Monday, 9 April 2012

Kiss of Death Round 3, 2012 - Year 12 English Lit edition

The regular columnist hasn't shown up for this week, so we've hired Paul Mavroudis from the year 2000 to do it this week.

Heidelberg United vs Richmond, Easter Monday, 3pm, Olympic Village
After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat to find out all about him; but by and by she let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time; so then I didn't care no more about him, because I don't take no stock in dead people. Heidelberg 1 - Richmond 1.

Oakleigh Cannons vs Moreland Zebras, Easter Monday, 6pm, Jack Edwards Reserve
Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.
Oakleigh 4 - Zebras 2

Dandenong Thunder vs Melbourne Knights, Orthodox Easter Saturday, 3pm, George Andrews Reserve
May I speak plainly?... If you'll forgive me, he's common... He's like an animal. He has an animal's habits. There's even something subhuman about him. Thousands of years have passed him right by, and there he is. Stanley Kowalski, survivor of the Stone Age, bearing the raw meat home from the kill in the jungle. And you - you here waiting for him. Maybe he'll strike you or maybe grunt and kiss you, that's if kisses have been discovered yet. His poker night you call it. This party of apes. Thunder 3 - Knights 2.

Green Gully vs South Melbourne, Orthodox Easter Saturday, 3pm, Green Gully Reserve
It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire. Gully 2 - South 0.

Northcote City vs Hume City, Orthodox Easter Saturday, 3pm, John Cain Memorial Reserve
To me, Antigone, no word of friends
Has come, or glad or grievous, since we twain
Were reft of our two brethren in one day
By double fratricide; and since i' the night
Our Argive leaguers fled, no later news
Has reached me, to inspirit or deject
Northcote 2 - Hume 2

Bentleigh Greens vs Southern Stars, that Monday that isn't today, the next one, 8:15pm, Kingston Heath Soccer Complex
Foreigners have much less sense than Greeks. Greens 3 - Stars 3.


  1. Just quietly... best match preview ever. The real Kiss of Death will have to come up with something grand to outdo this.

    Even better than a Michael Lynch effort, if I do say so myself.

  2. Also, I can't believe the FFV give me a media pass for this stuff. Maybe I've been to harsh on them.

    Or not harsh enough.

  3. Also, if the folks at home expect to win a prize for guessing all the source materials, you're out of luck. While I have several prizes I could hand out, the fact that one could simply google the passages and come up with the relevant texts make such a contest meaningless.

    But I know there is one literary type out there who may want to take a stab at it regardless, even if most of them are completely obvious.

  4. Back in the day, I did year 12 English lit in year 12... even though I only got a 27/50 mark for the unit, the class and the teacher - one Lyle Stebbing - were pivotal in awakening my love of literature, instead of just reading.

  5. Rumour has it he is looking for a decent Souvlaki outlet...


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