stadium tragedies, the violence, racism, misogyny and homophobia, no matter how distasteful these issues are to some. You provide an outlet for people to create and provide their own memories, within reason.

You do not make yourself the be all and end all of historical preservation. You work with local communities to find ways of preserving local history locally, and only step in to preserve history as a last resort. You try and tell stories, not just provide facts and figures. You recognise the importance of topophilia, but you do not become a slave to it, in part because football topophilia can be expressed in several ways.

In summary, Kevin Moore provided a very interesting look at the development of the National Football Museum, from its beginnings in Preston to its move to Manchester. Moore talked about the difficulties in securing funding, the fact that there is no national sports museum in England, and that the museum in some ways has to compete against Premier League club museums, which seek to tell a very different, hagiographic story, and which are often not standalone enterprises, but part of the 'stadium experience'.

The key parts for me are about hagiographies and local histories.With regards to the latter in particular, the emphasis should be on teaching local institutions - clubs, federations, local councils, whatever's relevant - how to maintain and preserve their own local histories locally. Australian soccer is such a diverse experience that to move it all into Parramatta (hypothetically) would be denying local people from being able to learn and add to their own soccer narratives, while replicating a top down approach to preserving history.

On the other hand...
Is the writer of the original article actually being serious? Considering he has to have a dig at the past for reasons I'm not sure of - except, possibly, because it's the right/cool/expected thing to do if you're not Joe Gorman, who is addicted to the street cred one gets as Anglo-Australian soccer fan hanging out with bitter wogs; at least that's my extrapolation of some stupid comment I read responding to one of his posts in The Guardian, probably the article on Middle Park -  I don't see the point, if that's going to be the dominant attitude. I mean, is it really going be worthwhile having a museum which will be:

1. Kings School vs Wanderers
2. Football doesn't exist outside of Sydney and, at a pinch, Newcastle.
3. 1974 Socceroos.
4. Huge gap due to ethnic strife.
5. Frank Lowy is grouse and stuff.

At least I learned what the word 'internecine' means.

Victorian Election Part 1 (Number 1 ticket holder vs wheeled after five years of waiting for the social club vs the bloke who put his hand up and then said for Number 1 ticket holder anyway).
Well, after a tough race between the shadow arts minister and current sitting member Martin Foley, and the Liberal candidate wheeled out when the Liberals finally signed the lease - and Tex Perkins, who once Foley said Labor would fund the repair and restoration of the Palais, said basically you don't need to vote for me anymore - it looks like at this stage that Foley will get retain the seat of Albert Park. Now where's the fuck is our social club?

Victorian Election Part 2 (Someone's crusin' for a bruisin'/Next year in Jerusalem) 

Speaking of the social club.

@cindyn liberal member in Doncaster saw my South top and took credit for the lease, I told him we're still waiting for the social club cash.
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) November 28, 2014

In case you missed it
Me and Pave Jusup  talking about how much the NCIP sucks. Ian Syson is more ambivalent about it. Roy Hay thinks it's grouse.

Does not compute/pots and kettles/γαϊδούρια και πετινούς
So apparently earlier this month Perth Glory played a Cheltenham based souvlaki joint in the semi-finals of some kind of nationwide soccer tournament. Anyone got any idea what that was about? And to make things really absurd, the bloke who wrote this, is now noting in this article the patronising souvlaki commentary. YOU COULD NOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

Bitter is as bitter as does/Fuck this cunt and his never-ending lap of honour/"And how we just made fun of those who had the guts to try and fail"
A lot of people have been getting all misty eyed over the apparent retirement of Les Murray (the soccer pundit, not the poet, and the fact that I'm not as spiteful of the latter as I am of the former these days is disturbing). As for myself, the first thing that's thrown me is that I thought that Laszlo was already more or less retired, because when was he on TV anyway? Was he on The World Game while it was still buried at 11pm on SBS2 on whatever day it was scheduled? Anyway, people have been lining up to offer their praises on a worthwhile career promoting the game, and more power to them and to him, as he did put in the hard yards over the journey. However, one bit of misplaced praise in this grizzled nostalgia fueled marathon has really pissed me off, and that's the recent line Les has been trying to spin about being a friend of the ethnic clubs, and 'why oh why are we so mean to them?'


And of all people to be asking the question in the most recent notable case, it had to be Mark Bosnich. The same Mark Bosnich who can't decide if we should  or shouldn't have ethnic clubs in the A-League. Now the reason of course that I get upset at Murray's commentary is because SBS - the supposed promoter of multiculturalism and of migrant communities - has in my most honest and considered opinion (as seen through red mists of rage and possibly incidentally coinciding with Ezequiel Trumper's thoughts on this matter) long forfeited any right to speak on behalf of Australia's ethnic communities. And this is not just because SBS has long exorcised non-English language programming off its prime time schedule on its primary station, and filled SBS2 with American sitcom repeats. It's because when it came time for SBS's soccer pundits - including Murray - to stand up and defend the migrant and ethnic soccer milieu from its detractors, they were found wanting.

For me, the most glaring example is of course the hatchet job Southern Cross A-League bid profile, a piece so vile that even one of the people behind our then rival bids for A-League expansion (Canberra United) could only shake his head at how bizarre it was. If that sounds like I've got a massive chip on my shoulder, so be it, but I don't think there's any need to apologise for holding that stance. I'm not going to begrudge anyone that wants to get a little misty eyed for Les' final bow, but as for me, this bloke sums up my feelings on the matter.

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about
Those crazy Melbourne Keniggets fans. Some of them seem to like talking about South even more than I do. More of it, I say.

You can always sleep through work tomorrow
- OK, I'm done.
- You're done?
- Yeah, there's no point in dragging this crap out any longer. Do you want to do the thing?
- Sure. You're reading South of the Border, the South Melbourne Hellas blog that hates old people just because it can.

Sunk by ghost of Hellas past - South Melbourne 1 North Eastern MetroStars 2

The club sandwich at the Limerick Arms is a joke. Scott Tunbridge scored the winner against us ten years down the line from his South stint. And the corneal scarring on my good as gone left eye got inflamed again. All in all, a top day at the soccer.

I'd like to think it wasn't hubris or over confidence on the part of those South fans discussing the costs of heading to Sydney to play Bonnyrigg White Eagles - whom North Eastern MetroStars will meet in the final - more so the need to be prepared in the event of South beating MetroStars and being required to make plans at very short notice, made more complicated and expensive by the fact of the NRL grand final this week. All this while a bee tried to get into the remnants of my gin and tonic, and while Steve From Broady poured himself a beer from the communal jug and made it frothier than an Eaton Mall frap.

For what it was worth, I thought we'd justly be favourites for this game, but victory was hardly an assured thing. Going into a gale force wind and copping an own goal in the first ten minutes or so, not a good start. Barely looking like we'd bothered to turn up, it looked like this was going to get nasty, as the visitors played a skillful and pacy sort of game, while our skill level deserted us. It didn't help that the wind changed direction at halftime, but that'd be short changing the visiting team with the name straight out of Lawn Bowls Rendell's and Old Man Dunkerley's Victorian Champions League Summer Soccer Football competition.

(By the way, how good was it sucking up to Martin Foley again? We'd ditched him for the Liberal Party candidate for his seat once we got the job done with the Lakeside lease arrangement, and then we had some sort of special ceremony for Foley to show that we still loved him, baby. That other woman meant nothing to us. Girl, I do not even remember her name. Pamela or something. It is irrelevant for our purposes.)

That we somehow held on long enough without conceding another goal, and actually managed to work our way into the game whereby our equaliser was unapologetically deserved, was a pleasing development. In typical retrospective sports report fashion though, Jamie Reed's missed penalty doomed the side to lose. Never mind James Musa's effort against the crossbar in the second half which still could have given us the lead - Reed's miss was the clincher.

And if that's being unfair to Reed, in singling him out for blame when there were 92 other minutes of stuff to be done, and considering he'd put in the great cross for Milos Lujic's equaliser, then that's the whole point isn't it, of the aforementioned typically lazy hindsight afflicted match report. Pick a scapegoat, and run with it for all it's worth. A good match reporter, even one that can't really see, would for professional reasons take the time to write a nuanced, relatively objective report.

But I'm not getting paid for this, and I suspect that like the players themselves, the long season - 32 league, cup and playoff games, not to mention the long pre-season - has caught up with all of us. We clapped the players off, disappointed as we all were to witness that kind of end to an otherwise successful season - but with no social club yet to hunker down in, sticking around on the concourse in front of our grandstand, even if there was the women's game to follow, seemed kind of pointless, especially since now my left eye was playing up again.

Four or so hours after I entered the Eye and Ear Hospital's emergency department - and I'm not complaining here about the wait, because there were clearly others with a higher level of priority than me needing care - and having been told that I probably wouldn't be given the anaesthetic drop into my eyeball, because 'we can't keep doing that', which probably had some sound, 'let's not get this guy addicted to steroids' medical reasoning behind it, I stood waiting while the doctors talked about having an absinthe party, and then sat down in the optometrist's chair as we went through what one nurse has previously called the 'fat file' of my left eye's history - retinal detachment, cataract, light sensitivity, ulcer, the herpes simplex virus causing blisters to explode on the surface of the eye with attendant corneal scarring.

The doctor and I agreed that while it was an option which would probably need to be undertaken at some point, removing the eye would be a fairly drastic step, especially as it could cause an auto-immune response in the other eye. So keep taking the ointment and these drops, and come back on Friday. In the end, I was glad to be able to get some sleep. Then I woke up on Monday, watched some NFL, played Grand Theft Auto IV, went and bought a power supply for my brother's computer, and did some reading. That no one seemed to miss me during this delay in getting this post out hurt my fragile ego somewhat. Worse is the horror of having the facade of my affected disaffection swept away so easily.

What now?
I don't know, you tell me. Some pre-season kick and chase, not much on the line kind of affair, some time next year, or very late this year. Who knows? Maybe we'll find a way to get the Lakeside ticketing system running properly. We'll start hearing rumours about players coming and going - it's already started, if you know where to look. There'll also be the gala ball on October 31st. Not sure if I'm going to that yet, though I suppose it would be nice if I went to Merrimu Receptions for something other than my funeral. That's a little inside joke there, by the way, understood by me, SMFC TV cameraman Tim Dovas, and maybe Cuddles.

As for the blog...
The usual deal. We'll (I'll) be slowing down. At some point in the next two weeks, I'll hand out some awards. I'll put out the odd book review, try and find some historical artefacts to put up, and thank everyone that needs to be thanked at the end of the year. There'll also be an AGM, and hopefully news of the social club beginning to take shape - and even though it may create the most hits for this site, I'm hoping for a minimal amount of controversy.

Something I thought about while reading a Stewart Lee book recently
Ever had a great idea for a written piece, but you were worried that no-one would publish it? No? How about a slightly above average idea, but had no where to even pitch it? Well, that's the situation I'm in at the moment, whereby I have this idea for a piece - and not just an idea in and of itself, but a means in which to potentially rescue a great but reputedly borderline mean and unpublishable piece, and add to the myriad discussion on all things Australian soccer identities in the post-Lowy, post-multicultural era. And I've found that epithets like 'best Australian soccer writer', 'most underrated', 'funniest', 'most obscure', hell even 'fifth or seventh best Australian soccer writer', or 'one of its worst' - some semi-real, some of which I may have made up about myself - mean close to nothing. What's the point of this hard earned imaginary and/or imagined street cred, when there's no one to turn to get this 'idea' into print (and it needs to be print for aesthetic reasons, if nothing else). So kids, the lessons are. Don't shoot from the hip. Neuter your sense of individuality. Don't upset old people. Play the game.

After much debate, we eventually decided that
the shade of blue of Upfield's playing kit was
most similar to 'Robin Egg Blue'.

Around the grounds
Robin Egg Blue
Ian Syson made the offer of giving me a lift out to neutral Truganina to watch the champions of State League 4 West, Hoppers Crossing, and their North division counterpart Upfield, play off in a post-season finals series. After finding myself in a state of confusion on the importance of this game, I was eventually convinced that both sides had already won promotion regardless of this result, and that this was just part of the process of determining who was the best of the State League 4 sides - so, in short, the stakes were pride. The first half saw Hoppers start off with a bit more polish and vigour, but once Upfield settled down they looked good, putting together some quick passing play. One of those plays, along with a bit of patented individual brilliance saw them open the scoring. Too bad for them they kept giving away fouls, and thus they copped a goal from a set piece. The second half was all Hoppers, as they stormed to a 4-1 win, which could have been more if not for the intervention of the woodwork. Arndell Park, the current home ground of the Truganina Hornets, is not a bad ground, though the addition of an extra lighting pole in between the benches on the outer side would not have gone astray. It wasn't too windy last night, but I can imagine there'd be days where it'd be horrible to watch games there,

Final thought
Things could have gone worse this year.

Perfect start to 2014 maintained - Hume City 0 South Melbourne 3

Was there a player in the under 20s match who was wearing a headband? Iqi Jawadi, sitting behind me in the stand during that game, seemed to think so, and what's more he was jealous of that player being allowed to do it when he himself wasn't allowed for reasons unknown to me.

As for the seniors, that first half from us wasn't crash hot. Going forward we were disorganised and slightly careless, sending through balls forward that were almost always over hit. We also resorted to too many long balls, which were easily dealt with by the Hume defence for the most part. Even though I guess we were going to the end favoured by the breeze, it's not like it was last week's four goal wind. Besides, it was as much as a crosswind as anything. Jamie Reed got angry at Milos Lujic, Milos Lujic got angry at the linesman with the oil slick hairdo, and I was wondering how the hell we were going to score aside from the possibility of a Hume defensive clusterfuck, which almost happened anyway.

Defensively, things weren't looking much brighter. Hume hit the post with a well taken free kick which went out of Jason Saldaris' reach, and were particularly penetrating on our right hand side. It's a wonder we managed to limit them to probably just one real clear cut chance, which ended up being fluffed with a weak attempt on goal. So, 0-0 at halftime, and I was wondering what we were going to do to turn the game in our favour.

The second half was altogether a very different story. Ladies and gentlemen, we dominated. We controlled the midfield, played well out of the back, and were starting to get forward in a much more organised manner. Still, you gotta get the goal to make it all count, and my was it worth wait for when the deadlock was broken.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Either way, Referee Perry Mur
 doesn't seem to give a toss. Photo: Cindy Nitsos

A lovely bit of work from several players on the left saw centreback James Musa make a run forward, cutting the ball to the top of the 18 yard box from where Nick Epifano - who ran himself into the ground today - put the ball out of the reach of Chris Oldfield in the Hume goal for 1-0. It was the best bit of play we've put together all season. Hume finally managed to get it up to their end in a meaningful manner, but couldn't make their big opportunity of the second half count. Who knows what would have happened if the game had gone level?

Instead a few minutes later, Epifano was the beneficiary of more good work up the field, this time by Jamie Reed I think, making it 2-0. The most pleasing thing about these first two goals, is that they weren't dependent on opposition mistakes, the kinds of goals of we've had the fortune of scoring from a few times this season. Of course they all count the same, but it shows that it's not just our pressure and the frailties of the opposition that can get us goals - we can create them from scratch, too.

We got one of those fortuitous ones in the end, as Milos Lujic made the most of Hume's poor and confused attempt at clearing a cross. At 3-0, this game was done, and the important thing was to not get some yellow cards or injuries. Both seemed under threat when on the grandstand side, a tangle of players decided to try their at some wrestling maneuvers. I think we managed somehow to get away with both from that incident, though I'm not quite sure how. The second half was the best football we've played this season. It may not have been as exhilarating as some of the other games this season, but for effectiveness, it was very good.

Getting home was a bit of a slog, as it usually is from there if you're doing the public transport thing. Didn't hang around to clap the players off this time, instead trying to get out as quickly as possible to cross the no good option Barry Road. Then power walking (by my standard) up the hill, then down the road to the station, where at least this time the lift was working. Made it in time, but boy the legs were sore after it. Had some random on the Werribee train claim to remember me, even though I was in year 10 at the time and she was in year 7. 15 years on and she still remembers my face. I had no idea who she was though.

Anyway, four from four and top of the table. Things could be worse.

Can someone tell me where the line for too ethnic is exactly?
We've spoken about Hume's new grandstand and facilities before, and they were augmented today by a nice, sunny day, a surface in excellent condition, and a decent PA system, even though I'm not sure how they get away with their theme song with its prominent chorus of 'Anadolu'. I'm kinda disappointed that they use the slick version of the song, when they could be using this version instead.



Also, what's the deal with getting the red and white seats when you've changed the strip to a black and white deal?

Next game
The undefeated (only played two matches) Ballarat Red Devils at home on Thursday night. Why this got moved to Thursday from Wednesday, I'm not sure. I suppose it's a good thing that we're not a religious club, what with it being Μεγάλη Εβδομάδα and all that, when 98% of Melbourne's Greek community remembers that they're Orthodox.

Oh yeah, get there early to pick up and/or buy your memberships.

Jersey night rundown
Would the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands. And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry. - John Lennon
Some interesting things happened in between the times I was checking Twitter etc for footy and NPL scores. Interesting lay out for starters. This year both the 'indoor' and 'slightly less indoor' areas were used. The latter was used as a sort of poor person's purgatory, which doesn't bother anti-social me, but might have made it harder for people to socialise if that's what they wanted to do.

It actually reminded me a bit of the way the tutorial I was in for 'Freedom and Constraint' at Melbourne University was set up back in 2002 (taught by this bloke), with the good looking and popular students on the main table getting all the attention, with whoever was left over ending up on the other table in the back corner of some really poorly designed and selected room. Now I'm not putting all the blame in my failing that subject on that arrangement - after all, I did fail eight subjects during my year and a half stint there - but it didn't help.

Look, women! Here come some now!
As mentioned last week, South Melbourne Women's FC have a new president, albeit with much of the same people still on their committee. Last night some of these people were at the jersey night, and the implication seemed to be from the presentation that we were - at the very least - on the way to reconciling the two factions. Unfortunately, not very much detail was provided on that front, so it's hard to know exactly what's going on. Cause for optimism?

Tweets will set you free, check the tweets
While I hope my cynicism is misplaced, I'm less optimistic about the social club situation being resolved in our favour. Local member of parliament Martin Foley was there, and he gave a little bit of a speech after being made no. 1 ticket holder for 2014. As part of that speech he asked for the current state government to honour the deal made by the previous state government with South to give us our 40 years and let us complete the Lakeside facility.

A commendable sentiment, which was taken up quite quickly by a couple of serving committee members on Twitter. For example:

Martin Foley the Labor minister for Albert Park, pledges to honour the 40 year lease as per the MOU if they come into government.
— Tony Margaritis (@sthmel) April 11, 2014 

which is a little different from this one:

Martin Foley Labour Member for Albert Park has just said at Jersey Night, that the current government must honour the 40 yr deal.
— Tom (@tom_kalas) April 11, 2014

comments which were followed by a tweet from Foley himself:

At the @SMFC season launch and community wants to know why #Springst won't deliver overdue social rooms promised pic.twitter.com/XPIL0FIrpe
— Martin Foley (@MartinFoleyMP) April 11, 2014

Which seemed an unusual comment to make, since the current state government has actually come out with some detail about what the issue is, as they see it. The question I wanted to (and then did) ask Foley was:

So, @MartinFoleyMP, are you saying that if Labor wins 2014 election, that @smfc/Lakeside deal will be sorted out as matter of urgency?
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 11, 2014

The answer to that is not yet known definitively. Short of hoping that Labor win the upcoming election - and as yet I've seen no ironclad guarantee yet that they will deviate from the Liberals' policy position - what is the plan for resolving the situation, either by taking the government on or acquiescing to their preferred 21 year model? Maybe time to crank out another letter to John Eren or something, and maybe this time I'll get a response.

Overall, it was an enjoyable evening. The food was a step up from the previous year's offerings at this venue. Soup as a starter(!) instead of the usual antipasto and dips, garlic bread, good mains, and dessert that wasn't fruit or a cheese platter. Stay tuned to SMFC TV and South Radio for related things that happened. How the hell did I live my life before Twitter and before having a phone that could easily and cheaply access Twitter? Sometimes it feels good to be part of the present instead of my usual existence in the past.

Around the grounds
Part 1 - Golden rays of sunshine light a Coburg afternoon
Moreland City were at home to Sydenham Park, on a field that was surprisingly not bogged down after recent rain, but rather had. After an even start, Sydenham took control of this match and eventually ran out deserved 3-0 winners. The first goal was quite nice, as it involved a nutmeg on the byline. Tommi 'Gomer Pyle' Tommich in the Sydenham goal had very little to do until the last 15 minutes, when the visitors went down to 10 men but were already 3-0 up. The inevitability of the result seemed to calm down the Sydenham coach, with his massive chin and fan-like yelling of instructions every two seconds.

The downside? There was no HP sauce this year. Even worse, I didn't win the raffle. Massive props though to the Sydenham player who copped a yellow card for letting loose at the ref with a 'пичка ти матер', after an admittedly pretty crappy no advantage call.

Part 2 - Ξεκάρφωτες μαλακίες 
For the first time in many years - probably since 2003 - the Paisley Park derby between Altona Magic and Altona East was on. The NPL shuffling of the decks  has seen the Magic demoted to East's division, and the home side marginally had the better of it in the first half, though East had the half's best opportunity - any shot on target would have done the trick, but it went over the bar instead. The second saw Magic step up their game and begin to take more control. They opened the scoring with some neat play around the box, a pass inside to an unmarked striker, who popped it into the back of the net while East were waiting for an offside to be called, which is pretty stupid, because it wasn't offside.

East were never out of the game though, and eventually snared a late equaliser from a goalmouth scramble, and were able to avoid defeat with the last play of the game, when some Magic player headed his effort from the six yard box wide when it seemed harder to miss than score. I think 1-1 was one of the two fair outcomes for this game. There was also a bit of ETHNIC VIOLENCE when one old man slapped another old man, after the latter dared him to do it during what initially appeared to be a half joking conversation.

Magic's raffle prices are a bit of joke by the way. $2 for one ticket? Moreland was selling them for $1 each or three for $2.

Frenemies department
Listening to 3XY Radio Hellas the other week, I was surprised to hear one George Triantos being interviewed on the phone about the South game against Gully. What happened to our being blacklisted? When did we drop the mutual animosity? Why didn't I get a memo about this? I'm feeling all disoriented.

Speaking of which, when I went to listen to the show today, all I got instead was the Oakleigh Cannons show, by which I mean some Orthodox Palm Sunday church service.

At least we still have Elias Donoudis to hate without fear or favour.

@smfc see how I look after you guys, and not one thank you. You're at home this week right ? pic.twitter.com/yt2S22DXjJ
— Elias Donoudis. (@carlsaganaki) April 10, 2014

Final thought
Victorian soccer hasn't been the same since the nut sellers stopped stocking παστέλια.

Why in Quetzalcoatl's name are people applauding this?

Ok, so I can get the part about how people are enjoying having their egos stroked, furiously. But take a step back from the initial good feeling, and you realise the guy has next to no clue what the fuck he's on about. Either that or the work experience kid (or more likely one of the uni labor students who work in MPs offices) got into the liquor cabinet.


South Melbourne FC celebrates 50 proud years with a big win

by Michael Danby MHR
Monday February 23, 2009
from Hansard


Mr Danby (Melbourne Ports) (6.53 pm) - On Saturday night I celebrated with my friends at the South Melbourne Football Club the opening of the 2009 season and 50 years of tradition of the great South Melbourne Football Club. I want to congratulate President Leo Athanasakis and his commilla on a glittering event marked by a beginning to the year, with South Melbourne winning the Hellanic Cup, defeating Heidelberg United by 3 - 0. It was a good beginning to the year and I hope the club will have continuing success under its coach, Michael Michalakopoulos.


Now I don't what the fuck a 'commilla' is, but I think it's married to the Prince of Wales. As for 'the event marked by a beginning to the year', I'm not sure that even Kevin Rudd's 'education revolution' can save us from words strung together in such a manner which might make intuitive sense to some clod out there, but will probably leave most people struggling to remember proper English syntax after encountering it. Ahem.



It is very interesting to see the development of the South Melbourne team. Its new captain is a young Turkish Australian called Ramazan Tavsancioglu. My friend, Martin Foley, the Member for Albert Park, and I are working very hard with the S.M.F.C on the refurbishment of the South Melbourne ground - the Bob Jane Stadium - with Victorian Athletics, the Victorian government is undertaking a $74 million proposal for the refurbishment of the whole ground.


Ok, so now the money's gone up from $50 million to $74 million. I take back everything I've said so far, and will say in my next paragraph. Just gimme, gimme, gimme!


Ultimately, South Melbourne deserves its place in the A-League - it will get back there as it must get back into national competition. It is now exclusively hooked up to the local community in training youngsters. It is not simply an ethnic based club anymore and South Melbourne will get its rightful place in the A-League when it is recognised as a more widely based club. When a new round of clubs are being asked to join the A-League, S.M.F.C. should be considered on its merits.


I don't know which youngsters being trained by us he's referring too. Surely not the ones out at Caulfield though. Unless he's talking about one of the junior girls teams... but somehow I don't think so. And where the fuck did he find this connection to the local community? Unless he means himself and Foley. And then he goes into this A-League thing... while we have unlimited space for me to go over this whole thing again, we sadly don't have enough people with unlimited attention spans.

To be fair, the version on the official Hansard transcription reads better, if only because it is not the result of something written by a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters, but the sentiments to me are opportunist and typical of the hobnobbing efforts of local MPs within their constituencies. Maybe I've just read too many of Shane Maloney's Murray Whelan books. Or maybe I recall when we had the patronage of an even more prestigious political advocate, who pissed off when we he didn't need us anymore, and an important lesson was forgotten somewhere along the way.