Zero Sugar - Werribee City 0 South Melbourne 6

Freddie Sey bundles in his first goal for South,
 putting South up 2-0. Photo: Luke Radziminksi.

This was the pre-season game you have when you're not having a pre-season game. It was at a ground that most South fans would never have heard of. You didn't have to pay to get in. It was against a lower league opponent. It was hot, with frequent drinks breaks. And we fielded what was a half-strength team, and still got the job done.

There's really not much more to say than that. What could have been a banana skin game turned out to be anything but. Werribee's senior squad seems to be very young, and while we fielded a couple of kids of our own, there was more than enough experience on the field for us to overcome whatever inexperience our youth team players would have carried into the game.

Backup goalkeeper James Burgess made his debut for South, with Pierce Clark being on the bench. Freddie Sey got his first start as a South player and his first goal. South junior Sasha Murphy made his debut, while fellow junior Yianni Panakos came off the bench and scored a penalty. Marcus Schroen got his first start of the season, and played just over a half. Brad Norton came back into the starting lineup. Gerrie Sylaidos was left out of the squad entirely, as was Ben Djiba, while Harry Sawyer and Henry Hore started on the bench; Hore would come on in the second half and score. Jake Marshall came in for Marco Jankovic, and Daniel Clark also came back into the starting eleven.

The most impressive player on the day was Zac Bates, who scored a couple of goals and set up at least one more. Overall, it was not the kind of lineup you're likely to see again this year. Within five minutes it got on to the front foot with a Norton goal, and without exerting itself too much, then went on to score goals at regular enough intervals to be emphatic without showing off - except for Bates' second goal, which was a bit showing off. 

What could have been a tricky week ends up with three wins, and some reasonably good rotation of the senior squad. Not one of the three opponents we faced over that eight day stretch offered up the kind of challenge that I expected. Magic, despite their spending and player pedigree, and despite taking the lead, were overwhelmed by a team that had only scored three goals in the opening four weeks. Thunder tried hard, and defended well enough, but were mostly kept in the game for as long as they were by some profligate finishing. And Werribee, despite the advantages of a few days extra rest, were out of the hunt within twenty minutes.

All of which means there'll still be doubters over how good this team actually is; and fair enough, too, because it's still early on in the season and there's much to learn. That, and we've also served up some real slop in the first six weeks of the year despite the good results. But as usual, it's worth remembering that things could have turned out much worse. Heidelberg apparently rested a bunch of first teamers, and got done by Nunawading. The sputtering Altona Magic are out, after losing to Ballarat City. But the shock of the round was Altona North coming from behind to beat St Albans - no idea what kind of lineup Dinamo fielded, but that's still a terrific result for a state 3 club.

Looking ahead to the next round of the cup and possible opponents, the draw has opened up more than I thought it would have. As well as the aforementioned NPL trio, Dandy Thunder are also out, having lost to Green Gully. At the time of print, Bentleigh, Dandy City, and Port Melbourne had all yet to play their lower league opponents.

All of which means we'll probably get drawn against Knights again.

Next game

Back to league action, away at Green Gully on Friday night.

Final thought

Some weird cats out there yesterday watching the game from the non-shaded parts of Grange Reserve. Hope they had their sunscreen on.

Not winning, not losing - Port Melbourne 0 South Melbourne 0

I don't know why I sometimes take so long to post match reports. I think it might have something to do with the farther away we get from a game, the less bad I feel about it. If I wrote and posted this straight after getting home last Friday? Probably full of queasy hyperbole about sacking everyone and doom and the pain of it all, and things like that. If I posted it on Sunday? Maybe something a bit more imbued with try-hard levelheadedness.

Now though, at this very late stage of the report writing week? Meh. We got a point. Probably should have got all three, but things could be worse. Onto next week. Did you notice that there are pomegranate trees out the back of Port's ground? How teeth-rottingly good are $2 cans of soft drink? I really should have brought more than half a pack of lozenges with me. That kind of thing.

Anger has dissipated to acceptance at a remarkably rapid rate; that state where we must accept the things we cannot change, while still having the courage to keep turning up to South in the hopes of being the person who can finally shut the lights off - winning the title of all-time smugness champion (for enduring longer than anyone else), and also the title of all-time pointless masochism (also for enduring longer than anyone else).

Every week my belief that we have at least a competent squad is bolstered. The way this season is going, albeit based on a small sample size, this squad could even make the finals just based on how middle-of-the-road almost every other team seems to be. But the weeks have also bolstered my belief that the coach is not up to it. Is it a communication issue? Is it a case of playing favourites? Is it my latest cack-headed theory, that he's actually too smart for this league, that he's overthought what's going on out there? 

I threw up that idea at about halftime last week, that maybe Quintas is actually really smart, and that his tactical prowess might be too much for this competition. If that's the case, maybe we need an out-and-out idiot coaching us instead, someone with a rudimentary at best understanding of soccer tactics; someone who will go out of their way to pick the best eleven players available to start a match, play them in their most suitable positions, and sub off players who are injured or tired.

Maybe such a coach could even throw on a player to take advantage of their opponent going down to ten men, especially when you're in the midst of overrunning them. I don't know. Maybe we're so broke we can't actually afford to put subs on when the opportunity seems to present itself. Maybe it's not even the cost of the individual sub who'd' get paid an appearance fee, but the win they might contribute towards, which could end up seeing the whole squad paid a win bonus.

One could blame Harry Sawyer for our not scoring last week - I mean, his penalty attempt was pretty tame - but on the other hand, he has scored two of our league-lowest tally of three goals (hello 2019!). And would it kill us to have to rely on more than one clear-cut chance a week to maybe win a game, or at best break-even? Oh, I found some working earphones left behind the bus, does that count as getting ahead? Probably not, but these are the kind of skinny margins we're talking about here.

The first half, my goodness, what was it with this switching the ball from the right to the left? I mean, it worked insofar as the ball managed to get where it was designed to go, but it failed to do nearly anything else, because by the time the ball did get to the left (where everyone assumed it would end up) Port's defence was now in place. The second half, where for some reason that tactic was abandoned for half an hour at least, was much better. We even looked like scoring a couple of times. Imagine we set up the team like that for the whole game, instead of trying to stalemate our way to a one win, 25 draw season.

I'm not going to say that the opponent was of a particularly high calibre, but since most of our fans (and probably the rest of the league) have written us off as also being meh, it was nice to be clearly the better team at least in part by choice and/or design. That's not to say that Port didn't have chances to score, and Pierce Clark has done his bit to keep us with one of the best defensive records in the game. 

But you can't help but feel that somehow, despite self-indulgent grumbling about how awful we are, that we could, perhaps should have an extra four points on the board, and thus maybe even be top of the league, which says something about the filthy state of the league at this particular moment of time. 

I felt sorry for Daniel Clark, who had to be both right-back and winger; for Brad Norton, who needed to be relieved at about the 80 minute because he'd worked so hard, and had nothing left to give; for Zac Bates, and Ben Djiba, and whoever else was on the bench, but not given a chance. I felt good for Gerrie Sylaidos, who looked more decisive, like maybe he'd turned a corner. And I felt good for me, for finally getting some new glasses so that I could see all of this a bit better.

Having missed seeing the previous week's game because of public transport shenanigans, it was only fitting that I did not bother to check on whether there were going to be any train shenanigans this week, and get burned because of it. The 234 being a silly bus which does not stop exactly near any CBD train station, on the way back I took it up to near enough to Flagstaff so that I could exit the city loop in the shortest amount of time possible; only to then learn that there were no trains to Sunshine going through the loop, so I had to walk to Elizabeth St, catch a tram down to Flinders with some pissed guy who considered pulling the emergency door release handle, and then catch a train back to Sunshine.

If you try hard enough, you may be able to discern in that a metaphor for what this South team is trying to do. Though, to absolutely butcher a lyric from Art Brut's 'Emily Kane', "every allegory looks like a South one, when I squint".

Next game

Altona Magic at Paisley Park on Saturday evening, the last of this stretch of early season away games.

FFA Cup news

Last Monday I was sitting on my laptop, waiting for the livestream of the local women's cup draw to finish, because I assumed that soon afterward there would be the draw for the next round of FFA Cup matches. That didn't happen. I then completely forgot about the possibility that Football Victoria might do the draw yesterday, so of course that's when they did it, while I was out galivanting around Brunswick with a mate.

I jumped on Twitter later on, and found that the draw had taken place, and that we'd been drawn away against NPL 2 team Werribee City. Without wanting to overinflate the capabilities of our opponent, it was a bit of a dud draw for us, seeing as how almost every other team in our division seemed to get fixed up against a team lower down the food chain.

New old videos being added

Some of you may have seen that I've begun uploading some new South related content to my YouTube channel. On Friday I was given a good amount of South videos spanning 1983 to about 1995 on a couple of portable hard drives, and I'll be uploading those at a gradual rate. The best way to keep up to date with new uploads is to subscribe to my channel, check my Twitter feed, or hope that someone else shares links.

I'm thankful to those who passed the videos on to me, though they wish to remain anonymous. The content is mostly, but not exclusively, South Melbourne wins in the National Soccer League. A reasonable amount of the videos have been uploaded in other formats, either by me or by others sharing the same kinds of content, so my initial focus will be on uploading those games that I have not seen uploaded anywhere on the net. 

I've not had a chance to go through all the videos yet, but the labelling on the files is a bit off on a few occasions, so I also have to figure out what game's from when. Still, having a basic understanding of when certain players were at the club, as well having John Kyrou's spreadsheets on hand, means that figuring what game it is isn't that time consuming.

For those who take an interest in such things, much of the 1990s footage in this tranche will be familiar viewing; still, more recent South fans  - who are unfamiliar with the great early 1990s era of South Melbourne Hellas - will get a kick out of seeing what was a very good team, as well as a great feel for Middle Park in the early days of summer soccer. 

The 1980s footage will be less familiar to even keen older fans. Apart from its relative rarity (especially the 1983 stuff), it includes some of the lower points of the club's history - those 1986, '87, and '89 seasons weren't exactly crash hot for us, or for the NSL in general. So in the videos which cover that era you'll see some small crowds, a few truly dire pitches, and an often very physical style of play. 

But the good players and moments still shine through, and like me, I anticipate you'll appreciate the skill of players having to put up with less than ideal playing conditions, and yet still being able to do some quite wonderful things with the ball. 

Final thought / Puskas documentary

Some of you may remember the ongoing effort to create a documentary on Ferenc Puskas' time in Australia, and especially Puskas' time at South. Well, the following message has been posted by Tony Wilson on Instagram and Facebook:

For quite a few years now, I've been making a documentary about Ferenc Puskas in Australia, that's also about the old NSL, South Melbourne Hellas, Greek immigration, Hungarians in exile post '56, community and sport, and the 1991 Grand Final.

We're at the business end, literally in the sense that we have to raise money to pay for post production and footage licences. but also we need to close the lid on the archival resources we're going to use:

Does anyone have photos or footage of: 

1. Middle Park, crowd shots, atmosphere at games, arriving at games, club rooms, club functions, with South Melbourne being the focus, Just missing 1991 (say 1994) might still work.

2. A photo that shows the ethnic affiliation of the club they supported, with fans or players - we have an explainer on the ethnic nature of the NSL for overseas audiences; (Croatian flag... star of David, Yugoslavian connections etc etc)

3. Puskas photos or footage, any era, but particularly South Melbourne or out at Keysborough doing his clinics, pre-South Melbourne. (The holy grail here would be hand held video 8 or beta or vhs or super 8 from fans hanging around the club rooms, or going to airport to meet Puskas)

4. Footage or photos from the welcome function, 1989.

5. Footage or photos from the crowd on grand final day 1991, especially post match, club rooms.

6. Footage or photos from the post premiership end of season trip to Greece, 1991.

7. Great photos of South icons of the 1988-91 era, Ange Postecoglou, Mike Peterson, Paul Trimboli, Kimon Taliadoros, Mehmet Durakovic, Con Boutsianis, Paul Wade, Peter Tsolakis, Jim Pyrgolios, Steve Blair.

We hope to have the film finished in the next few months. Any help would be appreciated. My email is tony at tonywilson dot com dot au

This is it folks. Somebody out there must have something, or know somebody who has something, to help out Tony and Rob with this film.

I've had a sneak peek at some of the film segments. The match footage is great. The talking heads lined up for the interviews have done their bit. Now the filmmakers need the stuff that only exists in people's scrapbooks, photo albums, cupboards, and boxes in the garage, to really take the film to the next level.

If you have anything stashed away that could help filmmakers Tony Wilson and Rob Heath, or if you know someone who has this kind of material, then now is the time to step up and be counted. Don't be that person who'll see the film when it comes out, who'll say "oh, I had this photo or that homemade footage, they should've included that in the film". Be the person who'll be able to say, "that photo or footage at that part of the film? That was mine".

Deflated - Port Melbourne 4 South Melbourne 0

No Michael Eagar, who would be out for two weeks with a knee injury received against Bulleen on the Monday night. No Brad Norton, who pulled up sore from the Bulleen game. Tim Mala out of action, too, not sure why. An underdone Kristian Konstantinidis in at right back, uitlity Liam McCormack at left back, and Carl Piergianni at centre back. Then we got kicked out of the far side of the ground by security man Arthur Akritidis, and things only went further downhill from there.

(And yes, as a media pass holder I could have stayed there, but that's not the point is it? Why are patrons barred from what is the best viewing spot at this ground? It's not like they don't have security there. It's not like other clubs stop people from going next to and behind the benches. )

Forgive me if I don't pontificate in my usual way about tactics - being behind the goals we were nominally attacking in both halves was not ideal for either where the interesting things happened, let alone my sub-par vision staring into the darkness.

The first goal we conceded, it seemed like no one bothered to mark anyone either on the wings for the crosses, or for the man sitting by himself in the six yard box. Then there was the chance they had where they somehow headed the ball down into the turf and over the bar.

What did we offer in return in the first half? A lot of possession, but zero penetration. Crosses which missed Milos Lujic, and because of the way we play, no one else was there to make a difference. Oh, and we called for handball a million times, hoping for the ref would bail us out.

Second half, and we let Andreas Govas do the thing that Andreas Govas does better than anyone in the league, namely launch a bomb from distance. Why or how he was allowed to have that much room is anyone's guess.

The rest of the game has become a blur. They scored twice more and hit the crossbar, while we switched things around personnel wise for little improvement. Trying to walk the ball in is a problem, no support for Lujic is a problem, bad crossing is a problem - and yet none of these are new problems.

Getting done over by a team half made up of South discards and rejects - Alan Kearney, James Karvelis, Francesco Stella, Andreas Govas - was the cream of the humiliation cake. Getting done over 4-0 by a team that had reputedly not even had a shot on target the week before was the cherry on top of the cream of the humiliation cake.

Just one slightly fortunate point from our opening two games, against opponents predicted to be nowhere near finals contention. Not much of worth to hold onto from this game in particular. It'd be easy to get hysterical, but as it was the whole experience was so deflating that there was nothing worthwhile getting angry about. Also, it's only round two, so you know, things might get better.

Or they might get worse, and wouldn't we all look foolish for getting carried away now instead of then?

Next game
Avondale Heights at Somers Street on Saturday night.

Dear Sir and/or Madam (I am not a crackpot)
I am disappointed - nay, disgusted - with the decision by persons at FFV to no longer produce an online NPL and NPL 2 video highlights package.

The original move to create such a highlights package and make it accessible via youtube was to me one of the smarter things the FFV's media department had done in recent memory. Each week, most of the previous round's action, usually watchable, was condensed into a ten minute or so package crammed with goals and incident from beginning to end.

But now it seems that approach was far too convenient for the audience. Now Savvas and Dave and I and all the other dateless wonders who pay attention to this miserable competition will have to trawl through the internet each week, looking for each NPL club's highlights individually, except for the A-League youth teams' games, because I don't see their participation in the NPL as valid.

Others meanwhile are angry that South is no longer screening its SMFC TV programme on the pay television community channel Aurora. Frankly, I reckon that decision is long overdue. If you wanted to put something on in the more obscure part of the media, that's where it was.

When SMFC TV was on Channel 31, which is accessible by nearly everyone with a television, it made perfect sense. Now I understand why the show was moved - Channel 31's digital licence was set to expire (and is hanging on for grim life). In addition to that, South had not only invested a fair chunk of money but also much ideological currency into the idea that this venture was an important part of the club's (modern) public face.

But what kind of public face can you have when you pick the most obscure corner of television on which to promote your product? Yes the internet is a bottomless chasm of information sources and competing ideas, but its inefficiencies in this case are so superior to Aurora.

Despite the pay TV industry itself having successfully manufactured the idea in the wider public sphere that everyone has pay television, the reality is that Australia's subscription television uptake is only about 30% of households.

And while I'm (perpetually) annoyed at the way FFV and South have used the stats from FFV's Facebook live stream against Bulleen, one can still note that those kinds of ventures have a greater chance of reaching existing and new audiences than most of the alternatives.

I'm more aghast that the club has stopped providing full length editions of South Radio, now breaking it up into bite size segments. This move totally misses the point of what made South Radio listenable - rather than the overly slick production values of the rest of our media efforts, the podcast had a looser, more personable feel.

I'm not saying it was great, but part of its charm - perhaps even the main thing I liked - was that the long-form version of South Radio was everything they don't teach people at media school.

Which, if I'm being honest, is seeing things through my moderately lo-fi aesthetic lens. But that's part of this blog's charm, too, no?

Frozen Tears news!
I don't know when, but apparently Jon Powers of Frozen Tears has remastered Frozen Tears' 'South Melbourne' song. Wasn't it fine the four different ways it was?

Aping Robert Christgau, badly

Around the grounds
Stop me if you've heard this one before
Went out to the John Farnham Retirement Tour This Is It Stadium on Saturday afternoon in the hopes of seeing bad soccer, something worse than what I'd seen the night before. Mission accomplished. Before that though I had three blokes at the gate stare at my media pass like a dog being shown a card trick, as Bill Hicks would say. Got there early enough for a hamburger before the 3:15 kickoff, but for reasons which will never be known this game didn't kickoff until 3:29 - it's a good thing that NPL 2 West isn't a real comp like the NPL proper, or else someone might care and do something about it. Nothing of any note happened for the first half hour. In fact so much nothing happened that one started reevaluating all one's life decisions even more intensely then usual. Then Georgies managed to get behind the Werribee defense, cutback, bundled in for 1-0. A second goal for Georgies right on half time was neater, but also worse - a free kick on the edge of the box played short, cutback, tap in, 2-0. The second half was marginally more interesting, not that the visitors did anything to make it so. They pulled one back from their first proper chance in the 92nd minute, but that's all they could do.

Final thought
Thank goodness this game didn't reach a million views or clicks or subliminal retinal imprints.

Cockatoos! Mornington 1 South Melbourne 6

I wasn't stupid enough to haul myself out to Dallas Brooks Park on a Monday night for a pre-season friendly. According to SMFCMike's Twitter reportage:

• The game was two 45 minute halves.
• Starting lineup was Roganovic, Konstantinidis, Adams, Piergianni, Mala, Pavlou, De Niese, Daley, Marafioti, Minopoulos, Kecojevic.
• Goals for us were Minopoulos (x2), Epifano, Lujic, Millar, Schroen.
• Highlight was cockatoos.

Next game, including live stream details
As I have already complained about numerous times, we open our league season against Bulleen at the Veneto Club on Monday night.

For those who cannot or who choose not to make the trek out there, there will be a live video stream on the NPL Victoria Facebook page.

Farewell hooped socks

Check out our exclusive launch video of our new @pumafootball playing kit for the 2017 #PS4NPLVIC season. pic.twitter.com/xZ43WE4oEw

— South Melbourne FC (@smfc) February 6, 2017

Also, you'll need to wait a bit until you can buy these. Speaking of which.

Memberships
We have all been assured that they will be coming out this week.

Not that any of that matters just yet
This week the draw for the NPL national playoff series was held. The result of that draw will see the team that finishes on top of the NPL Victoria ladder at the end of the 2017 season play the equivalent NPL Western Australia side in Western Australia in the NPL national playoffs. I am mentioning this only, or rather mostly, to put the final nail in the coffin of a stupid rumour that was started by 'someone' around the time of the last AGM, and which has still kind of persisted even though it was refuted by eminent persons, or just regular persons, take your pick.

By the way, I really wanted to link to that scene in Death in Brunswick we're they're stomping on the coffin inside the grave, but youtube has failed us on that front, providing only links to the trailer. Which reminds me, I was in a coffin once, and not a very comfortable one I might add.

Around the grounds
Too early in the season to be jaded; too hot not to be jaded
After the unveiling of the Ferenc Puskas statue I headed out to Campbell Reserve to see Moreland City vs Werribee City in the opening round of the NPL 2 season. The man at the gate tried to sell me tickets to the raffle, but the prizes were too A-League oriented, and I told him as much. There was a hive of activity around the ground, as small shade tents had been erected behind the goals, a media gantry was in place, and even a new electronic scoreboard. Sadly the scoreboard froze eight minutes and seventeen seconds into the first half. Trent Rixon, suspended for this match after getting frustrated with a bloke doing 'too many Maradona turns', was one of many notable onlookers in this game, along with George Donikian (who was also at the statue unveiling) and a number of South of the Border well wishers. As for the game itself, a largely dull, grinding affair, only in part due to the heat. Moreland scored first, and Werribee scored second, against the run of play, After the game, I saw the route 1 tram wait through about six or ten traffic light cycles because of people in cars who wanted to turn right onto Moreland Road. I hate those people so much.

Final thought
Yes, I will be writing about the Ferenc Puskas statue at some point (either on here or for another website), hopefully soon, but I really want to nail this one properly, because of the sheer absurdity of the whole situation.

Currently joyful, pending future doom - South Melbourne 3 Hume City 0

The first surprise yesterday was having an experienced referee in the middle of the ground in Perry Mur. He's not everyone's favourite ref - I think there are times when he could be more forthcoming with the cards - but as far as keeping a game under control, there ain't much better than him around. One has to marvel for example at how a spiteful period towards the end of the first half didn't spiral out of control. The second surprise was how good we were. Now people will say and have said that Hume were going to be tired from playing three games in one week, including a midweek FFA Cup match against Melbourne Victory.

[Should we count their home loss against Bulleen where they probably rested a whole bunch of players in the lead up to that FFA Cup game? Had they beaten us yesterday would they be instead be praised for their fitness and resilience? Surely Green Gully has had a more tiring schedule, what with having to play an extra match in the form of the Dockerty Cup final as well as having a pending FFA Cup match of their own. Does the fact that our last two wins came against teams who have played midweek fixtures in the lead up to their games against us mean our relative ease of victory in those matches is distorted?]

To be honest, I didn't see it like that, and I didn't notice much tiredness on their part. I didn't even think that Hume played badly, only that we played better. That in itself is an odd remark to make in a season which has been characterised by most South fans (including yours truly) being so quick to assess the opposition as having being unlucky whether they'd won or lost against; as our team being managed atrociously, having recruited badly and only in contention for top spot for as long as it was during the season because of the kind of outrageous fortune that few opposition sides could overcome. In a nutshell then, a result like this for Hume is entirely their own fault. How could they lose so badly to a team that was according to many of its supporters apparently many orders of magnitude more mediocre?

Leigh Minopoulos gets past his Hume City opponent. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

That's for those folk to figure out I suppose, while the rest of us enjoy this brief opening of a window in which we can convince ourselves that we have a realistic shot at the title. I've said it a million times, but having the extra man up front seems to do wonders for us. What was the most predictable (albeit still relatively effective) attack in the league has all of a sudden become one that is multifaceted, variable and fun to watch. It's been an entertaining as well as successful month of soccer. Our finishing could be better, but three goals a match will win you most games - though one has to note that we won't get as many chances as we did in this game every week. Most disappointing miss of the match goes to Matt Millar, for not hitting the drone that was hovering near the goal at the Albert Road Drive end of the ground - if you're going to sky the ball ten metres over the crossbar, at least take a drone or a seagull out!

It always (usually?) helps when you score an early goal, and Marcus Schroen (that little boy whom nobody liked) has run into a bit of form. That made up for Milos Lujic failing to score when one on one with Chris Oldfield - and while I'm not against Milos taking the early shot, it seemed to be at odds with our recent practice of trying to go around the keeper.

Everyone pitched in, even the People's Champ, who worked hard and tracked back when necessary - so much so that it was being remarked upon that someone may have finally had a word with him that had made a difference, ONLY FOR THE PEOPLE'S CHAMP TO ALMOST IMMEDIATELY LOSE OUT IN A CONTEST IN MIDFIELD AND CHUCK A MASSIVE SOOK AND HAVE THE GRANDSTAND RISE AS ONE IN RESPONSE WITH FRUSTRATION AND FURY. Having said that, he managed to keep himself in check for the rest of the game even if his finishing has been in the same place it has been for most of the season, which is in the toilet. But most of us would have been pleased with the effort he put in, while acknowledging that IT IS EXACTLY THOSE MOMENTARY LAPSES WHICH COULD LEAD TO THE OPPOSITION SCORING AGAINST THE RUN OF PLAY AND GAINING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ASCENDANCY. Nevertheless, his little header on the byline that lead to Norton's cross that lead to Milos' goal was commendable. He probably won't be able to rely on as true a bounce at the Village this week, but sometimes things just work.

At 2-0 up and cruising during the second half, the discussion in Clarendon Corner went all midlife crisis with people more interested in comparing different supermarkets in the northern suburbs. Thank goodness that didn't last, what with the discussion descending into what constituted the attainment of northern suburbs street cred (ie, how do you pronounce Reservoir and Mahoneys Road; gosh, it almost seemed that they were going to draw up a list for northern suburbs citizenship test) and most importantly HOW THAT DIDN'T MATTER ANYWAY BECAUSE

Attention to the match was restored upon witnessing Brad Norton collapsing in a heap towards the end of the game when it was just about wrapped up was the last thing we needed, even if he managed to walk all the way around the outer of the field unassisted after being subbed off - in an interview post-match Chris Taylor said that Norton had suffered a groin strain, and that while he could have continued playing, he was taken off as a precaution. One expects he'll be good to play this week - and with Manolo apparently flying out of the country last night, Kristian Konstantinidis performing well with Luke Adams in central defense, and Amadu Koroma not being able to force his way into the starting eleven, it's unlikely that we'll see any changes to the starting eleven, or even the match day selection as a whole.

Minopoulos' goal - it looked like an own goal but it's been credited to him, so who am I to take it off him - iced the game. It's just great to see everyone so happy. I know it won't last much longer, but instead of everyone wishing the season would just finish already, people are looking forward to going to see South Melbourne for at least one more week in 2016. The first half yesterday was about as a complete performance as we've put in all season.

Here comes the sciencey bit
The closest Hume got to scoring was in the following situations

• Immediately after we scored, which is their specialty
• From offside positions

Regarding the first matter, having watched the Altona East reserves during that era where they had a habit of conceding 1-3 goals within five minutes after scoring themselves, the answer to that seems to be to have the captain - ie, the most responsible, calm person - quickly get everyone back into the frame of mind of 'great we scored a goal, now let's regain our focus, and if necessary boot the ball out indiscrimately for the next few minutes to slow the game down'.

As for the second issue, each time they got free to shoot on goal, they were called back for offside - and even then they failed to beat Roganovic. It's the best we've played the offside trap all season, and considering that we're going to have the king of being offside playing against us next week, it will do us well to maintain that level of proficiency in this area.

But you can't always rely on the officials agreeing with your interpretation of offside. There was some discussion yesterday about the closeness of some offside calls, to which I blurted out something about the parallax effect without really knowing if it had any relevance to offside whatsoever. Luckily we had a qualified scientist nearby, and even if he was involved in chemistry and not physics or engineering (and I wasn't going to ask the economist, because economics is not a science) to suggest that the parallax could indeed have some bearing on the implantation of the offside rule.

This article here (with diagrams) I think provides a reasonably coherent explanation of the parallax effect on offside calls, but if like me you don't come out of it understanding how it all works, let's just assume as we have always done the linesman/woman/being/person/sentient entity gets all the decisions which go against us wrong, except when it's so obvious that he or she is right and instead we heap abuse on the incompetent player keeping everyone onside.

Next game
Heidelberg away, Saturday night. Make sure your vaccinations are up to date.

Women's team news
Congratulations to the senior women's team for clinching the State League 1 North-West title. They secured this with a 5-0 win over Eltham Redbacks. I had intended to see most of this game, but got caught up at the pub - at least I managed to catch the most of the second half.

Those of us who didn't go for a smoke at halftime warmly congratulated the team as they were presented to the crowd at halftime of the men's game. For those wondering where the trophy was, I presume because it is a state league championship, that they'll only receive a pennant for their troubles, as seems to be de rigeur for state league teams.

Just as an aside, there was some talk of SMWFC adding another star to their club crest because of this title. Surely that would only apply in the event that they won a top tier state title, not a second tier title? This is just one of the reasons why I hate stars on logos, but we're stuck with them I suppose.

There has been talk around the traps about the WNPL expanding to nine or ten teams, something which the current eight licensees are against because they do not believe the talent is there, and that such an expansion would dilute the quality of the league. There is even the view that the only reason that expansion is even being looked at is because of South Melbourne.

Now our ambition to return to local top flight women's football is no secret, so it will be interesting to see how this plays out. The current licensees may be right about the shallowness of the talent pool (especially now that everyone's leaving to play footy), but one feels that our inferred clout - as well as the facilities that we could devote to women's soccer - may get us over the line.

Nevertheless, while I wish I'd managed to get to a few more games this season, it's a huge congratulations from South of the Border to all the players and coaching staff for a successful season.

Around the grounds
The second last time
In 1981, after 34 years of wandering around a whole bunch of grounds in Melbourne, George Cross arrived in Sunshine - namely Chaplin Reserve, previously known as the Railway Reserve, Gardens Reserve (possibly also Sunshine Park) and perhaps more colloquially as McKay's ground, after HV McKay of Sunshine Harvester and minimum wage fame, effectively the town's founder and long time patrician. There they shared the ground with Sunshine City, an Anglo-Australian club. At the end of the 1982 season, Sunshine City and George Cross amalgamated, with City's yellow and black being incorporated into Sunshine George Cross' away strip.

In 2009, Sunshine George Cross played its final ever match at Chaplin Reserve, after selling the land to developers (though I'm not sure how it came to be that the land was owned by George Cross). Seven years later they did so again, although this time it seems to be for good, as the sale of the land gets finalised once and for all, probably turning one of Sunshine's earliest public spaces into apartments whose occupants will have their sleep interrupted by Sunbury, Ballarat, Geelong, and Bendigo trains. The ground's location, at the junction of two railway lines was no accident. The town itself was situated there for that purpose - and like the nearby HV McKay Gardens and the church next door, the reserve was situated for the optimum convenience of the local community.

(other factory sites in Sunshine also had their own sporting grounds, such as Nettlefolds which had a ground which backed onto the back of the factory, roughly on the present site of Harvey Norman)

Unlike some people, I liked Chaplin Reserve. Granted, I never got to see it at its best, which was probably during the 1970s when state league soccer still mattered and before the then still nomadic George Cross had moved there, or in the 1980s where thousands of mad Maltese would create a hostile atmosphere (see Paul Wade's account of one particular match there in his autobiography), but it had a rough working class charm that is a reminder that the de-suburbanisation of top flight sport in Melbourne wasn't just an VFL/AFL matter - it had a significant impact on soccer as well, socially and economically.

Michael Weinstein, Theo Marmaras and Tommy Burns watch a match a
match at Chaplin Reserve, during a Channel 9 broadcast in 1975.
Photo courtesy of Mrs Weinstein.

To that end, visiting the ground one was struck by the fact that national league soccer was played here - that games would have been broadcast from Sunshine to homes across the nation, or at least those watching SBS. Speaking to former George Cross player and coach Chris Taylor yesterday about this ground, he told me the story of how when he first arrived at Chaplin Reserve, he assumed it was the training ground; only to be told that, no, that was what they would train and play on.

No, I only got to see it during its decline. On my return to watching South and local soccer in general in 2006, I visited the ground for the first time and saw a match where we got done by a Trent Waterson header, and then got done by signing Waterson not once but twice. That day some nutbag George Cross fans in my vicinity called me 'Brooksy's love child', though I never did find out who the hell Brooksy was. I actually met up with those guys again in the Lakeside social club after the game with that goal by Fernando, where they were clearly not in as a good a mood.

The trip there in 2007 was my favourite South experience at the ground, but we've already spoken about that before. Earlier that same year, the greatest South Melbourne Hellas libero that never was pulled out two 360s in a pre-season game there. We also played a pre-season match against Knights there on a rock hard ground in 2008. Usually games for us there meant ugly, low scoring affairs, which we seldom won. Georgies getting relegated meant that we didn't get many chances to improve upon what was a pretty lousy record there, with our biggest win against them during our post-NSL era - a 4-0 mauling in the last round of 2010 - being played at Somers Street.

The entry to the dilapidated bocci/bocce club, which was being used by
some kids for a kickaround. Photo: Paul Mavroudis

The last game we played there was in 2014 - when the early rounds of what was FFA Cup qualification was still called the Dockerty Cup, and Robert Santilli gave away as daft a penalty as you'll ever see, gifting us a win we probably didn't deserve. The crowd for that game was perhaps just a tenth of what it was on my first visit there in 2006; Ozfootball says 1,000 for the 2006 league match - I reckon there would have been barely 100 for the 2014 cup match.

The best game that I ever saw there - and what with the ground being so compact, the surface usually rubbish, and Georgies teams more keen on playing rugby than soccer, that's not saying much - was the 2011 Langwarrin vs Whittlesea Ranges state 1/2 playoff game, a match with lots of goals and a bit of controversy. Despite its excellent positioning regarding public transport, I didn't get to nearly enough matches there, even after I moved to Sunshine last year, just a short bus trip and walk to the ground. Even when I lived in Altona North, one of the buses that went past my house would get me to within a stone's throw of the ground, and yet I never found myself there as often as I would more out of the way places.

To be fair, the shoddy football that George Cross played, the fact that the Geelong portion of the regional rail link works had seen the outer terracing removed - previously the best place to watch a match there from, aside perhaps from the bridge over the Bendigo line - and the dwindling crowds all contributed to diminishing the appeal of going there, when on any given Saturday there were so many more appealing soccer options across Melbourne.

Arriving at the ground on Saturday, there wasn't a huge crowd in attendance, perhaps 300-400 or so, mostly inside the social club pavilion under the adjoining shed, and clearly there to catch up with old friends rather than watch the game. Kevin Muscat, Andrew Marth and Paul Trimboli were just some of the old faces who'd turned up for the final hurrah. As for me, the most interesting thing I noticed during this time was the playing of a Sunshine George Cross Maltese language theme song over the PA system, which I would love to get a copy of.

With the outer terracing long gone, this
Werribee City supporter improvises
 a better view next to the bench.
Photo: Paul Mavroudis

The match itself provided Sunshine George Cross with a chance to redeem the failure to win their previous 'final' match at this ground against Preston, a game they lost 1-0 to a team that had up until that point won just one game all season and were due to be relegated. But within the opening five minutes Werribee put paid to any notion of romance or sentiment. With the hosts having failed to adequately clear a corner, City managed to keep bundling the ball forward until it was put away near the goal line.

Werribee (incidentally wearing black and yellow, the colours of Sunshine City, instead of their traditional blue and yellow), kept dominating thereafter up until the half hour mark, and should have added another couple of goals to their tally. Though they were going against the wind, it seemed to be more the fact the occasion had got to the George Cross players. They managed to lift late in the half and should have equalised - one effort hit the post and somehow the rebound stayed out of reach of every George Cross player in the box, and soon after another chance at the back was squandered. One of the George Cross players on the bench had a go at the teammate who missed the chance, only to be told off by his coach for doing so. Within five minutes the same coach was not shy about telling one of his players 'and that's why you're not playing at a higher level', or words to that effect.

The scoreboard, relocated from the south-west corner of the
ground to the south-east corner, was not in operation.
Photo: Paul Mavroudis

In the second half with the assistance of the breeze and the confidence gained from their first half rally, the home side controlled the game, with Werribee unable to get out of its own half except for the occasional attempt at booting it long down the field; but George Cross could not get into the box, and for the second time in a final game at Chaplin Reserve, they lost 1-0. The theme song was blasted over the PA after the game regardless of the result, and was still clearly audible at the bus stop on Durham Road a few hundred metres away.

A case containing (one assumes) numbers for the scoreboard, which
was not in operation on Saturday. Photo: Paul Mavroudis

So that's it for senior soccer at Chaplin Reserve. While it was not exclusively a soccer ground for all of its existence - a number of sports were played there, and a look at the 1945 aerial map suggests that footy and cricket were just two of the sports which used the park at some point - later on it was in its own way one of Melbourne's most iconic soccer grounds - if there can be such a thing for a state in which the game's premier or at least longest serving venues have often existed in the periphery of both the public imagination and the fringe of public amenity.

After speculation that they would end up in Caroline Springs, it appears that George Cross will move to Plumpton/Taylors Hill West. Whether that will mean a name change, I don't know.

Update 3/9/2017
They still played a whole season at Chaplin Reserve after this.

Final thought
Did you hear that sound yesterday? No? Exactly. Glorious, wasn't it? For the record, I had nothing to do with it, and you can't prove that I did.

Role reversal - South Melbourne 3 Green Gully 2

The crowd of 350 (plus George Katsakis and his wife apparently, as well as George Donikian's documentary crew) were treated to an exciting, if unusual spectacle. Exciting because it was a five goal thriller; unusual because the Green Gully side that played last night resembled no Green Gully side I've watched over the past decade. They played fluent football that did not rely upon their trademark bull storming style. Indeed it was South that was repeatedly punished by the referee (himself a massive unit of a bloke who was also a particular stickler for having the throw ins performed at exactly the right spot) for numerous fouls, and once more we collected yellow cards that will hurt us in the long run.

Gully had the better play and the better chances, and it will be interesting to see the progress this team can make over the course of the rest of this season. As for us, there was good and bad. The bad was the sloppiness of much of our passing, bouts of indecisiveness, and a habit of having our midfield sit too deep. The good was almost entirely contained in two players continuing to make their way back from injuries. David Stirton's two goals were well taken, and showed again signs for why we signed him. The other player to shine was Stephen Hatzikostas, who was in the middle of everything, providing the kind of steel we've been missing in the middle since Dane Milovanovic.

The best thing of all, of course, is that we won the game not because we were the better team, but in spite of it. The team kept fighting to the end, and Leigh Minopoulos' pass to Milos Lujic for the late winner was the measure of calmness. Last year Leigh would have taken the shot, and probably scored. This time, out of sorts this season in front of goal, he turned provider and Lujic, who had been treated worse than Travis Cloke by the officials, got on the scoring sheets for a second game running, putting paid to any theories of his 2015 self having an Andy Brennan dependency.

Next game
Knights away on Sunday.

It's a good thing we have a social media policy now to deal with these incidents

I suppose we were well overdue for more of this nonsense, so here we are again. Since nothing will be done about it, I do have one issue that I'd like to bring up in relation to this latest incident. Now I don't pretend to know enough about the Greek social and economic crisis to say whether or not Epifano is right about the level of debt or the root cause of the problem - and I somehow fancy that Nick himself has even less of an idea - but using the word 'peasant'? Now say what you like about South fans (and Epifano has, bless his white cotton socks), but peasant is probably one of the least accurate descriptions you could give. For starters, I'd categorise Dimitrios Jim George as an adjunct of the proletariat, seeing as how he works in manufacturing. Myself, I'm a semi-itinerant lay preacher and scholar. While we do have one groundskeeper that I'm aware of, most of the other people at the club are desk jockeys, entrepreneurs, bean counters, captains of industry, stonemasons, merchants, glorified babysitters, digital craftsmen, members of the caulking guild; you get the picture. I'm not even sure that we have any market gardeners, let alone members of an agrarian based class system whose job it is to till the land of the barons while struggling to find a spare moment to perform subsistence farming on their own meagre plot of land. If anything, the closest thing we have to peasants at South Melbourne are the players themselves, since they are in a sense bonded labourers (a situation which was worse for them pre-Bosman, since back then when their tenure was finished they still couldn't leave without a club's permission) working on the closest thing we have to agricultural conditions - mud, grass, etc - with the role of the reeve (the medieval term for the serfs' overseer, and the link man to the earls or barons) being undertaken to some extent by the coach (the home and away season is also arguably a sort of variation of medieval field rotation). Having put it like that, you can see that the root cause of the problem is giving peasants like Epifano, and Chris Taylor as the reeve, far too much respect, and letting them disrupt the social order. But since the black plague (the A-League) came in and wiped out most of our supporters, and FFV gave all the serfs more rights a few years back, I suppose we're in the process of evolving towards a market based economic and social system. Wake me up when we get to the anarcho-syndicalist commune stage.

Around the grounds
The wrong side of the bell curve
Take all of the following with an extra grain of salt. As a favour to a friend... no, favour is not the right word... I don't know what the right word is to be honest... I was finally able to make an appearance at said friend's son's under 16 match NPL West match. The contest was between Brunswick City, near bottom of the table, and Avondale Heights, somewhere near the middle, played on the back pitch at Dunstan Reserve, the one that used to be a footy oval. Now I don't watch junior soccer, and making sweeping judgements about the validity and effectiveness of the NPL based upon one game would be stupid. Certainly that's not my intention here. However, I will say a that I noticed a few things. The coaching seemed substandard. I can understand that at the size of the Victorian NPL - 32 clubs or whatever it is - that there will bad teams, and even poor players. What I did not expect was to see teams that were so robotic and one dimensional. The set up of the teams at the goal kicks - especially from Brunswick - resembled a set up a kick off. The skill level of most of the players was at best, mediocre - again understandable considering the obvious lack of depth of talent for this bloated NPL. Avondale had enough better players that they won the match something like 5-0.

More disturbing than the skill level was the style of game. There was very little fluency from either side, and while that was expected from the struggling Brunswick, even Avondale resorted to making the game into something resembling modern Australian Rules football, where the game had the appearance of being mostly one scrimmage to another. The field, while narrow, was in otherwise good condition, the conditions dry, and yet there were few moments where I felt that I was watching something resembling organised soccer. The toll of an already long and unsuccessful season was clearly visible on the faces of Brunswick team, but even the Avondale players didn't seem to be enjoying themselves. I've seen the bottom tier of women's soccer in this state, and I've followed a mostly struggling Altona East reserves team for years now, and even when they lose, there is still at some level an obvious enjoyment of the game and camaraderie.

That was in scant evidence at this fixture. There was little chatter from the players, and perhaps indicative of something, no usage of nicknames, no sense of familiarity with each other. It came across as if many of the players were lone rangers (someone else's term). There was also some mildly unsavoury business on the sidelines. At one point the Avondale coach abused his team's volunteer linesman for making a bad offside call, at which point the volunteer gave up being linesman. That this happened when his team was several goals up, and that the focus should have been on the development of his players rather than the scoreboard, is troubling. The parents on the sidelines for the most part were outwardly well behaved - a couple were more vocal and veered closer to the bad sports parent stereotype than they'd probably like to admit - but instead you had a sort of passive-aggressive vibe. Mutterings about coaches, about the inadequacies of players other than their own sons. The whole experience was very peculiar to an outsider, but it was just one game, and thus I'm reluctant to treat it as the norm for the competition. It has made me interested in seeing more though.

Every time a team plays South they treat it like a grand final
After watching the NPL junior game it was decided to go watch Melbourne Knights vs Werribee at Somers Street. At the very least I thought that the relegation threatened Bees would put in a spirited, grinding performance, but instead they got done 5-1, which only served to make me angry. Where was this crapness when they played us a few weeks back? Why they were put off by the terrible music being played over the Knights Stadium speakers in a way that they weren't when playing against us? It was a mediocre match, but at least a couple of the kids from the NPL junior game who came along for the ride learned something about soccer simply by watching one competent and one moderately competent (but on the day much less competent) teams do battle.

Final thought
A huge thank you to Cuddles for playing one of my song selections over the PA, that being Kitchens of Distinction's 'When In Heaven'.

Discordant - South Melbourne 1 Werribee City 0

This will be a relatively brief post.

First of all, commiserations to Gwelup Croatia for failing to make all our bitter dreams come true by losing their FFA Cup qualifier against Perth SC 4-3.

Anyway, despite the awful time slot, the 350 people in attendance - including about a dozen or so Bergers and Bentleigh onlookers - were treated to an exciting contest, albeit of an erratic and mostly middling standard of play. Some of the reasons for the game turning out the way it did must go down to our customary lethargic middle portion of the season shenanigans, but also due to Werribee playing a lot higher up the field than I, and I suspect many other had expected them to.

Lest I be accused of being willfully difficult or negative, I will say this: we looked a lot better in this game than we did against Dandenong Thunder the week before. Now the necessary disclaimers to that factoid are that we looked better going forward, while making little to no improvement in our defending, but it was a step in the right direction. It was a pity that we could not have been more clinical with our finishing, with Milos Lujic being the key offender, missing several excellent chances, but on the other hand, Werribee missed a ton of chances themselves, so let's all be grateful that Nick Epifano managed to put his chance away in the first half.

Someone made the point yesterday that Lujic hasn't scored a league goal since Andy Brennan left, which while being a clever and witty observation, was an observation so cynical that even  had to baulk at endorsing it. That's right, I've gone soft, but it's only been two league games, and it's not like Lujic didn't have plenty of chances - including another botched penalty attempt - to score a hattrick yesterday. Maybe the A-League recruiting guys were right all along.

Quite why we gave Werribee so much time and space on the ball is anyone's guess, and the less said about our inability to deal with long balls the better. Nikola Roganovic had a blinder in goals - the only way he could endear himself any more to the South fan base would be to somehow get his store's doughnuts on sale at Lakeside. If I had to give a 3-2-1 for this game, it'd be Roganovic three votes for saving our arses repeatedly, Iqi Jawadi two votes for working really hard in the midfield, and Epifano one vote because he scored and seemed to at least cause the opposition problems.

Next game
Bentleigh at home on Sunday. Could not imagine a 1st vs 2nd contest with this much disparity in form. This could turn out very good. More likely it could turn out very bad. Here's hoping for very good.

McEpifano/Choose your own adventure
The word on the terraces (via one of the Enosi 59 kids) yesterday was that Nick Epifano will be off to trial with Dundee United, and subsequent discussions seem to say that this is true, and that because of of this he'll miss the Bentleigh game, and I assume also the Heidelberg and Green Gully matches.

If you want the encourage Epifano at all costs (except calling for second efforts) reaction, turn to page 72

If you want the cynical 'fuck the cunt off' reaction, turn to page 43

Oh no he didn't!

Presumably for the best hissy fit at own supporters. pic.twitter.com/CuYE5swumB

— Ian Syson (@IanSyson) June 21, 2015

Simon Colosimo says 'hi'

Back to @smfc today. I had the pleasure of being a part of some great moments, memories & achievements that always put a smile on my face.

— Simon Colosimo (@Shime04) June 21, 2015

A reluctant word about chanting
Really discordant for large parts of the game yesterday, with some people going too slow considering that Clarendon Corner tends to go a little quicker, but it mostly sorted itself as the game went on. Not huge numbers by any strange of the imagination, but a good mix of old and new people.

Around the grounds
Gomer Pyle unleashes the full might of Charlene on the enemy
I eschewed a trip out to the Moreland Road derby for Altona East vs Cairnlea, because the food is better at Paisley Park and it was clearly less hassle to get to and from. East scored a penalty early on, received for one of the home team's players having his nose obliterated from his face. Then it was pretty even for a while, and Cairnlea scored from a penalty of their own early in the second half. Then Altona East responded via their forward who looks like Gomer Pyle from Full Metal Jacket, who only has a left foot and no other redeeming qualities (even his nickname of 'Chippy' - because he likes chips - is kinda lame) scored with a well placed shot from the edge of the box (his second goal of the day), and then with the game in the balance, and with his back to goal and with three defenders around him somehow weaseled his way out of that rabbit hole and put in the most delightful cross for 3-1, and then after that it was all a bit of a rout, finishing 5-1.

Final thought
Our last three league matches have been against North Geelong (14th), Dandenong Thunder (13th) and Werribee City (12th). Next two weeks are Bentleigh (1st) and Heidelberg (3rd). I think we're going to learn a lot about where we're at very quickly.

Just made it - Werribee City 1 South Melbourne 2

Waiting in the car park for 20 minutes for the delayed Steve from Broady at Newport station meant getting to the outskirts of Galvin Park with only about five minutes until kickoff in the senior game. Parking a good half kilometre down the road was made worse when one South bloke known to us here at South of the Border managed to rock up and nab a space near the old front gate. At Galvin Park itself, once we walked past the various cricket finals being played, it looked like space had been cleared and fenced off for the construction of something new, but I'm not sure we needed to be forced to go around an extra 50 metres to get in to a makeshift entrance. One bloke looking to pay to get in almost handed me ten bucks by accident.

Even if there was no sign of the stand they're planning to build on the outer side - and who are we to judge, we who've been missing a social club for nearly five years now - at least the scaffolding was already set up by the home club this time. A couple of blokes recommend the chicken schnitzel burger, which while not containing any mayo, is apparently a nice thick piece of bird, with a flavourful crumb - and best of all, no need to wait, as they have them ready and waiting. Ten minutes later Gains and I are still waiting for them to make the schnitzel rolls, so at least they're fresh, but watching the game through the canteen's window, covered by a protective metal grill, is hardly ideal, but useful as training run for when my one remaining working retina decides to give up the ghost.

It was nearly impossible to tell what the hell was going on for those first five or ten minutes, but at least the roll once made was good, even if it wasn't as herbed and spiced as I'd been lead to believe, which could have been another in the long list of life's disappointments, except for the fact that it only costs $6 and chicken schnitzels rolls are usually terrible, having sat in a bain marie for five hours with the crumbing going soggy and the processed chicken tasting like a discarded piece of rubber.

Getting to a game late throws me right off its rhythm, and it took me a little while to realise that Tim Mala had gone off injured in the first five minutes, replaced by Andy Kecojevic who went into midfield while Bonel 'Bones' Obradovic slotted into Mala's right back spot. Apparently we'd been on the back foot early on, but we seemed to have wrested control of this game from that point on.

Now short corners, Yes, we scored off of one, and I tell you one of the reasons this happened - because unlike our usual routines of making it completely obvious that we were going to take a short corner - usually playing to just in front of the corner flag - it was played quickly to the edge of the 18 yard box, where Iqi Jawadi's shot managed to somehow elude everyone and go into the back of the net for hist first goal in an official South game.

Fantastic, great result for both Iqi and short corners. Of course, as Homer Simpson once noted, a short corner is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another short corner! So of course we tried another of these later in the game, same routine and all - unfortunately we coughed the ball up, and because we had over committed players forward, had only ten fit players on the park anyway, Werribee shot the ball down the other end when it would have been better for us to play more conservatively.

But all that happened much later. Nick Epifano who was working hard got fair fair reward for effort when he was fed through on goal and chipped the ball over the keeper with a first time shot. A goal from a short corner and someone scoring for us without needing to take fifteen million touches. What a day this was turning out to be. 2-0 up at the break and all sorts of miraculous things happening. Unfortunately Kristian 'Gonzo' Konstantinidis had to go off with an in jury he picked up late in the first half, and thus Michael Eagar had to go back from defensive mid into centreback.

While we managed to keep creating breaks going forward, we started tiring - a persistent problem which we all hope will be gradually overcome as the season wears on, with us needing to peak later this year rather than right at the start - and Werribee starting winning the midfield battle. Leigh Minopoulos was brought as fresh legs but struggled, Obradovic started to lose his way a bit in his unfamiliar role, and Kecojevic started cramping up with no subs left and 20 odd minutes to play.

The home team scored to make things worse, and if not for Michael Eagar's heroics in defense, clearing time and time again, we wouldn't have been able to hold on for all three points. Even with with Eagar's desperate efforts though, we had to rely on the crossbar to save us in the 94th minute of the game, with the relevant Werribee player first exultant and then devastated that his effort failed to hit the mark.

Very impressive performance by @KecojevicAndy in the @Smfc win today pic.twitter.com/0NWyillyvO
— NPL Vic Football (@NPLVic_Football) March 8, 2015

Considering the injuries we copped, the re-shuffling required, and effectively playing with only ten men for the last 20 minutes or so, I'm stoked we got the three points. Fitness is still an issue for the tine being, but there was more evidence that the team is beginning to gel. I was especially pleased to see how Kecojevic scarcely looked out of place in a senior game.

Next week
We enter the Dockerty Cup - or FFA Cup qualifiers to those of you who are part of the FFV (and lizard people, natch) conspiracy to deflate the importance of the Dockerty Cup. We'll be playing State League 3 team Whittlesea United, who pulled off a 3-2 upset against State League 1's Clifton Hill. The date and time are yet to be confirmed, but this will be an interesting affair not only to see which depth players get more of a go, but also because former South NSL and VPL championship winner, the much loved Tansel Baser, is the Whittlesea United captain.

Teach a man to fish...
There's been a little bit of discussion recently over the FFV's decision to provide video cameras to every NPL club in order for them to film their games and provide the footage for a weekly online compilation. Those on the negative side seem to be of the opinion that as the footage from most of those games comes across as unprofessional, that rather than enhancing the product for luring potential sponsors, it actually damages the game.

I can certainly see the validity in such thinking. The footage provided so far in the NPL1 highlights packages in particular varies from the very good to the abjectly dire. A lot of this is clearly down to who's operating the camera on any given day, and I would have hoped (though I don't know for sure) that merely giving the cameras to the clubs was not the end point, but that FFV may also supplement that with some sort of training. But some of the problems with the quality of the footage fall outside individual camera operators. How many times have even those clubs who have funded their own video productions (South, Knights, Hume, etc) been hampered by the lack of suitable media facilities, such as basic scaffolding creating an elevated vantage point? Or being unable to get clear footage - and this goes for photographers as well - because the lighting isn't up to scratch?

@PaulMavroudis I hate it for the same reason
— Pave Jusup (@PaveJusup) March 8, 2015

While some have called for the hiring of professional videographers to undertake this task, I am of the opposite opinion. By giving the clubs the basic tools - and that would ideally include some training - it provides the opportunity for the clubs and some of their members themselves to learn new skills. This is not merely about outsourcing the problem to someone else, but getting the clubs to take responsibility for their own promotion. The clubs that take the time to make the most of the opportunity will hopefully get the most out of it, while those who don't will mostly be hurting themselves.

Finally, the call for a return of a weekly live video streamed game, while well intentioned, seems to me to miss the point. Regardless of how much you publicise a live stream, the audience will be minuscule unless it's for a very high profile contest, something like last year's FFA Cup games. And whether or not live streaming actually manages to get an audience, the focus at this level of competition should be on getting people to games, paying money at the gate and spending at the canteen. More people at games also creates its own better atmosphere, encouraging people to come back the next time. Few people want to spend a couple of hours at a game with only a bunch of old men and the odd relative of a player; but if more people go to games, it by itself creates a more homely and exciting experience.

Around the grounds
They tried to make me the new Steve from Broady and failed.
The plan was to go with Cuddles to the Pascoe Vale – Northcote game at the revamped CB Smith Reserve with its infamous light tower in front of the grandstand, but when we heard that that Richmond was hosting Nunawading, we decided to head to Kevin Bartlett Reserve instead. The reasoning behind this decision was that we wanted to see whether all the stories about Nunawading – playing out from the back at all times, and not taking any shots – were true, and whether former South player Anthony Giannopoulos – a player who loves to shoot at first sight – would stick out like a sore thumb.

Well when we got to the parking area at Richmond, it started raining, and not wishing to risk having to stand in the rain all game, or hide on the social club, we decided to hoof it to Fawkner instead, and if we missed the first ten minutes, well, we probably wouldn't miss much would we?

Wrong. After slogging through Sydney Road with its pervasive smell of gyros and kebabs, getting through a Friday night booze and drug bus operation that was still setting up, but which had taken out two out of three lanes, and circling around for ten minutes trying to find a parking spot, updates on Twitter, Futbol24 and via a friend already at the ground, we found out that we'd missed not only the first four goals of the game – two each to Pascoe Vale and Northcote, both times the latter equalising – but also Giannopoulos giving Nunawading an early lead.

At least we got to see the fifth goal of the game which gave Northcote the lead for the first time that night. I'm not sure what's going on down there, with Hercules not even managing to get a front of shirt sponsor, but first and foremost it's about scoring goals, and Northcote did that better than Pascoe Vale in a thrilling game which completely died in the arse once Cuddles and I got there. I spent much time next to Kristian Konstantinidis in line at the canteen, and considering the rather good crowd decided to get a cevapi roll instead of wait forever for a pizza. Having finished said cevapi roll however, Andrew Mesorouni's kid and Leo Athanasakis' kid rock up with several boxes of the famous woodfired pizza, and I somehow ended up scoffing down most of one, and being saddled with another. But a man has to know his limits!

It was also to good to finally meet Pascoe Vale president Lou Tona in the flesh, who was surprised that I wasn't fatter. Yes, South of the Border, the Australian soccer blog most dedicated to the cause of the wallflower, can also occasionally find itself among the movers and shakers. But never fear, we are still of the people! For the people! By me, and whoever else wants to write for us! The key to selling out of course is to sell when your price is high. Only time will tell whether a ride to and from Lara and a few boxes of pizza - and a can Pepsi, we can't forget that - was worth the price, or whether I'm just a really cheap date.

Final thought
Those shotput people at Lakeside can heave those balls a fucken long way.

Still seven points ahead - South Melbourne 4 Werribee City 0

This report was late due to a game of Pathfinder being played at my house (and in Singapore and London), and afterwards supposedly meeting people for coffee, neither of which I participated in directly; it's a long story.

The sun shines, but the rain falls down over Lakeside
prior to the under 20s match. Photo: Gains.

While watching the under 20s yesterday, I did have one eye on what was going at Oakleigh vs Pascoe Vale via Twitter, even as my phone battery rapidly declined. The 3-0 result to Oakleigh cut the margin between us back to four points, so as has been the case for most of the second half of the season, it was time for us to respond to whatever result Oakleigh threw up at us.

It was important though to also respond to the poor performance we put in midweek against Bentleigh, and Chris Taylor seemed to throw caution to the wind with some of his selections. Jamie Reed coming in for Leigh Minopoulos and Iqi Jawadi coming back from suspension for Matthew Theodore were kinda obvious; but the replacement of Jason Saldaris with Chris Maynard in goals was a daring move this late in the season.

Saldaris, who has recently been the recipient of a form of bronx chanting from Clarendon Corner, who have been applauding him for completing even regulation goalkeeper actions, seems to have finally lost the confidence of Taylor. Thus Maynard, who as far as I can remember has played just one match this season - the 4-1 Dockerty Cup win away to Berwick City - was starting his first league game in quite some time.

Would he be as alert as a keeper who'd played week in, week out? Would he stuff up his long awaited chance at the no. 1 spot? We'll have to wait at least another week for the answer to those questions, because he had very little to do in this match, as Werribee struggled to even get one shot on target during the game. While this made it easier for us on the day, it also had the effect of making me doubt that they could get a point against Oakleigh in the next round. And while those who say our destiny is in our hands are correct - three wins from our four remaining games will seal the title - it wouldn't hurt our cause if Oakleigh dropped some points along the way.

South came out of blocks looking pretty fired up creating, several chances and breaking apart Werribee's defence if not quite at will, then relatively comfortably, but in echoes of the midweek game there had been no goal in the opening half hour and my thoughts started to head towards the possibility of Werribee pinching a goal from somewhere. That turned out not to be the case however. First Reed scored from a penalty just after half an hour, after Nick Epifano had been felled, then Milos Lujic scored twice just before halftime as the visitors' defence crumbled. The game was as good as over.

A white curtain of rain pours down on Lakeside during the
second half of the senior match. Photo: Gains.

That we could only manage the one goal after halftime (by Epifano) was disappointing, because it just may come down to goal difference at the end of the campaign, and this was as good a chance as any to start closing the gap to Oakleigh's superior goal difference. Every little bit counts.

The crowd at the game was also poor, which can partly be blamed on the weather, but I think is also due to the late kickoff time. Where once I had no specific preference for one kickoff time over another on a Sunday, I'm kinda getting over the 5:00pm starts. Is it the general malaise affecting crowds across the board in the NPL, and even state leagues games (the Eastern Lions - Mornington game [see below] also got a lower attendance than I had anticipated)? Whatever the cause of the low attendance - and it's not like I'm expecting miraculous attendances ten years after the end of our NSL heyday - it's disappointing that we can't pull a few more people to games now that we're actually doing half well. It also means dinner gets eaten much later than I'd like now that I'm almost halfway to being a senior citizen, but it also means that I miss out on listening to one of our club representatives on 3XY, especially now that we're all friends again.

So, after all that, still seven points clear. Four games to go for us, five games to go for Oakleigh.

Next game
Dandenong Thunder away on Saturday night. After a good start to the season they've fallen down towards the bottom end of ladder, but they did manage to win away at Ballarat on the weekend to all but make sure they'll avoid relegation. Alan Kearney got red carded in that game though, so that will be a useful out as far as we're concerned, unless his replacement comes in plays a blinder.

Did you know?
That under 20s defender Sammy Kagioglou is apparently the grandson of 1960s championship goalkeeper Sam Kagioglou? That's pretty cool.

Looking forward to the final round
It's still over a month away, but people are already starting to look forward to our final round match against Goulburn Valley Suns in Shepparton, still very much a potential title decider. In particular, people are thinking about travel arrangements. Since the trains are a manifestly inconvenient option for this game, I've asked the club about whether they'll organise a bus - their initial response is that they're not sure at this stage, but will inform everyone closer to the date of any arrangements.

I am so precious, it hurts
At the Bentleigh game the other day, I had it out (in typically mild fashion) with the person behind the @smfcmike Twitter account, initially asking him to just ease off the caps lock as a starting point. I even half joked that I was *this* close to blocking him. But that's why they call it a half joke, because I actually followed through with it. It's meant that some Twitter discussions I follow are now distorted, but it's a price I'm willing to to pay for a little bit more sanity.

The actor leaves the stage, but the play continues
It's weird seeing Shoot Farken still going after my involvement. How can this be? What I mean to say is, that despite the Heavy Sleep world cup articles I'd written for them, I forgot to add their link on the side panel. So, there it is now. At the moment they're looking at the Melbourne International Film Festival.

Around the grounds
Junk Dilemmas Round 22 (with apologies to Irvine Welsh)
I could sit at home and do nothing, just like most of the Friday nights of my life. Or, like the addict who can't stay away from their one vice, I could go to a lower league soccer match, again. The choice tonight is between Richmond hosting Avondale Heights, or going to Port and watching them take on the Knights. Informed by an irrational hatred of Avondale Heights, I choose the latter. The universe tries to conspire against me getting to the game on time. The parking at Newport station is packed, so I end up parking some distance away. The train I want to catch is delayed because of a VLine train. The myki gate at Flinders Street station reckons I haven't touched on, but there's no staff member at the Elizabeth St exit to help me exit the gate, and my lack of athletic ability and my acquiescence to effects of the implied panopticon prevents me from jumping the gate. After I circle around and exit via the platform 1 exit, I walk past the Elizabeth Street exit towards Banana Alley, and notice that the fat woman I saw walking up the stairs as I began doubling back was actually a staff member. Her black uniform, which I afterwards described thusly,

Good choice by @metrotrains to dress their staff in black, makes it easy to distinguish them from the 1% of Melburnians who don't wear black
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) August 8, 2014

and her lack of urgency in climbing the stairs fools me into thinking that she's merely another pleb public transport user. Still, when everything else can go wrong, you can trust Port Melbourne's gate attendant crew to provide speedy and fuss free entrance to the venue for those like myself who possess the appropriate paperwork. The game itself is a bore. The most exciting to happen is watching a couple of blokes from MCF attempt to punch on with each other, with their mates in the middle copping collateral damage as they try to separate the pair. Security try to calm the situation, and it seems to do the trick. There are many possible lessons to take out of this situation. One is the slightly coarse, 'talk shit, get hit'. Another lesson might well be that if you keep pushing someone's buttons, they may eventually snap. Perhaps don't be involved in spreading pernicious rumours, which is all well and good except for the fact that I was doing much the same yesterday. Many other observations were also made about contemporary young male Croatian-Australian social identity, but I haven't gone through the Victoria University ethics department to get clearance for any of that. Knights won the game 1-0. The bus goes past five minutes earlier since the timetable reformat, so I miss it, and I get home at midnight instead of 11:30.

Burwood or Balwyn or Bentleigh or Boronia
Several weeks ago I agreed to go to Eastern Lions vs Mornington with Ian Syson, in anticipation that these two sides would be first first and second on the State League 1 South-East table. That's the way they came into this game, with the Lions being four points clear at the top. First time out at Gardiners Creek Reserve, and it's a nice set up with several grounds and nice seating in the shed, but they must have one of the largest budgets for match balls in the state with the creek being so close by. Now it must be noted that I was in a surly sort of mood, (though to be fair, I've been in a surly sort of mood for a while now), and I was therefore determined not to enjoy this game. The first half helped in that in ragard, in that it failed to live up to expectation with few if any chances, let alone quality passages of play. The visitors, who had edged proceedings in the opening 45 minutes, managed to jag a goal late to take lead at halftime. I got to meet Steven Gray of Football Chaos fame during the break, though of course he had to rush off to film the second half. The second half saw the Lions equalise early, though not without some controversy, with there being uncertainty about whether the ball had crossed the line. The game then continued in much the same way as the first half, but eventually Mornington got on top with the Lions barely being able to get out of their own half of the field - including from goalkicks - though it was almost all half chances. Then shock of shocks, the Lions managed to score a late winner - after having played for the draw, they managed to get the win. These things happen.

Final thought
A fellow supporter and I agreed yesterday that Law and Order: Special Victims Unit has completely gone down the toilet. I don't care about the detectives' personal lives, just give me 35 implausible twists, more 'can you enhance that' moments than you can poke a stick at, and the usual cavalcade of sickos that get their comeuppance while I shake my fist at the TV.