Thursday, 21 June 2012

South Melbourne Hellas: the musical - Kiss of Death, Round 11, 2012

Kiss of Death vs Arthur Papas Euro 2012 Tipping
After the group stage, the Kiss of Death trails Arthur Papas 12 points to 13. Here are their quarter finals tips.

Czech Republic v Portugal (KOD) 1-3 (AP) 1-2
Germany v Greece (KOD) 0-1 (AP) 2-0
Spain v France (KOD) 2-1 (AP) 2-0
England v Italy (KOD) 2-0 (AP) 0-1

Friday 8:30 PM Oakleigh Cannons (4th) v Bentleigh Greens (2nd)
It started as a rumours on, then it was confirmed that Oakleigh coach Huss Skenderovic has been sacked. Strange really. He hasn’t been doing too bad and he has them in 4th. Weirder things have happened I suppose. How Bentleigh are second just shows how fucked this league really is. They hardly threatened last weekend against South Melbourne, yet won with an 85th minute penalty. Oakleigh had a 3-2 away loss at Northcote last weekend. They equalised 2-2 in the 88th, yet copped the third in the 90th. Both these teams are playing their second Greek derby in a row. The pressure is on. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Bentleigh Greens 2.

STOP PRESS! - posted at 9:19am Friday
Oakleigh players revolted against coach after last weeks loss.......
Sunday night - Huss Skenderovic is sacked
Sunday night - George Katsakis appointed coach of Oakleigh
Monday morning... players get wind of appointment
Monday afternoon - Oakleigh board are notified that players are revolting if Katsakis has been appointed
Monday night - Katsakis sacked as coach of Oakleigh
Tuesday morning - Zois and Theo appointed

Friday 8:30 PM Richmond (10th) v Dandenong Thunder (1st)
Richmond was eaten and spat out by the Knights last weekend 1-0 while Dandenong had a convincing 3-0 win over Green Gully. Dandenong will be the team to beat. Unfortunately Richmond will not be able to beat them. Richmond 0 – Dandenong Thunder 4.

Saturday 3:00 PM Green Gully Cavaliers (6th) v Northcote City (3rd)
This should be an exciting encounter. One team is defensively content in their approach, while the other one fights 'til the end. Northcote always win at Gully and this weekend will be no different. Green Gully Cavaliers 1 – Northcote City 2.

Saturday 7:00 PM Southern Stars (8th) v Melbourne Knights (7th)
Southern Stars drew at Hume last weekend, while the Knights did what they had to do against Richmond. Marth, I suppose, has settled well for now, but only time will tell if he can survive. Big crowd expected for this one. Southern Stars 2 – Melbourne Knights 2.

Sunday 3:00 PM Moreland Zebras (11th) v Hume City (5th)
The ‘same home ground’ derby. Both these teams are playing out of the same venue, so how shit the food will be is anyone's guess. They seriously need to get the bar and canteen sorted out. I had some food there once and I didn’t make it out of Epping. Anyhoo, this game is of no interest to the Victorian football public, that’s why it’s being played in the middle of nowhere. Epping Stadium is a white elephant and a half. This will be a shit game. Moreland Zebras 0 – Hume City 0.

Sunday 5:00 PM South Melbourne (9th) v Heidelberg United (12th)
How depressing. Where I should be writing an article about how South is going to absolutely pummel the Bergers, I sit here at my desk nervous about this weekend's encounter. In order to ease the nerves, I will talk about last week's loss at Bentleigh. The usual South stuff. Play teams off the park with pretty one touch short passing football, and we lose to a bunch of ugly long ball playing panel beaters. “What else we can do”, once said a certain president of a now state league 2 club. I got there early to watch the U21’s. Reffing was woeful, South should’ve won. Had a good laugh at the moron who wouldn’t shut up about how he paid $9 for, and I quote, “Man this is the shittest souv I’ve ever eaten, and I paid 9 bucks for it, what a fucken joke”. Get over it tightass. Then I sat back on the bodgiest grandstand and witness one of the Trifiros go through the middle, hit the post, celebrate, then realise it went for a goalkick. If we ain't jinxed then I don’t know who is. Second half and more of the same. Then a handball appeal which the ref gives to Bentleigh as a peno. They score, we abuse the players/board/coaches/peanut man/a couple of saints and holy figures and go home. Another riveting South Melbourne performance. This week Heidelberg is on the menu. Will we beat them? That’s a question I might be able to answer if the moons align and I feel good. Must we beat them? Um hello, no shit Sherlock. If we lose to the Bergers, the entire coaching staff must be sacked. Enough excuses. I know people on the South board read this blog. You have an obligation to the members. South Melbourne 8 – Heidelberg United 0 (This is only because Moreland Zebras scored 4 against them last week, and I think we are double the talent of Moreland). Anything less is a poor result.

Late Breaking News
George Katsakis has retaken the reigns at the Bergers. This is a bad thing for South. Every time a team gets a new coach, they perform, and usually win. Will definitely be a shit match for South. This coach has a way of lifting his players regardless of how low their morale or ladder position might be. He is the only coach I see week in, week out at other matches. Hard worker all round. Was also present at South 1-0 loss last week at Bentleigh. Even he was shaking his head at Souths performance ! Ah fuck.

Admin Stuff
A request to all South Melbourne fans who read this blog. Please light a candle for our beloved South Melbourne. If we keep going along like this, not even a bushfire will be enough.

Join me in prayer every evening at 9.08pm AEST, with the following:

Dear God,

Please disregard all the prayers that are being said for the other team.


  • Rumour has it that SMFC will be holding an interfaith service next week IF they lose to the Bergers. Great idea, but our religion is SMFC.
  • Rumours going around last Friday at Bentleigh were that we have been “evil eyed” and we have had a curse put on us. So get the priest down there and bless everyone, or get a few golden toothed old ladies to remove the “evil eye” from the stadium, and everyone involved at the club. I have the gift of “xematiasma”, and you can contact me at
  • Lakeside stadium needs a DJ who can play to the mood of the crowd. I have selected some songs specific to the events at Lakeside, mainly losses:

Otan Pethano Thapste Me (When I die, bury me) Stratos Pagioumtzis

Synefiasmeni Kyriaki (Cloudy Sunday) Stelios Kazantzidis

Se xilious duo mpelades (A couple thousand problems) Manolis Mitsias

Svise me Kira mou (Turn me off woman) Manolis Aggelopoulos

Gia ta lefta ta kaneis ola (You do everything for money) Antipas

Eimai se katastasi ektaktou anagis (I’m in a position of urgent need) Makropoulos

Yakety Sax (The Benny Hill Theme)- Boots Randolph (the editor has decided to be a smartass and present instead Yakety Axe, as performed by Chet Atkins.)

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