Monday, 12 May 2008

No South, no IPL!

Supporters of four time Australian soccer champion South Melbourne have shocked and confused the world of international cricket by calling for their side's entry into cricket's controversial Indian Premier League, claiming that without their inclusion, the league would lack credibility amongst traditional soccer fans.

A spokesman for the group, who wished only to be known as Hellas4eva, had this to say. "South Melbourne is Australia's most successful soccer club, with a proven ability to attain good crowds even with sub standard marketing and administrative leadership. We also have a tremendous history, which would give this new league the credibility amongst the establishment it so sorely needs."

When quizzed about what some commentators have termed as the obvious difficulties of distance and the fact that South Melbourne FC have never had anything to do with cricket, the response remained unequivocally positive. "We have a stadium, we have the fanbase, and with all the money and marketing now available, there is no doubt in mine (sic), nor in any of the other South fans I've spoken to, that we would be a more than worthwhile and successful addition to the IPL. Indeed, we are firmly of the belief that the league will go nowhere without our inclusion."

Fans of the Albert Park based club had previously conducted a "No South, No APL" campaign, in an attempt at protesting South Melbourne's exclusion from the then fledgling A-League, a campaign which fizzled out over time, even as the new league went from strength to strength. Experts have widely tipped the same result for this new effort. One of these experts, who wished to remain anonymous, had this to say. "The IPL has no place for teams like South Melbourne. They would bring up all the ethnic baggage that has been haunting soccer for generations, and from whose shadow that game is only now starting to emerge. Plus, they don't even play cricket."

The organisers of the rogue cricket competition were unavailable for comment.

with apologies and acknowledgments to George for his idea :)


  1. ". . .with a proven ability to attain good crowds . . ."

    Probably the funniest line of a hilarious post.

  2. rofl

    Maybe Neil can make an appearance to boost crowd numbers?

  3. "Maybe Neil can make an appearance to boost crowd numbers?"

    I am too busy at Kevin Bartlett Reserve trying to boost numbers there although I did make an appearance last week at BJS for Richmond's disappointing loss.

  4. Hi Neil, are you planning to cover the AIS-South game in Morwell for Nearpost? I've offered my assistance to Eamonn (is he still doing the show?), but if you're heading out there we could do a joint one perhaps. Thoughts?

  5. Oh and Neil, we did used to get decent crowds, in 2003/04 third only behind the Glory and Adelaide United. If you want to be a respected journalist, you need to know these things.


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