Sunk by ghost of Hellas past - South Melbourne 1 North Eastern MetroStars 2

The club sandwich at the Limerick Arms is a joke. Scott Tunbridge scored the winner against us ten years down the line from his South stint. And the corneal scarring on my good as gone left eye got inflamed again. All in all, a top day at the soccer.

I'd like to think it wasn't hubris or over confidence on the part of those South fans discussing the costs of heading to Sydney to play Bonnyrigg White Eagles - whom North Eastern MetroStars will meet in the final - more so the need to be prepared in the event of South beating MetroStars and being required to make plans at very short notice, made more complicated and expensive by the fact of the NRL grand final this week. All this while a bee tried to get into the remnants of my gin and tonic, and while Steve From Broady poured himself a beer from the communal jug and made it frothier than an Eaton Mall frap.

For what it was worth, I thought we'd justly be favourites for this game, but victory was hardly an assured thing. Going into a gale force wind and copping an own goal in the first ten minutes or so, not a good start. Barely looking like we'd bothered to turn up, it looked like this was going to get nasty, as the visitors played a skillful and pacy sort of game, while our skill level deserted us. It didn't help that the wind changed direction at halftime, but that'd be short changing the visiting team with the name straight out of Lawn Bowls Rendell's and Old Man Dunkerley's Victorian Champions League Summer Soccer Football competition.

(By the way, how good was it sucking up to Martin Foley again? We'd ditched him for the Liberal Party candidate for his seat once we got the job done with the Lakeside lease arrangement, and then we had some sort of special ceremony for Foley to show that we still loved him, baby. That other woman meant nothing to us. Girl, I do not even remember her name. Pamela or something. It is irrelevant for our purposes.)

That we somehow held on long enough without conceding another goal, and actually managed to work our way into the game whereby our equaliser was unapologetically deserved, was a pleasing development. In typical retrospective sports report fashion though, Jamie Reed's missed penalty doomed the side to lose. Never mind James Musa's effort against the crossbar in the second half which still could have given us the lead - Reed's miss was the clincher.

And if that's being unfair to Reed, in singling him out for blame when there were 92 other minutes of stuff to be done, and considering he'd put in the great cross for Milos Lujic's equaliser, then that's the whole point isn't it, of the aforementioned typically lazy hindsight afflicted match report. Pick a scapegoat, and run with it for all it's worth. A good match reporter, even one that can't really see, would for professional reasons take the time to write a nuanced, relatively objective report.

But I'm not getting paid for this, and I suspect that like the players themselves, the long season - 32 league, cup and playoff games, not to mention the long pre-season - has caught up with all of us. We clapped the players off, disappointed as we all were to witness that kind of end to an otherwise successful season - but with no social club yet to hunker down in, sticking around on the concourse in front of our grandstand, even if there was the women's game to follow, seemed kind of pointless, especially since now my left eye was playing up again.

Four or so hours after I entered the Eye and Ear Hospital's emergency department - and I'm not complaining here about the wait, because there were clearly others with a higher level of priority than me needing care - and having been told that I probably wouldn't be given the anaesthetic drop into my eyeball, because 'we can't keep doing that', which probably had some sound, 'let's not get this guy addicted to steroids' medical reasoning behind it, I stood waiting while the doctors talked about having an absinthe party, and then sat down in the optometrist's chair as we went through what one nurse has previously called the 'fat file' of my left eye's history - retinal detachment, cataract, light sensitivity, ulcer, the herpes simplex virus causing blisters to explode on the surface of the eye with attendant corneal scarring.

The doctor and I agreed that while it was an option which would probably need to be undertaken at some point, removing the eye would be a fairly drastic step, especially as it could cause an auto-immune response in the other eye. So keep taking the ointment and these drops, and come back on Friday. In the end, I was glad to be able to get some sleep. Then I woke up on Monday, watched some NFL, played Grand Theft Auto IV, went and bought a power supply for my brother's computer, and did some reading. That no one seemed to miss me during this delay in getting this post out hurt my fragile ego somewhat. Worse is the horror of having the facade of my affected disaffection swept away so easily.

What now?
I don't know, you tell me. Some pre-season kick and chase, not much on the line kind of affair, some time next year, or very late this year. Who knows? Maybe we'll find a way to get the Lakeside ticketing system running properly. We'll start hearing rumours about players coming and going - it's already started, if you know where to look. There'll also be the gala ball on October 31st. Not sure if I'm going to that yet, though I suppose it would be nice if I went to Merrimu Receptions for something other than my funeral. That's a little inside joke there, by the way, understood by me, SMFC TV cameraman Tim Dovas, and maybe Cuddles.

As for the blog...
The usual deal. We'll (I'll) be slowing down. At some point in the next two weeks, I'll hand out some awards. I'll put out the odd book review, try and find some historical artefacts to put up, and thank everyone that needs to be thanked at the end of the year. There'll also be an AGM, and hopefully news of the social club beginning to take shape - and even though it may create the most hits for this site, I'm hoping for a minimal amount of controversy.

Something I thought about while reading a Stewart Lee book recently
Ever had a great idea for a written piece, but you were worried that no-one would publish it? No? How about a slightly above average idea, but had no where to even pitch it? Well, that's the situation I'm in at the moment, whereby I have this idea for a piece - and not just an idea in and of itself, but a means in which to potentially rescue a great but reputedly borderline mean and unpublishable piece, and add to the myriad discussion on all things Australian soccer identities in the post-Lowy, post-multicultural era. And I've found that epithets like 'best Australian soccer writer', 'most underrated', 'funniest', 'most obscure', hell even 'fifth or seventh best Australian soccer writer', or 'one of its worst' - some semi-real, some of which I may have made up about myself - mean close to nothing. What's the point of this hard earned imaginary and/or imagined street cred, when there's no one to turn to get this 'idea' into print (and it needs to be print for aesthetic reasons, if nothing else). So kids, the lessons are. Don't shoot from the hip. Neuter your sense of individuality. Don't upset old people. Play the game.

After much debate, we eventually decided that
the shade of blue of Upfield's playing kit was
most similar to 'Robin Egg Blue'.

Around the grounds
Robin Egg Blue
Ian Syson made the offer of giving me a lift out to neutral Truganina to watch the champions of State League 4 West, Hoppers Crossing, and their North division counterpart Upfield, play off in a post-season finals series. After finding myself in a state of confusion on the importance of this game, I was eventually convinced that both sides had already won promotion regardless of this result, and that this was just part of the process of determining who was the best of the State League 4 sides - so, in short, the stakes were pride. The first half saw Hoppers start off with a bit more polish and vigour, but once Upfield settled down they looked good, putting together some quick passing play. One of those plays, along with a bit of patented individual brilliance saw them open the scoring. Too bad for them they kept giving away fouls, and thus they copped a goal from a set piece. The second half was all Hoppers, as they stormed to a 4-1 win, which could have been more if not for the intervention of the woodwork. Arndell Park, the current home ground of the Truganina Hornets, is not a bad ground, though the addition of an extra lighting pole in between the benches on the outer side would not have gone astray. It wasn't too windy last night, but I can imagine there'd be days where it'd be horrible to watch games there,

Final thought
Things could have gone worse this year.

Hello midseason slump - South Melbourne 1 Goulburn Valley Suns 1

Our annual mid-season slump was probably overdue.

Despite an energetic start by the Suns, we opened the scoring early on thanks to a cracking turn and shot by Tyson Holmes. Just five minutes later horrid defending led to a Suns chance which was finished delightfully.

How would our team respond? By taking a bloody long time to find any sort of rhythm, and spending so much energy bypassing the midfield with hopeful long balls. Yes, Goulburn Valley stacked the defence, but we've got to be smarter than that.

Eventually we did wise up a bit, and towards the end of the half we were getting behind the defence, putting in some dangerous crosses and getting closer to retaking the lead. The out of form Jamie Reed probably should have scored, but was denied twice by the Suns' keeper from close range. We did manage to get the ball into the back of the net for a second time, but Perry Mur called it back for a foul on the keeper.

The second half started OK - Milos Lujic got pulled down inside the box, and we got a penalty. Unfortunately Reed's shot was well saved, and the irony of ironies was upon us - that we had managed to get a penalty against the team which had been getting them almost on a weekly basis, and we couldn't make them pay for it.

Indeed we got the rub of the green on the refereeing front. How Lujic didn't get sent off for that vicious tackle which took out the Suns defender with what looked like a possible broken I have no idea - the sound was sickening, even if it was only the sound of a shinguard.

Unlike the first half bombing effort, we managed to get plenty of balls into the box and started to make better decisions, but the final pass was off, and when it wasn't, the finishing didn't do the job. Injuries also started to appear, with Tim Mala appearing to come off with some sort of injury. Andrew Mullett started in left back in place of the suspended Brad Norton, but was swapped at halftime for James Musa, who did a much better job in that position. Quite how we bungled up that last ditch chance, when the goal seemed to be beckoning will remain a mystery.

'One of those days' has now become two of them, and now the mental resolve of the players will be seriously tested. At the end of the game, one of our fans asked the question 'what did they get out of this game playing the way they did?' and the answer to that is simple - they got a point, a point they perhaps weren't expecting to get, and which in the long run may not be enough to get them out of relegation, but you've got to start somewhere.

Within the space of two matches our lead at the top has gone from nine points down to four, after Oakleigh beat Ballarat away 1-0. Still, halway through the season, I'd rather be four point ahead than four points behind.

Next week
The much improved Heidelberg at home. A derby match with huge stakes - us trying to right the ship before a coincidence becomes a trend, while the Bergers will be trying to keep their at present slim championship hopes alive. Should be a cracker. Hopefully more South fans show up than yesterday - where was everyone?

Under 20s report with Skip Fulton @NPLVic_Football
South Melbourne 3 Goulburn Valley Suns 0

The U20 team continued with their form turnaround this weekend against Goulburn Valley (GV) Suns at Lakeside Stadium. Since a change in management with U15s coach Sasa Kolman coming on board back in May the team has won three of their last four matches. Oakleigh was going to be a big ask last week as they are leading the ladder and are undefeated. A winning return to the field this week was a clear demonstration of team work and individual skill.

Josh Markovski celebrates after scoring the opening goal.
Photo: Skip Fulton

I was diving for the camera and missed the details of Josh Markovski’s effort to open the scoring in the fifteenth minute to put SMFC on the board. I was however able to capture his attention-grabbing salute to the rest of the team in celebration of his goal.

Coach Sasa Kolman was keen to get into the action around the thirty minute mark and rushed on to the pitch to contribute to a robust discussion Ryan Babare was having with the opposition about tackling strategy. Sasa was quick off the mark and showed exceptional pace easily arriving a few metres ahead of the GV Suns coach and about ten seconds before the referee. Disappointingly Sasa didn’t really add much to the conversation but clearly the GV Suns coach agreed with Babare, launching a verbal attack on his own player.

SMFC U20s Coach Sasa Kolman gets into the action on field. Photo: Skip Fulton

Babare was soon again in the action with his free kick near the right corner curling into the goal area narrowly missing a leaping Andy Kecojevic. Passing through the area across the face of goal, it was #42 on the end of it who rifled the return cross (let’s call it a cross and not a shot). Kecojevic with a perfectly timed right foot tagged it into the net for the home team’s second goal. An impressive result considering the pair only had to beat five defenders and the keeper.

Andy Kecojevic taps in a cross to score for SMFC U20s. Photo: Skip Fulton.

After the half-time break, the GV Suns launched themselves into attack applying constant pressure forward and controlling possession of the ball. This dominating display lasted for about twelve minutes before the boys in blue reminded them they were playing the Oceania Team of the Century. Some poor defending allowed a free kick to make it all the way to the keeper and Kecojevic was on the spot to tap it into the top of the net. The referee must have been temporarily blinded by the sun or something as the flag was incorrectly raised for offside robbing Kecojevic of the double.

Shortly after the nameless #42 laid a shot on target that was blocked right on the line. A fast moving Babare was quickly on hand to tap it in taking the score to 3-0 in the sixty first minute. These rest of the match set the scene for the upcoming seniors battle. Controlled possession and attacks into the final third, scoring opportunities but unable to add to the scoreboard.

Overall a good team performance with man of the match going to the nameless #42 with speed down the left flank easily getting in behind the defence. It was the fifth win of the season for the team and the move up the ladder continues. The 20s have leapfrogged Goulburn Valley and are now in eighth.

Next week the team takes on bottom-of-the-ladder Heidelberg United who this weekend got pumped by Dandenong Thunder 7-0. The match at Lakeside Stadium kicks off at 2.45pm and the biggest challenge during the week will be figuring out who #42 is!

Ryan Babare’s action pack game sealed with a goal. Photo: Skip Fulton.

Strange rumour department
Someone on smfcboard has posted the following:

Watch this space...

Oakeligh to potentially lose points for playing an illegally registered player since the start of the season. Player has been sent back to his country by customs. South lobbying ffv to impose a sanction. It's getting dirty...

Στα χαρτιά, as the Greeks are fond of saying.

All right, all right, what's all this then?
Remember when I covered the 2014 jersey night from behind the safety of the protective glass at Beachcomber? Remember how I mentioned that representatives of the South Melbourne Women's FC were in attendance, and wondered if there was a whiff of reconciliation in the air? Well, my interest has been piqued this week by noticing something that's probably been there for a very long time - that the 'women' tab on the official site links to this site.

Match reporter needed for game against Hume next month
There's a very good chance that I'll be heading to Sydney next month for a conference, which will almost certainly mean that I'll miss our home league match against Hume.

In that spirit I'm looking for someone to do the match report on that game for the blog. You can do it in your own way - no need to copy whatever it is that I try to do. You can choose to use your real name or a pen name. All I ask from you is that it is in my email inbox by Monday morning, and that it's on the right side of defamation law.

Your reward? My gratitude, your work read by some famous people, and your name on the blog's hall of fame.

My preference is for a Hellas fan to do it, but if a neutral or even some Croatia fan wants to take a stab at it, I'm not totally against that. Send me an email at
blackmissionary@hotmail.com and we'll sort the details out.

Tram works next week for route 112
Unfortunately the PTV site has gotten rid of tis disruptions page, so I can't recall the exact details, but there's something going on upon that route next week judging by the some of the unclear posters they had at one of the tram stops.

Around the grounds
Spotty character reference
His interest piqued by recent events, and not put off by Mark Boric's less than glowing character reference, Ian Syson wanted to go see a Melbourne City game, so I tagged along for the ride.

The venue is based in an open park, but the playing area has a fence of sorts around it, and is of a decent size. It was also in great nick for a lower league ground.

Hoppers Crossing keeper Shaun Page punches the ball
away. Photo: Ian Syson

In terms of spectator facilities, it's actually a decent little set up they've got going out there - the social club is spacious, clean and full of natural light. It only stretches to about halfway down the field, but there's plenty of shelter for the kind of crowds they're likely to get. The food is limited, but their burger with the lot for $6 isn't too bad, especially when you can even get HP on it (though why the woman behind the canteen then hid the bottle from sight is anyone's guess). $1.50 Chomps also good value.

As for the match itself, Hoppers Crossing were in first place, having won all nine matches, while Melbourne City were nine points behind in third.Standard wise, you probably wouldn't expect much from a State League 4 West clash, but if FootballChaos has taught us anything, it's that there's some good games and players to see even down there. After an even start, Hoppers eventually got on top and ran out 3-0 winners - though they also have their keeper to thank for making three or four clutch saves in about three minutes. Unfortunately, a pall was cast over the game at the end, with the match being called off early after a Hoppers player got seriously injured on the far side.

The clouds looked distant at first, but eventually encircled the ground and laid siege, lightly at first, and then heavily. The Herald and Weekly Times photographer with wearing his cap Lleyton Hewitt style stuck it out for a little bit, but then chickened off undercover. We stuck it until halftime, and then sought shelter. When the rain stopped, we went out once more.

Final thought
It could have been worse - we could have got zero points.