Kiss of Death, Round 13, 2012

This week's Kiss of Death is being tipped based on what results suit South Melbourne. As of now, all results must go South's way. Gamble at your own peril based on these tips. You have been warned.

Euro 2012 Tipping vs Arthur Papas
Congratulations to Arthur Papas for winning the tipping comp against the Kiss of Death. The final score was 20-14. Not only did Arthur get more win/loss/draw points (15-12), but he also won the correct result tally (5-2).

Friday 8:15 PM Bentleigh Greens (4th) vs Richmond (10th)
This game needs a draw. A draw will enable South to pull away from the bottom and climb into the upper half of the table. Richmond are the draw specialists this season, so hopefully they continue that trend. Bentleigh lost 2-0 at Gully last week which was not good for South, and Richmond drew 0-0 against Northcote which was good. Transfer window opened up this week and Skorich has left Bentleigh for the Zebras. Bentleigh Greens 1 – Richmond 1.

Saturday 3:00 PM Northcote City (3rd) vs Southern Stars (6th)
Southern Stars upset everyone last week. They beat the high flying Thunder 2-1. But, I have heard a rumour that the Stars have run out of money and the players have been told not to expect anything. Hopefully this stops their little run out of the bottom. Northcote is doing well under Loza. South needs Northcote to win. A draw is no good because then South can’t jump Southern Stars. Northcote 3 – Southern Stars 2.

Saturday 7:00 PM Dandenong Thunder (1st) vs Hume City (7th)
Pretty much a dead rubberfor South. A win by Dandy will be good. We can’t catch them anyway, but we can catch Hume. Dandenong Thunder 3 – Hume City 0.

Sunday 3:00 PM Melbourne Knights (9th) vs Moreland (11th)
You all know I’m a secret Knights fan, but I’m going to have to tip a draw here. South above all else and South needs this one to draw. The Knights have recruited a couple during the transfer window and Moreland has gone and signed Grant Brebner, Andrew Nabbout, Skorich and some dude from Ballarat. Only one I rate is Nabbout. At least the food will be good at Somers St. Cevaps and cabbage with some Karlovacko Pivo. Melbourne Knights 2 – Moreland 2.

Sunday 3:00 PM Heidelberg United (12th) vs Green Gully Cavaliers (5th)
The Bergers are in real trouble if they lose this one. They have been emptied out apparently in this transfer window, and Katsakis has a difficult task of keeping them up. For the sake of Hellas, the Bergers need to win against Gully. Here’s a conspiracy I’m making up now and hoping it will spread. If the Bergers lose to Gully, it’s so that South don’t make the finals. They would rather go down to State 1, as long as South doesn’t make the Top 5. Get around it and spread it my children.
Heidelberg United 2 – Green Gully 1.

Sunday 5:00 PM South Melbourne (8th) vs Oakleigh Cannons (2nd)
Match of the round. Will this be South's turning point? Will South pull out all stops and start putting teams away? Will Oakleigh start to falter? Will Zois hear about how much he “loves this club”?(LOL)

South was very good at Whittlesea last Sunday night. Fuck me was it cold. We played a calculated game with attacking purpose. A win would’ve been a bonus, but when you hit the post, the crossbar and McMaster pulls saves out of his arse, you can’t blame the team. What I can blame the team for though is, short corners, quick free kicks and bad decisions. Some examples. O’Dor comes up for a corner, we decide to play it short, we lose it, then O’Dor needs to sprint the full length of the pitch to get back into position. Gasparis took three corners in the first half that all went out of play. Don’t know which Trif, but one of them has this thing about taking quick free kicks. WTF? Just wait for a second man. Then we have players in not so good positions to shoot, yet no one in the middle for a cross, so they decide to cross anyway. Either hold the fucken thing, or try your luck with a shot. Why oh why does Gus persist with Petreski. He is not starting eleven material at South. We are not desperate to fill positions because we have no players. Take him off please, in the name of Hellas. A positive though is the subs Gus made. Surprise, surprise, he made them with 20mins to go. WAHHH Wild Scenes! Oakleigh had a 3-2 win against the Bergers last week after being 3-0 up. This shows defensive frailties. Hopefully South can exploit this. South Melbourne 3 – Oakleigh Cannons 0.

Derby Daze - South Melbourne 2 Heidelberg United 1

Wednesday morning, we publish the Kiss of Death's mid-season ratings. But for now let's bask in the glory of a derby win.

It was a messy, but entertaining match, full of passion, spite, and action. End to end stuff a lot of the time.

And the best thing is, we won. Snapped our four game home losing streak. Put the Bergers in deeper relegation danger. Maybe turned our season around.

Adidas Hoodies
Get around them! (preferably in blue, though).

Countdown to Oblivion
Nice to see a clock integrated into the scoreboard experience. Next step - a clock that counts up. It was quite nerve wracking seeing that clock countdown... and then injury time, nothing.

Disco Inferno
I can understand playing sponsor announcements, highlights of previous games, etc on the scoreboard. But I can't take much more of the pre-game and half time music.

Burn down the disco
Hang the blessed DJ
Because the music that they constantly play
It says nothing to me about my life

Taste is one thing, and that dance crap does nothing for me. But it's almost impossible for people to talk to each other in the stands. To think, that even at the MCG it's not as bad as it once was. Just turn it off, the music isn't fooling anyone that we're not in the VPL.

Euro 2012 Digression/I'm Rich, Biatch
Arthur Papas has a three point lead over the Kiss of Death as we head into the final state of their tipping competition.

More important, however, is the fact that trash talking England fan Steve from Broady, whose perennial and unfathomable optimism about England, in the face of all history and logic, now owes me $5.

The clown - and really, that's the only way to put it, after being on the receiving end of about three years of nonsense tirades about how England's 'time was now', wagered that they would at least make the final. I even offered to not take his money if they at least made the semis.

Really, being proven right about England failing is like shooting the proverbial fish in the barrel. But still, there's something to be said for moral victories.

Fight to the End
Two scuffles, and the will to put our bodies on the line.

While it costs you in the long run, for once we were more likely to get yellow cards than the opposition.

It was scrappy a lot of the time, but the base line that everyone must start with is at least putting in 90 minutes of effort.

Nα Τσουξει
It means 'to smart, to sting, to hurt'.

I'm all for 30 metre rocket goals, but when it comes to the Bergers, I'd rather the dodgiest goal you can imagine. 5-0 wins are great too, but just as sweet are the arsey wins. Think the injury time sting of the 2006 round one win at Olympic Village, or last year's elimination final, where we scored from a dodgy penalty, and had Hamlet Armenian twice stuff up the equaliser from their own dodgy penalty.

And the fact that they got their hopes up so early into the game, after Peter Gavalas and a mystery central defender got nowhere near an unmarked Ben Griffiths on the edge of the six yard box makes it even better.

Of course, at that stage, the absolute only positive one could possibly find to avoid more wrist slashing was that we had another 88 minutes to redeem ourselves.

There seems to be universal agreement that our first goal had more than a whiff of offside - something like two metres - but in this case, the more offside, the better.

The fact that it was a direct ball to Trent Rixon, who laid it off for an unmarked Jason Trifiro, was icing on the cake. It was the thing we should have been doing all season, yet it came across as something so rare and novel.

The second goal, courtesy of a Brad Norton shot from the edge of the box, took a massive deflection, giving Heidelberg's goalkeeper no chance.

Late in the game, Heidelberg received a free kick in a reasonably dangerous position. Up stepped that noted free kick specialist (snigger) Kristian Sarkies. Did he take a shot? No. Did he pass it across to the free man on the right hand side? No. Did he place a basically harmless dink over the top which we fairly easily cleared? Yes.

Rivalry
There's people that will tell you this rivalry is dead. They can get stuffed.

The crowd numbers are of course a mere shadow of what they were in the now long distant glory days. The average age of the spectators would make a pension day line at the Borrack Square Commonwealth Bank look like a kindergarten class.

But man, it still means something to everyone that rocks up to these games. It means something to George Katsakis, to Gus Tsolakis, and amazingly, it seemed to mean something for the players as well.

And it was pleasing to see Heidelberg actually try to take the game on, instead of sit back and absorb pressure. I'll give them that much. They're a long way from safety now, though.

Under 21s
Drew 2-2. Saw the second half, pretty even, but messy game. Maybe Bergers a bit stiff not to come away with all the points.

Zenith
It wasn't necessarily the prettiest thing, but pretty hasn't got us very far this season.

Kiss of Death vs Arthur Papas, Euro 12 tipping showdown

The Kiss of Death (left) and Arthur Papas (right) prepare for their tipping duel

Me? I don't care about Euro 2012, except for this stupid bet that I have with the relentlessly (and stereotypically) optimistic Ingerlund fan, Steve from Broady, that England won't make the final. He was so confident that they would make it at least that far, he was willing to bet me a whole $5. Mind you, he also claimed that he would easily beat me in a 100 metre foot race, but then refused to put up or shut up, claiming he needed time to stretch, and that he also didn't have the right shoes. Even after I offered him a 20 metre headstart.

But anyway, enough about that. The Kiss of Death is not just interested in the tournament, but also willing to put its credibility on the line against Aussie coaching's next big thing Arthur Papas. Following his slaughter of Lucky Chrisomalidis in last year's wager, the Kiss of Death is willing to take it up a notch. Fairly simple rules I think should be applied. One point for a correct guess (win/loss/draw), and a bonus point for the correct score). Over to the Kiss of Death for its take.

Brains vs Brawns.
This month I will be going head to head with coach Arthur Papas in tipping the UEFA Euro 2012 tournament. Arthur contacted me through my email address kodvic@gmail.com and lo and behold, he is a huge fan of the KOD’s, and also a pretty good bloke. After a few emails back and forth to India, Arthur agreed to participate in a tipping competition against none other than myself. Wild Scenes!
This is how it will work. We will both be tipping the four stages of the tournament in advance as they approach, eg, we have already tipped all the group games. This will be an interesting hitout.

The combatants
Arthur Papas, age: 31

• Mens Football Scholarship with Jan Versleijen and Gary Van Egmond under the mentorship of FFA technical director Han Berger.
• Masters in Sports Coaching
• AFC A Licence
• Assistant Coach Altona Gate & Melbourne Knights
• Finals coach with Oakleigh Cannons
• India U23 (Current)
• Head Coach Pailan Arrows (Current)

KOD Age: mid 30s

• FFV Community Coach – Youth Licence
• Have won many tournaments in Football Manager (PC)
• Have promoted lower league teams higher up the tree, and won numerous FA Cups with minnows.
• Potentially the next best thing since sliced bread.

Group Stage Tips
Group A 9 June Poland vs Greece, KOD:1-2 AP: 0-1
Group A 9 June Russia vs Czech Republic, KOD: 2-2 AP: 1-1

Group B 10 June Netherlands vs Denmark, KOD:2-0 AP:3-0
Group B 10 June Germany vs Portugal, KOD: 2-1 AP: 1-1

Group C 11 June Spain vs Italy, KOD: 2-1 AP: 1-1
Group C 11 June Republic of Ireland vs Croatia, KOD: 0-2 AP: 0-0

Group D 12 June France vs England, KOD: 2-1 AP:1-1
Group D 12 June Ukraine vs Sweden, KOD: 2-0 AP: 1-0

Group A 13 June Greece vs Czech Republic, KOD: 1-1 AP: 0-0
Group A 13 June Poland vs Russia, KOD: 1-0 AP: 0-2

Group B 14 June Denmark vs Portugal, KOD: 2-2 AP: 1-2
Group B 14 June Netherlands vs Germany, KOD: 1-1 AP: 2-2

Group C 15 June Italy vs Croatia, KOD: 1-1 AP: 2-1
Group C 15 June Spain vs Republic of Ireland, KOD: 3-0 AP: 2-0

Group D 16 June Ukraine vs France, KOD: 2-2 AP: 0-2
Group D 16 June Sweden vs England, KOD: 1-2 AP: 1-2

Group A 17 June Greece vs Russia, KOD: 1-0 AP: 1-1
Group A 17 June Czech vs Republic Poland, KOD: 1-2 AP: 1-1

Group B 18 June Portugal vs Netherlands, KOD: 1-2 AP: 2-3
Group B 18 June Denmark vs Germany, KOD: 0-2 AP: 0-2

Group C 19 June Croatia vs Spain, KOD: 3-2 AP: 1-3
Group C 19 June Italy vs Republic of Ireland, KOD: 3-0 AP: 0-1

Group D 20 June Sweden vs France, KOD: 0-1 AP: 0-1
Group D 20 June England vs Ukraine, KOD: 2-0 AP: 2-1