Happy Birthday Hellas - South Melbourne 0 Heidelberg United 3

Lately you seem like another language 

Are you in trouble, are you in trouble again

And you know how they say

The past is a foreign country

How can we go there 

How can we go where we once went

Lately - British Sea Power

Photo: Luke Radziminski.

As best as I can tell from what research has been done on this matter, the Hellas club (minus the South Melbourne part, which would arrive a few months later, but we of course count the '59 date,. not '60) was born on August 16th, 1959. So if this post is a little late in arriving, it at least matches up with the fact that our official 60th anniversary game was also late - a few weeks after the actual birth of our club.

The day started off with literal warning sirens in the social club before the main game, and a mandatory visit by the local fire brigade to make sure that there was nothing wrong, and then they left. No one moved, no one was alarmed. It was dreamlike, unreal. It had also apparently happened the day before at the women's game, probably with much the same outcome.

A different kind of alarm bell rang out after the game, one that's been ringing out for at least the past couple of years, and which has had about the same effect and has elicited the same reaction as the fire alarm going off in the social club. Maybe a few raised eyebrows, but not much action in response. "Doomed!" they scream, "we' doomed!". Well, maybe. It's always a case of wait and see for South fans, because apart from the odd banner or "sack the board" chant, there's not exactly been action. What there is a lot of is a kind of waiting for a new board and alternative direction to materialise from out of nowhere, as if a better committee and way of doing things exists in occultation, waiting to emerge at the people's most desperate hour. Maybe times are desperate enough.

Our 60th anniversary season could only really end like this, with the cliched proverbial "not a bang, but a whimper". The threatened rain kept away, the sun shone its warmth, and there were more people in row H than the previous week; but otherwise, the post-Taylor malaise continued. Ten years ago, for our 50th anniversary, the on-field stuff wasn't crash hot either - remember, we only just snuck into the finals, after two seasons of having missed them - and there was a similar (if not quite the same) sense of general doom about the club's future, notwithstanding the then pending redevelopment of Lakeside.

Yet somehow, maybe it's not just misplaced nostalgia that afflicts us now compared to then; at least the 50th anniversary had as a feature a grand gala ball, the Les Murray write up, three heritage jerseys... Sunday had Mike Mandalis and Jimmy Armstrong (two of the few regular old players to still visit Lakeside) on the field, an informal VIP gathering on the balcony, maybe some kind of function for volunteers, and a band later on. It was as low-key as low-key can get, hopefully only because more emphasis will be placed the '98 and '99 championship reunion, and not because we were a bit afraid that we might get relegated this season.

Before the game our players booted free balls into the stand, which came across as both not a good omen - keep the ball in play, even if it's only pretend - but also just begging for an insurance payout ala Saverio Rocca getting sued by Philadelphia Eagles fan after he punted a ball into the stand during a family day gig.

The Bergers dominated us on our turf. We barely threw a punch, putting in one of our tired, listless and unimaginative performances for the season, one which was a long way from the opening half and hour humiliation we dished out to the same team at the halfway mark of the season. The Bergers threatened from the start, missing a gilt-edged chance, scoring from an offside play that was called offside, and then scoring from an offside position and having it count. After that, they coasted, being nothing more than perfectly in control and disciplined. What difference did it make if they scored two more goals after that, or four? The way we were playing, we weren't likely to score any.

Leigh Minopoulos came off the bench for one last hurrah before retirement, hoping to break his duck for 2019. It didn't happen, and his final season at South will be remembered mostly for the assist he provided for Brad Norton's first goal in two season's, which gave us a win away to Knights. Kristian Konstantinidis also came off the bench, in what most are assuming will also be his last game in a South shirt, though nothing has been officially announced, only heavily hinted at. Nikola Roganovic, also possibly playing his game (again) in a South shirt, came up for an attacking corner, and made a good run at the ball, but missed making contact with the cross - which is probably for the best, as he was still wearing his cap at the time.

Getting beaten heavily by our oldest and most traditional rival on our turf, with them sealing the minor premiership is not ideal, but it could have been worse, and that's the sorry bit of grace that I'm holding into the off-season. There was a sardonic chant for the internally suspended (and not sacked, yet) Pep Marafioti, there was mirth when Heidelberg coach George Katsakis copped a yellow card when it was still 0-0, and some half-arsed chanting. Lefteri's son brought out his father's trumpet and jacket in lieu of his old man's absence, we marveled at the fact that all three bottom teams won and that it meant nothing, and that's about as much as we got out of the day. Did we even meaningfully test their keeper?

After the game as the band hired to play after the game spent 45 minutes doing a half-arsed sound check, I went to order a meal platter to share with my buddy Gains, only to be told that they weren't doing them. So after chewing the fat for a while with a few folk, doing the elongated "see ya next season" with a few more people - and hanging around until Dave got his partner's pretzel money - me and Gains went down to a newish Mexican place on Clarendon Street, where our mere presence turned a near empty restaurant into a cult hangout within the space of an hour. True story.

Think back, looking forward
For mine, the season could've gone a lot worse - we avoided relegation a lot earlier than we did last season (admittedly a very competitive year on that front), and managed to pick up two more wins than we did with a much less capable squad. Unfortunately, none of that will be pleasing to anybody, though quite what can be done about it under the circumstances

It's the first time since 2008 that we've missed the finals two years in a row - and let's not forget that we only just squeezed into the finals in 2009 by the skin of our teeth. We scored just 27 goals in 26 games, our lowest goal-scoring rate probably since the disastrous 1979 season, where we scored only 26 goals from 26 games (in 1977 we also scored just 27 from 26). While we beat the Bergers and Bentleigh, the only other points we could manage against the eventual top six was a couple of draws against Gully.

We lost three games out of four against the eventual bottom two, losing twice against Kingston and once against Pascoe Vale. Throughout the season, at certain times during games we would look fluid and dangerous; that kind of play though would seldom last long enough, the team often going into its shell, especially when it would concede soft goals against the run of play. Neither was there an identifiable and consistent game plan evident at any point during the year. Lineups changed not only due to suspensions and injuries, but just as often due to the imperceptible whim of whoever was coaching.

Con Tangalakis may have been the right (or most foolhardy) option to get us out of the mess (just) we were in last year, but the process of his eventual appointment, his overseeing a pre-season which never settled on a starting XI, the eventual sputtering, striker-less start to the season, and his probably forced resignation in the face of board (and I assume also senior player) displeasure left us in a difficult position early in the season. The appointment of Esteban Quintas as coach came across to some laypeople as the worst kind of decision, lacking any sort of ambition. Quintas and the team managed on the whole to improve the team's results and guide the team to safety earlier than what had occurred last season, but that's about all that can be said about his reign.

Despite being affected by cost-cutting, our recruiting on the whole was strange. We wasted our two visa spots on defensive midfielders, only one of whom - Kosta Stratomitros, when he wasn't injured - had any positive impact. We basically had zero strikers for most of the season. The ultimate utility player George Howard pinch-hit without success; Pep Marafioti was all left-foot and wasteful finishing; Nick Krousoratis started like a house on fire, and then fire brigade turned up and put him out; Billy Konstantinidis was a bust, who looked fantastic at times, and disinterested and frustrated at others.

The midfield lacked direction and meaningful leadership. Too many wingers, and not enough captaincy. Schroen was given an impossible task, and failed to make it work. Sometimes he made things worse, and copped the brunt of supporter frustration as the year went on. Defensively the only bright spots were the improvement of Jake Marshall at centre-back, and Ben Djiba being one of the few South youth team players who earned his spot and kept it. If Djiba was not quite a revelation at right-back, at least he was not a liability.

There will be a host of players leaving one feels, though no one knows for sure what the numbers will be. Probably Quintas will stay as coach. The ambition, as stated by the board., is play the youth, and acquire a spine to assist them. We'll see how it goes.

Next game and usual off-season blurb
I'm loathe to say that the blog will be taking a step back, because it's been a pretty laid-back affair anyway in 2019, with many half-arsed match reports and late publishing efforts. Thank goodness Sour Grapes was there to take up the slack.

But in the off-season meantime, I will be handing out my awards, I'll be catching up with some book reviews, and there'll be some artefacts and such, so there will be content on South of the Border to keep things ticking over.

One assumes the usual senior men's cobweb-blowing-out shenanigans will kick off in December, and we've been promised an AGM before this calendar year is done. For those who'll miss my wit and charm, as well as the soothing sound of my voice, all those things will still be available on If You Know Your History on Thursdays on Football Nation Radio, or afterwards if you don't catch the show live.

Until then, there's at least one more week for the senior women's team (see below for details).

Women's team
As has become my unfortunate custom this season, I intended to go to this game, but my role as weekend chauffeur has made things difficult this season. I even missed the first fifteen minutes of the live-stream against Bayside United because I was helping my mum pick olives off a the neighbours tree - first off the branches that were hanging on our side of the property line - and then later standing in their front yard, without the express written consent of the NFL (or whatever the relevant authority is for these things).

When I did manage to tune in, I wasn't particularly impressed with what I saw. The standard wasn't too flash, and our side looked listless, tired even. That's understandable - it's been a long and difficult season with a young squad, and the midweek draw against second last NTC had brought the team to the brink of missing the finals. And when an error from the goalkeeper gifted Bayside the opening goal, that was pretty much the season cooked, or so it seemed, negating the fact that Heidelberg were behind in their game against Box Hill being played at the same time.

But though the second half wasn't much better - and the defence tried to gift Bayside turnovers far too often - South somehow found a way to score twice. It depended on some grinding, workhorse individual efforts rather than stunning team interplay, but you take what you can get - and that includes a ripper save from the keeper to keep South's finals chances alive.

Those finals chances will come down to the final match of the home and away season on Sunday afternoon at 3:00PM, where South will take on Heidelberg at Lakeside. We're currently one point ahead of Box Hill United, and one point behind the Bergers. Box Hill's goal difference is too rank to see them have an impact on the finals race despite their accumulation of points. Only a win will see us through.

An unusual turn of events
The South Melbourne player development machine rolls on, albeit in this case via an unusual detour.

Training session turned fairy-tale ❤️

Brett Ratten delivers some life-changing news to our latest @AFLW elevation, Caitlin Greiser. pic.twitter.com/733jGWNC93

— St Kilda FC (@stkildafc) August 26, 2019

Two years ago Greiser played a pivotal role - especially in the absence of star striker Melina Ayres - in securing South an NPLW grand final title against Geelong Galaxy out at Broadmeadows. Two years on, and she's going to be playing in the top-grade in a different sport. It's a mad world in women's sports, but South of the Border wishes Caitlin all the best, except when she plays against Collingwood.

We'll meet again / Don't know where / Don't know when 
It's goodbye for now to Kingston City and Pascoe Vale. Though both won their final round matches - with Kingston even racing out to a 4-0 lead over Hume within half an hour - Dandenong Thunder also won their game, meaning Thunder secured the relegation playoff spot against an as yet undetermined NPL2 opponent.

As for who's coming up? At this stage the only certainty is Eastern Lions. NPL2 West in particular is very competitive, and we won't know either the automatically promoted side nor the playoff contenders until the conclusion of this week's final round on Sunday. Those cheering for the disappearance of CB Smith Reserve from our NPL alongside Pascoe Vale may even have their celebrations cut short by the possibility of another CB Smith tenant coming up, in the form of Moreland Zebras.

Even those of us celebrating the seeming absence of Monday night football in 2020 will have to wait and see if Bulleen avoid making the jump back up to our division.

Final thought
I know it would've screwed up so much of the season's planning, but we should've rescheduled our final round game for father's day.

Arrive at the ticket booth for a well-attended soccer match two minutes before kickoff, then leave five minutes before the end of the game, regardless of the score, in order to "beat the traffic". https://t.co/fD9t03cxHx

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) August 27, 2019

South claim WNPL title over Geelong Galaxy in dramatic grand final

Despite the senior men starting pre-season in late November 2016, the 2017 South season just doesn't end, and so we - the few, the proud, the geeky - found ourselves out at Broadmeadows for WNPL grand final day. I got there early enough to see almost all the under 18s final, which South lost 2-0 to Calder United. It was an uphill battle for most of the game for the South girls, who trailed 2-0 at the break and took a long time to get going in this game. They were up against the bigger bodied opposition which didn't help matters, but they fought their way until the end and had they snatched a goal late, things may have have ended up differently. As it was, Calder were the better side by some margin

The bombshell news before the senior grand final was that the league's golden boot winner Melina Ayres would be out, reportedly at the behest of the national youth squad selectors who did not want her playing and further aggravating a calf injury she had picked up while training with them. It left a sour taste in the mouth, but one had to have confidence in the rest of the squad which had done so well this season. And besides which, we had the services of the Matildas' all time leading scorer in the form of Lisa de Vanna.

Lisa De Vanna shields the ball from a Geelong opponent. De Vanna was a crucial element of the championship win, even if at times her teammates went all mid 1990s Collingwood with her by looking to pass to her at every opportunity, as did those Magpie players of that era with Nathan Buckley. Photo: Mark Avellino.

After a sluggish start from both sides, it was De Vanna who put us ahead early on when she smashed a low cross from Natalie Martineau into the roof of the net. Still better was to come, with De Vanna setting up a shot for Jamie Pollock, only to have that effort sharply diverted with a header into the back of the net by Martineau. 2-0 is never a done and dusted scoreline, especially only half an hour in. This is perhaps especially true in the women's game at this level where shifts of momentum can be quick and devastating.

And thus in the second half, Antonia Niteros gave away an unnecessary penalty which was converted by former South player Laura Spiranovic, and soon enough Geelong were level when South keeper Molly-May Ramsay misjudged her positioning and saw a shot curl around her from distance into the far corner. Times like that you think the game is going to slip away, but the introduction of Caitlin Greiser off the bench, along with renewed resolve from the South players saw us get on top in the final ten minutes of regular time.

Caitlin Greiser tries to win the ball from a Galaxy opponent. Photo: Mark Avellino

We hit the woodwork four times. We should have stormed over the top of them. And while Greiser was the main culprit, missing one sitter in particular, saying something like we would've won easily if Ayres was playing is a bit of a misnomer - the chances were there were to be taken, and we didn't do it. So the game went into extra time, and this time Greiser found herself at the back post and made no mistake. 3-2 up early in extra time, and looking good, only to cough up another equaliser. So as it was two years ago when South last played in and won a women's Victorian top flight grand final, the game was off to penalties.

One got the feeling of an immense injustice about to take place, but we worked our way to a two goal buffer in the shoot-out; only to try and Melbourne Croatia 1991 grand final our way out of the game by botching our chance to finish Galaxy off. When De Vanna stepped up to take our fifth penalty, it just looked wrong. Galaxy keeper Emily Kenshole had been doing a good job in the shoot-out, and she easily saved De Vanna's tentatively placed effort. Skipper Alex Cheal stepped up in the sudden death round, and though among some of the watchers in our behind the goals group thought that this would be another Michael Eagar/Palm Beach 2015 moment. But Cheal put her penalty away, and then Geelong had their next effort saved easily by Ramsay.

120 minutes and still no winner, so now into the shoot-out. No one here seems particularly confident. Photo: Mark Avellino.

It was fitting but also pleasing that Greiser scored the decisive penalty in the shoot-out. The striker has been understandably overshadowed by Ayres' goal scoring feats this season, but got into enough good positions to win the grand final on her own and yet came away with just the one goal. Credit to Greiser though, she held her nerve brilliantly and placed the ball out of reach of the goalkeeper, who had done a good job of guessing where our penalties were headed. And thus South won the title, adding 2017 to our previous wins in 2011, 2014, and 2015, and the enforced State League 1 title from 2016 - although to be fair, the 2011-2015 titles were done under the auspices of the SMWFC.

Tiff Eliadis was awarded best on ground, and she was a worthy recipient. She was important at first in midfield, and then in defence later in the game. It also wouldn't be a South championship without the trophy coming apart upon presentation, and that was the case again yesterday as the base came free right on cue. Later on the team and some of its well-wishers returned to the social club. The kitchen was closed, but the bar was open, and there were pizzas from Blue Room up the road, and later unfortunately from Pizza Hut. Nevertheless the vibe was good, and why wouldn't it be? You'd just won one of the most dramatic grand finals by the skin of your teeth.

But all's well that ends well! Trophies, pennants, and big smiles all round for a fine season. Photo: Mark Avellino.

It's in the nature of women's football (so far as my observations go) that at this stage of its development that teams are less cynical in their play than the men, and are always looking to attack rather than defend. Even so, this South team from what I've seen of it is even more obsessed with scoring goals over not conceding than even that stereotype of women's football allows. Some of the keener watchers of this team put that down in part to the coaching of Socrates Nicolaidis, and I like to think that somewhere in that influence is a bit of the old, classic South - the one which sought not just to win, but to attack, to fear no team. If the men's team under Chris Taylor has understandably taken on a more pragmatic approach during its run of success, then it's at the very least pleasing that in the women's teams and in the juniors, the old South ethic of winning and winning well is kicking on.

The grand final win however will no doubt annoy many of the other teams. Few if any of them wanted South included in the WNPL this season, crying both for lack of depth in the local women's game as a whole, but also for what they perceived as favourable treatment from FFV in us getting in at all after we missed out on the inaugural WNPL intake in 2015. For those who kept the faith, especially those players who remained with South during our short WNPL exclusion period, yesterday's triumph will be especially gratifying.

Just quietly, too, this grand final was a cut or two above that 2015 decider at the Veneto Club, a messy and mistake riddled game. Geelong had given our women a good run for their money throughout the 2017 season, twice drawing 3-3 with us and losing the other game we played in circumstances which could've easily led to another 3-3 draw. While I think we deserved to win this game both on the balance of the day and on the balance of the season, Geelong would be devastated knowing they that threw everything they had at us and it still not being enough. Still, those of their supporters in the crowd were good sports about the whole thing, and there was a great feeling after the game at the entertainment which had been provided by both teams.

Those who weren't there missed an entertaining game of a good quality. Those who were there maybe just for the day for a bit of fun, saw themselves perhaps being surprised by how much they cared by the end.

FFA Cup semi-final ticketing news
Details have finally been released by the club.

If you haven't received an email about it yet, head here for a rundown of what's been announced so far.

Please keep all comments about ticketing for that game in that thread and not in this one.

Around the grounds
Double dose of joy and despair
The Saturday before last I headed out to Port Melbourne for a couple of state league promotion/relegation playoffs. These are my favourite fixtures in the Victorian soccer calendar. There's something on the line, and you get two sides playing against each other, on a neutral venue, who are of a roughly equivalent level but who may seldom if ever meet because of geography. And unlike a similar meeting in an FFA Cup game, the rewards are a bit more tangible, if modest. For clubs at this level, it's not the wishy-washy 'promise' of the impossible getting to the FFA Cup round of 32, but rather the more tangible and hard-earned slog of getting promoted up the Victorian soccer pyramid.

First up was Ashburton against Dingley Stars. Ashburton had been relegated to State League 4 under the stewardship of former coach (and one time South player) Steve O'Dor, but had done well enough to earn their way through to a promotion playoff. For Dingley - the old Southern Stars, who were in turn the old Dingley - a loss would mean another relegation. First things first - the temperature was up in the high 20s, which was going to play havoc with the fitness of both sides, especially if the game was going to go the distance into extra time and penalties. Secondly, it's not often you get two sets of bantering, chanting supporters to a game at Port. Usually it's the 50 old blokes who are hanging on to Port for grim life and maybe whatever of Clarendon Corner or MCF decided to turn and try and create some atmosphere. No aggro here, just good old fashioned passion.

I'm not going to pretend the skill level was the greatest, but at least the two teams got to play on a pretty decent surface and provided a very entertaining contest, and well with the $5 entry fee - because the weather was so nice, I'd left my media pass at home in my good jacket, but no gripes from me. Ashburton looked to attack on the wings, Dingley with balls over the top. It was one of those balls over the top that gave Dingley the lead, as the lofted through ball ended up being misjudged by the Ashburton keeper and bouncing over him into an empty net. In the second half Ashburton had the breeze and appeared to be taking control of the game. They drew level thanks to a deep cross to the back post, and that moment it looked like momentum was such that Dingley would get overrun.

But Dingley worked their way back into the game, and the game went into extra time. If one was to say who deserved to win it in normal time, it'd have been Ashburton, but they didn't take their chances. Yet it was Dingley who found the breakthrough in extra time, a cut back from the right being bundled into the back of the net for an own goal. But Ashy wasn't finished yet, and managed to get another equaliser, from a corner if memory serves me correct, their many corners before that point being almost all garbage. The penalty shoot out saw both teams supporters congregate behind the Williamstown Road goals. Dingley were the better team here, winning the shoot-out 4-2, leaving Ashy to wonder what if - but at least they were good sports about it. Just a pity that I don't think anyone was there to film this game.

The second fixture was State League 4 Sebastopol vs State League 3 Fawkner (the seniors of the junior wing, not the original senior wing which ended up at Mannginham). This game was a major let down after the previous one. Both sides were ordinary. Sebastapol had the better territory, but were ineffective in attack. Fawkner were solid at the back, but couldn't really get the ball forward. About 25 minutes in, Fawkner finally managed to get the ball upfield, and scored a very easy goal. That didn't improve the game in any way, and it took a dog's breakfast of a goal for Sebastopol to get level midway throough the second half, a series of headers from an uncleared corner ending up with one being looped over the Fawkner keeper.

Fawkner went down to ten men, and then survived an almighty keeper mistake to send the game into extra time. Not much happened in extra time, unless you count Sebastopol also going down to ten men, Fakwner cracking a shot into the crossbar from six yards after the keeper spilt the ball, and Blue Thunder doing a lousy job of preempting the problems that would arise from the rowdy Sebastopol support behind the goals which was liquored up and launching unceasing vitriol at certain Fawkner players. You can bet that if that was Clarendon Corner they would've had the security teams out there from the start, but for some reason it took one of the Fawkner defenders getting into slanging match with the Sebastopol support for security to cotton on the issue.

The game went into penalties, and Sebastapol won the shoot-out 4-2 to win promotion to State League 3. Unlike the earlier game, which was finished in a very sporting manner, the Sebastapol supporters and certain Fawkner players almost came to blows on the non-social club side of the players race, with security reacting very slowly. I'm not quite sure how it didn't kick off, but credit to those who few people from both sides who managed to assert their authority and eventually calm the situation down.

Final thought
Trivial as it may seem, and loathe as I am to finish on a sour note, it was disappointing not to see any members of the senior men's team in support of the senior women.

Monday night football still sucks - Kingston City 1 South Melbourne 2

Like last week, the collective amorphous 'we' chose some less than ideal spots to watch this game from, the second half less worse than the first because at least it had some elevation. But, and this is so good, having decided at the last moment to move around to a different sport from where we had been, Milos Lujic's goal 30 seconds into the game was missed by the lemming ensemble. No matter, just because we didn't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't count.

At the same time, we had to deal with a bloke wearing a South scarf being escorted rather unwillingly out of the ground by security/ground marshals. We had seen this gentleman banging away at the back of one of the benches, not incoherently but quite clearly to the rhythm of a traditional Hellas chant. Only later did we learn that he happened to be Gavin De Niese's dad, but also that he'd thrown a bin over the South bench. One suspects he may have just received the news that his son, who has not been able to break out of the under 20s side, is to be let go - but that is just me being speculative.

[disputed remnants of Clarendon Corner intolerable in-joke digression - as one wit noted, no one thought we'd top the 'wet socks' fiasco from last week during the rest of the season, but here we are a week later with 'bingate'.]

The first half settled into a pattern of stupid but funny UFO related chants and the team playing pretty well. Some better crossing (even though it wasn't so bad this week as compared to last), someone waiting to pounce on the loose ball, and even a bit more luck for Milos would have seen us go ahead by two or three goals. Lujic's quick header in particular was one of those moments where you feel that last year he would've scored the same thing, but it's not worth being harsh on an opportunity that came onto him so quickly.

Anyway, because we didn't score, Kingston did. They relied a bit more on the counter attack then I thought they would, and they'd usually try to shoot from longer range than they perhaps needed to. But since we were unable to get the ball back into the mixer with as much reliability as we should have - perhaps it would've been better to have Matthew Foschini instead of Jesse Daley in that role - Kingston were entitled to try and absorb pressure, being under siege as they were, and relying on pace to get them up the field.

The one time they did get proper close to goal, former South man Chris Irwin latched on to a good pass and made the most of an out of shape back line to slot it past Nikola Roganovic. Some people (not me, for once) must have felt at the time that it was a crime to have let him go, and wasn't it amazing what he could do when not coming off the bench in the 93rd minute as a time-wasting sub.

Not that one felt that we couldn't get the lead again, but it sucked to have conceded even against a nimble and pacey attack like Kingston's. The second half was more of the same as far as I'm concerned except that, as noted earlier, perhaps our vantage point behind the goals at the eastern end of the ground was not the best place to watch the game from for analytical purposes.

It was the best place from which to see Marcus Schroen blast the ball over from range when a low drive would have done the job with the Kingston keeper way out of position. It was also a good place to watch the home side's defense block shots off the line. It was also, sadly, a magnificent position from which to watch Lujic miss an absolute sitter, which looked much worse from behind the goals than it did from the live feed - and it looked pretty bad from there.

With the People's Champ having played in Stefan Zinni - yes, he's actually back from his A-League sojourn, contrary to some things I had been hearing - the young winger passed the ball across the face inviting Lujic to score into an unguarded goal at the back post. Except that Lujic somehow launched it over the bar and possibly adding to the Westall UFO mystery in the process. At that point you had the feeling that we'd find a way to lose this game, but instead we scored our best team goal of the season. I'm not going to say it was some master class of planning and sequential deliberation - and it was helped by a Kingston player being caught ball watching and not tracking Matthew Millar into the box - but they all count the same.

And what's more, the finish was delightful, Millar calmly chipping the ball over the keeper and getting the ball to be at the right height and velocity to make it impossible for the defenders to clear it. Millar now has six goals in maybe almost as many games. I don't know what to make of it. What I do know however is that the 'Apples' nickname and associated chant is a bloody stupid gimmick and I won't have anything to do with it.

We were a little lucky not to be caught falling asleep at the wheel from a Kingston counter attack - Irwin should have done better with the chance, but he fluffed it, and maybe some people (not me, for once) must have felt at the time that it was hardly a crime to have let him go, and wasn't it amazing what he couldn't do when not coming off the bench in the 93rd minute as a time-wasting sub.

Anyway, we won the game, I've lost track of how many that is on the trot now, and are within three points (or something like that) of top spot in a crowded upper(!) half of the table, And some of people (maybe even me) wanted this entire team thrown on a barge which had been set alight and shipped off down the Yarra and into the ocean, viking style. How times change. Just don't check back in here in the event that next Wednesday night it all goes to crap again.

[By the way, how much would such a barge cost do you reckon? I'm thinking we should get a crowd funding scheme to buy one, so we could chuck the entire Melbourne Rebels organisation onto it and float it out to sea. Whatever it takes to get 'professional' and unnecessary rugby union out of Melbourne]

Next game
Bulleen at home on Sunday, the first of a very long series of home matches. I think Matthew Foschini is going to miss courtesy of pickup up five yellow cards. A few others will have to be careful not to pick up their own fifth yellow card, seeing as how the FFA Cup is on straight after the league game.

FFA Cup news
Our match against Dandenong City has been scheduled for Wednesday May 24th at Lakeside. Get your pitchforks and/or floral tributes ready for either of the scenarios.

Periodic burst of public transport user virtue signalling
The journey there was uneventful, except for the decision to take the winding backstreet path, often through poorly lit streets. The journey back, well... fairly brisk 15 minute walk back to Westall station. Pretty good connection with the next train to the city, except that it only went as far as Caulfield, because of some sort of works. Thus it was on to a replacement bus to South Yarra, not too bad considering it was not an express. Then a quick connection to the next city bound train at South Yarra, unfortunately ending up at the back end of platform 13. Plenty of time to get to platform 4 for 11:58 Sunbury service. Got home some time around 00:30. Good thing I didn't have anywhere to be on Tuesday.

Transfer window open
The transfer window is apparently open. Who knows if we have any loose change to spend, who's going, and where we might look to for reinforcements. I'm reading 'not much', 'Carl Piergianni', and 'who knows?'. Among other things (ie, another striker), the fans seem to want an attacking midfielder - one that isn't Andy Kecojevic, who isn't getting a game anyway, nor the People's Champ, who has been played there as a stop-gap measure at times - and preferably one that isn't cup tied. As noted earlier, Stefan Zinni has returned, having completed his stint at Western Sydney Wanderers - where he didn't get much game time. As a winger, he'll be competing against Leigh Minopoulos, Jesse Daley, and whoever else Chris Taylor likes to throw out on the wing. I don't know about our PPS situation either, but conceivably the club knows what it's doing (all hail the all-knowing club people squirrelling away in the back rooms, and not on the internet) on this front, and thus that won't be a major issue.

Languid
I had been asked by a famous journo friend to attend North Sunshine vs Preston (true story), but I did the right thing and trundled over to Lakeside on Saturday afternoon, through the Shanghai-like haze - now that's bravery for you. And it's not like anything of not happened out at Larissa Reserve anyway, if you know what I mean.

I was at Lakeside to watch the women's team play Heidelberg, which provided the chance for our WNPL side to rack up some goals and boost the plus/minus differential against the struggling visitors. But first there was the issue of lunch. The open souv has changed, more expensive now to distinguish it from the closed/takeaway variant. It's also more in the vein of what'd you get in terms of a plated souv at various Greek restaurants - meat, salad (not the caramelised onion of before), chips, pita, tzatziki on the side. They've also brought in a couple of new craft beers on tap.  But they also trialled brining in some pastries, and this I also pigged out on a very buttery danish. I thought everything was very good, but others may be less impressed by everything. It's not in my nature to complain after all.

Caitlin Greiser has won an athletic scholarship to the US.
Photo: Damjan JanevskiStar Weekly.

The game itself was not lacklustre, but it did lack something. Maybe because both sides have played three games in a week due to cup commitments. Maybe because of no Lisa De Vanna, reputedly dealing with a hamstring injury. Maybe it was because Heidelberg are anchored near the bottom? Probably all three of those reasons contributed.

South dominated this game from start to finish, with Heidelberg rarely mounting a meaningful attack. While South was unlucky to a degree - the girls hit the woodwork a couple of times - it took until the last ten minutes of the half to convert that dominance into goals. When we ended the half 3-0 up, not only was the game cooked, but one began to wonder how many more we'de end up with. As it turned out, the halftime score was also the full time score, as for whatever reason the team wasn't able to convert its mountain of possession into meaningful chances. So, while we chalked up the win we were expected to, it was a missed opportunity in terms of bettering our goal difference. This week our women host the ladder leading Calder at home at 1:30, as the curtain raiser to the men's game against Bulleen.

Today's game won't live long in the memory but the form of @gummmybear3 & @solodoloJOLO has @smfc well placed in the #PS4NPLWVIC title race pic.twitter.com/YtjfGONl20

— Teo Pellizzeri (@teopellizzeri) May 13, 2017

Match programme uploads
I've uploaded some more South vs Newcastle and Newcastle vs South match progammes, including the Michael Schumacher special! Thanks to Todd Giles for those. I've also added the recent Bentleigh vs South programme - it isn't much to look at, but at least it exists - and a Knights vs South programme from 2014 which I had stashed away but had forgotten to upload.
 
I've also added more editions of Soccer News with text recognition (1961 and 1964) after Mark Boric recently updated his collection.

Video uploads
Relive the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles.. in other words, I've finished uploading all the 2005-2007 South Melbourne videos I had at my disposal. Next step is to somehow get access to the Greek Media Groups' archives to get as much of their footage online as possible. Don't hold your breath. Thanks to Box, Gav, and whoever else put these games on DVD in the first place.

Around the grounds
As for the match itself, well...
Decided to walk towards Ralph Reserve from my house, a leisurely 15 minute stroll, for Western Suburbs vs Altona East. About halfway there you could smell the souvs, but wouldn't you know it, when I eventually decided to get one, one of the volunteers threw a tantrum while I was waiting in line and the canteen was unilaterally closed for five minutes. As this was five minutes before kickoff - and it's hard to tweet and eat at the same time - I had to wait until the halftime break. Aside from that, I had to deal with the Bentleigh Peanut Man having a go at me for being a Hellas fan at non-South game, and then becoming chatty with me and offering me a lift back from The Grange to Westall on the next night if I needed one. As for the game itself, pretty freaking ordinary. East will be shattered not only that they lost 4-1, but that they copped the same goal three times.

Final thought
Outside the ground, someone had placed one of those cleaners' "caution - wet floor" signs on the grassy path. Not sure if they were being serious or hilarious.