Thursday, 22 March 2012

Kiss of Death, Round 1, 2012

As much as I’d love to do a season preview, the FFV have failed to distribute the VPL pack with all the team lists. This being three days before kick off! So, I'll go straight into round one.

Bentleigh Greens vs Green Gully – Friday 8:15pm
A scintillating derby in the cold, on a Friday night to open the season. FFS. I have no idea who these clubs have lost or recruited, so I’m going into this one pretty blind. People are already talking about Gully going back to back, I think they should stop pissing in the wind. Bentleigh will start strong, and Gully will start slow. Bentleigh Greens 2 – Green Gully 1.

Northcote City vs Richmond – Saturday 3pm
The new look Northcote takes on the Richmond of Topalovic. Apparently Northcote have a youthful team full of promise. How successful they will be is another story. Who knows, really? Richmond has Topa back and Chatz still driving the train. They are kinda turning into a really boring team, and have a shit venue to match. Northcote City 1 – Richmond 1.

Dandenong Thunder vs Southern Stars – Saturday 5pm
Chris Taylor heads Dandy and they have Zaim Zanelli in goals. Southern Stars is headed by ? and they have ? in goals. This highlights the importance of not only having a website, but also having a regularly updated website. I have never seen Southern Stars, and I expect Dandy to wipe the floor with them. Dandy Thunder 4 – Southern Stars 0.

South Melbourne vs Moreland Zebras – Sunday 5pm
According to some people, South Melbourne deliberately asked for a 5pm kick off so people don’t go to the Olympic Village “el Classico”. Please, take your hands off it. South has recruited well. Moreland hasn’t done too bad either. I saw Moreland(Whittlesea) a few times last year. I especially enjoyed watching them wipe the floor with Port Melbourne. Do I think that same tactic can work in the VPL? No. A prime example is Springvale White Eagles. Their coach is a Domenic Barba. He was the referee at the infamous “riot” vs Preston at Lakeside a few years ago. So a ref turned coach. Previous stints at Altona City juniors, Altona East seniors/juniors, Sydenham Park seniors, then Whittlesea seniors. I have not seen South Melbourne all year in any capacity. Some people say good, other say bad. Believe nothing you hear. Just things you read in this column. South Melbourne 2 – Moreland Zebras 0.

Melbourne Knights vs Hume City – Sunday 6pm
Can anyone tell me if these teams have signed anyone since last season? Even soccer-forum.net can’t seem to fill in the gaps. NFI. Melbourne Knights 2 – Hume City 0.

Heidelberg United vs Oakleigh Cannons – Sunday 6pm
The “El Classico”. This derby is on par with the local cock fight down the road. The one where “Ron the Rooster”, takes on “The Cockinator”. Fucken gimmick derby. Crowd won’t be more than 150. Heidelberg United 0 – Oakleigh Cannons 3. Then everybody will come out pulling themselves over how Oakleigh has it in the bag already.

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