Crap - Dandenong City 3 South Melbourne 0

Photo: Luke Radziminski

I was death warmed up on Friday night thanks to some stupid virus, and part of me wishes that I'd not bothered making the trip out to Endeavour Hills to watch the slop that we dished out, especially if meant being mostly bed and couch-ridden for the next few days (and who knows how many days after this post).

A word about the location of Frank Holohan Soccer Complex. By NPL standards, especially NPL public transport standards, it is the Middle of Nowhere, Beyond the Black Stump, and Out the Back of Bourke all rolled into one. Thankfully I got lifts to and from the ground, because walking through the mud and darkness, and in this case the rain, would've been utter madness. I say this as someone who's read enough Australian bush gothic literature to understand the dangers that lurk in that darkness.

The public transport guide that nobody reads but me has been updated accordingly.

The game itself was a dog's breakfast from our point of view, played almost entirely on the opposition's terms. That meant a lot of contested ball, lots of aerial ping pong, and few moments where we able to maintain possession, keep it on the ground, and get numbers forward.

A South Melbourne Hellas version of Where's Wally. Photo: Luke Radziminski

That being said, even though it wasn't looking like being a good night for us, it was fairly even for the first half hour, and we largely kept City from making too many threatening advances. Of course I worried about every set piece we had to defend, because we have been poor at defending those all season, but I was still harbouring the optimistic (and in the cold light of Tuesday evening, clearly foolish) belief that we could at least get a draw out of this game.

When we did manage to get it on the ground and control the game for a ten minute spell late in the first half, we looked great, consistently dangerous, often *this* close to scoring. It was mostly down to Gerrie Sylaidos, who all of sudden was able to assert himself (and thus establish a a Hellas midfield presence when none existed previously), bringing into the game Zac Bates and Pep Marafioti, who were also able to bring in Billy Konstantinidis. Unfortunately we managed to take none of the three or four very good chances we created during that timespan - though some doubts remain about the legitimacy of the offside call which denied Billy Konstantinidis a goal.

Then we coughed up the opening goal late in the first half from a set-piece, and we were cooked. Now, someone asked after we copped that goal "who was that smartarse who said we'd cop a goal from that free kick", and I owned up to making the statement - but let's be honest, anyone could've done it at any moment during the season and it would've come out to be true, not because of some sort of voodoo, but because we have been garbage at defending corners and set pieces. And no amount of supposed voodoo would ameliorate the poor attempt at a punched clearance (and even coming out for that punch) from Nikola Roganovic, and the poor attempt at a recovery from the whole defence.

Any hope that we would be able to recover in the second half disappeared quickly. Without any midfield drive or control, all we had was long balls to Billy, most of them from Roganovic, which I think tells you where moist of those long balls were reaching Billy - a long, long way away from goal. Eventually we copped a second and a third goal, capping off a horrible night all round. We were tactically outdone by a fairly straightforward opposition game plan, executed by a collective of experienced players who were able to impose their will on the contest.

Few players were blameless in our defeat, and the coaching staff will have to their share of the responsibility too. The younger, inexperienced players I can forgive to a degree, but our more experienced players failed to show the way. Marcus Schroen for mine was the key culprit. He's had been all over the shop this season, but in recent weeks has at least been able to showcase his value to the team with some crucial goals and passes. Friday night he had a stinker, the de facto midfield captain being nigh on invisible.

I've got to say though that the poor personal discipline of some of our players leaves a lot to be desired. And I don't just mean team orientated things like tracking back (which fell away across the board on Friday night as the game wore on), or even emotional intelligence (chin up, etc), but stupid, irrelevant, hopeless moment of action. Billy Konstantinidis, for all his indisputable talent and worth to this team, is someone who doesn't quite seem able to control his worse instincts when he becomes frustrated. There's already been that suspension from his punch against Pascoe Vale, and several niggly incidence aside from that. But the push on Adrian Leijer which saw Leijer collide with City keeper Damir Salcin and begin pouring blood all over the place was a cheap, unnecessary and as it turns out very dangerous thing to do.

That he didn't get a yellow card for it - while he was already on a yellow - is a little strange to me. Just as disappointingly, Peter Skapetis - who came off the bench for his senior South debut - also engaged in pointless off-the-ball antics. What did they achieve? What could actions like that achieve? Having never been a player myself, maybe there's some hidden, unknowable (to me) psychological reason for it.

Anyway, the whole experience (except for a $2 can of soft drink) was absolute garbage, and hopefully it's a while before we have to deal anything resembling that, including the children whose screams were straight out of a horror film.

"Hail my Führer, you Greek cunts"
There have been plenty of 'charming' characters we've come across in our time in the VPL and NPL. Sadly, sometimes these are South supporters. More often than not though, the aforementioned charming characters tend to be big egos and the safety of a home ground - and sympathetic home ground security and marshals who see South Melbourne supporters as a nice, big, soft target.

This week South fans noted an escalation in abuse and threats of violence from opposition fans, with the principle offensive character being a a hi vis Hitler fan. Not sure what his issue was, as no one had said anything to him or that group of City fans along the fence. Anyway, if anything it just goes to show that making a pre-game announcement about not tolerating anti-social behaviour is a perfunctory act if nothing's done to enforce standards.

One more very petty thing...
And this applies as much to Bulleen and Monbulk as much as it does to Dandy City. If you're going to host night games, that's fine - but if you do so, could you make the effort to either have adequate lighting, or if that's possible, at least wear a kit that doesn't blend in entirely with the surrounding night?

Next game
Port Melbourne at home on Sunday, in the first of our traditional mid-season stretch of home games.

Relegation battle (status: ongoing, stable)
Aside from own rubbish result, the other results actually largely went our way. Port Melbourne and Oakleigh both drew, keeping both behind us. More importantly, Bentleigh managed to come from behind to beat Pascoe Vale, and Kingston beat Thunder, keeping Paco and Thunder six and seven points behind us respectively. And if you're really desperate for glass half full validation, even Altona Magic remained (figuratively) within the relegation battle, losing 2-1 to Melbourne Knights.

Of course much of this would matter a lot less if a) we had at least beaten or drawn a few games against the teams so rubbish that they are somehow - still! - below us, and b) didn't have such a terrible goal difference. But all of this will matter until such point as we are no longer in a relagation battle.

FFA Cup news
We have been drawn against the Melbourne Knights in round 7 of the FFA Cup. Of course, the typical South of the Border reader (whether you are South fan or a Knights fan), being highly educated and completely of the belief that there are no such as coincidences, already knew this was going to happen.

The only thing that rivals the surprise is the all NPL2 fixture that was also drawn; all of which is a reminder that there's no such thing as magic, just the combination of sleight of hand, warm balls, and enough people willing to suspend disbelief in order to make the spectacle work.

Oh, we've been drawn as the away team this time, so bonus points to Football Victoria

Mid-season transfer window comes to a close
A couple more signings to round out whatever it is we think we're doing this year.

We've signed Keenan Gibson, a central midfielder from Avondale. We've also signed Tom Aulton, a defender from Brisbane City, has also joined up. He comes with this glowing reference from up north:

Easily our best player last season at City. A rock at the back but he's got feet and plays it forward with ease. We'll miss ya' Tommy, give 'em hell! ⚪🔵

— James Freidman (@jamesfreidman) June 4, 2019

Talk seems to be that Dean Bereveskos has been moved on to Dandy Thunder, while question marks remain over the fate of Ethan Gage.

Final thought
Many thanks to Mark for helping Gains and I get to the game, and to Johnny for getting us away from there.