Stuck in Sydney

Memories, light the corners of my mind

Meh, Melbourne Victory in some early strife on field, and for some reason Michael Lynch cautiously infers that a successful NSL/VPL coach might have been a better choice. Not one of ours thankfully (?!), but the VPL's King of Kings, Ian Dobson. Strange how people start thinking in a crisis.

Anyway, more curiously, Lynch's Age colleague Greg Baum thought it would be pertinent to compare the current Melbourne derby to one of former years - ours and the Knights rivalry.

This is not the derby of Manchester or Milan, because it cannot be. It is certainly not Glasgow's Old Firm. It is not yet even South Melbourne versus the Melbourne Knights, from Australian soccer's pre-reformation.

It's only one line, but someone remembers, or at least pretends to. Of course Baum then does what he does best, and brings aussie rules into the picture. But this is Melbourne and thus it is unavoidable I suppose.

Australian soccer's pre-reformation is an interesting notion though. I always preferred the imagery of the Rapture, with the well-behaved and pious A-League fans taken up to some kind of dull heaven, while all us unrepentant wogs are left below to deal with the Apocalypse as best we can.

To make Baum's analogy work however, we'd surely need a counter-reformation. Armies of wog club missionaries - maybe like the Olympic Ultras! - walking down the (internet) streets, proselytising. But who will be our Ignacio de Loyola?

More Braindead B-League Banter

The B-League idea is the proverbial thing that will not die. Good to see also that the FFA's competition review is also still going. Wasn't it supposed to be released like six months ago? Or was that another review? And what was our input into this review? My goodness what a slow off-season we're in. This is from Adelaide's 'Advertiser'. 

Asia's demands would transform the competition

LYALL Gorman says a B-League is high on the agenda as the A-League prepares to manage soccer's biggest laws upheaval in two decades.

The A-League chief is keen to expand the game professionally with promotion and relegation.

Dino D'Ottavi, president of three-time national league champions Adelaide City, welcomed the incentive, "but the figures would have to stack up as we're establishing our home base at Oakden Central," he said.

Gorman is also preparing for FIFA to re-write the Laws of the Game. On the agenda is two extra match officials, goal-line technology and radio communication for match officials.

The changes are set to be endorsed by the International Football Association Board at a special meeting after the UEFA European Championships in July.

IFAB is the only body that can change the Laws of the Game. Its voting structure is made up of four FIFA representatives as well as the English, Scottish, Welsh and Irish governing bodies.

Changes are likely to start in the 2013-14 season.

But before this occurs Gorman is devising an A-League strategy in the hope of conforming with demands put together by the Asian Football Confederation's Professional Leagues Project committee.

The committee is forcing the introduction of second-tier competitions across Asia's better men's leagues. The 14-point plan includes promotion and relegation, a Cup competition and the league to run as a separate entity rather than being controlled by Football Federation Australia.

Gorman said the FFA Cup - involving all of Australia's FIFA-sanctioned men's teams - was planning to kick off next year but was not set in stone, nor was there a deadline in place for the B-League.

"We've undertaken the national competitions review," Gorman said.

"It will be complete within six months and there's a time factor and infrastructure needed to make sure we can move to that." He said the game's second-tier competition was tipped to be aligned to a unified states' competitions calendar but the finer details were still in their infancy.

When the AFC issued the ad-hoc document in 2008 it also alluded to taking Champions League spots away if nations didn't meet the new second-tier demands by 2012.

"I don't believe the process would cost us a Champions League spot," Gorman said.

"We are determined to get the competition stronger all the way through, A-League, youth league, where we're helping to take that to another level."

Say it ain't so, Joe

Daniel Vasilevski and Carl Recchia both gone to newly promoted Whittlesea Zebras. Which is a pity, because even though Vasa didn't have a great year he could still be useful, and Recchia when he was available was our best and most important player, also showing a fair bit of leadership. That's part of the consequences of having a sort of cashed up club get promoted replacing clubs that had no money.

Gus Tsolakis confirmed as South coach for 2012

It was the worst kept secret in Victorian soccer in quite some time. But I don't blame anyone for that. One could argue that it was a given, once soccer-forum's Northcote posters changed their tune from 'he's staying at Irakli 100%" to "99% sure", to the recent Neos Kosmos article where the man himself said it was "50/50".

So, Peter 'Gus' Tsolakis is back for another stint in the top job at South, after previously having had a couple of caretaker matches in charge after Danny Wright got the chop just before the end of the 2002/2003 NSL season. His coaching reputation has been won the hard way - taking Northcote to successive promotion from state league 2 to the VPL, finals last year and a goal short of it this year. And all on allegedly one of the smaller budgets in the league.

Good move. or bad move? Hell I don't know, ask me again in about 12 months time. Gus is just about South royalty, one of the few father-son combos in the club's history - so he at least understands the culture of the place. How will this affect the sister club relationship nonsense with Northcote? Buggered if I know. Who's staying and who's going and who's coming over? Dunno, Vasilevski and Recchia allegedly and dunno again.

Good to get it out of the way at last. Would have been nice to hear a few words from Gus himself, but that will come in time.

The Continuing Adventures of Jim Marinis

It should be noted that this has naught to do with SM Hellas, so if you don't care about the AFL, you can look away now.

Yes, it's true, away from South Melbourne Hellas, I do take a more than passing interest in the Collingwood Football Club. Feel free to send all hate mail via the comments section.

Been wondering what our old friend Marinis has been up to of late? Me neither until this:

Collingwood furious as manager shops Alan Toovey around via email 

All I can say to Jim is, take that overrated poor man's Rupert Betheras and fuck off.

Hopefully something more South related in the next post.

Sivasspor 1 Buyuksehir 2

Yes, this bloke played for us this year. Also, does anyone still watch SBS's The World Game?

Would South get more mainstream coverage if it was in the NSWPL?

Just killing time until Gus Tsolakis comes back from holidays.


With all due respect, both teams in the New South Wales Premier League grand final can go to hell. But what's more interesting is that apparently they have heaps more space to use in the Sydney Morning Herald, allowing for a sort of grand final preview, while The Age and Michael Lynch simply can't manage to scrounge up the requisite inches.

Old soccer still has a place in the new football world 

There’ll be more than a scent of past glories at Belmore Sports Ground tomorrow. And, no, we’re not talking Bulldogs.

It’s the grand final of the NSW Premier League between two of the game’s proudest clubs. Sydney Olympic, the minor premiers, and Sydney United. Both formed at the same time to represent the local Greek and Croatian communities respectively. Both formed in the same year, 1957, that newly-arrived immigrants precipitated the split between Newcastle and Sydney and created what was then known as the NSW first division, but is now known as the NSWPL. They’re as old as the competition itself - a semi-professional competition Sydney United have won five times, and Sydney Olympic just once. But it’s at national league level that these two clubs really made a name for themselves, helping to groom some of the finest players of the modern era. Brett Emerton. Graham Arnold. Robbie Slater. Zeljko Kalac. Ned Zelic. Jason Culina. And many more. Sydney Olympic won two NSL championships [1999, 2002] - one in front of nearly 50,000 fans in Perth. Sydney United, heartbreakingly, lost three grand finals - one in front of 40,000 fans in Brisbane. The bridesmaids but never the bride.

Times moved on, and these clubs didn’t move quick enough. The NSL closed down in 2004, and they were never likely to survive the transition to the fully-professional A-League. ‘Old soccer’ became ‘new football’, and there was less room for ethnicity. Besides, neither club had the money. It’s been a tough adjustment back to the ranks of part-time football for two clubs accustomed to being at the pointy end of the pyramid. Sydney United have done marginally better, winning the NSWPL title in 2006. This will be Sydney Olympic’s first grand final in the post-NSL era, and it will be the first time these two fallen giants have met to decide the title. There’s talk of a record NSWPL grand final crowd, upwards of 5,000. There’ll be the chants ‘Cro-at-zia, Cro-at-zia’ and ‘O-lym-pic, O-lym-pic’. Bet on a flare or two, and mindful of the usual braggadocio from would-be hooligans, officials have put plans in place to try prevent anything more serious than that. It’s old soccer, out and proud.

Mark Rudan and Ufuk Talay are as proud as anyone of their NSL heritage with Sydney United and Marconi Stallions respectively. After the match these best mates are heading into retirement, and there’s a big chance they’ll be reflecting on their achievements with a post-match smoke behind the grandstand. Two of the better players never to have played for Australia - and teammates when Sydney FC won the first A-League title - they’ll be aiming to go out as winners. Rudan, especially so, because he’s back where it all began.

It won’t be easy. Sydney Olympic are favourites, marginally. Like Sydney United, they’ve got a clutch of players [Chris Triantis, Paul Henderson, Brett Studman] with A-League experience. And they’re playing on their home ground.

For rivals coaches, Jean Paul de Marigny and Peter Tsekenis, there’s also the chance to put a stake in the ground. Tsekenis, 38, is a young coach with a growing pedigree. This is his fourth NSWPL grand final, and twice he emerged victorious with his former club, Bankstown City. Like Rudan, the shirt has special meaning. ‘‘I grew up supporting Olympic, I captained the club, and now I’m the coach,’’ he says. Where his coaching career takes him remains to be seen, but his apprenticeship is going nicely. ‘‘I definitely want to get involved in the A-League at some stage because I believe I’ve got something to offer,’’ he says. ‘‘But I’m not looking too far ahead because I know I’ve still got a lot to learn.’’

De Marigny, 47, is further down the road, and it’s a travesty he’s still waiting for his big opportunity. An assistant coach at Newcastle Jets, and shortlisted for the North Queensland Fury job, the former Socceroo keeps banging at the door. De Marigny guided Sydney United to their last NSWPL title five years ago, and is clever enough to do so again.

The waft from the souvlaki stands will tell us this is not A-League. But it’s the next best thing. With the new A-League season kicking-off next weekend it’s a timely reminder of the game’s heritage, but also of it’s potential. Rejuvenating, and respecting, second-tier football is an issue which despite six years of neglect from head office simply won’t go away. Next year, the FFA Cup will be launched in the first concrete step to mend the fences.

In the meantime those in the know appreciate where things stand. Robbie Slater will be there to present the medal for the man-of-the-match award named in his honour, and has promised to wear his old Sydney United shirt to the ground. Mark Bosnich will be there as a board member of Sydney Olympic. A-League coaches, and players, will be there in abundance. Fact is, despite plenty of propaganda to the contrary, the game does have a history and it’s not going away. ‘‘We are Football’ is the new slogan for the A-League. That, you’d assume, means everybody.

Gosch's Paddock Gossip (and other stuff)

So yeah, I was at Gosch's Paddock yesterday with a snow bunny talking about my thesis and paying attention to groins and hamstrings while trying to cope with the overwhelming boganity in the surrounds.

And the snow bunny told me that we had actually hired a general manager, allegedly one Peter Kokotis, local player agent and occasional contributor to Neos Kosmos English Weekly. If this is true, it's an interesting end to the saga which started here and thankfully ended here.

Also rumours flying around that we've signed goalkeeper Griffin McMaster. If this is true, what does it mean for Zaim Zeneli? What does it mean for our youth keepers? And who is taking on the role of football director? Interesting times as per the norm.

South to host Olympic in Lakeside relaunch?

This is how bored I was yesterday. I went to the Box Hill United vs Whittlesea Ranges State league 2 playoff game at Yarraville's McIvor Reserve. It was cold, and it was windy.

I stood in line for what seemed like forever to get a souvlaki which may have contained some sort of hybrid of chicken and pork. I couldn't tell what it was. At least it was in pita I suppose.

And during this outing, I was told by someone that our grand re-opening of Lakeside will be a match against Sydney Olympic on Sunday December 11th. Make of that whatever you wish.

Whittlesea Ranges won 1-0 in extra time, but Langwarrin should beat them next week.

Some nonsense I whittled two years ago

Neos Kosmos English Weekly used to do this thing where they profile a local Greek-Australian soccer personality. I don't know if they do it anymore, because my folks don't buy the Saturday edition, and I don't buy it unless I've written for it, which hasn't happened for a long time. Anyway, I offered James Belias, the editor of the sports section, the opportunity to take up my profile, even though I don't play or coach or ref or administer - in the real world anyway. He declined to make use of a Hattrick profile answering the same questions. Pity. Well, I have a blog which is sitting idly here doing squat, may as well use it for shameless self-promotion.

Name : Paul Mavroudis
Club : Juniper Hill
Position : Club owner/chairman
Occupation : Associate Editor of Das Libero
Last season : 5th of 8 teams in our division 4 series. Lost relegation playoff 3-0.
Greek clubs played at : None.
Ambition : Get my club as high as possible. Not suck.
Career Highlight : Against all odds finishing fourth in division V.150, even knocking off the top team. A round six cup run two or three season back.
Football heroes : Robbie Fowler, Paul Trimboli
Current favourite local player : Julius Stoker
Current favourite international player: Timothy Dahl
Fav Aus Soccer Moment : 3rd South goal in '99 grand final
Team in Greece : I'd be lying if I said I took Greek football seriously.
Other sports : Aussie Rules and Gaelic football
Away from footy : Reading, writing, blogging, arguing, music, surfing web, collecting enemies
Fave cafe : none
Fave night club/bar : None.
Fave music : Elbow, Eels, The Autumns, Lift To Experience, Manic Street Preachers, Faith No More, Weird Al Yankovic
Holidayed in Greece : Back when I was 12.
Favourite Movie : Millennium Actress
Best thing about being Greek Australian : The incredible achievements completed several thousand years ago by a minority of people that I can attach myself to. And supporting South Melbourne Hellas.
Worst thing : Being associated with Acropolis Now.
Hidden Talent : Ability to tell the truth and not be believed.

And now it's official

Eddie is gone. All these things are viewed best with hindsight. In the end, Eddie was a victim of his inability to stamp his authority on the side. For most of the season, Joe Montemurro and even Ange Dallas were doing most of the coaching, with Eddie cowering on the bench.

Though restricted in the middle of the year by injuries and suspensions, his squad selections at times seemed to favour certain players over others regardless of form or suitability. The side should have finished at bare minimum with a double chance - instead they squeezed into the finals on the final day, and were helped by other teams having points docked.

Where South goes from here is an interesting question. There is still no proper football director to make such a decision; then again, look how far well we've done even with someone in that paid position; The names of former players Peter Tsolakis and Joe Palatsides have been bandied about, while others have suggested that Mike Chatzitrifonas, current coach of Richmond, might be a left-field choice of sorts.

With Eddie gone, which players of his will also go? It sadly seems almost a given that Jesse won't hang around; Topalovic leaving would please a few; the fate of Sebastian Petrovich and even Fernando De Moraes may also hinge on what the new coach has in store. Long off-season ahead of us.

Is Eddie still with us?

Reports circulating on soccer-forum and in Neos Kosmos that Eddie is gone, but no confirmation from the club as yet. Also in Neos Kosmos, interview with '91 championship player and current Mirabella Cup winning coach with Northcote Peter Tsolakis, where he claims he has made no plans on who he will coach next year - but that Northcote naturally has first rights to his services for next year.

Only mentioning it because Gus' name has been bandied about a bit. And look at me go - South of the Border officially into the 2012 pre-season. The Tintin jokes managed a brief moment in the sun.

Pros and Cons of having Greek Tycoons

I've been keeping my ear to the ground, hoping for something interesting to pop up. No sign of coach sacking, let alone hiring. All pretty quiet when it comes to South at the moment. But there have been intriguing rumours circulating that Greek-American tycoon Roberto Rastapopoulos is interested in tipping his money into South Melbourne. Rastapopoulos is no doubt a clever and inventive character, but it's worth weighing up the pros and cons of having such a figure involved at South. Here are some points both for and against having Roberto on board that I came up with at short notice.

Points For

• Quite wealthy individual, would allow us to start becoming really ambitious about what we could do with the club.
• Well known identity, one which could garner lots of media attention for South.
• Well connected individual, especially in the entertainment industry.
• Has no baggage from previous club administrations. Could be part of a genuine fresh start.
• Could get us into A-League? They let the Gold Coast in after all.
• Could help placate those who think South is not Greek enough. 

Points Against

• His involvement might well mean the privatisation of the club, a move which our members have been historically opposed to.
• Has no known background or prior interest in sport.
• His Greekness could be used against us by those who claim we aren't open to others outside our Greek heritage.
• Alleged links to elements of organised crime.
• Hostile attitude to certain parts of the media.
• Is a fictional character from a children's comic book series.

As you can see, there are good arguments on both signs of the ledger. Just have to wait and see what, if anything, comes out of this scenario. There have been similar claims made before that people are ready to come in and put their considerable wealth and business nous to work for the South cause, and so far these predictions have never come true.

South of the Border Awards 2011

Player of the year: Carl Recchia. This was a close run thing in my mind. Considering how many players were absent for extended periods throughout the season, as well as the fact that we used over 30 players during the season, ultimately I had to look for the most versatile, most determined and most valuable player, and Carl was that person this season. With apologies to Zaim Zeneli, who did a good job in goals as an unknown quantity; Jesse Krncevic, who scored lots of goals but could have scored more had he been on the field; and Kyle Joryeff, who I marked harshly last season, but was this season's biggest improver.

Under 21 player of the year: The Cliff Hussey Memorial Trophy goes to Jake Vandemey and Josh Colosimo. Yeah, I know, ties suck. But also, wow, this was hard to pick again. Despite churning through a few young players, not many of them got an extended go, and those that did - Kamahl Ibrahim and Kliment Taseski - didn't impress me all that much - please no more more loaning of young playesr when we have our talent to draw on. Even the under 21s team went through a mountain's worth of players. Injuries and defections

The reason I pick these two lads, is because even though they spent most of the season not even playing for South, and instead participating in a league several notches lower in terms of standard, their willingness to see their tenure at Hobart Olympia as an opportunity rather than as a barrier to their ambitions to play senior football in the VPL. They certainly seemed to provide a positive influence on a previously struggling Olympia outfit both on the field and off it with their professional attitude.

Goal of the year: Kyle Joryeff, against Bentleigh round 2. The obvious choice would be Jesse Krncevic's effort against Northcote, round 22. There were some good free kicks and such along the journey, but Joryeff's control, turn and shot for what turned out to be the winning goal in the game was an early season highlight of mine.

Best performance: Oakleigh away, during the home and away season. We thoroughly deserved the win, and only conceded a goal from a stupid free kick.

Best away game of the year: Purely from a fan's point of view, and disregarding the result and the frankly woeful performance, the semi-final loss against Oakleigh. A good crowd, and South fans created a terrific atmosphere. It was great to have Lefteri back this year as well. Hopefully we see him at plenty of away games next season also.

Call of the year: "Northcote have received so much money from us over the past two years that they should have 'South Melbourne' on the front of their shirts". Probably a bit harsh, but at least it was memorable and more than just a little insightful.

Chant of the year: Maybe I missed some really good ones not being near Clarendon Corner, but I reckon it'd have been hard to top this one. When Ljubo Milicevic had a decision go against him in the home game against Springvale White Eagles, the chant went up 'the referee's an Anglo'. Classic. Runners up were Clarendon Corner chanting my name early in the season, and MCF's effort against Cobram Victory in the Mirabella Cup. "Give me a 'C', give me an 'O', give me a 'B', give me an 'R', give me an 'A', give me an 'M', what does spell? INCEST!" Crude, tasteless, wonderfully oldskool

Best after match dinner location: Look, it has to be during the season proper. Otherwise the Hellenic Club in Hobart would have won this hands down (and even the call of the year for tha matter). But the Hot Space Szechuan Bar in Russell Street makes a fiery but awesome gung po chicken that even manged to stop Steve from Broady from shoveling it down in his usual reckless manner. How about that? Consecutive years of spicy chicken dishes win this title.

Friends we lost along the way: Aussie Disposals blue/white no.2. What a piece of crap umbrella that was. Carked it upon opening against some team or other. Supermercado; don't think we saw him any any game this year. Wherever you are Mercs, please come home, we miss you.

Lynchy, Lynchy, Lynchy

If you ever get a chance to listen to the Martin/Molloy skit 'Gordon Gordon', a parody of a certain strain of AM talkback radio programming, you'll come across the bit where they have an old fogie of a television reviewer as part of the regular guests.

The catch is, of course, that the quality of the programs he's reviewing are in no way related to what was on screen; rather, all the programs are judged by the quality of the food and wine at the relevant launch, as well as the gifts that all the press members at the launch receive. Hence, a Channel Nine program gets rave reviews, while a Channel Seven program gets slammed because of the crap food on offer and the keyring which fell apart as soon as he got home.

All of which leads to the point of this article. So, after the Twitter stoush between The Age's top-flight only soccer writer Michael Lynch and curmudgeonly academic Ian Syson, Lynch somehow managed to get one over the editorial top brass and sneaked in some VPL paragraphs into his regular reporting. The fact that we were supposed to be grateful for any coverage didn't seem to get past Lynch. It also didn't seem to get past the FFV, who invited Lynch to their Gold Medal night.

The photographic evidence in Goal Weekly seemed to indicate that Lynch had a pretty good time, and they even let him present the Bill Fleming Medal for the soccer press' player of the year to Richie Cardozo. Meanwhile as a holder of a media pass, which includes writing match reports and such, and even the occasional article for Goal Weekly, I'm still waiting for my voting slip. For the record, I would have voted for Andy Vlahos by the way, because of the added coaching responsibilities he undertakes in addition to his excellent season.

Anyway, I'm just about over the nonsensical situation of having a guy who admits he doesn't know when games are on because he hasn't been told - even though he's on the South Melbourne mailing list for example - getting feted like a king by the football authorities. Just about over that is, until I was informed about this little exchange on Twitter.

Michael Lynch @ KopThatWyld 4K for a Grand Final is disappointing. Maybe not the level of support that some assume - or was it just 2 lesser supported team

Ian Syson @MickLynch_Age @KopThatWyld #VPLcoverage ML, you gave some good coverage in recent weeks but 4K to a GF that received nil promo is quite ok.

Ah, Lynchy, couldn't help yourself could you? Nevermind that there was, as noted by Syson, basically zero promotion; that even though the game was played on a catch up week for most leagues, it was still played in direct opposition to most of those catch up games; that an offer of four free tickets to other clubs was only emailed late; that despite having two poorly supported sides in the final, the game still managed to have an increase of about 2000 spectators on the previous season's crowd, which also featured two poorly supported clubs.

No; despite the many things anyone could come up with to mitigate the supposed 'poor crowd', you still felt you needed to put down the VPL to try and score a personal point. And the FFV must feel great for having invited you to their annual aren't we awesome piss-up. Hell, half the people in the FFV offices have probably been to as many Victorian league matches as you have anyway. What you and they do is just a job - I mean, why should anybody working in such a field actually care about soccer after they clock off at the end of the working week?

Video showing the creation of the track at Lakeside

Enjoy.

Wow. Just wow.

So, last night the club MVP was awarded for 2011. And it was a tie. Half of that tie was Jesse. The other half was Topa. Did not see that coming. I know we had a screwed up season, but wow. Might need to add something to the list of dumb AGM questions.

2011 MVP Night tonight

Late notice I know.

It's on at 7pm at Honey Bar, 45 Clarendon Street, South Melbourne. Entry is $30.

I'm out. Bit sick at the moment.

FFV works hard for the money

I don't endorse football violence, or referee abuse which borders on the psychopathic, or any other moronic behaviour which brings the game into disrepute. Discipline should be dished out, and goodness knows there are still people out there who just don't get it, and never will get it.

But the FFV, in its self-professed quest to clean up the game, has become increasingly reliant and addicted to the hefty monetary punishments it doles out to clubs, even to those with long incident free stretches, and whose reputations have been sullied not by large scale riots but by the actions of individuals.

If a club can legitimately make the claim that it did all in its power to prevent an issue from coming up, how responsible can they be held for the actions of their supporters, especially infrequent spectators? The question has been asked - how can a club prevent something happening at the potentially half dozen grounds its youth teams in particular might be playing at during any given week?

If fines in the realm of tens of thousands of dollars for first offences become the norm, what can clubs expect for second offences? That's if they survive of course. Clubs at a certain level will be able to grit their teeth and get through, but clubs in the provisional leagues playing in open park lands?

But that's a debate for soccer-forum. What I'm more concerned and interested in is in here.

By 4pm on Monday, 04 September 2011, the Maribyrnong Greens SC shall identify the name and contact details of:

• (a) The individual who ran onto the ground with a corner flag at the above name fixture.(b) The individual who posted comments on the Facebook page of Abbas Allafta as referred to in this Tribunal hearing (31/08/2011).

Failing either of these the Club will be charged with Misconduct by the FFV.

FFV CEO Mark Rendell; whatever you do, don't fall asleep

.

So now the FFV is hunting people down by reading Facebook pages. Well, at least we know what they're doing now when they can't seem to organise a cup tournament properly. The two marquee teams are forced to pull out; you've set aside no dates for the fixtures; you mistakenly put teams from zone into another, despite coming up with the zone system yourselves; you even forget to put one of the entrants into the comp at all; but stalking clubs and people on Facebook? Too easy.

What next? Hanging out in pubs with supporters? Hiring private investigators to play for teams? Find a way of trying to get into people's dreams. And knowing the FFV, it wouldn't be a stylish homage to the late Satoshi Kon and Paprika, it'd be more like an even worse sequel to Nightmare on Elm Street than that horrible Wes Craven's New Nightmare which Channel 9 buried after midnight a couple of times.

Just got to keep watch on what we say and how we say it everywhere nowadays, because churlishness and faux-nostalgia aside, this seems like an organisation willing to go to lengths unknown to achieve its goals, whatever those goals happen to be.