Showing posts with label Corio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Corio. Show all posts

Tuesday, 5 June 2018

Dire situation - South Melbourne 1 Bulleen Lions 2

Yes, it's true. I have done everything in my powers to push the writing of this post to whenever the latest possible moment was. I read a novel from start to finish for the first time since January. I went on ridiculously long bus trips with one of my brothers so that he could order some new glasses. I watched a hell of a lot of TV that even I'm embarrassed to admit that I watched - though I stopped short at the Denton interview of Gene Simmons. I even read the letters pages of Royal Auto, where people who like going on car trips to see lighthouses or complaining about less than stellar driving by their fellow motorists go because they haven't discovered the black hole of social media.

Spoilt as we have been these past few years with something approximating relative success, being now mired in something very much more akin to complete and utter suckage makes being a South fan less tolerable. The suddenness of that transformation adds to the misery. At least when we sucked in the years 2007 to (June/July) 2013, that sucking felt like a warm blanket: yes we sucked, but in the VPL years it became basically all we knew, and on some level you could justify turning up to watch mediocre season after mediocre season. After all, the club was probably going to cark it soon, so what did it matter if we won or lost?

But winning changed the feeling, made the real or imagined post-NSL death spiral of the club feel less real. But winning has gone, so here we are, back to the old feeling, but much worse. Lining up with what could be considered a makeshift midfield at best - no Schroen, Epifano, Jawadi, Brennan, Pavlou, and instead fielding newly signed and probably out of position Howard and Marafioti, and a busted up Minopoulos - expectations were low. Sure there was a returning after five weeks' suspension and before he leaves for Russia next week Milos Lujic, but that was probably just as much down to new striker signing Ndumba Makeche's international clearance not coming through as anything. Unless of course Makeche actually isn't very good, and we were going to start Milos regardless.

Of course none of that mattered in the slightest because we conceded a goal after seven seconds. SEVEN SECONDS! I can only remember seeing such a thing happen in the flesh once, and even then it was a state league two reserves game and there were mitigating circumstances of an absolute fool of a referee who made a big deal before kickoff about the colour of the long sleeves worn under the jerseys, and despite that there were still no real excuses for copping that goal. The blokes who copped that goal for us on Sunday are experienced, well-remunerated, and any number of other positive epithets you can choose to use. You can point to discord and disquiet, low morale, poor coaching, any number of things, but you should still never cop a goal within seven second of play.

At least wait thirty seconds! That implies that there may have been some neat passing, or a piece of stunning bad luck, or at least some semblance of someone trying to provide an obstacle to conceding the goal. The only obstacle to us conceding was a hopelessly stranded Jerrad Tyson in goals, and what he could seriously do when seeing that blue and white Red Sea open in front of him except hope for the absolute best while expecting the absolute worst?

After that, we put in some effort to try and get back that goal, but it was rather like the proverbial dirty, slimy, airborne pig. No amount of rationalisation could convince anyone that it was still any good. Brad Norton, the one man seemingly willing to front up and take any responsibility for what has been going on this year, did his best; but as for the rest, whether new signing or old hand, nothing clicked, nothing worked, and nothing looked like working. And when you're going through a dire run of form, all the things which work out when you're going well - opposition mistakes, referee decisions, a cleared ball landing in or at the edge of the box with one of yours ready to hit it home - all goes the window, making things even harder.

I mean, there were neat touches, and lots of crosses and corners, but rarely any of these things in consecutive order, and thus rarely a moment where there seemed to be any coherence in our path towards goal. Everything seems forced and predictable now. And then the ball gets turned over, and then the other side of problem comes out, players out of position, players being played out of position, and players making fundamental errors of skill and concentration. Sure we lasted more than seven seconds without conceding after halftime, but the goal we copped three minutes into the second half was little better than the one we copped in the first. If there was any doubt that we were going to get back in this game, it was extinguished then and there.

Late on we actually managed to score, Oliver Minatel bundling home what we hoped but did not dare believe could be the goal that would kick start a comeback, and it turns out that it didn't. This is not 2017 after all. Sure we pumped balls forward, but never really got close, just as we hadn't got close for the rest of the game. Now, critical as I have been of Minatel this season, I will give him this much credit - even though his four goals in 2018 have been the arsiest collection of goals in a South shirt since Kevin Nelson's half season with us in 2006, at least he's managed to get them! While everyone else fiddles while Rome burns or wallows in their own misery, Minatel has something to point to as a contribution. Call it clutching at straws if you like, but in a shipwreck situation you try and grab onto anything you can to stay afloat.

I can't even say Bulleen played that well. They looked like the bottom of the table team that they are, but they still created three or four genuine chances compared to our measly half chances of crosses met by no one or players off balance or caught easily by the Bulleen keeper. And I don't mean to sell Bulleen short, because they did the job they came to do, but even out of form the calibre of players we had out there shouldn't have let the situation deteriorate so much. But we are so much less the sum of our parts at the moment that anything resembling competence from our opponents makes things seem impossible from our end. Indeed, the last game we won, against Kingston, was as much due to Kingston's incompetence in the two goals they coughed up to us as it was due to anything we did ourselves.

Where improvement will come in the short term, let alone the rest of the season as a whole, is anyone's guess, but I don't think anyone's particularly optimistic. At some point Marcus Schroen will come back into the side, hopefully a fit Iqi. Maybe this Ndumba guy will show us that the Malaysian third division is a step up from the NPL? We're somehow still outside the relegation zone, but that won't last - indeed that could happen as early ads Saturday night if Northcote and Hume play out a draw. There's half a season's worth of games to go for us, but seemingly no one inside the club who knows how to "dig up, stupid".

Next game
Dandenong Thunder at home.

Mid-season ins and out
There are a lot of rumours flying around about who's in and who's out, and those rumours are getting increasingly extreme as befits our current crisis. Among the factual elements:

Ins
  • Luke Adams (miscellaneous frozen tundra) 
  • Giuseppe "Pep" Marafioti (Oakleigh)
  • George Howard (APIA, not the insurance company unless he has a day job there)
  • Ndumba Makeche (Malaysia)
Outs
  • Andy Brennan (Oakleigh)
  • Luke Pavlou (Oakleigh)
  • Keegan Coulter (dunno)
  • Ajdin Fetahagic (*shrugs shoulders*)
After that though... I don't know. There have been persistent rumours that night club proprietor and recently ousted Oakleigh Cannons co-coach Con Tangalakis will be coming in as an assistant or mentor or something for Sasa Kolman. That hasn't happened yet, it may not ever happen, or it could happen really subtly and one day he'll just happen to be there as if he was always there.

Not that it was any of our business, and it may not even become relevant regardless, but I always wondered how a co-coaching arrangement worked. I mean, co-captains is a stupid enough arrangement, but unless you're in a sport like cricket or rugby union where captains have some tangible responsibility aside from deciding which end to kick to, captaincy is probably a fairly overrated concept in sports; though I say this with no first-hand experience of having had to serve under a captain in any sport. But co-coaches? Who is ultimately responsible for success or failure? Typically, my mind goes to toward Andorra's dual-prince arrangement, though even there I assume that's mostly ceremonial in function.

As for the rest of the transfer window, I don't know if there are any other players lined up for entry or exit. A lot of that probably depends on the fate of the matter below.

A Gannon Television production, for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation
The whereabouts and fate of the People's Champ against Bulleen went largely unremarked upon, surprisingly. I suppose when you cop a goal within seven seconds of starting, trivial things like that seem to matter a lot less. Still, there are no official reports of what the ultimate fate is for Nick Epifano regarding his tenure at South. The overwhelming consensus of the rumour mill is that he is no longer at South, or that he is on his way out of the club. Somebody told me or I read somewhere that his name was taken down from his locker, but I have no idea if this is true or whether the players even have their names above their lockers.

While agreeing that he is out of the club, the various rumour mongers can't agree on just where he will or where he has ended up. Oakleigh to reunite with Chris Taylor? Avondale, whom he reputedly was set to join up with after the end of the 2017 season? Heidelberg, with his mate Andrew Cartanos? At the time of print, no one seemed to know for sure. Neither does anyone know whether these or any other potential destination clubs have room in their PPS caps - assuming anyone's still bothering to tally those up - or whether potential destination clubs even want him, seeing Epifano a disruptive and needy dressing room presence that they could do without, regardless of his talent.

And then of course you have those of our fans who view these things pragmatically and/or vindictively, who suggest that as an unwilling but nevertheless contracted player, the People's Champ should be made to play out the rest of the season in the under 20s especially if we can't get a decent transfer fee for him. I get the logic of that kind of sentiment, but... actually there is no but. Surely we should do what's in South's best interests here, right? It's coming across all very high school at the moment. Considering Epifano's inability to bust out a convincing highbrow pro-wrestling style face-turn, such a development in the storyline probably suits the low-rent Australian teen soap-opera the whole Epifano saga has actually resembled.

Andrew Howe's Socceroos Encyclopaedia
Last Tuesday, Andrew Howe's national tour to launch his Socceroos Encyclopaedia made its Melbourne stop, in our very own social club. It being a Tuesday (training) night and the proceedings getting underway at about 6:00PM perhaps made it difficult for people to attend; nevertheless to my mind the turnout was disappointing. At about 30 odd people, there was a distinct lack of South fans, general Australian soccer and Socceroos fans, and especially former Socceroos. Look, I get that it's a book launch, and not exactly the hottest ticket in town in Australian soccer circles, but when we complain that we don't get enough positive press and that we don't get enough of our stories told, and then we refuse to support those who are doing some of the heavy lifting - and in Howe's case, some of the heaviest lifting over a considerable period of time - then how surely we lose some credibility as a self-righteous and always indignant soccer culture.

Anyway, that little rant out of the way, let's turn our attention to the festivities at hand. Bonita Mersiadies, (the publisher of the book via her Fair Play press, a new player in the local soccer publishing scene) was overseas, so it fell to former South Melbourne Hellas board member and current AAFC spruiker Tom Kalas to introduce the book, who did a good job. Then it was time for the man of the moment to do his thing. Howe provided a shortened version of the presentation he gave at the PFA's history conference a couple of weeks before (and I will get to finishing that write up, I swear), discussing trends of migration and ethnic origins of the Socceroos, as well the national men's journeys across the world over the past 96 years.

Then several Socceroos in attendance - Heidelberg's Jim Tansey and Gary Cole, South Melbourne's
George Christopoulos, Jimmy Armstrong, Alan Davidson, Con Boutsianis, and Ted Smith -  recounted brief highlights and recollections of playing for Australia. This can be seen below in George Cotsanis' video of that portion of the event.



Afterwards, I appreciated those Socceroos present - later joined by a late arriving FFV president and former Socceroo Kimon Taliadoros - taking the time to sign the books for those fans who had made the effort to turn up for the launch. I'm not usually an autograph hunter or prone to fan boy antics (except for one particular example from many years ago, but that's another story), and usually the author's signature is more than enough. But I made sure to go around collecting all the signatures available. I also enjoyed the conversations had with some of the players, especially about Middle Park and trying to identify the characters in South's Team of the Century painting.

As for the book itself... it's a beast of a hardcover, retailing at around $70. I'm not a fan of hardcover books myself, but I've no regrets over my purchase. It's beautifully presented, plenty of colour photographs, and the kind of thing that should find its way into every public library and into the home. Along with the biographies of each Socceroo, the book also included statistical and demographic analysis, and special features on four World Cup captains, which don't shy away from the personal toll that role can take on a player.

A Matildas version is also in the works, set for publication next year, which will tell a very different but equally important story. If the quality of that production comes anywhere close to this book, it'll also be worth purchasing. One feels also that with the 100th anniversary of the first Australian national team game coming up in 2022, that there could be a bumper centenary edition coming up.

Comment moderation issue
I'm slower in approving comments on here lately because they're no longer being emailed to me for approval. That's a Google issue, which I hope is sorted out soon.

Around the grounds
Shiny swinging metallic balls
Sometimes if South is going really badly or has lost an important match, I don't have the heart to go to other matches. And sometimes South is going so badly, that going to another match, one I can watch as a neutral, is actually kind of pleasurable. I don't mind the cold when the sun disappears behind a cloud or some trees. I don't mind the dewy grass, or the bracing winds. I don't even mind the dire football likely to be on offer. I don't even have a formula for deciding whether to go or not when I'm in one of these moods. At best it's a Newton's cradle; sometimes the metallic misery balls swing one way, and then another. So, after doing the weekly supermarket trip on Saturday I decided to drive to Ardeer Reserve for Westgate vs Corio. I hadn't seen Westgate play since they moved back to the newly renovated Ardeer Reserve this season, after spending last year playing home games around the corner from my house. I hadn't seen Corio for three years.

I bought my cevapi roll, resisted the urge to buy a "Косово је Србија" wristband, and settled in to watch the game. I got chatting to the Whittlesea United assistant coach who was there to watch Westgate - they play them this week in a catch-up game - and learned that Tansel Baser is still kicking arse for Whittlesea at 40 years of age. Corio took the lead from the one indisputable moment of quality in the game; a brilliant through ball cut up the Westgate defence, and the poor touch of the Corio forward actually saw the ball slip out of reach while also making the home side's keeper collide with said forward, giving away a penalty. The penalty was saved, but the rebound tucked away, and thus we settled in for about 80 minutes of Corio sitting back, soaking up pressure, and Westgate not really having any idea how to break that down. Oh, they got close a couple of times from set pieces - and one disallowed goal had the locals in a frenzy, which then ended up in a bizarrely amicable discussion between the crowd and the officiating linesman on the outer side - but they could've played for another 90 minutes and still not have found the equaliser.

Still, I look forward to seeing Tansel in action there this week.

Final thought
The loukoumades people couldn't even organise to have crushed walnuts on hand. End times are nearer than even I'd imagined.

Sunday, 7 June 2015

One for the ages - South Melbourne 3 Melbourne Knights 1

The FFA Cup is a scam, little more than a tokenistic lottery based gesture to alleviate new dawn guilt. What's the long term worth of one good crowd for a game if the other 13 home games, for say a club like Bentleigh, get 50 people, and they bring no one to their 13 away games? Now the movers and shakers will point to the fact that over the past couple of seasons, that FFA Cup qualifying game last year was the one key time we failed to beat the Knights and that it cost us a ton in exposure and sponsorship, and that is the reason why they are movers and shakers and I am just a regular fan. My thoughts were more focused on the previous time we'd played, a come from behind win in the league, and before that where we snared the inaugural Community Shield with a come from behind win, and before that with a 4-3 win at home in the league last year, and prior to that cup loss, a 1-0 win at Somers Street with a super Lujic goal, and before all that of course a memorable finals smash and grab in enemy territory, and on and on it goes.

On the other hand, the Dockerty Cup is a 100 year plus competition, with the trophy being the end in and of itself, and not just some gimmick; devalued and thrust aside, for mine this is still where this fixture was historically situated, in the middle of a complex and evolving rivalry. There's a legacy here of epic encounters even in the years of our mutual exile and decline, as our clubs have tried different modes of trying to stabilise and rebuild. It's something that has not gone unnoticed even by those who have tossed us onto the hard rubbish heap on Australian soccer's nature strip.
West End   
Fantastic atmosphere at Lakeside last night. Hadn't been back at BJS for a considerable time. The first thing that struck me is that the South crowd was quite youthful. I was sitting in the main grandstand and next to me were a local (anglo) family from Albert Park who came to their first South game!! - AND all decked out in SM gear. Quite a few familiar faces from the NT as well - I'd say quite of few South\Victory fans and also quite a few neutrals. I have been critical in the past - however these are encouraging signs for the Club. The chants from the Clarendon Corner were quite witty - and didn't really feel (if I can say) "Greek". As for the Knights....still mostly stuck in the past. It really is chalk and cheese when comparing these two clubs. Given SM have a great chance to qualify for the FFA Cup next stage they should really capitalise on continuing to promote the Club to the Bayside community. When pitted against A-League opposition - this is a golden opportunity to show the FFA and public that they *can* be a broad-based Club and that their focus is purely on football and building great football culture. Build on their rich history. Well done SMFC for a great evening.
In more naive times for this blog, back in 2009, I posted thoughts on the different trajectories each club appeared to be taking, while being very careful (while also meaning it) to say each club had the right to choose its own way of doing things. In that sense, regardless of the somewhat odd commentary of South 'selling out' from all sorts of different angles, that idea of different trajectories is something which has cut through to the general observer, both within and outside of our clubs.
hellas7 
Whilst some will tell you south has sold out its own heritage, the reality is the greek community turned on the club first, at first it annoyed me but now I say good riddance, it's nice that we have a more diverse mix of fans now (by npl standards), walking along the grandstand and even seeing Asians with south scarves is awesome. The new young crew that have jumped on board this year have added plenty to the atmosphere of games and a much needed numbers boost...as far as I know they're all victory fans as well from your NT.  
In saying that I have no real issue with the knights being more "ethnic", if they wanna chant in Croatian and feel that's the type of support that works for them then good luck to them I say, being one of the few Cro clubs in Melbourne I guess that aspect of it is important, where as at south we no longer represent the greek community as a whole anymore and haven't for a very long time, knights are basically the equivalent of someone arriving from Croatia post world war 2, they're more "authentic" and fiercely proud, even the kids,they haven't changed and that gives them a community edge, where as south seems to have followed a natural generational shift as the years have passed, the reality is it's not about being greek and shoving that in everyone's face, it's about respecting the heritage and the people who started it all 50+ Years ago but also realising it's 2015 and that the club simply can't be what it was decades ago, not to please the FFA or chase some deluded A league dream, but simply because that era has passed, and the new generation trying to return to that era would be fake. 
Last night was a win for south melbourne, not for greeks or the greek community.
A fixture like this then, even if doesn't guarantee national exposure like last year's equivalent game because there's still one more round to go on that front, is a chance for each club to put forward its public face for the general public's consideration. And as much as South can be said to be persistently desperate for national attention, as part of its fading hopes for inclusion into the A-League - which now probably hinge mostly on former South goalkeeper Jack Reilly making a successful run for the soon to be vacant FFA chairman's position - the Knights also see the chance to unapologetically remind everyone of who they are and what exists underneath the gloss and the glam of the top tier. I'm not about to begin a lecture on the right way or wrong way of doing things. As I once said to a fellow bitter traveller.
There may not even be a right approach under this regime. Maybe all approaches are doomed from the outset,
But maybe in the end, it all boils down to this - some people love to be loved, and others love to be hated. The crowd of approximately 1500-2000 people saw a game both on and off the park which attested to at least that much.

As an aside
They tell me that Mark Viduka was in attendance, and while he was happy to have his photo taken with the kids in attendance, he also unfortunately missed out on a souv, probably because FFV media man Alen Delic had got there first.
You've got to, ahem, risk it for the, er, biscuit
The beginning of the game resembled bad rugby union, and since even good rugby union is more or less unwatchable, this was not a pleasing thing to see. Lots of balls hoofed long and out of play, and lots and lots of fouls. When the game settled down, Knights were the better side, playing a mid 1980s VFL style of soccer, running in numbers and hunting the ball in packs. That's not to say that we didn't have our own chances, but generally Knights had the better of it.

That they took the lead early in the second half was hardly unjust, even if it came from a corner, which we can no longer defend in 2015 for various reasons. What happened after that was a little odd. Having justly taken the lead, Knights then proceeded to more or less shut up shop with more than half an hour left. With 15 minutes to go, I can understand, but the game was there for the taking, and instead they retreated into time wastingAs the second half wore on, unlike several terrace pundits, I felt we had a goal in us somewhere, but that last ten minutes came out of nowhere. Giving up the initiative the way they did, when the game was being played on their terms, cost the Knights the game as much as anything.

Still, when Leigh Minopoulos passed to the offside Lujic instead of taking a shot himself, it would take something unusual to get us back on level terms. Thankfully that something unusual happened, as a Knights defender's clumsy attempt at a clearance struck his arm, and the referee callously blew his whistle for a penalty. It was the second dodgy penalty we'd received against Knights at Lakeside in 2015. Lujic made no mistake, and the ledger was squared. Still, I was nervous about the ending because even if we made it to extra time, our lack of defenders, benched in a sacrifice to make up the one goal deficit, would leave us vulnerable. But then 40 seconds later...

To get to Duff Gardens FFA Cup, I'd ride with Satan himself!
It just had to be Nick Epifano who would score the go ahead goal. What's more, his brilliant effort was a variation on something that Milos Lujic has been trying to pull off during his entire South stint.

Warning! The next bit contains silly theorising by someone who has never played the game. If that kind of thing offends you, please skip the following paragraph

In Lujic's case, it's seen the ball at his feet with his back to goal, cutting left (and therefore onto his right), and trying to curl the ball, now half to three quarters of a stride ahead of himself and three quarters to a stride ahead of his defender, into the far side of the goal, preferably off the inside of the post. Epifano's was of course much more of a midfielder's effort, and with little in the way of any sort of guile - as he was running towards goal, it was quite clear what he was going to try and do. The only obstacle in his way was his own poor finishing this season, something he has admitted himself he needs to work on.
Focusing on my finishing is one thing that I have been lacking recently so I’ve been trying to improve that as much as I can.
OK, it's safe to read stuff from here on
I celebrated the goal, because no matter what I think of Epifano and this whole messy saga two things tend to override everything else.
  1. It was a cracking goal, and more importantly
  2. The guy playing for the team in blue scored against the team playing in red and at that moment instinct takes over, and rational judgement gets thrown out the window.
Neither of those two things is anything to apologise for, so I won't. But it did highlight the ethical rift that exists among South fans on the matter. One bloke came up to me and asked 'so, do you still hate him?' to which the obvious answer is that a shit bloke can still be a good player who can score a great goal. And if Nick Epifano is going to be out there then he may as well make himself useful. As satisfying as the goal was, what was even better were the defensive efforts he pulled off on occasion during this match, which is the minimum anyone at this level wants to see, and that had he done more of that earlier in the season we wouldn't have ended up in this preposterous mess in the first place.

The game, now turned upside down, saw the now tired Knights desperately try to reverse the momentum they'd willingly conceded after taking the lead. It was all in vain, as Andy Brennan stormed forward on the counter and laid it off for Epifano to make it 3-1. That wasn't quite the end of the action, as Knights captain Tommy Uskok and South keeper Nikola Roganovic managed to get themselves sent off. Fraser Maclaren was subbed on for his debut at the expense of Brennan (we'll miss you, Andy!), making Maclaren the third father-son playing connection in South history, following Tsolakis and Salapasidis. Maclaren took the free kick, and the referee, having seen enough, blew time on the game a little earlier than he might have otherwise done.

Everything worked out / What a happy end! / Americans and Canadians are friends again
Hey, you're that guy that writes that thing!
It was good to meet Nick Vertsonis before the game, even if it's slightly disconcerting that this blog has reached such relative critical mass that I am being recognised in public because of it. In this case, it was a good thing.

Oh mainstream (and other) media coverage, how I've missed you
There was also MFootball's coverage, and this thing by Ari Harilaou, and even Michael Lynch was tweeting positive things vuia his personal as opposed to work based Twitter feed.
It's not newsprint or even digital newsprint, but at least he's engaged.

Next week
Dandenong Thunder away on Saturday night.

Around the grounds
Canadian Graffiti 
Apparently, when a frequent visitor to Melbourne has seen everything of value that our fair town has to offer, they go to Geelong; and once you've seen everything Geelong has to offer - so basically Moorabool Street and the wool museum - you go to a local soccer match, in order to be surrounded by people wearing Geelong footy merch. Since the train ride into Geelong is one of the dullest you can get, my main thrill was finally getting to see some graffiti in Geelong.
What kind of town is full of skate punks but has no graffiti? Anyway, we ended up at Hume Reserve in Bell Park, a large field with spartan spectator amenities, in time for the reserves fixture. Roy Hay, who was there during the first half of the seniors mostly to catch up with Perthite Chris Egan, noted that the field was in much better condition than during the years it suffered with a fungal infestation.
Getting there early also allowed for time make note of the town planning that went into creating this working class precinct - the ground is surrounded variously by a school, housing, industry and a bocce court - as well as have a look around at a particular aspect of the decline of ethnic soccer in Victoria.
Having had lunch in town - for the record, rather good pulled pork rolls - I wasn't in the mood for food from the Corio canteen, but knowing the Hungarian reputation for delicious cakes, I chanced my hand and asked if they had any, and ended up with a very nice piece of lemon slice.
I noted last week that Corio are struggling this season, and so it was in this game. Corio had enough of the ball, but looked clueless once they got it into their front thread. Suburbs for their part were more dangerous and efficient, and scored one in each half; well, at least that's my assumption, because...
The highlight of the match for Corio was when one of their players nutmegged his opponent right in front of the most boisterous section of the home support, who seemed to abide by the mantra that more booze equals more banter. As their slab of VB was whittled down to empty cans during the game, one could not help but agree with their manifesto, nor also help but agree with their collectively derived assertion that going to the gym is pointless if you're going to follow it up by eating ten Big Macs.

Final thought
Fuck you Blogger for deleting my my post when I was three quarters done.

Saturday, 30 May 2015

Cryptic - South Melbourne 7 North Geelong 1

On being mistaken for first a Xavier, then a Carey Old Boy
On the day of this match (but not at the match), after being introduced with some keenness to someone by someone else, I was told in no uncertain terms by one of those someones that teams like South Melbourne being pushed out of the top flight was the best thing that ever happened in Australian soccer, because teams like ours had held the game back. Meanwhile the person who said this... no, actually forget them. They're busy destroying Australian soccer in their own way.

Being South Melbourne Hellas' Veronica Guerin, without trying to trivialise the life and work of the real Veronica Guerin
Presidents, board members, former board members, friends of players, former players, people who don't like reading long pieces - at one point or another, all of these groups have voiced disapproval of this blog. Apart from providing me with sleepless nights while I nurse my fragile ego, these moments of disapproval have also broken the self-satisfied nihilist delusion which I hold so dear to my heart that no one actually reads this stuff. Despite the crowd at this fixture being a mere 350 according to my regular informant, the evidence from the hits received here nevertheless suggests that I should dispense with my delusions of failure.

JERRY: She wants to talk.
GEORGE: She doesn't want to talk, she needs to talk. 
JERRY: Nobody needs to talk.
GEORGE: Who would want to.
And thus I had been forewarned that some people, who I shall not name, have been unhappy with things that I have written in recent times, and one by one they came to me to discuss the matter. Happily, it was mostly done in good spirits except by one person who... never mind. While thinking of the whole situation, I was reminded of an interview former Mr Bungle and Faith No More guitarist Trey Spruance did, where he remarked of an absurd (in the existential sense) experience he had, 'it didn't make me bitter. I guess I was lucky because I’d read enough Kierkegaard to enjoy the irony', which is kind of how I felt (except for having read almost no Kierkegaard, except for that one time), including Spruance's finding the whole situation utterly hilarious.

Blatherskites
So the thing is I guess that I want... well, I suppose I want lots of things, while acknowledging that I don't need those things, and that having those things will not make me any happier. But what I want is for an Australian soccer version of AA Philips' 'relaxed erectness of carriage', even if that ethos is apparently 'manifestly bourgeois and masculinist'. Some people can't enjoy even the simple pleasures that life provides.

Facile pondering of how a group became a toponym, or how a toponym became a group, and how an individual moves in between those spaces
I am sometimes Clarendon Corner, but mostly Clarendon Corner is the location and whoever happens to be inhabiting it at any given time, I think.

The first half
While it would be wrong to say that North Geelong offered little resistance - despite being down 1-0 early, they still had some good chances to equalise against the sometimes makeshift and porous defending - once they went 2-0 down, everything seemed to just fall apart, as can often be the case. That first goal was farcical, as it seemed to just trickle through into the back of the net. Also Epifano was the scorer. That was also the only goal up until half time, before we had to endure the half time entertainment.

A: The art of representing three-dimensional objects on a two-dimensional surface so as to give the right impression of their height, width, depth, and position in relation to each other.
Q: What is perspective?
They had some hapless contestants kicking balls from the middle of the field towards a tyre located roughly on one of the penalty spots, Not providing the marshals with any sort of measuring equipment was a stroke of genius, as was having the ball kids moving the balls around. All of this reached its apex of hilarity when the illusion of perspective (even worse for the depth perception deficient) made it seem like one contestant's ball was clearly closer to the target than another. At least the crowd got involved.

Second half
Leigh Minopoulos scored a tap in, then Andy Brennan ball hogged his way to a goal, which lead to some amusing chants.

Wishful chants of "Newcastle is broke, Newcastle is brokkkke, Andy Brennan, Newcastle is broke!" hahah. #PS4NPLVIC
— Steven Chang (@Gixibyte) May 29, 2015

I think the bloke next to me, who'd had way too much bourbon before the game, missed that goal because he was too engrossed in Adam Goodes' brilliant heel turn. Andy Kecojevic, Chris Irwin and Minopoulos added more goals, before the visitors scored from a penalty. and then Iqi Jawadi restored the six goal lead. In amid all that, there was a brilliantly botched breakaway attempt, as Epifano refused to come back onside and Minopoulos was too desperate to be nice, and instead of just putting the damn thing in the back of the net decided to offload it to Epifano. For the most part people did what they had to do, but no one shone, because it was a classic case of downhill skiing.

The important things
Did Epifano make an obscene gesture to the crowd late in the game after he put in a poor cross, or was he merely gesturing towards Iqi Jawadi? If it was the former, who should get the credit for getting that response out of him? That there were wilful arguments about that last point says something important about this situation, though I'm not sure what. For whatever it's worth, I had my head turned when the gesture (whether malignant or benign) was made, and didn't see it.

Next week
Friday night Dockerty Cup match against Melbourne Knights.

Vale Nick Spanos
Long time volunteer Nick Spanos passed away this week, and with his passing so, too, goes another link to the club's earliest days, but also evidently a lovely human being. I think the most eloquent thing said about Mr Spanos was by George Koukoulas on smfcboard:
There are on field club legends and off field club legends.  
He was possibly one of the greatest off field legends that has ever served our club.  
Nick Spanos was there when SM United, Yarra Park and Hellenic amalgamated in 1959. 
He was such a lovely and gracious man that he had a calming influence on everyone that he came into contact with.  
He used to coach the club goalkeepers back in the day and never stopped volunteering and helping the club in any capacity he could.  
Post NSL, I remember he would turn up every Thursday and do whatever he could do to maintain the stadium and keep the club going.  
On match days, one of his tasks was to raise the club flags on the flag poles and he even did that with a sense of purpose and pride.  
He was such a wealth information and great story teller.  
The club has lost a historic figure that will always be a part of our club.  
People like him helped build and sustain our club with integrity, loyalty and hard work.  
May he rest in peace.
Transfer window summary part 1: South Melbourne
We ended the transfer window with the signing of Kingston City goalkeeper Fraser Maclaren, the son of 1991 championship goalkeeper Bruce Maclaren. Should Fraser Maclaren take the field for South, he'd become just the third (as far as I'm aware) father-son playing combination in the club's history, following Manoli and Peter Tsolakis, and Savvas and Kosta Salapasidis.

We also apparently took a stab at signing former captain Ramazan Tavsancioglu, and depending on who you believe out there, either told us politely that he felt obliged to help Dandenong Thunder avoid relegation, or told us to get fucked. Anyway, to sum up:

IN: Nick Morton (Melbourne City, NPL 1 West), Chris Irwin (Avondale FC), Andy Bevin (Napier City Rovers, New Zealand) and Fraser Maclaren (Kingston City, NPL 1 East), Lachlan Jackson (Brisbane Roar, A-League), Thomas Lakic (Melbourne Victory, NPL).

OUT: Peter Gavalas, Bonel Obradovic (Northcote City, NPL), Chris Cristaldo, Yiannis Avramidis (20s, Moreland City), Ryan Babare (20s, Springvale White Eagles), Peter Constantinou (20s, Brunswick City) and (eventually, probably) Andy Brennan (Newcastle Jets)

Transfer window summary part 2: Not South Melbourne
Transfer window summary part 2: Formerly South Melbourne
Borrowed Sepp Blatter commentary no. 1
Borrowed Sepp Blatter commentary no. 2
Did you know...
That when you use the #smfc hashtag on Twitter, you'll also come across stuff from Scotland's St Mirren? Maybe time to start a Twitter sister club relationship or something.

So, um...
How's that Nick Epifano vs Cliff Hussey investigation coming along?

Around the grounds
Footy!
Me, I was looking at my phone intermittently for footy scores. Some of the reserves after their match were checking footy scores as well as Supercoach updates. One of the officials came out during half time and asked us what the score in the footy was. The old bloke on the phone talking to a mate? He wasn't checking out footy scores - he was more interested in talking about racing. The game itself saw mid-table Altona East host bottom and winless Corio, who lined up with a keeper that got rejected as a reserves keeper during East's pre-season a couple of years back when they copped 7 or 8 from Melbourne Uni. Two goals in the second half were enough for East to win this one fairly comfortably.

Paul Mavroudis, Emerging Writer
As part of the 2015 Emerging Writers Festival, I will be part of the 'PWE Readings Extravaganza' (a free event) on Monday 1st June, at Thousand Pound Bend, 361 Little Lonsdale St, Melbourne. Basically, it's a program showcasing the work of about 20 current and former professional writing and editing students from across several tertiary institutions in Victoria, with each person getting about 3-4 minutes to read out a piece of work. I don't know what everyone else will be doing - hopefully not twenty dark and sombre mood pieces - but I'll be reading out a piece from my Shoot Farken Heavy Sleeper collection which looked at the most inconsequential game of the 2014 World Cup,

Final thought
How the hell is a dog meant to use a MadMex voucher?