Time to gloat - Kiss of Death returns!

After a long hiatus, I’m back for more. Apologies to my faithful apostles for this absence. Not that I need to apologise considering I am your liege.

I will only be commenting on South Melbourne, so if you don’t want to read about it, close this tab in your browser and continue your search for gay porn.

South Melbourne this week faces the Oakleigh Cannons. That pain in the arse suburban club, who think they’re some kind of power club. Please, spare us the bullshit. You guys can continue having those ‘washed up’ Greek singer nights, pretend you raised $150,000 at your jersey presentation nights, and have functions at Crown for $1,000 per head, yet people need to pay for spirits. If anything, you’re a village club, you don’t even qualify for suburban club status! Even the Bergers are no longer a village club!

You will be facing South Melbourne. The Oceania Team of the Century! A true national powerhouse. Even if some people like to discount that status, we are still the same South Melbourne as before. Forget what the Greek papers say, forget what the Greek radio says, listen to me, so it is written.

South Melbourne has had a stellar season. Chris Taylor has done a splendid job. He has assembled a team we can all be proud of. A team of Champions. Yes, we shall lose one or two to those wretched A-League clubs at the end of the season, but we will regroup and attack the 2015 NPL with vigour, determination and as usual, professionalism. We will go back to back. KOD 3:9 for all you bible scholars.

We have had nothing but ups this season on and off the field. We had those morons calling for the board's head over the stadium deal. Class act. Didn’t they cop it sweet. We had experts asking me after games, “why does Oakleigh hammer teams, yet we only win 1 or 2-0”. To those experts, Oakleigh’s only scored 4 goals more than us. It’s not as if they’ve been wiping the floor with the opposition you dipshits. Some people just don’t get it. Oakleigh is chasing, they need to win games. We are looking down at them, just collecting the points we need. Simple fucken maths. Defensively, we have conceded two goals more than Oakleigh. two of these being Jason Saldaris’ brain fades at Bentleigh. No dramas.

At the end of the day, thanks to the work of the Melbourne Knights, South Melbourne are the champions of the NPLV 2014. I was invited to the game on Wednesday night, and decided to accept the invitation. What I witnessed was a very poor as expected Oakleigh. They played with no purpose. A team who was spent, after weeks of chasing South. Eventually, the mind gives way. The mental toll is sometimes harsher than the physical one, and it was obvious from the outset.

Forget what all the articles say about the game, that Oakleigh was clearly attacking, the Knights hit them on the counter, etc., etc. They are wrong. The Knights were attacking, and Oakleigh was intent on hitting them on the counter and stealing the game. The Knights were playing with purpose. Oakleigh's weaknesses were exposed time and time again by the attacking Knights. Wave after wave of attack lead by Stipo Andrijasevic, was eventually going to crack the Oakleigh ten man defence. The only thing between Stipo and the goal was that little cunt Honos in goals for Oakleigh. We have not forgotten you κωλόπαιδο. You were telling us, “How many goals is that now? Three”, when you beat us at Jack Edwards. Well guess what cocksucker, “we can count, and we know that Oakleigh still has ZERO championships!”.

Sunday at Lakeside will be a fiesta. We’re gonna party like its 1999! I was hoping the trophy presentation happened before kickoff, so the Oakleigh wankers can burn. However, to my dismay, South Melbourne will be presented with their trophy at the end of the game. Not that Oakleigh has any fans, but I want their players to burn.

Either way, well done to Chris Taylor, the playing squad and staff at SMFC. Also a big congratulations to the ever so hard working board. From the cocksucker who mans the merchandise booth, to the chardonnay sipping suits in the corporate boxes.

I would like to thank the Melbourne Knights for their hospitality on Wednesday night. It’s always a pleasure visiting this club.

See you all in Tassie!