Kiss of Death, Round 12, 2014

Port Melbourne Sharks vs Pascoe Vale - Friday 06 June @ 8:30PM @ SS Anderson Reserve
Port Melbourne lost at home 2-4 to Bentleigh, and Pascoe Vale had a good 0-2 win at Goulburn Valley. Port is a rabble. All over the shop. Possibly the most inconsistent team in this year's competition. In saying that, Pascoe Vale aren’t much chop either - but they’re enough chop to beat the Sharks. Port Melbourne Sharks 2 – Pascoe Vale 3.

Green Gully vs Northcote City - Saturday 07 June @ 3:00PM @ Green Gully Reserve
Green Gully was somewhat on the up since their 1-0 win over the Knights last week, but suffered an embarrassing 1-4 loss on Wednesday in the Cup. Northcote drew 1-1 at the Bergers in a somewhat exciting encounter. Gully will bounce back from the midweek embarrassment and beat Northcote City quite convincingly. Green Gully 3 – Northcote City 0.

Goulburn Valley Suns vs Dandenong Thunder - Saturday 07 June @ 6:30PM @ Shepparton
The relegation bound Goulburn Valley Suns might as well start planning for next year's NPL1. There is no way back for them now, considering after Dandy they have South at Lakeside. Dandy was taught a footballing lesson last week in their 5-0 hammering at South Melbourne. They were a different team to the one that lost 0-1 to South in the Cup. They must’ve played all their cards wrong! They will bounce back and beat the Suns no problemo. Goulburn Valley Suns 1 – Dandy Thunder 3.

Hume City vs Bentleigh Greens - Sunday 08 June 14 @ 3:00PM @ Broadmeadows Valley
Hume had a good 1-3 win at Ballarat, while Bentleigh beat the Sharks 2-4 in a thriller. This should be a good game to watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Both teams usually play at full pace and always like going for the kill. Hume City 2 – Bentleigh Greens 1.

Melbourne Knights vs Ballarat Red Devils - Sunday 08 June @ 3:00PM @ Somers Street
A depleted Knights recovered from their weekend loss at Gully, and bounced back with a 1-4 midweek Cup win. The Devils lost at home to Hume and seem to have lost their way. The Knights will also need to rock up to Lakeside 48 hours later for a Cup tie against the high-flying South. Melbourne Knights 2 – Ballarat Red Devils 1.

Heidelberg United vs Werribee City - Sunday 08 June @ 5:00PM @ Olympic Village
Heidelberg hit a stumbling block in their 1-1 draw with Northcote. A late equaliser gave them some hope of catching South. Hahaha, yeah right. Werribee were unlucky in their 2-0 loss at Oakleigh, with a saved penalty which would’ve brought them back to 1-1. I cant see the Bergers losing to those hacks from Werribee. In saying that, both teams like to hack a little, so expect plenty of cards. Heidelberg United 2 – Werribee City 1.

Oakleigh Cannons vs South Melbourne - Friday 06 June @ 8:30PM @ Jack Edwards Reserve
The game of the season. Second place, -9 points Oakleigh host first place +9 points South Melbourne. I’ve seen Oakleigh a few times this year and they ain't too impressive. South are having their moments but are quite frankly unbeatable. South is at full strength, while Oakleigh who cares. They could play with 12 and still lose. South inflicted major carnage on Dandenong last week. A 0-1 extra time win for the Cup and a 5-0 drilling on Sunday. South was very good on Sunday. Every team seems to give their all against us early on, then die in the arse once they cop the first. Every team seems more nervous against conceding rather than scoring. It’s not a matter of how many, but when. Because like our previous coach used to say, “one day we’re gonna absolutely batter a team”. Well, that happened, but not under his tenure. Chris Taylor my friends is the ‘Gamia’ like they say in Greek. Loosely translated to “The Fucker”. I wouldn’t be surprised if the players wear condoms during the game for when the time comes to open up the opposition. The opposition starts off well lubed for when it happens. Oakleigh is no different. They will all be well lubed up for the gangbang we are going to see on Friday night. There should be a bumper crowd at Jack Edwards and as usual these muppets get to play us at home first. How does this work every year? We are yet to play these clowns at our ground first up [we played them at home first in 2009, 2010 (at Kingston Heath) and 2013 - Ed.]. Either way, I couldn’t care if we played them on the moon. We would still beat them.