Generic car engine sputtering into life noises

Where was the kaboom? There was meant to be an earth shattering kaboom! 
Like an apocalyptic cult waiting for doomsday, we reached the hour of judgement and... nothing happened. How do we go on with our lives under such conditions? Well, like any good cult with a failed doomsday prediction, we'll reconvene and let everyone know of our revised date at some future point of time.

More seriously, the transition from one FFA board and Congress model to another was always likely to cause issues. The current board of FFA, which has been treading water since Steven Lowy succeeded his father - and which cobbled together a half-hearted expansion process that neither they nor the current A-League teams really wanted - has failed to deliver an outcome to its own purported deadline.

These things happen. And what's more, if we are to believe certain media platforms, there are ongoing concerns about the viability of all six final bidders. Well, duh! I said the same thing when there were three times as many bidders; that there was no magic bullet Wanderers-style bid which would solve (or at least alleviate) the persistent issue of stagnant A-League metrics, while also not requiring new stadiums, suffering from uncertain investment streams, or significantly cannibalising the fan-bases of existing franchises.

The more conspiracy minded of you will no doubt gravitate towards the theory that despite its obvious drawbacks and deficiencies, South is probably the only ready-to-go franchise of the remaining bids, but that there's no way that the authorities or whoever succeeds would let that happen. And I'm not here to disabuse you of that belief; after all, since the only way I could ever see South returning to the Australian top-flight is via an extraordinary case of last resort default. I can't entirely deride a line of thought which bears some relation to the way that I think about these things.

Anyway, even if we kept the receipt, it's not like we're (or whichever director was responsible) going to get our application fee back. We're just going to have be a bit more patent as this farcical process extends into the indeterminate distant future. Not that any of that matters, even if it is frustrating.

Of course there is always that second division and promotion/relegation idea
And if you're interested in such shenanigans, then the AAFC have a treat for you. They'll be hosting a forum for potential candidates for the chairpersonship of FFA. Register here if you'd like to go, though I think Football Nation Radio may cover it as well. I'd like to say I'd be there, but I may be otherwise occupied.

But back to more important things
Con Tangalakis' appointment as senior men's coach is finally official. Now that it's official, what can we say about such an appointment? Purely on a surface level, both on the appointment itself and the way it happened, it seemed like Tangalakis was not our board's first option.

Whether Bentleigh coach John Anastasiadis was serious about considering our offer to him, or whether he was merely stringing us along, there was an offer made from us to him - and it didn't work. Whether the club had anyone else in mind, I do not know. Whether anyone else would've been interested is also a question that you'd hope would be answered in the affirmative, but it could be that we are seen as a basket-case not worth bothering with, a condition working in tandem with free-agents of any worth being vacuumed up by cashed-up clubs.

When combined with scandalous rumours and articles about our perilous cash-flow situation, and 2018's unceasing aura of senior squad disharmony, things aren't exactly looking chipper. Anyway, pre-season training starts in a couple of weeks - or so some of the forum people say - and it'll be interesting to see which players actually turn up. Speaking of which...

Farewell Milos Lujic
It was a fait accompli, some would say from months ago, but it's now official: Milos Lujic has departed the club. Five times our leading scorer, even in 2018 when his commitment levels (and the service to him) wasn't at its best. That's going to be a huge gap to fill, but it probably won't be the only one.

And just in case some of you were holding out hope...
Former skipper Michael Eagar has re-signed at Port Melbourne for 2019. So we're not getting him back.

From a distance, the world looks blue and green (and the snow capped mountains, white)
Mike Valkanis has been appointed as "Head of Football Development", which seems an odd thing to do for someone who fairly recently decamped for The Netherlands to work in football there. So is Mike coming back? Er, not quite.

While the reaction from our own fans on social media was one of unbridled enthusiasm for having a sort of favourite son "come home", the supporters of Dutch club PEC Zwollw - where Valkanis is currently employed in some sort of assistant role - certainly seemed to be confused by the situation.

Valkanis himself clarified that he would, in fact, be remaining in The Netherlands while delegating day-to-day operations to other people. How all that will work is a question best left to those who have made the decision and those tasked with making it work.

Besides, as long as the stream of players from Queensland to Victoria doesn't stop, do we even need juniors anyway? I mean, apart from fulfilling our duties under the NPL licence agreement?

South Radio to return in 2019?
Heard some talk that there's a chance of a South Melbourne Hellas radio show returning to the digital airwaves in 2019. If it happened, it'd be via Football Nation Radio, who are trying to fill out their programing with club specific shows. Not sure if we're likely to take up the offer, though I believe other clubs are keen to grasp the opportunity.

Haven't done this in a while
Match programs! Well, one South one, and one Queensland one. The South one is from our ill-fated first attempt at the FFA Cup national stage - ie, the Palm Beach game. The other is from 2017 NPL Queensland grand final. Many thanks to Garry McKenzie for sending these our way.

I've put the call out Knights fans for what South of the Border is missing in terms of Knights vs South match programs from 2005 onward... we'll see what happens. I'm more hopeful of getting match programs involving South Melbourne and Newcastle's various NSL representatives, though we'll all have to be very patient with those.

South of the Border Awards 2017

Player of the year: Nick Epifano. The People's Champ missed the first five games, but was one of the two catalysts - along with Michael Eagar - for our turnaround in form after the poor start to the season. His performances were more even across the season than they have been in the past, and his effort on the defensive side of the game also improved a lot. Here's hoping that this season is a launching pad to an even better season next year.

Under 21 player of the year: The Cliff Hussey Memorial Trophy goes to Matthew Millar. Two years in a row, thank goodness he turned 21 in August so he can't win it again next season.

Goal of the year: Milos Lujic vs Knights at home. Yes it was a great goal, an atypical one for six yard box specialist like Milos, but its timing - after a half where we'd been pretty well outplayed and should've been down 2-0 at least - adds to the magic.

Best performance: against Heidelberg at the Bubbledome. Played them off the park from beginning to end.

Best away game of the year: I didn't go, but apparently the trip to the Gold Coast was pretty wild.

Call of the year: 'Come on Laura, miss it for South!' - me, at former South player Laura Spiranovic as she was taking a penalty in the shoot-out for Geelong Galaxy in the grand final against South. Laura missed.

Chant of the year: A-League or NPL / It doesn't matter to us/ The only thing that really matters / Is South Melbourne Hellas. Honourable mentions to 'Bill Paps is on fire the truth is terrified', and,'Sing us a song you're a Hellas fan', even if only like three of us actually

Best pre-match/after match dinner location: The social club wins by default. It'll have to lift its game next year though.

Friends we lost along the way: The social club count up clock. Smfcboard.com. Paul Henning. :(

Barely related to anything stupidity highlight of the year: I mean, where do you start? Misplaced fingers? Alleged spitting? Players going on holidays during the season? The visa player who spent most of his time in the 20s? Me beating Big Griff on FIFA 15 in the social club by having some random PAOK player's shot dribble underneath Mat Ryan? My image being plastered all over Windsor station by a bunch of kids?

I could go on. But I think the award should go to the West of the Quarry Twitter account, which a few rounds into the season was having a right old laugh at our very poor start to the season, only to see the tables turned pretty quickly.

That awkward moment when you laugh at South for being in the relegation zone a few weeks into the season.

— West of the Quarry (@wotq53) May 14, 2017

At least they admitted their mea culpa. Going to so many of their games this season was almost as enjoyable as going to our games. Too bad that it seems they've got their act together for 2018.

Lambchop delay nightmare - South Melbourne 0 Avondale 2

Forgive me if there are any mistakes in this posts or if it seems to lack my usual sterling effort but I busted one of my index fingers in a door and it hurts to type and worst of all it hurts to tweet but this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because this is the game that never ends yes it goes on and on my friends some people started playing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue playing it forever just because

But seriously, it just seemed to take forever to start and forever to end. Having finished my dinner before the game - how good is the social club when you're allowed in there? - the lights went out in the social club, and then it turned out the lights outside were off as well and even the surrounding area. It got sorted out quickly enough, but the end of the 20s game took longer to finish and though it finished early enough to get the seniors out there for an 8:30 kickoff, we ended waiting until well after that for the start. A strong starting eleven saw us carve out some good chances early, but having not taken them we were soon on the back foot. A well taken Avondale corner to the near post at the edge of the six yard box was met an Avondale player unchallenged by any South defenders, and soon we were down 1-0. Everything kind of deteriorated after that, but worse was to come in the second half.

At 1-0 down in the second half, a possible turning point arrived. Our team having done enough from a slightly chaotic penalty box entry to get the ball on the verge of crossing the goal line, an Avondale player on the goal decided or was driven by instict to use his hands to prevent the ball from crossing the goal line.
Despite certain interpretation changes to 'denial of goal scoring opportunity' decisions, handball was not one of those, so it was baffling to see the Avondale player responsible for scooping the ball off the line given only a yellow card instead of being dismissed.

Baffled as we all were by the ref's decision not to red card the Avondale player, up stepped Milos Lujic to draw us level and he went on to do this:

@smfc #PenaltyMiss @AvondaleHSC84 win 2-0 @nplvictoria #MassExit #SMFCvAFC pic.twitter.com/qHA50FNeMj

— Dave (@pimpdog23) August 2, 2017

Which brings me to another point. Putting aside this miss which, under the current arrangement is not even the first time this has happened to us in recent times, it once again brings to mind one of the worst problems with the laws of the game. Most notoriously, it is the Luis Suarez vs Ghana World Cup variation of this phenomenon. Currently a certainly goal bound shot can be deliberately denied by a handball, and the worst that can happen is a dismissal of the relevant player and a goal conceded. Yet penalty attempts are hardly sure things, and the risk reward balance seems completely out of whack, we being in the ridiculous situation that we still have this loophole where defenders can take the risk of preventing a certain goal in favour of conceding an uncertain attempt. For mine, the obvious solution seems to be introducing the concept of a 'penalty goal' ala rugby league's penalty try. The situation would be rare and limited to situations where the referee deemed that a player had handled the ball in a situation where a goal was otherwise inevitable. Indeed, it is a suggestion being considered by the rule-making bodies.

Back to our situation. Having not scored from the penalty we proceeded to run around like headless chooks, and suffered the ignominy of conceding a second goal. Taken from some distance, it appeared as if Nikola Roganovic should have had not trouble getting his hands on to the shot, only for the ball to seemingly go straight through him or something. But still the game would just not end. Extended injuries to Avondale players meant that there was a long bout of injury time. All the more time to watch our increasingly erratic efforts going forward.

The team has not only run out of gas, it has also run out of ideas. A compact schedule, the high of the FFA Cup win, the drop in form of some key players - all of it has seen us seemingly throw away our chance at snaring what used to be called the minor premiership and qualification for the national playoffs. Yes the first seven games away from home have hurt us, as have results like Green Gully away, and even probably the postponement of this fixture from early in the year to now. Maybe we just weren't good enough in the long run. Still, the season is not a complete wash. We have the finals series coming up, and at least one more FFA Cup game. Maybe this nine day break will refresh the side for one more push for this season.

Next game
With the end of this compressed part of our schedule, we now have a week and a half off before taking Bentleigh at home on Sunday week at Lakeside. No Milos Lujic for this one apparently, having collected his fifth yellow card.

Final thought

A sad day for Australian soccer, people for the proper pronunciation of ethnic names, and shareholders in the tobacco industry #RIPLesMurray

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) July 31, 2017

Is anyone here not a doctor? - South Melbourne 1 Oakleigh Cannons 0

Before that incident midway through the second half with Oakleigh goalkeeper John Honos and Perry Mur and Gus Tsolakis and Aki Ionnas and Lakeside's security and seemingly whoever else happened to be within a ten kilometre radius, this was just another action-packed and fiercely fought contest between these two sides who are apparently rivals.

Now for South fans, our ego will not allow us to think of a club such as Oakleigh as being a rival in any form, let alone being close to the magnitude of our genuine long-term rivalries, but it's no secret that for many that stoic front is just that. As for Oakleigh, we all know exactly how much stock their players and top brass put in beating us, and it must kill them that they haven't beaten us at Lakeside since 2006. Indeed, I think I can still hear their whinging about the 2015 Dockerty Cup final and the 2016 grand final being played at Lakeside echoing off the hills.

That's not to say the game was of some startling quality either before or after this match's key flashpoint. South had recalled Milos Lujic and Nick Epifano from injury, while David Barca Moreno and Leigh Minopoulos were dropped to the bench. It was a mistake riddled affair from start to finish, which is not to say that it was not entertaining. But from the moment Matthew Millar found himself with just Honos to beat but pushing his shot into the post (and boy did those inflatable apples cop a beating for that miss), the game was about trying to find the worst ways to botch play in the final third.

Oakleigh relied on long range shots, and the occasional floated ball into the box which the South defense had more trouble than usual clearing. Oakleigh's best chance in the first half also came early on, when Giuseppe Marafioti found himself with just Nikola Roganovic to beat, but slammed the ball into the oncoming keeper. For South's part, it looked we were too willing to give Oakleigh time on the ball and the freedom to play through the middle. Meanwhile, we were still able to create counter attack opportunities, but were rarely clean enough or quick enough to make them count - one three-on two-opportunity in particular

Marcus Schroen, who has failed to consistently reach the heights of his barnstorming 2016 finals series so far this season and struggled particularly in this match, was subbed off at half time for Stefan Zinni. It was a good move, with Zinni's pace causing Oakleigh's defense all sorts of problems; though yes, one has to admit that the end product in the final third overall remained less than satisfactory.

At least we were more willing and/or able to prevent Oakleigh from roaming free in the midfield. We had better control of the ball, and pressed higher up the field. This led to the slightly odd tactic employed by Oakleigh of having Honos bomb the ball long to his forward line, hoping to find a mismatch or a mistake of some sort; but for the most part the South defense handled this strange tactic with ease. It was a strange tactic to employ in the frequency that the chose to use it, because Oakleigh have some good ball playing mids and forwards, and abandoning their ability to play out from the back seemed to run counter to that.

The most annoying thing by some margin for most of the match was the refereeing of Perry Mur. Usually one of my favourite officials, he had a bit of a stinker. The worst decision of the lot was early during the second half, when Lujic was released through on goal and was wrestled down by Steve Pantelidis. With Milos having won the battle of strength to get the inside lane on goal, there was no reason for him to suddenly stop when he did. It looked about as clear a foul as you could get, with the only question being whether Pantelidis would get away with only a yellow card. But Mur waved play on to the incredulity of the South crowd and match commentator Teo Pellizzeri.

The game's key incident however occurred midway through the second half. Zinni found himself streaming in on goal with only Honos to beat, but instead of shooting decided to go around the keeper. Honos managed to prevent Zinni going around, in the process collecting a stray boot in the face for his troubles. This led to Honos receiving treatment at first on the ground and eventually off the ground on the sideline. One could understand and forgive some more time than usual allowed for this, given that Honos is a goalkeeper, but the situation rapidly got out of the hand as the delay increased to about eight minutes because of some of the most midrange farcical antics I've seen at a South game in these here state leagues.

Oakleigh substitute goalkeeper Billy Akritidis waits to come on, as John Honos receives treatment on the sideline.
Photo: Peter Psarros.

It seemed pretty clear that from the length of time it was taking to see to Honos that he wasn't right and should've been subbed off. Indeed the substitute Oakleigh goalkeeper had not only warmed up but was waiting at the halfway line ready to come on. Then for goodness knows what reason and under goodness knows what authority, Oakleigh's general manager and South Melbourne fan favourite Aki Ionnas came on to the field to sort the situation out. I don't understand under what authority he was there, nor how he was allowed to stay there for as long as he was - among his I'm sure many other glorious attributes, I've never heard of Ionnas having any medical credentials. Did he have a media pass which would give him access to that part of the field? If that's what he used to make it as far onto the field as he did and into the middle of the situation, it would still be highly irregular, because he was not listed as part of the official Oakleigh match day personnel, as you can see below:

This is an extract from Oakleigh's team sheet yesterday - sourced from the full length original posted on Oakleigh's
 Facebook page -which lists all the officials for the day. Notice that Aki Ionnas' name is conspicuously absent. 

His unnecessary interference caused quite a scene. The eight minute delay led at first to annoyance and then anger in the stands. As the South players variously stood around and sat on the ground waiting for the situation to be resolved, some sort of argle-bargle took place in the middle of the grandstand between supporters of the two clubs. From a distance, that situation - apparently mostly between old men - was resolved without it getting completely out of hand, though the Clarendon Corner chant - 'for once it's not us, for once it's not us, Clarendon Corner, for once it's not us' - failed to take off as it should have.

Ionnas' interference has also been described by some people as being negligent with regards to player welfare. Surely it's the doctor's or physio's call first about whether an injured player is healthy enough to safely continue playing; and that the only people with whom that should be discussed are the relevant player, the player's coach, the referee and, at a pinch, the serving team manager - and certainly not some random onlooker with no obvious authority to interfere with the situation and no obvious medical background which would only apply in an emergency situation anyway.

While Honos managed to play on and keep reasonably well for the rest of the game - apart from some fumbles - he later went to hospital for what I assume would've been some emergency plastic surgery in order to fix his busted lip. The whole situation was beyond the ken. Here was a guy who just been accidentally kicked in the face - and who knows if he could've even had some sort of delayed concussion effects - who clearly needed immediate medical attention, and yet by some strange machinations he was compelled by even stranger individuals back out on to the field in order to help his team win a semi-professional game of football in front of a few hundred die-hards.

After all of that, South managed to settle down well enough. Nick Epifano was able to make his way into the box, and was probably unnecessarily knocked over by Oakleigh defender Janiel. I had a bad feeling about the penalty - not its justice, because it was clearly a foul, but rather whether it would be converted - but Lujic put it away nicely.

Milos Lujic sends his penalty right down the middle as a patched up John Honos dives out of the way. Photo: Peter Psarros.

At that point it was the 81st minute, but owing the to the extended Honos-related delay, there was still more than enough time for Oakleigh to get the goal back, especially against a side made up mostly of players who'd played on Thursday. The whole thing ended up going to about 98 minutes, which included the closest Oakleigh would come to a goal. A corner was played short - the marking and awareness of which was pretty by the South defense - the eventual cross deflected into the six yard box, over Roganovic, and comically into the Oakleigh player on the goal line hoping to knock the ball in, but who instead sent the ball away from goal.

Neither team was at its best, but I thought for the most part we had the better of things - especially when it mattered most, on either side of the Honos stoppage. The midfield structures improved in the second half, and considering the three games in eight days we'd had to play, we ran out the game about as well as one would have liked - though another midfield sub may have been useful to nullify Oakleigh's late surge, or to take advantage of their need to chase the game.

The win keeps us on top on close to the barest of goal difference margins from Heidelberg, who had a 2-0 win against Green Gully and look to have shaken off their momentary slump. The biggest result over the weekend was Bentleigh's 2-2 draw away to St Albans, but seeing as there are many final race teams with games in hand - often against each other - the jostling won't be clearer for some time I would think. Still, nice to keep top spot for at least one more week.

Irrelevant trivia section
The substitute goalkeeper for Oakleigh was Billy Akritidis, the son of former Channel 31 soccer commentator (and present day NPL security dude) Arthur Akritidis. Arthur Akritidis himself was a goalkeeper in South's youth team back in the 1980s.

Next game

Tiff Eliadis celebrates scoring against NTC yesterday. The SMFC Women
won 9-2 to maintain their lead at the top of the of the table. Next week the
NPL Women are away to Geelong Galaxy. Photo. Cindy Nitsos

Green Gully at Lakeside, the last in our long run of home matches. Michael Eagar is apparently is out for this one having collected five yellow cards. Kristian Konstantinidis 16 match suspension is over, and I'm led to believe he has played in the under 20s - whether he would be a straight swap, or whether Taylor would prefer to switch Foschini in there and return Mala to right back will be an interesting element of this fixture.

FFA Cup news
Draw is on Thursday. How excitement.

Around the grounds
I think we have enough data now, and it's time to move on
This was an absolute nothing game for an hour, about as pitiful advertisement as you could find not only for the NPL, but for soccer as a sport. There was no penetration, very few chances created, and no excitement. Then Port scored their weekly bomb - not from Andreas Govas, but some other bloke - and everything fell into place just as the scientific modelling said it should. Within four minutes Knights collapsed, again, and were 3-0 down, and the game was as good as done. Sure, Port coughed up a goal thanks to a careless back pass, but they made up for that error with another goal. Knights continue to get closer to the relegation playoff spot, and judging by the quality of their play on Friday, look certain to earn it. Probably best for all concerned that next week I find something else to do rather than go to Somers Street. I see there's a screening of 2001: A Space Odyssey at the Astor on Friday. Might do that.

Final thought

@JoeGorman_89 pic.twitter.com/rfcToPzU7c

— Ante Jukić (@a_jukic) June 26, 2017

Broken down and rebuilt from scratch - South Melbourne 5 Dandenong City 4

We have options
For a well balanced review of last night's game, read the Corner Flag's story on the match.

For a professional report, see David Davutovic's Herald Sun piece.

The short version

...you will be broken down to the level of infants, then rebuilt as functional members of society, then broken down again, then lunch, then, if there's time, rebuilt once more.

Prelude to mediocrity
Two weeks ago
I decided belatedly to get a flu shot. I hadn't had one for a couple of years, but decided to do it this year because I'm in the final stretch of my thesis work, and besides which, I watch a lot of soccer during the winter and didn't want to be laid up at home unnecessarily. Apparently it takes two weeks to work, so it was a good thing I didn't get sick during that time.

One week ago
Someone used a pair of scissors to break into my car, but found nothing of value to take except for a box of tissues and a pair of my dad's reading glasses. I'm not sure what they were expecting to find in a 1989 Toyota Camry with two of its rims missing. I haven't even bothered checking to see if they took my Achtung Baby cassette; it's not like the cassette player in the car works anyway.

Saturday
I experienced the brief visceral thrill of watching Collingwood beat Hawthorn on television, before rationalising that it was a Hawthorn side missing five of its best, while at the early stages of re-build, and how did we get seven goals down anyway? I then watched Spinal Tap on SBS2, not really thinking that I'd be rationalising anything like that Pies' win on Wednesday, not even really thinking about Wednesday at all.

Sunday
Get to Lakeside, and have a blast watching a game that no one really cares about. Get home, have dinner, write a slapdash and uninspired match report for a game that no one cared about.

Monday
Trying to get some work done. Started to feel that nervousness kick in. Hating every second of it. But so far it's been bearable. As usual, Twitter provides a useful distraction. Late in the afternoon I get a message from a mate about a conversation he's overheard on the tram (see right). I don't know what to make of it, because on the one hand, it's completely unimportant - I mean, it's only South Melbourne after all. And there's also the paranoid matter of it possibly being part of a disinformation plan.

If you're talking about @smfc transfers out loud on your phone while on a tram somewhere in our great city, don't assume no one's listening.

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 22, 2017

Just because the man with the hat and glasses isn't in sight, it doesn't mean one of my many agents isn't. Show a bit of discretion, please!

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 22, 2017

Of course the Fahid Ben Khalfallah (whoever he is) stuff has been doing the rounds on Melbourne soccer focused internet forums for a couple of weeks at least, lest a certain Sydney based radio programme tries to convince you of its having snared some kind of 'scoop'. Later on I find myself thinking about the cup fixture as I'm trying to get to sleep. At least the distraction of an inflamed eye (again) diverts my attention to something else.

Tuesday
Realised I'd lost my USB drive at uni, again. But fortunately found it where I'd left it the day before.

"Bobo, I know I say this every century, but I'll never leave you behind again". pic.twitter.com/XTaKmm1o3W

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 23, 2017

Wednesday
Juniper Hill earned a hard fought 1-0 win on the road in the fourth round of the Oceanian Cup. I skimmed through the relevant parts of Sheilas, Wogs and Poofters and Ange Postecoglou's book for my thesis. And then it was finally time to go to Lakeside.

Nick Epifano shoots and scores with his left for the opening goal.
Photo: Jason Heidrich.

Frivolity leads to near-despair
Having a drink and a feed in the social club while watching a futsal match, the mood was light and festive. I even made lighthearted quip toward Milos Lujic as he was walking in about his choice of hat. I honestly did not feel as nervous about this game as I normally would have. Even when we got outside and Clarendon Corner inexplicably split into Upper and Lower factions, the fact that there was a Rod Stewart lookalike wandering around our bay just reinforced the nonchalance I was feeling. That, and Nick Epifano opened the scoring within two minutes, with a left foot shot of all things. Even when we conceded the equalising goal soon afterwards, I didn't feel particularly bad. Annoyed, but not bad. In any event, the team spent the next twenty minutes carving up the visitors, so surely another goal for us was coming soon, right?

When Milos Lujic was pushed in the back in the box, I thought surely that would be the chance to retake the lead, but the ref didn't call it, and City went up the other end and scored. And that's when things started to look really rubbish. We'd had City where we wanted them, off-balance and chasing shadows - especially Stefan Zinni's - and now we were behind and forced to play the game on their terms. We lost our nerve, and started bombing the ball long to Milos, and every one of those balls was cleared away easily by the City defense. Worse, we weren't really putting any pressure on City's players on the ball, so they were able to play as they wanted to.

In the last five minutes of the half it looked like we were getting our mojo back just a bit, so it was a surprise to see Zinni benched and replaced with Leigh Minopoulos. Is Zinni not match fit? Was the plan to only play him for an hour or so and hope we'd have wreaked enough havoc that we could sub him off safely? Whatever the initial plan was, I give credit to Chris Taylor for going for the early sub instead of waiting, even if it's not the sub I would've made myself. The move and whatever was in the halftime talk seemed to work, as we came out in much the same way we had in the first 25 minutes of the game.

[I am reminded here of something I'd read in Postecoglou's book earlier that day, about a coach having really very little opportunity to make an impact during the course of a game, and realistically only four or so minutes in ideal circumstances during the halftime break - it's probably a bit different in a fully professional environment compared to one merely aspiring to reach that level. The overall point here though is that the coach, while not being absolved of match day results and decision making consequences, must do most of their work during the training sessions, and not just on fitness - they must prepare the team to be able to handle itself on the field without the coach's constant interference.]

But the elephant in the room - the makeshift defense - came back to bite us on the arse repeatedly. Letting former South Melbourne Hellas defender and golden boot (2012 season) Shaun Kelly score once was bad enough, but twice? The marking for both goals looked abysmal. How he was able to get so free for that header beggars belief. So 4-1 down, and now I'm slumped in my chair. Worse is to come, because we revert to that nonsense long ball crap, which Ljubo Milicevic deals with easily. As eccentric as he is, he's a fine player, and among his greatest assets is his ability to read the play - not much of a challenge the way we were going about it though.

We had begun the season with four senior and experienced centre backs, and somehow started this game with just one. So while the coaching staff don't escape any of the blame for what happened last night, I would like to berate two people in particular before anyone else. Those people are Kristian Konstantinidis and Luke Adam. Konstantinidis for his finger business suspension; Adams for going on holiday during the season. Oh, and a special brickbat to whoever couldn't manage to keep Carl Piergianni around for one more week knowing that we would be short staffed in this area.

[I am reminded here of a game away against the then all conquering Dandenong Thunder in 2012, where we squeezed out a meritorious draw despite being similarly short-handed, in part because we'd managed to get Filip Jonsson to stick around long enough to play one more game.]

The lack of centre-backs meant that we ended up using Tim Mala at centre-back and Luke Pavlou at right back, throwing our whole backline and system out of whack. It was scenes straight out of Gully from earlier this year. You can't blame a player for under-performing in a position they are clearly not used to or suited to playing in. At some point someone decided that Matthew Foschini at centre-back and Pavlou in the defensive midfield role wasn't the way to go, We got punished for this repeatedly. Every time City went up the field they looked dangerous. They didn't even do it that often, because we had most of the ball, but their efficiency in front of goal showed not only how makeshift our defense was, but also the quality of the chances City created. But that didn't mean that their defense had magically improved. We'd just reverted to being dumb and playing dumb. You might call it a lack of composure, you might call it a lack of leadership; you might call it both, and you wouldn't be wrong on either count.

[Discussing this issue with one of the coaching staff after the game, he felt it could be one of those things which changes the side as we've known it during the Chris Taylor era. Having managed to dig really deep and find that intangible something in order to overcome the frankly ridiculous odds, one wonder what the long term consequences may be. That's not to say that the team hasn't been resilient, that it hasn't won things, that it hasn't come from behind in big games - but has it overturned a game in this fashion? This game wasn't about Taylor's rhetoric and conditioning of a team to win mere 'moments' - this game and its comeback were about overcoming our own implied/inferred mental fragility and the spectre of repeated failures in similar occasions of elevated importance.]

So to get back on track. I enjoyed the first two minutes of this match. The other 90 odd minutes, increasingly not at all. That's a strictly personal take, and I do not in any way wish to lessen the excitement and joy felt by our long suffering and loyal supporters which materialised during the comeback; nor do I want to diminish the achievement of the players in somehow finding their way back. But last night, this team broke me.

I only have two sporting loves. The Collingwood Football Club and South Melbourne Hellas. Both have caused me an immeasurable amount of mostly manageable grief, but when in attendance at a game of either of these two I have only voluntarily walked away twice that I can recall. Both times were at Collingwood matches, once in the old Ponsford against Geelong in the early 2000s, and once in the new Ponsford in the mid-2000s against Fremantle. I can't recall what exact minute or what particular sequence of play triggered my walking out of the stands last night - maybe it was the general trajectory of play and the team's attitude - but I'd had enough. I couldn't take anymore, and so I walked into the social club to sit quietly waiting for the inevitable to play out.

I loathe the FFA Cup. I hate how it skews things so much in our league that league performances - the bread and butter of any soccer club - become secondary in importance. I hate the perverse financial and promotional rewards. I hate the gimmickry, and the patronising commentary. I hate the crap-shoot. I hate how this peripheral tournament has taken centre-stage, and set in course a new player wage arms race. That doesn't mean I don't understand the FFA Cup's appeal, its novelty, its charm, its so-called romance. But all those things belong to dare I say it, smaller clubs than ours. Not less worthwhile clubs, but smaller certainly in history and ambition, and indisputably smaller in ego.

For almost no other club in Australia is a knockout tournament hinging on the luck of the draw more than just about a fleeting moment in the limelight, and a happy payday if they're so fortunate. It's not even about making a passing political point for us. The way we think of ourselves, distorted and anachronistic as it may be, forces us to treat this thing as being incredibly serious. This seriousness lends a bizarre and unearned sense of legitimacy upon the worth of the FFA Cup. We judge our success and more often our failures now based on this, These are failures which have, and successes which could have, or so we like to believe, serious long term consequences. This is even in the likely event that those consequences are unquantifiable and what's more, indistinguishable form everything else that we have to contend with in our hopes to get back into the top flight.

On top of our own complicity in setting up this paradigm, everyone outside of us who hopes we do well - or just as likely, hopes we fail - also places a ridiculous amount of conceptual leverage. We could win ten Victorian titles in a row, and none would warrant as much merit for South as reaching the FFA Cup semi-finals, or so the thinking goes. What an atrocious situation to find yourself in every year; not just for us supporters who are locked into this for seemingly years to come, but also for the players and coaches who have an elevated sense of pressure on top of whatever other expectations they have to deal with. Is it any wonder then that I lost the plot yesterday? I thought I could see what was coming, having seen it so many times before.

At 4-1 down, and while I was still in the grandstand, we had some nut in the back of the stand start abusing Chris Taylor, and folk from Clarendon Corner abusing that bloke back. The scene was overwhelmingly familiar - a disastrous performance on a stage set up for us and by us, followed by eating our own, and then onto a Sunday league game in front of 30 people. Then of course there would be the pile on of the haters, the fence-sitters. Left in that wake would've been the people who turn up every week, both in the stands and behind the scenes, who cling on to misguided and repeatedly dashed hopes that this club might somehow dig its way out of this unceasing and only partly deserved purgatory.

The first goal in what came to be the comeback came from a clumsy penalty, which on other days may not have been given. It was certainly not as obvious a call as the push which Milos received in the first half and which should have been given as a penalty, and from which City scored from immediately after. Enes Sivic wasn't in any way malicious, but the way he threw his body at Milos Lujic just looked incredibly stupid. It got Sivic a second yellow, and eventually for Milos Lujic a hundredth goal in South colours, a milestone completely overshadowed by the massive hole we still had to dig ourselves out of. Not that I thought we had it in us, as I remained in the social club feeling miserable alongside various staff members.

Even when we got it back to 4-3, I still didn't think we'd get it back to 4-4. Watching the replay afterwards, my attention is caught by Leigh Minopoulos. Yes the pass from the People's Champ is the right one, as is the run into the box by Leigh, but there's a moment where Leigh does a quick head check just before he collects the ball. It's probably just a reflex, but that moment is so crucial to what happens next, because instead of going for the direct, low percentage but perhaps even necessary shot at goal, he cuts the ball across the six yard box and not only is it perfectly placed, but someone is actually there to drive it home.

The goal for 4-4, I heard it before I saw it. As I've noted before, even though there is a stream of the game being played in the social club, it's on a few seconds delay. The social club's proximity to the arena means that should anything of note happen - especially a goal - you'll hear the cheer well before you see it on screen. What strikes me only now after watching the goal several times, is that for probably the first time in a year - the last time being Kristian Konstantinidis' goal against Bentleigh at home - that we actually had someone waiting at the right spot at the edge of the box. Let's not make it to be something greater than it was - it was an absolutely horrible shot - but at least Daley was in the right place to take it.

There was some discussion about whether Jesse Daley's goal was helped by Michael Eagar obstructing Dandenong City goalkeeper Damir Salcin from an offside position, and possibly even Eagar getting a touch (so far I've only seen Daley as being credited with the goal in official channels. Eagar however was kept onside by one, and possibly two opponents. (After publishing this piece it occurs to me that Milos Lujic is more guilty of obstruction than Michael Eagar, but that shouldn't matter if Milos is also onside, and I think he is, though the footage from stream's broadcast side doesn't make that clear.)

Image credit: Paul Zaro/SMFC TV.

Being off in mental no-man's land, I didn't give Daley the credit for being one of the catalysts of the comeback, but others have noted that after he came on he seemed to bring a bit of poise and composure to the team. I'll take their word for it.

So at 4-4, despite feeling like a ton of crap even though we'd almost got ourselves out of this mess, I went outside again but could not enjoy what was happening. There I was watching one of the most ridiculous comebacks you will ever see, and all I could do was pace up and down the concourse, where much of the grandstand had decamped to, Upper and Lower Clarendon Corner Egypt having combined again in their excitement. I was even told, probably rightly even though I have no truck with any kind of superstition, that I should go back inside the social club so as to make sure of things for us.

If nothing else, coming back outside and pacing up and down the concourse like a maniac saw me end up pretty much right in line with the final, incredible, incredulous moment of the game. In the sequence which would lead to the winning goal, it was certainly unfortunate for Dandy, but for mine that was a handball any day of the week. That's not partisan feeling talking - after all, I was almost guaranteed to be in a foul mood regardless of the result - that was gut instinct. And if I am wrong on many things to do with the game, one thing in which I usually find myself in total agreement with the referees and their decisions is that when it comes to handballs, we're almost always of like mind. You can talk all day and all night if you like about accidental handballs, and ball-to-hand instead hand-to-ball. But gut instinct told me handball, and that's what the ref gave.

Lujic stepped up and scored. A hat-trick on the night, and goals 100, 101, and 102 in his South career in all competitions. Despite everything that had happened that night, and even at 4-4, I couldn't see City getting past us in extra-time had Lujic missed his second penalty. We would have overrun them. As it was, the final score was a stupid 5-4, the method madder than the end product. I am still stunned and upset by the whole experience, probably unconsciously why I have so much of my self-esteem attached to this club in particular, and being amazed that I even had a breaking point. The South fans had gone absolutely mental, and I've got Joe Gorman yelling at me as I stand there in a daze.

Whatever misgivings and unease I had and possibly still have, I felt good for most of our supporters. I felt good for the people working at the club above and beyond the call of duty, as they have done for many years, trying to put in place everything so that the club can leverage opportunities like this, opportunities which we have inevitably blown. I felt great for our supporters, who have to put up with a lot of crap. And I felt good that for the first time in seven years that we could celebrate a win like this in our own social club. I even managed to join in with the general joy, admittedly after I'd consumed a neat gin to restore some sense of existential equilibrium.

I would also like to relate a conversation I had with a now former contributor of South of the Border. This contributor and I have often had very different views on any matter of social issues. In more recent times, our views on matters at the club and those running it have also gone in wildly different directions - these things happen. But on certain matters, we do find ourselves in agreement, and informed by a sense of vanity I like to think it's because we watch a lot more football at this level than most people at South. I probably watch too much.

The point here is that there were people at South who apparently were happier to play Dandy City over Northcote. Now, no offense to Northcote, who have beaten Dandy City this season, but I would have rather played the mob from John Cain Memorial Park any day of the week. Northcote are a team based on heart - they will grind out results, but they have no outright star quality. They are team fortunate enough this season to be in the weaker side of the NPL 2 divide, and they are team based around winning promotion in a competition that is a marathon, not a sprint.

Thanks to Dion for passing along these screenshots of this text
message conversation his dad was having with an absent fan.

Dandy City, in the stronger NPL 2 East, are also gunning for promotion, but the kinds of players they've recruited and the gradual build from a slow start also seems to indicate that they were taking very seriously an FFA Cup push. Apart from knocking out the Knights and Bulleen, the quality they had on the park last night should have been enough to dissuade even the most foolish of our people to think that this was a safe or easy draw. Certainly it was better than many of the other options, but it was not the best of all possible outcomes. After all that, it was impossible for me not to feel a little bit sorry for Dandenong City's players, but what good would mine or anyone else' sympathy do? As for our people, I let Leo Athanasakis and assistant coach Chris Marshall know that if our players ever tried a stunt like that again, they'd have to answer to me. A stupid, nonsense threat if ever there was one.

On the way home, the tram was on time, and the connection to the train was good. What else could any reasonable person want?

Next game
Now that the circus has left town, it's back to plain old unimportant league action against Port Melbourne at home on Sunday.

Comings and goings
Gavin De Niese has left the club, joining NPL 2 East side Springvale White Eagles.

Dockerty Cup news
Concurrent with our victory last night taking us to the national stage of the FFA Cup, that win has also seen us move into the Dockerty Cup semi-finals, where we have been drawn against Bentleigh Greens. The game will be played at a neutral venue. The game will be played on one of Tuesday 6th, Wednesday 7th, or Thursday 8th June.

Final thought

A-League or NPL, it does not matter to us;
The only thing that really matters, is FFA Cup South Melbourne Hellas.

See everyone on Sunday.

Less important than you'd like it to be - South Melbourne 3 Bulleen Lions 0

No. 98: Milos Lujic opens the scoring against Bulleen Lions.
Photo: Cindy Nitsos, who was chuffed that she actually captured the moment

Just a short post for this game in lieu of something more substantial, because I've got some other stuff to do.

Current Port Melbourne and former Bulleen coach Dom Barba was an interested onlooker - we play Port in the league in a week's time - but I don't think too many other people's minds were on what happened in this game. The mood around the ground seemed jovial enough, but it is at best the calm before the storm. Yes, everyone else already had one eye on this Wednesday's FFA Cup match, but at least the South players were appropriately switched on from the start, and thanks to some dreadful Bulleen errors, this game was sewn up a lot earlier than may have otherwise been the case.

Milos Lujic opened the scoring early on, nodding in a cross from close range. The optical illusion initially made it look to me like he'd missed, but that was not the case. That was goal no. 98 in a South shirt for Milos, though most of us didn't know that at the time. Matthew Millar continued on with his free scoring run, taking advantage of a poor back pass to Bulleen goalkeeper Lewis Italiano to make it 2-0 at the break. Lujic pounced on another stray back pass in the second half, curling it past Italiano for 3-0, and despite having given up a 3-0 lead earlier in the year, there were no serious concerns that the visitors would mount a comeback. That being the case, it was odd to me that Chris Taylor didn't use the lead as an opportunity to rest or protect some of our players.

Lisa De Vanna came off the bench to score the winner for the NPL women
against ladder leader Calder.United. South's 2-1 win sees us keep pace
with the top two sides. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

The romance of of Lujic notching up his 100th goal in South colours was tempting, but it would have been nice to have seen under 20s player Giordano Marafiotti given a run given that the game was wrapped up. It was also disappointing that Stefan Zinni did not not get much more than a few minutes at the end. But I'm sure the folk in charge have their reasons for going about things the way they have. And when they're on a such a good run in the league, who am I to complain...

Bulleen were disappointing all around, offering little in attack, and being flimsy in defense against a South side that was professional in its approach but which did not otherwise break into a serious sweat. Considering the fact that they have a relegation battle on their hands and no other distractions, I expected a little more. There was not much Italiano could have done to prevent the rout.

The win aside, the highlight of the afternoon was Mike Mandalis winning the half time shoot out competition (and collecting a tyre voucher for his troubles). Also we got to boo Dave, who brought shame to Clarendon Corner with his efforts,

Next game
FFA Cup against Dandenong City on Wednesday night at Lakeside. Like it or not - and I don't - this match is probably the most important one we'll play all year.

I'm not sure what the ticketing and gate arrangements will be - as usual, check with the club's media channels on that front - except that South Melbourne members and season ticket holders will get free entry to the game.

Mid-season comings and goings
There was confirmation from central defender Carl Piergianni himself that he is heading back to the UK.

Having decided to move back to the UK I have left @smfc Thank you to everyone at the club, I wish you all the best for the season

— Carl Piergianni (@CarlPidge) May 18, 2017

This leaves us in a bit of a bind in terms of central defensive options should something happen to Michael Eagar or Luke Adams, what with Kristian Konstantinidis still having several weeks worth of suspension to serve.

There is also talk is that Giordano Marafiotti will be upgraded to the senior squad from the under 20s, as well as rumours that we're looking at making a couple of signings in the mid-season transfer window

Around the grounds
I never wanted to be your weekend lover
Since no one at home wanted to watch Purple Rain with me on TV on Friday night, I made my down to Somers Street to see the Marth-less Melbourne Knights play Hume. Hume would have won this game had they been a bit more direct and a lot less cocky - they certainly had more than enough possession to do much more damage on the scoreboard than they did, which incidentally was none at all. Knights struggled to gain possession let alone hold on to it, so when in the second half Elvis Kamsoba put a one on one wide - the best chance of the game up to that point - you felt they would cop it in the end. And it almost happened right away when Atilla Offli pushed an underhit shot straight at Fraser Chalmers. Chalmers released the ball long, a Hume defender made a hash of controlling the ball under very little pressure, and Marjan Cvitkovic jumped on the loose, sauntered towards goal, and gave Knights the lead and eventually their first win for a couple of months or so.

Darkness be my friend
Saturday afternoon was spent at Chaplin Reserve with Joe Gorman. Promotion playoff hopeful Sunshine George Cross were playing runaway NPL2 West leader Northcote City. George Cross missed two great chances within three seconds of each other in the first half, and Northcote hit the crossbar in the second stanza. That was as good as it got on the field, as Northcote in particular sought to kick the crap out of its opponent. The game was scheduled to kickoff at 3:15, as have all George Cross' home games so far this season, which becomes a problem as winter approaches, especially if the game doesn't start on time. Thus the final 15 minutes or so was played in darkness; probably best for all concerned to be honest, this one time.

Final thought
Was never a big Chris Cornell or Soundgarden fan, but this song always had a certain majesty to it.

Update on Milos Lujic's knee, from Milos Lujic

Results have come in positive as a minor strain only. In line to play finals football! Thanks to everyone for their support! #smfc

— Milos Lujic (@MilosLujic) August 26, 2015

Limited internet blues - South Melbourne 2 Melbourne Knights 1

(Preamble) Sign of the Times
While waiting at the tram stop in between Flinders Street and Federation Square to catch a tram to the pub (as it turned out, no one else turned up, so that was a bit of a waste), a Yarra Trams employee on the platform started chatting with me about South and who we were playing. I mentioned 'Croatia', and he asked me about what kind of crowd the game would get. I said probably 1000-1500. It turned out that my new mate was a lapsed South fan - who else would reply to my hopeful crowd estimate with 'but we used to get 8,000 for this game'?

How do you respond to that assertion with anything resembling good grace? Here was a bloke bemoaning the fact that South crowds had gotten smaller, while not acknowledging that he himself was part of the problem. After I somehow made that point to him without directly implicating or blaming him, he then wished me a happy Easter, to which I said 'not for me'.

'Why not?' he said.
'I'm not a believer' I replied.
'You should go anyway' he responded, before I clambered onto the No.1 tram towards South Melbourne Beach, and he went on to help out some other commuters.

The tension mounts (on with the body count)
A Saturday afternoon kickoff, up against just about every other senior men's soccer match in Melbourne - not exactly the most ideal kickoff time, despite the horribly pristine and un-winter-like weather. Upon entering the ground I picked up my 2014 championship pennant souvenir, which was in a soccer style, whereas my idea had been for a baseball/Happy Days style horizontal triangle, in part because of some people at South calling me Richie Cunningham; no matter.

The apparently newly relaid turf was described by one person who had walked on it as having been left long, as well as being both sandy and moist; somehow later in the day, I thought I'd heard overheard someone chanting to themselves 'Epifano walks on quicksand'.

An early detour
Speaking of Nick Epifano, he was both there (in that he was on the bench), and not there (in that he didn't seem to celebrate the winning goal, nor did he get subbed on). I have been told and I have read from the more sympathetic side of this issue that Epifano wants to be at South, and that he had made that decision before the season despite receiving several better monetary offers, combined with denigration of South from persons involved at other clubs.

If that is true, and I don't doubt that to be the case, then he has an awfully strange way of showing it, for example by remaining expressionless on the bench when we do something good, or being the first to leave the ground after a game. That's not a crime in and of itself - the bloke's probably an incurable introvert - but it does cut against the grain of expectation in a vocation where overt and obvious physical and emotional expression is expected as standard.

After last week's episode of rank stupidity, the club went into lock down, and while my initial feeling was that Epifano would have been sacked, every day that went past seemed to make this less likely. What was the hold up for? Why had there been no comment from the club, even if it was only to acknowledge that the incident had happened, and that more news would be released later?

As it turned out, the club went on an atypically 'thorough consultative process' to try and figure out what the best solution would be to this scenario. They even engaged stakeholders across the club, including some members. And in the interests of openness, I was one of those members consulted. Without going into too much detail about that process, my recommendation was that the club sack Epifano, because while I believe that there is a substantial player welfare element involved here, that we as a club do not have the capacity to deal with that problem, as well as being doubtful of Epifano's remorse, especially considering the behaviour of some of those people in his camp.

Whatever the motivations of the club - and they may genuinely believe that this is a player welfare issue, and not merely be seeing it as a case of Epifano being a very talented player who'd they'd rather not let go - it takes a fair amount of guts to take it down this direction. That will sound wrongheaded to a few people out there, who will more naturally equate this is being a sign of weakness and indecisiveness. But undoubtedly, this is an attempt if not to implement than to at least mimic the 'professional' solution a top tier sporting club would apply in the same or similar situation.

The word that I've received on the matter is that within all levels of the club - coach, board, player leadership group - failed to adequately deal with the initial Facebook comment issue; so that while Epifano can't be nor should he be absolved of taking responsibility for his own actions, at least some part of the problem was in the ineffective and inadequate response from the club itself to the initial fuck up. Of course those in charge are well aware that this could all blow up in their face spectacularly, but as far as I'm concerned on this matter, if they can somehow make this work for the benefit of all involved, it would actually demonstrate an increase of maturity and professionalism in the club.

I don't think it's going to work for all sorts of reasons, but it'll be very interesting to see how this all plays out. What's already surprised me is the response from many of those on smfcboard.com - and I don't mean those who are only protesting we keep Epifano because of his talent, because that's no surprise at all - but those who have provided measured, nuanced responses outside the Kiss of Death's 'knee-jerk hard arse' response and the SMFC Mike brand of 'how much deeper can I crawl up the board's arse' response binary.

OK, back on track now
There was also some sort of camera crew attached to someone who looked like George Donikian (wearing his ground access pass on a Melbourne Heart lanyard) who, as far as I could gather, were filming some sort of feature on Australian soccer, starting with community clubs, then NPL, then A-League. Someone bemoaned the fact that they turned up to a fixture that was likely to have a poor crowd, but why not capture the true spirit of forcefully inflicted mediocrity that we've succumbed to? The mood lightened somewhat when the camera crew started filming Clarendon Corner, and we started singing 'We only sing when there's cameras!'.

Even the early Knights goal didn't sink people's enthusiasm, perhaps because we always looked likely to score. A large part of this was due to Andy Brennan, who was given hectares of space to run into on the right hand side, and which he duly used to take apart the inexperienced and/or substandard Knights defense. When he got past them, he put in several good crosses; when he failed to get past an opponent, the result was usually a foul, often with a yellow a card to the offender, though it took some time for the ref to get to that point. Having seen (via videos) the kind of space Brennan was gifted in Tasmania - usually way too much - I was surprised to see him allowed to roam the way he was on Saturday. That's not a complaint mind you, only an observation, in that less space was one of the issues I thought he'd have to deal with in Victorian soccer.

Placed here just in case you've never seen this
before.

The equaliser when it did come was pretty damn contentious for all sorts of reasons. The penalty call was so soft that it caught everyone by surprise. Milos Lujic's celebration following his successful spot kick only made things more interesting. Instead of running towards the home supporters, or being crowded by his teammates, he made his way towards where MCF were located, and produced an elongated 'shush' celebration, before crossing himself (in the Orthodox manner) and pointing towards the sky. Somehow some folks interpreted the gesture as a return to the Bobby Despotovski incident of many years ago, a claim which soon spread to social media.

While that allegation was later shown to be false, the immediate result was the referee blowing his whistle for halftime, and a scuffle between the two teams as they headed off towards the tunnel. Whatever Lujic did, and however much we've copped from opposition players over the years, I'm not a fan of celebrating in front of the opposition; but then again, I'm not one for outlandish goal celebrations anyway. Under normal circumstances, my personal goal celebration preference list is:

1. Thanking the player who passed the ball to you.
2. Celebrating with your supporters.
3. Dedicating the effort to Jesus/Buddha/Allah/recently deceased person/currently ill person/new born person/your high score playing as Questor the Elf on Gauntlet
4. Only carrying on like a complete pork chop if you've scored an absolute cracker or decisive, season defining goal.

Still, it was rather absurd that Knights fans were getting in an uproar, all while some of their supporters had resuscitated the old NSL era chant "I'd rather fuck an Abo than a Greek'. The notion that some have put forward - and it's not a notion that I disagree with - that the Knights are possibly the worst possible club to challenge the FFA's National Club Identity Policy got a bit of an unnecessary boost there.

The second half saw us more or less pick up where we left off. Brennan continued to take the piss, and got his due reward when he battled hard, caused a turnover and received the resulting through ball which he slotted home. It was a little ugly, but damn was it effective. The rest of the game saw us alternately try to ice the game - a Chris May double save made that part harder - and try to weather the visitors' attacks. There were a few of those, mostly from the air where we didn't look that comfortable, but we held on and that's what matters most.

As the game wound down to its tense finish, I casually remarked how nice the ground now looked with its new signage; if only it had more people to appreciate what the club is doing these days; and if only the signs were perhaps a metre further back, because they looked pretty close to the touchline. One last thing on the game itself. Now, I'm going to completely disregard whatever the exact rule may be, but how Chris May's blatant and deliberate handball miles outside of his area - and the follow up pretence of being hit in the face - got only a yellow card, when Tim Mala missed two games for calling Kieran Gonzalez a dickhead is beyond me.

On the tram back towards the city, a Knights supporter with either his dad or his grandad bemoaned Hellas' diving tactics. Me, I tried to persuade Steven Chang of the virtues of Frozen Tears' club theme song, to no avail.

Deluxe Ultra Crowd Estimator Segment 3000
Due to a certain amount of demand, here is the beginning of a new crowd estimator segment - and maybe the end, too, because new segments on South of the Border are never guaranteed to last. To be honest, I hadn't even thought about this last week, but one of our readers came up to me during the game and suggested what he considered to be a 'realistic' number. While I was trying to come up with a catchy name for the segment - which as you can see, didn't happen - another fan wearing a Manowar hoodie also provided a 'propaganda' number.

So in an effort to spread the love between both factions, and in lieu of the club actually releasing genuine attendance numbers unless you happen to be in the car with El Presidente at the time, here are both possible answers.

Realistic: 1000
Inflated South propaganda: 1800

If you would like to participate in this segment, please see me at any South game in order to provide your answer.

Next game, holy crap, that's on tonight!
Dockerty Cup action against North Sunshine Eagles at Lakeside. The game is free for members, but not free for the general public, after a stadium issue arose making the previous announcement from the club that it would be free for all, redundant.

A Magyar homecoming at Melbourne’s Greek Derby
It's been a fairly hectic few weeks for me of late. One of the downsides to this chaos is that I haven't been able to keep up with my reading as much as i would have liked, and that includes stuff on the net. Nevertheless, I finally got around to reading Engel Schmidl's latest piece on Shoot Farken, and it was well worth the wait. It's set during the most recent Heidelberg-South derby game, which is the angle I'm using to justify promoting it. Do check it out.

Next year in Jerusalem
Did you know that the 'no social club' clock on the blog doesn't come up in the browser on my crappy mobile phone? Anyway, thanks to the good people on smfcboard.com who noted that we've notched up five years without a social club, except for some casino night and the doomed from the start attempts to make Beachcomber Cafe a temporary replacement of sorts.

Around the Grounds
So it's come to this
I went with Steve from Broady to Port Melbourne vs Heidelberg, and apart from picking the worst spot on the ground to view the game, it kinda felt like old times, before 'Griffo' became a massive Victorian soccer celebrity, at the same time as the amount of non-South games he watched decreased dramatically. No matter. I was expecting big things from this game, what with both teams doing well this season. Alas, I was left disappointed. The Bergers scored a goal in the opening couple of minutes, and finished off the game with a second goal in the 91st minute. In between all of that, very little of note happened, except for Port skying the odd chance way over the bar. Slightly more interesting was Port's canteen, which was serving cans of Fosters, and the linesman who before each half thought that it was a matter of great importance that the goalkeeper's water-bottles were on the outside of the side netting rather than on the inside. Heidelberg goalkeeper Griffin McMaster, who received the lesson just before the start of the second half, could only comply with a look of utter disbelief, while exclaiming that he'd never come across that request before.

Final thought
After 28 years, it's farewell to Altona North, and hello Sunshine West. Where did the time go?