Spoiled Brats - South Melbourne 1 Bentleigh Greens 0

Sitting in second place, and still complaining. Good. 

Finding new ways towards self-loathing for a team continuing to eke out wins, despite a few injuries. Also good.

Hearing news of an old foe copping eight goals, and being unable to take much joy from that either, because the style of play of your own team is utterly joyless. You better believe that's good.

The thing is, our style of play is what it is. You can raise the problem of injuries and outs, but would it really be that much different even with everyone back in? Not really. We cop stick from non-South people for complaining about winning, but they don't watch whatever this is, week in, week out. It's hard to watch and hard to cheer for. Wins feel more like getting something where we shouldn't have, which is OK once in a while; but make it routine, and it feels like a guy always winning the lottery. 

Since I stopped really trying to do anything of note with this blog, the already limited readership has tanked. I bring that up only to make this observation: that the things I say here really have such minimal impact nowadays. And I only bring that up as a preemptive defensive stance against any accusation that my misery guts point of view here has any sort of profound influence on others in the South Melbourne community. At best it seeps out, but it's easy enough to ignore.

What's a little harder to ignore is that others feel much the same way. They're not just wondering where the goals are - currently at just 1.2 per game despite our high ladder position. They're also wondering about where the Hellas mentality is? And where is the desire to create joy? Some people can wring joy merely from good results, and that's great. But what if you want something more? I suppose if the results are enough - and cup shambles aside, they've been good - why would you actually go to a South game? No one's going to South for the food. Some people might go for the social aspect. But for the football? That's debatable. 

Why not stay home, and flick across this and whatever other game is on NPL TV? Why not just check score updates on Futbol24? Why not just come across the result by accident while scrolling through social media? If the result is all that matters to such an extreme, there's no reason to watch the game. Just send the team out there, in front of no one (not as far-fetched a concept as you'd like it to be), and play the game out for the benefit of insomniac overseas gamblers.

I'm reminded, for the first time in many, many years, of the online football manager game Hattrick, which a few South people used to play. It was a random-number generated game if ever there was one. You'd set up your team lineup, conditional subs, tactics, and then the team would play twice a week in real-time matches. There was no action to watch - you'd get intermittent textual updates about important or interesting events during a game. Sometimes, a game might be so dull, that there'd be very little t report.

Then the game would finish, you'd train players, make limited business decisions, and do the whole thing all over again. The main point of the basic game was to set up your team in such a way that the random-number generator that ran the game engine would more likely favour you over your opponent. There were other goals you could set yourself - collect flags in international friendlies, develop players for the national team - but the basic game remained the same. Crunch the numbers, figure out what the percentages were, and go.

Since I suck at maths, and refused to do my homework, I was never very good at the game. But sometimes it was obvious what your only hope was. Sometimes you would clearly be the inferior side, and all you could do was set up your team for a smash and grab. So basically the most all-round defensive set-up your training regimen would allow, and hope that the random-number generator would make you a winner.

And on those rare occasions when it happened, it was marvelous. You'd try and expend the least amount of attacking effort to get the best possible result. Almost inevitably, such wins would contain a ton of luck, and your goal(s) would often come from what were called "special events". Back then Hattrick would allocate about ten chances in each game, which the two teams would fight over. Apart from that pool of about ten chances, each team had access to a limited number of "special event" goals - based on player specialties (speed, power, heading, technique).

During a live match, the match engine would fire up a text update. Maybe one of your "quick" players had burst through the offside trap. Or just as likely, your team took a corner... one of your players with the "head" specialty rose up, and connected with the ball... oh, what a save! But the ball is still live, and it's tucked away by one of the other players fulfilling the need for the text update to come up with some scorer! 1-0 to Juniper Hill, or whatever your team was called!

If it was the league you'd take the points and take pride in potentially ruining someone's promotion run, or if it was the cup, the extra money, and roll on to next week. You'd show some good grace for your win on the forum, while your opponent might take their frustration out on the same forums, slamming "too much random" being in the game.

Anyway, such were matches between the strong and the weak, and no really cared about style, because what could you read into a clutch of prepared text updates? But here we are in the real world, playing against an absolute no-name Bentleigh side - I knew just one player of theirs, goalkeeper Bon Scott -  who'd won one game all year. And they torched us, as much as a clearly battling side could do so. We gave them the ball, and territory, and let them come at us, as they intended to do.

Meanwhile it took about 12 minutes for us to get a meaningful touch in the opposition half. Thank goodness for set piece special events to get us out of jail, again. I counted about five minutes of play by us in the first half that showed initiative; others counted about seven. The second half was not much better. Marcus Schroen was a little wasteful, but that's about all you could say. We are fortunate in that our league opponents so far have been more than wasteful. Surely it can't last?

Next game
Anzac Day eve at home against Port Melbourne, kickoff at the non-overwhelming public interest time of 7:30pm.

Is there a curtain-raiser?
No. The women play tomorrow afternoon (Saturday) at McIvor Reserve in Yarraville.

AGM coming up
They tried to keep this very quiet. Goodness knows why, it's not like anything stupid is going to happen. Do they not want a quorum? Ah, memories. Anyway, mark down Wednesday April 26th in your calendar;  the SMH AGM is at 7pm, and the SMFC AGM is at 8pm. 

On the streams
A little bit more like it
Flicked across to Oakleigh vs Port for a bit. Not the best standard of game - and if you think we score a high proportion of goals from set pieces, Oakleigh's not far behind - but what stuck out was the intent from from teams to play, and play quickly. And play quickly didn't play panicky. It meant see an option, and go for it, don't let the defence get set. Pass and move. 

Final thought
This seems to come up every year now, if not twice a year. Sometimes it's our fault, more often than not it's theirs. Saturday was particularly farcical; at least at Kingston Heath we have the excuse of the painted grass fiasco from a few years back. But you'd think Bentleigh would be bursting at the seams to get some sort of mileage out of their away kit, whatever it is. Instead we had the farce of ourselves in a dark royal blue, and the visitors in a dark green that was even darker on the front, on a gloomy day. The cherry on top was the refs, who you think might have something to say about this, being in all black.

Look, if you're some two-bit club near the bottom of the pyramid, you can say that these things happen, and people would understand, albeit begrudgingly. But this is meant to be the de facto national second tier. Against better judgment, it's broadcast all over the internet. People bust their arses to make it look and feel presentable, and then Bentleigh just decide to make it look more amateurish than it really is. AT least the Lakeside lights are a bit more than passable, even if they don't all fire up. Bentleigh did the same to away to Oakleigh - who wear navy blue, and who's ground is not so well lit - earlier in the season, so clearly no one cares, and nothing is going to change.

At least we'll be out of this league soon enough, and hopefully joining something with a bit more professionalism, and a tad more aesthetic sense.

Monkey's Paw Curls - South Melbourne 3 Kingston City 4

Getting done over by a lower division team helmed by two former coaches of ours, while fielding several ex-South players was bad enough. But you know how they say "it's the hope that kills you?" I'm wondering where the hope is nowadays. We trudge on, bedraggled, now reduced to the forlorn hope of being rescued by getting into the National Second Division, and leaving the dregs of the last five and a bit seasons behind, regardless of how 2023 ends. A true restart, a new team, a new coach, and maybe a new (old) approach as distant from whatever this is supposed to be.

For the time being, no visiting team should show any fear or deference toward South Melbourne. In the past, poor or lesser teams might put in more effort to take our scalp. In recent times, some of the better teams in our own division have paid no mind to it being an away game, an overrated concept in this league anyway. Now we're at the stage when any opponent of ours - even a lower division one - is well advised to just play. Play with the ball, knock it about, take the game on, take the ball up the field. 

It will sound flippant, but in the game we played against Kingston during the pre-season in the Greek Cup, I noted of one of their goals that it had the style of how I would want a South team to score a goal. Sure, all goals count the same, but the usual ways - set pieces and scraps - will always be there. So why not add style to that, to create more avenues to goal?

Watching this game, it was difficult to tell that there was an entire division between the two sides. That can happen in a cup match - one team plays out of its skin, and gets the rub of the green when it counts. But there was almost no rub needed for Kingston. Their goal scoring chances - the ones they scored from and the ones they didn't - were almost all from quality build-up play, and a welcome fearlessness. 

And what's to fear from us? We started with our second choice keeper, even though we have the best keeper in the league. (though to be fair to Lejeune, not one of the four goals we conceded were down to him). Our vice-captain and key mid (Schroen), played just an hour, before being dragged. Our only striker (Riak) was also benched after an hour, with the game still very much in the balance. He was replaced at first by a winger (Brennan), and then by a defensive mid (Langlois). 

Despite all that, we still scored three goals. But the more important thing, at no point did this game feel safe. Worse, at no point do I think that any South fan felt with anything resembling confidence that we would take this out. It's not about doomsaying, or death-riding. It just felt like there was no point in hoping. We might have won, but it would have somehow felt hollow, unearned. The three goals we scored were all from our holy trinity - penalty, corner, long throw. It was the "monkey's paw curls" of goal hauls, emphasising only that we have little else.

Next game
Tomorrow afternoon (Saturday) against Bentleigh.

Is there a curtain raiser?
Yes. The senior women kick off at 1:00 PM, playing against Bayside United.

Final thought
Someone says to me after the game, "there's more to life than South". Thank goodness for that.

Everybody Knows - Hume City 0 South Melbourne 0

You know me, I don't like to complain. Things don't always go the way you planned. Case in point: I wanted to go to Saturday night's game, but events transpired so that I couldn't. So instead I sat on the couch and put the game on the television instead. How good is NPL TV? You don't get cold or wet, you don't have to give bad people money, you (or really, me) don't have to spend hours on public transport to get to games. And if you tune in early enough, you get to hear the commentators doing the sound check using such phrases as "big boy, big boy". Sure, sometimes there's a pole in the way, or the lighting is crap, or the cameraman gets bored and starts spacing out, but you get what you pay for, and usually it's watchable from a technical standpoint. And I'm sure all those kinds of idiosyncrasies will be absent from broadcasts of the National Second Division.

Anyway, it's been 30 years since an out-and-out ruckman won the Brownlow, and it's been 20 years since Jim Kourtis achieved the even rarer feat of winning Victorian soccer's Gold Medal for player of the year as a goalkeeper; but geez, I reckon Javi Lopez is going to give it a good shake in 2023. That's surely two games in a row where short of the refs ignoring what's right in front of them, that Javi's going to grab six votes. That's an endorsement of how well Javi's playing, but clearly not an endorsement of everything which leads to him being in that situation where he has to be a superstar week in, week out.

It's like this. Last week we had two shots on target against eleven. This week it was one shot on target against eleven, and I think that one shot was Ajak Riak having his shot deflected for a corner late in the first half. We then proceeded to play that corner short, for who knows what reason. Even taking into account my long-running hatred of short corners, it was an unfathomably cowardly sequence of play. It was very late in the first half. There was no chance that were Hume to gain possession, that they would be allowed by the ref to take the ball up the field. More than that, one of our only two shots on goals from the previous week - which went in! - was from a corner. It's like we're trying to fix the game, which makes me sound like one of our angry gambling friends who pollutes NPL social media. It's utterly baffling, unless you somehow come to the conclusion based on, I don't know, reams of evidence, that this is how our players are being told to play the game.

Speaking of that game, it was Javi Lopez keeping us in the contest, and let no one tell you anyone else out there for us did anything to lessen some of his burden. Remember that FFA Cup game against Melbourne City in 2021, where we were camped on our own 18 yard box for much of the game, and hanging on for dear life for most of the 90 minutes? Well, it was disappointing, disheartening even, but also you could sort of rationalise it. We were, realistically, a mediocre team from one of eight or nine second tiers, playing against the best team in the country, made up of full-time pros. Also COVID made things worse for us. And yet even in that game, we had a five or so minute patch where we managed to take it up the field, get a legitimate shot on target, and win a couple of corners. We made whatshisname make an actual save. Meanwhile an actual whatshisname, Rory Brian - a former South youth team keeper who's bounced around a few teams in this league - had nothing to do from an actual goalkeeping point of view, except take the occasional goal kick, and look a bit out of place as a mock-sweeper on a slippery field.

Result aside, last week's performance against Oakleigh could be judged as being not good. By comparison, Saturday's performance could only be described as pretty bad. We once again sat so, so deep; 2013 Southern Stars deep. We once again had no plan other than bombing it long, very long. Or playing it short across the backline, and then bombing it long. Poor Alun Webb being made to sprint up and down the wing like a dog chasing a tennis ball. Poor Danny Kim, watching the ball sail back and forth over his head. Poor Ajak Riak, expecting balls at his feet, and instead getting high balls sent to him while he's being double teamed, with no support; he got maybe one pass to his feet that I can remember, with his back to goal on the halfway line and an opponent on his hammer, and still managed to get a nice touch into George Tsitsinaris into space. 

And poor central mids who are effectively third and fourth centre-backs. Even having an overloaded defense is doing nothing to stop Javi being the main guy. Any opponent with enough patience to keep the ball and knock it around in a simple pass and move fashion, is able to pick us apart. We gift the opposition the ball, and we gift them territory. By all means, give them more of the ball if you think they're going to turn it over somewhere in midfield. But expecting effective counter-attacks from your own 18 yard box - or worse, six yard box - seems self-defeating at best. People keep taking the piss about Esteban Quintas' shouted refrain of "press, press", but where's the press? 

And yet we're second on the ladder. Shame on every other team below us for letting us get away with it. A pox on all your houses.

That game against Melbourne City, coincidentally, was Javi Lopez's first game for South, and through no fault of his own, he has been the team's most important player since, because he's ubiquitous. Arguably Pierce Clark was that guy before that. Lopez won the club's best and fairest award in 2022, in a season in which we finished top, and had a player score over 20 goals. So it's not like it's a secret. Everyone knows what we're about. If you happened to be watching this game at home, you would have noticed the commentary duo of Lachie Flannigan and Ed Gooden being very... careful in their observations. Maybe South Melbourne should try a different formation? Maybe send someone to help Ajak Riak? Danny Kim doesn't seem quite suited to what South's trying to do. Pat Langlois, normally a midfielder, was seen moonlighting as a right-back, yet is also the squad's leading scorer. Jake Marshall has the most block and clearances in the league. South's last three wins have all been by one goal to nil.

So, in short. I see it. You see it. Non-South people see it. But what's to be done about it? 

Next game
Kingston City at home on Tuesday in the Australia Cup. Kingston is currently near the top of NPL 2, has ex-South coaches Con Tangalakis and Gus Tsolakis as their co-coaches, and also has its share of ex-South players. What could possibly go wrong.

Is there a curtain raiser?
No.

Final thought
Forget for a moment nostalgia and the guff about "South DNA". You know what's really funny? For reasons of fealty to family (fair enough), clinging to relevance, and generating social media traffic, we are obliged to celebrate the ongoing success of Ange Postecoglou. That's fine, it is what it is, and I have no gripe with it. But even considering the particulars of his situation - managing the best funded team in a strictly two-horse league - we South fans on social media are constantly reminded of his coaching ethic, to entertain as well as get results. And while no one expects the same from our players or coaching staff, let alone for an equivalent kind of funding that Ange gets to be dumped into our senior men's team, we as remnant South fans can do little but cringe, as Ange gets to talk about his football ethic and where it came from - our club - while those of us still here have to watch highlight clips of our goalkeeper making saves, because there isn't anything else to show. We're a rump state off the field, and we're a rump state on it, defending what little territory we have left within our besieged walls.

Torn - Oakleigh Cannons 0 South Melbourne 1

Provided with two options, I decided against going to this match, preferring instead to watch it with a friend at their city apartment. A pleasant dinner on Clarendon Street, a nice stroll with only the hint of humming of the Formula 1 cars down the road (the roar of the V8s a different matter), and then a little bit of whiskey along with Altona Magic vs Thunder while we waited for our game to start. 

Here was hoping there wouldn't be the usual kinds of technical snafus when we've tried this before, but what do you know? A big error message saying "forbidden this", and "failed that", and seemingly no way to work around it. And then it started working, and everything was fine again. Well, almost.

One is naturally torn about such wins. In terms of the league season, it's always nice to pick up points. And to win at this ground, where apart from a couple of games against the Bergers, we haven't won against this mob at that place in ten years? I mean, yes, we did "win" here last year in the cup, but this was a tad more legit, in that it was one goal to nil. You know, an actual win, instead of winning nil-nil.

And after last year's grand final humiliation, I suppose we can restore a hint of self-belief about being able to get a result against Oakleigh, including missing several important (to us) players; Schroen, Djiba, Brennan, Norton, and Riak on the bench. And whatever happened to Jack Painter-Andrew Three of the subs being basically kids. In that respect, even with Oakleigh having played midweek, getting the win here was slightly more than nominally impressive. But there's also the other side of it, which is as follows.

Oakleigh had eleven shots on target to two, and eleven corners to one - the one being the passage of play we scored from. Stats of course don't tell the whole story. A shot on target can be a timid long ranger out of desperation, for example. But anyone who watched the game will know that the stats here do tell a story, and that's that this win was pure filth. A 1/10 chance that somehow came good. I don't know how Oakleigh didn't score, how their efforts kept ending up just wide or just high. Who knows how many goal line clearances. Even taking into account our being short-staffed, it was hard to take anything of value from it in the long run.

It was back to the very worst of the bad old days. It looked like we were a team in relegation trouble, not near the top. Kick and rush would have been a dream; kick and hope, something to aim for; a good chunk of last Saturday was pure kick and pray. Poor Danny Kim. Remember Fernando's ill-fated stint at New Zealand Knights, where he watched the ball sail back and forth over his head? Maybe Danny's a good player, maybe he isn't, but we're never going to find out playing like this. But we must be grateful for what we have, and acknowledge that things could be worse - we could be playing dire football and losing, instead of playing dire football and winning.

Next game
Away at Hume on Saturday.

Is there a curtain raiser this week?
Yes, but with a massive caveat - the under 21s curtain raiser kicks off at 3:30, meaning that it will finish over an hour before the scheduled start of main game. Hardly seems worth the bother popping in early.

Vale Jack Dardalis
I should have noted in the last post, but Jack Dardalis passed away last week. I never met Jack, but we all know the legacy - Marathon Foods, major sponsor, forever linked to the club through some of its headiest days, and some of Australian club soccer's greatest moments. What more iconic kit in our history than the solid royal blue Marathon Foods jerseys of the 1991 grand final and the years after that? Another elder statesman of the Greek community passes away, and another element of the past fades away with it.

On the streams
It could be better, it could be worse
Travelling into town on the train, I switched on NPL TV, and saw a snippet of Moreland getting smoked by Hume, and Knights about to have the same done to them by Avondale.

Final thought
Will I get a post up before the cup game on Tuesday?

I can't see through metal, Kent! St Albans 0 South Melbourne 1

I've been burnt by this increasingly frequent phenomenon before, but never quite like this. 

With all home duties sorted, I decided to head to Churchill Reserve early, get one of those sweet parking spots out the front, and catch a bit of the reserves match. Sure enough I got my nice parking spot right behind the "no standing" sign, but something was off... where were the gate attendants? Oh well, I walked through the unmanned gate, saw no action on the main pitch, and just assumed the ressies were playing on the second field.

I walked over to the second field, saw no familiar faces of the kind who also like to get to games early to watch a bit of the curtain raiser. Certainly there was a game on, and one team was identifiable as St Albans, but the other team was clearly not South Melbourne, but was instead one of the four (at least) Italian black and white horsey teams. And the kids looked just a touch too young to be under 21s. Well, that sucked. Still, what was one to do, drive off home and come back later? Better to stick around and watch what one social media interlocutor opined were the future of the state leagues; he didn't specify which state league exactly.

And I did get to see some entertaining stuff. Like a contested drop-ball! That was a pretty sweet moment, two young players attacking the ball firmly, but fairly. Even more entertaining was the visiting team (maybe) beating the offside trap, sending their man through on goal, only for him to trip over the ball, and scuff any attempt at a shot... but then also get fouled from behind in the box, earning his side a penalty, and the home team a red card. Up stepped a young man for the penalty, skying the ball over the crossbar like he was going for a two-point rugby conversion.

But then people I knew started trickling in eventually, and I'm not the biggest fan of junior football anyway, so off to the social club, and the finally the main game.

Let's be honest: we were never going to lose this game. I would even go as far to say that we were always going to win it. This is the exact time of year where St Albans start falling apart. Dinamo initially manages to surpass everyone's low expectations of them, their main ground looks good, the sun shines, and then... splat. No matter how well they start a Victorian top-flight season, the field soon turns to crap, and a good South or a rickety South turns up, and it doesn't seem to matter; this is the point where it all goes turns to dust for St Albans.

Apparently our lineup was a confusing mess. I didn't really care to check or pay too much attention to it. The first half was not good, but at least it went by quickly. The second half was better, and I just wish that we had scored at least one more goal, at least to make it a more sure thing. Dinamo flashed a few moments across the face of goal late, but they were never going to score, they were not going to get a single point out of this match. 

Really, all this messing about trying to find alternative accommodation during the grand prix and Women's World Cup, when we should just play at Churchill Reserve full time. The worse the ground is, the better we are on it. We should become co-tenants and dig up the main field a bit more. Max Mikkola did some nice things (throwing the ball straight at Dinamo's giant keeper not being one of them though), but what wins you games at this ground is pressing up against defenders with inadequate ball control. 

And this ground is so small, that even our penchant for sitting back still has us right up against the opposition in their own half. Even Marcus Schroen, not known for being a tackling machine midfielder, was able to dispossess an opponent, and begin the sequence of play for what was eventually the winning goal.

Also, it helps (sorta) if the opposition decides to handicap itself by getting what was apparently a pretty stupid red card during the first half for the fourth week in a row, much to the chagrin of overseas gamblers on social media. I say apparently for this week's incident, because where I was positioned, there was these giant metal benches in the way, and scaffolding, and light towers, and more benches, so I didn't see it live. I saw it on the video later, and my goodness, what a shit tackle and I don't know how the player can argue against it.

As for any more illuminating comments, the view from the outer side is so rubbish, and I somehow ended up in a discussion about fans invading the field for AFL players kicking their hundredth, and how old the crowd was for Megadeth at Knotfest, and all sorts of other malarkey, that I don't have much to offer. I'm just glad that Max's goal was at our end of the field right in front of us, not obscured by the detritus of generational piecemeal stadium construction.

Next game
Away at Oakleigh. That's this Saturday, if you're planning to go. No one's forcing you to attend. Rather conveniently, it's also on Saturday if you want to watch the game on NPL TV. 

New segment - is there a curtain raiser this week?
Yes. The under 21s play at 5:00pm

On the streams
I'm weak, I'm spineless, I'm a man of temptation... but what tempts me?
For whatever reason, I didn't end up watching anything last weekend. I've substituted having the footy on in the background instead of NPL TV, and it's good. But then midweek, and I'm reading people discussing some Australia Cup game with two teams I wouldn't cross the street to watch unless I was guaranteed they would lose, and even then... but also discussion about certain young Greeks - thankfully not affiliated with us, because which young Greek is even associated with us these days that isn't one of our ressies? - trying to stir up shenanigans, and my curiosity gets the better of me, albeit I leave it as late as I can before tuning in, about 15 minutes to go. And all I see, with the volume set to low, is a Chris Taylor side doing what it does best, grinding out a result when it has a lead. All of a bit of an anti-climax, which is good, right? 

Final thought
Behold the chilling re-enactment of an unnamed Sydney club trying to get its NSD application in on the last day.

Rubbish - South Melbourne 0 Heidelberg United 2

Nothing much more to say other then that the performance in the first half was absolute rubbish. Against probably the most mediocre Heidelberg team in a decade, we looked beyond inept. Without Ajak Riak, all we could muster was a series on pointless passing on our the line of our own six yard box, before booting it long up the field to Alun Webb or Max Mikkola. There was no midfield. We've seen this before at the worst times under Esteban Quintas; a giant "central midfield is lava" situation which all but begs the opposition to take up that space and press us to 2013 tanking Southern Stars levels. And who better to do that than Heidelberg under George Katsakis, who anachronistically still play with two up front?

The second half was better, in that at least we stated knocking the ball around, but the crossing and finishing were so poor, that it was far more likely that Heidelberg would score again before we would, and that's what happened. We had nearly 20 corners, two thirds of them in the second half, but without our two best corner takers, everything that came just floated harmlessly into the box. And the short corners? They were so numerous and so poor, that the usual suspects who are desperate for a short corner goal out of spite against me, didn't even bother getting excited about them.

The two best chances we had were the header that was cleared off the line (these things happen), and Alun Webb scuffing his one on one chance went put through clear on goal. Someone quipped on the forum hat he must've been in shock that a ball played was actually played at his feet, and that just might be the call of the year so far. Still, there were signs there abut how the team should play, which is lots of shorter passes, and always forward to the next person at the expense of going sideways. NPL defenses hate going backwards, they are almost uniformly terrible at it, so  why wouldn't that be the way to attack them, especially if you have ball playing mids at your disposal?

What's extra funny (apart from Esteban resorting to his old trick of a million halftime subs, like he was playing FIFA) is that other teams have started doing the long throw shtick as well. I mean, putting aside the fact that it worked at all, let alone to the extent that it did, surely it shouldn't be plan A, right? Anyway, all I can hope for is that last week was a blip, and not some sort of justified comeuppance for playing backfoot football and somehow coming out with maximum points most weeks.

Of more concern - and it's still early days, so let's not too get too emotionally wrought - is that it's hard to see just yet which of the new players has made us better. Sulemani looks a shadow of the attacking demon he was at Thunder. Painter-Andrews is in and out. Danny Kim is hardly there, and even if he started, would he fit our style? And while Riak has done good things, it's more of a sideways step so far than a forward, given that we still end up relying on guy up front, and the previous guy bagged twenty goals.

Next game
The annual grand prix enforced trek around the suburbs begins this Sunday, as we are away at St Albans.

Congratulations to Ajak Riak (also, we are doomed)
On one really obvious level, it's clearly fantastic for Ajak Riak to have made his international debut for South Sudan, playing most of the match in a 2-1 win against Republic of the Congo in African Cup of Nations qualifying. In what's a rare occurrence these days, Riak is probably the first South player since Luke Adams (who played for the All Whites in 2016) to play national team football while in the service of our club. 

But prestige aside, it means one of our more valuable players is possibly going to be missing at several key points of the season. South Sudan play against Republic of the Congo again on Monday, and then has two more qualifying matches during international fixture breaks in June and September. I suppose the only thing we can say is that we're not the only NPL Victoria team with this problem - two of Riak's South Sudan teammates are NPL Victoria players at other clubs.

Fixture news
First, our upcoming league fixture away against Oakleigh has been moved from the Friday to the Saturday, and the kickoff time from 8:30 to 7:30 PM. Good news for everyone who wants to go to the real Greek derby on March 31st, that of course being Collingwood vs Richmond at the MCG.

Second, our Australia Cup match against Kingston City has been locked in for April 11th, a Tuesday, at Lakeside. Here's hoping the result gets sorted in regular time, because with kickoff scheduled for 8:15 PM, we might not get home until morning.

Finally, the round 9 league game against Bentleigh, originally scheduled for April 14th - which is Orthodox Good Friday - has been moved to the afternoon of April 15th. Quite how the original date made it past those running the show has got me stuffed. 

AGM news
I have been told that the financial reports are done, and that we'll be having an AGM as soon as possible once we get access to Lakeside again after the grand prix.

Women
Yes, there were some schedule conflicts on the South of the Border home front, but also something went awry with my attempts to stream the senior women's first game of the season. I'm going to say it was probably 83% my fault, and the remainder someone else's. What I did see wasn't particularly edifying, in that it was a lot a rushed long balls up front, with occasional inadequate finishing. Hopefully it was just rust.

On the streams
South lost, the footy's back, and the Osaka sumo basho is on the internet thanks to dodgy streamers, so who's watching other teams?

Final thought
As South fans, we have the right to expect to be entertained by our team. One could go further; that except in exceptional circumstances, the team should be obligated to attempt to entertain us. Even accounting for the effects of nostalgia and being in this league, this is one of the things which made our club great: it was predominantly a ball playing club, with its best teams being not just effective, but life affirming. 

Flag - Dandenong Thunder 0 South Melbourne 1

I alternate between despising how this team plays and yet still manages to grind out wins, and admiring with significant reservation how this team grinds out wins even when it doesn't play particularly well. Last Saturday was more of the latter. First half OK, second half, or at least the first thirty minutes of it, ugly. We're going to run into a team that can shoot at some point this season, and it's not going to be pretty. Until that point though, we'll make do with being the luckiest team in the world, even if you subscribe to the idea that you make at least some of your own luck.

Sight lines at Dandy are pretty ordinary unless you're in the stand, and even there are poles a plenty to get in the way; when it's not being the National Penalties League this is the National Poles in the way League. First half regular spot and regular view behind the freeway end goal. Real close up view of no one tracking Pat Langlois into the box again, and thus he has three goals in four games. Much further away from the action, and generally stymied for a second match in a row, Ajak Riak plays his part in the goal, too, something really only verifiable from our angle by watching it on the replay later.

A shortish week, and South loses players to the attrition of the early season. Lirim Elmazi off injured early, hopefully precautionary. Max Mikkola off later, hoping for the same. Elmazi, not the most skilled with the ball, is still pretty good without it, and without him, we begin losing shape. Mikkola, not the best without the ball, but almost certainly our best with it, and without him composure and implied attacking threat vanish.

But it was hard to tell how bad it really was in the second half, because at the social club end of the ground there's now this huge new fence which makes viewing the game even harder than it used to be. So much has to be left to the imagination; and since I tend to imagine the worst, everything tends to look worse. And in the end, how much worse can you get than top of the league? The only way from here is down, after all.

Next game
Friday night at home against an increasingly shambles Heidelberg. The parking situation should be fun. 

Turns out the Football Victoria constitution guarantees some
 staff a pig every month, and two comely lasses of virtue true.

The NCIP is dead. Long live the NCIP.
Wild scenes behind the freeway end goal during the first half on Saturday, with security, under instruction from a mysterious "commissioner", trying to get us to put away a Greek flag. This at a ground with an Albanian flag painted on the grandstand, while blasting out Albanian tunes over the PA system, and whose home team had massive double-headed eagles on the back of their jerseys. All of which I have an issue with on the grounds of a lack of tasteful subtlety, but not much else really.

Now those of you who attend South games will probably have seen our for now anonymous friend (who is not Greek) and his flag at some point, (those of you who don't attend may have seen it on broadcasts or in photo montages) and you may have even seen his England and Wales flags at home matches. It's something he does of his own volition. No one's told him to do it. 

Anyway, our friend had been waving it rather than hanging it on the fence, but upon the security guy's request tucked it away for a bit. The conversation between I suppose you'd call it Clarendon Corner and the security guy ended with the secco being told to go back to the "commissioner" to get them to come down personally so we could have a polite chat about it. Security guy goes off, and comes back later saying the "commissioner" says it's in his book of regulations that the flag is banned, unless it has the club logo on it or some such to distinguish it from merely being a national flag. We then told the security guy again to get the bloke to come down and show us the actual passage/clause, because the National Club Identity Policy as it was has been dead for four years, and we can google the articles to prove it. And yes of course I googled it. 

Second half and we've moved to the other end of the ground, and the security guy walks past the social club goal on his rounds. He says the "commissioner" can't find the rule. Well duh. I mean the secco wasn't being a knob about it, but don't these people read the news? Aren't they meant to be up to date with what they're supposed to be policing? More to the point, we never found out who this "commissioner" was, a question which perplexed me then and still does, since designated match commissioners haven't been a thing at Victorian grounds for what seems like well over a decade. 

Women's season begins
Our senior women begin their season at home against Heidelberg on Saturday. From a distance (ie, glancing at the club's social media), it looks like the squad is swinging back to recruiting outside of its own junior ranks. 2023 also sees the competition expand from eight teams to eleven, with Preston, Boroondara Eagles, and Southern United all finding their way back into the women's top flight after varying number of years away. That'll add a bit of variety at least by, if nothing else, evening out the ratio of teams with "United" in their name just a bit.

Two, then four, and also 25 million more obstacles to our return to top-flight glory
Oh, the humanity. The A-League is going to add two new teams to its pyramid scheme outside the actual pyramid system, in Canberra and Auckland. Then somewhere further down the track, Brisbane and maybe Wollongong. Asking price for a licence, $25 million. Good luck to them. Some may well say what's the point of even trying to get up a National Second Division under such circumstances, but the choice remains the same today as it did yesterday and probably the day before yesterday. Stay in this dead-end league (even though it is the centre of the universe), or keep trying for something even a little better, given the fact that we (and people formerly working for us) have put so much effort into trying to set up our own retro-flavoured pyramid scheme outside the actual pyramid system? Me, I say we replicate on a national scale the baffling phenomenon of the marvelously dank Sunshine Plaza being right across from the brightly lit Sunshine Marketplace.

On the streams
Filling in time until the footy starts like a normal Melburnian
One time, Frank Sinatra came in here, and sat in this chair. I say, "Frank, you hang out with Michael Eagar. Just between me and you, how old is Michael Eagar?" Know what Frank told me? He said "Hey, Michael Eagar is a hundred thirty-seven years old." A hundred and thirty-seven years old!

Preliminary final thought, also about the streams
I will watch a lot of crap on the TV and such, but I will not watch teams when they're playing in grey kits anymore. Enough. Gully, out. Langwarrin, doubly out for wearing a grey kit when their home kit is blue and they were playing against a team that wears red. Wouldn't have been in that mess in the first place if the Moreland vs Magic stream was working though. 

Final thought
Thanks to Johnny for the lift back the city, always appreciated.

Outsourcing - South Melbourne 2 Melbourne Knights 1

South Melbourne FC maintained their perfect start to the season with a hard-fought 2-1 win over Melbourne Knights on Monday night at Lakeside Stadium. Due to an athletics meet that took over the stadium over the preceding weekend, the match between South Melbourne and Melbourne Knights was played as a one-off Monday night fixture at Lakeside Stadium. However, it is unclear if the move made a difference to the number of people attending.

The hosts started brightly and were rewarded in the 23rd minute when Marco Jankovic rose highest to head home off another Max Mikkola long throw-in, much to the delight of the home fans. In the second half, they doubled their lead with Pat Langlois pouncing on Chris Oldfield's save from Marcus Schroen's curling shot.

The Knights pulled one back from the penalty spot after goalkeeper Javi Lopez made a desperate attempt to collect the ball in the box, resulting in a foul. The remainder of the match saw South Melbourne revert to overly defensive tactics. While the victory was cause for celebration, the disheartening prospect of goalkeeper Javi Lopez winning the club's MVP award again looms large. Lopez was once again instrumental in South Melbourne's win, making several crucial saves to keep the Knights at bay. 

The match saw South Melbourne's star striker Ajak Riak being kept well in check by the Knights' defense, but Langlois was a standout performer in midfield, scoring a goal and creating several other chances throughout the match. The victory also raises questions about whether South Melbourne fans should be happy with the team's style of play, given their excellent start to the season. Some argue that the club's winning record should be enough to satisfy fans, while others maintain that the team's tactics should reflect the club's traditions.

Next game
Away against Dandenong Thunder on Saturday night. I almost hope that we lose so that Esteban stops wearing that non-club branded polo top. Very superstitious man, I'm told. Me, I abhor superstitions, and especially sporting superstitions. It implies a lack of trust in your ability to get results on your own merits. Leave the augury and haruspicy to the mug punters, I reckon.

There was a cup draw
Yes, I know. Came home from work, fired up the old laptop, launched Twitter, and saw that we'd been draw as the home against Kingston. Then I went to check out the tail end of the live draw video on Facebook, and the person commenting on the draw kept saying "verse" instead of "versus", and I couldn't shut off the video quickly enough. 

What's a truck?
What's an AGM? By the way, if they don't announce a date by tomorrow, the earliest the next AGM can be held will be April, a full month after the last AGM was held, which itself was held way later than it should have been. Maybe this is all part of the plan to align our financial reporting with the actual season, rather than the financial year. Maybe I just made that up.

Amway! Amway! Amway!
32 consortia - mostly single clubs, but also a handful of group efforts or partnerships - have put in an expression of interest for the National Second Division. The expression of interest is merely a first step of course, because afterwards you actually have to make a bid. Eight Victorian clubs have put in an expression of interest, and South Melbourne is one of those eight clubs. 

Of the 32 consortia, 15 have some connection to National Soccer League participants, almost all of them as standalone prospects. Consider the numbers I suppose. There were about 40 odd teams which played in the NSL. About a dozen of them are no longer in existence; another three are in the A-League. So of the 25 odd remaining NSL clubs, fifteen are still keen on taking another stab at something approximating national league football. You can take out of that what you will.

Without going into this too deeply, showing mock shock at the gumption of some of these upstarts thinking that they can compete at that level, I will make note of a couple of interesting absentees. Queensland Lions, objectively one of the wealthiest clubs outside the A-League, are sitting this process out, figuring I suppose that once bitten, twice shy. The other surprise absentee, considering the, er, "caliber" of some of the Victorian clubs who have expressed an interest, is Oakleigh. Who knows what their rationale might be in making that decision.

Uh, excuse me, Professor Brainiac, but I worked in a nuclear power plant for 10 years, and, uh, I think I know how a proton accelerator works
Of all the... look, let's get the disclaimers out of the way. I only got to see other people's responses to whatever the original comment was, because the original comment maker has me blocked on Twitter, which is absolutely their right to do so; that is what the block button is there for. Anything else then is me inferring what was said, which was probably something to do with how great it would be for South Melbourne Hellas and its fans when the new Anzac station is up and running when the Metro Tunnel project is finished in a couple of years, and how convenient it will be for getting to and from Lakeside.

Maybe. Look, I love public transport, even when it hates me. There is no one at South Melbourne that's more gaga for more trains and more non-car ways to get to all the grounds. And as someone currently living within the catchment of a station on the under-construction Metro Tunnel line, I can't wait for the project to be finished, even if it will mean an additional interchange to get to my workplace, assuming AI hasn't made my role redundant by then. But will Anzac station make getting to Lakeside Stadium easier by public transport? 

Well, yes, kinda, sorta, under one very specific set of conditions, and even then only if you're coming in from the south-east and you don't mind a vigorous constitutional, ala Sideshow Bob. That's it. If you're coming in from anywhere else, it'll do diddly for you, because you'd still be better off getting the number 12 or the 96 or even the bloody no. 1 from the CBD, unless you really, really like walking. 

Let's assume for argument's sake that both stands and both gates are open. The no. 96, whose nearest station to Lakeside is Albert Park, is a 700 metre odd walk. The no. 1, which stops at the corner of Park and Clarendon, is about 600 metres away, though you also have to deal with slow meander through the theatre and arts district. The no. 12 is about 150 metres away, with the main bit of awfulness being the very bad tram stop, which fortunately (from a safety standpoint) rarely has to deal with large crowds.

The future Anzac station/former Domain interchange site is over 1.2 kilometres away from Lakeside. Being that far along a busy road, there are also several traffic lights which need to be crossed. The average person takes about five minutes to walk 500 metres. Realistically, you're looking at a walking journey of over 15 minutes. If you're walking along the north side of the route, it's not exactly the most pedestrian friendly pathway. If you're walking on the park side, especially within the park itself, it's not the best lit place at night. 

A few years ago now, I walked from Lakeside after a match to the now defunct Domain interchange (which is slightly to the north of the future Anzac station) in order to go watch The Godfather at The Astor with my brothers. What a slog, and I'm not just talking about the movie. I occasionally walk between Sunshine station and my house (when public transport lets me down, or when the weather's nice), which is about five hundred metres more than Lakeside is from the Anzac station site, and my goodness, what an awful experience. Looking back at my Google Maps data from the day, it says I traveled 1.6 kilometres by foot, and that I ran. That's how fast I was apparently walking.

And I mention this because it seemed to be that someone was making the claim (and I hope that I am wrong about that) that it was merely a four minute walk from the Anzac station site to Lakeside. That's pure nonsense. From Sunshine to my place, it's a leisurely 15 minute stroll, with just one set of lights and a couple of small pedestrian crossings to navigate. And one could, of course, more often than not choose to catch the bus. There is no bus or tram service between the future Anzac station and Lakeside. So in short, the eventual arrival of Anzac station is actually going to be of negligible benefit to South fans.

The answer to none of your questions
So, why was Pat Langlois' goal from the corner against Moreland not filmed by the NPL cameraperson? Because they are under instruction to film all substitutions, and being inconsiderate, we decided to take the corner quickly.

On the streams
Everyone has a vice
Someone goes to me the other day, "you seem to watch a lot of NPL TV"; a comment which sounded to sit halfway between observation and accusation, and that's the way I've decided to take it. If there was somewhere to go, I would've gone. If there was something else to watch, I wouldn't watched it. If there something else to do, I would've done it. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself? Maybe I'm sick enough about this league to stay home, and watch Gully pick up three points in a grey away with indecipherable green numbers. The flick it over to watch the Bergers look hopeless against an energetic St Albans. The next day, there was some spiciness behind the goals between Avondale and Hume supporters, and once again no one in Avondale's little shed stand; I'm told that this is because its safety permit has lapsed, and they're awaiting council approval to let people into it again. And they want to join... well, who knows.

Final thought
Sure we used about 40 odd players that year, but of all the things to lie about, claiming to have played for South Melbourne in 2011 seems like one of the more stupid lies to come up with about yourself.

Lavender Blues - Green Gully 1 South Melbourne 3

Bringing order to chaos, but at what cost?
You know I'd almost forgotten that we didn't go to Green Gully Reserve last year? Rocking up to the game, I was shocked to be welcomed to a paved parking lot. Unfortunately it's one of those hideous concoctions which actively reduced the number of available spots. That'd be more a problem if there were actually any people there. Crowd was ordinary. There was no curtain raiser game to artificially fill out the concourse with parents and reserves players. There was also no Maltese marching band. Instead there was a dated Artie K-like mix playing over the speakers (ugh), and a free match program (very much appreciated), but hardly any sort of vibe from us or them. Can't wait to take this energy into the National Second Division.

What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu?! Nobody ever brings those up! 
You wear a suit to one game, and then that's all you are: suit guy. To get around that, I got home early on Friday, got changed into my South Melbourne Gunners t-shirt, only to find that I'd started an unholy trend. Me, the fashion trend-setter. Θα χαλάσει ο καιρός, as my mum likes to say.

Granny chic
Speaking of fashion, we were thankfully spared by virtue of being the away team, from seeing Green Gully's awful grey away kit. I don't know what it is about teams that think silver and grey are god kit colours, but anyway. Gully's goalkeeper kits this year include a shade of lavender that's pure old lady hand soap. Admittedly, I pine for the days where goalkeepers wore a solid clash colour jersey, and a shorts and socks combo that matched their teammates. 

Apples and Oranges
Unusually (I think? I'm not so sure now) the NSW NPL started earlier than its Victorian counterpart this season, so I've seen a little of their games and highlights. Their synthetic pitches and too many futsal players posing as outfield players gives that comp if not quite an air of effeteness, than certainly at least a postmodern sense of digital, anodyne precision. NPL Victoria, by comparison, though being played on better quality fields than ever, still has a bit more physicality. NSW players may more regularly score top bins goals, but it's always a bit easier when the ball doesn't bobble, and there's no Nikola Jurkovic types waiting to kill you.

One may not have thought it possible based on their 2000-2011 iteration, but Green Gully would nowadays almost fit in better north of the Murray than they do south of it. Remember when coming to Green Gully Reserve as a South fan meant not just an inevitable loss, but also a bruising one? Now we haven't lost there since 2013, and it seems to get that little bit easier each time. The old grinding, ugly Gully is gone, replaced by a ball playing side that could do great things, were it not for the fact that they play in a predominantly counter-attacking league.

And which team is both more conditioned to and adept at playing pure counter-attacking football than South Melbourne? Based on a statistically insignificant (but still instructive) two matches, not much has changed for us, except for the height of the balls going forward. Last year they were very high; this year they're a bit lower. That's all down to having Ajak Riak in the place of Harry Sawyer.

Now I may have gone off half-cocked on the forum a few weeks ago when watching choppy footage of a Greek Community Cup match, claiming Riak would not score a goal this season except by accident, such was his apparent lack of coordination. People at that relevant claim that he looked OK, nothing like what us stay-at-homes were watching, and maybe they've been proven right.

Riak seems to know how play off the shoulder of the last defender, he seems to know where to move, and how to generally make the right or at least better decision when provided with two or more possibilities. His cause (and ours) were helped by being up against a team that's no longer the old thug Gully on a choppy field, (pointless baited into it Zidane headbutts notwithstanding), so there was enough space to do his thing. It might not be so useful when teams play more compactly against us.

Still, his mere presence makes us more watchable (and that's no slight on Sawyer's very productive 2022 season), but overall there's not likely to be much change to the way we play. Maybe the full backs will get a bit further up the field a bit more often. but the entire race to be runner-up hinges on Ajak not getting hurt - the rest of the squad will be rotated in and out on a needs basis. The small bonus is if we transfer to playing a more ground ball attacking game, instead of a high ball one, it will be easier to switch to someone like Alun Webb playing up front when Riak inevitably gets injured.

Next game
Melbourne Knights at home on Monday night. No, it's not the Labour Day public holiday Monday; that's the week after. Athletics has the field over the weekend; fair enough. Also, kickoff has been moved from 7:30pm to 8:15pm to accommodate apparently "overwhelming interest", which is just code for let's make it even harder for Paul to get home after the game, because there's going to be rail replacement buses, and cabs that don't turn up even though they're allegedly one minute away, and then you walk home. And all this just to watch us lose to the second best team in the NPL (after Oakleigh, of course). Should I just go home after work and watch it on the TV? Maybe. 

NSD news
More and more teams have put out their little press releases that they're expressing an interest. We haven't done that yet.

AGM news
None. Might as well just privatise the club.

On the streams
Hip to be square (balls)
It occurred to me, much later than it should have, that this season is another pointless one. Just as pointless as the usual pointless ones, when there was misplaced hope of getting people back to the club by winning stuff. More pointless than the ones where we were all accosted by A-League bid nonsense. More pointless than those seasons where winning the league didn't matter, because it was all about the FFA Cup. More pointless than those aborted COVID seasons, and the pointless (but at least ultimately hilarious) Bespoke Cup season. Oakleigh's going to win the title this season or, at best, be cheated out of it by an Act of God. So could we at least enjoy the relegation battle (24 more points to go...)? Well, no. Thanks to the NSD (which is totally going to happen), there's possibly going to be three or four or five Victorian clubs getting out of this circle of hell, which will shake up the entire local league system. So what then if Port or Avondale score bangers against relegation candidates? So what if Moreland gets an upset win against a now zero and two Bentleigh? So what if Preston drop a point here or there on their way to promotion, to what exactly? Thunder vs Dinamo eight goal banger? Pointless, unless you're a gambler living in that particular moment where you're sweating on + or - 3.5 goals. Yes, I suppose we could just enjoy the games on their own merits, as they veer from one goal from a misplaced pass to another goal from a set piece. 

Final thought
Turns out that one of the court officers I work with is a Perth Glory fan. Just when I thought I'd shed all proximity to Western Australian nonsense, it's right there three metres away. 

Be Where You Belong - South Melbourne 2 Moreland City 1

Another new season, and another year of supporting this club. Though my commitment and interest has wavered between extremes since my first game circa late 1992, here I am, a touch over 30 years later, still doing this thing. Not quite as hardcore as the majority of the past 17 years or so, because life comes at you slow, then fast, and all of sudden you're a semi-regular working man. That's why I rocked up to the game in a suit and tie, because someone thought it would be great to have us stay back late in order to try and find a suitable court date some time this year in which to finally sort out who's responsible for bringing prawn white spot disease into Australian waters.

Anyway, I got to the ground early enough to get a seat at a table in the social club, but not necessarily early enough to grab something to eat. Though at $20 for any meal that wasn't a box of chips, one has to wonder if it's worth the bother. At this stage it looks like I'm eating more food at home or away from our ground, because while the cost of living crisis is certainly getting out of hand, it's no one's responsibility to single-handedly keep our social club operation afloat. Maybe consider providing some smaller, more affordable options; or even just having the kitchen open after a game. I don't know, I'm not a business person; I'm just a middle-aged pleb working an entry level admin job.

(And who's idea was it to not have the drinks tent outside the social club on a warm summer's day, with the kind of crowd that would make it economically worthwhile? So much for the match day experience.)

So on the face of it, it's another year of complaining from me, so at least we've settled into the usual South of the Border routine. But 30 years. Seems like a long time. Strange to think that some of what we would still call the newer faces in around Clarendon Corner have been around the club for 10 or 15 years. It's strange also to think that this season might be our last in this league that we thought we'd never get out of (and still mightn't); we've dedicated songs to this interminable existence (even managing to exchange "NPL" for "VPL"), and yet maybe this is it. And thus 18 seasons in, we can pay tribute via song to the hope that we might be getting somewhere; a league for you and me perhaps.

It could theoretically be worse. If you discount the starting point of the merger which created Moreland City as we know it in the early 1990s, then people involved with that entity have been waiting to get back to this level for 60 years. 

(Moreland City is an early 1990s merger of Moreland Park Rangers and Coburg. Moreland Park Rangers was a merger between Moreland and Kew Park Rangers. Before they moved to Kew in the 1970s, Park Rangers were founded as an offshoot of South Melbourne United in the mid-1940s. Moreland itself was an early 1930s breakaway from the then Brunswick club, which folded a few years later. So in some ways, you can make the argument South Melbourne Hellas and Moreland City are distant cousins.)

1962, the last season any club affiliated with today's Moreland City was in the Victorian top flight, was a very ling time ago. Moreland won just one game that year, while South won the first of its many state titles. They brought enough people to Thursday's game to make it interesting, and their side gave it a red hot go; well, they gave it a go until they scored, and then sat back, and copped two goals thanks to heinous defending. But it's not our job to hand back gifts like that, most of the time anyway - see Wallen's miss of the season, which should have been a contender for being a successor to that Fernando goal. He even asked the ref for permission to take the shot!

Anyway, the two goals we scored weren't exactly top drawer material. The first came when from their own goal kick, three Moreland defenders went to mark Ajak Riak, leaving the centre corridor open, lost the header coming back the other way in any event, leaving Alun Webb to slot a one on one. The second goal, one of many corners, this one finished off by Pat Langlois who was allowed to run and jump at the ball as if it were a training drill. 

Of the new players on show, Ajak Riak looked... actually OK. As long as his coaches, teammates, and to a lesser extent the crowd acknowledge that he's not Harrison Sawyer, he could be useful. He's naturally more mobile than Sawyer, can shoot hard, and seems to have a trick or two up his sleeve. Everyone says he's raw, and that might be true, but he also seems to know where to move and how to time a run. At the very least, his mere presence might mean fewer aerial long balls, and perhaps some lower through balls. Danny Kim didnt have a great one. Ali Suleimani probably wasn't out there long enough.

Of the regulars, Ben Djiba was excellent, especially considering his lack of match fitness. Jake Marshall was as solid as ever, and Max Mikkola was busy. Missing three or four potential starting eleven players - Jankovic, Painter-Andrews, Schroen, Hancock - didn't end up making too much of a difference. But it's only one game, and against a team everyone is expecting to be in the bottom three or four, no disrespect intended.

Next game
Green Gully away on Friday night. Gully lost to Oakleigh last night, but since everyone is going to lose to Oakleigh this year, that's not much to go on.

AGM
Do we even need to have one? I think we've had enough of them. Anyway, legally obligated corporate governance is for wimps.

NSD News
A few clubs have made expression of interest announcements about their intentions regarding the NSD. We're not one of those, yet.

On the streams
Not as bad as Paramount+, or so I'm told
There are saving graces of sorts to following a club in this league, and not a higher one. You get to see your team in person every week, if you so choose. You don't have to deal with VAR. And you don't have to deal with what people tell me is a very substandard streaming service. NPL TV has its problems, but it is apparently not as bad as the streaming service that the A-League relies on. Still, that doesn't mean that one can't complain. Stuck at home, with not much to do, I've been flicking through a few games this week, and look... there's only so much that can be done about about grounds with poor elevation, poor sight-lines, poor sun position. But camera operators can still, ideally, make the correct choice about what to film. So, player coming off the bench or a corner being taken? Thank goodness that Abraham Zapruder SMFC TV had its own reverse angle camera in place to capture Langlois' goal. Elsewhere there were the usual breaks or delays of the stream kicking in. Now that goal clips are being added to social media, it's troubling to see some clips producing content that is unusable, because of its frame skipping quality. 

But my biggest bugbear with NPL TV coverage - commentators who yell at me, the viewer, in the mistaken Brian Taylor inspired idea that volume = excitement - was missing this week, and for that I am glad. Thus I enjoyed seeing North Geelong embarrass Bentleigh; Altona Magic and Hume score within 30 seconds of each other; 10 man Port snatch a draw against Avondale; the Bergers going down at home to Dandy Thunder; and St Albans demonstrating that maybe attacking will get you further than playing deeper than 2013 Southern Stars.

Final thought
Look, this is just something that occurred to me, for no reason at all, and I'm certainly not here to tell people how to live their lives; but maybe some people would allegedly be better off with a raspberry lemonade instead of the limitless (at least compared to what's available to the plebs) alcohol available in the corporate box. That's especially the case if consumption of that plentiful booze only encourages certain people to allegedly pursue silly internet beefs on real world terraces, when they could be building the stadium they allegedly promised to have ready several years ago now. Allegedly.

Unwatchable / Unwatched - Mill Park 0 South Melbourne 2

Well, I was going to miss the first ten minutes of the broadcast of the Greek Community Cup final, because of "errands". Then I got home, and tried to watch from about 12th minute onward, only to be met with persistent issues with the stream, which kept dropping out. During this period we scored two goals, of which I might have seen the second, though I think that's where the feed went a bit cuckoo. Then I gave up on it, and I went to the supermarket for my main weekly shop. So it goes. At least the real stuff begins this week.

Here comes the Aldi NSL...

Disclaimer - a good chunk of what follows assumes that South Melbourne will be a successful applicant for a national second division.

Well, knock me down with a feather, it's finally here. Or somewhat more precisely, just over there, somewhere between reality and social media clamouring.

The other week Football Australia announced that expressions of interest for the National Second Tier were now open. The competition format isn't settled yet, as that will depend on the level of interest from prospective parties. Assuming that enough clubs are capable of competing in a league competition, the NST competition would be a standalone tier between the A-League and NPL, with promotion and relegation happening only once the NST had become "mature". If not enough suitable clubs are found - a minimum of ten - then we're looking at a Champions League style, post-season group format.

Participating clubs would be required to withdraw their senior team from their state NPL competitions.  You'd hope and assume that our upper age youth team (the 20/21/reserves) would still play in their NPL competition.

(but there's also this requirement: "investment in and operation of a full talent development pathway within their club structure", whatever that means)

Among the concerns I've seen is what happens if the whole thing falls over after a year or two - what happens to us then? Do we get straight back into the NPL competition, or would it be a complete mess like after the dissolution of the National Soccer League? 

The first thing to remember is that in 2004 there was overlap between the end of the last NSL season and the beginning of that year's Victorian Premier League season. That wasn't an issue that couldn't be overcome - it's just there wasn't the willingness (hello fridge magnets!) from some people to make the effort. The other thing to remember is that it's not 2004 anymore. Let's assume for argument's sake that this thing gets up, at least for one season., but then goes belly-up. There were changes made to the rules after the 2004 debacle in the event of something similar happening to an A-League team. While you could never rule out colossal stupidity on the part of a governing body to stuff something like this up, you'd like to assume that such provisions would be carried over to the NST; especially since the eventual goal is to implement promotion and relegation.

At first, the NST will have a winter season, with a March 2024 start. Not a great outcome for those hoping to boost crowds by getting out of the winter soccer quagmire. I suppose if you're of the belief that merely being back in a (quasi) national competition will be enough to get people out of their boycott of what we do now, that's not an issue. For those who believe that winter and competing soccer (senior and juniors) and AFL seasons - in addition to ongoing degraded prestige - have a substantial impact on our current numbers, there's a lot more doubt about how many people would return, and for how long.

That goes also for the potential "revival" of old rivalries. Assuming that most of the NST's participants will be former national league teams - and throughout the process, that has been the main assumption of both NST supporters and detractors - will there really be enough and sustained interest? It's easy to point to classic/pinnacle NSL matches with big crowds. It's also easy to point out matches where crowds were not so good. And away crowds for interstate travel - never a strong point in the old days, even taking into account much higher travel costs - well, I'm not sure how many even the "big" clubs will be bringing to an interstate match. 

There's additionally a requirement to have access to "a suitable high-quality match day facility 12 months of the year", which seems fair. I suspect that requirement is in place in the event that the competition eventually moves to a summer alignment. Such a requirement does pose an interesting question about how South's tenure at Lakeside qualifies. It's not that we don't have access to the venue 12 months of the year; but our winter priority period does muddy the waters a little, assuming an eventual summer switch. There's also the grand prix and other special events which sees our access to Lakeside curtailed from time to time. I'm sure it'll be fine, though.

I've also seen some contention about the requirement of squads being made up of players on professional contracts, being paid 52 weeks of the year. Some people have inferred that this will mean full-time (and thus non-affordable) professionalism, when it's not quite clear that that's the case. In Australian soccer, we tend to get too much confusion about professionalism means. There are two different concepts which should not be conflated: professionals vs semi-professionals, and professionals vs amateurs. The first concept is a social distinction, while the second is an administrative one. 

So we don't know yet how many, if any, NST teams will field squads made up of full-time professionals. It's got to be the aim at some point that full-time professionalism will be the default, as opposed to the exception. In South's case, at any rate, the club has long moved to a contract and payment system adhering to these standards (or so we've been told), in part to spread the payment load across an entire year, and to avoid contractual disputes (not always avoidable, but you know).

For those who come from outside the South supporters bubble - especially those who get most of their knowledge about the views of our fanbase from social media - it's hard to get the point across that the views of our supporters are much more varied than is actually the case. Those holding the view of getting into the A-League or NST at any cost are just one part of who we are as South supporters. So while on social media you see the gung-ho attitude of the loudest people, on our forum it's a lot more circumspect and cautious. 

Is this idea actually viable? Does our board really think that the NST's financial and attendance targets are achievable for us? How much of it is being driven by the fear that if we don't apply and get in, that we'll be left even further behind? But despite the many unknowns of an NST, we do know what we've had to put up with for the past 18 years, and thus it's a choice between two unsustainable competitions, one which is moribund, and the other which is, at best, untested. For us, it looks like "better the devil you know" is likely to give way to "swim, until you can't see land". 

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here, anyway.

Last night, in front of people that matter, South Melbourne 4, Essendon Royals 1. Video highlights make it all look like a bit of kick and giggle to be honest.

This Saturday, in front of people who can be bothered, it'll be South Melbourne vs Mill Park in the Greek Community Cup final. Why 1pm? Why at the exact same time as the 3rd vs 4th match Shield final? I don't know. Seems like a waste to even use two fields, when they could just chuck all four teams on the same field.

For your convenience - assuming you're not going to the match - the final will also be screened live on Channel 31, which I'm sure will disappoint those people who park themselves on their couch to watch ten uninterrupted hours of fishing shows. 

Set expectations to... - South Melbourne 1 Kingston City 1 (South won 5-3 on penalties)

This was the first chance I'd had this season to have an extended look at what our senior men's team has been doing. So far it's been highlight snatches of deliberately obscure friendly matches, which it would be unsuitable to use to gauge anything resembling form or style. Whether it's much better to use a Facebook stream watched on a phone while making and/or eating dinner to make the same judgments I would have done anyway, is an ethical-philosophical question I'm not particularly equipped to answer.

Although, seeing a few familiar faces in that part of the crowd nearest to the camera, I was reminded that the years have been kinder to some heads of hair more than others. Also, I didn't think it was actually shorts weather on Saturday, but there were people in the crowd wearing shorts. Always the big issues on South of the Border. 

What I can say is that of what I saw in the first half of this game, I wasn't terribly impressed. We were dog's balls. I understand that the field a was a little bumpy, and that there was a fair bit of wind, but that didn't seem to effect Kingston in any significant way, as they maintained possession and played the ball on the ground, while we either panicked and belted the ball long, or hit stupid short passes not on the ground, but at shin height. And that goal Kingston scored? Sure, our midfield may as well have not been there, but it was an entertaining move nonetheless. I'd like to see us score more goals like that.

Now maybe I overreacted on the forum with criticisms of the first half performance, and my observations of certain players when I completely wrote off this team's chances for season 2023 based on 15 minutes of footage. But I hadn't quite gone to the lengths of suggesting that we play the youth team (who had done the heavy lifting in this tournament thus far) in the season proper, and just tank the league season and save some coin doing so, ala when Ballarat Red Devils did the same in 2013 in state league 2 north-west, in the belief (later proven true), that they would get promoted to a higher plane (inaugural NPL season) regardless of results. 

(And how sobering it must be to see in that same table two teams we'll be playing against this season. Well, that's promotion and relegation for you.)

I mean, assuming we can find nine more equally deluded clubs to join us, we're already guaranteed a place in the National Second Division, no? Otherwise what would be the point of basically setting up the ideological and operational framework for the NSD if we weren't first cab off the rank? Don't answer that question; not because it might be uncomfortable to think about, but because it's a question for another day.

Anyway, the second half was better. Not that these things should matter, especially in a pre-season match, but you'd like to think we would be better than an opponent a division below us, consisting in part of players (at senior and junior level) that we'd discarded, alongside two former coaches who happened to be in the same dugout. Also, we are nothing if not fitness machines compared to everyone else at this point of the year, so we could at least expect to overrun our opponents.

I looked away for a moment, and Marcus Schroen scored. Looking later the replay, it was a very nice team goal, so whatever gasket I'd blown about our lack of aesthetics was really a waste of everyone's time and energy. Unfortunately the side couldn't win the game in normal time, but won a penalty shootout (with backup keeper Willem Lejeune between the sticks), using an inordinate amount of left footers to do the job (and right-footer Alun Webb who fluffed his line, but got a second chance thank to a letter of the law assistant referee).

The great tragedy of winning this game is that now we're in the final, against the much lower league Mill Park. Ideally you'd have wanted another NPL opponent, but they'd all either been bundled out (Oakleigh, Heidelberg), or never entered in the first place (Bentleigh, Port). So the dilemma here is play the full senior squad, or the youth team, or a mix of youth and fringe senior players, while fielding the stating eleven against another opponent in a friendly.

Pre-season news from far away places

Did you go? I didn't. 
Last Saturday arvo at Lakeside, our senior men drew 1-1 with South Australian side Campbelltown City. I don't if we played well or not. I suppose it doesn't matter.

Did you go? I didn't. (reprise)
On Sunday evening our under 21s team defeated whoever was representing Heidelberg 1-0, in the Greek Community Cup quarter finals. At least I had an excuse for not attending this game, as I was on a bus somewhere between Dunkeld and Port Fairy, for work purposes.

South fans everywhere but where you need them (but then again...)
Upon arriving at my Port Fairy accommodation, I struck up a conversation with the person in the apartment next door, who recognised my Hellas cap. Turns out he used to go to South games back in the day, and he spent the next few minutes reminiscing about Lefteri and the old grandstand. The next morning there was some ungodly yelling coming from that apartment, which possibly related to [redacted] plans gone awry, so maybe it's for the best that my new friend no longer goes to South games.

Another new keeper
Looks like we've signed another backup keeper, one Willem Lejeune. Apparently this is because Ben Ratajczak has suffered some of injury.

Next game
Barring some mystery friendly which you only learn about after the fact, our next pre-season match is against Kingston on Saturday in the semi finals of the Greek Community Cup. Kickoff is at 3:30, and this is a 90 minute match. Expect to see more senior players in action than has been the case for the tournament thus far.

Late pre-season fixture changes

The Greek Community Cup game against Heidelberg that was scheduled for tomorrow, is now scheduled for Sunday at 5:00 PM. Expect a youthful team to be fielded once again on our behalf. Here's hoping that the decision to move that and the other quarter final fixtures was taken because of the very hot temperatures forecast for tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, there is another pre-season match tomorrow at Lakeside, between our more senior players and the visiting South Australian side Campbelltown City; but since our club's official social media wing has not advertised it whatsoever, I am going to assume that it will be played behind closed doors, as has become customary for pre-season matches at Lakeside.

In other pre-season matches you didn't know about, we drew 1-1 with Green Gully on Wednesday.

International club (of the century) of mystery

So last Thursday in the Greek Community Cup we beat Altona East 3-0, and then on the Saturday we beat East Kew, also 3-0. Some highlights packages have been put up of other games in this tournament, but oddly enough, not ours. Our game against East Kew was streamed live on Facebook however; which would have been nice for those watching on delay, had one not stumbled upon the result before even getting close to pressing play.

At any rate, the South team playing in this tournament so far appears to have been made up of 20s players, which would explain why the team rocked up in a uniform without any numbers of the back of their shirts. Somehow they weren't even the first team to do that during this tournament; I'd excuse smaller teams by saying it's just the pre-season, but we're supposed to be... well, maybe not a big team anymore, but could we maybe be at least a less small team? 

Because Altona East had lost two matches (one of them to us), by the time we got around to playing East Kew, we'd already qualified for the tournament's qualifying stage. So the only thing left to do sort out was whether we'd finish first or second in a three team group. Well, we finished first, and our next task is a quarter final match against Heidelberg United, who somehow finished second in their group. That'll be on this Saturday at Lalor, at 1:00 PM. 

These things happen I suppose, but assuming that we care about this cup, you'd reckon we'd have rather faced someone else, thereby allowing us to play our 20s for one more match. The quarter-finals are still only 70 minutes long, which may or may not suit the preparation of the senior team for the season proper. Of course the seniors could just organise their own friendlies, as they did last week when they played a closed doors friendly against Pascoe Vale at Lakeside. The overseas gambling community (at least those not conscripted by Putin to to bolster numbers on the frontlines) must be apoplectic with rage that they're not able to bet on games no one knew were happening.

Mid-January 2023 digest

Friendlies you didn't know about
Last Saturday morning our senior men played against North Geelong in Shepparton, winning 2-1, Jankovic and Schroen the scorers. 

I can't believe it's not the Hellenic Cup
A new pre-season tournament, the Greek Community Cup, begins next week. It's not the Hellenic Cup, I guess because the rights to the Hellenic Cup belong to a separate organisation of the same name.

At any rate, we're in Group One, with Altona East PAOK and East Kew Olympiakos. Group games and the quarter finals are 70 minute matches. All matches are at Partridge Street Reserve, Lalor.

We play on Thursday (19/1, 7pm) against Altona East, and on Saturday (21/1, 1pm) against East Kew. 

I have no idea if the souvs at Lalor are any good, or if there even will be any souvs on offer.

Better than you remember, perhaps
Remember Carl Piergianni? He was a tall central defender type who was on holiday in Australia circa early 2017, when we picked him up. It didn't quite work out; he wasn't quite fit, which only made his lack of pace worse, and he headed home (without heading in any goals from corners, as promised by the YouTube montage) and resumed his career in England's lower reaches; first at Salford City, then Oldham Athletic, at the latter under the management (for a brief time) of Harry Kewell.

Old mate Carl is now captain of Stevenage (currently sitting second in League 2). And they're doing OK in the FA Cup, having just knocked off Premier League side Aston Villa 2-1 at Villa Park, with both Stevenage goals coming late in the game, including the winner from a bloody short corner. Our man is looking quite slim, too, Carl and Stevenage will face Championship straggler Stoke City in the fourth round, and South of the Border wishes them all the best. 

Not quite as good you remember, perhaps
But it's not all sunshine and smiles for ex-South people playing abroad. Harrison Sawyer, NPL Victoria's golden boot winner in 2022, hasn't been having the best time of it in the Indian Super League. After an OK start where he provided a couple of assists (read, headed the ball on from a cross or throw-in), Harry's Jamshedpur adventure hasn't gone quite to plan. He's been coming off the bench, and his team has barely won a game all season. Still, Sawyer came off the bench and scored in his team's 2-1 win over East Bengal, just Jamshedpur's second win of the season. It'll be interesting to see what Harry's next move is after this - the ISL season is short one - just 22 rounds - and it ends at the end of February.

December 2022 digest

One friendly down
Normally I'm falling over myself to tell you people about upcoming friendlies and such, but when it's a 6:30 PM Friday kickoff at Knox - with mixed messaging about whether it was even going to be on a Friday or a Saturday - well, even I have my limits. But having said that, there was a game some time before Christmas on a Friday evening, which we "won" 4-3 against Kingston City.

Scorers were Ajak Riak, Andy Brennan, Max Mikkola and Marcus Schroen. The only thing of meaning that I could glean from the available footage was that one of our scorers had gotten a blonde dye job. The blurry footage made him look like the People's Champ had made a comeback from lower league obscurity, but sadly for gimmick-lovers everywhere, it was just Max Mikkola making very poor hairstyle decisions.

But what about the next one?
If you're wondering when the friendly will be, well, I don't know. It looks like there will be a friendly against North Geelong up in Shepparton in a few weeks, which makes me think that there now familiar yearly pre-season week up Shepparton will also be taking place this year.

2023 memberships and season tickets
They're now available, with no change in price. But also we're probably going to have two fewer games at Lakeside, so it's a kind of price rise? Stop complaining, just buy one.

AGM
What's an AGM?

More South Poles
It looks like we've signed a new goalkeeper, one Ben Ratajczak from Western Australia. You would think he would be the back up the league's reigning goalkeeper of the year.

Calgary, again!
Former South player Jesse Daley has left Brisbane Roar, and signed for Calgary's Cavalry FC We brng this up not only because we wish certain former players well, but to also note the minor trivia that he will be the second former South player to play at Cavalry, after Oliver Minatel.