Heroes and Villains - South Melbourne 3 Northcote City 2 (after extra time)

This was a game that had nearly everything. It was characterised by open, attacking football from both sides. There were red cards, there was blood, and there were heroes and villains in abundance. And there was even mass confusion on more than one occasion.

There was tension on and off the field, both during and after the game. If you weren't there, or if you left early for whatever strange reason, then you missed one of the more entertaining games you're likely to see this season. The good thing is, I suppose, that you can catch up on at least some of the goodness on SMFC TV.

The other good thing is that we won.

Call of the year so far
Directed towards the Northcote goalkeeper, who was wearing a fluoro green jersey and shorts, with black socks: 'You look like a highlighter!'

A false start of sorts
Northcote launched a free kick into the box, and saw it headed home, for what looked like on first impression a legitimate goal. But the linesman on the far side had raised his flag straight away, and the effort was disallowed. To be honest, I can't really say for sure either way - my hunch however is that it was a goal. I'm not sure the video will be conclusive, but we'll see.


Taken from Shauen Kelly's Twitter feed.


There will be blood
While the officiating was often pedantic, some of the players didn't do themselves any favours. Shaun Kelly's head was busted open halfway through the first half, and blood poured forth from the wound. He soldiered on, with the kind of bandaging that every well proper central defender wears with pride. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to continue, and was soon replaced by Matko Budimir.

That wasn't the end of the carnage though. About 30 minutes in, Alan Kearney, having his first start after several weeks off with injury - although he did come off the bench last week - was sent off for an off the ball incident with a Northcote player, who was also sent off.

Northcote were the better side in the opening half, and seemed to adjust to the more open spaces better than South, often finding wide men in space. This was especially so on our left hand side. Any hope of surviving until halftime at 0-0 and then re-organising went out the window when Northcote justly opened the scoring, with Milos Lujic tucking away the mess of South's attempt to clear their lines.

The second half
It's fair to say that we were the better team for the majority of the match from this point onward. This is not to discredit Northcote, who still kept looking for their second goal, but the stats in this case are perhaps a little misleading. While we didn't get that many shots on goal, the fact is that we should have. Our counter attacks in particular went unrewarded so often that it was maddening. Our refusal to shoot was only part of the problem - the major issue was not even being able to hit a proper cross where a striker could run on to it. The balls into the box would elude literally everyone, like, literally. 

At last though, Rhys Meredith cut in and curled his shot around the keeper from the right, and it was 1-1, and the game's momentum was clearly with us. We kept peppering away, and subs were even made before the 85th minute -Trent Rixon off and Andy Vlahos on turned out to be a pretty important decision. Fernando De Moraes also got onto the field, to a massive cheer from the faithful, though I'm not sure if he or the coaching staff were expecting him to end up playing 50 minutes rather than a pinch hit 20 at the end.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
I reckon Peter Gavalas has had a very good season. So much so, it's like having an entirely new recruit. And in this game, he actually played well, coming off his line and making some fancy diving saves, until late on during regular time when he tried being way too fancy at exactly the wrong place and time. His attempt to play around James Kalafatidis failed dismally, and gifted Northcote the easiest of finishes for 2-1.

At that point we were all having horrible flashbacks to 2012. Thankfully, for everyone's sake, Andy Vlahos, probably the shortest player on the field, somehow got onto the end of a free kick launched into the box and headed it home. And believe it or not, that's when this game started getting really interesting.

And it finishes 2-2, we'll see you again next week...
A lot of people at the game didn't seem to realise that this was a cup match, and that as a cup match in the modern era, we were not going to have an infinite amount of replays until we had a winner. Maybe some people were walking out to have a cigarette, or put some extra coins into the parking meter, but somehow I very much doubt it.

Fence runs ain't what they used to be. Photo: Gains.

Great, who's he going to cross it to...
... because to me it seemed like there was no one in the area waiting for the pass. And then Brad Norton, perhaps my favourite much maligned South player of recent times, appears to me as if he's come out of nowhere to put it away and give us the lead for the first time in this match. Cue a fence run of all things, with people running out of the grandstand to revive this once great tradition.
And then the scoreboard shenanigans started. Among the many mistakes - which included an out of synch match clock and listing all the South scorers as 'Goal' - was having Northcote leading 3-2. It did confuse one of the South fans near us who had gone out for a smoke.

There were five in the bed, and the little one said...
This cup tournament allows you to make up to to five substitutions, which is a bizarre sort of situation. It did lead however to Anthony Giannopoulos finally making his senior debut. Long time readers of this blog will recall us banging on about giving this kid a go to the point where people got absolutely fed up, and then we stopped doing it for the good of everyone. 

Fix the scoreboard! Photo: Gains.

 Now I admit that I do know the lad, although I only see him on match days, when he greets me with a 'hey, Juniper', which then leads into a Hattrick discussion. While we've never believed he's been the best thing since sliced bread, all of us of a certain ilk at South Melbourne who have watched him for years, both in underage competitions and at Clarendon Corner social football, are stoked that he's finally reached this milestone, playing for the club he loves.

We're just as glad that he didn't get sent off - though it was nervous times when he while standing over a fallen opponent and giving him the death stare!

Post match follies
Did Peter Gavalas flip the bird at the supporters, or was he putting his hand up in acknowledgement of his blunder? Who do we play next, is it Preston? Don't know for the former. Yes to the latter. Waiting for all conmspiracy theorists to appear in 3... 2... 1...

New segment!
One of our readers, identifying themselves only as 'Manny', has sent us this comic as a first offering. Now he's not promising that it will be a regular feature, but I'm glad that someone with the even merest hint of an artistic bent has offered us their services. That brings the current number of regular contributors on this blog up to four, which is kinda insane when you think about it. Any good suggestions about what to call this series are also welcome. It was sent to us last week, so if it feels a little out of date, that's completely our fault.

Around the grounds
I was at the Clifton Park synthetic pitch on Saturday afternoon. Somehow the Moreland City - Clifton Hill match was only the second best cup classic I got to see this week. Footage by Football Chaos. By the way, while I've not seen much of Clifton Hill's goalkeeper Mason Interlandi, what I have seen of him suggest to me that he won't be a state league 2 keeper for too much longer.



Tonight
The Socceroos play Jordan at Docklands. Myself and Gains will be at the opposite end of the stadium to the newly formed and FFA approved Australian home end group 'Terra Australis', but if you do somehow see us in the crowd, do come and say hello.

Next week
Melbourne Knights at home. There's talk that some chap named Ljubo might be starting for them.

Final thought

Congrats to @smfc today, a great game. Well done to our boys, ready to get back on track in the #VPL this weekend! #Northcote
— Northcote City FC (@NorthcoteCity) June 10, 2013

Round 5 Dockerty Cup Preview - South vs Northcote

Pretty big game. Undefeated Northcote, against a half decent South.

Bah, who am I kidding? It's a nothing game.

No one is even talking about on field stuff any longer. The forums are clogged with NPLV talk. And why wouldn't they be?

Still no word from South about an EGM to see whether the membership endorses the matter. Wouldn't it be funny if the expanded voter franchise, which now includes parents and season ticket holders, chose to defeat this scheme?

Well, it'd be funnier than them approving it. But then again, we haven't workshopped that idea yet, so we haven't seen how test audiences will react. Maybe we can add in the laugh track regardless.

This whole thing has become such a farce that I'm not even taking the South hatred personally any more. I mean, it's hilarious that South has been mocked for years about our now shitty crowds, about our not being the 'real' South Melbourne, about being a just another suburban team.

But apparently the anti-NPLV crew can't launch meaningful opposition without South's involvement. It appears that if we're nothing, we're a strange kind of nothing. Dark Matter South Melbourne? Anti-Matter South Melbourne? Un-Real South Melbourne?

The good thing is, we could use those as part of our NPLV application as well, seeing as how we have to come up with three names in the event that, Allah willing, the FFV encourages our juniors to ditch us and move along.

The FFV must be pissing themselves. They're winning the propaganda war almost by default. They get 44 expressions of interest for their NPLV, while the naysayers just sit there and whinge on internet forums.

It's classic divide and conquer, and we're all falling for it. Even better, we're back to breakaway league talk, which is always fantastic. Meanwhile, whichever side of this issue we happen to fall on, we still get to be called recalcitrants by people who for the most part have never cared about senior football below the top tier.

Anyway, back to the Dockerty Cup game. I'm not expecting to win for some reason. No Van Eeken makes the team look pretty different, less mobile. Regardless of the result, the best thing is that after this match, we get to do it all again in a couple of weeks anyway.

Still, if we win, that would be a good thing, as it means we're one step closer to maybe winning a trophy that's not a pre-season competition. It might even mean being paired up against our old friends Preston, which could mean all sorts of other hilarity.

But one step at a time I think.

One Life And It's All Politics - Pascoe Vale 0 South Melbourne 0

A disappointing result to say the least. Did we drop two points in the first half? We were well on top even before Pascoe Vale's red card in the 8th minute for a head butt on Brad Norton. And we blew several chances to take the lead, perhaps the worst miss of the lot going to Trent Rixon, who pulled his shot wide with the goal beckoning, missing the target by about two metres. But still, that first half was only missing a goal from us, and didn't foreshadow the lackluster second half to come.

Norton got a sore head, his opponent a red card. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

Indeed the second half resembled what in footy speak might be called circle work, running and passing and keeping the ball without doing much with it. When we did choose to move it quickly, we either miss hit our passes, or were reticent in taking on opponents and trying to get into the box. There was an issue also in delaying putting in crosses. And despite having an extra man for 82 minutes, it was sometimes hard to tell where that extra man advantage was. Brad Norton was perhaps the serial offender on both of these last two fronts.

Credit must go to Peter Gavalas. Though he had very little do throughout the evening, he saved the day right at the death when Pascoe Vale threatened to steal the win. While it hurts to not win that game, I get the feeling that last year we would have lost this match. The turnaround in Gavalas' form has been a big part of our better season to this point.

The home team celebrated a hard earned point, while we walked out of the ground incredibly frustrated. There are still questions about Tsolakis' tactical decisions. But the earth keeps turning, and the focus must now move on to next week. At least we got to see Alan Kearney get on the field and get some game time. And we got our first clean sheet in several weeks, for those who care about such things. So disappointing, yes, but not a complete disaster.

As for the ex-South boys at Pascoe Vale... Joseph Yousseff was out injured. Stefaan Sardelic perhaps wasn't tested as much as he should have been - except from Rhys Meredith, who clattered into him in the first half - but otherwise didn't put a foot wrong. His ground kicking still leaves a lot to be desired though. Jake Vandermey, like the rest of the Pascoe Vale defence, rode out the storm of the first half onslaught before putting in a very steady performance when South ran out of ideas. Apparently Marco Santilli - a member of the 2006 Crazy Johns Cup final winning team, where he was one of the goal scorers - was also out there. Shows how observant I am.

Hosken Reserve
Only been there the once previously, several years ago for a state league two north/west match between Pascoe Vale and Altona East, and what a fantastic game that was.

Pascoe Vale 2 Altona East 1

Right team won on the day, no doubt about it. Paco kicking with a strong wind in the first half dominated, a great goal from about 25-30 metres out leaving them 1-0 up at the break. 2nd half was everything you'd want from a top of the table clash, with East really getting into the game and equalising only for Paco to take back the lead within 5 minutes. Some send offs and wasted chances at both ends, with the Paco keeper pulling out some great saves. Paco best team I've seen over the past couple of seasons at this level.

Gains and me got off at Merlynston station, and like the Zoroastrian magi of that familiar myth, followed the light (tower) in the sky, albeit this was a dimmer object than those Persian would have followed. So dim in fact that I was a bit worried that the lights wouldn't be up to scratch, and when we got there, it didn't look too good. But when all the lights were turned it was adequate, if not spectacular.

SMFCTV cameraman Tim Dovas acknowledges the crowd. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

In terms of the food, the pizza was actually pretty damn good (I'll let Steve from Broady gush over the food), but there was no chinotto to go with the pizza, and I had to settle for a blood orange soda. But you can't have everything I suppose. A ground worth taking into consideration when pondering which game to see. Like other venues without a hill, the viewing isn't great when the crowd gets more than one deep along the fence. Not sure how good the video footage will be either, considering there was light pole in front of the scaffolding used for filming.

Around the Grounds
How much soccer is too much soccer? I think I got close to finding out the answer this weekend.

First Stop: Jack's Place
Thank goodness for Steve from Broady, who made the right choice on Friday night's offerings. I was all up for going to Richmond vs Green Gully, in the superstitious belief that Richmond were 'due' for a win. That game got washed out with Richmond down 2-1. How the FFV will sort out that game will be interesting.

Instead we ended up at Oakleigh vs Hume. The under 21s match was a bit of a goalfest, 4-3 I think it finished to Hume, though I only caught the last half hour or so. The senior match was largely unspectacular for 60 odd minutes, Oakleigh doing nothing and Hume doing the simple things finding themselves 2-0 up. When Oaks unexpectedly pulled it back to 2-1, the game was on, and Oaks hit the post soon after. A backheel goal from a goal mouth scramble by the Hume striker variously dubbed 'Lurch' and 'Star 21' by some of the South faithful seemed to pretty much ice the game at 3-1, but Oaks kept coming. Then Hume's little no. 30, who was playing like it the pitch was bone dry, slipped past two defenders on the by line and cut it back for an easy to finish to someone or other. 4-2 it finished to Hume, who are on a bit of a roll now, while Oakleigh under Miron Bleiberg are going nowhere fast.

From about 6:00pm onwards the rain didn't stop. It slowed down at times, bucketed down at others. Steve from Broady was disappointed, because he wanted to stand next to the Oakleigh bench and listen to Bleiberg. It got very interesting when the thunder and lightning got real close to the ground, the thunder rippling through the covered terrace at Jack Edwards Reserve, so close you could feel it in your belly, and so loud that I couldn't hear the footy match that I had on my earphones. The ground held up well though, and at least we were able to finish the game.

Second Stop - Xavier vs Melbourne Grammar
I'd been asked several times by a friend to come watch some sport at Xavier, as part of the continuing tradition of alienation that we love on this blog. I had been asked to go to a cricket match - against their main rivals St Kevins - to get the more authentic experience, but life had gotten in the way.

The tram goes uphill from the corner of Collins and Spring. It also flies along the avenues. That's a crucial part of the experience. Most of my tram experiences have been laboured affairs, meandering in a stop/start fashion through the inner suburbs.  After ending up a lot further on than I was supposed to, and making a wrong turn into some sort of car park - I eventually made it to the proper gate to see a match already in progress. The field the soccer was being played on was nearest to Barkers Road, which at least made it easier to find. The different fields apparently had names as well - at my high school the oval was simply 'the oval'. There were large puddles on the other side of the field, but otherwise the ground had held up well.

As a novice to such carnival style sports days - my two year stint at the Corporate Games excluded - I suffered from an acute case of sensory overload. There were two Aussie rules games being played adjacent to the soccer match, as well as a rugby union game being played a little further on. Whistles and sirens, balls, crowds switching between different games. Add to that the large electronic scoreboard on the main footy ground - which also of course has a little grandstand. Even the traffic is captivating, and I normally couldn't give a stuff about cars except as a way of getting from point A to point B. Looking around, just about every car is new. In contrast, I reckon that there's three 1989 Toyoto Camrys on my street alone.

Xavier's soccer team was playing host to Melbourne Grammar. I had been promised a higher calibre of football, with neat, crisp passing. Instead, thanks to the weather, I got something else entirely. There were some pretty poor sliding tackles in this match, with players not taking into account the slippery conditions. What made this more interesting is that as a whole, the game wasn't actually very physical. This was especially in the moments where I expected it to be almost inevitable, where the ball got stuck in one of the puddles on the other side of the ground, and yet more often than not players were able to extricate them out of the lakes without too much opposition interference.

Grammar looked the better team when I got there early in the first half, playing a bit more direct. Xavier were playing a style that was too fancy for the conditions, and found themselves 3-1 down at half time. Still, Xavier came out the stronger team in the second half, and managed to pull it back to 3-2 early on, only to then not to do very much for the rest of the match. And then almost out of nowhere, they won a late, late penalty. The sideline cheered in celebration. The young man who had scored both of Xavier's goals stepped up to the spot, aiming for both the equaliser and his hat-trick. Of course he skied the shot about five metres over the crossbar, to the unbridled joy of the Grammar players and supporters.

The whistle blew, and the Grammar team sang out their school song with gusto in the middle of the field. School pride was always a nebulous, even fruity concept where I came from. Concepts such as alumni associations are anathema to a system where people can't wait to get out and hope to never see 95% of the people you were forced to be with. We also didn't have a school song as far as I can remember, so hearing something like that roared out was fascinating and also disturbing, but I suppose that's all part of the culture shock that I had experienced.

We don't often talk about social politics on this blog, because frankly, I don't think that's what our audience is interested in, and I also don't think that our audience is particularly interested in my poorly constructed pseudo-anarchist ramblings in particular. But there was something undeniably wrong about the scenario, where a community which is that privileged, and seeks to create an insular environment, while priding itself on its 'independence' and which has so much more than my old high school could ever have had, could possibly want even more from the taxpayer?

This is not about the politics of envy. It's about a bizarre social experiment that's been created, that is supposed to include, in Xavier's case at least, social justice, but who can't even stomach playing against its poor Catholic brethren, instead aligning itself with other wealthy Protestant schools. It's about how in attempting to stay relevant, public schools like mine have had to become marketing machines, trying desperately to mimic the aesthetic tropes of the private school system.

It's probably not fair to come into such a situation, with all my lower middle class western suburbs prejudices, and then come out of a mere two hour experience with all the answers. When I did take that detour into the car park, I was faced by cyclone fencing and barbed wire. Why was my immediate reaction to think that at a public school, this would be used to keep people in, but at an elite private school this would be used to keep people out?

Like I said, they are some poorly constructed ramblings. It was a relief to get out of there though, and head to a place that seemed a bit more grounded in reality.

Third Stop - Campbell Reserve

A sample of Moreland's shirt collection. Photo: Gains.

The overnight downpour did put into doubt whether the third leg on my Friday/Saturday football journey would go ahead, as Moreland City's Campbell Reserve is more likely than most grounds to turn into a swamp at the first hint of deluge.

On arrival at the ground, there was no action at all. The reserves match was postponed at Campbell Reserve, but luckily the senior match would go ahead.

I like Moreland City. I don't blame them for being able to get away with having four different ethnic symbols on their jersey (leek, thistle, clover and rose), and not receiving flack from anyone for it. That's the fault of Australian culture who don't think of these symbols as ethnic, or at least not in a negative way, and the soccer authorities who are supposed to be on top of all these issues. I also love straining my neck looking up at the soccer jersey collection that adorns the ceiling of their social club. And it's always a treat to hear the banter directed towards the visiting team's goalkeeper from behind the goals.

Moreland City have been one of the form teams in state 2 north/west this season, but conceded a heavy defeat at Preston the week before. Altona East have won one match all season. It didn't start well for East, falling 2-0 behind early on. They pulled one back, but soon conceded again. East weren't really in the game, but won a lucky penalty - they should have scored from the same play anyway - and made the score 3-2. It should have been 3-3 soon afterwards, but instead Moreland piled on the next three goals, and it finished 5-2, although the official records say 5-3. If I missed a goal, I'm not sure where that happened.

Steve from Broady's Canteen Report
On Saturday evening I ventured down to Pascoe Vale's ground Hosken Reserve. There was a lot of hype about their canteen, so I was expecting big things and I can confirm big things is what I got. A wood fire oven cooking some very good pizzas was unbelievable to see at a VPL venue - perfectly cooked, not burned, not an overload of topping - it was awesome. Inside was another canteen with food that was not as good as the pizzas but let's be honest, nothing could live up to those pizzas. After assessing both canteens at the venue I must without a doubt award Pascoe Vale's canteen a perfect 10 and encourage all VPL fans to get around this canteen for the rest of the season.

1. Pascoe Vale 10/10
2. Hume City 8/10
3. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
4. Southern Stars 2/10
5. Green Gully 1/10
6. Dandenong DQ

South food truck

• Week 1 - 4.5/10
• Week 2 - 7/10 

The Pitfalls of Taking Public Transport 
In the morning while taking the 48 tram, stop 26 became stop 32 in the space of about five seconds. Not cool when I wanted to get off at stop 29. In the evening, after traipsing through the mud of the Hosken Reserve carpark and hoofing it uphill to Batman station, we missed the train by about 30 seconds. Still, I managed to catch the 10:07 to Werribee, and didn't need to top up on the day either. Twenty-two cents left on my myki card.

Next Week
Queen's Birthday Monday Dockerty Cup game against Northcote. At least they've finally stumbled.

Flaaaaaaaaaaaaanders. Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanders.

One of our friends at the game needs to come up with more than one line to yell out over the 90 minutes of play. One of our readers who was at the game suggested that this person needed a Jewish writer, and I think he also suggested the image on the right as an obtuse way of making that point.

In addition, if you want to submit photo or picture suggestions for upcoming posts, send them to  blackmissionary@hotmail.com and I'll see if I can make them relate to the topic somehow. Cartoon related references preferred.

Final Thought
It was good to meet Bill, Jake Vandermey's old man. Always nice to put a face to a name.

Kiss of Death, Round 8, 2013

Oakleigh Cannons vs Hume City @ Jack Edwards on Friday @ 8.30pm
Oakleigh take on Hume on Friday night, in what is a must win if they are to have any chance of finals football. They looked very poor on Sunday vs South Melbourne, and they should’ve copped more than two. Miron Bleiberg continually put his hands on his face in reaction to the way his side was attempting to do anything. They just couldn’t do anything right. The same can be said for their season so far. Hume on the other hand are getting the results they need in order to still have a sniff. Oakleigh will beat Hume convincingly with a score that will surprise everyone. If they start that new boy up front, they shouldn’t have a problem. Oakleigh Cannons 4 – Hume City 1.

Port Melbourne Sharts vs Southern Stars @ Port Melbourne on Friday @ 8.30pm
Well, well, well. Eric survives another week. They will beat Southern Stars, I mean these days who can’t beat Southern Stars. People shouldn’t get too excited however, as Southern Stars are the new whipping boys of the VPL for this season. Port Melbourne Sharts 4 – Southern Stars 0.

Richmond vs Green Gully Cavaliers @ KB Reserve on Friday @ 8.30pm
Richmond, Richmond, Richmond. FML. Will you ever win a game this season? Yes, yes, yes you will! This is the game to lift Richmond off the bottom of the table. They will beat a poor form Green Gully. Even though Richmond has the leakiest defence with 23 goals, they have actually scored two times more than Gully who don’t travel away from home too well. Being a Friday night, Gully will stumble hard. Richmond 3 – Green Gully 1.

Pascoe Vale vs South Melbourne @ Hosken Reserve on Saturday @ 7pm
The clash of all clashes. Pascoe Vale surprised everyone with a 0-2 win away at Dandenong last week, while South dispached Oakleigh with no real issues there. Apparently the best thing about Pascoe Vale is their canteen. Wood fired pizzas, souvlakis, cevapis, and a smorgasboard of tasty delights. I haven’t been there for about four years when they were in state league 2, but apparently things have changed. They might be a bit of a handful for South, who played well against Oakleigh, but I couldn’t get my head around some of Tsolakis’ decisions. Rixon is unfit, it’s flaming obvious. From the 60th minute onwards he was poor. He had a limp, didn’t challenge for balls in the air, was slow, and really, we were playing with 10 men from then on. Gus got the subs to warm up. He only made one change Petreski for Gasparis who copped a knock. Not making a sub nearly cost us the game. If Vlahos for example was to come on for Rixon, he would’ve turned an already shambolic Oakleigh defence upside down. But, instead we had to sit there and watch us hang on to a win which should’ve been more comfortable. But anyhoo, people say who cares we got the win. I say, a responsible coach makes changes which are required, especially when blind Freddy can see it. Too much faith in your players can be a detriment to your team. Cut out the mateship and play your best eleven.
Pascoe Vale 0 – South Melbourne 4.

Melbourne Knights vs Dandenong Thunder @ Knights Stadium on Sunday @ 3pm
The Knights this week face an up and down Dandy Thunder. The Knights will be on their high horse after releasing a press statement midweek confirming that they will NOT be applying for the new NPLV. I support this move as the NPLV is a piece of shit that needs to be canned. Melbourne Knights 3 – Dandy Thunder 1

Northcote City vs Bentleigh Greens @ Northcote on Sunday @ 3pm
The first time this season that Northcote will be tested. They have a few tough games coming up away from home. Bentleigh is playing really good football. Exciting to watch.  Northcote City 1 – Bentleigh Greens 2.

Finally what you have all been waiting for. My NPLV rant.
Seriously what a joke of an idea. To expect an ‘elite’ competition to kick off without the FFV putting their hands in their own pockets is a joke in itself. The clubs are the ones who will risk losing everything, all while the FFV does the ‘der um, hmm, ask an expert’ routine. Green Gully and the Melbourne Knights are the only two clubs who have gone public with their position and declared that they will NOT be applying for the NPLV. Good on them. They took this to their membership and they voted no. Other clubs which I won’t mention, think they don’t need to go to their membership and instead will take it to their members once they have been accepted by the FFV. Well what’s the fucken point then? I know how this tactic works. You tell the members you have been accepted, and how good it is, and the members being sheep will clap their hands, congratulate you all and pass the motion. Then the club will be royally fucked.

I am as anti-NPLV as the anonymous poster down below. Fuck the NPLV. It is to benefit no one other than certain footballing entities in the country. Why try and reinvent the wheel? It’s not corporate enough for you ? Football is not a corporate sport, it is a religion, and if you are a non-believer then fuck right off. We do not need the NPLV, and we do not need some suits in fancy offices trying to tell us what’s good for our game.

All this fear mongering about playing in the highest league possible, is a fucken joke. The sad thing is that people actually fall for that shit…

News Straight from the Corey Hotline

Dockerty Cup match against Northcote
It has been scheduled for Queens Birthday Monday - that is Monday, June 10, at 3:00. Bit of a shame, as I was lined up to do a guest report on another blog, which would have required my being at the Melbourne - Collingwood AFL game, but such is life. We'll be at South, of course, just in case anyone was in any doubt.

Knights officially out of NPLV, Green Gully follow suit
It was hardly a secret, but it was nice to see both these teams make it official. Knights put out a press release to go with it. While it's pretty obvious that the vast majority of clubs from the western suburbs have indicated they're not interested, unfortunately the local press here has focused more on the opinions of the coaches of teams such as Werrribee and Yarraville. I want to hear from their committees.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the Melbourne Knights for including South of the Border in their press release mail out. It made us feel closer to being a real journalist than any amount of FFV media passes ever could.

So who's in?
Surf Coast and Ballarat Red Devils look like they're putting their hand up. Some Geelong consortium is also apparently interested. Not sure about metro clubs, and that includes us. There was a rumour going around that we'd somehow actually managed to wrangle all of the concessions we'd wanted. Then there was an smfcboard rumour that we're ready to announce we're pulling out, supposedly to be release tomorrow evening. All that amid the confusion among our supporters, some of who are 100% anti, some reluctantly for, others who want to hedge their bets, and the rest just waiting to be told what to do.

Socceroos to train at Lakeside for Melbourne camp
How about that? Apparently some talk abut being able to register to meet them, whatever that means, though I'm not. Of course it's provided an opening for the jokesters

@smfc how come the socceroos don't train at the Melbourne Heart's facilities? Oh right, they don't have any...
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) May 28, 2013

Marvelous. So what I want to know is, are we in the A-League yet?

The Dimi Hatz Show - South Melbourne 2 Oakleigh 1

First up there was a minute's silence for Tony Toumbourou, who as was reported recently, passed away after a long illness.

Games between these two sides usually provide the goods in terms of a spectacle. The most notable exception to that off the top of my head would be the finals match we lost to them a couple of years ago. For my buddy Gains, it was a bit more obvious - the dour 0-0 draw at Lakeside in 2009 that was his first South Melbourne experience. Thankfully, this game had its fair share of action, and regardless of the result was the kind of game that would have the punters coming back for more.

Perhaps a little unusually, I hadn't seen Oakleigh play at all this season, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Their form hasn't been great, and thus there was the coaching change with Miron Bleiberg now at the helm. A few people have said that it was the worst Oakleigh side they've seen for a long time. I'd disagree, but I don't think that I can. I didn't think Oakleigh looked too bad going forward, and they probably should have opened the scoring about 15 minutes in - Peter Gavalas pulled out a terrific save after bolting off his line.

Matthews was making his first start in several weeks, after having broken his arm in a work related accident, and thus Dimi Hatzimouratis was moved further upfield to a more suitable midfield position. Rixon started again. There was no Van Eeken, and no Fernando. Apart from a brief period early on, and the last 10 minutes or so perhaps when we went into our sehll, we dominated this match. Our midfield was well on top, moving the ball quickly, winning the 50/50 challenges, and opening up the oakleuigh defence almost at will.

All that was needed was the goal, and eventually Hatzimouratis drilled one home that left everyone stunned, not least Italiano in the Oakleigh goal, who stood rooted to the spot. One observer reckoned that it must have taken a deflection for the keeper to stand still like that. I suppose we'll see when the video comes out. Hatzimouratis' second goal looked so easy, I was wondering how we didn't stuff it up. Some good team play exposed Oakleigh out on their righthand side, and the ball was cut in without much fuss for a simple finish for the goal. 2-0 up at halftime and looking good.


Those wackly ballboys! Photo: Cindy Nitsos.


The second half was more of the same, only without us being able to really put Oakleigh to the sword as we should have done. That wasn't helped by Rixon being shirtfronted on the goal line when it looked like he would have scored an easy header to make it 3-0. It was about a billion times the penalty than the one he received last week. Italiano's rugby tackle - outside the box! - not being punished was just hilarious. Not so hilarious was Gasparis being injured, and hobbling off. I've really enjoyed his play this season, and hope that this doesn't derail his season. Rhys Meredith's miseed opportunity will be hard to beat this season. With so many options available - most notably to either go around the keeper or pass the ball laterally for the supporting player - he decided to try and tuck it past Italiano who made a good save.


A half decent crowd was in attendance. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

 Oakleigh started to make some inroads towards the end of the game, mocving away from the fancy stuff they'd favoured for the most of the macth - and usually thwarted by a poor final pass or masses of South defenders - and tried a simpler approach. It piad off in the 91st minute when new recuirt Alex Smiht scored, but we managed to hold on for the win. Why Tsolakis didn't make any subs, especially for an obviously labouring Rixon, I don't know. He didn't even make a sub for the sake of running down the clock. It was quite frustrating, especially watching the team fumble its way to what may have ended up being an unjust result.

Still, it would be unfair to focus on the negatives too much, because for the most part we looked good out there, even if the opponent was not at its best. Rixon had a much better game than last week, and looks to be getting his touch and match fitness back. Kelly was fearsome with his tackling. Matthews, while not faultess, also looked to be on the improve from his scratchy form in the seconds. An interesting middle portion of the season coming.

Steve From Broady's under 21 report
On Sunday evening South Melbourne's under 21s took on Oakleigh Cannons at Lakeside Stadium. South, who were coming of a poor result last week, kept their squad unchanged. The game started off very slowly and it took 10 minutes for the first bit of action to occur when an Oakleigh defender appeared to swing a fist at Anthony Giannopoulos and started a minor scuffle. The ref ran in quickly and broke it up but to the amazement of the crowd the Oakleigh defender managed to stay on the park.

After that Oakleigh Cannons pushed forward and tried their luck taking a shot from 30 yards out and finding the back of the net to give them a 1-0 lead after 15 minutes. In a half that was very even South Melbourne's Solano picked up a yellow card just before half time for a rash tackle. Oakleigh went into the break leading 1-0.

South come out attacking early in the second half, dominating the game for a long period of time with no reward. The South coach made a very attacking move putting on a third striker, Sebit Moun, early in the second half. As the second half started to come to an end another South player found themselves in the ref's book. In the final stages of the game Oakleigh thought they were on their way to three valuable championship points before an Oaks defender brought down a South striker in the box and the ref awarded a penalty to South in the dying seconds of the game.

Anthony Giannopoulos stepped up to the spot and smashed the ball into the back of the net to earn South a 1-1 draw in what was a disappointing showing from South this afternoon who are starting to fall behind in the league now dropping into the bottom half of the table. Next week South play Pascoe Vale away and they must be going there for a win if they're serious about wining the championship this season.

Steve From Broady's Canteen Review
South's canteen was in the spotlight for the second time this season and must have taken the advice on board about making their souvs better with the South canteen taking their souv up a notch this week with a very nice serving of good meat and garlic sauce evenly portioned through out the whole souv. I give this week's souv a 7 well done South food truck.

1. Hume City 8/10
2. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
3. Southern Stars 2/10
4. Green Gully 1/10
5. Dandenong DQ

South food truck

• Week 1 - 4.5/10
• Week 2 - 7/10 

Three Prawns are Hardly a Galaxy!
At least Gary Coleman managed to get three prawns. I only got two in my nasi lemak at the Mamak outlet on Lonsdale Street. This was somewhat made up by Steve from Broady getting a nose bleed. Could it have been from the food being too spicy? I don't really know about such things, but for some reason it was funny. How very immature of me.

Chants
You're supposed to be in church!

Around the Grounds
Altona East 0 La Trobe 0. Fairly forgettable game. At least last season East were able to eke out a few 1-0 wins - on Saturday, outside a five minute period in the second half where they had a couple of good chances, they never seriously looked like scoring. Had a few corners and frees around the box, but for the most part delivery was atrocious. La Trobe defended well enough and looked disciplined, but it would have been nice to maybe see them chance their arm a bit, and play with an extra man up forward.

Next Week
Pascoe Vale away. They toweled us up during the pre-season, were apparently atrocious at the start of the season, but have since picked up somewhat, and are coming off a 2-0 win away at the Thunder.

Final Thought
It's a few weeks late, and I'm not really much of a metal fan, but RIP Jeff Hanneman.

Saints Be Praised! Kiss of Death, Round 7, 2013

Bentleigh Greens vs Melbourne Knights @ Bentleigh on Friday @ 8.15pm
Bentleigh entertain the Knights on Friday night. A game I might be at. Bentleigh sit second while the Knights sit fourth. A game of two sides. Should have plenty of action and plenty of goals. Both teams will play for the win, and both will concede. Bentleigh Greens 3 – Melbourne Knights 2.

Richmond vs Hume City @ KB Reserve on Friday @ 8.30pm
Richmond is on the up. Or are they? They still sit bottom of the table with six losses from six games. But they are playing better somewhat. Hume on the other hand, are a disgrace to the league. Their coaching duo of Lou Acevski and Zoran Markovski leaves a lot to be desired. Two of the most hated players of the past, are now coaching and letting their antics get out of hand. Zoran Markovski is just a joke. To charge at the South players after the game in the manner he did is unacceptable. Joke. Richmond 1 – Hume City 2.

Dandenong Thunder vs Pascoe Vale @ George Andrews Reserve on Saturday @ 3pm
Another three points in the bag for Dandy. They will absolutely kill Pascoe Vale. Pascoe might as well not rock up and just lose 3-0 on forfeit. Dandenong Thunder 5 – Pascoe Vale 0.

Green Gully vs Port Melbourne @ Green Gully on Saturday @ 3pm
Green Gully will have their hands full against Port Melbourne. Seriously, when is Port going to sack Eric? With the amount of popstars he has down there, there is no excuse. Taki Svigos is waiting in the wings. LOL. Green Gully 3 – Port Melbourne 1.

Southern Stars vs Northcote City @ Southern Stars on Saturday @ 6pm
Southern Stars are hopeless. Northcote City are top of the table unbeaten with six from six. FML. Southern Stars 0 – Northcote City 6.

South Melbourne vs Oakleigh Cannons @ Lakeside Stadium on Sunday @ 5pm
The game of the round by anyone's standards. Oakleigh continues to sign HAL hacks, the latest being some dude from New Zealand LOL. When will they ever breed some of their own talent I ask? Then again talent down at Oakleigh is slim. This game should be a cracker on and off the park. The question remains however, is will Oakleigh rock up? There are three saints celebrating on Sunday, and with Oakleigh being all religious, I expect a forfeit. If they manage to rock up and play, well won’t that be a mistake they will rue for a while. South on the other hand are pagans. We would even play on Christmas Day if we had to, because football is our religion! We are coming off an MMA fight with Hume last weekend, and I'm not sure of the injury count, but some of the tackles last weekend were terrible. A decent ref would not have lost control of the game. Which brings me to question the refs assigned to certain fixtures. Knowing our luck, we will have some kid in the middle and two chicks on the lines. Not that there’s anything wrong with women officials, but please not in the VPL. Stick them down in the lower leagues to gain a bit more experience. Anyhoo, about this weekend. South should beat Oakleigh. Oakleigh have been very poor this season, and I can’t see Miron Bleiberg turning things around anytime too soon. Last weekend we witnessed poor coaching from Gus. I’ve waffled on forums about it, and I'm not going to waffle on anymore. I just hope he's learned from his mistakes. South Melbourne 3 – Oakleigh Cannons 0 (1 for every saint).

New Blog - Melbourne Soccer

Do you harbour less than complimentary opinions of the FFV? When you look deep inside your heart, do you think they could be a significantly better job? Are you some kind of misanthrope who wishes doom and destruction on Australian soccer? If you fall into any of those categories then this might be the blog for you. It's also got a kickarse background, which has kind of got us thinking about how to steal their idea for use on this space. The writer behind it also apparently plans to do some historical stuff as well. Whenever a new blog turns up, we're never too sure how long it will stick around for, but I'm hoping this one has some staying power.

The Late Report - Hume City 3 South Melbourne 2

This isn't going to be much of a match review, even by my standards.

There's only so many times you can give up two goal headstarts and expect to get the chocolates at the end of the match. Defensively, for whatever reason, we are a mess at the moment. Is it all due to the absence of Alan Kearney? Some may like to think so, but we'll have to wait until he comes back to get a clearer picture on that.

Going forward, at least in the first half, we weren't much better. What to several people looked like an obviously not ready yet Trent Rixon was selected to start ahead of Renco Van Eeken. Van Eeken apparently was suffering from the ill effects of last week's game, but still managed to come off the bench.

Meanwhile the game plan we had constructed for this season was thrown out the window, with long ball after long ball being sent forward. What was surprising about this is that in its own cackheaded way it worked - well, one time at least, when Rixon got what looked like the most un VPL-like of penalties. Take what you can get and all that. Still, we managed to get it back to 2-2, and looked the more likely side to score a winner, but that defensive frailty stung us again.

Some of the substitutions and tactical decisions seemed strange. I still don't get why Joe Keenan, who has no right foot, is being played on the right hand side. Also, why was Rhys Meredith taken off? He was the one troubling Hume the most out of any of our players. Why at 3-2 down did we bring on Tom Matthews, a defender? Well, at least we're scoring a few goals this season, which is a lot more entertaining than whatever we were trying to do last year. Are we in the A-League yet?

Steve From Broady's Under 21s report
On Sunday the 19th of May South Melbourne's under 21s took on Hume City at Broadmeadows Valley Park. South were coming of a solid 2-0 win over last season's champions Richmond. The game started off very sloppy with both teams consistently turning over the football. South pushed forward in the 23rd minute and earned a free kick just outside the penalty area. Cartanos stepped up and curled it around the wall and into the top corner to give south a 1-0 lead half way through the first half.

South hung on for nearly the rest of the first half but controversially the ref played seven minutes of injury time in a half that had no injuries at all. Hume managed to equalise in the 51st minute of the first half with a classic counter attack that ripped through the heart of the South defence. 1-1 it was when the lads headed into the sheds at half time.

Hume come out in the second half meaning business, putting South under pressure from the get go and 10 minutes into the second half South's defence was breached again when the Hume City striker rounded the keeper and fired a shot into the frame, but Hume City had their left winger ghosting in and he got the follow up shot off the frame and made no mistake putting the ball into the back of the net to give Hume City a 2-1 lead.

As the half went on South just could not get into the game. South thought they earned themselves a penalty in the 80th minute when a Hume City defender was all over Anthony Giannopoulos and tackled him to the ground, only for the ref to wave the appeals away. Hume City then ran the ball down the other end and a throw in was awarded to South next to their defensive corner flag. In the following events that saw the South number 22 get a straight red card for telling the ref to fuck off. Three minutes later a Hume City player found himself sent off for an early shower when he received his second yellow card.

2-1 it finished for Hume City, a very disappointing loss for South - hopefully the boys can bounce back next week when they play the Oakleigh Cannons at Lakeside Stadium.

Steve From Broady's Canteen Review
On the 19th of May Hume City's canteen had its chance to shine and did not disappoint, producing a quality kebab ticking all the boxes. Hume managed to fill the kebab with lots of meat that's a big + and at a reasonable price. I have decided to give the Hume City canteen an 8 out of 10 which sees them take the lead off Bentleigh Greens on the VPL canteen championship leader board.

1. Hume City 8/10
2. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
3. Southern Stars 2/10
4. Green Gully 1/10
5. Dandenong DQ

South food truck
Week 1 4.5

Room Without A View
I know that their new stand is half under construction and thus fenced off, but even so, the viewing experience on Sunday was seriously sub par. Watching the game from the opposite wing was nigh on impossible, thanks to large metal benches - and their metal scoreboard cousin - blocking huge chunks of the field of vision. The only place to watch the game from even semi-adequately was in the corners, as directly behind the goals they've erected these large black fences to stop balls flying off into some gosh forsaken quarry or something. I suppose the one saving grace was that for once the wind was entirely absent as factor.

In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream
It also doesn't help if you're not there. Hume's support has never been crash hot - and who are we to talk considering how our crowds have abandoned us - but their attendance was just pathetic on Sunday. There was a cheer, I suppose, for each of their goals, but the atmosphere was more like that of a pre-season friendly.

I Say, Good Sir, That Was An Outrageous Decision! I Demand That You Rescind It Immediately!
So security was sent over, because someone, somewhere had had enough of the foul language. To be fair, the supporters and security person handled the situation well. Cue then the calls of goshdarnit, dangnabbit and the like. My pick? Whoever blurted out 'what the dillyo?'.

The Ethics of Kicking the Ball Out of Play for an Injury
To sum up. When Gavalas was down hurt, Hume played on. Late in the game, they kicked th ball out because one of their players was cramping I guess. We refused to give the ball back. They got angry. We've pretty much been here before, so I don't think we need to cover this again.

Other Sports From Other Planets Department - Rugby Union
As a favour of sorts to Steve from Broady, who's been to several footy matches with me, even though he doesn't like the game - I think he mostly gets a kick out of watching me being sullen in a different context - I decided that it was time to make my debut at a rugby union match last Friday.

I bought my ticket from a scalper outside the gate. OK, he was probably just some guy with spare tickets, and honestly, I don't even know if I got a good deal or not, but man, did I feel like a badass by not buying a ticket at the gate.

Now I know the basic rules, some of the history, but otherwise don't give a toss about the game. I knew it was a Rebels' match I was going to, but I had no idea who their opponents were. Turned out it was the Stormers from South Africa. I was hoping that it would have been one of the Kiwi teams, as that would have increased the Maori and Islander count a bit, but there were a few Saffas in the crowd at our end, including one who waved his flag around like nobody's business.

Otherwise, it was classic case of 'who are these people and why are they here?' Part of that answer was that a lot of them in our vicinity seemed to be from private schools. Marcellin was one of them (I have no idea who they are; their website seems to indicate they have a rugby program, but no soccer, even though I've read elsewhere that they have or had a soccer program). I could tell they were from Marcellin because it was written on their hoodies.

There were some others behind us in maroon tracksuits with blue and yellow trim, but couldn't see what school they were from. And yes, there were blazers, and talk of whether one had ever been to Xavier or not. The rest of the crowd seemed to be made up of a certain upper middle class type of person, in that they wore tasteful scarves, cheered and occasionally jeered at the appropriate moments and mostly kept to themselves. Pretty boring.

Every time there was a break in play, there was music. Not just for injuries, not just after tries, but even every time the ball went out of play. And I thought the AFL was bad in this department. There was scarcely a free moment to think, and considering the copious amount of time lost due to as far as I could tell, not much at all, it was bloody irritating. The Mexican style trumpet at the start of each half also grated.

Though this was of course not a Wallabies game, it has always confused me as to why the upper classes, those descendants of the squattocracy, who watch this sport at a national level, have somehow chosen Waltzing Matilda as their song. It makes no sense. It's an anti-authoritarian song you goons. Anyway, the game of the upper class calling their Melbourne franchise the Rebels is also a bit of a laugh - more so when you see people displaying the Eureka flag as well. Jas H. Duke might have had something to say about that. Or perhaps not.

I used to think, perhaps in my own Victorian way, that the extra kicking in rugby union made the game more watchable than its league cousin. Seeing it in person made me realise how wrong I was. While I still think there's a place for kicking in rugby league - if they bring back unlimited tackles - the kicking in this match was terrible. More often than not, when the Rebels were resorting to kicking it was also unnecessary.

And the knock ons! So many knock ons! I suppose it was a combination of the quick play - somehow I had this idea that rugby union wasn't quite as fast as that - and the relative crappiness of the two teams on show. But back to the fast play for a moment. Rugby union on a pristine surface didn't make sense to me - shouldn't these matches be played on a mud pile? But there wasn't much time to ponder that because of the classic 'What was that for? Oh, you've got it on the screen' moments.

In soccer there seems to be a limited number of infractions, and thus you can pretty quickly get on with the game while abusing the referee for giving the opposite decision of what he should have awarded. In the footy, the umpires make it up as they go along, but at least provide clear signals most of the time as to what made up decision they actually decided on, and then we have the pantomime of everyone craning their necks towards the scoreboard for the replay to justify to ourselves that they got it wrong.

In rugby, it goes like this. Everyone gets in a big pile. At random moments during these piles - and not at every pile - the official in charge declares that some sort of infringement has happened. And apparently we look to the screen not for a replay, but for a text message telling us what it was for. Good luck to people like me for whom every one of these piles looks exactly alike.

It may be due to my own petty Victorianism, but I could not get this question out of my head. Why is this team in existence? Whose needs are they serving? Yes, I understand that as a city with a certain amount of people in it that we 'need' to have one of everything when it comes to sports franchises, but someone should have drawn the line here.

Finally, two things stood out above all else. Firstly, South needs to play at this stadium. Hurry up and make the grand final you clowns. And secondly, tries mean nothing to me. Seriously.

First They Came For Stunning Steve McKee, and I Said Nothing...
Apologies to everyone I bored with talk of last Saturday night's atrocious AFL umpiring.

Next Week
Oakleigh, at home. They're a rabble at the moment apparently, but even if that's true, they're a rabble with some good players still in their team. Not to be taken lightly.

Kiss of Death, Round 6, 2013

Oakleigh Cannons vs Dandenong Thunder @ Jack Edwards @ 8.30pm Friday
Oakleigh has hired Miron Bleiberg as its interim coach according to media reports. It just didn’t work out with the previous coach whose name I do not know. Oakleigh has been struggling bad. You all know it, that’s why they are sitting in ninth position. Dandenong Thunder rolls on in fifth position, but won’t be able to do enough at Oakleigh. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Dandenong Thunder 0.

Saints celebrated on Friday are Andronikos, Androdniki, Iounia and Solon. Get that fish ready!

Pascoe Vale vs Bentleigh Greens @ Pascoe Vale @ 8.30pm Friday
I was probably the only person on the planet who tipped Pascoe last week. I laughed all the way to my online betting account! In this seventh vs third clash, I think that Bentleigh will shell shock Pascoe with a big score. Bentleigh are pretty fluent in how they do things. Pascoe Vale 0 – Bentleigh Greens 4.

Richmond vs Port Melbourne Sharks @ KB Reserve @ 8.30pm Friday
Richmond looked good last week for at least 50 minutes or so. They should’ve parked the bus. Instead they let South do what they wanted. This week they will be successful in their endeavours against sixth placed Port Melbourne. Rumour has it that Victorian coaching legend Takis Svigos is being teed up to take Eric’s job at Port. I hope this happens. I tipped it! Richmond 3 – Port Melbourne Sharks 1.

Hume City vs South Melbourne @ Hume @ 3pm Sunday
This week South visits Hume. Can’t wait for my yearly fix of Gazoza (do they have gazoza? I thought that Dandy - Ed.). That in itself should be interesting. After trailing Richmond 0-2 at Lakeside last week, one could only have flashbacks of last year's poor home results. South was poor for 50 or so minutes. Yeah OK, Richmond was sitting deep, but how about some creative attacking South? Instead we had to sit there and witness crosses going to no-one, ball being shifted left-right-left-right, and long balls from Kelly going absolutely nowhere. It was obvious they weren’t going to move out of their half until the 46th minute, yet we kept doing a big fuck all. Their biggest weakness was the centre of the park. Instead of exploiting this, we kept trying to go down the wings. Every fucken corner was hit onto the keeper, we were pulling stupid fouls, and our creativity up front was woeful. Then came the 0-2 which sparked us into action. One of the Queenslanders pulls a rabbit out of the hat with a semi-overhead, then he gets a second, then we get a third. Andy ‘pappou’ Vlahos came on at the right time. Gus decided, to the shock of the crowd, to make a sub before the 80th minute. That my friends, was a masterstroke. Pappou came on and turned Richmond's defence on its head. His mazy run for one of the goals and pretty crap shot requiring the keeper to parry, put us I think to 2-2 (3-2 actually - Ed.). I kinda forgot how we scored and when because I was too busy talking shit to the rest of my South friends. Anyhoo, the question is, have we used our ‘get out of jail’ card too early this season? Should we have used it? Richmond hasn’t won a game, yet they come to South and nearly get a win. Defensively with Brad ‘plasma’ Norton at left back we look very weak. He got skinned alive for Richmond's second. Kelly needs to stop those long balls to no one and nowhere, and just play it simple. We are missing Kearney. He is a key for us this season, and we miss that dog midfielder. We won’t have a problem disposing of Hume. If my two year theory is correct, we enjoy compact grounds, rather than our big one. Hume City 0 – South Melbourne 3.

Melbourne Knights vs Southern Stars @ Knights Stadium @ 3pm Sunday
Melbourne Knights entertain dead and buried Southern Stars on Sunday. Should be a goal fest. The only decent player at Stars is the young keeper Koc. Excellent talent. Expect a goal fest if you can beat him. Melbourne Knights 5 – Southern Stars 0.

Northcote City vs Green Gully Cavaliers @ Northcote @ 3pm Sunday
Northcote seem to be galloping away with this year's championship. Playing really good by all accounts. Gully on the other hand are languishing in tenth position. Methinks the players are waiting for Dobbo to come back before they start playing again. How much time does Hennessy have? Northcote City 2 – Green Gully Cavaliers 0.

The FFV, National Premier Leagues and You

This post was submitted to us by one of our readers, a passionate, non-South Melbourne affiliated supporter of the game. The contributor has been involved in football for most of his life, as a player, volunteer and committee member. While we may disagree on certain issues, I have never doubted his passion and sincerity on all matters related to soccer in this state. South of the Border would like to thank the writer for their contribution, and I hope that that the readers of this blog enjoy this piece.


Why we must see this restructure for what it is
Two years ago, the Football Federation of Australia (FFA) announced a National Competitions Review (NCR) with a view to bring all top-tier state-competitions more or less in line with each other. They later announced the National Premier League, unveiling a flash new logo with David Gallop in tow for a photo opportunity. The NPL has already kicked off in Queensland, New South Wales, Tasmania, the ACT and in South Australia (see here for state-specific information).

I'm not going to go into the differences between each state and their pros and cons - the bottom line is that these National Premier Leagues are 'what the FFA envisage as the future 'B-League' - or platform for promotion and relegation into the A-league. The fact that it doesn't state that fact or purpose in any of the proposed or accepted frameworks for the NPL should have alarm bells ringing.

Football Federation Victoria, the FFA-recognised organiser and promoter of the round-ball game in the state of Victoria has unfortunately, lost its way. So much water has passed under the bridge since the heyday of George Wallace and Michael Weinstein that it had me wondering recently if this was the vision they had for football in Victoria.

Let's quickly look at the NPL Victoria Criteria. The two key operational documents pertaining to the NPLV are the Participation Criteria and the Participation Licence. The Participation Criteria stipulate the process for which a club/franchise/other body will be admitted into the NPLV, while the Participation Licence outlines the more operational rules that will be enforced once the league gets off the ground.

The FFV Board of Directors announced the NPLV criteria at the end of April giving clubs just over a month-long window in which to fully research the ramifications of the NPLV, organise an Extraordinary General Meeting of all members and to submit an expression of interest form. Kind of gun-to-the-head stuff when you take into account that this is historically, other than the VASFA/VSF split in the early 1960s, the biggest restructure this game potentially will go through. Irresponsible?Unorganised? Deceitful? You decide.

The next step in the application process is to consult the 'NPLV Subject Matter Expert Contact List'. The alarming point about this is the distinct lack of real-world, on the ground knowledge among those lucky souls to be dubbed 'Experts'. I dare say that this is the fruit of shutting clubs out of the moulding process that was the NCR, relegating them to a checkbox in their 'Stakeholder Engagement' process. More alarming is the fact that every single one of the people listed are currently employees of the FFV who are meant to be fulfilling their duties to the clubs that pay for a level of service. I am of course referring here to the exorbitant, extortionist-like FFV imposed affiliation fees on clubs to enable them to compete in a league.

At the basic level, the FFV provides insurance for players and officials, fixturing and referees. That is the basic level of service that clubs demand and even then at the highest level they are unable to get referees on time, fixtures confirmed, wrong results entered into 'Sporting Pulse'... the list goes on. Instead the clubs receive services that are actually in competition with services the clubs offer. Club-funded FFV programs such as the NTC, Victory Youth and Women's teams are only the surface issues. Does anyone ask themselves what their full time employees do day-to-day? Have a look at the contact list and see for yourself the top-heavy organisation the FFV has set themselves up to be. Yet you have publications like GoalWeekly having to adapt to a non-Victorian specific market that was actually servicing the clubs, competitions and interests of all 'stakeholders (I hate that word) in a more than satisfactory manner. A few home truths printed about the FFV will get your funding pulled. Fair enough. At least they were principled in their approach and weren't bought off like so many other media outlets.

Clubs this year, more than any other, have felt a distinct lack of service over any other year. Well, now you know why - we are financing them to introduce a structure that is going to kill our heritage, our future and everything associated with it. Clubs don't even get their results in the paper on a Monday morning anymore, yet some obscure table tennis league played at Coburg Pools across the road from Pentridge can get a full results listing.

A packed Quarry Hill - will we ever see such a sight again?

Let's call a spade a spade. The FFV is inept. They are running the game in the interests of the FFV (commercial interests) and not in the interests of the game as a participation sport and another key 'stakeholder' they have forgotten about as a spectator sport. Had a look at SportingPulse recently? Or at the FFV email signatures? Both have had major edits to include an advertisement, yes a shameless plug – Get your NPLV application done before the 31st of this month! Shameful.

It is not a coincidence that crowds have declined dramatically in the last 7-8 years. The FFV in all its cunning, got through the biggest constitutional reform ever seen in Victoria where all the bigger (read: majority vote holding) Victorian clubs were asleep at the wheel and signed over all of their voting rights to the 'faceless ones', the zone representatives and chairmen of five standing committees. It was from here that they did and continue to do what they please. Exorbitant fines, concentrating on peripheral issues, being in competition with clubs these are only the small issues that every fan who has turned away from the FFV has felt on their own skin. Whether they will return is another issue, but the fact is that the FFV have a track record for being out of touch.

This brings us to our next point. Upon successful entry the applicant will have to sign a licence agreement. They have set themselves up as the organisation that gives out licences, meaning that they can just as easily take them away. That is the legal premise of a licence over a lease or affiliation agreement. The licence period has been listed as three years without promotion and relegation. This flies in the face of healthy competition and breeds mediocrity. Don't forget to nominate your three 'preferred' playing names (club/identity) to the FFV for ratification in your NPLV submission.

This is seriously beyond a joke and I haven't even touched on other contentious issues such as the Player Points System (PPS), recruitment zoning and intellectual property rights demarcation between the competition and clubs.

Juniors

An Applicant cannot enter senior or junior teams (including small sided football teams) in FFV community competitions. It can and should be encouraged to train the best junior players through a SAP or Academy program to prevent NPLV clubs from decimating community clubs of their best players at this level and also give community clubs a road or pathway for those players. Applicants are encouraged to include details of any such SAP program in its application.

Take from this direct quote what you will, but the bottom line is for clubs to be part of the NPLV, they must field a minimum and maximum of one team per age group in the boys competition (under 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18) whilst also fielding under 13, 15 and 18s in the girls competition, while also fielding a men's under 20s and men's and women's seniors. For example if you have four under 9s teams they will no longer play under you. They are effectively out on the street with smaller clubs, which probably don't have the facilities to accommodate them in the first place. They now have to pick up the slack.

This NPLV is envisaged to be 'the' development league for aspiring youngsters wanting to get into the A-League and overseas. Nowhere does it mention driving crowds to games or getting in corporate sponsorship dollars to offset the very real possibility of a large deficit when you take into account the coaching situation. Clubs must appoint a Technical Director who reports quarterly to the State's Technical Director Sean Douglas. The shortage of licenced coaches in Victoria is very real.

Courtesy of the FFV Memes Facebook page.

Those lucky enough to have such accreditation already have on the face of it, less real-world experience than the Peter Tsolakis and Andrew Marths of the world. They have rightfully been ignored by the top-level Victorian clubs for decades for being 'paper' coaches whilst they will now find themselves in a position of favour in getting well paying jobs under this new system. Will the 9 or so A-Licence coaches currently in Victoria demand less than $50 an hour? Translating into a simple calculation of training 5 nights a week for two hours plus a game totalling a weekly spend of $600 a week? What about the team's mandatory assistant and goalkeeper coach? This drives up the already high costs of playing soccer in Australia. All for an unproven system not tried, tested or established anywhere in the world. For the first time in Australian soccer history, we have now become smarter than the rest of the world without the results to back up such assertions. This has time-bomb written all over it.

Club fees for juniors are capped at $1700 for each player. Working off these figures it remains to be seen how clubs can offer the level of service expected by the FFV with accredited senior coaches, assistants and their goalkeeping instructors. Forget about pricing in the sports trainers, physios and doctors a prospective NPLV club will have to employ as part of the FFV's over-the-top scheme. Don't expect the NPLV clubs to be 'elite' in all senses of the word. The climate in Victoria more than likely doesn't demand such high standards in the first instance. Secondly, should the NPLV get off the ground, corners will be chamfered at every stomach-churning hook turn. How will 'elite' clubs afford a good level of apparel for their players considering their budget? No adidas or Nike for them. We'll go with Jako or Best n' Less.

In line with FFV's enforced constitutional changes upon clubs, new NPLV entities will have to recognise “all its key stakeholders...as members under its Constitution including registered players, coaches, administrators and volunteers." No longer are club members the people that actually pay a membership subscription, now you have employees of the club (players and coaches) having a say in the club's direction. For me this is not in the spirit of the game. If players in general wish to be members of their clubs nothing prevents them from doing so - an annual subscription fee to the club which in the current VPL structure hovers at around $50 for voting rights.

There are so many rules and regulations that are simply not in the interests of clubs, their players and members, that they are too numerous to mention. From business plans, financial auditing (A successful Applicant must make available to FFV or FFA any financial information requested within 3 days of receiving notice of an inspection.) all the way through to commercial exclusivity and veto rights of the FFV.

Let's get to one of the main sticking points: Facilities.
The Open Men's side of the NPLV club must play out of a Class A facility. These facilities actually don't exist beyond a sprinkling of State League 2 sides. And we all already know that the overwhelming majority of VPL and State League 1 clubs have rejected the NPLV framework as unfeasible. So where will these Class A facilities come from? Will the FFV gloss over their own rules stipulating minimum facilities as they have in the past? Will government invest in prospective NPLV club facilities?

Green Gully, one of Victoria's leading clubs, is not in favour of the NPLV.

The FFV have already been told in no uncertain terms what councils think of the proposed NPLV. Oakleigh and Green Gully have already been informed by their local councils that should they apply, they will lose exclusivity of their facilities. So where are they going to get these 'two clubs per zone' to constitute a competitive NPLV? In the western zone, the zone with probably the most registered players and clubs they have already hit a major bump in the road. The two highest ranked clubs, Melbourne Knights and Green Gully aren't looking to enter. So who has a Class A facility in the western suburbs that is willing to roll the dice? St. Albans, Altona Magic or Point Cook in State League 5? But alas, the FFV has made it clear that they will redraw its zonal boundaries to accommodate whoever applies to the NPLV.

Nowhere has the FFV mentioned that they have secured a multi-million dollar sponsor to run this league. Nowhere have they mentioned how they will drive attendances to games. Are they content in having a glorified under 25s competition? Definitely. Thus far their attitude towards the 'bigger' for want of a better word, more experienced top level clubs, has been, 'we don't care who we get, as long as we get them.' So far the two clubs that have publicly stated that they will apply are Surf Coast FC and Ballarat Red Devils. All well and good, but to be brutally honest, neither has the financial backing or experience to run an 'Elite' club, competition or teams.

This is the core of the problem. Taking away all other issues and contentions, the FFV is hell bent on ramming this reform down the throats of those expected to implement it. Clubs must take on all of the risk while the FFV take all the plaudits should it get off the ground. If it doesn't it will be the fault of the clubs.

The Community Leagues
Let's have a look at the alternative, the derogatorily dubbed 'community leagues'. Where is the criteria for these leagues you ask? Well... FFV haven't figured that out. What has been confirmed to clubs off the record is that the FFV will only run one semi-professional league in 2014. That will be the NPLV. State League 1 as we know it will be an all-amateur affair with clubs unable to register players as professionals.

When a club representative asked this question last week, the FFV replied that they will do all it takes to protect the NPLV. What that means in real terms remains to be seen but I'll give you my cynical opinion. The FFV will do exactly what they stated. Clubs will have no professional players that they will be able to demand compensation for. State League 1 will be dissected into North, South, East and Western zones to further dilute the quality of that competition. They might also remove the club's right to charge entry at the gate for senior games and parking.

I'm not against any club having their time in the sun, but the way that used to be done always ensured that clubs with community support worked their way through the levels, learned what it takes to run a club at each level and progressed organically. These days we have these queue jumpers that see this NPLV as a ticket to the top. To be honest, they can have their ticket.

What is for sure though is that the VPL and State League 1 clubs that will be brushed aside to the scrapheap of great FFV ideas (remember FootballAce?) will not take this lying down. Over seven centuries of combined history in the VPL alone does not count for nothing, no matter how often they bang their head against the wall and put us down to believe that we should be ashamed of the players that Victoria collectively produced under the 'old' system (it worked) compared to now. Apparently we're holding the game back or something?

What is important is that if you're heading along to your club's EGM to vote on joining the NPLV - vote a resounding NO. You never know what opportunity awaits around the corner.

And at the end of my rant I realise that I haven't adequately covered each document that I said I would. Unfortunately such is the passion against these reforms I find it difficult to calm my emotions; such is the game of football for those that truly love it and have its best interests at heart.

The FFV have lost touch with the football world, they have poisoned the well from which we all draw from and charge us accordingly for an inferior product. We will stand up for what is just even if it is unpopular. The South Melbournes, the Melbourne Knights', The Sunshine George Cross' and the Heidelberg Uniteds of this world still have some fight left in them.

Say NO to the NPLV.