Sunday, 27 September 2009

Cheap photocopies held together by staples

The other day I was looking through someone's book on the history of English match day programmes - Match Day: Official Football Programmes by Bob Stanley (of St Etienne and NME fame). I love that old retro, colour drained look, much as I love the look of old Pelicans/Penguins from the era.

Anyway, it got me thinking again about doing a South fanzine. It'd come out every home game - quite optimistic I know, but why not aim high? Hell why not aim even higher and go for every home and away game? Ok, maybe too high. And it'd have all sorts of regular and irregular segments, whatever we could come up with.

The 'we' is inevitably the problem though - it could just be me doing all the work, but it would become a drain - and I would rather have multiple voices and multiple talents. I am a pluralist after all. Whatever stupid gripe, drawing, anecdote, penchant, whatever - which of course, once again, was the point of this thing sort of, but this is also news and reportage and smfcboard exasperation safehouse.

In keeping with the retro feel there'd be a classic three column layout, colour cover, black and white for the rest, naff sponsors (we'd make them up if we had to) maybe some cartoons - in short, all the things I wanted this thing to be. Produce a maximum of 50 copies, photocopy most of it, staple it together, charge something minimal, ask for donations or nothing at all. It all depends on the printing costs of course.

As for a title? Names are the easy bit. Already knocked out a few with our friend Southpole. The title of course would be in italics, and preferably be not completely in joke related, and have room for an exclamation mark in there.

  • 25 Albert Road Drive
  • Singing by the Lake
  • Sack The Board!
  • Late Merchandise!
  • Sack The Fans!
  • Bill's Punjab Express!
  • Greeksta and the Cloneasaurus
  • Heaps Good!
  • Leaving early to watch Big Brother

Of course there were a few other unmentionable ones. For the record I liked Late Merchandise!, Sack The Board! and Bill's Punjab Express! the most. If - and it's a big if, of course - I was to get this going, it'd need a fair bit of prep work. Like this in the beginning, it'd need a backlog of articles and segments ready to go. And the support of my peers. And a willingness to stick it to the man. We'll see I guess.


  1. Possible titles? Hmmmm.

    "Eight lanes and a long-jump pit: A view from the terrace"

    "Bob Jane's Wife"

    "Close but no souvlaki"

    "A good place to die"

    "Eyesore: Grandstand Edition"

    Where do I pick up the 42" telly?

  2. "A good place to die"

    I think we have a new leader. I wish I had a tv to give ya, but there's not even a zine out yet.

  3. "When Hellas Freeze Over"

    "Till South Do Us Part"

    "South to the Future"

    "iHellas MCMLII"

  4. I'm for it Paul and also for helping you with articles.

  5. Ελλας Ολε ολε!!!!!

  6. Bring back "Inside Lakeside" featuring "The Mouth at South"!

  7. Im a fan of When Hellas Freeze Over

  8. "the mouth at south"...

    maybe columbo could contribute at that!

  9. In Sagan's name, what was I thinking I could even get close to starting something like this?

    I'm also disappointed to only now realise that the Big Fella's love of 'When Hellas Freezes Over' is probably at least in part due to his love of The Eagles.


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