The Old Adage - Melbourne Knights 3 South Melbourne 2

It's not how, it's how many. Truer words have never been spoken. OK, maybe they have, I'm not conducting an audit here. And now that I think about it, sometimes the how is as important than the how many, perhaps even more important. No, as important.

Anyway, three set piece goals, nearly identical to each other for the appalling decision making which lead to the cheap fouls gifting the opposition the chance to swing in dangerous balls, the appalling goalkeeping which saw Keegan Coulter get nowhere near two of the balls he came out for, and the appalling marking in a team with three or four centre-backs on the field at any given time. At the other end of the ground you had the farcical situation of attacking players being unwilling to shoot, or unable to put in a proper cross, or be in the right spot to receive a pass or latch on to a loose ball. It's like a variation of the Dr. Katz joke about the three most dangerous parts of flying, where our three biggest problems at the moment are attacking, defending, and everything else.

Having said all of that, I thought we actually played pretty well. Truth be told, Knights were rubbish after halftime, and ran out of gas well before full time, but still we dominated general play, looked good on both sides of the field, controlled the ball in the middle, and created many dangerous situations. It's probably the best we've played over a whole for several weeks. It didn't get us any points though, and that's all that matters at the moment, because as the arch-miserablists have been keen to remind everybody, we've pretty much played only the easy teams so far, and have all the leading sides to come.

Actually, and this isn't just contrariness on my part - or at least I hope it isn't - but the more I thought about the loss on Friday night over the weekend, the more optimistic I got about what's to come. As far as I could tell, we didn't pick up any new injuries, and with Andy Brennan due back this week, we at least have one more genuine starting eleven option. Marcus Schroen, even though far from my favourite player, is back in training. The return of Jake Marshall to the field means that we have more flexibility in how we line up defensively. And perhaps most importantly, after our troubles finishing games with any energy, we managed to run out the game with a decent head of steam.

But then I saw Brad Norton's post-match interview, and I felt like crap all over again. I know it was straight after the game when we all felt like crap, and while he said all the right words, the agony and despair of the situation was there for all to see. It's not the kind of thing that will be cured by a nice cup of tea and a biscuit, only by wins.

If I sound like I have nothing new to add it's because there's nothing really new to say at the moment. You try and find the motivation to come out and type up gibberish to a diminishing audience about a diminishing team (on and off field) without realising that maybe there's something more worthwhile to do with your time. Oh look, I missed three episodes of Batman on to watch us cough up a lead. OK, time to write some stuff, but there's double episodes of season one Law & order SVU on free to air. What about now? No, the lawn bowls is on the telly.

The past six or seven weeks have been like waking up from a wonderful dream. OK, so winning NPL titles and riding the crest of a ridiculous FFA Cup run is a pretty lame dream to have, but it's still better than this descent into awfulness. I mean, from a South perspective, who was even at the game on Friday? Heathens and pagans, that's who. The devoutly religious and the culturally religious were at Orthodox Good Friday services, others probably went to the footy, leaving some very strange people to cheer on the Hellas in its hour of need. I'm not judging, it's just the way it is.

So there we are, maybe ten to fifteen of us behind the goal, twenty at a pinch, trying to lift the team even though in our heart of hearts we don't think we've got a chance in hell of overhauling the 3-1 deficit. We're watching the game from the worst spectator vantage points deliberately out of spite, or to be on camera. So why are we there? Sense of duty? To what, the team, the club, the players, each other? Sport does this strange thing where you end up befriending or at least hanging around a whole bunch of people you'd otherwise have nothing to do with, and who would vice versa have nothing to do with people like me.

But general despair at being crap in an irrelevant league is one thing, but having to endure some of the other nonsense which you'd thought by now should have gone away, is quite another. No one is surprised when Knights fans bring out the "I'd rather be an Abo than a Greek" chant. It makes its appearance at just about every so-called derby game between us, and will in all likelihood be brought out again in every future contest between us. It's offensive on several fronts, but it's also sad to hear it in terms of its time capsule quality; like, have we not arrived yet in 2018, and are still actually in 1988? Is there a time-portal at the gates of the Somers Street car park?

There are three groups who could put an end to that chant but which probably won't. They are Knights fans themselves, the Knights committee, and FFV. If the first two choose not to, then you would think that FFV would, if not for any moral or governance dimensions associated with the racist chant, then at least from a public perception point of view. After all, the chants were made right next to the broadcast tower, from which FFV were conducting a live radio broadcast of the game. Or maybe FFV don't care because neither myself nor Mark Boric were at home to listen to the game online, and there was therefore no one actually listening to the live stream, in which case it's carry on as you were and as you always have for those Knights fans; and a reiteration from me to South fans to avoid similar behaviour if not because it's the right thing to do, then because you just know for sure FFV will take a different view on the matter.

But that's "just words", and as a very helpful random anti-political correctness police officer on Twitter informed me and some others, we shouldn't be policing other people's language, in a discussion which ended up discussing the non-existent anywhere in the world abstraction of freedom of speech. It wasn't even an interesting attempt to police our attempts to police other people; the least our out-of-the-blue friend could've done is put on the persona of Libertarian Cop for our amusement.

Of greater concern however were incidents of intimidation directed towards some of our fans after the end of the game. OK, Somers Street has never had the reputation of being the most family friendly sporting venue in Australian soccer, and if we're being honest Knights fans have often revelled in that reputation. But there are limits, no? Stealing scarves from opposition fans? Really? Gloat about the win and how awful we are as much as you like. No one's expecting gracious winners, and goodness knows South fans are hardly gracious losers, but we're living in a society for crying out loud.

Oh, and there was also this

Just got barked at by a dude wearing a macedonian flag outside knights stadium whilst calling me a fucking dog. #nplvic

— Davey Raff (@dvrf1878) April 6, 2018

which is some straight out of NSL 1995 shit, that strange period where some Preston fans would tag along to Knights games against Greek teams for the sake of causing trouble, because their team was relegated and they wouldn't get to the play the Bergers or us on a regular basis until "insert the year each of those clubs got relegated to whatever division Preston was dwelling in". If your hardcore manifesto is being the Chester to MCF's Spike in order to push around scarfers, are you even doing this ultras thing right?

Next game
A home game at last! Bentleigh Greens on Sunday afternoon. The curtain raiser will be the men's under 20s game.

The first home game of the season is when nearly everyone pays for and picks up their memberships. I can't say with any certainty that it will be an orderly and well run experience. If it's not, please don't take it out on the volunteers. Ditto for the paid and volunteer staff whatever the situation is in the social club with food service.

I don't know what kind of merchandise will be available on the day. I'm only interested in getting a pompom beanie, but will not cry into my corn flakes the next morning if they don't have any. You have my permission though to cry into your breakfast cereal of choice if you are displeased with the range of merchandise on offer.

Variation on a theme
The club, in the form of our NPLW or WNPL side (I don't really know which acronym is the right one, but I assume it's the former) was back at Lakeside for a match for the first time during the season proper in 2018. The NPLW team's form has been erratic: some wins, some losses, lots of goals for and against, and a tendency to only get going once they fall behind. The lineups have tended towards the young side, as they tend to do in that part of the season closest to the end of the W-League season, but the starting eleven against Geelong Galaxy was as far as I can tell our strongest for the season. Galaxy, last year's losing grand finalist, had also been in less than stellar form. So even if this match was hardly a slam dunk for us, surely we'd be favourites to win? Not so.

After a tepid start from both sides, things started going bad when we copped the opening goal of the game from a set piece. I mean, what is even the point of living? To be fair, after copping the goal the team woke up, as I was promised they would, and they equalised, but the goal to get ahead never came and eventually giving Geelong chances on a silver platter cost us. Young gun Sofia Sakalis was brought on with about twenty minutes to go to try and salvage the game, but things just got worse for us. Needing to chase the game, we found ourselves opened up the back and instead of making inroads we copped a third and fourth goal, to give Geelong a deserved win.

On the topic of Sakalis, she's very good with the ball at her feet - though some of those who watch her more than I do say she could try and pass it a bit earlier - but wow, those offsides on Saturday. In my many years of watching soccer, I've seen players caught offside repeatedly in games, I've seen players whose speciality is being off instead of on, and I've seen players, usually strikers, too lazy to work back onside; but I've never seen anything quite like Sakalis' wilful offsides on Saturday, where she would keep running forward ahead of the ball instead of trying to work off the shoulder of a defender or at least be behind the ball waiting for a cut back.

It reminded of Greek school soccer matches on asphalt where the offside did not exist, or like a small child running forward with joyous abandon. And then you remember that Sofia is actually only 15 years old, knee-high to a grass hopper. I mean, she was born after I graduated high school. How many times have I failed and what exactly have I achieved in those 15 odd years to be criticising to a teenager playing soccer? The one possibly meaningful thing I could hope to achieve in this lifetime  hangs in interminable balance as I await the results of my thesis. The last time I played soccer was on the old Lakeside in the shit kicker curtain raiser to the Clarendon Corner vs OM21 where I was gassed out after five minutes

Really, it was no criticism at all; just an observation of a soccer novelty, a muffled and anguished scream from someone who lives vicariously through athletes in order to make up for everything else that's gone wrong in my life. People like me are not fit to tie the laces of those playing any sport even semi-competently.

More unpleasant news
Someone said to me the other day that our attempt to outsource the operation of the fustal court hasn't gone well, with the private operator walking away from management of the court. Here's hoping that one of the other purported offers leads to something.

Final thought
Got some text message from someone saying they were having "blog withdrawals", but probably because I recently bought a new phone - and you know how transferring your numbers from your old phone to your new phone is the one thing technological advances haven't been able to properly solve - well, I had no idea who it was that was writing to me. Of course I could've just asked them, but then I wouldn't have been able to get out this paragraph.

Dreams explode in a burst of cream and crust - Hume 2 South 0

Well, that's that then. An early goal in each half from them, and a fair bit of dithering around by us from most of the rest of the game. If, as Dr Phil says, that the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour, then the last several weeks pretty much showed how we were going to finish the season off. Winning the title from fifth would have been easier if we had stormed our way in, riding the crest of a wave. As it was, we limped in, out of form, and out of luck - the kind of luck that follows you like a hobo who wants a cigarette when you're playing well.

So what now? Well, on field there's several issues that will need to be dealt with. The keeping situation of course. The parts of the defence that allow those chances. The midfield that gives the ball away cheaply. The players paid to put away chances and yet don't. If this sounds like a plea for a mass cleanout, it's not. Because pretty much the same team also went 10 games undefeated, played some very good football and even scored some cracking goals. Mentally though something switched off at a certain point in the 2nd half of the year. We kept falling behind, kept botching rudimentary opportunities, and seemed at times to be utterly dazed and confused, and that included some of the decisions of the coaching staff.

Now regular readers will have deduced by now that I'm no scholar when it comes to the game. I have players and styles of play that I like more than others, but these aren't necessarily because they are the best, the most attractive or most effective. So I'm not going to really proffer my expertise here, because it would be pointless. I'm just a raconteur, a petty wordsmith with a little hobby and a little bit too much carefully engineered spare time. And besides, there are plenty of soccer professors out there who are far more capable than me of coming up with theories as to where it all went wrong, and more importantly, what needs to be done to get it all right. And even as I type these words to you, they are frothing at the mouth, dispensing their gifts of wisdom like Father Christmas on a commission based wage.

For the time being, I'm going to focus my interests on some of the big off field stuff. Like the Lakeside redevelopment, where the fuck are we going to play next year, constitutional reform, and doing an inventory of all the stuff the club has. Maybe get back to doing some kore historical stuff too. A few loose ends to tie up as well on here like hand out some awards no one cares about, and the women's team playing finals football for the first time in who knows how long. Catching up with people I haven't seen too much of for the past six months, and maybe going to see the odd band or film, or even read a book. And there's my Offset project too and figuring out what I'm going to do next year. But I digress.

So while one season finishes, and in a sputtering fashion at that, there is I believe, something to build on all round for the club. The racist, the solipsist, the professorial and those who can't see beyond yesterday might not be able to see it, but I reckon it's there.

Oprah's Favourite Things

This is what I love about smfcboard. If you bring up in the boredom of the off-season a still topical thread, ostensibly to clean up your incorrect Dr Katz reference from three years ago, you get a yellow card. Ok, so maybe it was like the 5th or 6th time that I'd done that, but here's what gets up my goat. I'll happily take the yellow card. It's not like there are that many actual rules on the forum, but common sense dictates that you probably shouldn't push your luck to much, no matter how awesome you are.

But of course, this being the parallel universe of smfcboard, common sense doesn't quite obey the same laws of forum warning physics as other more 'politically correct' places do. So if you feel like proclaiming that Hitler was correct in wanting to turn the Jews into soap, go for your life. You'll get nothing. Even better, follow it up with a comment about how the A-League is racist for not letting you in, red carpet, 20 point headstart and all the trimmings.

Even more disappointing was that in the relevant yellow card worthy thread, everyone missed my other Dr Katz reference.

Blame Canada! Blame Canada! They're not even a real country anyway.

Now I don't want to harp on it, but then again, when the shit hits the fan these days, and it's been four long years of being absent from the big stage, how much more can the NSL get blamed? For so long the proponents of the A-League and the new way of things have said that we are not the same, that there is no relation. And when the going gets good, and the crowds are big, and the sponsorships roll in, and the rivers are made of chocolate, it's all due to their good work and isn't lovely that we've moved on form the bad old days of the old NSL.

And yet, when violent acts occur in the stands in the A-League - and they have occurred with such an alarming frequency considering the 'main cause' was removed - then one has to wonder what perhaps is the real problem. And maybe, just maybe, it was never really an ethnic thing, because that's gone now. Perhaps it was just the usual and sadly most common reason for it all, a bunch of probably drunk, well 'ard thugs, who view getting into a bit of biff at the soccer - or the cricket - as part of the experience.

But that problem can't be dealt with until there is acknowledgment made that the common denominator is not ethnics tensions but mostly young men on the piss who don't object to violence. But if that acknowledgement is made, then as a consequence all sorts of other inferences will have to be made. That the pigeonholing of NSL-era violence more than a touch of a racist and xenophobic dimension to it. That the fist shaking of so many years was not at what is now edging closer to boys being boys, but rather at the horrible ethnics and their foreign game. But I don't see that happening in the near future, or even a distant one. The FFA and media will refer back to the bad old days, and the ones responsible for the argle barhgle and their looking the other way contemporaries will smile and say, at least it wasn't ethnic.

Recipe for a lazy autumn day - or how to get everyone else to do your work for you, and lift your sales a bit in these hard times for the print media

It's a lazy autumn day, the sun shining through the kitchen window heats up the whole room, and you really can't be bothered doing anything of importance. So here's a wonderfully self-indulgent recipe perfect for the occasion.

* Start off with about two months worth of off-season boredom. Adding more gives it a stronger flavour.

* Add 1 cup bored Sydney soccer journos gracing us Mexicans with their presence. Currently in season, so make the most of it.

* Combine with 1 cup of reactionary response from vested interest; disguise the taste of fear with essence of 'in the game's interest'. This product is now widely available in supermarkets and from the AFL.

* Add about 10 pages worth of assorted hysterical ramblings off the Victory forum. Bought separately, these come in racist, fascist, hypocrite, noob and other varieties, but I find that mixing them all together creates the best results, and you can buy them in mixed preparations now.

* Add 2 heaped tablespoons of 'South Melbourne Hellas dreams'.

* Mix it all together, and it's ready to digest. As an optional extra, serve with the comments from FourFourTwo's forums. A warning though, that first time users may feel a little nauseous and/or overwhelmed at first, while prolonged and frequent use can cause depression and boredom. This is strictly a sometimes treat!

'Seth' from 'Caulfield' - South of the Border makes an enemy of sorts

A little while ago, one may remember this blog plugging an online radio show called the Pumpkin Seed Eaters. South of the Border's review of their debut instalment was generally and cautiously positive, with a couple of suggestions, most notably to an unnecessary anti-Semitic remark. After making the hosts/producers aware of the review, I received an encouraging reply from one of the hosts (who go under pseudonyms, though I know who one of the hosts is), basically saying thanks for the feedback, that they realise there's room for improvement, and that South of the Border would get a mention on the next show. Seemingly having taken my review well and with the bonus of the blog getting a reciprocal plug, the experience seemed to go swimmingly.

Alas, no. No plug for the blog (which is not really important, because I do this mostly for the amusement of trusted friends and associates and whoever else happens to stumble upon here), but also no genuine remorse or acknowledgment of the poor taste of the relevant joke. My words, used as part of a segment on feedback received of the first episode were attributed to a Seth from Caulfield - get it? only a Jew would be pissed off at an anti-Semitic remark - thus continuing to tap into the already far too prevalent strains of anti-Semitism that exist amongst certain 'traditional' fans, evidenced most notably in the past few years with regards to attacks on FFA head honcho (and former Sydney Hakoah chief) Frank Lowy.

Now, I'm for free speech. Having that stance means that I have to tolerate (not accept) the fact that this means opinions will exist that I do not like and am not comfortable with. And it also requires the acknowledgment that freedom of speech (in its varying degrees) is one of the core strengths of Western society, in that in the plurality of voices that should ensue we will be in a better position to critically analyse our society. Or something like that. But as you might have guessed, I have a pretty massive problem when people start using that freedom of speech to racist and defamatory ends. That kind of thing serves no one well. Nevertheless they'll still have their place on the 'link hall of fame' on the right hand side of the blog, because their program comprises the voice of a very underrepresented segment of Australian soccer, and that this voice, irrespective of whether you agree or disagree with its content and style is one that should be heard.