Highway to Hell - South Melbourne 0 Green Gully 3

Someone at last Sunday's game compared the season so far to a car crash, which I thought was an incredibly morbid idea.

It's also an incredibly wrong one. After all, the car hasn't crashed yet. All that's happened is that someone's kicked the driver out of the car, taken his keys, and started careening down the freeway weaving in and out of traffic. Now it's starting to get wet, which means the tyres on the car haven't had time to adjust to the newfound slickness of the road. Oh, and as we're getting closer to winter, daylight is getting in shorter supply, and because we play home games which finish up close to dusk, visibility is becoming an issue. But we haven't decided yet to drive on the wrong side of the road and climbing over the median strip, and we're still some way (and a willing partner) short of initiating a drag race which will see us plunge off Dead Man's Curve into the ravine below culminating in our fiery deaths.

So, to say that this is a car crash of a season is wrong. It's a car crash waiting to happen, and we're doing our best to make it happen, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't enjoy the ride - wherever it ends up.

The reasonable question that has been asked is with Milos Lujic suspended and soon to go on holidays, and Leigh Minopoulos and Giordano Marafioti injured, where are the goals going to come from until such time as we can get a striker in during the transfer window? The same people ask - perhaps genuinely, perhaps mischievously - why doesn't the club just use the next available 20s striker? It's almost comically ironic that the player in question just happens to be the progeny of the director of which so much potentially libellous innuendo has been spread. Even funnier that on Sunday in the 20s game, that the player scored a couple of goals.

But as it was, we continued to rely on the three pronged attack of Oliver Minatel, Andy Brennan, and Matthew Millar. OK, we know Minatel isn't a forward, and we know that cruel as it may sound, everyone at the ground has given up on Millar scoring goals - though we'll be overjoyed for him and for the club if he does. But Brennan is a different prospect. For whatever reason, he hasn't been able to put it together this season. There's fitness issues to be sure. But clearly there's also mental stuff. How else to explain the four or so clear-cut, harder-to-miss-than-score chances that he wasted in the first half?

Rather than going in to half time a solid and very fair three goals up, we went into halftime at 0-0, and the signs and premonitions were ominous. We'd likely have a couple of good chances early in the second half, probably fail to take them, than concede some stupid goal which consign us to defeat. And that's exactly what happened. Those first half misses by Millar and Brennan kept Gully in the game, a game we weren't playing particularly well in, but which we were nevertheless doing better than our higher ranked opposition.

Having failed to take our chances, the eventual mistake came in the form of a careless penalty. Jake Marshall fouled his opponent in a part of the 18 yard box and in such a situation where it didn't seem like there would be much danger or need to tackle his opponent. But he did, Gully scored the penalty, and though we persisted in trying to get back into the game, the game was done. The second and third goals conceded were icing on the cake, one of them infuriating and demoralising in equal measure because the low cross to the unmarked player at the back post was so simple, and yet something that we ourselves have botched time and time again.

Of course it got worse than the final 3-0 scoreline. Brad Norton got a yellow card for being injured in a tackle by an opponent; well, I don't see what else it could've been for. Oh, and coach Sasa Kolman got himself sent into the stands for the second time this season. At least in that he's been able to match one of the feats of his predecessor, who was sent to the stands twice in 2016. Prior to his dismissal Kolman could be seen desperately trying to motivate our players, probably trying to remind them to pick up their energy levels and to "pass and move" as per what I saw at their Wednesday training session before the senior women's cup game.

The greatest proof of our hopelessness was a corner we received in the second half. First of all, it clearly wasn't a corner; the ball probably didn't even reach the byline. Then we took it short, which never works for us, but here it almost did, except that despite executing it as best as we have for a long time, it still didn't work. And thus we're in the early 2013 phase, where we're going to comfort ourselves with the Gus Tsolakis mantra of that era "that one of these weeks we're going to absolutely batter a team".

It was little comfort then, and less comfort now, but there's still a transfer window coming up, and time to turn things around. But that's just my view, that of the perennial optimist.

New things
Another week, and more novel things to distract us from whats happening on the field. First up, it looks like there's new people in the kitchen. I'm giving them time to get themselves in order, but I reckon avoid the spanakopita, which lacks any semblance of salt or saltiness, which is absolutely essential to a good spanakopita. Anyone doubting my credentials on these matters, I'm happy to relay them in excruciating detail at a game near you.

Strangely, one beer in the social not available on tap was Carlton Draught, but I'm sure that'll get rectified. There was also no ice cream truck, but there was a loukoumades truck, which sadly because it took so damn long to set up I was not able to make use of.

In the stand there were new people, which rather than something we as South fans will celebrate we will find a way to be suspicious of. Not without good reason, mind you. These were young guys, dressed in casual gear, Melbourne City supporters invited over by the remnants of the Enosi group. Described like that, is it any wonder people were having flashbacks to when the Victory affiliated kids hung around and then caused all sorts of shit?

I don't want to tar these guys with the same brush, and on Sunday they livened the atmosphere a bit - even their rendition of the "schizophrenia" mosh was too rigorous for security - without causing any problems. But their mates who've invited them should make sure to remind them of a few things. First, no flares. Second, to ditch the casual "clobber". Third, that Clarendon Corner is casual in only one sense, in that it is incredibly slack about chanting, banners, organisation, and sometimes even paying attention to the game.

So to the boys who joined us last week and may or may not choose to continue coming to South games, remember that the goal is to take the game seriously, but not take ourselves seriously. Or something. One of the Clarendon Corner's elder statesmen relayed to me his wife's thoughts on what CC is: basically the soccer equivalent of the Lost Dogs Home. In other words, a bunch of scruffy, sad, yappy individuals who aren't looking for any trouble.

Next game
Kingston away on Monday night.

Rescheduling of abandoned Heidelberg fixture
The round 9 match - which was abandoned due to Heidelberg player Harry Noon's corner flag induced injury - will be replayed in full on Sunday August 19th.

Taylor to Oakleigh, at last
After apparently helping out at Green Gully for a bit, Chris Taylor has ended up at Oakleigh as their new coach. Gus Tsolakis must be sick of losing his job to CT by now. Taylor's been joined by his assistant Chris Marshall, and the third part of that former South coaching contingent, goalkeeping coach Bojo Jevdevic.

These things happen. *shrugs shoulders*

But just like the last time Taylor got a job at Tsolakis' expense, there's rumours of movement at the station, this time at our fine establishment, with three or four of players apparently looking to move across to Oakleigh. Some people are also claiming that there could be some players heading the other way if this happens, which makes the upcoming transfer window even more important than it already was.

Still, if this happens, I'm looking forward to how all this is handled given that we have players under contract, and indeed went to great lengths to get all our players (or at the least those considered worthwhile) under contract before we ditched Taylor.

Anyway, back to Oakleigh for a minute. Given that our results this season have been much closer to ratshit than glorious, it's probably not worth taking the time to take the piss out of Oakleigh's current predicament. Besides which, they're two from two under Taylor, so compared to us they're flying. Still, when they post stuff like this:

The club has utmost faith that the new coaching staff will succeed in attaining results commensurate with the clubs history and expectations

— Oakleigh Cannons FC (@oakcannonsfc) April 27, 2018

Even a non-betting man like myself is thinking about putting a cheeky tenner on Oakleigh finishing as runner up, bridesmaid finishes being that club's speciality.

Scent of blood
The other week came the revelation that South Melbourne was one of a number A-League aspirants which had approached Wellington Phoenix to buy out the Phoenix's A-League licence. From our end, it seems that about a year ago the club had negotiated with Phoenix for purchasing a 25% stake, providing women's and youth teams, and playing some games in Melbourne. The two parties however failed to proceed further than those early discussions, and the matter came to an end.

Following that news however, there has been a renewal of interest in the current state of the Phoenix licence, and to a lesser degree South Melbourne's designs to acquire it. That renewal of general interest in Wellington's ultimate fate as an A-League location is tied to longer term issues: should there be an New Zealand team in Australian soccer? What will the A-League look like when its make up is finally "complete"? What will even be the structure of Australian soccer as a whole once the necessary FIFA reforms are applied?

For Wellington's part, none of this is being helped by delayed and then unconvincing denials by their owners that their licence is for sale. And even if one were to believe them, remember this: in August 2013, Melbourne Heart's then Director of Football, John Didulica, claimed on radio that Heart were not for sale; just a few months later, Melbourne Heart were bought out by the City group.

Another article in The Age on the Wellington matter this week noted that South was again seeking to talk to Phoenix about a deal. This was followed up by a piece on The World Game (ostensibly about Brisbane Strikers' interest in buying Phoenix), which included some information on the nature of the negotiations between ourselves and Phoenix. This includes the fact that Wellington originally approached South to try and offload 25% of its licence for $1.5 million, with board member and head of the South Melbourne for A-League bid team Bill Papastergiadis noting that:

"The enticement for us was to play the youth league and women’s league in Melbourne full-time with our colours, but still having some form of the Wellington brand."

More broadly however, there remains an infuriating vagueness about even elementary details of what a South Melbourne team in the A-League would look like. For example, while Papastergiadis said this in the The Age article:

"South Melbourne and our blue strip is our name, our history and our brand, and that's what we are going to be wherever we play."

It's not much different to what was said a couple of years ago when we kicked off this latest attempt at getting into the A-League. Still, when Papastergiadis says:

"we have not only past examples of record crowds but also recent evidence from our FFA semi-final against Sydney which rated 56,000 on Fox Football"

it's reassuring that Michael Lynch pushes back even just a bit on these kinds of claims by noting:

Whether fans tuned in to watch South or the A-League champions that night is a matter for debate

Of course in the grand scheme of things, it's still a far cry from the rigorous examination that every Australian soccer journalist should be applying to every A-League bid. But it's a start.

What we can say with some certainty as outside observers is that the market rate for the Phoenix licence seems to be $6 million, which is well below the over $10 million recently paid for the Adelaide United franchise by mystery overseas investors. Less certain is how any team seeking to buy out the Phoenix outright would get around the issue of the apparent geographical clauses in the Phoenix licence which ties that licence to New Zealand, though one can easily posit that that if FFA were amenable to it, that they could change the rules pretty easily.

Less certain, also, is whether Wellington's owners want to sell their team outright, or work on a finding a partnership solution. There's also no clarity on whether a team taking out the Wellington licence and transferring it to Australia would be guaranteed the Phoenix's share of the television rights; this is important, because talk is that the two expansion sides for A-League season 2019/20 will have to survive - at least in the short term - without such funding.

Further uncertainty was caused by Wellington Phoenix eventually issuing a passionate/ranting press release, more or less accusing a lot of people of lying, and of wanting to feed on the not-quite-yet existent Phoenix corpse. Which, to be fair, is their right to do so, I suppose, but I will say this: days of silence, followed by mealy-mouthed media mumblings, followed by backs-to-the-wall bravado a whole week after all this started, is hardly a clever PR game. Not that any of that matters, of course.

Winning and losing, in that order
Last Wednesday night the senior women strutted their stuff in the TeamApp Cup against Bulleen. They'd beaten Bulleen at Lakeside in the league the previous Saturday, and fielded a strong side in this one. Maybe too strong, as we'll soon see. There was also a members/dine with the players night, though I think only a handful of the saddest cases turned up for that; otherwise, the crowd was mostly made up of members of the junior girls teams, and their parents.

There were no corner flags on kickoff, but the game progressed anyway, and you kinda wondered why we bother with them. If we need to have a corner marker, might we better off switching to rugby league style short padded posts? Anyway, eventually some corner flags turned up, and no one thought about corner flags again for the rest of the evening, and hopefully ever again.

There was no Lisa De Vanna - she sat on the bench - but we didn't need her. We were the dominant team, and cruised to a 3-0 victory and into the next round against Greater Geelong Galaxy. Except that we didn't! We played an ineligble player - probably someone that was already cup tied - and had the result reversed. For a tournament that we didn't apparently care that much about, we sure when tout of oru way to do well and then completely botch it.

As disappointing as it was for all who were genuinely concerned by this shambles of bookkeeping practice, it was bizarre that some people who don't even care about women's soccer, nay, are just as likely to be actively hostile to women's soccer, saw this as an opportunity to feign indignation about the forfeit. Probably no accident that there's some crossover in that demographic of people who are caning the board for Chris Taylor's sacking when they spent the last few years wanting Taylor sacked.

More genuinely disappointing is the news that women's coach Socrates Nicolaides will be resigning from his post and heading back to the United States for family reasons. Soc was not only successful, but he also seemed to really care about the welfare of the players under his command, and seemed like one of the better people at the club. Oh well, an opportunity for someone else to carry on his good work.

Launch of Andrew Howe's Socceroos encyclopaedia 
Australian soccer statistician and historian Andrew Howe will soon be travelling around the country to launch his new Socceroos encyclopaedia. The venue for his Melbourne event? Our very own South Melbourne Hellas social club. The launch will be on Tuesday May 29th, from 5:30-7:00, and you can register here to attend.

Don't forget also that the PFA history conference is on Tuesday May 15th, also in the social club.

Around the grounds
Mucho delusions of grandeur
Last Saturday I ventured, alone, by car(!), to Scovell Reserve in Maidstone for Maidstone United vs Kensington City. Parts of the Liberal Party are debating bringing back corporal punishment for crimes; I reckon they could save themselves a lot of money and a lot of time battling civil rights lawyers in court by revising their plan and making them watch State League 5 - extra punishment is to stand behind the goals and focus on the goalkeeping. Three times from set pieces Maidstone dumped the ball into the six yard box, and the Kensington keeper just watched it get cleaned up by an opponent for a goal. Then there's the players who take the ball from their own teammates. Best of all was when the visitors had a free kick, and all of a sudden there was much frantic yelling of instructors from the bench and the few supporters present like they were audience members of a Spanish language Price is Right. Here's where it gets really stupid though: I was informed afterwards that some of the Kensington people thought I was a spy, because I was by myself and on my phone a lot. Now, in the unlikely event those boys are reading this post, I'm going to lay it out very clearly:

1. I was on my phone doing occasional Twitter updates, and keeping tabs on footy scores.
2. You're going to have to play much better than you do right now to be worth spying on.

Oh, Maidstone won the game 5-2, in a canter.

Final thought
Think of it this way: if Sasa Kolman's South Melbourne coaching stint ends badly, based on Oakleigh's recent coach hiring history, Kolman's still at worst a 50/50 chance of eventually getting the gig at Oakleigh.

FFA Cup, hooray, I guess - South Melbourne 6 Frankston Pines 1

In front of a crowd of about 400 (rounded up by our counter), we did the business against a plucky but outclassed Frankston Pines side. The upside of all this is we're into the semi finals of the Dockerty Cup as well as, I suppose more importantly for some, back on the national stage for the first time since the NSL (if one discounts last year's NPL national finals adventure).

The downside of that is that I'm not sure how much further we can go playing the way we're playing at the moment. Now even taking into account such things as only being able to beat the opposition put in front of you, some of our outs with players playing in unusual positions, and the fact that in some ways we're in a transition phase mid-season, we weren't very good. There were players that should have seen this game as an opportunity to really make their mark, but failed to do so - and I'm not counting the junk time last twenty minutes when Pines were more or less dead on their feet.

Conceding that late goal from a corner did no harm within the game, but showed once again that we've got a real problem in defending set pieces. And as one forum scribe noted, playing the way we did in the first 30 minutes against one of our league's better teams will do us no good at all. But climbing back from the ledge for a moment, we know this year's team can play better than they have been in the last couple of weeks, that they have the possibility of lifting a gear when needed, but I suppose the point is you'd rather not have to be in the position where you need to do that.

Anyway, the vibe was good at the game especially after we finally got the first couple of goals, with some good chanting, good humour, and with South fans clapping off Frankston Pines - though I'm not sure what 2-3 of the Enosi boys thought they were doing when they went over to try and taunt some of the women supporting Pines after we scored our first goal. Luckily someone sensible from Clarendon Corner sorted that out; we really don't need that kind of stupidity. Equally stupid were the people that used a back gate or far side gate to get into the ground - were they caught and evicted? I'm not sure. Neither am I sure if they were the same people as those who were later seen hanging about outside the fence on the Clarendon Street end with some sort of banner I think. Some people claimed they were Frankston/Victory fans, but who can tell for sure?

Next game
This Sunday at home against Werribee City, at the stupid, stupid, stupid time of 5:00PM. Why not 3:00PM? Are they worried that if we play when it's slightly more pleasant that it may mean 20 more people might turn up?

Dockerty Cup and FFA Cup news
As noted earlier, we're into the semi finals of the Dockerty Cup, but the draw for those games won't happen until next week's other quarter finals are completed. Oakleigh made it through last night, beating South Springvale 2-1. As for the FFA Cup, the draw for the round of 32 will be made on July 1st, once all 32 qualifiers become known.

Final thought
Yes, I'm aware that on field things could be going much, much worse!

The recession we had to have - Oakleigh Cannons 2 South Melbourne 0

Here are the things you missed if you didn't turn up to the under 20s game:

• A failed rabona attempt (even I missed that one)
• Me eating a $4 tiropita containing cheese that was still at a molten temperature.
• New signing Nick Morton not doing very much of note.
• A chance to see Oakleigh's new synthetic pitch in action.

Paul, come quick! Kouts quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!

During a meander around the outer of that pitch, the grandfather of a certain young man who has begun moonlighting during the A-League off-season as one of the organisers of Enosi 59, asked me if I knew the whereabouts of the relevant grandson. Now I answered truthfully, in the sense that I really didn't know the exact whereabouts of the grandson; but I also knew that they had planned on performing some kind of march to the ground and/or tutoring is guerilla warfare in Shelbyville Oakleigh. I don't know what shenanigans were had on the march, but the boys did manage to bring in a few new faces to Clarendon Corner. Overall for the numbers that were there, and taking into account chanting performances of previous years, this could have been better. Standing on the hill behind the goal we were attacking in the first half (and yes, in addition to the synthetic pitch, the seats in the stand and the terracing on the outer side, Jack Edwards now has a hill behind the goals), it didn't feel like there was as much noise and activity as there should have been. These things happen - new people take time to learn chants, hangers on prefer to hang on, and the team didn't manage to score a goal - and I make comment on this mostly because I was asked by two separate members of the young brigade during the evening about how I felt it all went - a fact which was both endearing in its sense of having some sort of respect allotted to my opinion, and frustrating because we were 2-0 down and I was more keen on focusing on the dramatic misfire that was our performance.

Oakleigh were clinical in spite of their more limited opportunities and possession. Both goals came from superb counter attacking play, and they could have had a couple of more goals from similar sequences of play. Even without the suspended Ben Clarke, and the injured Goran Zoric, Oakleigh looked the more likely to score from the chances created. Of course it's a tactic that has its own level of risk - had we gone ahead, the nature of the game may have changed - but it came off perfectly. Milos Lujic was tightly marked, and the other South players who had chances on goal never tested John Honos in the Oakleigh goal.

For the first time in many weeks, Andy Brennan was unable to have the decisive impact he has had in previous games. The Oakleigh left back was able to match him for speed and strength, and though Brennan did one have one good chance, he could only volley it high over the bar. Therefore with our two most productive attacking players in 2015 being tied up, it fell to other players to pick up the slack. New recruit Chris Irwin (who came on as a sub for Dane Milovanovic, who seemed to get a serious knee injury) was not poor, but he also seemed to find the stacked Oakleigh defence difficult to deal with, while also squandering an excellent first half chance

Disclaimer - the following paragraph is not influenced in any way by Nick Epifano's recent behaviour, and whether or not he should even be at the club. They are purely the usual misinformed opinions that I would give of any player who I considered to have a bit of a stinker.

That leaves Nick Epifano, who had a ton of possession in this game, but was unable to make any of it count. He got into a lot of good positions, but his crosses and shots almost always failed to make the most of his earlier hard work. Most frustrating was his decision making - he often took the lower percentage option, which was repeatedly his undoing. Most disheartening was that as the game went on, his passing game began to get lazy, which saw him hit through balls that had no hope whatsoever of achieving a positive outcome. I was surprised when Brennan was benched instead of Epifano, and that Leigh Minopoulos wasn't given a chance.

Just as disappointing was the outcome of the risky tactic of apparently deliberately trying to get yellow cards so as to gain suspensions for next week's match against North Geelong, but not for the Dockerty Cup match against Melbourne Knights the week after. To that end, Milos Lujic managed to do the business by getting a cheap a yellow card, his fifth of the season, though the manner in which he got it meant that he was unable to pressure defenders in a meaningful way for fear of picking up a second yellow and thus a red card.

Michael Eagar's attempt at getting himself rubbed out for a week failed in spectacular fashion. Late in the game, he is supposed to have retaliated in a such a way that instead of getting a yellow card and missing this week's game, he got a straight red, which could see him miss up to three games depending on the grading of the red card. There seems to be little hope he could avoid missing the Knights game. To rub salt into the wound, the four yellow cards that he has already earned this season will still be there on his return from suspension, and will see him miss another game this season at some point when he inevitably picks up another yellow card.

How much of a disaster this match was will only be known in the coming weeks. North Geelong may be bottom of the table, but without our leading scorer, the backbone of our defence, and the defensive midfield linchpin, we face a dangerous mid season period very much akin to that we faced at this point last season. With our defensive stocks running thin, expect Brad Norton to possibly fill in at centreback for Eagar, and perhaps Irwin to slot into left back. How desperate we are for defensive back up I don't know, especially considering our 2015 squad orientation - here's hoping that the suggestion that assistant coach Dimi Tsiaras pull on the boots again is just an example of gallows humour.

As seems to happen far more often than it should, a bad loss in a land far, far away was capped off by missing the (probably delayed) first train back to Flinders Street by mere seconds, and having the second one arrive late to Huntingdale and then be further delayed by vandals. I eventually made it home around 12:30 in the morning. The wait at Huntingdale was made more tolerable by the chat Gains and I had with one of the protective services officers working on the platform, who on recognising our South gear, asked after the current status of Richmond Soccer Club; the relevant PSO having in the past worked as a bricklayer for former long serving Richmond president Helmut Kalitzki.

Next week
Back home on a Friday night, this time against a North Geelong side fast running out of time to sort out its relegation problems.

Andy Bevin, pictured here playing for his US college team.

Transfer news
We've obviously snared Chris Irwin from Avondale Heights (and before that Box Hill United), another midfielder but also a former junior player. He's very quick, but I'm not sure where he'll slot in - I did notice him during the Melbourne Knights - Avondale game from earlier this season. Leaving are Bonel Obradovic, who is going back to Northcote, the side he played for before we got him from Oakleigh. 'Bones' struggled to win a starting spot in midfield, and while serviceable as a right back during Tim Mala's absences, he never made the role his own. Peter Gavalas has also been let go, though there is no news of a back up keeper being signed.

'Where is South Melbourne?' asked Ibrahim the Mad.
'South Melbourne yok', replied the admirals.

Now there was some scuttlebutt going around last week that we'd signed some American striker from the MLS. Some of our readers have also noted that on Thursday FFV's transfers page, one Andy Bevin was listed as an 'in' at South Melbourne, but that on Friday he was not there. Where did he go? Further to that, where did the entire South Melbourne FC section on that transfers page (see image on right) go on Sunday while I was typing this? Anyway, it's been more or less confirmed by everyone that the mystery American former MLS striker is indeed Andy Bevin, who is actually not an American, but rather a Kiwi, and one who played college soccer in the United States and was drafted by the Seattle Sounders. Don't think he ever got a game in the MLS, but here's hoping that if he has indeed been signed by South that bangs in the goals.

Living in a de facto relationship
Further to my desire for a more formal relationship between SMFC and SMWFC (ie, reunification), I had a chat with our president, Leo Athanasakis, who seemed to suggest that the relationship as it stood now - closer than it has been for many years - was working well for both parties, and that there was no need for any sudden moves.

The bloke who won $5,000 for South
So Peter Saisanas, who won $5,000 for South during a PS4 FIFA tournament against other NPL representatives - well done Peter, and well done to everyone who tweeted like crazy to get him that chance - went on to play in a tournament against A-League fans a few weeks back. Now while Peter didn't win that tournament, he did let me in on one tidbit from the experience. As there was no Wellington Phoenix representative in the tournament, the organisers tried to get Peter to wear a Phoenix jersey instead of a South top. Peter refused to do so, and for that I commend him, while still contemplating why the organisers even thought that he would relent.

What the fuck, am I dying or something?

We are losing two of our best writers (@JoeGorman_89 and @PaulMavroudis) because soccer does not know how to look after them or itself.

— Ian Syson (@IanSyson) May 23, 2015

The background to this is, I guess, recent discussions I've had with Ian Syson, some of which I have briefly touched upon in recent posts. I can't speak for whatever it is that Ian thinks is in Joe Gorman's future, because it's not really my place to air those thoughts on a public forum, especially as it would come likely across as a massive leg hump.

To set the record straight for myself - and without getting all obscenely sentimental - I'm not going anywhere. As long as South Melbourne Hellas exists, and as long as my health holds up, and as long as I have access to an internet connection or at least someone who I can dictate my thoughts to, I will write on Aussie soccer. Goodness knows that I haven't done this for the past seven and a half years for fame or fortune.

It was good to finally meet...
Savvas Tzionis, recent contributor and frequent leaver of comments.

Final thought
Apparently I treat the A-League less fairly than I would the quality of lettuce - and why wouldn't I?

Five moments - South Melbourne 5 Dandenong Thunder 0

First goal - You'll miss him when's gone
What was that I said in the previous post about our only reliable avenue to goal coming from the combination of Andy Brennan and Milos Lujic? Once again Brennan sped past his opponent out wide, crossed the ball into the middle, where Lujic eased the ball home for the early opener. It was a phenomenon that did not go unnoticed even by those who don't normally pay that much attention to the game 'Brennan to Lujic, ole, ole, ole' went the chant.

Second goal - Blink and you'll miss it
Another corner, this time midway during the first half, and the decision to play it short is vindicated. While almost everyone - crowd, opposition, seagulls - were going through the motions of waiting for the corner to be sent in deep, Brad Norton received the ball on the edge of the box and somehow managed to sneak his shot through the mess of legs that stood between himself and the goal - though the FFV match report has credited it to Ramazan Tavsancioglu as an own goal.

Third goal - If a goal is scored but no one sees it, does it still count?
Brennan found himself out wide again, sliced in a cross - there's no way it could have been a shot - which seemed to hit the side netting and fall in through a hole in the net. The referee didn't count it initially, and only Brennan was celebrating, but the ref nevertheless went to the linesman on that side of the ground, had a chat, then went over to check the net, and awarded the goal. After the match when I asked Brennan if it had gone in he said yes, and that he was wondering why no one had started cheering.

Fourth goal - It's not a complicated game
With the points secured, and another game to come on Saturday - which will make it three games in nine days - some players were given an early rest and others were brought on to clean up the scraps of a disappointing Dandenong Thunder side. And thus David Stirton, who has suffered from form and and injury concerns since arriving at South from Bentleigh, came off the bench and slotted home from a regulation through ball. He seemed pretty stoked with the goal, which was a nice touch.

Fifth goal - On love
As Leigh Minopoulos streamed forward late in the game, he found himself with a decision to make - to lay off the ball to the right, or to the left. To the right was Nick Epifano, to the left Iqi Jawadi, both former Dandenong Thunder players. What tension was left in this game was heightened significantly by the sight of this complex ethical dilemma being played out in real time. Minopoulos chose left, Jawadi scored and the entire side rushed around the little midfielder who doesn't get to score a lot of goals - all of course except for Epifano, who sullenly stayed apart from the celebration. Later he managed a brief moment of solidarity with the bloke he's reputedly closest to in the change rooms, but it looked sad, him not being able to show instinctive joy for his friend's accomplishment. It may have been Aristotle who said that you can't love something which does not have the capacity to love you in return - is it therefore possible that Epifano can't be loved for the simple reason that he does not have the capacity of giving love? As an alleged human being, and not an automaton or android, does this make him pitiable rather than hate worthy?

Next game
Saturday arvo at the erratic Northcote City, to round out the first half of the home and away season.

Crowd
Our crowd counter estimates that the crowd was made up of approximately 290 people.

The Kids Are Alright
Some of the Enosi 59 crew were back in attendance last night - on a school night, no less - and no, I don't believe the rumour that they spent the first half in a corporate box. Things seem to be gelling a little more between the new and the old, and I'm not only saying that because one of the kids was offering people some of his peanuts. The chanting, when people could be arsed, was back to its shambolic best, with references to Blue Thunder Kosta's terrible old man hat, the wooden spoon that took the place of an actual drumstick, and other chants directed at the authorities which visiting stadium enthusiast Les Street described as 'subversive'. I assume that he was referring to the 'we're gonna breakaway/fuck the FFA chant'; but perhaps more subversive and petulant was the moment when, after having being asked Kosta to cut out the swearing on request from President Leo Athanasakis, only for the request to be met with an even heartier rendition of a swearing related chant once Kosta left the vicinity.

Final thought
Spoon!

Internecine - South Melbourne 1 Pascoe Vale 0

Same as it ever was
This week was another interesting week at South Melbourne, even if it was still mostly a continuation of the post-NSL era phenomenon of the off field stuff being far more interesting than what happens on the field. What makes this slightly more tragic now is that despite the turmoil, the team is actually playing well (or at least well enough to still be undefeated) and therefore the gap between the on and field levels of interest shouldn't be this high. But here we are.

Come gather, 'round children...
Two themes largely dominated the discussion rounds this week. First was the banning of Cliff Hussey from the club indefinitely after his online run-in with Nick Epifano. Cliff thus began the transformation from marginal, shuffling, bad haircut freak show to, for some people at least, the people's hero - a change which could yet prove to be validated, and thus incredibly dangerous for those who've put their lot in with Epifano and Chris Taylor, the person who's most gone into bat for Epifano. Despite people pushing for him to turn up to last night's match in order to provoke some sort of protest action, Cliff did the sensible thing and stayed away, The pre-match rumour that Epifano was set to get a start or a bench position, despite his own indefinite ban from football, proved to be a false alarm.

The questions that keep you up at night
Is it true that Epifano is due to go overseas sometime during the season? If he has serious mental problems that he needs to sort out, shouldn't he be taking a break from football to sort them out, instead of always seemingly being near enough to getting a game, if not getting one? Who is responsible for anonymously posting the comment on here about his Facebook comment after the Bentleigh game? If we lose players mid-season, who can we find in the transfer window that's worthwhile, isn't cup tied, and won't break the player points tally? What happens if the latest arbitrary deadline set by Martin Foley for the resolution of the lease issue passes? Can we go on together with suspicious minds?

From donkey to thoroughbred in six weeks
The other issue was the rumour (from a usually reliable source) that Andy Brennan's trial at Newcastle Jets was such a success that he's signed a two year deal with that side, which seemed to be confirmed to me last night with a metaphorical nod and a wink by another insider. The reaction on the forum was terribly predictable, but as Dr Phil says, the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.

So there was the usual reactionary anger against the FFA. There were was more pragmatic argument about the structures that make this sort of thing inevitable, although with little acknowledgement of the fact that we've had very few players taken up to the A-League. There were even those who, out of a sense of defeat and/or genuine goodwill, wished Brennan well, and hoped that we could keep him for at least a while longer before he officially has to leave. Some people though were hinting at treason and betrayal; that Brennan and the club have hoodwinked the fans; that Brennan would not put in 100% now that he had an A-League gig; that we should have put our best player onto a professional contract.

Never mind that Brennan came from being an off the bench impact player, to starting against the Knights in part because of one goose's stupid antics and the other two strikers' inability to stick the landing - within six short weeks he went from potential glue stick to champion racehorse. The tragicomic call for our 'better' players to be put on professional contracts, and if possible for more than one season - aside from the costs that would be incurred for doing so - is exactly the opposite course of action to what people asked for when we did have players on long term contracts! Those players on longer term contracts eventually became an albatross around our collective neck, as they routinely underperformed or became injured. The call then was for bringing in a ton of a new players and a new coach to replace those at the club, and then bemoan the lack of stability, and on and on it goes,

The structural injustice we have to deal with means that there can be (and is) justifiable anger when something like this is due to occur - but the fact is that this structural injustice is sufficiently onorous that there's really no need to start frothing at the mouth and putting that foam on the cake and calling it whipped cream.

The whole thing smacks of effort

Some of Clarendon Corner's old guard look on, unamused and unimpressed.

There has been a steady influx of kids in the active areas at South of late. That's a good thing. That they are self-styling themselves as 'ultras' (with the current name of 'Enosi 59'), and trying to bring in A-League style chants and attitude, well, that isn't necessarily going over so well. Some of the older heads have latched onto the enthusiasm the new group has brought to affairs - I mean, how often is it that Clarendon Corner makes an effort against teams like Pascoe Vale? - but others aren't sold on this yet. The kids haven't done the hard yards, they haven't proven themselves over the journey. And where's the sense humour? The 'schizophrenia' chant doesn't count. It will be very interesting to see how this all plays out. Is it possible for a state league team to have two different chanting groups? The last time that was tried, when Gate 1 split off from CC, it didn't last very long.

In the midst of all this, a game of soccer broke out
As for the game itself, I wouldn't call it dire or lacklustre, just disappointing. I expected more from Pascoe Vale, but they mostly sat back and tried to hit us on the counter. For a team that has some serviceable attacking options, it looked liked they'd decided from the start they were going to sit back and take what few opportunities that may fall their way - a long way from the team that should have destroyed Port Melbourne in the first half earlier this season.

We weren't great, and too often it seemed like we resorted to long medium balls over the top and long range shots, but we got the job done again in a game that few got to see and fewer still will remember. When Milos Lujic scored what turned out to be the game's only goal - from one of those aforementioned balls over the top, with a little help from a deflection - it nevertheless seemed to have come from nowhere; and even though I admit I wasn't fully paying attention at that moment, and thus more likely to conceive of the situation as happening almost outside of the realm of the game's expected flow, the replay also seems to suggest that it was a goal out of almost nothing.

Heavy rain then swept across from the west, turning over the sponsor boards and sending the officials scuttling out to get the ball kids indoors, lest they catch a cold. Team manager Frank Piccione filled in for a bit until the weather calmed down, though he didn't exactly looked thrilled about it. Having once performed a similar role during an ill-fated cup game, I can sympathise.

The second half was better from us, even as the weather turned nasty. Lujic hit the post with a header, Dane Milovanovic cracked a powerful long range shot which at least looked spectacular, and a volleyed Brennan attempt almost managed goal of the season of the status, were it not for the visitor's keeper making the save. At the other end, apart from set pieces - and even there Pascoe Vale were generally poor - the most likely means of us conceding were the weather and our own complacency, neither of which made much impact on the game.

Crowd watch
My resident realist informant said 400, including the people in the souvlaki line. No propaganda number was provided. When they all bunched up together in the upper parts of the stand when the rain began, it looked like more from my side on position, but doesn't it always? I'm starting to come around to the idea that anything later than 8:00pm kickoff time for the senior game is just madness, especially when they start the game at 8:13 instead of the scheduled 8:15 anyway.

Next week
Port away on Friday night. Another little mini-South reunion: Shaun Kelly, Alan Kearney, Kamal Ibrahim, Trent Rixon. It's going to be fun.

The Great Tomato Sauce Shortage of 2015
Those who there will be telling their grandchildren about this. I mentioned in my round 1 report that the Water Rat burger was tasty, but completely undone by the lack of tomato sauce. Well last night I tried their chicken parma - which at $18 instead of $22 for South fans, is a sort of special deal I guess - and was greatly disappointed. A burger with fancy capsicum paste instead of tomato sauce? I can understand if not approve of that. A parma without any napoli sauce? As I struggled through my chicken schnitzel covered in burnt cheese, I decided that I'd stick to the happy hour beers, but from now on eat from the Valkanis canteen instead, even if it does take half an hour of waiting in line for a souv. And just to emphasise how bad this tomato sauce shortage crisis is  - even their bottle of tomato ketchup (really guys, ketchup?) on the outside table was just about empty.

Around the grounds
I love the smell of napalm oil refineries in the morning afternoon
Altona East vs North Sunshine Eagles out at Paisley Park. The first thing I notice is how many North Sunshine supporters are at the ground halfway through the reserves game - dead set, there are more people at the ground by 2:15 then there are for most Altona East senior games. The second thing I notice, after buying my souvlaki and hanging out next to the ticket shed, is that I can smell the refinery next door. Two weeks away from Altona North is all it took for me to lose my immunity to that odour. North Sunshine took a 1-0 lead into half time courtesy of a free header from a corner. East equalised early in the second half from a well worked move, but conceded again from another unmarked header, then left a man by himself at the back post to be 3-1 down. A late penalty to the hosts made it 3-2, but poor passing made a late equaliser unlikely. It didn't happen.

Final thought
'You need to unban Cliff/He's not as bad as Griff'