Elbow at The Corner Hotel

Good show, but not a great one, though that had a fair bit to do with the venue (couldn't see much), and the fucksticks who insisted on talking through most of the songs (except naturally the new songs which they knew). Great banter and audience involvement though. Grounds For Divorce and Station Approach my highlights. Puncture Repair, Switching Off and The Stops not great song choices venue/scene/occasion. Bones Of You also good. Got a grey tour t-shirt, yes, with dates on the back. Got a lift home with a taxi driver who was eating churros that were over fried and were therefore crunchy. We talked about churros and how they're not meant to be crunchy. I feel like having some churros right about now.

Con Harismidis gold from 2004, as dug up by Southpole

Welcome To Melbourne Rush 

We welcome all who are here. Melbounre Rush Soccer Club is for all fan we want here. Only if you are from commuhnist party or from asia or africa or you are from our homeland of Rushia then you are here. 



Statment from supreme leader of APl Jono Neal. 
' I am happy to have Rush club in my league. In our multi culture political corect time it is great to see aclub that can cobine the turk way of violence and steeling with the communist way of hatred of other people. I left rugby and i am paid many million dollar for this. if you go you can go and if you do not go then do not go for I get all the money any way. i would like to finsih by laugh in the face of the Hellas fan and the Melbourne Croatia fan and the Sydeny Olympic fan and the Carlton SC fan and the Morwell gippsland falcon fan and the brunswick juve black and white horse fan a nd even Macoroni Italliano fan and Sydeny Croatia fan and all the fan of all club who made the sport in the country." 


The Melbourne Rush Club 

Welcome and thank you to our sponsor. 
Unino of miscellanueos Union of Australia 
Worker Union of miscelaneuoas worker of australia 
The ABC and SBS and we thank there unbias report of Palestinain and Lebanon. 
Crzay Joan phone sell. 
The people who have sale at Saint Kilder Town Hall and sell there rug and carpet for 95 persent off. 
The Asutralian communist parrty. 
Iran Air. 
Dandenong city council. 
Coburg shopkeeper group. 
Lakember tourist holiday travel agent. 
Village cinema new movie release called The Mosk, starring Jim Carrey. 
The premire of victoria and the mayor of melbourne. 
TVT, Tv Turko. Host Mr Al-Rosh Al-atdula. Chanel 13 every friday. 
Every single school teacher in the state of victoria. 


To sing the anthem of Turkey and Russia and China we have Paula Abdula. She sing anthem of our country and then will sing song of our club. The song for our club is called Rush Rush by Paula Abdula. 


Rule for attending the game of Melbourne Rush club for ASA APL. 

Number A. 
People who are from this country background will not attend. These country are Anglo background, Greek heritage, all 510 diffrent former Jugoslavia country except Bosnian Kosovon, all USA people, all democartic tradition people, all Christian poeple, all people from Country that won the world cup before, all Israel people, all fan who care for the sport, all polite people with real family value, all Scandinavia people, all Italiano people except follower of Mussolini or Ferrari, no Kurd too. There is exception if you can show membership of communist party or if you have a criminal record. If you do not have your criminal record with you we can accept for identificaton your rugby league membership or your passport from Pakistan or Turkey, 

Number B. 
You have to pay the club membership. You then have to buy the per game ticket from the ticketekmaster. After you do this please line up outside ground with your credit card to reserve your seat for the game. We then ask you present cash to go past the gate. 

Number C. 
There are only two type of ticket alocate for the game. The $55dollar ticket is for the grandstand seating. The other ticket is for general admition and is reasonbly priced for you at $55dollar. 

Number D. 
In general ticket puchase there are two option to have. These are chanting or nonchanting. Singing to support the team is not allowed. All chanting must be in Arabic or Swahili. 

Number E. 
We welcome all women and female to the club. You have all privlage of the normal member but there are some thing you must do. You may buy ticket for the game but please do not come to game. You must stay at home and wear a big sheet with two hole for your eye cut out and you must make our donkey and camle meal and then finish making mud brick for our house. 

Number F. 
As is tradition of aour people. If you are from Turkey, India, Syria, China, Lebanon, Niger, Tunisia, Iran, Sudden, Chad, Pakistan, Mexico, Luxemborg, Germany, Bolivia, France Bulgaria, Russia , Austrio-Hungry, Botswana or Vietnam you can buy Family Ticket. Family Ticket is for 2 adult, 58 children and as many other relative you can get in a on family reunion scam. 

Number H. 
It is not weather the club win or lose. It is how much money Club Rush can get before the league fold. Thios money will then be sent to a numbered secret acount in Istanbul. 



The Melbourne Rush club have many supporter group so yoiu can be with your friend. 

Rush Club Tram Driver club - Welcome our poeple who drive the tram. 
Sponsored by Pakistan Air 

Rush club Train Driver Club - Welcome our train driver and the two station attender they have. 
Sponsor by Air India 
(For unspoken reason these two club will sit at opposite end of stadium) 

Rush Club Student Club - Welcome all student union student who give up there time from protesting to go to the game. 

Rush Club Palestinain Peace Group Club - Curently no member. 

Rush Club Camel owner of victoria supporter group club - The animal not the tobaco. 

Rush Club Taxi Driver club - All member here recieve a free map of the city. Soap too. 

Rush Club North Cypriot Not in Europe Club - To join this group please invade oir sneek in. 

Rush Club Pretend refugee Club - Lie about where you from and be given free lawyer. Feel free to overstay your club time too. 

Rsuh Club antiHellas club - AFl cricket rugby people. Victorian government too. Some room left for former member of board at Hellas. Nearly all medai of tv asn newsaper of here are member of this club. Peter Desri is member nu,mber 2. Member of VSF management are given lifetime embership to this group. 




Please welcome the many valued people who make Rush club what it is. 

Owner/dictator/warlord. Crazey Joan. 

Stadium Announcer. Shake Abdul-Abduala-Abdula-al-Abdula-Abdula. 

Ground maintenencer. Mustapha and his son Fatima. 

Team coach. John Kosmina. 

Assitant coach. Burnd Stanker. 

Assistant coach. World Cup coach of Saudi Arabia. 

Television announcer crew. Lesbanon Murray and Anthony Mudine. Special comment by Mark Viduka. 

Fair unbiased refere crew. Micafel Lennie and shield. 



Offical Team colour. 

Home unifrom. Green. 
Away unifrom. Green. 
Home headwear. White towl with red srting. 
Away headwear. White towl with green string. 



MatchDay activities. 

At 5:30 in morning we will announce the team lineup by loud speaker. 

From then to 3 in afternoon you may line to buy your ticket. 

3:30 the game is on. 

5:30 you must go. 

6:00 to late we will complain spit and abuse people on our way back to the house or car we live in. 


Plenty for the member and fan to do at the stadium. 
We have picture of all Australia and USA and England president or Prime mInister and we offer the fan to hit he picture with there shoe. 
A selection of muli culture food for your enjoyment. Camel Pie. Camel Dog. Camel Roll. Even some Camelakia. Plenty of meat from the eye and the groin of the animal will be in these delcacy. 
If any of you want to do crime then please do them. SBS camera crew is waiting to make you look like the victim so do the crime and do the airtime. 
Activity for children too. They can learn how to throw the rock and how to make a flamethrower from normal hairspray can. 



Many game will have special guest and special theme day. 

Week 3. AFL fan is here to teach people to get good spit at other peopel. 

Week 5. Fenerbache fan is here to explain why you celebrate if you win UEFA cup which is for the team that are not good enough to play Champion League. 

Week 6. Multi culture rugby aFL cricket day. Please order your kilo of illegal substence 3 business day before. Player from AFl cricket and rugby will try to sign there name for autograph for the fan. Player will charge $100dollar for the autograph. 

Week 8. Illegal crime fundraising day. 

Week 9. UN day. Join the United Nation with Russia and France in there Oil for food bribe. Would you like Coffee Anan. Boutros Boutros Gali will travel from Wagga Wagga and eat Kous Kous with Mustafa Mustafa. 

Week 10. Leadrer of tyhe england EPL. Will explain how to make a league where all player are from Africa or france or iceland and no player is from home country of league. 

Week 11. Midnight Oil and Celine Dion concert. Hosted by Eddie Magure. Same as week 8 really. 

Week 14. Melbourne CXroatia trator day. Welcome Zoran and Vladislav but only if they be communist. 

Week 15. Hellas trator day. Nobody expected to attend. 

Week 17. APL will be bankruped day. VSF will allow player from Club Rush to transfer to Heidelberg. 



The Melbourne Rush SC Club have many opening for job opening. 
Please now we will only hire minority people who are related to us. Other may appliy but we will laugh in there face and throw there aplication in gargabe. Please no Greek or Anglo or Italiano or Estonier or Scotland or Latvian or people who behave and have moral and manner. Exception if you are bad person and from these place thouhg. 

Ticket Seller. Minimum 4 year experince at extortiion or previous AFL job. 
Food seller. Maximum wash hand 1 time per month. Previous job at Morwell ground is good to have. 
Security. Pentrige qualificaton needed of at least 2 guilty or 1 guilty and 1 plee bargain. is good if worked similar role at Bob Jane or Sunshine. 
Cleaner. Greek , Norwagian or English language must not be used. Club Rush will provide flag of those country for you to clean floor. 

The Meblourne Rush also want qualification and experience for the aplicant. If you have worked for Nazi party, Soccer Australia, Microsoft, AFL, Milosevic or OJ Simpson or Chowchesskoo or the Labor PArty then that is good for aplicant. If you are communist from Rushia then go to front of the line. If you are police wanted person from Asia then go ahead of the communist in line. 


Moscow Moscow see the Rush club everywhere 
play soccer in our underwear 
hahahahaha 
hay 
Moscow Moscow we are Turk and we dont care 
We take your land and do not share 
hahahahaha

Canberra Trip Part 2 - Canberra sights and sounds

It's before 7am when the announcement is quietly made. We're in Canberra. I'm wide awake, but that's no defense against the near freezing conditions that are present. It's worse for those who didn't plan on bringing enough warm clothing, or who happen to be coming down from the artificial warming effects of a night's alcohol consumption. A barbecue on the shores of Lake Burley Griffin sees people huddled under one of the park's gazebos, trying to find some sort of shelter from the cold. Sausages, bacon, bread, sauce, orange juice. Maybe it's my being a morning person with their senses fully intact, maybe it's memories of sausage sizzles at Melbourne Uni, but I restrict myself to a cup of juice. A small kick around in one of the sunny spots helps warm up a half dozen or so people, but care must be taken not kick the ball too hard or in between two people as the ball will find a way of running away. I don't suffer the fate of needing to chase, and that's a good thing.

Somewhat fed and a little less cold as Sol eventually gets to work, the group then proceeds towards Canberra International Airport, in the hopes of greeting the team who were due to arrive that morning. There is scoffing at the smallness of the facility, somehow not befitting that of a capital, though I'm about to learn that Canberra is a capital in the sense of an American state capital; somewhat in name only, akin to an Albany or Annapolis. We pass a very small group of Melbourne fans who've come up for their game against Sydney at Manuka, and families waiting for diplomats or whatever to turn up. The squad is just about to leave the departure area, and the fans chanting with the last vestiges of sleep still manage to turn a few heads, and mingle briefly with the players, who appear to either a little confused or completely at ease with the situation, though Sam Poutakidis is more than at ease. Supporting South is a state of mind perhaps now more than ever. Early morning airport sojourn dispensed with, it was time to see more of what the city had to offer.

For the benefit of international readers, Canberra has a reputation as a more liberal town, where the purchase of items such as fireworks and pornography is legal unlike in the rest of Australia. So off we went to one of the two districts which can legally sell porn, Fyshwick, which some of the more juvenile travellers had been looking forward to for awhile. Parking in front of one these infamous sex shops, it comes as little surprise to me, but perhaps more so to others, that it's juts like any other adult superstore type place that exists. More sterile than a hospital ward, which at least has plenty 0f signs of life, I wander the aisles trying to figure out what the fuss was all about. Is it perhaps the lack of stigma attached if you visit a sex store 500 kilometres from home? Isn't this stuff available on the Internet at comparatively next to no cost? Or am I lacking the connoisseurs eye? The highlight is the group photo outside the store, with one of the more creative minds inside the window display, wrapping a South scarf around one of the mannequins.

The next stop on the itinenary is a visit to Parliament House. Throughout our travels in the city, the lack of traffic is one of the things that stands out. Yes it's a small city, it's winter, and it's a Sunday, but there's still for me a slightly unnerving lack of people, of movement. After having taken the requisite group photos, some supporters had a six in six soccer match on Parliament's front lawn under the watch of the Australian Federal Police, while more highbrow fans decided to take a tour of the building. This is my time to duck out and see Eamonn so we can do my radio spot. After a quick scan of the periphery, I ask some AFP bystanders the way to the nearest taxi rank; somewhere within the underground carpark where the bus was parked. Walking for what seems a while in the massive underground space, I eventually find the payphone/waiting bay. I make the call and wait.

A white haired British Isle accented driver picks me up and we start chatting, but it's one of those forced conversations that you have with a driver so he doesn't think you're a serial killer. He parks in the driveway, and Eamonn's already there, and reimburses my fare. A good start. Inside the studio, I get the rundown, a quick practice run to make sure everything's recording, and then we're away. Going through the past, present and future, all in ten minutes, microphone slipping, Gary Hasler mentioned alongside Trimmers and Boutsi, but at the end of it, a good feeling, I didn't say anything stupid, and that my voice was made for radio anyway. Filled with a quiet sense of accomplishment, Eamonn drives me back to Parliament House, where people ask where I've been.

This was followed by a long lunch held at the Hellenic Club. Some people allegedly couldn't handle the long line - which really wasn't that long - and opted to go buy food from elsewhere. For what it's worth, the 'Mexican' chicken I had was quite nice, and we had a prime spot along the window, with plenty of natural light which wasn't as bountiful as in other places. Overall I found the decor and environment all a bit gauche to be honest. I suppose they had to include the 'Greekness' in somewhere, but it just didn't fit naturally for me. Supposed to have been on the bus by 2 O'clock, but we only at about about twenty minutes after that. Left us in a little bit of rush to get to the ground.