Friday 11th May @ 8.30pm - Hume City (8th) vs South Melbourne (6th)
Epping stadium. The coldest place in the known universe. Fucken gotta trek out there tonight. The stadium where the food is laughable/non-existent, the bar that only sells beer and coffee (wow), and where you need to pay for carpark even though there is nowhere else to park down at that shithole. According to a mate of mine who's in the know, South should be beating Hume 5-0 tonight. He reckons they are rubbish and have been lucky not to have been thumped in their losses. South well, no, we are not Catalan. Pull that Barcelona shit out of ya heads. We are South Melbourne, not Barcelona. Saw Gus' whiteboard last week, or what was left of it. It looked more like a blue board with white spots. The players are not there to think. Players can't think. They just know how to do what they are told. Short sharp pre-game instructions. Not a fucking thesis. The team needs to lift this week and cut the excuses. Play the game how it's meant to be played. The team who scores more, wins the game. Can't score if we don't shoot. Shoot the fucking thing. Hume City 0 - South Melbourne 3.
Friday 11th May @ 8.30pm - Richmond (5th) vs Green Gully (4th)
Richmond was unlucky at Oakleigh last week, when a 93rd minute strike stole what looked like a comfortable win. Green Gully struggled against bottom placed Moreland after trailing 0-1 at the break. Tough one to pick. Richmond ain't too bad at home, and Gully struggles when away. In what will be a nail biter for the 22 or so people at the game (excluding players), Richmond will hold Gully to a draw. Chats, you have one more week of suspension. A little birdy tells me you were in the technical area last week at Oakleigh? Richmond 1 - Green Gully 1.
Saturday 12th May @ 7pm - Southern Stars (9th) vs Oakleigh Cannons (3rd)
Southern Stars shocked the footballing world last week with a 0-2 win at Lakeside against Barcelona. Oops, I mean South Melbourne. CNN had a break in their news broadcast, ESPN cancelled regular programming to cross live, and ANT1 showed the protests on the streets of Athens. They came to Lakeside and played a calculated counter-attacking game and got a brilliant result for them. Oakleigh had to wait three minutes into injury time for Diaco to equalise against Richmond. This will be a tougher than expected trip to the Stars for Oakleigh. Southern Stars 1 - Oakleigh 1.
Sunday 13th May @ 3pm - Moreland Zebras (12th) vs Northcote City (7th)
Fucken Moreland. The cesspool of hasbeens. Send them down already. Stick the money up your arses. Money can buy you a root, but it can't buy you success. Lost away to Gully 2-1 last week, while Northcote lost 1-3 at home to high flying Dandenong. Moreland City 0 - Northcote City 3.
Sunday 13th May @ 3pm - Dandenong Thunder (1st) vs Bentleigh Greens (2nd)
Probably the match of the round. Dandy unbeaten five out of five, Bentleigh only one loss. Someone will win this. I can't see it being a draw. I can't see Bentleigh being the winner. Dandenong Thunder 2 - Bentleigh Greens 1.
Sunday 13th May @ 3pm - Melbourne Knights (10th) vs Heidelberg United (11th)
Knights have won one, Bergers none. Vlahos out, Hodgson in. Hodgson doesn't want the job, Keeper is caretaker. All in two days down at Bergerville. Fucken rabble. If the Knights don't beat them this weekend, then they are for the tip as well. The Bergers are finished. Melbourne Knights 2 - Heidelberg United 1.