Another tipping point - South Melbourne 0 Kingston City 2

Two weeks ago, before the Avondale game, we were at least nominally the form team of the competition, having won four out of the previous five league games, and most of those against the either sides in the top three or against sides who were not so bad that they were in the bottom three.

Since then we have had a disappointing but nevertheless expected loss against Avondale, and whatever that was meant to be on Sunday. When these two teams played earlier in the season, Kingston hadn't yet won a game, but looked good at least for the first hour or so, and we looked good in the last half or so.

Sunday by comparison was dire from both teams. Kingston had only won one game since they'd beaten us, while we'd been up and down, our best being quite good and our worst... well there's plenty of room to talk about that, here and elsewhere.

Especially elsewhere, where people have written off the rest of this season as nothing more than an extended pre-season for 2020; and that's if we're in the NPL instead of NPL2 which, as noted by the doomsayers (currently in ascendancy over the optimists) is not exactly guaranteed.

This was a dull game from almost beginning to end. At least for the first 45 minutes, even as nothing of note happened for us, at least nothing of note had happened against us.

Then came a cheap defensive turnover, a quick forward thrust by Kingston - their first meaningful forward movement - and then a low cross (I won't deign to call it a shot) which deflected over the keeper into the back of the net. That sucked what little air was left in the stadium, and things only got worse from there.

The second half started with what was predictably a flurry of action from our end, but very little of attacking quality. By the end of the game, Kingston had added a second, subs were made, and we could've played for another two hours and not gotten close to scoring.

I've not named any players today, because we've fallen into the trap of scapegoating people, and sometimes they can take the blame, but there was so many flat performances on Sunday that it'd be wrong to single out any particular person.

Passing, movement, direction, and leadership - especially leadership - were all found wanting from our end. Had we been beaten by a team playing free flowing football, we could perhaps have rationalised it in some way.

But we lost to a team so low on confidence, playing such a simple game plan that in many ways was beneath them, and out of character too for a team that had built a reputation of playing attractive, attacking football on a limited budget, and despite the risks that entails for a team always likely to be threatened by relegation in this competition.

We were instead beaten by a team that sat back, gifted us possession while denying us space, and just waited for us to screw up. And screw up we did, enough times and bad enough that even those few chances that the visitors were able to muster were still of higher quality than anything we managed to put together.

By the end of the game there were more of those chances, too. And in the stands there was anger, and anger at the people who were getting angry, and all of sudden here we are again in another low. Every time we end up here, it seems like there's no way out. And each time, whether for an extended period or (usually) for a brief one, we manage to dig ourselves out for long enough to revive hope.

But each time that recovery takes a bit more out of everyone that's still left at the club, and it pushes more of our supporters beyond the threshold to which they can be bothered to give a stuff.

Relegation Battle (status: ongoing, stable but precarious, imminent change arriving)
Not a great week overall on the relegation front. Of course the centrepiece of that not greatness is our loss to Kingston, which arguably hurts us more than it has helped them, though of course all these things remain to be played out over eight more weeks. Dandy City continues to collect points. Port will be spewing that they weren't able to pick up a win against Gully, after leading by two goals and with a man advantage.

On the positive side - and there were positives - Pascoe Vale and Dandenong Thunder continue to rack up losses, and thus the nine point buffer between ourselves and the dreaded playoff spot remains for at least one more week.

Next week
Pascoe Vale at home on Sunday, for a ridgy-didge relegation six-pointer. Talk is that they've sacked their coach Vitale Ferrante. Not sure if that will make a difference.

If we win this game, I'm not going to come out and say that we'll be safe, but it'll do us a hell of a lot of good. If we lose, well, strap yourselves in for another stressful finish to the season.

Where's Luke's site?
It looks like Luke Radziminski's South Melbourne FC related photo-blog has disappeared off the internet. Not sure why.

Final thought
The national second division white paper has been released. Maybe we'll talk about that here next time.

Book review - A double dose of Knox City

Knox City is an unremarkable club. That's not a slur, but merely a statement of fact. They are not and never will be a household name, or even a cult name in Australian soccer. Being unremarkable does not mean however that the club is unimportant. Socceroos have come from this club. Knox played in Victoria's top-tier. Knox even had a brief a stint in the National Youth League. And if nothing else, Knox City is important to the people who continue to attend and support the club, as they have done in the club's various guises since 1951 - remarkable longevity for any club in Victoria, but especially for one not tied to a major ethnic community, and especially one situated in the far-eastern suburbs.

What is remarkable about Knox City however is that where most clubs in Australia have managed to produce nothing in print about their history, Knox is able to say that there are two published works about the club in circulation.

Covering the first 50 years, some 18 years ago Chas Collison put out From Basywater to Knox City: The history of a soccer club, 1951-2001, a small booklet discussing the first 50 years of the Knox City Soccer Club. The A4 booklet runs to no more than about 20 pages, but within those pages it does its job admirably. Augmented by photographs, the booklet briefly covers the origins of the club within the local community of German members of the Temple Society; a list of office bearers; brief decade-by-decade narrative summaries of the club's first 50 years; a divisional history; some stuff on the club's juniors; and a page on the off-season All Nations Cup tournament, which Knox hosts on an annual basis.

It's well presented, and is the kind of thing that most clubs should be able to produce without too much effort. An interesting element of Collison's booklet, and one which might otherwise go overlooked is that it was completed with a small government grant given during the International Year of the Volunteer. It's the kind of thing that more clubs should be aware of: that not only do these kinds of grants exist to help clubs compile, preserve and present their histories, but that Football Victoria also offers assistance in winning these grants (though in Collison's case I assume it would've well pre-dated such federation assistance).


Bruce Darnell's Knox City FC: An Updated History from 2017 is by the author's own admission not an attempt to re-write Collison's work, but rather to make note of what's happened since; namely a sharp decline after a brief flirtation with the Victorian top-flight, and the eventual steadying of the ship and the club's status in the Victorian third and fourth tiers.

But Darnell also goes back in time and tries to fill in gaps that perhaps didn't occur to Collison. Thus Darnell also provides space to Knox's women's teams, its juniors and veterans teams, and also about 20 pages of photographs. About 100 of the 180 pages on offer are dedicated to the statistical history of the club. This includes divisional histories, league and cup information, as well as information about office holders, record holders, and an updated list of All Nations Cup winners.

The centrepiece of Darnell's statistical summary is his cataloguing of the results of 1,432 of 1,440 of Knox's senior men's league matches up until the end of 2017. The fact that Darnell has been able to achieve that level of detail for a predominantly lower league club is incredible. Darnell's summary also provides a kind of snapshot for the state of Victorian soccer records. Mainline federation (that is the not the amateurs or church leagues) results for senior men's are usually available if you look hard enough; scorers for those games are much rarer, and line-ups rarer still; and for women's teams all but impossible to get, especially before the mid-1990s. Darnell's work also highlights the collaborative nature of soccer historiography as practised by Victorian amateur soccer historians. Darnell pays credit to the many historians and stats collectors who have come before him, including John Punshon and Mark Boric.

One disappointing thing about both of these publications is that neither appears to have made it to the State Library of Victoria's collections. It'd be a safe bet that few people outside publishing circles are aware of the concept of "legal deposit" - that is, the legal requirement of sending in copies of your publication to a state or national library. It's not just a matter of legal obligation; it also makes good preservationist sense. Australian soccer clubs are notoriously poor record keepers when it comes to history, and thus having a copy of a text published on this or any other club in the safe hands of a state library is a good idea/ And apart from helping researchers and the curious have a safe, easy to find copy, it also takes some of the pressure amateur collectors and archivists from having to preserve and somehow promote all of this material on their own.

Copies of Darnell's book are reportedly still available from Knox City. For those who want to peruse a copy of Collison's book, I have scanned it and made it available here.

Blergh - South Melbourne 0 Avondale 3

There's no lolly quite like a home-name brand lolly bought from a pharmacy.
Photo: Luke Radziminski. 

I can forgive the fatigue of three games in eight days, even though not every player out there on Sunday played in all three games. I can forgive the players for suffering under the yoke of some diabolical early refereeing (how did Krousoratis not get a free kick after his opponent tried to snap him in half?), though some of our own players - and the coach - really should be doing all they can to avoid nonsense yellow cards for dissent, time-wasting, and scuffles.

I can understand being disheartened after going behind to the league leader after matching them for forty minutes, in what was admittedly up to that point a pretty ordinary game without much football played for long stretches. But what happened after that was pure garbage. The second goal we conceded was completely fucked. You're 1-0 down, it's going to be the last play of the half, why you don't have every player in the box, why Pep Marafioti doesn't stay on the post and instead wanders into no man's land, and why doesn't Nikola move? Just mind-bogglingly shit. The header came from beyond the penalty spot, it didn't have much power, and yet instead of being cleared away all of a sudden we're 2-0 down and as far as I'm concerned, out of the game.

The rest you've probably already seen or heard about. A third goal conceded early in the second half, all part of the most dreadful, half-hearted 40 minutes of football you've ever seen. Thank goodness that Avondale also took their foot off the pedal, because if they hadn't we'd have lost this game by double the score or more. There was a five minute period late on where we had a couple of attempts on goal, and looked OK from corners, but that was it. Even with the commentary headphones on you could hear the bronx cheers from Clarendon Corner.

It will be interesting to see what the line-up will be next week with more or less a full-team (sans the injured Kostas Stratomitros) at our disposal. And that goes for Marcus Schroen and Nikola Roganovic as well - because while one doesn't want to single out any player for a below par performance, because everyone lowered their colours - these two above all seemed to put in flat-footed, awkward performances not befitting their status as senior players.

Sophomore album blues
Being on the live commentary for a second consecutive week was less enjoyable this week, if only because one had to maintain a professional veneer and remember to praise the opposition as well. Had your correspondent been in his customary position in Row H, he may have been able to vent a little more.

Now that I think about it...
My commentary gimmick should have been to call Avondale "Avondale Heights".

Next game
Kingston at home on Sunday. The kind of game we really should be winning, but we'll see I suppose.

Relegation battle (status: ongoing, stable, approaching a fork in the road)
All things considered - including the likelihood, now realised, that we weren't going to get a point off Avondale - this was a pretty good week for us on the relegation front.

The only really negative thing is that Kingston couldn't get a point off Oakleigh, but since I had little doubt even before their form reversal that Oakleigh would sort itself out, perhaps it's better that Kingston lost, lest the Reds manufacture some sort of recovery (probably starting against us).

Dandenong Thunder choked hard, coughing up a 2-0 lead to lose 3-2 - let's leave aside for now whatever points punishment they may receive for last Saturday's shenanigans. Pascoe Vale got crunched by Port. Dandy City only drew with Gully. And as bad as our goal difference is, the teams in the bottom four spots are all worse off than us in this regard.

So with 9 games to play (27 points), we're 10 points clear of 13th, and 9 points clear of 12th. Certainly not safe, but I'd rather have the head-start than have to play catch up.

If some of you are still holding on to the finals fantasy, well, good for you. I'll be happy to join if and only if the next two weeks goes well.

Women hovering in that mid-table sweet-spot
Yes! I finally got to see a senior women's match after such a long time; of clashes, impossible to get to venues, of enjoying the Collingwood bandwagon before it sputters out sooner rather than later. I watched the first half of the women's game against the lowly Bayside United from inside the scoreboard operations room; which is to say, I saw bits and pieces of the game because the seating arrangements in that room are not exactly conducive to watching the action unless you're in the hot seat. I did see our first and only goal for the first half, as well as Sofia Sakalis' penalty hit the upright and go across the face of goal.

Later I decided to get a souv in the social club, and watched the second half from in there. The game turned into a procession, with South adding four more goals and showing that there's great disparity between these two sides, despite South's incredibly young team and whatever other results they had between them earlier this season. It's remarkable that in a ten team competition that there would be five kinds of club. Calder, the runaway leader and favourite for the title. Then there are the two teams behind Calder, who might be able to knock off the ladder leader on a once off, winner takes all game. Then there's the three or so clubs looking to sneak into the finals even though there's little chance of them doing any damage. Another three clubs just killing time. And Southern United, with a goal difference of -146.

Basically, we're in that sneak into the finals group, relying on taking care of business against the NPLW's dregs, and making sure to win the balance of the games against Box Hill and Heidelberg.

Around the grounds
Karpeh (oh no, please no, don't do it) Diem (damn you to hell)
Ralph Reserve. Third last (I think) Western Suburbs hosting (probably last) Altona East. Jerry Karpeh, playing for East, had an eventful game. Karpeh booked about 20 minutes in for persistent backchat. Half an hour in he was asked to put black tape on his socks because they had too much white. About 40 minutes in he scored the opening goal of the game, bundling home a goal from a long free kick that fell out the back of the Suburbs defence - important timing as Suburbs had just started to get on top. And with about 15 minutes to go, he cut back a ball across the six yard box that the Suburbs defenders thought had gone out, which was bundled in for 2-0 and the game. He also cocked up 2-3 more very gettable chances. Suburbs had enough of the ball and territory, but in general struggled to create meaningful chances until they were 2-0 down. They had a 15 second goalmouth scramble at 0-0, and hit the post at 1-0 down. I think both sides had a man sent off late for off the ball stupidity. A good day out, except for getting thorns in my hands while retrieving a ball that had got stuck in a cactus.

Final thought
Two Indonesians at Hellas! There goes the neighbourhood.

See you next year - Melbourne Knights 4 South Melbourne 2

This is late not for any particular reason other than laziness. Not that anyone asked at any rate, which is reassuring

Since I didn't expect to win this game anyway, I can't say I'm particularly disappointed with the result. Sure I'm annoyed with how the result came about, but it was only an exaggerated variant of so many of our losses - and even some of our wins - that there were few surprises for anyone who's watched this team this season. And the key moments of utterly shambolic defending aside, it wasn't even close to our worst performance of the year. We scored goals, created chances, and fought the game out to the end, things which you can't necessarily say about our actual worst performances this year.

But you can't go coughing up certainly three - and probably all four - goals of that nature, when you're already in the habit of conceding at least one utterly avoidable goal every game. Our forwards have at least sorted out their end of the bargain to be scoring at least one and usually two goals a game to cover those defensive frailties - and the fact that we are inexplicably the form team of the league over the past five weeks backs up that assertion - but there's only so much they can be expected to cover at the other end.

Why not celebrate with us, Kristian Konstaninidis?
Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

The first goal we conceded came after three rather predictable examples of what we have been all about in 2019. First, we had by far the better of the first ten or so minutes, peppering away shots and crosses, and generally looking up for the contest. Second, we conceded from basically the first real chance that Knights had. Third, that chance was created because of poor defensive discipline by Marcus Schroen (and really, it could've been anyone, but as one of the few long term experienced players in the squad, Marcus has carried a target on his back all year), who dived in at a loose ball in midfield, when being more risk averse and keeping his feet to push the Knights player who would have got the ball wide would have been a safer, more productive move.

It's like I've said all year. If the opposition is scoring bombs from 20 or 30 yards out, you get upset but you also grin and bear it (unless it's a player like Andreas Govas who should never be allowed to line a up shot from any sort of range). But we give up these awful, gift-wrapped goals week after week, and while I know that it's also an NPL speciality across the board, we're just terrible at it.

After managing to get back into the game via a Kristian Konstantinidis header - and for all his other cock-ups this season, there's probably no other player in this league that's as hard to mark from set pieces as KK - we copped a goal straight away. This happened not necessarily because Knights created an irresistible bit of football - though good on Hamish Watson for getting unmarked in the six yard box so easily - but because we were distracted by KK's antics celebrating in front of MCF of all people. South fans hate it when opposition players celebrate in front of us, but we're not too fond of our own players doing the same to opposition sides. It's admittedly a rare occurrence from our end, but it was such a stupid, hubristic thing to do by KK, especially when he couldn't easily celebrated with the fans behind the goal at which he'd scored.

Billy Konstantinidis appeared to injure his shoulder after scoring his goal.
Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

Clearly KK and the team were fired up by the equaliser, but they were so fired up that they forgot the golden rule of state league reserves teams everywhere - after you score a goal, just kill the game off for three minutes to take the sting out of the game and avoid conceding a goal via adrenaline and lack of concentration.

Sadly, any realistic chance to win the game was lost by the third goal we conceded. This was a goal that was so comically bad, if I was a European or Asian gambler watching the game I'd be be thumping the keyboard in disgust. Now on closer inspection there was a push against Marshall, but at the time the confusion between Marshall and Roganovic looked so bad that I gave up all hope then and there.

When Billy Konstantinidis pulled it back to 3-2, some people decided to get all excited. The fools! Knights got it out to 4-2 right away, and that was that. Nick Krousoratis hit the post, and the team kept trying, but what a waste of time and energy it all was. We lost, mostly fair and square, and more or less by our own hand and hubris. Even with a lot of the changes to the first team in order to deal with the three day break and the cup-tied players, it was going to be an uphill battle. Part of that was going to be the fact that we couldn't use the cup-tied players who may have been useful, but that's the nature of recruiting in this league now, that unless you go searching in New Zealand or the abandoned A-League player pile for mid-season transfers, just about any player you sign is going to be cup-tied.

We can't even really blame the narrowed dimensions of the field. It's Knights' ground, and they're entitled to do what they want with it, and it was known weeks in advance that this was going to be the case. I'm reminded of an episode of King of the Hill (a show I have rarely ever watched) where Hank takes the role of grounds-keeper for the high school's football field, and adjusts the condition of the field, like leaving the grass long in the wide areas to combat the opposition's gun wide receivers. Everyone knows that South's offensive strength this year lies in its wingers, so why not use every means at your disposal to negate that? Meanwhile, though the injury to defensive midfielder Kosta Stratomitros early in the game didn't help, at our worst we kept banging the ball long to Billy Konstantinidis, who was out-gunned all night in the air. Thus the game at times resembled our recent loss to Dandenong City, where the opposition won the game because they got to direct affairs on their terms.

And where we sought to muck around with the ball in half dangerous areas in the back half, the Knights defence played a very disciplined style, getting any half dangerous ball out of play, adapting the old rugby union adage, "if in doubt, kick it out". That non-reluctance to give us back possession could've backfired of course, but since we decided to put in our worst defensive performance of the year, their overly cautious approach looked like genius by comparison to whatever it was that we were doing.

Now in this game at least we weren't completely outplayed in the way we were against Dandy City, but giving up the goals that we did, and failing to adequately adjust to the narrow ground and Knights' defensive set-up, meant that we had to work extra hard to create chances and score from them, while Knights only had to wait until our next screw-up or lapse in concentration.

It'll sound like a commentator's cliché, but the least you could hope for after this loss is that we learn something from it.

How about that atmosphere?
As tends to happen after a South visit to Knights Stadium, there were allegations of racist chants from the home side directed toward either our fans or players. This time it was "you dirty Turkish bastard" chants directed at Kristian Konstantinidis.

Some South fans (rightly) attempted to bring this to the attention of the world and/or Football Victoria powerbrokers like FV CEO Peter Filopoulos, while knowing full well that almost certainly nothing would be done.

This is all the more hilarious (for want of a better word) because Filopoulos took aim at South fans for their alleged cruelty toward Heidelberg player Harry Noon when he got injured last year, and also took aim (rightly) at anonymous homophobic bigots on Twitter who were targeting the Matildas.

I feel sorry for Filopoulos on one point. As a former Hellas man, if he was to initiate action against the Knights, he'd be on a hiding to nothing in terms of "bias". Still, the more pertinent issue is that everyone just seems to accept that this is how some Knights fans behave, and there's nothing that anyone with any authority on the matter can do about it, if they even want to.

Things got a bit weirder online after this when a couple of people pointed out the hypocrisy (or irony?) of some Knights fans being at the forefront of trying to take down the National Club Identity Policy, while some Knights fans continue to sing racist chants. One might even think that some of these people could be doing both.

Anyway, there's no hypocrisy here as far as I'm concerned, because they are mutually exclusive behaviours. And maybe for some Knights fans, chanting racist garbage is part of the cultural heritage they wish to maintain or propagate?

Of course all that got lost in an argument about which club was best at not partaking in the other's post-match hospitality, so we'll see you back next year* for our next visit to Knights Stadium and the ongoing fan shenanigans which nothing will ever get done about.

Happily for all concerned, that will all get overshadowed by the vile antics of some Dandy Thunder/North Sunshine fans at Paisley Park tonight.

*Assuming we don't get relegated.

Next game
Avondale at home on Sunday, that is, tomorrow. The curtain raiser for this match will be the senior women taking on Bayside.

On the couch
Tonight on Wings... ah, who cares?
Watched Hume vs Oakleigh on Tuesday night. Doesn't matter now.

Final thought
At least now we can focus all our energies on avoiding relegation, and then settling into our natural position for 2019 - either 7th or 8th.

Half team, full result - South Melbourne 2 Port Melbourne 1

Josh Dorron is that tall compared to his team mates, that he looks like a kid
who has been kept back a year in primary school. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

I had zero expectations going into this game, based on the rumour going around that we would be fielding a very irregular side, dropping this player and that player and also that guy, preferring to keep them fresh for Wednesday's cup game. This was more or less confirmed by the president during a brief chat we had before the game, and confirmed by the team sheet up online before kick off.

Of just as much concern was that we would have pre-planned, non-situational subs set up, which is the kind of thing which could backfire very easily. This was all the more worrisome because of the importance of this game to our chances of avoiding the drop, or if you're some sort of obstinate optimist, our chances of keeping up with the top six.

Nikola Roganovic dropped to the bench, replaced by Josh Dorron for his first appearance in a South shirt. Jake Marshall on the bench. Billy Konstantinidis on the bench. Zac Bates on the bench. Kristian Konstantinidis, Ben Djiba, and Leigh Minopoulos not even in the squad. Tom Aulton partnering Kostas Stratomitros at centre-back. Nick Krousoratis starting. Melvin Becket playing defensive mid! In such a crucial game, it seemed like madness, even if Port had Alan Kearney and Michael Eagar out.

Anyway, there was little time for me fret over these details, because I'd been called up to guest commentary for the match's live stream. This happened because I got to Lakeside, found myself alone and bored in the grandstand, and then moved into the scoreboard control room for a chat with the South media folks, and suddenly agreeing to do guest commentary for the senior men's game with Chris Gleeson.

Melvin Becket was the match's surprise packet. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

Now even though I have little bit of live radio broadcast experience behind me (both as a guest and as a co-host), I was still a bit nervous before doing this game, which partly comes down to working with a new partner. But even apart from that, would it be noticeable that my eyesight is not that good? Would it matter that most of the Port players I recognised I did so only because they were ex-South boys?

In the end, we probably got away with it for the most part, although there were a couple of moments where I think I could've done better. I'll be better for the run, so to speak, should I ever decide to do it again.

The biggest difference to my normal experience of a game was of course that I actually had to pay close attention to what was going on out on the field, and not spend half the game making jokes about nonsense and then asking my fellow members of Row H what just happened when something notable occurred on the field.

Congratulations to Marcus Schroen on reaching 100 games for South.
Photo: Luke Radziminski.

What I noticed by paying attention is that the game followed a familiar pattern for a 2019 South match, despite the plethora of personnel changes. In other words, long periods of relative and actual dominance, alternating with periods where we're stuck in defence with no midfield presence of which to speak, leading to a cheap goal being conceded. The first half was that summary in a nutshell. A promising early start to the game, in which we even managed to score, followed eventually by a comparatively terrible last 10 minutes of the half where we gave up a very soft goal (though credit to Sam Ford for his turning our defence inside out, as he did in the earlier fixture between the two sides).

My concern was that like last week the late goal in that half would carry over into momentum for Port in the second half (and perhaps latent memory of what happened the last time we played against each other). And at least early in the second half, Port seemed to apply the tactic of playing around Melvin Becket. But then the game became the Melvin Becket show, in the great unlikely defensive midfield performance in a South shirt since... well, I suppose Oliver Minatel's run in that position last year. It's the kind of thing that will never, ever work again, though I bet we try it again at some point.

Our midfield, when it was there, looked good, and did that familiar thing of being rotated around like playing a game of H.O.R.S.E. on a basketball court. Of course so much depends on Gerrie Sylaidos, and he certainly made his presence felt at crucial moments. Less successful were other players, notably Nick Krousoratis, who just can't take a trick at the moment. The one time he was left unmarked however on Sunday he managed to keep the ball alive and cut it back to Skapetis for his first senior South goal.

Of course after that we had enough chances to bury Port but didn't. Defensively some of the effort of keeping Port out was typically chaotic, but solid enough. It'd be nice if we could keep a clean sheet. At least we made sure that ex-South man Giordano Marafioti didn't get on the score sheet, though the fact that he couldn't get his shot on target will serve as justification for own coaching staff not playing him more often.

Next game
Melbourne Knights away on Wednesday night in the FFA Cup. While it would obviously be nice to win, we'll be going into this game as heavy underdogs, playing on a narrow, bumpy pitch, in front of a hostile crowd. All the pressure's on them really.

Relegation battle (status, ongoing, slight improvement)
While yesterday's win takes us to within two points of the top six, my sights are still firmly set on the relegation battle, and the quest to get to that nominally safe 30 point mark.

So on that front, results generally went in our favour last week. Apart from our own win - a relatively rare one against a team below us this season - Kingston, Thunder, and Pascoe Vale all lost. Dandy City and Oakleigh both won, but I think we can safely assume that in the case of City that their mid-season 'ins' have already made a big difference, while for Oakleigh their form has inevitably taken a turn for the better considering the calibre of their squad. Or one can argue that once a certain disruptive force was removed, things turned around for them, but that's not really our concern.

After Avondale on Sunday, we've got Kingston and Pascoe Vale at home. Get four points from those latter two games, and we put ourselves in a position where those two teams are very unlikely to catch us. One week at a time though.

On the couch
Yes, we have no bananas
I had wanted to go watch the senior women's game against Box Hill United on Saturday, but life got in the way. First, I had to play the role of designated Saturday supermarket trip chauffeur. Second, there were bus replacements on the Lilydale and Belgrave lines, pushing out journey times from my place to Wembley Park to two hours. Third, it's all live streamed these days, isn't it? So after I got home from Coles I chucked the game on my phone, got about two minutes in with that particular incessant noise - you either know what I'm talking about or you don't - before my Vodafone connection chucked it in for the afternoon. The only bigger pity was that the women lost 2-1, in another less than inspiring performance. At least I avoided having to eat was apparently a very dodgy souv.

Final thought
The feedback I caught up with after the game on my contribution was positive, and I thank people for that. It seems like at least some of you at home were just happy to have a South person contributing to the broadcast of a South game, which is fair enough. I tell you what, it's harder than it looks trying not to celebrate a goal by your team on a live broadcast. Much easier was avoiding falling into the suggestion made by some unhelpful people about deliberately mispronouncing key words, or doing style shout-outs to Clarendon Corner celebrities.

Crap - Dandenong City 3 South Melbourne 0

Photo: Luke Radziminski

I was death warmed up on Friday night thanks to some stupid virus, and part of me wishes that I'd not bothered making the trip out to Endeavour Hills to watch the slop that we dished out, especially if meant being mostly bed and couch-ridden for the next few days (and who knows how many days after this post).

A word about the location of Frank Holohan Soccer Complex. By NPL standards, especially NPL public transport standards, it is the Middle of Nowhere, Beyond the Black Stump, and Out the Back of Bourke all rolled into one. Thankfully I got lifts to and from the ground, because walking through the mud and darkness, and in this case the rain, would've been utter madness. I say this as someone who's read enough Australian bush gothic literature to understand the dangers that lurk in that darkness.

The public transport guide that nobody reads but me has been updated accordingly.

The game itself was a dog's breakfast from our point of view, played almost entirely on the opposition's terms. That meant a lot of contested ball, lots of aerial ping pong, and few moments where we able to maintain possession, keep it on the ground, and get numbers forward.

A South Melbourne Hellas version of Where's Wally. Photo: Luke Radziminski

That being said, even though it wasn't looking like being a good night for us, it was fairly even for the first half hour, and we largely kept City from making too many threatening advances. Of course I worried about every set piece we had to defend, because we have been poor at defending those all season, but I was still harbouring the optimistic (and in the cold light of Tuesday evening, clearly foolish) belief that we could at least get a draw out of this game.

When we did manage to get it on the ground and control the game for a ten minute spell late in the first half, we looked great, consistently dangerous, often *this* close to scoring. It was mostly down to Gerrie Sylaidos, who all of sudden was able to assert himself (and thus establish a a Hellas midfield presence when none existed previously), bringing into the game Zac Bates and Pep Marafioti, who were also able to bring in Billy Konstantinidis. Unfortunately we managed to take none of the three or four very good chances we created during that timespan - though some doubts remain about the legitimacy of the offside call which denied Billy Konstantinidis a goal.

Then we coughed up the opening goal late in the first half from a set-piece, and we were cooked. Now, someone asked after we copped that goal "who was that smartarse who said we'd cop a goal from that free kick", and I owned up to making the statement - but let's be honest, anyone could've done it at any moment during the season and it would've come out to be true, not because of some sort of voodoo, but because we have been garbage at defending corners and set pieces. And no amount of supposed voodoo would ameliorate the poor attempt at a punched clearance (and even coming out for that punch) from Nikola Roganovic, and the poor attempt at a recovery from the whole defence.

Any hope that we would be able to recover in the second half disappeared quickly. Without any midfield drive or control, all we had was long balls to Billy, most of them from Roganovic, which I think tells you where moist of those long balls were reaching Billy - a long, long way away from goal. Eventually we copped a second and a third goal, capping off a horrible night all round. We were tactically outdone by a fairly straightforward opposition game plan, executed by a collective of experienced players who were able to impose their will on the contest.

Few players were blameless in our defeat, and the coaching staff will have to their share of the responsibility too. The younger, inexperienced players I can forgive to a degree, but our more experienced players failed to show the way. Marcus Schroen for mine was the key culprit. He's had been all over the shop this season, but in recent weeks has at least been able to showcase his value to the team with some crucial goals and passes. Friday night he had a stinker, the de facto midfield captain being nigh on invisible.

I've got to say though that the poor personal discipline of some of our players leaves a lot to be desired. And I don't just mean team orientated things like tracking back (which fell away across the board on Friday night as the game wore on), or even emotional intelligence (chin up, etc), but stupid, irrelevant, hopeless moment of action. Billy Konstantinidis, for all his indisputable talent and worth to this team, is someone who doesn't quite seem able to control his worse instincts when he becomes frustrated. There's already been that suspension from his punch against Pascoe Vale, and several niggly incidence aside from that. But the push on Adrian Leijer which saw Leijer collide with City keeper Damir Salcin and begin pouring blood all over the place was a cheap, unnecessary and as it turns out very dangerous thing to do.

That he didn't get a yellow card for it - while he was already on a yellow - is a little strange to me. Just as disappointingly, Peter Skapetis - who came off the bench for his senior South debut - also engaged in pointless off-the-ball antics. What did they achieve? What could actions like that achieve? Having never been a player myself, maybe there's some hidden, unknowable (to me) psychological reason for it.

Anyway, the whole experience (except for a $2 can of soft drink) was absolute garbage, and hopefully it's a while before we have to deal anything resembling that, including the children whose screams were straight out of a horror film.

"Hail my Führer, you Greek cunts"
There have been plenty of 'charming' characters we've come across in our time in the VPL and NPL. Sadly, sometimes these are South supporters. More often than not though, the aforementioned charming characters tend to be big egos and the safety of a home ground - and sympathetic home ground security and marshals who see South Melbourne supporters as a nice, big, soft target.

This week South fans noted an escalation in abuse and threats of violence from opposition fans, with the principle offensive character being a a hi vis Hitler fan. Not sure what his issue was, as no one had said anything to him or that group of City fans along the fence. Anyway, if anything it just goes to show that making a pre-game announcement about not tolerating anti-social behaviour is a perfunctory act if nothing's done to enforce standards.

One more very petty thing...
And this applies as much to Bulleen and Monbulk as much as it does to Dandy City. If you're going to host night games, that's fine - but if you do so, could you make the effort to either have adequate lighting, or if that's possible, at least wear a kit that doesn't blend in entirely with the surrounding night?

Next game
Port Melbourne at home on Sunday, in the first of our traditional mid-season stretch of home games.

Relegation battle (status: ongoing, stable)
Aside from own rubbish result, the other results actually largely went our way. Port Melbourne and Oakleigh both drew, keeping both behind us. More importantly, Bentleigh managed to come from behind to beat Pascoe Vale, and Kingston beat Thunder, keeping Paco and Thunder six and seven points behind us respectively. And if you're really desperate for glass half full validation, even Altona Magic remained (figuratively) within the relegation battle, losing 2-1 to Melbourne Knights.

Of course much of this would matter a lot less if a) we had at least beaten or drawn a few games against the teams so rubbish that they are somehow - still! - below us, and b) didn't have such a terrible goal difference. But all of this will matter until such point as we are no longer in a relagation battle.

FFA Cup news
We have been drawn against the Melbourne Knights in round 7 of the FFA Cup. Of course, the typical South of the Border reader (whether you are South fan or a Knights fan), being highly educated and completely of the belief that there are no such as coincidences, already knew this was going to happen.

The only thing that rivals the surprise is the all NPL2 fixture that was also drawn; all of which is a reminder that there's no such thing as magic, just the combination of sleight of hand, warm balls, and enough people willing to suspend disbelief in order to make the spectacle work.

Oh, we've been drawn as the away team this time, so bonus points to Football Victoria

Mid-season transfer window comes to a close
A couple more signings to round out whatever it is we think we're doing this year.

We've signed Keenan Gibson, a central midfielder from Avondale. We've also signed Tom Aulton, a defender from Brisbane City, has also joined up. He comes with this glowing reference from up north:

Easily our best player last season at City. A rock at the back but he's got feet and plays it forward with ease. We'll miss ya' Tommy, give 'em hell! ⚪🔵

— James Freidman (@jamesfreidman) June 4, 2019

Talk seems to be that Dean Bereveskos has been moved on to Dandy Thunder, while question marks remain over the fate of Ethan Gage.

Final thought
Many thanks to Mark for helping Gains and I get to the game, and to Johnny for getting us away from there.

Wrong about everything - South Melbourne 3 Bentleigh Greens 2

I can't quite figure it out, but perhaps we've just got to accept that most of us are going to be wrong about this team and most of these players on a weekly basis, and maybe even on a minute-by-minute basis.

Certainly this season is taking its emotional toll on some of our supporters, in ways quite different from 2018. Where in 2018 one (retrospectively) spent the entire season after round 3 gearing up for a relegation battle, halfway through this season we've been through the highs of two wins in the first three games, an erratic stretch of form which saw the loss of a senior coach, still more erratic form which saw us flirt with the bottom three thanks to dropping points to most of our relegation battling compadres, and yet over the past three weeks have knocked over three of the best credentialed teams in the league.

Now to be fair, some of our supporters are more susceptible to violent mood swings than others. But this season has had a knack of overturning the expectations of even the most astute commentators. Every player is wrong, every tactic is wrong, every signing is wrong, every board maneuver in regards to coaching, player management, and selection is wrong, until things just fall into place and it works. That's not to imply imminent ascendancy for this team, because the next two weeks against bottom half teams could see us drop back into old habits and poor results. But if you're hoping for grinding 1-0 wins for the rest of the year and a seventh place finish, this might not be the season for you. You should instead settle down in front of the heater and watch videos of (stereotypical) Chris Taylor coached South sides.

Though it would be nice to keep a clean sheet, something we've only done twice in the league all season.

Losing Brad Norton to injury early on (and here's hoping it's not a serious one, even though Brad had no hesitation in subbing himself off immediately) wouldn't have helped our cause, especially since he was replaced by the Much Maligned Perry Lambropoulos on the left. Having lost his spot at right full-back to Ben Djiba, Perry is basically in the squad now as cover. One person's misfortune (Luke Adams) plus another's (Brad Norton) meant where one might otherwise play Kristian Konstantinidis on the left, Perry gets a go instead.

Perry's inclusion did stymie our ability to make progress on the left, as Lambropoulos is mich less of an attacking threat than Norton or any of the rest of our full-back options. This meant Pep Marafioti had to work a lot harder on the left in the first half, and he wasn't having a great game before that of Norton's going off anyway.

Having shown some positive signs and an ability to match it with Bentleigh in the first 20 minutes or so, we were overwhelmed bu a superior side for the rest of the half. The Greens were getting numbers forward, and their opening the scoring looked inevitable, except for Nikola Roganovic pulling out some superb saves. Unfortunately another routine defensive blunder from Kristian Konstantinidis cost us a goal.

It was his third goal-costing mistake in four matches, and each of the mistakes was easily avoidable. Against the Magic he could've easily hoofed the ball upfield instead of trying to dribble his way on his own byline; against Heidelberg, he gave away a needless and reckless penalty; and here against Bentleigh, as a cross was cleared by our defenders to the edge of the box and the rest of the defensive line moved up the field, KK decided to sit on the goal-line, keeping the Bentleigh attacker onside when the ball was sent into the box again.

And yet somehow we've managed to not lose any of those games. Go figure.

At least someone's happy - for now. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

We equalised early enough in the second half from a goal so simple in its execution you wonder why teams don't try it more often. The flu-stricken Gerrie Sylaidos got free on the right edge of the box, shot low and hard across at the Bentleigh keeper, and the resultant spill sat up beautifully for Pep Marafioti to belt home from close range.

Now I'm a Negative Nancy at the best of times, so while the crowd lifted from that unexpected goal, I said to the younger lads behind me (and they can vouch for this), "enjoy the five minutes while it lasts". Well, I was wrong about that, because we held on to the 1-1 scoreline for just three minutes, as Matt Thurtell raced through on goal unimpeded and slammed his shot into the back of the net.

Oh well, being level was fun while it lasted. And how nice would it have been if Marafioti or "he of the hamstrings which are always about to snap" Zac Bates could've slotted one of their chances soon after we had equalised. Anyway, at 2-1 down it's not like it was over, but I felt like we always had more goals to concede and not necessarily any way to match that. Well, I was wrong about that too, as Marafioti - who was playing on the right on the second half - decided to take a speculative low shot from the edge of the box, which took a deflection before settling in the back of the net.

All of a sudden it was 2-2, one felt that anything could happen, even if the most likely scenario was still us losing the game somehow. Before the game I would've been happy with a point, and at 2-2 with about twenty minutes to play, I would still have been happy with that point.

When Jake Marshall (2019's most improved South Melbourne player by a long way) got subbed off, I have to say I was a bit confused and concerned. But looking at the replay - especially of Bentleigh's second goal - and thinking it about it a bit more dispassionately, I think I understand the logic of it; even though Marshall wasn't having a poor game per se, Matt Thurtell was burning past him with pure speed too often.

But then we got the winner thanks to a corner and Kostas Stratomitros being in the right place at the right time. Say what you will about Marcus Schroen's corner taking this season - and it has often been dire - it has also occasionally been good, and when it has we have looked very dangerous from these situations.

Here's the thing - and I may have mentioned it in a previous post about Bentleigh, or I may not have, I can't recall and I'm not going to back and look for it - as good as they are in an attacking sense, they are more suspect defensively this season. Now let's put that in perspective: most NPL defences once you start putting pressure on them look suspect. But Bentleigh have looked particularly vulnerable to me, and the fact that we actually had a go made things happen.

It's a tautology of sorts, I know, but there's no use dying wondering. The corner we scored from? It came because Nick Krousoratis put in a crap ball into the box and the Bentleigh defender freaked out and booted it out behind his own goal line. That's the standard of pretty much every team in this comp once they sense there's any danger, no matter how remote.

Did we ride our luck? Did we look shaky when Bentleigh threw everything at us in the last few minutes? Well yes, of course. Did we get three points? Well actually, yes, we did. I expected at most three points from these past three league games (and really, probably only one) but here we are now with what some might call form or momentum.

We've returned to equilibrium, now can we maintain that?
It was a handy win in other ways as well, because with regards to the relegation battle, the round's other results were a bit of a mixed bag. Oakleigh and Port both won on the road, while Dandy Thunder, Pascoe Vale and Kingston all lost. Probably the most surprising result was Dandy City picking up a point at Avondale, in what may be a chilling sign of things to come.

Still, some of our bottom-half rivals might be looking at the table and wondering - as many of us are - how the hell did we manage to beat three teams on the trot that were sitting in the top six at the time.

That nice run of form has some people already looking up to a possible finals run - after all, we're just three points adrift from the sixth-placed and stuttering Melbourne Knights.

I remain more focused on getting enough points to avoid the drop or a relegation playoff. Though one person is intent on moving the goalposts about what would constitute a points total that would see us safe, I'm keener to stick with the 30 point mark as the initial aim here. At the moment we're three wins and a draw adrift of that target, and if we can't manage at least that in our remaining games, then we deserve to go down.

Next game
Dandenong City away on Friday night. Dandy City have splashed out during the mid-season transfer window, signing Carl Valeri, Adrian Leijer, and Brendon Santalab. Some of you may remember the last two playing for various clubs during the late NSL era, though I'm not sure what they've been doing in the last 15 or so years, as they kinda seemed to fall off the face of the earth.

If you're one of those weirdos who love getting to the grounds by public transport, this might be one to avoid, unless you have a plan for getting back out to civilisation somehow.

The club should demand its $50 back
We made a substitution during the second half, in which the fourth official put up the number 12 on his fancy board as both the player coming off and coming on. These blokes have basically four jobs, all of them very simple.

1. Put up the correct numbers of the subs on their fancy boards.
2. Put up the correct number of minimum amount of injury time minutes to be played.
3. Occasionally tell coaches to get back in their technical areas.
4. Pray like hell that they don't have to actually get called up to do the ref's or the lino's jobs.

That's money well spent across a season, dollars which would could just as easily be spent being put into the pocket of hard working professional NPL players who entertain thousands of people (most of them overseas gamblers, admittedly) on a weekly basis. These fourth officials need to lift their game.

Photo: Luke Radziminski.

Bucket of sand
Does anybody remember the last time a flare was lit at Lakeside Stadium? No, that's not a call for you to rip one and break the drought. It's just that someone noticed the flare buckets on standby during Sunday's game, and people were wondering when was the last time they were even needed.

The best that anyone could seem to recall, people affiliated with Pascoe Vale ripped one during the 2015 semi-final they lost against us. There was a flare confiscated and/or found during that Melbourne Victory game in 2016, but I think that's about as close as we've gotten since 2015. I can't remember the last time one of our fans ripped one.

Mumble grumble (social club kitchen)
Much dissatisfaction expressed on the forum this week about the food service in the social club. Mostly based around how slow it is. Now I usually eat in the social club well before the game, so I've dodged most of in the "just before kickoff and during the game" issues with getting food quickly from our social club.

What I will say is that the social club did look understaffed on Sunday, for reasons I'm not aware of. That certainly added to the problems experienced by several of our supporters looking to get food and drink on Sunday. There was one register open, and one guy responsible for taking order, making coffees, and getting people's drinks. That's not usually been the case the season, but you can see how that caused a lot of problems.

There have been three operators of the social club since the social club reopened, and while the quality and the range of food have varied between operators, the problems remain largely the same. Slow service and an ability to decide whether the social club space is going for speedy match day service (if it is even capable of doing this under its current setup) or bistro style cooked-on-request service.

I'm not in hospitality and never have been, but it seems that there are at least some basic solutions which would alleviate some of the current problems. The first would be to open up the canteen on the side of the grandstand (if it's not open already), and let people know that it is open (seeing as how most people enter the venue via the social club), taking some of the heat off the social club kitchen.

(and isn't getting access to that canteen and outside pouring rights on match days part of what we gave up some of our monthly income for?)

Second would be to get a coffee cart working outside of the social club. We're a winter competition, and some people are understandably going to want a warming beverage. Coffee takes longer and more effort to make than pouring a beer or soft drink. Why would you make it harder to access for punters to access and harder for staff to provide this service?

Third - and this is not my suggestion, but rather a popular one from the forum - just provide food that is easy to prepare, cook, and serve on a speed and scale befitting a soccer match instead of a sit-down restaurant. These people (by which I mean all these people who have attempted to operate the social club) have been experienced hospitality people in one form or another. It boggles the mind how this issue still hasn't been sorted out.

Mid-season transfer period news
Though some people on Sunday said there would be a Peter Skapetis related announcement on Monday, as of Tuesday afternoon there was no Peter Skapetis related news other than to say that there was strong word that he was no longer at Dandenong Thunder, which is the very definition of being neither here nor there.

Then on Tuesday evening, the announcement was finally made that the Skapetis signing had come to pass. Skapetis is a former South junior, who claimed with what felt like something with believability that scoring against us earlier in the season for Dandenong Thunder felt very wrong. He's signed until the end of 2020, but the more immediate question is who is going to make way for him? I'm guessing it's going to be Zac Bates' hamstrings, because you wouldn't drop your leading scorer in Pep Marafioti, would you?

There has also been simmering rumour chat that Canadian defensive midfielder Ethan Gage is on his way out of Lakeside, but as of Wednesday morning, he's still with us as far as I'm aware. Having said that, Gage's not being used in either the midweek cup match nor the Bentleigh game says to me that unless he's injured, there's something wrong here. We'll see what comes of it.

The transfer window reportedly closes on June 4th, so there's still time for lots of stuff to happen, or not happen.

On the couch

Momentary abstraction/Eventual clarity
It's the most curious thing - my zeal for watching other games from this league has returned just as South has managed to win a few games. I wonder what the connection might be? I'm sure I'll figure it out one day. Anyway, for whatever reason I was compelled on Monday night to watch Kingston vs Port Melbourne. I was hoping for a Kingston win, or at worst a draw between the two teams. We didn't get that. Sure, Kingston took the lead, but they coughed it up to, well, a team that deserved to win it on the balance of play. To go back to an earlier point in this post - being entertaining is fun, but perhaps not so much when you're on the bottom of the ladder. At some point you've got to control the tempo of a match, disrupt the momentum of your opponent, and grind out results rather than lose honourably.

Cue, meet rack... wait...
That aforementioned return of a zest for life? Yeah, I ended up at Knights Stadium yesterday because of it. A bit cold and some regret on that front, but I emerged emotionally unscathed, and actually also a bit entertained as well. There was an announcement that a white Toyota was blocking something or other and needed to be moved, and I had a momentary flash of panic that it was my Toyota... thankfully the licence plate number was different, and later on we found that the car was also an Aurion and not a 1989 Camry, which was eventually moved once the announcement was made again, this time in both English and Croatian.

As for the match, either way this turned out would've been funny, but seeing the cash-splashing Avondale bow out after putting the cue in the rack with a 1-0 lead and about half an hour to play, on the assumption (not entirely unreasonable, but still) that Knights would not pose a serious threat going forward, was pretty funny. This was a game whose excellence built up slowly, revealing itself only in the final minutes. A slow start from both team playing between arcs. Then Avondale having a goal cleared off the line by what Twitter says was a clear handball. Then missing a one on one. Then finally taking the lead early in the second half and deservedly so. Five or so more minutes of trying to put the game away seemed to be enough for the visitors, and that turned out to be their downfall. Knights had been ceded the initiative, they managed to get an equaliser, and we were off to extra time. Then Knights took the lead, and Avondale had to figure out how to get their way back into the game. And it wasn't like Knights were going to be hospitable in that - the ball at one stage went over the fence on the Quarry Hill side, and no one, not even the ball boys, made any effort to retrieve the ball necessitating the Avondale player on that side jumping the fence.

Funny thing was the gate was next to him 😂

— Andrew Golub (@andrewg_90) May 28, 2019

It was a stunt made riskier by the fact that it had started bucketing down in extra time. The chances also flowed from both sides after that, with Knights keeper Cakarun making one final, reaching save to preserve their lead, and Avondale sending a header from the resulting corner over the bar. So Knights progress against the odds, while Avondale bow out to chants of "cigane" coming from the Mark Viduka Stand.

Final thought
Googled myself on Google Scholar this week, and found that Andy Harper had cited my now six-year-old journal article in his own recently released journal article. I mean, it was only part of his literature review, but it's something I suppose.

Late cup report - South Melbourne 2 Langwarrin 1

This week's excuse for a late post is that I didn't finish this by Thursday night, and the next day I was off to Sydney for a couple of days thanks to a $50 Jetstar voucher someone gave me late last year. That's how they get you of course, but we can safely say that apart from an airport train and Frango's Chicken, Melbourne still has Sydney beat on the important things like weather and geographical flatness.

Also, my flight home got delayed by about 40 minutes because of some sort of passenger argle bargle at the front of the plane. Thanks a lot, chumps.

As for Wednesday's game, some people (who knew at least which division our opponents were in) were suggesting that we'd smash Langwarrin. I wasn't so sure. They've got a few ex-top tier NPL players in their squad, including Fraser Maclaren, Roddy Covarrubias, Wayne Wallace, David Stirton (allegedly), and maybe one of the Websters. Not leading their division, but in the playoff hunt, and with players "built for cup football" which is I believe the naff generalisation I used on the night.

Despite the "big names" of Langwarrin, and South fielding a weakened/non-full cream squad, it was us who opened the scoring, by which I mean Pep Marafioti sent across a, er, cross, which Nick Krousoratis - remember him? - controlled the ball beautifully at the back post for the opening goal. I mean, it was an empty net, but that ball was flying across, and it necessitated something very much like a volley at pace to score the goal.

Meanwhile, rather than outwardly celebrating too much - after all, it was just one goal, very early - some of us in Clarendon Corner attempted (mostly by accident) to make Krousoratis' effort someone what lesser than what it was, by comparing it to the four or five much easier chances that Andy Brennan missed in the home league match against Green Gully last year.

Those not in the mood for self-flagellation continued looking the search for Stirton. Surely as a redhead, he'd stand out? Had he bleached his hair? Was he tall or short? While everyone was trying to locate Stirton, Wayne Wallace somehow managed to elude three centre-backs (Adams, KK, Marshall) heading home Langwarrin's equaliser. Thus followed about ten minutes of play where Langwarrin outpaced our defenders and we did that thing where we don't have much of the ball for some reason,

At that stage Langwarrin looked quick, and not at all like the hit and hope side that existed for decade under Gus MacLeod and Caleb Nichols. Neither were they were particularly hacky in the tackling department. We worked our way back to opening them up, but missed oodles of good chances. Marcus Schroen was a major culprit again on that front, scuffing a virtual tap-in from a Pep Marafioti ball into the box, but Schroen wasn't alone on that front with several players missing good chances.

Now admittedly the second half is a bit of a blur to me now several writing this several days (and a couple of plane trips, a footy match, and a gallery visit) after the game, but I seldom thought that Langwarrin looked overly threatening during the second half. Some people remember a glancing header that could've gone anywhere but missed, but I think to myself, if that was from Covarrubias is anyone so shocked that it missed?

That's not a slur on that particular player, but rather a frank assessment of his capabilities. Maybe with some better finishing Langwarrin could've pushed us to extra time or even have pinched the win. Sure their chances were limited to a ten minute phase in the first half and glancing header in the second, but they did create something. But maybe at the end of the day, one has to perhaps acknowledge that, possibly better wages aside, there's probably a reason even the credentialed players are in NPL 2 and not NPL (1).

For our own part, we created more than enough chances, and screwed most of them up with abysmal finishing. On came Billy Konstantinidis from the bench to show the children how it's done. Another great Pep Marafioti cross was met by an excellent Konstantinidis header, and we were back in front and seldom ever troubled from that point on, even with a healthy dose of injury time.

While the first half was reasonably clean on the discipline front, the second was much messier. The visitor's tackling got more fierce and/or reckless, and there was also some behind the scenes nonsense. In the lead-up to our second goal, Gerrie Sylaidos was sandwiched in a tackle by two Langy players - we hope he's fine. Less optimistic is the outlook for Luke Adams, whom forum rumours are suggesting will be out for the rest of the season with a serious knee injury.

So while it was fun to win the game and progress to the next round, it did come at a cost to our chances of surviving the drop this season, which remains our chief concern. This is especially the case now that Oakleigh has started claiming points at a brisker pace, and as other teams (Dandy City) start splurging on former A-League players.

But still, comedy Darwin Olympic chants aside - and the hope that we can catch the desert bus on the way to Darwin - there are already people asking when the next round will be drawn. Sorry to say folks that it probably won't be until late next week, after the remainder of round six matches are completed. Thus far, the only other team to have made it through to round seven is NPL2 side Moreland Zebras, who took out State League 2 side Westgate 2-0.

But look at you all now. Just a couple of weeks ago you were all doom and gloom, and now you're all excited to be going to South games again, thinking that the world is once becoming our oyster, sort of. You're nothing but a pack of fickle mush-heads.

Next game
Sunday arvo (ie, tomorrow) at Lakeside against Bentleigh Greens, who are fresh off beating the previously unbeaten Avondale, but who also begin a new era without coach John Anastasiadis, who has moved across to an assistant role at Western United. Will they rest players in this game due to their having a cup game in midweek? We can only hope that they do, and that we can take advantage of that.

Signings! Two of them!
The club has announced its first two two signings of the mid-season transfer window. One is midfielder Melvin Becket most recently from NPL2 side Geelong, as well as (to quote one of smfcfans.com's more knowledgeable posters) Pascoe Vale, Port Melbourne, Melbourne Knights, Oakleigh, and Altona Magic.

The other signing is Josh Dorron, a goalkeeper from Doveton. Yes, he is that Josh from the cup game against Doveton two weeks ago, and whom rumour was circulating about last week. You may also recall that I suggested last week that if the club did sign him, it would be in large part due to him having the rare honour of being a lower league player who performed in front an actual South Melbourne power-broker.

If that sounds like a harsh assessment of our recruiting methods, well at least I didn't suggest that Dorron (and how much of the mystique is gone now that he has a surname?) was signed because he's a massive unit.

There's still strong talk about Peter Skapetis being brought across to the club. While I have discussed the implications of such a thing happening on the terraces, in terms of who would be dropped to the bench, and who would be let go completely - it's probably not worth putting the effort playing that hypothetical while he's not been officially signed yet.

Final thought
After much disappointment at missing the no. 12 tram back into the city, I walked up Clarendon Street to the corner of Park, hoping to catch the no. 1 instead. A great end to a top-night all round. Didn't even need to jaywalk.

Pantomime - Heidelberg United 1 South Melbourne 3

This game simultaneously had a bit of everything and a whole lot of nothing, and if you missed it for whatever reason, you missed one of the more off-tap local soccer experiences of recent times.

I will say this from the get-go - it was an ordeal getting to the ground. Not public transport wise, but everything aside from that. Insane roadworks on Glengala Road, fine, these things happen, and a massive detour to get to Sunshine station required. But it was also an ordeal getting into the ground. After having promoted the fact that the southern gates would be open from 4:30pm, this detail was changed about an hour before kickoff in the main game to 'yeah, nah', for reasons which will forever remain a mystery.

But at least I managed to make it to the ground - the designated officials for the under 20s game reportedly failed to show up at all, and thus that game was never even started. Probably a common sense outcome under the circumstances, but South of the Border's go to guy for Football Victoria bylaws says that the game should still have gone ahead, with the home team providing match officials in lieu of the missing referees.

Anyway, arriving at the aforementioned southern gate, I saw that the Bentleigh peanut man was also locked outside. There was a security person on the inside, but even after I noted that I had a media pass (and thus wouldn't need to make a financial transaction to enter), I was informed that he couldn't let me in via that gate as he didn't have a key. Thus was necessitated a massive walk around the back of Olympic Village to get into the ground, upon whose entry the previously mentioned mystery was probably solved - there were fuck-all people at the ground, and thus no need to spend money on extra security and gate attendants for a fixture of minimal appeal.

Now I've seen good crowds at the Village in games between these two sides, and I've seen poor ones, but pound-for-pound this was one of the worst attendances I've seen for a derby here. I think back to the last round of 2012, where the Bergers were already relegated and we were out of the running for finals, and this was much closer to that than anyone would have liked. I suppose the low turnout of ours fans was understandable - we've been erratically pus for good chunks of the season, and what's more, there's no hope left in the club to drag in the slightly less rusted on. Indeed, the South contingent on the outer side before the game that it seemed so small that even the one overly keen security guard assigned to that area was probably overkill

They were driving a car of some sort.

But for the Bergers and their fans? They're the reigning champs and are still a top three side so far this season, and their support also seemed poor. One Berger who did turn up did so in a (I assume) rented convertible sports-car of some sort (someone said it was a Porsche, but I don't know cars, OK?), dressed in his wedding suit and bringing along his new bride along for the ride. The car was parked on the goat running track on the western side of the ground where the South fans tend to congregate, where the bride and groom eventually had a wedding photo taken with the current Bergers squad. Why he decided to come onto the western instead of eastern side of the ground is curious, but one can assume that he wanted to aggravate the South fans on the hill with chants directed their way.

Of course he copped abuse from some of our fans, which kick-started the latent pantomime feeling supposedly inherent in derby games. Rumour has it that the groom was actually Heidelberg Laser Dude himself, but I can't confirm that myself. One wonders what the bride made of it all, especially as she (and here's putting my Australian soccer racial profiling hat on) looked to be of south-east Asian origins, and thus not likely to be familiar with the white hot passion engendered by this once great rivalry.

While the bride and groom were off to the side, there was also a minute's silence for the late David Cervinski, and some bloke in the crowd took up the role of cantor; my Greek Orthodox church attendance being as poor as it's ever been, I can't say if it was a prayer was for the dead or a celebratory one for the bride and groom - let's assume it was the latter.

Finally the game got underway, and look - I was distracted by wild conversation for a good chunk of it. As usual in 2019, see Luke's blog for an actual match report. But I did see Zac Bates dink the ball over the Bergers keeper for 1-0, Marcus Schroen bumble the ball into the roof of the net, and I certainly saw Gerrie Sylaidos' shot for 3-0 - hell, I was halfway down the hill as soon as Gerrie took the shot.

3-0 up at halftime, only an all-time and yet entirely plausible implosion would see us cough up the lead. The Bergers showed a bit more initiative and had a shot hit the crossbar early on in the second half, but in general we were doing enough to maintain the lead and they weren't doing enough to make a comeback. Reuben Way getting sent off for a second yellow - a dodgy handball call, but stuff him, I say - should have made things harder for the home team, but then came the classic Kristian Kontantinidis Klanger. With his Berger opponent turning away from goal and being no obvious threat, KK decides to clatter right into him for an obvious penalty.

Kosta Stratomitros prepares to be stretchered off the field
after being violently tackled. Photo: Luke Radziminski. 

Thankfully, though the home team scored the penalty, they never really came too close to another one. When Lewis Hall tried to smash through Kosta Statromitros' through the latter's shin, Hall was shown his marching orders, and that was pretty much that for the game; except for Heidelberg assistant coach Jeff Olver getting red carded for smashing a chair on the sidelines I assume.

It would've been nice however if the Heidelberg marshals didn't delay getting the stretcher out to Stratomitros, but at least our man has apparently avoided major injury and shouldn't miss any time.

With Heidelberg down to effectively eight players thanks to the two reds and an injury, we wavered between running over the top of them and just playing calm, risk-free possession football. The last ten minutes (including the seven minutes of injury time) was a bit better, as the risk of the Bergers getting back into the game was over, but our finishing was dire, leaving some to lament the missed opportunity to boost our goal difference.

At the end of the game, one hoped for the southern gates to be opened up to allow the meagre crowd to leave from there, and head back to their cars in Northland's car park. No dice. At least I avoided getting mugged on the dark path alongside Darebin Creek; less fortunate was having to deal with Heidelberg Harismidis on the bus until I got to Preston station. That's the great public transport peanut gallery for ya.

Next game
Back to Lakeside, and back to cup action on Wednesday night against Langwarrin. Langwarrin are a capable NPL2 side, with quite a few veteran NPL players, so I'm expecting a pretty tough game.

Partly borrowed midpoint summary

Half way through the season. @smfc currently sitting in 8th position. Interestingly, we've taken more points from the teams above us (1-7) 3W 1D 3L than below (9-14) 2W 1D 3L. That's good... but should be a lot better. Still, positive signs. Keep fighting lads.

— ēļřāffő (@dvrf1878) May 18, 2019

Thanks, Dave. Not that one wants to throw away the six points gained over the past two weeks (and the comparatively more competent performances that came with them), but if we'd managed to take at least some points off Kingston, Oakleigh, and Pascoe Vale, it wouldn't be just points gained for us, but also points taken off fellow relegation battling opponents.

Anyway, if the magic number is 30 points to guarantee survival*, we're two points ahead of where we need to be, with a stack of home games to come which should make things easier.** More importantly, we're three points ahead of Pascoe Vale and Port Melbourne, four points ahead of Dandenong Thunder, and five ahead of 12th placed Oakleigh who lie in the playoff spot, who despite their ongoing struggle to get results are apparently improving their general play and are now closer to 'unlucky' rather than merely 'crap'. So, you know, no time to rest on our laurels and such.

*Not a guarantee.

** It probably won't.

Fare thee well. Bon voyage. Toodle-oo.
Goalkeeper Alastair Bray is no longer at the club; his current whereabouts and/or ultimate destination remain unknown at this point in time, and no, I'm not going to stalk him on Instagram. Bray's irrepressible talent for getting injured limited his appearances for the club to a miserly two games - round 1 of last year, where he was crippled by a reckless Bulleen player; and round whatever it was when we played Pascoe Vale away this year, where an underdone Bray made that dreadful error which set us back 1-0 early in that game. A pity that it couldn't have turned out differently. Had he not been injured in that Bulleen game, Sasa Kolman might still be coaching us. Hmm.

All of which means we're probably on the lookout for a backup goalkeeper, because realistically Amir Jashari isn't going to be a good enough prospect for that role. Which, if we're being honest, should be communicated to the lad quite clearly so that he can move on to another club, even if lower down the league system, so that he can start playing regular senior football.

As for who will or should become the backup keeper, some of 'they' are saying that we've signed 'Josh' from Doveton. I have no idea if this is true or not. Neither do I want to disparage 'Josh's' abilities based on the one game I've seen him play, in which I saw him ably close down attacks on relatively tight angles. But if it is true, all I can think is that the club has made the recruiting choice in large part due to the fact that it was the one time that members of the football committee had actually ventured out of their comfort zones and watched a game involving an unfamiliar opponent.

Such cynicism! Such unbecoming cynicism even! But if you thin that's bad, you should hear the terrace chat about who we're looking to bring back in! Utterly unprintable, and scarcely believable, but imagine the possibilities!

Final thought
Hmm, football seems enjoyable again these last two weeks. Not sure why.