Point gained or two points squandered? Northcote City 1 South Melbourne 1

Ever get the feeling you've seen the same game twice? That was one of the feelings I had after this game, mostly because it was not that much different to the one I'd seen the night before (see the 'around the grounds' section for a roundup of that game).

The pitch was not in good condition. In fact it was probably the worst playing surface I'd seen all season, but more on that later. Actually, fuck it, let's digress two paragraphs into the report.

Oh, but when I write this stuff...

Kudos to whoever was running the official South Facebook page yesterday when the content on the right was posted.

While it's not like Northcote or any other club goes out of their way to present such a shocking surface for a game, the 'equestrian' backhander in this official piece of SMFC communication is nevertheless one small step for man, and one giant leap for bloggers who now know that their formerly unsanctioned pettiness may well end up having a professional outlet and maybe even a media pass. OK, maybe not a media pass.

Suffice to say that while more than one person who ventured out to John Cain mentioned that there was far more grass (and weeds, and clover) on the outer hills than on the playing arena, probably no one expected Pravda the South official site to come out and say something of this nature, especially since the Lakeside surface hasn't been in that great a condition itself in recent weeks.

And what credentials does whoever came up with the equestrian comment have to make that call? Ah, the questions that keep you up at night.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programme

Chris Taylor offers to sell you a genuine Rollex watch, just
like the moviestars wear. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

You make decisions all the time about how you're going to approach a game, and that goes for the fans as well. That's why I didn't rock up with an umbrella. Nevertheless I had decided on being one of the hardcore morons and not only standing on the outer, but also going behind the goals where we spent so many games during our relocation residency. Sure the city silhouette is pretty from the grandstand, the crossbar at the carpark end obscures the view something terrible and the rain made things miserable and cold and hard to see, but it's what you have to do sometimes to prove how big of a supporter you are. Also, you get closer to Clarendon Corner and their in joke chants.

Tim Mala was out due to getting five yellows, so Shaun Timmins moved over to right back while Brad Norton came back into the side in his once customary left back position. For them, Trent Rixon was a no show. The first half was crap. Nothing of any particular note happened. Oh wait, I bought a packet of B or C grade snakes from the nutseller, which helped keep the sugar levels up for a while, and when distributed to all manner of South folk at the game, they won me the fame and admiration of all who had the fortune of eating one. Well, at least for as long as the cheap flavouring lasted.

Milos Lujic celebrates scoring his 15th league goal for the
season. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

The second half saw us not only get on top, but also create several chances. We kept getting closer, but perhaps the ground made us wary of taking that first time shot, because we just kept waiting and waiting for the perfect opening instead of a good enough opening. Eventually Tyson Holmes slipped a ball through for Milos Lujic who tucked it away into the corner, and the crowd behind the goals went wild. Unfortunately not long afterwards calamitous defending from seemingly everyone in our back half led to Northcote equalising. I couldn't tell what happened or who was responsible, but we probably deserved to cop the goal just for the slapstick attempt at defending, especially the way Jason Saldaris was running from one end of the box to the other.

Was the foul in the box? Outside the box? Did the Northcote player trip over the ball? Did Norton get the ball? Was there a trailing leg, and should that matter? Saldaris guessed right, maybe even got a hand on to it, but it went in anyway. Northcote almost took the lead which would have been a criminal outcome, but instead we still had the best chances to win the game after that. Holmes sent a shot wide from a tight angle, and Lujic had too much time and ended up squandering a one on one chance.

On exiting the ground I found out that my earphones had carked it and I had to deal with stupid reality on the way home. Also, Oakleigh's 2-1 win over Bentleigh means the gap between us has closed to seven points with seven games to play.

Next week
Pascoe Vale away on Friday night. Yes, yes, I know, we're all mostly looking to the woodfired pizza. Three points? Not before I get a charcoaled crust on my margherita goddammit.

We had been scheduled to play Bentleigh on Tuesday, but that has been moved to Wednesday August 6th due to some reason or other.

Player Points tallies revealed! Maybe!
I like to give them a bit of stick when they deserve it, but on this front at least FFV have come through with the goods. Well, sort of. They've provided not only the tallies but also the breakdowns of each NPL and NPL1 squad player by player. Here then are the NPL squad tallies, and here are the NPL1 squad tallies.

'Dick, you ever wonder what it would be like if FFV was a
competent organisation?'
'Say, that's dangerous thinking Paul; you best stick to your work'
'Ha, OK'

If we are to take the documents at face value, then we are at the higher end of the NPL table, with 230 points used up from our available 275. By comparison our nearest competitor on the ladder, Oakleigh Cannons, have 235, but they have also used a marquee qualification on Nate Foster. Quite why we don't have a marquee allocation, I don't know.

Of more concern for us is that we have only two 'home grown' players, and they are goalkeeper Chris Maynard, who's only there as back up and not seeing any game time, and Dion Kirk who was added to the youth squad and then promoted through to the twenty man NPL senior squad to exploit a loophole which also saves him from being counted as a switching player. Andrew Kecojevic, at 16 years of age, is the only other player we have as deducting points from the overall tally.

It will be very interesting to see how this works from next year onwards, when switching players will accrue points from the start of the season as opposed to midway through this season, and when the players points cap starts falling (if it starts falling). Of course, there are those who have savaged the accuracy of this data set, claiming variously that it is:

• Wrong
• Embarrassingly wrong
• Prone to errors in part to due to allowing clubs to self report their squad details.
• Prone to error because the FF V has no idea how to count, let alone understand how its own system works.

In which case there's probably no point in worrying too much about whether any of the data means anything at all, other than how are we ever going to do this NPL thing the way it was sort of intended if we can't get one of its core elements even remotely right.

As for me, I'm now waiting with baited breath for the results of the facilities audit to be released.

You can't fire me, because I quit!
No more stats, as Steve from Broady - aka Big Griff - has either been made redundant or has quit in disgust for some reason. Of course, these only existed on this blog for the past season because of the fact that he was providing them for the club, but we'll still be sad that they'll no longer be a part of this site. As for Steve's media commitments on South Radio, I'm fairly certain he'll still be a part of that, as I've not heard otherwise.

Public transport changes
You may recall last week that I noted the change of the 112 tram to St Kilda - the tram that goes past Lakeside - has now changed and become a 12 tram to St Kilda. That was not the only change to the network though, with several routes having been changed. The only major changes I have been able to notice as relates to NPL people, is a change to Green Gully (which more or less leaves it at the same level of inconvenience) and Port Melbourne, which now requires you to take a different bus from a different location. Check our public transport guide for the relevant updates.

Around the grounds
The opposite of life is not death, it's indifference
Asked around, but no one seemed very interested in coming out to Port Melbourne vs Green Gully on Friday night. So it was just me and my soul crushing self--hatred and loneliness - and really, why else would someone choose to go to a game like this on their own? Gully had not much to play for, their annoying tendency to go on a barnstorming late run to another barely deserved title scuppered by the fact that in 2014 there will be no finals series. Port are trying to keep their heads above the relegation zone. The first half was a complete non event, so much so that even George, the well known bearded marshal at Port (also a big South fan) reckoned he was falling asleep. The second half was more worthwhile, as Port created several good chances and even took the lead. Sadly for the home team, Gully scored an equaliser late with what was probably their only real chance for the game. That's the way it ended, amid a brooding sense of irreversible decay; a small, disinterested crowd, a former commentator turned security guard, and the people at the gate not even bothering to hassle me about my FFV season pass as usually happens at Port.

Final thought
Sometimes, what happens at Paisley Park, stays at Paisley Park.

Theodore's goal makes it nine wins in a row -South Melbourne 1 Pascoe Vale 0

A Matthew Theodore goal after 25 minutes was enough to give South Melbourne the win over a dogged Pascoe Vale outfit, as well as preserve its perfect start to the season.

Aside from that moment however, South put in its most disjointed league performance for the season, looking flat and finding it difficult to cope with the visiting side's tenacity, and the stop start nature of the contest.

For the first time in several weeks the South starting eleven saw a change, with Andrew Mullet getting his first league start in a South shirt after captain Michael Eagar failed to recover from the foot injury he received late against Bentleigh last week. Brad Norton was captain in Eagar's place.

In the first couple of minutes, South looked to continue where it had left off last week, but soon the game regressed into a series of mistakes from both sides, as neither team was able to settle down into any sort of rhythm. South's midfield in particular looked out of synch, failing to get back to defend quickly enough, as well as delivering poorly to the forwards.

For their part, the 13th placed Pascoe Vale didn't come to just defend, and at times looked the more fluid and dangerous of the two sides. But when Theodore collected a loose ball on the edge of the area after Pascoe Vale failed to clear from a corner, and slotted home a low shot past former South keeper Stefaan Sardelic, it was always going to be an uphill battle for the visitors.

Matthew Theodore's teammates congratulate him on what turned out to be the decisive goal.
Photo Cindy Nitsos.

South settled down after that, and forced two good saves out of Sardelic from long range efforts, but the second goal to kill off the game would prove to be elusive. Nick Epifano, who copped a ball to the face, went off at halftime giving Leigh Minopoulos an extended stint on the field, but even 2014's super-sub - who increasing numbers of supporters had been calling to get a start - was unable to create much.

Leigh Minopoulos loses the ball after a good run down the
right. South fans were furious, as they thought the Pascoe
Vale defender clearly handled the ball in the process of
dispossessing Minopoulos. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

Milos Lujic had the best chance of the second half, after a series of headed balls appeared to sit up nicely for him, but he pulled his shot to the left. Pascoe Vale kept pressing, but were generally unable to force Jason Saldaris into making a save. Their best opportunities came from set pieces, but even two late free kicks from out wide were sent out harmlessly.

Not so harmless was a clearance from James Musa towards the end of the match, which sailed high out of the playing area and struck the head of one of the security guards near the players race.

South now finds itself six points clear at the top of the table, after Oakleigh drew 1-1 at home to Northcote, and nine points clear of third placed Heidelberg. A disastrous run for Bentleigh - just one point out of a possible nine in their last three outings - sees them fall well off the pace, even making their game in hand irrelevant. But there's a very long way to go yet.

Next week
Away to an increasingly unpredictable Werribee City, who after a recent poor run - which included a home loss to last placed Goulburn Valley - managed to beat Dandenong Thunder 3-0 away from home.

Dockerty Cup news
Bit of a rough result, being drawn away to Dandenong Thunder, to be played on Wednesday 28th May at 7:30PM. We play them in the league just a few days later, too.

Fundraising ideas
Instead of raffling off the signed balls and/or hampers or whatever else it is they use for prizes, they should offer patrons the chance to select the music for the pre-game fill in time between the end of the under 20s match and the start of the seniors.

Maybe they could even auction it off at the jersey night? If you won, your selection would have to suitable for a family audience, but at least it would be a chance to get rid of that awful house music and raise some money for the club. Maybe someone would even choose to have no music before the game.

Rules for some but not for others? The case of St Albans
There will be many hiccups and bumps on the road as the NPL tries to get its footing in Victoria, and we've just reached a new one with St Albans apparently being docked three points for not fielding an under 13s team in some fixture or other.

While on the face of it the punishment seems to fit the crime, this missive on the St Albans website, written by committee member Joseph Hovanjec - and in all honesty, one of the best pieces of writing I've ever seen from a local soccer club, if only for its clarity and directness - goes into some depth on the matter as seen from their side.

The crux of the issue for St Albans seems to be, that given the short amount of time available from learning that teams were successful in being offered an NPL licence, to actually starting, getting together teams for every age group was incredibly difficult - this is especially so when St Albans is in a very competitive market, with Melbourne Knights, Sunshine George Cross and Green Gully all located nearby.

(Oddly, no one has yet mentioned that junior recruitment difficulty is a result at least in part of the abandonment of FFV's preferred zoning model, though mention has been made of too many teams being offered places in the metro area.)

And, St Albans' argument follows, unlike other prospective NPL teams from around Victoria, which just assumed that they were 'in' (Surf Coast, anyone?), St Albans are effectively being punished for doing the right thing by waiting until their application was confirmed which, seeing as apparently all the 2014 VPL teams were assured of NPL status as part of last year's peace deal, was a situation teams like St Albans could not take advantage of.

The issue even made it to radio (and thanks to one of our readers Skip, who sent us a reminder to listen in), where St Albans president Robert Colina called up to chat with FFV's NPL head honcho Liam Bentley. It's about 25 minutes in, and well worth a listen to hear one man absolutely on the edge of his tether, and the other man trying to respectfully answer the questions while still upholding his duty to his employer and the overall direction of the NPL.

That call was followed up soon after by Box Hill United's Nicholas Tsiaras, one of the spearheads of the co-signatory group which took on the FFV over the NPL last year, who said that everyone knew what they were getting in for, and that everyone is and must play by the same rules. Tsiaras' point of view has also made it to soccer-forum.net, where the debate has continued.

What this situation has highlighted are the differences in expectations and behaviour within the NPL Victoria licensee constituency. Where a club like St Albans expects if not outright lenience from the FFV, than at least practical acknowledgement that they've done everything in their power to get their player and team quotas filled, other clubs are expecting no such favours.

Where St Albans are looking for assistance from the FFV, the attitude from other NPL constituencies is that FFV should be a 'small government' administrative body and not an interfering body, an attitude most strongly put forward last year by another co-signatory figurehead, South Melbourne board member Tom Kalas.

Others meanwhile, including myself, have asked the question about why leniency is not being shown in this area, when leniency in other areas - the big one being facilities failing to meet NPL criteria - seems to have a foothold.

On soccer-forum, Tsiaras provided a reasonable explanation for this, mentioning the fact of the game's poor cousin status in this state compared to other sports meant that it would be difficult for many teams to meet those requirements straight off the bat.

The counter argument to that is that clubs like St Albans have put in the hard yards with regards to facilities over a period of decades, while other clubs chose to spend money on players and the short term goal of winning championships, as opposed to establishing long term soccer infrastructure.

But whichever argument one chooses to side with in the facilities debate, one thing appears to be certain - that if teams don't improve their facilities by the end of the three or so year leniency period - there will be consequences, with FFV soon to begin the process of auditing facilities:

As mentioned in the previous NPL Delegates Meeting FFV will be conducting Facility Audits of all NPL clubs’ facilities. 

As you can understand getting to all 28 clubs is a big task and as such we have allocated a time and date for each club, we ask that you make one person from the club available to open doors, gates etc. No decisions or recommendations etc will be made on the day, this is simple an exercise in gathering information to give us a picture of where each club is at as well as provide a foundation for your ongoing facility planning. 

This will be a top to bottom report on what each club does and does not have, as well as sizes and other issues which should take around 45 minutes in total. 

We will be providing each NPL club with the report within 7 days of the inspection including at what level ( Class A, B etc) each area of their facility meets."

- extract of an FFV letter to NPL clubs, as posted on soccer-forum.net by Nicholas Tsiaras.

And the consequences of those audits could be far messier than a three point deduction.

Around the grounds
'So I've been watching a lot of Victorian soccer lately, and you know what I've discovered, Dr. Katz?'
'No, what?'
'I need a girlfriend.'

So, Port vs Hume, that huge blockbuster between two teams who won't win the championship but won't get relegated either (I realise that's a very early call to make), and a suitably large crowd was in place for this one - it's always a good sign when a goalkeeper has to jump the fence to fetch their own ball for their goal kicks. My first observation was this:

SelecTV went broke three years ago, but their sponsor board at Port Melbourne Sharks will never die. #nplvic
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 16, 2014

which became slightly more topical to this blog's general theme (South Melbourne the soccer club) when this was tweeted in response:

@PaulMavroudis bring back the "South Melbourne Hellas and Barbaresso Ouzo, a Great Combination" signage to Lakeside.
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) May 16, 2014

Then the game started, but not before the farce that is the pre-match huddle

The pre-match huddle - is there anything more pointless? Weren't you all just in the rooms getting instructions and fired up 5 minutes ago?
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 16, 2014

The first half was completely frantic, but with almost nothing of note happening except for a late Port goal and Kamal Ibrahim sooking about the refereeing. The second half was just as frantic, but more interesting, as both sides started creating actual chances, most of which they stuffed up. Hume pulled one back from a free kick that was headed in, and then followed that up with a short corner. As I observed that night:

You've scored a headed goal from a set piece, the opposition keeper looks dicey in the air - why would you play the corner short? #nplvic
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 16, 2014

Port missed some one on ones, and Hume missed a volleyed shot from close range after the Port keeper had made a save. Bentleigh coach and South Melbourne Hellas legend Johnny A laughed at it, knowing that he would have scored that. The match finished 1-1, I watched the match alone, and the 11:00 train to Werribee from Flinders Street got cancelled due to 'operational requirements', an example of management jargon so vague that it could mean just about anything.

But in a victory for people power or the invisible hand of the market - choose your preferred ideological paradigm - the chocolate bars at Port's canteen are now $3, down from their original $4. I bought a Cherry Ripe in celebration, and probably also because I'm reading a book about Macpherson Robertson, the inventor of the Cherry Ripe.

How the other half live
It's not often I find reason to head out to watch soccer in the south-eastern half of the state league divide, and yet on Saturday I was faced with two choices to indulge myself on that front - head to Clifton Hill vs Noble Park, or Malvern City vs Langwarrin (happy 50th anniversary by the way). Well, my heart had been set on the latter, and despite some momentary dithering I ended up in Kooyong, at an open park located between a footy ground, a baseball diamond and a freeway.

Why Malvern? Because there were several ex-South under 21s players playing for the seniors there, coached by former South 21s and 18s coach Gus Caminos. I tried to stay low key, but was eventually spotted by a couple of people, though at least I got a free souvlaki out of it and those people seemed enthusiastic to see me, which while enjoyable is always a little bit unnerving.

The crowd wasn't massive, but there were some noticeable differences compared to my north-west experiences:

• The average age of the supporters was about ten years younger in the south-east compared to north-west.
• There was more club merchandise being worn in the south-east.
• You're unlikely to see someone wearing this shirt in the north-west.
• In the north-west you're also unlikely to see (for the time being at least) someone turn up in a Scotch College (or similar) soccer kit
• The north-west still makes better souvs, even if what they're making is actually a gyros instead of the diced meat on a stick business.

Somehow, despite dominating the early proceedings, Langy found themselves 3-0 down before a little bit of a gift of a penalty just before halftime saw them pull one back. Malvern however managed to slot away another three goals in the second half to win in 6-1, done by sitting deep, countering effectively and defending well enough when called upon to do so.

Much debate was had about the future of South and the social club, the future of Australian soccer and the future of Australian soccer players. What happens to players who don't make it through the NPL junior ranks and become senior players? It's OK to say to some of them, take a step down a couple of leagues and play senior soccer but:

1. They may not get that opportunity if older players are pushed down due to the NPL points system.
2. Who's going to actually get down there and watch them? 

On point no. 2, I remember being heckled (in a semi good natured way) when I asked this sort of question at a South AGM, about why I never see South movers and shakers at VPL or state league games. Because if the only people who end up watching lower level senior soccer are club committee members, the occasional parent and the reserves players who haven't inexplicably left after their match has finished (and other dateless wonders), does that mean players are finished if they're not famous by 18?

Is Nunawading City's Great Leap Forward/Cultural Revolution style effort to build up a production line of soccer playing robots the only way forward? Is South attempting to mimic that (probably badly)? What happens to those clubs and players that get left behind? In the future, will anyone actually play the game above State League 1.5 because they like the game, and not because it's some sort of career path? Why are Glen Waverley line trains so much cleaner than corresponding lines going to dodgy suburbs?

Well, I at least got to talk about my thesis with someone who seemed genuinely interested in what I was doing. In this humanities student bashing culture, that was a pleasant experience.

Final thought
FA Cup final at 2:00AM? That's way past my bedtime.

Kiss of Death back for another season - Round 1, 2014

NPL: National Pathetic Leagues.

Am I a fan of them you ask? Well what sort of fucked up question is that? Can't you tell by the title? Joke of the highest order. If the FFA was a comedian, people would pay money to have a laugh. These people have lost the fucken plot. Who thinks up this shit. Like really, hello, there was nothing wrong with the original system, which has been working around the world since Jesus was a full back for the Jericho Jackhammers.

The Kiss of Death casts an eye over the competition.

Some douche has come along tax payer funded and all, and said this is how you will improve football in this country. Like fuck off already you Dutch cunts. You clowns have never been successful and have always flopped at international level. To give you an idea of how stupid this thing is, you will now read my season review of the Victorian NPL. Fuck my life. Like I don't have better things to do with my time than research clubs in the lower leagues who have bought themselves a golden ticket into the big time. Willy Wonka-ish and all.

NPL Victoria will consist of 14 teams this season, 12 who have earned their way through promotion, and two who have bought their way in. Those two being Goulburn Valley Suns and the other, Ballarat Red Devils. The Suns are located in Shepparton. Played as part of their local league. Weak as piss of a league. Good for the farmers up there to give their fruit pickers some entertainment. That's about all I know.

The Red Devils for the last four or so years have been stuck in State 2 North West. Used to be a great team, games shown on the local WIN 9 station up there, used to get big crowds. Slowly dwindled towards the end, and last year they were just absolutely shit. So shit in fact that they went from a top three State 2 team to State 3! Crowds dwindled to barely anything, they stopped the coffee van coming, and they even took chips and gravy off the menu. That is where I lost all respect for them. Ballarat is however, hillbilly central. The rest of the teams are last years standard VPL with the addition of Werribee City who got promotion into this league. Fair enough. But still shit.

Heidelberg United vs South Melbourne
Which dickhead launches the season at 7:15pm on a Thursday night? No jokes, I'm being legit. Either way, expect a pathetic crowd of Bergers, a decent crowd of South fans, and a South win. Have seen neither team this year so far. South has recruited well, and the Bergers somewhat. I don’t care about the Bergers. Heidelberg 0 – South Melbourne 3.

Port Melbourne vs Dandy Thunder
Too early to tell how Dandy will go, but Port will struggle this season. Have lost plenty of players due to the capping of the squads. Not much coming through. Dandy hasn’t done too bad in the recruitment stakes, and from their 3-3 draw with Hume last week, they are looking pretty good. Port Melbourne 1 – Dandy Thunder 2.

Melbourne Knights vs Northcote City
Northcote has got Trent Rixon back after his holiday at South. Northcote suit him as only 20 or so people watch them, and always clap regardless of result. South was too much for Trent. The Knights will have a good shot at winning the thing this year. Expect sueprising and consistent results. Melbourne Knights 2 – Northcote City 1.

Bentleigh Greens vs Ballarat Red Devils
Bentleigh is another team who will suffer due to the points system. The limits of visa players will severely limit their chances of a good hit out. It will back to the Bentleigh of old that we all know. The Red Devils, ah the Devils. Who gives a flying fuck. Bentleigh Greens 3 – Ballarat Red Devils 0.

Goulburn Valley vs Oakleigh Cannons
This game will be a good yardstick for the rest of the league. If the Cannons go to Shepparton and lose, then the others need to worry. If they come back with a win, then we can all have a giggle at the FFV. Goulburn Valley 0 – Oakleigh Cannons 8.

Hume City vs Pasoce Vale
Hume ain't looking too good. I doubt they will ever look good this season. Will finish in the bottom half. Pascoe Vale will continue being a thorn in everyone's side. The team you love to hate. Hume City 0 – Pascoe Vale 2

Green Gully vs Werribee City
Green Gully to run out convincing winners. Green Gully 6 – Werribee City 0

Springvale White Eagles 0 South Melbourne 2 (and much, much more)

A pretty comfortable win, even though it took until midway through the second half for us to score. I can't get a handle on this team. We've played against mostly mug NPL1 sides. We've looked half arsed doing it, so I'm not sure if we have 2-3 extra gears in reserve when we need them. Every now and again we've pulled together a nice move, but what we're going to produce in the 2014 season proper, no idea. I've liked Minopoulos though, he has some nice poacher's instincts.

Tough times at Springvale White Eagles
The grass looked like crap. The players were wearing shirts with no numbers on the back. One of the reserve substitutes didn't have shin guards. The canteen ran out of chili flakes halfway through the reserves game. Lucky there was a backup bottle of Tabasco sauce for the cevapi roll, which was very good.

Also, their grandstand is a funny old thing. Strange benches, odd positioning of poles. Friendly folks though.

Next game
Dunno. Maybe we won't see our boys again in the open until round one. Well, at least that means the possibility of heading to a Dockerty Cup match on the weekend.

The mystery striker mystery...
... is not so mysterious any more, which is tough luck for the SMFC media team when they eventually get around to announcing it. The mystery striker is apparently this bloke. Lot of people excited about this bloke. There goes one visa spot.

We're getting very close to having to name our roster of 20 - no more, no less - for the upcoming season. So far off the top of my head, I'm thinking we have the following as a likely squad.

1. Jason Saldaris
2. Chris Maynard
3. Michael Eagar
4. Brad Norton
5. Tim Mala
6. "mystery centre back replacement for Shaun Kelly"
7. Tyson Holmes
8. Nick Epifano
9. Iqi Jawadi
10. Matthew Theodore
11. Leigh Minopoulos
12. Jamie Reed
13. Milos Lujic
14. Dimi Tsiaras
15. Seb Petrovich (well, he's still been playing trial matches even up to this point)
16. Kobbie Boaheme - likely young signing
17. Andrew Kecojevic - likely young signing
18. Empty slot that will need to be filled (Any Dandy or Northcote players leftover?)
19. Another empty slot that will need to be filled
20. The last empty slot that will need to be filled

You know who's weird?
These new fangled junior parents. I mean, I'm sure they've existed for a while now, but the NPL is going to bring them closer in proximity to me and you. And to be blunt, they're not like me and you. Sure they want the team their kid is playing in to win, but that seems to be a secondary concern a lot of the time, in part because the team their kid is playing for could be a different one to the one they played for last year, or will play for next year. They cheer differently. They talk differently. Can we get along? I don't know. Does that me sound too distrustful? I don't mean to be. It's just kinda weird to always feel like we're only borrowing them.

The ins and outs of social media 
Not that I was there, but FFV had a bit of a get together with the NPL clubs for a workshop session on Saturday - for those that bothered to turn up, which is most of them. Apart from some reportedly very delicious muffins (which were apparently wolfed down by one notoriously rotund Victorian soccer mover and shaker), the main thing that filtered down to me was talk about how the FFV was trying to teach the clubs about social media. Isn't social media just a platform for nobodies with no power to make their ineffectual voices heard, while people with real jobs and qualifications get on with the business of pretending to know what they're doing?

Anyway, even if using social media does turn out to be a completely pointless exercise, it must be said that most clubs can improve the way they use their social media platforms. Here are my tips:

• Update them very now and again - you know, scores, fixtures, news. This goes for your website as well. Yes, it's great that you won a game back in round 5, 2012, but we've all moved on from then.
• Try and aboid having them become a default supporters forum, like Heidelberg's is wont to do on occasion.
• Don't pretend they don't exist when things go tits up, like Surf Coast and their recent NPL induced implosion.

All those tips are of course very basic, and beholden to a more corporate notion of how these things should run. If you prefer a more anarchic system, you can disregard these suggestions, and let nature take its course. Also, FFV could also learn to be more effective with its social media platforms:

• They could get their Facebook match reporters to do more frequent updates during matches. Even if it's a boring game, I appreciate some more frequent updates telling me its a boring game - and which sides might be playing less boring.
• Set up a clear set of guidelines about what questions you will and won't answer on your social media platforms - if you won't answer them on there, provide clear directions as to who one should ask.
• Try to avoid being beaten to following me on Twitter by the Melbourne Renegades.

Good to hear that FFV got around to telling the clubs to use #NPLVIC instead of #NPLV as their twitter hashtag. Big issue I know, but it matters to me. We all want to be on the same page, right? Should start promoting the #DockertyCup hashtag as well, get people to update scores on that really quickly and easily.

The vibe from that workshop
Actually. mostly positive. It's going to be a steep learning curve for all concerned, and the short and crazy amount of time to get prepared for 2014 makes it harder for everyone. And apparently, whatever the outward commentary that things will be refined down to the FFA's NPL ideal, it may not end up happening that way - we're specifically talking about the reductions of the points cap here. So good luck to all the clubs trying to make this work, and good luck to Liam Bentley, the head of NPL Victoria.

Did you know I once escorted Liam off the field at Paisley Park, in my role as a marshal for an Altona East reserves game, for which he was the referee? Nothing untoward happened or anything, it's just part of the standard half time and full time drill for marshals to do that. Seemed like a good bloke, and it's always good to see FFV staff mixing it with the plebs, or even becoming one of them on a weekend. More of it, I say.

Bad Paul, naughty Paul
It appears that FFV CEO Mitchell Murphy was not happy with my most recent article in Goal Weekly, on the latest developments on the NPL Victoria saga, judging by his letter to the editor in the most recent edition. Looks like I have some bridges to build, fences to mend and a game to lift.

This is how you develop players
Recently, my home grown forward prodigy Brad Payne made his debut for the Oceanian National Team. He started off in my youth team, he played in the reserves outfits and is now a core member of Juniper Hill's senior squad. There's a lesson there for the NPL dreamers of dreams, even if Hattrick, Brad Payne and Juniper Hill aren't exactly real.

Let's see, what else?
They tell me that not one, but two of John Markosvki's sons are in the South junior system. Yes, that John Markovski. If true, then as someone once said, 'the times, they are becoming quite different'.

Just in case you missed the news

The official Twitter hashtag for NPL Victoria is #NPLVIC and not #NPLV. That goes for both NPL and NPL1. Glad we got that sorted out.

Also, I think we signed Jason Saldaris. Remember him? Tall, sexy motherfucker of a goalkeeper from Perth? Played in a cup game against Malvern during that season where Gavalas wasn't getting dropped due to (snip - legal department
)? Took one of the couches from the office home with him last time he was here, when we were cleaning out that space? Yeah him. He can kick the ball far. I like that.

Fuck, current no. 2 keeper Chris Maynard played in the same game for Malvern. If that's our recruiting strategy for 2014, we should sign Juan Nilo. We do need striking support for Lujic. Could do worse.

Latest NPL news - We're going to Bonnie Doon

Well, not quite.

Last week FFV released the list of successful NPL licence applicants. Now they've now released their proposed league structure. Having trouble keeping track of what's going on? Can't wait my upcoming long-winded article in Goal Weekly? Then here's the gist, from a South perspective.

• We're in the NPL, which is the top tier of this thing.
• So are the other eleven teams who would have been in the VPL in 2014, had it run.
• Add to that two regional teams, Ballarat Red Devils and Goulburn Valley Suns.
• The league starts in mid-March, ends in mid-September.
• Everyone plays each other twice.
• No finals, winner decided by first past the post.

Understood? See you all next time, when EVERYTHING WILL HAVE CHANGED. Well, maybe not.

And God said... I'll get back to you on Monday

Considering how fractured and unwieldy this post has become over the course of the day, it's worthwhile I think to begin with the clarity provided by CP Cavafy:

Our efforts are those of men prone to disaster;
our efforts are like those of the Trojans.
We just begin to get somewhere,
gain a little confidence,
grow almost bold and hopeful,

when something always comes up to stop us:
Achilles leaps out of the trench in front of us
and terrifies us with his violent shouting.

Our efforts are like those of the Trojans.
We think we’ll change our luck
by being resolute and daring,
so we move outside ready to fight.

But when the great crisis comes,
our boldness and resolution vanish;
our spirit falters, paralyzed,
and we scurry around the walls
trying to save ourselves by running away.

Yet we’re sure to fail. Up there,
high on the walls, the dirge has already begun.
They’re mourning the memory, the aura of our days.
Priam and Hecuba mourn for us bitterly.

CP Cavafy, Trojans, translated by Edmund Keeley/Philip Sherrard

Relax - can't you see how eerily calm it is?
So, it appears as if the lull in proceedings following last year's FFA intervention, and the subsequent dropping of the court proceedings by the Coalition of the Non-Willing, was truly just the eye of the storm.

As the silence surrounding the NPL extended into February - with the exception of a few recalcitrants who were either warning of the doom yet to come or calling the coalition figureheads and their clubs sell outs - the only certain thing was uncertainty.

Then, backed by a smattering of facts, the rumours started flowing in. The facts were that 37 entities had applied. Though not everyone showed their hand, they ranged from the usual VPL and previously already committed suspects to smaller and, on the face of it at least, more dubious entities.

Me, I'm not ashamed to admit that I scoffed when I saw Avondale Heights (among others) noting their intention to apply. That's not a slur on that club, because doubtless they've done good things there in recent times. But all the usual questions of grounds and money and everything else made it hard for me to take their fast-forwarded ambitions seriously.

And besides, even though the criteria is not as stringent as it was under the FFV's original plan, surely it would still be too high for most of the entities putting their name forward? And isn't that what the independent selection panel is there for? And surely the FFV would want to limit the amount of teams to make it a truly 'elite' competition? We'll come back to those points later.

There is nothing more to buy and no monthly fees of any kind. Call now, seats are limited!
And then yesterday, as the FFV starting informing teams of the success (or otherwise - there was no word from the latter) of their application ahead of today's major announcement, it seemed like nearly everyone who applied managed to get in.

Rather than the 'elite' league this was supposed to become - whatever 'elite' means to you, and whether you take that concept as it exists here even half seriously - the kinds and numbers of teams claiming that they are in is sending this process to even greater depths of incompetence.

Rather than a select group of fully funded, venue compliant organisations making the grade, the FFV has shown its process to be akin to a property investment seminar or, even worse, some sort of timeshare company peddling an exaggerated offer of a lifetime, and I'm starting to wonder, did most of the applicants only rock up because they thought they were getting a free lunch?

Intermission

The FFV website earlier today. Picture stolen from the Football Chaos twitter feed.

During the silence, speculation grew and mutated accordingly, ramping up in the last couple of days to fever pitch. These guys are in. These guys are out. These guys didn't bid. This is how it's going to be. Thirty clubs in one division where everyone plays each other once, like an apertura with no clausura. Two divisions split into south/east and north/west. No Melbourne Knights, but every other Croatian club worth its salt, in. Clubs turning on each other. Furious text messages coming through, including one where the FFV are portrayed as the limbless Black Knight from Monty Python's Quest For the Holy Grail, incapacitated but fighting on regardless.

And like the infamous Garcin, Inès and Estelle of No Exit, we followers of Victorian soccer surrendered to the panic of this Second Empire furniture filled hell, by torturing each other with manipulative remarks, while assuming that the real torture is yet to come. L'enfer c'est les autres and all that, and while I'm not saying Sartre doesn't make a good point, but his vision of hell is limited compared to the Tartarus we live in.

Anyway, as for me today, I talked about lunch (Lebanese pizza with shanklish and tomato), and pleaded with the FFV that if they hurried up, I wouldn't post something so hysterical (then reminds himself that lying makes baby Jesus cry). I also picked up a smattering of new Twitter follows, which is nice. Welcome aboard fellow travellers. Even the Federation Starship USS Voyager had more of an idea of where it was and where it was going.

What we've actually ended up with - for now
Well, after waiting all day, the FFV managed to sneak in their NPL announcement a minute earlier than their usual time. So, let's be grateful they got it in at 4:58 instead of 4:59. I think they can cancel that efficiency review now.

However because of internal and behind the scenes wrangling - which we can't go into too much detail about, seeing a lot of it is very speculative, but it apparently involves even more FFA headkicking - today's announcement is at best, half an announcement of what's happening this season.

So what's the actual deal? Well, as mentioned earlier, we did have several clubs yesterday trumpeting the fact that they were in, and a huge amount of rumour and innuendo.

The FFV has, at the close of business today, announced those teams who will be granted NPL licences if they wish to take up that offer, without announcing a league strcuture.

How they quite go about creating a league structure - to be announced next week - when they still won't know for sure whether everyone who has been offered a licence will take it up until a fortnight's time, nor whether the constituents of most of these clubs have approved their clubs ambitions, is anyone's guess. We won't even see the fixtures for three more weeks,a dn the actual NPL rules for more four weeks.

The FFV"s media release is below. We're in, if that's all that matters to you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Media Release

Friday 7 February 2014

FFV ANNOUNCES NPL LICENCES FOR 2014

Football Federation Victoria (FFV) today announces that 30 National Premier Leagues (NPL) licences will be offered to the following clubs/entities commencing this season:

• Avondale Heights
• Ballarat Red Devils
• Bendigo Amateur Soccer League
• Bentleigh Greens
• Box Hill United
• Brunswick City
• Dandenong City
• Dandenong Thunder
• Eastern Lions
• FC Bulleen Lions
• Goulburn Valley Suns
• Green Gully Cavaliers
• Heidelberg United
• Hume City
• Kingston City
• Melbourne Knights
• Moreland Zebras
• North Geelong Warriors
• Northcote City
• Oakleigh Cannons
• Pascoe Vale
• Port Melbourne Sharks
• Richmond
• South Melbourne
• Springvale White Eagles
• St Albans Saints
• Sunshine George Cross
• Surf Coast
• Werribee City
• Whittlesea Ranges

All of these clubs/entities will be required to confirm their participation by returning a signed licence agreement to FFV by 5pm on Wednesday 19 February.

In addition to the licences listed above that will be offered, FFV will offer a licence to Eastern Jets and Border FC to start in the 2015 season.

“FFV recognises the tremendous level of effort and resources required to produce an NPL submission,” FFV President Nick Monteleone said.

“All applicants should be congratulated for their dedication in submitting an application. I would like to also thank the Assessment Panel for its hard work reviewing all 37 applications.

“The NPL will have a positive impact on players, coaches and club development across all of Victoria.”

The competition structure of the NPL will be announced next week, with fixtures to be released on Wednesday 26 February and NPL Rules of Competition on Tuesday 4 March.

FFV has appointed Liam Bentley, its former Competitions Manager, as the Head of NPL Victoria.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So where to now?
Well, we're still waiting. How an organisation like this keeps surviving, I'm not sure. Every time they make it to the end of a week they must be doing cartwheels. They're the best argument for legalising euthanasia Kevorkian could have asked for.

This isn't only an issue for prospective NPL teams. Every club in the FFV system has no idea - in early February - about what league they will be in, and who they'll be playing. How are teams supposed to recruit? How are they supposed to conduct proper trials for juniors? How can they set up a proper budget for the coming year?

And how will the FFV, an organisation which has enough issues managing the leagues in an ordinary year, manage to get all its fixturing and registrations done by the time the leagues would nominally start in late March? Or when the Dockerty Cup is supposed to start perhaps in mid-March, which is now just five weeks away.

Then there is the other issue - compliance. While I have perhaps unfairly singled out one club from those above, each of my readers, by themselves, without even being aware of the NPLV criteria in any meaningful depth, would be able to point to several of them and make strong cases as to why they wouldn't, shouldn't even get close to making the grade.

But the FFV has said that if they can catch up to wherever the criteria says they need to be next year, they can stay. How about, no. How about they actually get there first, and then apply? Will the FFV actually have the guts to throw clubs out that have promised to get up the necessary standards, but then failed to do so? Especially if they were clubs who have supporting the FFV no matter what crazy scheme they put forward?

And what happened to the concept of an elite system? Instead of restricting it to 24 teams - remember that the NSW NPL limits it to that, and their player catchment easily outstrips ours, let alone taking into account finances and venues - 30 teams, with the prospect of even more teams joining up next year - remembering that new metro entities (such as Eastern Jets) can only join from 2015 - and soon there'll be more elite teams than community clubs.

History lesson
Whether they split the divisions into north/west and south/east divisions, or pile 30 odd teams into the one competition, either way it will be an on field disaster. The people nominally in charge of this competition should look to the 1947 Victorian Division One season to see the kind of disaster that awaits them and all of us - unless we take into consideration two possibilities.

Firstly, that the FFV and the people it has hired to make these decisions have bought into the trendy 'results don't matter' (except when we win) mantra so completely that they honestly couldn't conceive of this as a problem.

Or secondly, that having become filled with an overdose of poisonous rage due to their humiliating backdown at the end of 2013, they've decided to hijack the whole process before driving it into the nearest chasm, taking us all with them.

Third to last thought
So, to paraphrase Tony Martin's depressing BBC correspondent guy, as the constituents of soccer in Victoria awaken to the devastation caused by this disaster, they begin the slow process of rebuilding under a nightmarish regime of terror.

Second to last thought
Well, at least they're calling the cup competition the Dockerty Cup again. I'll happily take most of the credit for that, but thanks to everyone who chipped in at some point. As Mark Boric noted however, time to get the Armstrong Cup up and going now.

Final thought
If you pitched this whole NPL saga to Oliver Stone, even he'd tell you that it was too far-fetched and implausible. Through the looking glass? We crossed that threshold years ago.

Co-Sig clubs get their way it seems

While much of the detail remains to be sorted out and disseminated to the general public, it appears on the face of it that Sheriff FFA has ridden into town and sorted out the black hats in the FFV.

All I can make out so far is the suggestion that the re-branding of VPL and state league 1 into NPL 1 and 2 will take place, with the current clubs as is, no zones, and the addition of some regional teams.

Amid the celebrations however, I am reminded of the old Chris Rock bit, where he talks about the African-American response to the OJ Simpson verdict:

We won! We won! We won! What the fuck did we win?

Wait and see, as per usual. The true result will not be felt in the first year, but in the third year, and the fifth year, and the tenth year, and so on.

Still, it's nice to be able to avoid the Supreme Court action, mind. That stuff is expensive.

AGM 2013 - South still with one arm tied behind its back - but putting up a good fight

As usual, I'm conflicted about how much I should spill into a public forum about matters which the general South member would prefer remain in house. Of course, I have my principles about openness, but the process must also be respected. Then again, people will blab anyway.

Membership includes an entitlement to attend AGMs, an entitlement of course denied to non-members. Non-attendance of members complicates the issue - either people had more pressing issues to attend to, or just couldn't be stuffed coming. How do you cater to both? So once again, here are some general thoughts on what happened at yesterday's AGM.

It was good to see, for the first time in several years, a proper membership list and security presence at the door. Unlike previous year, this AGM was not hampered by the board trying to rush through the different points. Indeed, this meeting went to the other extreme, lasting for four hours, with a small break somewhere in there. 90 minutes was spent on the financial statements alone.

It was an exhausting process, but for the most part unavoidable, since there were so many crucial issues to discuss. However, going over old issues, such as the signing of the MOU (which happened four years ago) and the Toumbourou affair (which was settled last year) didn't help matters. Still, this is what the day is for.

A motion was put up by former board member George Kapnias, that in future years the annual financial statements would be mailed out along with the notice of an AGM. The reasons given were that it's not like they're not available from the ASIC website anyway, and that unlike the Melbourne Knights AGM, papers aren't collected at the end of a meeting. The motion was carried.

The lease situation remains much as it was, though I fancy things are likely to come to a head sooner rather than later. If we took the government's offer of a 21 year lease, we could sign tomorrow. But we agreed four years ago to 40 years, and the general consensus around the place is that we have a right to the 40 years as stipulated by the MOU. The intention is to fight for that part of the agreement, and rightly so.

There was an NPL Victoria update, presenting the picture and the possibilities which may unfold depending on several different outcomes happening. This week will be fairly important, with the co-signatory clubs meeting again this week, a further response by the FFA, and a court date of sorts next week.

The board explained the kind of workload they're dealing with, and the way they've split up the different projects among themselves. The double whammy of the NPL and lease issues has meant that resolving the women's team issue, or working on reform of our constitution, has basically been impossible.

With regards to players staying and players going, the big news is that apparently Fernando De Moraes has finally called time on his outdoor career - though I would like to see an official announcement of that before we get all justifiably misty eyed. Nothing beyond that was divulged, though we have apparently signed a couple of players.

There was discussion of the youth program and its alterations with regards to costs and coaching. Mistakes were admitted. Integration of the under 16s and up with vocational qualifications is a welcome development.

Lastly, George Malamas joined the committee. Over the years, Malamas has been one of the more vocal people at AGMs. I often disagree with his positions, but never doubt his passion for South. It will be interesting to see what impact he will have on the committee.

The mood overall was passionate and generally positive, especially with respect to the effort the board members put in, as well as for many of the decisions that they have made over the course of the year. A variety of people asked questions, to the point where afterwards I was told that I wasn't as vocal as in previous years.

One Last Thing 
This was from after the meeting. Looks like the Hellenic Cup will once again not go ahead. Or at least, that seemed to be the chat going around, as little to nothing has been heard about it. There are apparently offers from interstate to go and play a game or two during the pre-season. We'll see how that develops.

2013 AGM on this coming Sunday

If you haven't heard the news - and that's entirely possible, as apparently not everyone received notice of this week's event - South's AGM is on this Sunday. Every AGM is important, but this one is going to be hard to top for the breadth and complexity of issues that are facing the club at the moment. Indeed, there are issues which normally would take centre stage quite easily in any given year, but which this year will take a back seat to the most pressing issue of them all, the status of the lease agreement.

This is, first of all, an election year. It is the first election year since the club, partly due to the FFV enforced constitutional changes, and partly due to its own maneuvering, has opened the suffrage up to so many people. After we had been promised that the social club wing of the club - the part that controls all the other parts - would remain solely at the mercy of social club members, it appears as if everyone who is a member of the club, including mere season ticket holders of South Melbourne FC, will be able to have their say.

There are always rumblings about people perhaps challenging this committee, which in one form or another has been the only committee to run for office since the end of the NSL. But each time an election comes around, no one else puts their hand up. Whatever my thoughts are on this current committee - and they are admittedly generally favourable from my end - it has always been my contention that the failure of rival tickets to emerge is a damaging prospect for the club long term.

Firstly, the lack of a rival ticket indicates that on the surface at least, there are few other qualified groups looking to take over this club. That may or may not be true, but it's not a good look. Secondly, the lack of a rival ticket gives a certain carte blanche to the current committee. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, even if a hypothetical rival ticket's proposed policies and agendas are backward, conservative, unfeasible, or (Zeus forbid) couched in the rhetoric of 'need more Greeks', at least it would provide a contrast to the agenda of the current committee.

The Lease/The Social Club/Exclusivity
The big item of course is the lease. Four years on from signing the Memorandum of Understanding, two years since we moved back into Lakeside, and we still haven't locked everything away for keeps. Still no social club, no 40 year lease, no football exclusivity, at least in practice. After being promised back in January 2013 that a deal was close, then again in July 2013 that we were a couple of months away from sealing the deal, here we are still waiting.

This is not meant to be an attack on the committee, because I'm sure they're hurting as much, if not more than us, being at the coalface of the matter on a daily basis. In the July meeting, the situation was explained quite clearly, that there were four agreements, and that they all needed to be signed simultaneously. The issue has become messier now, because the State Sports Centre Trust is clearly disrespecting the arrangement that we are supposed to have.

The lack of a social club is one thing. The Trust allegedly going behind our backs and letting A-League franchises use the venue without our permission is quite another. Unlike some South fans, I'm not averse to letting the A-League use the venue for women's and youth games. Apart from the direct income we'd get from their hiring, when the social was supposed to be up and going, there'd be another source of income coming in on a non-South match day. That, and if we didn't let them use the ground, some other club would make the most of the opportunity to make some money. And it's not like we haven't had those teams use the venue in the past.

But it has to be on our terms. If this is a big game of chicken that the Trust is playing to see if we'll blink and take them to court to sort out these matters once and for all, then I hope that we do. If the club is confident in its case, then they should go for it - of course how many legal cases can we take on at once is an issue we must also consider. If Athletics Victoria is also being treated poorly, we should seek to find a way to work with them to take on the Trust. If the Trust is also not treating its other tenants with respect - remembering that it also controls venues such as the State Netball and Hockey Centre - then we should endeavour to work with those groups as well.

There were four or so big ticket items within the lease. The guaranteed income, the football exclusivity, the social club and the 40 year lease. This is what was offered to the club by the government. This is what the club and its members agreed to. This is the least what we expect out of the situation. After finally securing that deal, then we have to work on making Lakeside feel like our home ground. The social club will be a big part of that - but externally, there must also be signs that we belong there, that it is our turf. And again, there should be ways of working with Athletics Victoria so they can make the venue feel like their home as well.

For the record, my mail is that the final sticking point is the lease. Everything else is apparently ready to go, but as we are no doubt aware, leases on Crown land are set at a 21 year limit - thus this government or the Trust trying to weasel their way out of the deal. There has already been pressure put on Hugh Delahunty, the Minister for Sport, and Matthew Guy, the Minister for Planning, by a range of organisations. Whether the situation has deteriorated since then, I guess we'll find out this week.

NPL Victoria
Lest we forget that we are still in the middle of this process. After supposedly being 'in the tent' with the FFV, then out of the tent and now leading the charge against them, it'd be nice to have further clarification on what's going on. Is the 60 odd club co-signatory group going to be happy if the scenario eventuates where South and a handful of other clubs, happy with what they've managed to wrangle out of the NPL deal, break away? What will be the consequences and costs of going to the Supreme Court? Are (us and the rest of the co-signatory group) going to follow through with the threats of not handing over affiliation fees to the FFV? And can we get a stright answer on what's going on with the supposed dealing with the FFA?

Juniors shakeup
Underneath the big ticket items, there have been significant changes to the way the junior wing of the club will operate. After reforming the junior wing, seemingly getting rid of the influence of the old Caulfield mob (unless I'm reading that completely wrong) and attempting to prepare for a tilt at the NPL as the FFV was going to run it, we've now changed things a fair bit. Coaches have gone. The lower level age groups will have more teams added, costs to players will be reduced, and the higher age groups won't have to pay a cent. There would be some who, not without reason, will see this as a cynical ploy of getting money from younger players to fund the higher age groups - unless of course these younger players are given priority over potential imports from other clubs...

Ephemera
Then there's other issues which need to be clarified. The team of course. What news there? What's going on with our A-League ambitions, if they still exist? Have we given up the ghost on ever reconciling with the women's team? Is it coincidental that their most successful period on field at least has come after they've officially split from us? And what the hell happened with this?

What I'm hoping for this week

• Proper meeting attendance/roll call taken. If you're not a member, you shouldn't be allowed in.
• Good questions from a variety of people.
  
• No putting down of new members, just because they're new.
• From new members, respect for the emotional attachment for the club held by the long term supporters.
• No shutting down of sensible debates. We need enough time to discuss the matters concerning our club. Yes, people get tired at these things, and yes, the debates can often drag on, but winding things up quickly for no good reason does no one any good.
• No disregarding the concerns of our supporters with a 'she'll be right' attitude.
• Respect for other members, even if you disagree with their point of view.
• People coming up with solutions, as opposed to just complaints. I know I don't have the best track record on this front - but there must be something that we as members can do to help. The committee does a lot of the day to day work, it's true. But the committee alone are not the club - the members as a whole are the club. Isn't this what we keep bragging about as the difference between ourselves and the franchises?

See everyone there.

No NPL Victoria in 2014

In a classic case of be careful what you wish for - remember how I got fed up with all the NPL Victoria talk, and just wanted five minutes of space so I could discuss our finals campaign? - well, that turned into a solid few weeks of eerie silence post-season, unnerving everyone with its lack of detail and information.

A week or two back, the FFV, FFA and the co-signatory clubs had a marathon 10 hour meeting, as a part of a last ditch effort to avoid the pending Supreme Court action. The FFV tried to claim the moral high ground on the matter, claiming that it was more or less their idea, but I doubt anyone bought that line.

The usual leaks and rumour mongering didn't happen, adding further tension to the situation, and perhaps led to the situation were people were predicting a break in the unity of the co-signatory clubs, and then suggesting all sorts of comprises had been made to get the new format up and going in 2014.

Well, the FFV came out today and settled at least one matter, announcing that there would be no NPL Victoria in 2014, with the leagues to run as per the usual model. So first off, welcome back Heidelberg to the VPL after an absence of one season, and also to Werribee City for the first time since 1995. Secondly, 'the we're stuck in the fucking VPL' chant lives on for another year, which is great.

But all jokes aside, the FFV have again tried to claim the moral high ground, painting the co-signatory clubs as recalcitrant. Its timing could have not been more devious. Releasing your press release at 5:00PM on a Friday? The old 3RRR show The Spin (which focused on media and PR trickery) had a name for that - the five o'clock dump.

Already we had the situation where one of the key co-signatory representatives, Box Hill United's Nicholas Tsiaras, was excluded from the discussions by the FFV. Now the talk is that the FFV had more or less agreed to a compromise solution with the FFA and the co-signatory clubs, but later reneged on that deal. It seems like the concept of good faith has gone completely out the window.

So are we headed to the courts now? Who's going to foot the bills? Who has the staying power? Will the FFA finally come down like a tonne of bricks onto one of the two sides? One mess cleaned up, temporarily. A whole new can of worms about to get started.

Preliminary Final Preview - Northcote City vs South Melbourne

Wouldn't it be nice if we could make the grand final? It won't be easy, of course. But in addition to the chance to win the whole damn thing, there's also the carrot of playing at the Melbourne Rectangular Stadium, which is a very lovely venue to watch a game from, and for crying out loud, isn't it about time South played a game there in front of everyone so we could all have a legitimate excuse of going to that venue?

Anyway, at best I can only pretend to know what I'm doing when I start waffling on with regards to tactics and such. As it is, the first two of our games against Northcote in 2013 have been made irrelevant by the fact that the South team that rocked up for those games no longer exists. So what can we take out of the most recent game, played just a few short weeks ago?

Well, that we can match them, and even dominate the fixture. That we'll have to be really careful with our offside trap. That we're going to have to lift our game somewhat, as the tight confines of Port Melbourne don't really suit us, though they may make it easier to defend our wings which have been a problem for a while now. The tighter confines will also hopefully mean that Bryan Bran doesn't get found out of position as much as he was last week. As terrific as he was with his intercepting play against the Knights, watching the various videos posted also showed that because he was prone to heading up field to make those interceptions, there was a lot of space behind him after the fact - meaning that it's not much good him doing all that work if we don't win the second ball as well, or turn it over straight away, before we can reset the defence.

I'm also not expecting Northcote to put in the kind of performance that they did against Bentleigh last week. Frankly, both teams were garbage, but we know that both are capable of much better performances. And as poor as their performance was, Northcote, perhaps uncharacteristically had more possession than their opponents - for the most part, they just couldn't make anything of it count. But both these teams will probably know each other inside out by now. If I had to pick a weakness for our opponents, my uneducated guess would be the defence. Get enough half decent balls into the six yard box, and they won't handle it too good.

As much we'd like to claim the underdog status, and the fact that we've come a long way in a very short space of time, there will be no moral victories after this game. Lose, and there'll be all the usual recriminations about what could have been done better etc, and the usual haha you lost jibes. That's to be expected. If we win, there'll be the mandatory Northcote were the real best team this season, South just bought their way to a grand final, yadayadayada. All of which should concern not one jot. Our job is to win for South's sake, and not worry about what the others may think of such a victory - and that includes the quite stupid discussions revolving around what we should do at the A-League after the VPL grand final if we make it.

Surely if we made it that far, after the game we'd be too busy commiserating a loss or celebrating a win? It just goes to show how small South has become in the view of some of our own fans, which is a pity. Time was we used to be the centre of the universe. While I can understand how and why people might react that way, it's all a bit sad. The situation was made funnier though, when someone explained that we'll all be kicked out of the game anyway before the Heart game starts.

Looking ahead with as little hubris as possible, there's also another issue. The boys from SMFC Radio claim that Bryan Bran, Tyson Holmes and Trent Rixon are all at risk of missing the grand final (should we make it that far) if any of those three players gets a yellow card against Northcote.

Reports suggest that the outer wing at Port Melbourne will be opened up, which is good news for everyone, except probably Clarendon Corner, who will probably do what they usually do anyway and pick the absolutely worst spot on the ground. Their call I guess, and weren't they meant to be dead anyway? One suggestion I will make is bring an umbrella, because if the weathermen and/or weatherwomen are right, then it could rain on Sunday, and there's very limited cover at Port Melbourne - and if it's windy, you probably don't want to be stuck behind the Plummer Street goals either, just in case a random branch falls off one of the trees and cracks your skull. Seen it happen there once.

For Those Planning On Driving To The Ground
At such a small ground, with what's expected to be a half decent crowd, parking will be a bit of hassle. In addition, due to the Melbourne Marathon, there will be several road closures, which may affect your journey. For more details, see this link.

Or, you know, you could catch the bus to the ground.

Something To Do With The NPL
It appears as if the clubs had a bit of a win in the courts on Monday, getting their case moved to the Supreme Court and also having their injunction against the FFV continuing the NPL upheld. I may or may not have something in this week's edition of Goal Weekly on the matter. Probably out of date already.

You Know It's Getting Serious...
... when even your students are asking about how your team is going.

Kiss of Death, Under Duress - Knights vs South Preview

Off to Knights Stadium we go!

I have been requested to write something about this Friday's match. Not sure if any of you have noticed, but ever since I stopped writing, South has gone on a roll. If we lose on Friday, direct all mail/complaints to Paul. I write the below under duress.

After playing cat and mouse with Green Gully last weekend, Hellas was rewarded with a 1-0 win in the 90th minute courtesy of Tyson Holmes. HNK Melbourne Croatia on the other hand was drilled a new asshole by the Bentleigh Greens, in a 2-4 demolition. My sources tell me it could’ve/should’ve been more.

A brief version of events that unfolded on Sunday vs Gully. Firstly, pretty much every single Gully ‘ultra’ entered Lakeside with an FFV finals pass. This means that:

• a) they only have 20 or so fans, or
• b) they were passing them through the gates. I saw 'b' with my own eyes.

Secondly, they have to be the tightest ‘ultras’ going around. I counted four bags full of food and beverages coming through the gates. Absolutely tight, tight, tight. Thank fuck you are out of the finals. (for the back ground to this phenomenon, see this entry from August 2009 - Ed.)

Thirdly, Bradley Norton. *shakes head*. Woeful. You had about nine minutes on Sunday, and even that was too much. I expect you will warm the bench also on Sunday, and for fuck's sake, no more penalties for you my friend.

Fourthly, the goal was the cause of absolute pandemonium at Lakeside. Haven’t seen it like that since we won the grand final in 2006. Absolutely awol. Crazy shit.

Fifthly, there were many new heads at South. For those of you unaware of how the Greek community works, here is a short rundown. Pretty much they only support shit when it suits. A disgrace of the highest order. Blasphemous to say the least.

So off we trod to Knights Stadium on Friday night at 7.30pm. I like to call the place by what it should be called “Hrvatski Sportski Centar – HNK Melbourne Croatia”. They have the Croatian soccer tournament on this week as well, which means plenty of Croatians at the match hopefully. This match is worthy of an NSL atmosphere. Nothing beats the “Croatsia, Croatsia, Croatsia” chant on a Friday night. The bars should be stocked up with some pivo, the cevapi and raznjici should leave a waft in the air, the gulash and mixed grill should bring people to the social club, and the eye candy should be of export grade quality! (ooohhh yeahhhhh).

The Knights have been exceptional in their home and away games, but Bentleigh caned them last weekend. I sms’d a mate of mine down at the Knights and once again told him “the fish rots at the head, Marth's gotta go”. He replied with “LOL”.

Anyhoo, we are the form team of the finals series. Yes, Croatia should fear Hellas on Friday. HNK Melbourne Croatia 0 – South Melbourne Hellas 3.

I dunno what else to write. Looking forward to Friday night something vicious. Haven’t slept for days. Getting my tifo ready. Pfft, tifo. Thinking deck myself in South colors or go ‘casual’. Car pool, or park car in dark street nearby (public transport is non-existent)? Eat before I go, or eat there? Sit in grandstand or on the ‘Hellas’ wing? These are some of the dilemmas I have for Friday night. I’m hoping some of you can help me out.

Back To Paul With The Latest NPL Victoria Guff
Well. Today the judge presiding over the case of whether to grant the Anti-NPL group's injunction has been delayed until Monday, when the motion to love the case to the Supreme Court will also be made. In it's own way, that's a pretty common sense attitude to take.

While that all seems very straightforward, sadly I was unable to make it out to the courts today, so I'm in no position to be able to verify the very explosive claims being made around the Victorian soccer internet community, first put out by the people from the Locker Room on their Facebook page:

BREAKING NEWS THIS AFTERNOON (Wed 2/10/13):

Court update (with thanks to Tom Kalas):

The FFV has stated to the court today that it (the FFV) is "prepared to see the dissolution of all the traditional clubs" and is "in favour of zonal Consortia"

However, Donald Sutherland of MFootball, who was at the court proceedings, has hotly contested this version of events, claiming that no such comment was made. Neither is there any mention of it in his article on the day's proceedings, which also talks about the possibility of NPL Victoria being delayed until the 2015 season.

On the flipside, Nicholas Tsiaras, one of the spearheads of the Anti-NPL group, has backed up the comment attributed to Tom Kalas (while also acknowledging he was not in court today).

From the Court - FFV understands & is prepared to see the dissolution of all traditional clubs. Is in favour of Zonal Consurtiums #NPLV
— Nicholas Tsiaras (@nicholastsiaras) October 2, 2013

For its part, the FFV has put out its own statement discussing the status of the court proceedings and its announcement of the successful bidders - but it has made no comment on this claim.

Someone here is clearly not telling the truth. Either the FFV did say these things in court, or they did not. If they did, and MFootball did not report it, then that is incredibly negligent and unprofessional from their part.

If these comments were not made in court, then someone from the Anti-FFV group may have started something they wished they hadn't - and while it may please their own rusted on supporters, it may not play out well in the wider Victorian football community, who already have reservations about some of the conduct of the Anti-FFV group, as well as their motives.

By that stage the mud may have well stuck anyway - as these comments were also rumoured to have been made during the mediation process. It's a game of life and death between the two sides, and the notion that the ends justifies the means is well and truly alive.

I've seldom had the ethical stomach for that approach. All I can do is urge caution and restraint, even though that bird has flown.

Grand Final Venue and Time
While we're not quite there yet, the FFV have set the date and time for the final. As with last year, it will be part of a double header with a Melbourne Heart game, on October 19.

Unlike last year's final however, this time the game will be played as the curtain raiser to the A-League match. And here's where it gets absurd - the game will start at 1:00PM.

Who the hell starts their grand final at that time? Do the FFV have such little regard for the competition that they're willing to make it play second fiddle to another event? If we're going to have this absurd nonsense of trying to boost the Heart's crowds, can we at least put the VPL final on where it should be - as the main event?

Not that it effects me this year, but I wonder what kind of restrictions they'll have on media this time. Last time all media pass holders had to apply for limited tickets and space in the media box. Those who didn't gain accreditation were denied access to the event, and had to pay at the gate - even though most VPL media personnel are well capable of doing their match reports from out on hills and terraces of the VPL.