Digging a hole to 1974, and proud of it

Two Englishmen and a chain smoking, hard gambling senior citizen with manboobs walked into a bar... sounds like a decent set up for a joke, except the punchline is that the bar is South Melbourne Hellas, and the three blokes are our new signings. Good grief.

Stick a 'Soccer Action' masthead onto the article, maybe a Laurie Schwab or Fred Villiers byline onto it, and it would probably pass as a legitimate 1970s or 80s article.

So, Steve Burton (not the Green Gully one, but some schmo from England via Perth), Shaun Kelly (England via Shepparton) and Andy Vlahos (deep breath, ex-Heidelberg United, Collingwood Warriors, Carlton, Panathinaikos,  AO Agios Nikolaos, South Melbourne [who?], Football Kingz, Cercle Brugge, Melbourne Victory [apparently they don't exist according to our official site, which is an incredible, if slightly mystifying relief], Heidelberg United, Hume City, Heidelberg United) are our mid-season signings.

Also, out the door are Gianni De Nittis (again, maybe to Port), and Kyle Joryeff (unlucky, allegedly to Knights, but now probably Richmond). And what of Rhodri Payne? Who knows.

The only thing I can say, being one of those critics who has never kicked a ball and can't even lift a leg (then again, I heard the latter criticism made last night at the Port vs Gully cup match of Vlahos from a 1970s Polonia player), well, everything else has failed since 2006, so why not? This will be a second half of the season to remember.

And seriously, do click on the link above, and check out the attached videos - especially Kelly's, where he looks like a slide tackling machine even above and beyond Ramazan Tavsancioglu's efforts of the days of yore.