Two victories for the price of one

Ok, so you missed the Victorian Football Show on Wednesday night for whatever reason (probably watching Spicks 'n' Specks. You make me sick.). And you're thinking that you didn't miss much, because you got the gist of the Ross Alatsas slight against South fans from me, and you've rationalised that you can always download the Green Gully - Coburg United highlights off the Green Gully site. Well then you probably don't know that the South Women's first round victory was the opening game on the highlights package. So watch it for that. Wonder how Spiranovic wasn't given the penalty to take to complete her hat-trick. Marvel at how John Vithoulkas is allowed anywhere near a microphone. Then settle down by watching the Box Hill and Heidelberg women's game. And then, finally, with a mug of warm cocoa, watch the Men's big win over Preston. Revel in how awful the surface at BT Connor looks. Be amazed at how the self-professed 'best supported club in the state' can only muster 2,300 fans to the biggest day in these miserable people's lives. Keep playing over and over Ross Alatsas' 'all fans let in' slip up until you work yourself into a Killing Joke style frenzy of persistent drums, cascading guitar lines, and a bass sound that's not very powerful because the mix is far too thin. Then pray to your chosen invisible friend (mine's the goddess Fortuna) that we play a shitload better than that this week because playing like that week in week out isn't going to get us too far.

Channel 31. Click on the FFV bit of the watch it now or whatever they call it. You're smart, you know how to do these things.

Ross Alatsas, I reject your reality and substitute my own

Ok, so I'm watching the Victorian Football Show on Channel 31 for the first time since we beat Western Suburbs - I don't watch replays of any sporting team I follow if they lose or draw (which is not being fickle, but rather shows my dedication in that I can't stomach non-victories) - and was slightly miffed at host Ross Alatsas' little intro comment that 'wasn't it great that the doors were open to all supporters for this game'. Now maybe Ross lives in a little media pass bubble, maybe his glamorous managership job at Stars Receptions has clouded his judgment, or maybe he just wasn't there, didn't know, or no one told him, but if he likes we could go together to BT Connor Reserve (or as it also known, Lions 'Stadium' snigger), and I could show him the view about 40 of us had after we weren't let in, because Preston said they couldn't guarantee our safety. Then again, maybe we weren't let in because of our giant swastika banners (which looked oddly like our regular South Melbourne banners), our rocket flares (which when released appeared to the untrained eye as multi-coloured streamers), and off key singing of songs from the classic musical The King and I (which were so off-key, they came out sounding like our regular South chants). Or maybe we were let in, and since the game was so boring, we all had a simultaneous hallucination of being discriminated against because we were all far too good looking and would intimidate all those 1980s tracksuit wearing Preston fans. What do you think Ross?