It's not what it used to be - Heidelberg United 2 South Melbourne 1

If I was still the younger me, things would be very different. OK, maybe only slightly different. This post certainly would have come out on Sunday evening, or Monday morning at the latest. But in what has become a common and tired refrain, that was then, and this is now. Back in (insert glory days of this blog) I was a career student making the most of ample leisure time and low responsibility. Now I'm scratching around temporary work scanning senate ballot papers alongside a resentful work-wife, waking up at 5:00am like every other alienated prole. 

At least I made it to the actual match this time, after missing two games a in a row before this one. Mind you, getting to away grounds via public transport continues to be a hell of an adventure. This time there were some sort of indecipherable (to me) alternative transport shenanigans on whatever the relevant train line is that I use to get to Olympic Village. This resulted in me ditching the train network around Dennis station, and catching some bus up to Southern Road and walking up to the old turnstile entrance, which I was informed during the week would be open for this game.

Miracle of miracles, it was. And there wasn't even a line, just one bored turnstile attendant, and one bored security guard. Even with delays, I got to the ground early enough to watch a good chunk of the second half of the under 21s with the very scant number of South fans that were at the ground at this stage. At least the line for the souvs wasn't very long, though for $15 I'd want my lamb a little less overcooked. I'd like to say it was nice to be back at Olympic Village after its renovation, but so much of the improvement is for players, that spectator amenities seem to have come a very distant second in consideration.

OK, so the running track is gone, and people on the western side of the ground can now be closer to the action. Problem is though, that it's been turned into the classic flat outer where a crowd any more than one deep is stuffed - and that's without the non-transparent benches. The hill underneath the shed on the western side has also been carved out, so if you don't want to stand on the fenceline, or behind the goals, or in the eastern stand and burning your retinas out facing the setting sun for a good couple of hours, you're basically being exiled to remaining hilly areas on the western side, basically in the corners. 

And then it gets cold, and dewy as the night falls. And it gets dark as the sun sets and the not fit for match days lights aren't turned on. And unless you time it yourself or use the Futbol24 app, you can't keep time because the scoreboard isn't in operation yet.

All of which complemented a pretty ordinary atmosphere, which saw a pretty ordinary South performance in a pretty ordinary game overall. Credit to the Bergers for the win - they deserved it, but even they'd think twice about putting this match on DVD and flogging it off for $25. They certainly looked fitter and more organised than they did in one round 1, and for whatever reason we chose not to press them up the pitch as we did in the season opener. In fact we seemed to sit off their midfielders throughout most of the match. What's more, we reverted to 2021 tactics in attack, bypassing our own midfield in favour of bombing it to Sawyer.

And as happened in 2021, bombing it to Sawyer meant Saywer getting mauled by the opposition defence. Marcus Schroen came on and kept spinning around in circles in search of an angle amenable to his left foot. After allegedly kidnapping diverting him at the airport on the eve of the season Eusebio style, Jai Ingham has remained largely disappointing. Oh, it all started well enough as he scored that corker against Bentleigh to win the game, and then we assumed he was building up to full fitness. But full fitness seems not to have arrived. Neither has full interest on his part, otherwise he'd be worth more than an average of a singular moment per game where he will do something significant or fail to do something significant with the opportunity on offer.  

Funnily enough, we could have been 2-0 down and/or 3-0 up in the first half. I'm still not quite sure how we scored from our worst attempt on goal in the first half, taking the lead, but by the end there was no argument: we sucked. Some are taking that 98 minutes of suckage as proof of much more suckage to come, almost desiring it, coveting its apparently imminent arrival like they were waiting for the rapture. Oh no, Oakleigh's going to catch up to us. Oh no, Oakleigh has caught up to us, after beating Knights in a midweek game I don't think anyone bothered to note the significance of. Oh no, Oakleigh will surely beat Eastern Lions and take top spot off us. Or at least draw.

But I get the point, even if its custard is over-egged somewhat. We have a good squad, which too often plays horrible looking football. Anyway, getting home meant taking the bus from Northland back into the city, which apart from a delay in setting off, was rather painless. Considered taking the 903 Smartbus all the way back from Northland to Sunshine, which would have been a good hour and a half trip.

Next game

Tomorrow night at home against Bentleigh. It's a very crowded schedule tomorrow - pretty much the entire comp has scheduled matches for tomorrow afternoon, evening, or night, which is a bit old fashioned. Let's just call it Super Saturday.

You know, I learned something this week

Yes, it's five subs you're allowed, but apparently you have to make them within a maximum of three windows. Should just go for full interchange.

Fickle me

Has the senior women's season turned a corner of some sort? I put on the stream of their game against Bulleen on at halftime, saw them concede early in the second half to fall 3-1 behind, and then I went to bed. The next day I see that the game finished in a 3-3 draw.

Final thought

Has anyone seen Oakleigh Harismidis lately? Feels like I haven't seen him for years. Heidelberg Harismidis meanwhile is still kicking on.

Brute Force - South Melbourne 4 Avondale 3

Home responsibilities meant that I missed this game in the flesh. It was the first time I'd missed two games in a row since... I don't even know when. Not happy about that, but not much to do be done about it.

There was an almost satisfactory alternative in the form of the live stream service, but there is no substitute for actually being there. So while the few hundred that were at the game will have a story to tell for years to come (assuming there are indeed years to come), most of what I can do is relay what it was like watching this game from home.

In a nutshell, a lot like the other times I've had to watch a game by myself at home. Not unemotional, not detached, but also not quite attached. The stream running on delay behind social media means that I couldn't watch it alongside say, Twitter. Having to go out to pick up my brother at a certain point meant that I had to let Dave (who was messaging me on Facebook) to pause with the interactions, because it'd just mean spoilers. But at least there's a pause option now, which I suppose we should be glad of.

Of course, what was there to spoil in the first half? That was a fairly ghastly opening 15 minutes or so, for reasons which I don't think anyone's really looked at in the wash after the eventual comeback. It's not like we didn't create our own comparatively inferior chances during that time, or during the first half as a whole, but each Avondale goal was concerning because of its repetitive nature. Each time we were picked apart with ease. They kept the ball, moved it around, moved us around, and eventually worked their way into a situation where they had people lining up for easy shots.

It was devastating to watch. The only assumptions one could make about what was likely to follow on from that start, was that we would lose 7-0 or win 4-3. I'll let the gambling community opine on what would have been a more likely outcome at 3-0. 

It's not like there weren't signs that we couldn't score a goal. But every time the ball went up the other end, it almost looked inevitable that Avondale would score. It should put paid to the idea that we're some of awesome defending machine, because we're not. Our opponents have often been stupid when playing against us, or profligate, or both. Thanks to the heroics of our goalkeeper, Avondale didn't score any more goals, and we managed to brute force our way back into the game.

And while this brute force lacks the more violent aspects, the process reminds me somewhat of Gully's teams under Ian Dobson. No one ever said of those sides that they played pretty football, but they managed to bully and force their way into winning positions through solid fundamentals. Set pieces, physicality - in our case that physicality manifesting itself pace, rather than strength - and creating contested situations. 

Avondale were all about avoiding contests. Ball possession, teamwork, short passes. When it works, it's glorious. When it doesn't, how do they reliably win the ball back, except by virtue of poor passing from their opponents? Which, to be fair, we were excessively guilty of in the first half.

The aesthetic ugliness of our style even extended to our goals. Two deflections, a penalty, and a power free kick as opposed to a curling/precision based one. If that sounds like a lot of whinging for the sake it, it kinda is. I want my team to score goals but also play something a bit more aesthetically pleasing than this style. But all goals count the same, and as the momentum shifted, one could not help but be drawn in to the spectacle.

Being at home meant that the spectacle also had to be shared with the commentary team. I'm not one who likes to criticise mostly young guys (and occasionally gals) doing commentary for very low pay, but if there was anything which reinforced my wishing I was at the game, it was the standard of commentary. Lots of yelling and screaming, lots of cliches, and an unbearable number of references to Ange Postecoglou. 

Look, I get it. Like us, these guys have just witnessed a miraculous comeback, and they feel like they need to put their stamp on it. But it was like listening to two Simon Pijacas, and it was unbearable. It's made watching the highlights near impossible for me, to the extent that I wish the club would release a a highlights clips with ambient crowd noise from the go-pro and sideline cameras.

And another thing, which is not just a problem with this game. Please, whoever's in charge, if it's going to be two people hosting, make it so it's one match caller, and one special comments person per game, as nature intended. Having two people trying to fight to get on air to do commentary is not working. I don't expect it to be like the days of NPL radio, where Teo Pellizzeri's match commentary was interspersed with analysis and conversation. But I do expect it adhere to successful soccer commentary templates. 

Anyway, there's Harry Sawyer at one end, Javier Diaz Lopez at the other, holding together two ends of whatever is in the middle. On Friday they put a dent in Avondale's 2022 minor premiership ambitions, as well in the Avengers' (snarf) hopes of winning the 2021 Bespoke title. I tried my best (sort of) to keep with that, but it's over to you guys to keep proper tabs on what's been dubbed by Mark Boric as the Bespoke Choke.

Next game

Bergers away on Sunday afternoon. A chance for all the people who love Sunday afternoon soccer to show up in big numbers.

Final thought

Congrats to the senior women for picking up their first win of the league season last weel.

I'm voting for apathy - Dandenong City 0 South Melbourne 1

Sincere apologies for another short and late post. I'd blame work, but work actually pays for things, whereas following South only tends to cost me. Better to learn this later rather than never, perhaps.

I didn't venture out to Endeavour Hills for this match, and I was so much the better for making that decision. Hiking out to the middle of nowhere, standing in the pouring rain, eating another chevapi roll. It's been done.

Instead I decided to go and visit an old South supporting friend who hasn't been able to go to games as of late. Watching the live stream with someone else sure as hell beats watching it by yourself. And no problems getting a gin and tonic.

Nevertheless, even in good company, a stream is not as good as the real thing. That's especially true when the stream doesn't even work. And waiting to see when or even if the stream will start, isn't all that fun. Cue a photo of said "stream will resume shortly" making its way to social media, only for the commentary to focus on the shocking state of my friend's cable management, with people thinking that it was my room and my TV and my cables!

Also, I didn't realise how much people cared for cable tidiness.  

Sitting on my mate's couch, waiting for something to happen on the TV, and then seeing that on the phone app, the stream and the match had started, and the just waiting for the TV stream to catch up the minute or so it was behind some version of reality. 

We got there in the end, though as the match went through its ebb and flow, you couldn't always tell who was the ladder leading team, and the team that very much nearer the other end of the table. Post-game people bitched and moaned about this, and I suppose I can't really get too crestfallen about that, because I've done it, too. 

But last week I was just, do you even remember where we were not that long ago? Farcical, flukey, or otherwise, it's still just nice that we're in a good place ladder wise, even if people think were not that hood, or the competition's even worse, or that it'll all fall apart sooner or later. That could just be more contrarianism from me though.

Yet, really, so what if Dandy City stuffed up several chances, and that we had to rely on former South championship player Shaun Timmins putting the ball in the back of his own net, or if some of our players were arguing among themselves post-match. Take the last as evidence that they care, if not about South, than at least about playing the game, which is something to latch onto in these apathetic times.

Next game

A 2021-2022 six pointer against Avondalet at Lakeside on Friday. Maybe with a sea of green and white, the likes of which we have not seen since the Bohemians visited in 2014, but probably not. Not even sure I'll be able to make it. Hope that I can, of course.

Final thought

I'd make an observation about some conditional changes recently made to the operation of the no. 12 tram when the footy's on, but I'm the only South fan on that tram most times, so forget it.

Forgot to add a title - South Melbourne 3 Port Melbourne 0

All gripes about poor crowds and cruddy scheduling seem to miss a crucial point - and that point is that South Melbourne Hellas has reached its nursing home stage. Our best years are behind us, the food is sometimes iffy, but most importantly, our nearest and dearest only come to visit sporadically. A handful of times a year is probably too much. A celebration (read: grand final) or Christmas (read: opening game), sure, that might get the relatives to come around and visit. 

Most of the time though, there's a million and one excuses about why people don't come anymore, all of which are an attempt to avoid saying the bleeding obvious - you're old, and no-one likes you. The club's children and grandchildren are basically ingrates who occasionally visit out of a latent sense of filial piety, and it doesn't really matter if it's Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, there's almost always something better to do.

Now having said that, and without actually doing anything resembling a count, there were about 100 more people there than I would have expected, even if this game was played on a Sunday. They got to see another ridiculous match in this ridiculous run. Sure, last year's opening 12 or so games were ridiculous, too - remember how we were somehow on top of the table despite genuinely not being very good? - but this year is something else.

2022 has so far been the season where we have been pretty good for about 15-30 minutes each game, pretty ordinary for the rest of it, and where that has somehow managed to be enough to be well clear on top of the league. This includes gradually losing players to various injuries, which now includes the aging Brad Norton, the perennially injured Josh Wallen, the apparently hurt himself why trying to do a scissor at training Andy Brennan, and our favourite utility Perry Lambropoulos. Also Marcus Schroen was out.

You'd think we were ripe for the picking, but Port did it its best to throw this game away in the first ten minutes, and just about succeeded. Harry Sawyer hit the post, then Port tried to Nuna its way out of defence and that was 1-0. 2-0 was two minutes later, when someone from the back line hit the best long diagonal pass they will ever achieve, and Alun Webb ran through the middle of the too high Port defence to score. At some point Max Mikkola threw a huge bomb to Sawyer, who only had to nod the ball down into the back of the net.

The next 60 odd minutes were then pretty much what we've come to expect. South had the lead, and we did our best to invite the opposition to eat into that lead, to no avail. Port had ample opportunity to score, but could not. Sometimes it deadset looked like we were letting them walk through to Javier Diaz Lopez. More of the same included Mikkola not finishing a game, and Jai Ingham not playing a complete either, this time coming on as a sub again.

Still, top of the league, so enjoy it. I am. Even the burger was more than tolerable this week, though they could ease off the ridiculous amount of chips provided. Which might also mean that they wouldn't run out of chips so fast, but goodness knows how they run out of chips anyway. Also, running out of gas for the drinks, also not a good look. 

Party like it's 1969

The best bit about the game - apart from nonsense chants - was that if you weren't at the game, then you missed all the good action. You see, despite having their cameras and commentary in place, someone at Football Victoria or Cluch scheduled the stream for Sunday instead of Saturday, meaning that viewers at home did not see the majority of the game, and certainly not the best part which was the first ten minutes. It was a bit old fashioned, really - even at the ground, you actually had to pay attention, because there was no NPL TV replay function either. Should have handed out complementary flat caps at the entrance.

Other things

You may or may not have seen the Knights vs Oakleigh game abandoned after 20 odd minutes because of unplayable conditions. I went to the Knights FB page to see people lining up into the "they should have/should not have played" debate, and instead could see only tons of posts by irate gamblers, and people trying to sell tickets to the eventual replay.

These people have made reading Facebook NPL comments sections impossible. No amount of moderation and deletions and key word and phrase shadow-banning can keep ahead of this scourge. Why would any normal human being want to engage meaningfully on these pages looking for discussion or information when it's full of this crap?

So our club, and I suppose a few other clubs, are in that nursing home stage, and the only people making an effort to talk with us are grifters and conmen. Fantastic. As Knights president Pave Jusup said, we should get rid of Facebook and go back to forums. At least you knew that the idiots who populated bulletin boards cared about the local scene enough to tailor their vitriol and trolling to local tastes and customs. 

The other thing which happened. Following on from last week's brief discussion about commentators not being up to speed with the rules around certain states of play, I asked the question on Twitter about whether at NPL commentary induction (if there was such a thing), whether there was actually anything about correctly identifying the way rules are actually applied, as opposed to how people think they are or should be applied. I only got the one response, in a private message, basically saying  "what induction, lol" and that, no, there was no coverage about how to deal with that aspect of a match.

So, maybe something for the comms team at Football Victoria to consider. Or not.

Next game

Dandenong City away on Saturday afternoon/evening. I doubt that I will be there, but I will hopefully be catching up with the fixture via a working stream.

Final thought

You see, my wife, she has been most vocal on the subject of the second division."Where is the second division? When are you going to get the second division? Why aren't you getting the second division now?" And so on.