More Spanos/Learning Greek Is Fun/Fixtures! Wait, Fixtures?

James Spanos Wins Under 21s Best and Fairest
I don't know why we're surprised anymore - James Spanos does it again, winning the under 21s best and fairest. The man is incredible, especially since he goes almost completely unnoticed by this blog and even most other pundits. Maybe it's time we truly admitted that our infatuation with one particular under 21s player this season has clouded our judgement to the detriment of our reporting.

So well done to Spanos, and well to the South Melbourne Super Duper Academy Revolution 3000, for not needing to actually have a proper voting system for finding out who the best 21s player was this season, and just going for Spanos. Excelsior!

Pateraki and Rombotis, Behind the Bike Sheds After School
Congratulations to all my non-Greek readers, you're about to get an off-season lesson in this beautiful language.

• Τζαμπατζήδες, tzambatzithes - freeloaders or cheapskates is a good start, but this Greek phrase its own certain je ne sais quoi.
• ψευτες, pseftes - liars
• Kύριος Kεραυνος, Kyrios Keravnos - Lord (or Mister) Thunder
• παπαγαλοι, papagali - parrots
• Βραζιλία, Vrazilia - Brazil 
• σπορια, sporia - seeds

If you missed the 3XY sports program, well hooley dooley, did you miss some fireworks. Host Kostas Paterakis was mad. Really mad. It seems as if Stathis Rombotis said so0me really nasty things about Pateraki and 3XY, because Pateraki was breathing fire.

Now, I haven't read the original article that seems to fired Paterakis up so much, but for the next hour or so, he laid into Rombotis. For once South wasn't copping the brunt, or indeed any flak in their coverage. This was personal.

It started off with παπαγαλοι and σπορια, and got more hilarious from there. Judging by Paterakis' tirade, Rombotis (whom Paterakis kept calling Kύριος Kεραυνος) seems to have made the allegation that the whole 3XY (and perhaps by inference, Greek-Australian sports journalist fraternity) are Τζαμπατζήδες. Well, Kostas didn't take kindly to that, nor the allegation that he and his colleagues were ψευτες.

During elaboration of the matter, we somehow ended up in Βραζιλία, and the 2000 World Club Championships and who paid for who to get over there. Then we moved into the 2004 efforts to save the club, from which Paterakis claimed that Rombotis was absent.

Then Paterakis, absolutely fuming at this point, basically called Rombotis out, daring him to call, as long as he kept his call to five minutes, because they didn't want it to drag on for an hour. If Rombotis did call, he didn't make it to the air.

Some other highlights:

• The thunder sound affects they played at one stage
• Playing, I'm pretty sure it was this παπαγαλο song. I nearly died.
• Once again confirming why they have no time to cover anything on their show, by talking about this issue for about 50 minutes (and let's not forget the 20 minute chat with Kevin Muscat - I switched it off for that discussion).
• Mind you, they had finished with the issue, then George Karandonis turned up and it kicked off again.
• The claim made by Paterakis that, if they wanted to, they had plenty of other ways of hurting South. 

What was great about this hour long tirade, is that apart from the times when they're wrestling with whose microphone is supposed to be on, and callers dropping out, is that there was some actual effort put into the show. Little things like song selection and sound affects add so much. More please.

Still, disappointed that there was no sign of the promised extended talkback session on South's recent crisis. Nor was there any reference made to the previous week's promise to have a South representative on the show next week. Don't tell me that's going to end up not happening like the last time they made that promise?

2013 Fixtures
Apparently these were supposed to come out today. No such luck. A certain παπαγαλο has told us that the season will be starting on the week of April 6th.

Notes from an almost South-less weekend

Don't know about you, but for once it wasn't too hard to find things to do without the eight hours I usually spend on a Sunday in the cause of watching South, which involves public transport, the ressies, the main game and a quite dinner with Gains and Steve from Broady, preferably at somewhere good and cheap.

On Friday night I became the victim of public transport crapness but still managed to catch about 70 minutes of the game between Port Melbourne and Fawkner. Port dominated the match, but ex-South goalkeeper Stefaan Sardelic had an excellent game, making several vital saves, including some excellent double saves. Would have been nice to see him receive some more encouragement from his teammates. I also saw someone get clocked in the head by a falling branch while standing behind the Plummer Street goals, thankfully no damage done.

Also got a call asking if I could fill in again for writing the state league 2 and under report for Goal Weekly, and I said yes. Then after my driver stopped for fuel and a sandwich, I somehow ended up in Oakleigh for a gin and tonic. Maybe because it was my birthday and people just about begged me to go outside of the house.

On Saturday afternoon I trundled over to Paisley Park for the state league 2 north-west match between Altona East and Westgate. Had a great souvlaki and saw the reserves snap an eight game losing streak by managing a 1-1 draw, and joined by Ian Syson, watched the senior match which was OK I suppose, a lot of effort but not a lot of method, before East got on top in the second half and probably should have won by more than the 1-0 margin. Overheard someone going on about the World Club Championship money, again.

Fahrudin Mustafic volleys home Singapore's third goal. Photo: PoHui Ko.

Felt like the supporter of an unpopular club when I had to listen to the Pies on the radio instead of watching them on free to air television. Became satisfied that the game was done and decided to watch the Singapore vs Malaysia 'Causeway Derby' World Cup Qualifier, Asian Zone, Second Round 1st leg tie. Stream was choppy but worked well enough for me to see all eight goals. Spent Sunday morning writing the state league report and a match report for the Singapore match and round up of other related results, which you can read here.

Olympia's Joshua Colosimo clears ahead of Devonport's Brad Chilcott. Photo: Walter Pless.

Then I watched about five minutes of the season 1996, round 22 match between Hawthorn and Melbourne, then had some lunch. Checked Walter Pless' blog for discussion of Olympia's win over Devonport City, which sees them through to the state wide cup final against South Hobart. And then went to Aldi and bought a lot of junk and a couple of bottles of cider. Oh and courtesy of Oakleigh's win today, we slip down to third. Joe Montemurro apparently got the sack as well. And rumours are circling that James Spanos is due to fly in this week from Greece to resume his South career.

Google Translate

This is pretty much only for the Greek speaking and reading folks out there. Some random reader recently translated a post in here, which in turn translated several of the labels on the right hand side. See if you can figure out what they're all supposed to be, and have fun. I was going to be in a lot more, but decided to go for what I thought was the cream of the crop.

1. Τώρα Ακρόπολης
2. Όλα τα λευκά
3. Brisbane απεργούς (my personal favourite)
4. Πασπαλισμένο με φρυγανιά Πικάντικες Πτέρυγα κοτόπουλο
5. Doug Καφέ
6. Frankston Πεύκα
7. Κατεψυγμένα δάκρυα 
8. Πράσινο και του Στρατού Gold 
9. Καταπράσινη ρεματιά
10. Χαϊδελβέργη Φίλε Laser 
11. Hooped Κάλτσες 
12. James Σπανός 
13. Φιλί του θανάτου 
14. Μεγάλα Έργα Βικτώρια 
15. Ο κ. Cleansheets
16. Κανείς δεν μας αρέσει εμάς δε μας ενδιαφέρει 
17. Φυστίκι Man
18. Κολοκύθα Eaters Σπόρων 
19. ΚΠΡ
20. Πίνακας αποτελεσμάτων  
21. Sno Κώνοι
22. Η ηλικία 
23. Δυτικά του Σίδνεϊ Μούρα

What it chooses to translate is too random. Some Greek names are entirely in English; others half and half; others still, entirely in Greek. The same word or phrase will sometimes be translated into Greek, while other times it's just left alone. And then, just when you thought it couldn't get any stupider, some obviously not-Greek names, like Ante Kovacevic, get the full Greek treatment. Going through this has also reminded me of how much crap I have written.

South of the Border awards 2009

Collect and prepare ingredients from February-August. Simmer over low heat for a couple of days. Post and leave to cool on blog windowsill and be ignored by everyone.

Player of the year: Sebastian Petrovic. Even George Katsakis was impressed with his performances this year.

Under 21 player of the year: The Cliff Hussey Memorial Trophy goes to James Spanos. Rare for a player to go through an entire season and not make a single mistake, but he did it.

Goal of the year: Goran Zoric's fourth goal against Preston at BT Connor. Flick, volley, from outside the box, top corner, 7-1, good night nurse.

Best performance over a whole match: Bergers away. Too bad we couldn't score a goal to go with it.

Best period of play during the season: Probably the first 20 minutes of the 2nd half against the Knights at Lakeside. We kinda looked like we could do anything then.

Best away game: Richmond. Good company (except for Psile, who was in hiding from Victorious), good food, good win, and the Pies got up by a point as well.

Best call on the terraces: The old bloke who'd fainted/collapsed at the home game against Hume. When the ambulance arrived and he'd seemingly partially recovered he apparently asked them if he could stay to watch the second half. I was saddened to hear that this person, apparently a member for over 40 years, passed away a few weeks ago. My condolence to his family and friends. I hope I still have the same love for this club in 40 years time.

Chant of the year: Come On Hellas! Forza! Hellas!. Yes it's a chant from 2008, but one which was only chanted with any enthusiasm once the bloke who created it fucked off to Poland.

Fanatic of the Week - Paul Mavroudis

So we've exhausted our stash of genuine vintage Fanatics of the Week. And I'm bored and dismayed - and just because I'm typing this up on a rainy Saturday afternoon for release on a Wednesday, it doesn't mean that I won't be bored and dismayed at the moment it's published or when you read it.


FANATIC OF THE WEEK

Saturday, 14th March, 2009

This week’s fanatic is Paul Mavroudis who likes the club because, to paraphrase Lift To Experience "we have to, not because we want to".

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NAME: Paul Mavroudis

AGE: 25.

SUBURB: In the Darkness On The Edge Of Town

INTERESTS: 'Football'; the other football; books; alternative 'music'; Wikipedia; collating statistics; blogging; providing highly educational but seldom understood pearls of wisdom on Internet forums; stopping myself from writing cliched serial killer fiction where I annihilate everyone that shits me and handing it in as part of my coursework; public transport; retro gaming; providing constructive criticism of classmates' mostly pisspoor attempts at short fiction; stickers; Fred Negro's 'Pub' strip when it isn't just St Kilda in jokes; a fair few crazy animated television shows; dessert.

FAVOURITE SOCCER CLUBS: South Melbourne.

ARE YOU A MEMBER OF SOUTH MELBOURNE?
Yes. Until the Hellas Fan Club comes in and sets everything right again, back to the way it used to be, in the Beforetime, the Long Long Ago. Soon I hope. Put us all out of our misery.

WHAT AGE DID YOU EXPERIENCE YOUR FIRST MATCH?
Probably around 9 years old, the home game against West Adelaide in season 1992/93 where we won won 4-2. They were introduced as our cousins from South Australia or something like that, hmm.

WHITE COLLARS OR BLUE?
Seriously, should it really matter?

FAVOURITE SOUTH MELBOURNE MEMORY?
The day everyone realised Acropolis Now was actually farken shithouse. Which is technically not a memory since it hasn't happened yet, as can be seen from this review of Stephen Hawking's 'Brief History of Time', which I did end up reading the entirety of, and not just get bored by page 3, thank you very much John Safran. Not that I understood all or even most of it, but I got something out of it I think, and Carl Sagan's question in the introduction to that book about why we can remember the past but not the future struck a quixotic physical and philosophical chord.

Our ability to remember past but not future also coincides with the arrow of entropy. The reason, Hawking says, is that whenever a memory is made, in either a brain or a computer, the smidgen of energy required to light up a neutron or move an electron is released as heat. Heat ---roiling, chaotic heat--- increases entropy. Memories, then, because they release heat, increases disorder, too. Entropy increases from yesterday to tomorrow. That`s why memories are made in the past --- to Hawking a more convincing explanation than the pedestrian statement that one can remember only what has already occurred." (Newsweek, January 4, 1993.)

MOST MEMORABLE GAME WATCHED?
The 2006 VPL Grand Final, because within a few seconds a whole bunch of people forgot we'd just won a championship and were more interested in throwing rocks at other people who were piggy backing for a day on the fat woman's current club in order to pursue some sort of justice for issues of blood, land, culture and history located mostly in the Balkans and who were also throwing rocks. Halcyon days.

FAVOURITE DEGRASSI MOMENT
The scene where Wheels is for some inexplicable reason wearing a Footscray guernsey.

FAVOURITE CURRENT PLAYER?
James Spanos. Doesn't even have to do anything to be part of the senior team. Doesn't make mistakes. Known by people who don't even know of the actual players.

FAVOURITE BISCUIT
Arnott's Kingston, the grownups chocolate biscuit.

BEST SOUTH MELBOURNE PLAYER EVER?
Paul Trimboli. Stupid question.

ASTERIX OR TINTIN?
Asterix, but they're both pretty cool.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT SOUTH MELBOURNE?
Oh wow, where do you begin? For starters, I like the lies. The little ones, like why we didn't wear the South Melbourne United heritage strip, to the medium ones, to the big ones, with the claims of 10,000 strong crowds at pretty much every game in the 1980s, because the people making those claims either have dementia or only went to the games with 10,000 people, and not to the games with 800 people against teams such as Brisbane Lions.

I also love the fact that we've never played in South Melbourne.

I love the hypocrisy which pours fourth constantly out of every orifice, especially with regards to the A-League and the AFL.

I love people living off past glories and thinking it's enough to last a lifetime.

I love the fans who see only what they want to see and never what's actually in front of them.

That's just the stuff off the top of my head.

WHAT DO YOU DISLIKE ABOUT SOUTH MELBOURNE?
The food could be better at times.

WOULD YOU EVER SUPPORT ANOTHER NSL TEAM?
No.

WHY?
Well, the league doesn't exist anymore, so I guess it's impossible to support another NSL team.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME PAUL!
My pleasure.

South in the Suburbs quite good; South Melbourne wins game, also good

Ok, so I didn't have to work today, so I was able to go and spend all my money buying memberships and shit in Oakleigh. I got me my usual South Gold membership (with voting rights and and keyrings and shit), and I also paid for a jersey and for my spot at the jersey presentation night. Wow. I'm awesome. That was $345 dollars straight to the South kitty; it could've ended up in a worse place to be honest.

On my shirt I've asked if we can get numbers, and they said they'll get back to me on that. It's all a bit of a blur now, but for some reason if it were to happen I'd be getting Shane Nunes' number 2. I didn't ask about names, but if they were available as well, one would have to go the whole hog. Either that or break Shane's heart, but do the right and pay due homage to the great James Spanos. Anyway, quite a few South peeps turned out for the occasion, and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Below: Everyone else will be posting photos of the entire team in a nice shot and smiling and shit. I'm going to be different and give you a photo of them getting ready for that shot.



So it was then on Kingston Heath, where the search for Spanos continued in vain. The consoloation prize was seeing a pretty decent South line up clean up Panserraikos (formerly South Springvale Serres, who we played last year), but seriously, the souvlaki was pretty ordinary, dry as fuck turkish bread, no cacique, and they didn't even put salt on the cucumbers in the salad. For fuck's sake.

Below: Fernando and friends celebrate scoring a penalty against their fearsome opposition.

I'm sorry I don't have a picture of the quite nice 'Large Yoyo' I had from Nikos Quality Cakes, nor of the Nestle peach flavoured iced tea. Good luck to Jim and Raf on their wedding tomorrow.

South of the Border congratulates under 21s team

Before I get to them, the seniors also had a hit out against Northcote, drawing 1-1. Some senior players played, Nick Curtis was in and did ok, James Spanos was absent for some reason, we missed a penalty, generally looked half-baked, but I'll let it slide through to the keeper this time, since it is their first game of the year.

Now to the under 21s. Why am I sending my congratulations to them when they haven't even kicked a ball in anger? Because they have already surpassed their finishing position of last year, which was 13th, which itself was an improvement on their 2007 placing of 15th. Nevermind that each season has seen less teams in the competition, or that the side is playing like shit and barely one player looks likely to break into the senior squad. Why care about style, competency, even results when we have a keeper who tries to dribble around players only to lose the ball, then kick the post hard in disgust after he cops a goal; maybe if he'd used that remarkable leg strength on the ball he wouldn't have the need to kick the woodwork. Maybe if the players could hit short passes, maybe even the occasional decent cross. Ah forget it. If I get to games early this year, I'll be in the social club, avoiding the bloodbath.

James Spanos found alive! At least, 'a' James Spanos, if not the real one.

Within hours of the call being made in the hopes of locating the mysterious and reclusive South Melbourne legend James Spanos, an anonymnous tipoff to South of the Border came up with a facebook photo of this particular individual, named James Spanos. As we here in the office don't know what James Spanos superstar is supposed to actually look like, we're just going to roll with this one until something better comes along.

What's a James Spanos?

There is allegedly a superstar mystery South player out there with the name James Spanos. Not a reserve, not a triallist, not some schmo from the under 21s, but a senior player. If you know the whereabouts of this man, who I have no idea who the fuck he is despite my stats work, please contact South of the Border or your local police station as soon as possible. Thank you.