Sunday, 20 March 2016

Deep Fried Anonymous Goo - South Melbourne 10 Keysborough 0

The crowd for our match, the first of a Saturday afternoon doubled header, was somewhere between 126 and 152 persons. Our starting line-up included eight changes from the team that started against Bulleen. Michael Eagar, Luke Adams and Milos Lujic started, with many other fringe players getting an extended run. Still, as one person noted, one could make the assertion that Lujic started as an insurance policy, while also asking where Kristian Konstatinidis was.

Nevertheless, we won this game easily as was expected of us, though we also butchered several opportunities going forward. All things considered, few of those fringe players really impressed, although some folk were pleased with Philzgerald Mbaka's ball skills, and Leigh Minopoulos was hungry, although also wayward and rusty. Still, Minopoulos' thieving of a Marcus Schroen shot that was already heading for goal was an indication of a certain keenness for the battle in a match in which we never had to exert ourselves.

Despite the odd lusty tackle from Keysborough, I assume none of the players that we used got anything other than the usual knocks you receive after playing a game of soccer. Iqi Jawadi was not even listed on the bench, and neither Brad Norton, Tim Mala nor the Peoples' Champ were used if they were at all listed. After the match Chris Taylor and his Senior Football Adviser ended up at the canteen almost as quickly as I did. Did the Cardinals' get close to scoring? There was some sort of action at the opposite end of the field early in the second half, but it wasn't really clear what was happening. They had a go, and their goalkeeper was able to have a laugh with Clarendon Corner behind the goals.

Other highlights included: a penalty shout which included a lot of animated pointing to the spot on the ground where one of our players believed the foul had taken place; several Zaim Zeneli chants; an inane discussion on politics which stopped short of discussing whether the BDS movement is justified in its actions; the assistant referee giving us a smile, but no wave; and the compulsory appearance during the second half of Heidelberg United coach George Katsakis or one of his Saddam Hussein-esque body doubles - either way, credit must go to George for coming to more of our games than many of our so called fans, especially those who prefer living it up on the internet.

The draw for the next round, which will be a midweek affair played some time in late April I think, will probably take place on Monday. Only one NPL team was eliminated, which was Northcote (see the 'around the grounds' segment), but some of the low hanging fruit of NPL2 also got eliminated or otherwise failed to impress even winning their fixtures.

Still, we'll probably get drawn against Melbourne Knights again. To which all one can say to the corrupt FFV and FFA lackies who will be responsible for that farce is 'make it so'.

Next game
Richmond away on Thursday night, the same night at the Socceroos play Tajikistan in Adelaide. So you can either go to Adelaide and see a horrible match alongside horrible people, or come to Kevin Bartlett Reserve instead.

AGM this Wednesday night at 7:00PM
To attend, you must have been a financial member of the club in 2015. Last time around I think I spent a lot of time making silly tweets. Maybe I'll take more notes this time.

South Melbourne online merchandise store now available
Head to this link. If items appear to be missing (for me, it was the replica jerseys for some reason, maybe because a non-conformist browser), just do a search for South Melbourne on the site and they will should come up in the results. I have been told that items such as hoodies, jackets, tracksuits, heritage tops will also be available at some point, even if you can't quite see them now...

Thanks to Geordie Hellas to alerting us to the fact that if you click on the 'pre-order- tab, you can see the various replica kit options.

Dim sim disappointment during the intermission
With the spreading popularity and availability of the South Melbourne dim sim, we have seen certain imitators try to carve out a niche of their own in the large dim sim market. I had been told that these were tasty, and the packaging too was very promising - if the probably highly racist caricature on the paper bag was any indicator. However the product itself was incredibly disappointing. Apart from the people working in the Northcote canteen not cooking them through properly, which required me to throw out the two dimmies I had purchased, the meaty filling was mostly a bland sludge.

International Year of the Fence
As with Port Melbourne's fence the other week, I would like to know how exactly a metal fence gets a hole in it like that. Any thoughts on what it would take for that kind of damage to occur is more than welcome.

The ox is slow, but the earth is patient
As it was when we visited Northcote a few weeks ago. Someone at Public Transport Victoria's getting the sack (or at least a demotion) when this tweet goes viral.

Scurrilous gossip department
Which South Melbourne committee member has allegedly told his wife that he's quit smoking, only to be seen smoking like a chimney at John Cain Memorial Reserve yesterday?

Need more umlauts
I think it's time that Marcus Schroen became Märcüs Schröen. More metal.

Tibbzy FC
Make of this whatever you will. A warning however for those of you who get set sick easily when watching dizzy camera work - this has a truckload of that.

Around the grounds
I had a photo for this segment, but something went wrong
Of those few South fans who had turned up to the South Melbourne-Keysborough match, few stayed behind to watch was expected to be one of the more closely contested cup ties of this round, that being the match between NPL struggler Northcote and NPL2 West mid ranking side St Albans. Now these teams had previously had a level of rivalry, even animosity, which I considered more or less confined to Northcote's Trent Rixon era, but the 'we hate Northcote' chant from the Dinamo fans on the hill suggested the resentment continued, at least from their side. Put very simply, everyone knew that Northcote would lose this game, and that it was only a matter of how and when St Albans would break the deadlock. That it took until well into the second half, and only after several crosses narrowly missed by both sides, made the game more interesting as a spectacle. The winning goal, when it did come, was actually atypical of the kind of play that had taken place up to that point - an ambitious long range strike hit the crossbar, rebounding to a bloke who used to struggle to score goals when he was at Altona East, who had an easy tap in. Since Northcote can't buy a goal in 2016 - just one so far from five matches, and that was from a penalty - that was the game there and then.

Final thought
'Where were the hooped socks?', lamented one of the members of Clarendon Corner yesterday. Where indeed.


  1. Just realised that the word 'umlaut' doesn't contain any umlauts. What's up with that?

    1. Wouldn't it be even more confusing if it did?

    2. Perhaps. Apparently one of the Brothers Grimm coined the term.

      Wikipedia is very helpful in alerting us to the fact that a Big Mac used to be known as Big Mäc in Germany, which just seems a lot cooler.

    3. You'd have to know what an umlaut is to learn what an umlaut is.

      Feel like I've fallen into an Escher drawing.

  2. One of those fixtures that will be quickly forgotten and be a footnote in some football almanac.

  3. whats with those crazy st albans fans??

    1. They did seem to be enjoying themselves. I suppose someone in Victorian soccer has to. Northcote's support, as observed even last year, has completely died in the arse.

  4. The video had the obligatory reference to Epifano. :)

    I thought your insertion of the umlaut's was in relation to us playing Richmind Alemania this Thursday.

    Speaking of which, I am already excited (like the Iron Sheik) about my impending Facebook status update on Thursday about going to watch Richmond at Kevin Bartlett reserve .... against, not Carlton, but South Melbourne.

    1. I always wondered whenever I've heard KB have a go at soccer whether he realises that the reserve named after him has two (at least) soccer fields.

    2. Does he now?! What is his beef? Let me guess. It couldn't be the flow of the game, because Soccer flows better than AFL! The trouble makers perhaps? The global power of Soccer threatening the indigenous code? (btw ... using that term 'indigenous code'.Disrespectful to indigenous PEOPLE?)

    3. More AFL protectionist than outright hater I assume. Don't listen to SEN enough to make really broad sweeping statements stick with any meaningful validity.

    4. There are people who use a fear of soccer overtaking footy in the same way that NFL owners used 'moving to LA' as a means of getting a new stadium. Again, KB is a mild version of that compared to other footy hotheads.

    5. I thought the aggravation came from repeated instances of the ball skidding off his shiny dome when he's gone up for a header.
      I guess the AFL protectionist theory does make more sense.

  5. No umlauts in the word umlaut as the vowels are constant and not inflected. Mr Wok dimmys are to be avoided, even the south melly market dimmy is a shadow of it`s former greatness since old Kenny Cheng passed away.

    Where indeed were the hooped socks and why was our official photographer sporting what appeared to be a Port Adelaide AFL beanie?


    1. Thanks for the linguistics lesson, Stormy. I sense a missed opportunity to place an umlaut over the 'n' in Schroen, ala Spınal Tap.

  6. Draw for round 5 to be held on Monday April 4. Not sure why they couldn't do them today or this week even, but whatever.

  7. Sad to see a decent blog, slowly turning to trash mag type of content to boost clicks.

    1. This critique written by a smoker I'd suspect

  8. No not at all lol. Haven't smoked in years. Bad for your health if you believe the health warnings on those brown packets. It's just a little tacky coming from someone like Paul that's all. Plus there are others around here that seem to be doing a better job than PM in that department.

    1. So, you missed the "Scurrilous gossip department" heading?

      The author knows it is nonsense. This blog tends to embrace nonsense. Many enjoy the levity.

  9. Any hints on who this maligned smoker ?

  10. Forgot the 'Leigh Minopoulos, he steals what he wants' chant.


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