Kiss of Death, Round 6, 2013

Oakleigh Cannons vs Dandenong Thunder @ Jack Edwards @ 8.30pm Friday
Oakleigh has hired Miron Bleiberg as its interim coach according to media reports. It just didn’t work out with the previous coach whose name I do not know. Oakleigh has been struggling bad. You all know it, that’s why they are sitting in ninth position. Dandenong Thunder rolls on in fifth position, but won’t be able to do enough at Oakleigh. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Dandenong Thunder 0.

Saints celebrated on Friday are Andronikos, Androdniki, Iounia and Solon. Get that fish ready!

Pascoe Vale vs Bentleigh Greens @ Pascoe Vale @ 8.30pm Friday
I was probably the only person on the planet who tipped Pascoe last week. I laughed all the way to my online betting account! In this seventh vs third clash, I think that Bentleigh will shell shock Pascoe with a big score. Bentleigh are pretty fluent in how they do things. Pascoe Vale 0 – Bentleigh Greens 4.

Richmond vs Port Melbourne Sharks @ KB Reserve @ 8.30pm Friday
Richmond looked good last week for at least 50 minutes or so. They should’ve parked the bus. Instead they let South do what they wanted. This week they will be successful in their endeavours against sixth placed Port Melbourne. Rumour has it that Victorian coaching legend Takis Svigos is being teed up to take Eric’s job at Port. I hope this happens. I tipped it! Richmond 3 – Port Melbourne Sharks 1.

Hume City vs South Melbourne @ Hume @ 3pm Sunday
This week South visits Hume. Can’t wait for my yearly fix of Gazoza (do they have gazoza? I thought that Dandy - Ed.). That in itself should be interesting. After trailing Richmond 0-2 at Lakeside last week, one could only have flashbacks of last year's poor home results. South was poor for 50 or so minutes. Yeah OK, Richmond was sitting deep, but how about some creative attacking South? Instead we had to sit there and witness crosses going to no-one, ball being shifted left-right-left-right, and long balls from Kelly going absolutely nowhere. It was obvious they weren’t going to move out of their half until the 46th minute, yet we kept doing a big fuck all. Their biggest weakness was the centre of the park. Instead of exploiting this, we kept trying to go down the wings. Every fucken corner was hit onto the keeper, we were pulling stupid fouls, and our creativity up front was woeful. Then came the 0-2 which sparked us into action. One of the Queenslanders pulls a rabbit out of the hat with a semi-overhead, then he gets a second, then we get a third. Andy ‘pappou’ Vlahos came on at the right time. Gus decided, to the shock of the crowd, to make a sub before the 80th minute. That my friends, was a masterstroke. Pappou came on and turned Richmond's defence on its head. His mazy run for one of the goals and pretty crap shot requiring the keeper to parry, put us I think to 2-2 (3-2 actually - Ed.). I kinda forgot how we scored and when because I was too busy talking shit to the rest of my South friends. Anyhoo, the question is, have we used our ‘get out of jail’ card too early this season? Should we have used it? Richmond hasn’t won a game, yet they come to South and nearly get a win. Defensively with Brad ‘plasma’ Norton at left back we look very weak. He got skinned alive for Richmond's second. Kelly needs to stop those long balls to no one and nowhere, and just play it simple. We are missing Kearney. He is a key for us this season, and we miss that dog midfielder. We won’t have a problem disposing of Hume. If my two year theory is correct, we enjoy compact grounds, rather than our big one. Hume City 0 – South Melbourne 3.

Melbourne Knights vs Southern Stars @ Knights Stadium @ 3pm Sunday
Melbourne Knights entertain dead and buried Southern Stars on Sunday. Should be a goal fest. The only decent player at Stars is the young keeper Koc. Excellent talent. Expect a goal fest if you can beat him. Melbourne Knights 5 – Southern Stars 0.

Northcote City vs Green Gully Cavaliers @ Northcote @ 3pm Sunday
Northcote seem to be galloping away with this year's championship. Playing really good by all accounts. Gully on the other hand are languishing in tenth position. Methinks the players are waiting for Dobbo to come back before they start playing again. How much time does Hennessy have? Northcote City 2 – Green Gully Cavaliers 0.

The FFV, National Premier Leagues and You

This post was submitted to us by one of our readers, a passionate, non-South Melbourne affiliated supporter of the game. The contributor has been involved in football for most of his life, as a player, volunteer and committee member. While we may disagree on certain issues, I have never doubted his passion and sincerity on all matters related to soccer in this state. South of the Border would like to thank the writer for their contribution, and I hope that that the readers of this blog enjoy this piece.


Why we must see this restructure for what it is
Two years ago, the Football Federation of Australia (FFA) announced a National Competitions Review (NCR) with a view to bring all top-tier state-competitions more or less in line with each other. They later announced the National Premier League, unveiling a flash new logo with David Gallop in tow for a photo opportunity. The NPL has already kicked off in Queensland, New South Wales, Tasmania, the ACT and in South Australia (see here for state-specific information).

I'm not going to go into the differences between each state and their pros and cons - the bottom line is that these National Premier Leagues are 'what the FFA envisage as the future 'B-League' - or platform for promotion and relegation into the A-league. The fact that it doesn't state that fact or purpose in any of the proposed or accepted frameworks for the NPL should have alarm bells ringing.

Football Federation Victoria, the FFA-recognised organiser and promoter of the round-ball game in the state of Victoria has unfortunately, lost its way. So much water has passed under the bridge since the heyday of George Wallace and Michael Weinstein that it had me wondering recently if this was the vision they had for football in Victoria.

Let's quickly look at the NPL Victoria Criteria. The two key operational documents pertaining to the NPLV are the Participation Criteria and the Participation Licence. The Participation Criteria stipulate the process for which a club/franchise/other body will be admitted into the NPLV, while the Participation Licence outlines the more operational rules that will be enforced once the league gets off the ground.

The FFV Board of Directors announced the NPLV criteria at the end of April giving clubs just over a month-long window in which to fully research the ramifications of the NPLV, organise an Extraordinary General Meeting of all members and to submit an expression of interest form. Kind of gun-to-the-head stuff when you take into account that this is historically, other than the VASFA/VSF split in the early 1960s, the biggest restructure this game potentially will go through. Irresponsible?Unorganised? Deceitful? You decide.

The next step in the application process is to consult the 'NPLV Subject Matter Expert Contact List'. The alarming point about this is the distinct lack of real-world, on the ground knowledge among those lucky souls to be dubbed 'Experts'. I dare say that this is the fruit of shutting clubs out of the moulding process that was the NCR, relegating them to a checkbox in their 'Stakeholder Engagement' process. More alarming is the fact that every single one of the people listed are currently employees of the FFV who are meant to be fulfilling their duties to the clubs that pay for a level of service. I am of course referring here to the exorbitant, extortionist-like FFV imposed affiliation fees on clubs to enable them to compete in a league.

At the basic level, the FFV provides insurance for players and officials, fixturing and referees. That is the basic level of service that clubs demand and even then at the highest level they are unable to get referees on time, fixtures confirmed, wrong results entered into 'Sporting Pulse'... the list goes on. Instead the clubs receive services that are actually in competition with services the clubs offer. Club-funded FFV programs such as the NTC, Victory Youth and Women's teams are only the surface issues. Does anyone ask themselves what their full time employees do day-to-day? Have a look at the contact list and see for yourself the top-heavy organisation the FFV has set themselves up to be. Yet you have publications like GoalWeekly having to adapt to a non-Victorian specific market that was actually servicing the clubs, competitions and interests of all 'stakeholders (I hate that word) in a more than satisfactory manner. A few home truths printed about the FFV will get your funding pulled. Fair enough. At least they were principled in their approach and weren't bought off like so many other media outlets.

Clubs this year, more than any other, have felt a distinct lack of service over any other year. Well, now you know why - we are financing them to introduce a structure that is going to kill our heritage, our future and everything associated with it. Clubs don't even get their results in the paper on a Monday morning anymore, yet some obscure table tennis league played at Coburg Pools across the road from Pentridge can get a full results listing.

A packed Quarry Hill - will we ever see such a sight again?

Let's call a spade a spade. The FFV is inept. They are running the game in the interests of the FFV (commercial interests) and not in the interests of the game as a participation sport and another key 'stakeholder' they have forgotten about as a spectator sport. Had a look at SportingPulse recently? Or at the FFV email signatures? Both have had major edits to include an advertisement, yes a shameless plug – Get your NPLV application done before the 31st of this month! Shameful.

It is not a coincidence that crowds have declined dramatically in the last 7-8 years. The FFV in all its cunning, got through the biggest constitutional reform ever seen in Victoria where all the bigger (read: majority vote holding) Victorian clubs were asleep at the wheel and signed over all of their voting rights to the 'faceless ones', the zone representatives and chairmen of five standing committees. It was from here that they did and continue to do what they please. Exorbitant fines, concentrating on peripheral issues, being in competition with clubs these are only the small issues that every fan who has turned away from the FFV has felt on their own skin. Whether they will return is another issue, but the fact is that the FFV have a track record for being out of touch.

This brings us to our next point. Upon successful entry the applicant will have to sign a licence agreement. They have set themselves up as the organisation that gives out licences, meaning that they can just as easily take them away. That is the legal premise of a licence over a lease or affiliation agreement. The licence period has been listed as three years without promotion and relegation. This flies in the face of healthy competition and breeds mediocrity. Don't forget to nominate your three 'preferred' playing names (club/identity) to the FFV for ratification in your NPLV submission.

This is seriously beyond a joke and I haven't even touched on other contentious issues such as the Player Points System (PPS), recruitment zoning and intellectual property rights demarcation between the competition and clubs.

Juniors

An Applicant cannot enter senior or junior teams (including small sided football teams) in FFV community competitions. It can and should be encouraged to train the best junior players through a SAP or Academy program to prevent NPLV clubs from decimating community clubs of their best players at this level and also give community clubs a road or pathway for those players. Applicants are encouraged to include details of any such SAP program in its application.

Take from this direct quote what you will, but the bottom line is for clubs to be part of the NPLV, they must field a minimum and maximum of one team per age group in the boys competition (under 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18) whilst also fielding under 13, 15 and 18s in the girls competition, while also fielding a men's under 20s and men's and women's seniors. For example if you have four under 9s teams they will no longer play under you. They are effectively out on the street with smaller clubs, which probably don't have the facilities to accommodate them in the first place. They now have to pick up the slack.

This NPLV is envisaged to be 'the' development league for aspiring youngsters wanting to get into the A-League and overseas. Nowhere does it mention driving crowds to games or getting in corporate sponsorship dollars to offset the very real possibility of a large deficit when you take into account the coaching situation. Clubs must appoint a Technical Director who reports quarterly to the State's Technical Director Sean Douglas. The shortage of licenced coaches in Victoria is very real.

Courtesy of the FFV Memes Facebook page.

Those lucky enough to have such accreditation already have on the face of it, less real-world experience than the Peter Tsolakis and Andrew Marths of the world. They have rightfully been ignored by the top-level Victorian clubs for decades for being 'paper' coaches whilst they will now find themselves in a position of favour in getting well paying jobs under this new system. Will the 9 or so A-Licence coaches currently in Victoria demand less than $50 an hour? Translating into a simple calculation of training 5 nights a week for two hours plus a game totalling a weekly spend of $600 a week? What about the team's mandatory assistant and goalkeeper coach? This drives up the already high costs of playing soccer in Australia. All for an unproven system not tried, tested or established anywhere in the world. For the first time in Australian soccer history, we have now become smarter than the rest of the world without the results to back up such assertions. This has time-bomb written all over it.

Club fees for juniors are capped at $1700 for each player. Working off these figures it remains to be seen how clubs can offer the level of service expected by the FFV with accredited senior coaches, assistants and their goalkeeping instructors. Forget about pricing in the sports trainers, physios and doctors a prospective NPLV club will have to employ as part of the FFV's over-the-top scheme. Don't expect the NPLV clubs to be 'elite' in all senses of the word. The climate in Victoria more than likely doesn't demand such high standards in the first instance. Secondly, should the NPLV get off the ground, corners will be chamfered at every stomach-churning hook turn. How will 'elite' clubs afford a good level of apparel for their players considering their budget? No adidas or Nike for them. We'll go with Jako or Best n' Less.

In line with FFV's enforced constitutional changes upon clubs, new NPLV entities will have to recognise “all its key stakeholders...as members under its Constitution including registered players, coaches, administrators and volunteers." No longer are club members the people that actually pay a membership subscription, now you have employees of the club (players and coaches) having a say in the club's direction. For me this is not in the spirit of the game. If players in general wish to be members of their clubs nothing prevents them from doing so - an annual subscription fee to the club which in the current VPL structure hovers at around $50 for voting rights.

There are so many rules and regulations that are simply not in the interests of clubs, their players and members, that they are too numerous to mention. From business plans, financial auditing (A successful Applicant must make available to FFV or FFA any financial information requested within 3 days of receiving notice of an inspection.) all the way through to commercial exclusivity and veto rights of the FFV.

Let's get to one of the main sticking points: Facilities.
The Open Men's side of the NPLV club must play out of a Class A facility. These facilities actually don't exist beyond a sprinkling of State League 2 sides. And we all already know that the overwhelming majority of VPL and State League 1 clubs have rejected the NPLV framework as unfeasible. So where will these Class A facilities come from? Will the FFV gloss over their own rules stipulating minimum facilities as they have in the past? Will government invest in prospective NPLV club facilities?

Green Gully, one of Victoria's leading clubs, is not in favour of the NPLV.

The FFV have already been told in no uncertain terms what councils think of the proposed NPLV. Oakleigh and Green Gully have already been informed by their local councils that should they apply, they will lose exclusivity of their facilities. So where are they going to get these 'two clubs per zone' to constitute a competitive NPLV? In the western zone, the zone with probably the most registered players and clubs they have already hit a major bump in the road. The two highest ranked clubs, Melbourne Knights and Green Gully aren't looking to enter. So who has a Class A facility in the western suburbs that is willing to roll the dice? St. Albans, Altona Magic or Point Cook in State League 5? But alas, the FFV has made it clear that they will redraw its zonal boundaries to accommodate whoever applies to the NPLV.

Nowhere has the FFV mentioned that they have secured a multi-million dollar sponsor to run this league. Nowhere have they mentioned how they will drive attendances to games. Are they content in having a glorified under 25s competition? Definitely. Thus far their attitude towards the 'bigger' for want of a better word, more experienced top level clubs, has been, 'we don't care who we get, as long as we get them.' So far the two clubs that have publicly stated that they will apply are Surf Coast FC and Ballarat Red Devils. All well and good, but to be brutally honest, neither has the financial backing or experience to run an 'Elite' club, competition or teams.

This is the core of the problem. Taking away all other issues and contentions, the FFV is hell bent on ramming this reform down the throats of those expected to implement it. Clubs must take on all of the risk while the FFV take all the plaudits should it get off the ground. If it doesn't it will be the fault of the clubs.

The Community Leagues
Let's have a look at the alternative, the derogatorily dubbed 'community leagues'. Where is the criteria for these leagues you ask? Well... FFV haven't figured that out. What has been confirmed to clubs off the record is that the FFV will only run one semi-professional league in 2014. That will be the NPLV. State League 1 as we know it will be an all-amateur affair with clubs unable to register players as professionals.

When a club representative asked this question last week, the FFV replied that they will do all it takes to protect the NPLV. What that means in real terms remains to be seen but I'll give you my cynical opinion. The FFV will do exactly what they stated. Clubs will have no professional players that they will be able to demand compensation for. State League 1 will be dissected into North, South, East and Western zones to further dilute the quality of that competition. They might also remove the club's right to charge entry at the gate for senior games and parking.

I'm not against any club having their time in the sun, but the way that used to be done always ensured that clubs with community support worked their way through the levels, learned what it takes to run a club at each level and progressed organically. These days we have these queue jumpers that see this NPLV as a ticket to the top. To be honest, they can have their ticket.

What is for sure though is that the VPL and State League 1 clubs that will be brushed aside to the scrapheap of great FFV ideas (remember FootballAce?) will not take this lying down. Over seven centuries of combined history in the VPL alone does not count for nothing, no matter how often they bang their head against the wall and put us down to believe that we should be ashamed of the players that Victoria collectively produced under the 'old' system (it worked) compared to now. Apparently we're holding the game back or something?

What is important is that if you're heading along to your club's EGM to vote on joining the NPLV - vote a resounding NO. You never know what opportunity awaits around the corner.

And at the end of my rant I realise that I haven't adequately covered each document that I said I would. Unfortunately such is the passion against these reforms I find it difficult to calm my emotions; such is the game of football for those that truly love it and have its best interests at heart.

The FFV have lost touch with the football world, they have poisoned the well from which we all draw from and charge us accordingly for an inferior product. We will stand up for what is just even if it is unpopular. The South Melbournes, the Melbourne Knights', The Sunshine George Cross' and the Heidelberg Uniteds of this world still have some fight left in them.

Say NO to the NPLV.

NPL Victoria - damned if you do, damned if you don't?

This is the first part of a two part look at the FFV's NCR/National Premier League reforms. The second part, written anonymously by one one of readers, will follow soon. I'm hoping that together these pieces will perform a sort of complimentary function, looking at this major issue from different angles.


This wasn't an easy post to write. A larger part of that is because I admittedly don't know much about junior development, nor do I really care too much about it either. Call it a massive blind spot on my part, and I'll agree with you 100%. It's not easy for me to write this post also, because I like to think of myself as open-minded on these issues. Maybe I'm kidding myself. Maybe I like playing devil's advocate too much. Maybe I'm longing for a different hell to this one.

I recall that last year, when I went to the FFV's information evening for the Central Zone, there were five of us from the general public in the room. There were a rep each from Port Melbourne and Box Hill, Alex Alexopoulos of South Melbourne Womens FC, and myself and Gains. I wanted to attend to give the benefit of the doubt to the FFV, or at least hear what they were proposing in their own words. I did intend to write about it here, but life got in the way. I do remember wondering at the time whether Rendell would make it to see the start of this program - he didn't. I also remember rolling my eyes at several claims that the FFV were making, but also at how South would be able to implement this program.

So I've decided to look at it from what I see as South's point of view, rather than as the view of all clubs, the majority of clubs, or even those who choose to support the NPLV. This is not to say that this position should be taken as endorsement or otherwise. I can already tell this doesn't bode well when I've started with this many disclaimers.

Application Process
We still have to wait and see who actually puts in an expression of interest, and who actually then follows it up with a full scale application to join. There is always the concern among the Victorian soccer hoi polloi that many of the decision makers in this case have never run clubs in their lives. Are the FFV's expectations therefore completely out of kilter with what the clubs can actually produce? Can a club with a culture and history focused mostly on male football successfully run female football? Like it or not, women's football has a very different culture to male football. That may or may not be changing, but the fact that one is still spectator oriented at the top and the other is still participant oriented necessitates a difference of culture.

Why then is there not the leeway being given to let clubs that are good at what they do keep doing it, without making them do things they aren't good at? While I am all for the bigger clubs especially being more active in promoting women's football, doesn't that by necessity lead to the exclusion or downgrading of those teams who have been better at promoting women's football for the last two or three decades?

The Licence Period
A three year commitment, with the option of a three year extension at the end of that. No teams allowed to enter outside of the initial licensees inside that first three year period. It's a massive commitment, without much clue about what happens if enough teams drop out to create a non-viable competition. Too much hubris methinks from the FFV on this part, considering the failure to get any new independent consortia going over the summer league's lifespan - which is a point I brought up last year during their consultation process. This what they had to say on the matter:

FFV will work with all interested applicants to assist them in submitting their applications. At this stage we are confident we will have sufficient quality applications to form a viable competition.

Which doesn't actually answer the question. From the FFV's own admission, it appears that some prospective regional applicants have serious concerns about being able to field teams in all the age groups.

Identity and Names
What I can't figure out is, why is the FFV asking for three names from each applicant? Are the names clubs are using now not good enough? Fair enough if it's for some newborn entity created for this NPLV purpose, but what's wrong with South Melbourne FC? I don't buy their answer on their Facebook page that it's in the event that the junior committee of an NPLV club want to split off from their seniors and become a community club. Why do the see senior and junior wings of clubs as separate entities instead of as part of a larger whole?

The Teams
No surprises here, much as the FFV had put forward last year, mandatory male teams - one per age group from under 12s to under 20s, and an open age men's team - and four mandatory female teams, one of which is an open age team.

No small sided teams is a problematic issue for me. Not that most people who play juniors at a club end up supporting it in adult life, but this kills any possible renewal from the grassroots - players are there for a particular purpose, development, and when that ends, what's their reasons for still watching the club? It's no better than what we have now, under 21s players and their parents who won't stick around to watch the seniors.

These clubs in the NPLV will become something closer to the AFL's Victorian development pathway, an assembly line of 18 year olds. The difference there is, it's all funded by the AFL. The other difference is that these AFL teams don't go all the way down in age groups. As suspected, the FFV has attempted a power grab, while placing all the costs - players, training, coaches, registration, marketing - and all the risks, onto the clubs.

There seems to have been one temporary compromise made with regards to the player points salary cap, where the open men's division will start with a cap of 275 points before being phased down to 200 over a period of three seasons. This is similar to what has happened in New South Wales. It will be interesting, as has been noted by a few, whether the PFA will ark up about it. So far, as far as I can tell, they've not made any noises about this system, which will disadvantage older members of their union. But maybe they don't care about state league players?

While I've been one of the few proponents of the implementation of a player points system - with or without an NPLV system attached to it - I feel this will slant it too much towards younger players - they could have been more flexible on the matter, and left it at higher points cap. Still, it's not one of my major issues with this. An easy place to start would have been on restricting the use of visa players, and I'm not sure why moves towards implementing such a restriction haven't happened yet.

Financial Auditing
The one area where I have next to no reservations about our club's compliance ability, though there would still be challenges to meet. Not sure if I could say the same for a lot of other teams though. Having said that, considering that the FFV made an $800,000 loss last season - and blamed it on a reduction in fines - who are they to start dictating to clubs about fiscal responsibility and due diligence?

Venues and facilities
Considering the very short supply of sports fields across Melbourne in particular, I'm interested in knowing where new consortia will get grounds from. Sure, those using the existing facilities of a multi-club consortium might have several options (there's a whole range of issues to do with that, but that's for them to sort out), but completely new fangled groups? If some of the stories out there are to be believed - including the possibly defamatory ones involving the FFV's council liaison person - then some local councils aren't necessarily too happy with this NPL stuff, as it's not conducive to maximising use of their venues. What has that got to do with South you may ask? Well, we use venues across several council areas. We've already had North Caulfield quite unhappy with the fact we have a ground in the City of Glen Eira because of our takeover of the old Caulfield. Could this be used as leverage to get us evicted?

Intellectual Property
More troubling is why the FFV is seeking to control or share the intellectual property of the clubs, changing the current arrangement. It might be a trivial thing for them, but considering the way they have treated their own intellectual property, such as the Dockerty Cup, it doesn't inspire much confidence. I'm no lawyer though, so I'm not sure if this is standard professional sport boilerplate. Either way, the club must fight tooth and nail to maintain control if its intellectual property - including its media productions.

Recruitment and Zoning
I can understand the FFV's desire for more regional representation, and especially development pathways for kids in those areas - we've referred to that issue here and there. Of course there are issues with it - the travel component for regional teams, should they get anything like the amount of teams the FFV wants, will be much more onerous than the relatively truncated summer league season. And I wonder who's going to be responsible for paying that.

I'm not convinced by zoning either for metropolitan areas. I don't see the benefit and I don't see the point. Clubs should be able to choose the best players from wherever they want, and from whoever wants to play for them. Most other states are not using a zone system. While the FFV has made the argument that NSW doesn't have to do this because of the Northern New South Wales league, there's still no zone system within the metro districts. Indeed for several years the NSWPL did try to adhere to a version of a zone system, but abandoned it because strong senior mens clubs were being excluded and being replaced by weaker interests from other areas.

Maybe they just didn't wait long enough for the zones to become fixed in people's minds? Then again, the FFV doesn't even know yet what the zones will look like.

We are flexible as to the number of clubs per zone but we need to see who applies for a licence before finalising the recruitment boundaries.

Which considering the effort they've gone to mandate these zone systems - including butchering the flawed but fixable super league system, and the farce of messing up the cup draw several times based on the zones they drew up - is a total crock.

In addition, nine months after being asked the question, there's no new information as to how the proposed A-League academies will be integrated into this system. Just that 'more discussion needs to be had on this topic'. That's not good enough. From where and how will they be allowed to recruit players from? If they're allowed to recruit from anywhere - and that's the assumption I'm going with - doesn't that disadvantage the other NPLV clubs?

What the South board needs to tell the members
If the club is still interested in joining this project, it has some explaining and a lot of convincing to do - unless it of course manages to win by appealing to the junior parent constituency, which now has representation and suffrage at our club.

• Since under this scheme, the FFV is only allowing fees of up to $1,700 (not including GST), how is the club going to make up the shortfall of $1,400 per child based on its current $3,200 program cost?
• How will the club demonstrate the separation of junior costs to senior ones?
• Why should we be asked to give up our intellectual property to the FFV?
• Demand that our IP is ours in perpetuity, especially in the event that we enter the NPLV and then withdraw.
• What the risks to the club short and longer term, for both sides of the ledger. And no sugarcoating please.
• Why the club failed to win the concessions it thought it could from the FFV.
• Show us the three year business plan if they choose to go through with this.
• How will it impact on the facilities we use, considering we access venues across several municipalities - and will they be happy if they are not being used to the capacity local councils are increasingly looking for?
• And we haven't even discussed what the hell is happening with our years long dispute with South Melbourne Women's FC. 

Part of the problem is that the clubs still haven't learned to work together. And while it's easy to point the finger at South as being the key intransigent party in this case, how does petty behaviour such as Oakleigh's cup forfeit - and its associated media and intra-club match antics - help build that trust? If the FFV is being accused of not listening and not responding to club concerns, I'm interested in learning how much the clubs actually did in terms of trying to get information. It seems like some clubs, for better or worse, did try to engage with the FFV on this reform process. I'm not so sure about a lot of others though.

In any case, I can't see the South board being able to convince the majority of its long term supporters to back this plan. It's hard even for me to back this plan, certainly not without very detailed evidence of how we are going to both comply with these regulations and maintain our social integrity as a club.

Additionally, if the board expects the parents of the children currently in our youth system, who are now able to vote on club matters, to support this, they might need to think again. If they live outside the designated zone (however the FFV decide to draw it up), they won't be allowed to be a part of the set up. For parents with children that would participate in small sided games, they would also be ousted. And unlike in NSW, where it appears that you can at least set up an affiliate club for social youth football, on the surface of it the rules here seem to be tighter and less ambiguous - and more open to allowing a junior team to split from its senior wing.

The net result seems to be that if we enter this competition, we'll be doing all the 'right' things and making the 'right' noises, but we'll in all likelihood have the soul ripped out of the club, and all this after fighting tooth and nail to keep it alive. If we don't get into this thing, and it somehow manages to get started and become even a feint success, we'll be dumped into a regional competition undoing much of our good work, devaluing the status of the club even further.

It's a complicated matter, because a lot of garbage is put into the mix. There are deluded souls who put all the blame onto the FFV for the way that the VPL has gone. While the FFV have had their part to play in all this, the decline of the VPL is not an isolated phenomenon. Most second tier sport has declined over the past 30 years. Look at what has become of the VFA. Which makes it all the more ludicrous that people are thinking that crowds will flock to a breakaway league or the community league which will theoretically have a better standard of play. Because you know, Green Gully vs Southerns Stars on a cold and windy Saturday afternoon is a marketer's dream - if only we knew how to promote this damn game!

This loss of culture coincides with a standardisation of the product of junior development. The fact that it is a product instead of a cultural experience is paramount. Instead of having different styles of coaching and club culture, the FFV (and the FFA) are trying to mandate a homogenisation of development. One of the more amazing things about the old clubs, at least the way that I remember it, is that each club had a different philosophy and playing culture. Those points of difference, that plurality, that volatility of the unexpected is now under serious threat. And to do away with that multiplicity of cultures, all for the sake of trying to create a winter version of the failed summer leagues, just seems callous to me.

Let's End This on a Lighthearted Note
Chances are we'll probably be in the A-League this coming season or the next one at the latest, so all this discussion is probably moot.

The Thing That Would Not Die - South Melbourne 3 Richmond 2

What a week. Even if it was only in the world of pretend - and who knows where reality ends and fantasy begins at South Melbourne - it was nice to feel like we were genuinely alive again, instead of pretending that we weren't only marking time.

So after so much A-League ambition nonsense, it was time to actually play a game. First home game of the season after a month away and an Oakleigh forfeit, and according to Chinese whispers going around the ground, even the FFA and Michael Lynch were there. Sadly, I could not verify that either of those was true. Regardless of these the truthiness of these facts, this was the kind of occasion where we usually balls it up. And when Richmond scored their second goal early in the second half, it looked like it'd happened again.

Indeed at 0-2 down I had people yammering away that this was like the Southern Stars debacle last year, I however unusually had the feeling that if we could somehow manage to pinch a quick goal, we'd have a good shot at getting the win, or at the very least a point. Tyson Holmes' overhead goal was as good a way as any to get back into the game. A goal mouth scramble saw the ball bounce high, and you could see the scenario set itself up, see Holmes intent to try it even before perhaps he knew it himself. It looked perhaps more spectacular than it was, the shot just looping into the back of the net, but they all count the same. And when in future times, we'll let fallible memory make it a screamer from the edge of the 18 yard box that no one could have saved.

The 2-2 goal was more regulation. A Brad Norton cross, a header, a goal, Holmes with his second. Have I mentioned that it seems like we've been sending in a lot more crosses this season? It eventually paid off. The third goal was less classic, but just as important. Andy Vlahos, who came on after the second goal replacing Joe Keenan, made himself a nuisance from the get go. After an earlier sideways pass across bamboozled the Richmond defense - and unfortunately the South players who should have done better with the shot - Vlahos found himself free thanks possibly to quick work by the ballboy. His shot was parried by the keeper straight into the path of Rhys Meredith, deflecting off him into the goal.

The rest of the game saw us mostly control the tempo, and thwart a couple more attempts by Richmond to pinch a late equaliser. There are problems. Obvious problems. We look vulnerable out wide. There were communicating issues. I suppose some would counter balance that by saying we also look dangerous on the wings. Perhaps I expect too much from part time footballers. We also miss Alan Kearney's control of the midfield. But we're scoring goals, and thus far winning a lot more games than not, so let's save the complaining until we collapse in a heap mid-season.

Ball Boys
Now I'm all for them being out there and doing their job, but someone has to give them a little bit of instruction, lest I end up having to yell instructions from the back of the grandstand to them again and end up looking like more of a twat than I already do. Here's how it should be.

If we're in front:

• Unless we need more goals for goal difference, or if it will enable our player to take advantage of a slack defense, give the ball back to our players slowly. 
• Don't give the ball back quickly to the opposition. Maybe act like it slipped out of your hands, make it bounce a few times.

If we're behind:

• Give our players the ball quickly.
• Give the opposition the ball quickly

Very simple. They seemed to sort themselves out by the end, which was good to see. But this was no thanks to Gus Tsolakis though, who tried to play up the sportsmanship angle by giving the ball back quickly to Richmond when they were behind. What were you thinking man!

Most of these clubs don't have ball boys. Some even take delays because of balls going onto the freeway as a normal part of the game. We must take advantage of this as much as possible.

You Got To Know When To Hold 'Em
After we'd well and truly started our comeback, you had more than one wit ask Richmond coach Grant Brebner how multi-bet was going.

Long Time No See
After the game, on my way down the stairs, someone called out to me. It wasn't one of my usual acquaintances. In fact I thought my eyes were deceiving me. It was my cousin George. Growing up, George had been as passionate as any South fan that I knew. He had taken me to a few NSL games (such as this one against Perth Glory - he should have taken me to more, but that's a long and complicated story). Like many others, he'd pitched in to help fund the construction of Lakeside after our move from Middle Park.

And then the NSL ended, and things changed. Whenever I saw him – and my family being the way it is, I was lucky to see him once a year – soccer talk revolved around Greek soccer, the EPL, maybe the A-League. After professing to going to Victory games, he thought it quaint that people were still going to South, that I was still going. In what could only come across as patronising, he said it was nice that people were still keeping the club going, even if most people had moved on.

Being a South fan in the situation we've found ourselves in, my reaction was quite predictable. I was angry. I felt insulted. How could someone who'd professed such love for the club now write off that experience as nothing more than being there for the sake of supporting soccer? When the club had given him so much – being 10 years older than me, he would have seen every national title that we won – could he not repay that with, if not attendance and memberships, than at least the courtesy of not re-writing his own history?

And on Sunday, as I took my usual spot up the back of the grandstand, he was there, about 15 rows further down in the same bay, with one of his sons, watching South come from 2-0 down for a 3-2 win. We chatted for a bit, these things always being harder than they should be. He said he'd be back, and while I certainly hope he will, the fact that he came back at all speaks volumes to me about the true place of the club in his heart. After all, he said as much himself.

Maybe I've been too harsh and too dogmatic on this front.

Steve from Broady's Under 21s Report
South Melbourne's under 21s were back in action on Sunday afternoon returning to Lakeside Stadium for the first time in 2013, to take on last season's champions the Richmond Eagles. Trent Rixon and Tom Matthews both remained in the 21s after Peter Tsolakis deemed both players still not 100% fit. South Melbourne were looking to bounce back after the poor showing in the previous round. Sebit Muon found himself on the bench after scoring last week, a decision that raised a few eyebrows. The game started off very slow and it took South ten minutes to kick into gear. In the 13th minute South whipped the ball into the mixer for a towering Trent Rixon to head home and give South a 1-0 lead and that it stayed like that for the rest of an uneventful first half.

In the second half South come out firing and in the 49th minute Anthony Giannopoulos found himself one on one with the keeper. He rounded the keeper with ease and chipped the ball into the back of the net to give South a 2-0 lead. 20 minutes later Giannopoulos found himself in a great position inside the mixer but Rixon was unable to provide the magical cross that he had received in the first half. As the game drew to an end it started to become quite clear that Matthews was not having the best of games and maybe will need another week or two in the 21s until he gets his game back. The full time whistle went and South were 2-0 victors against last season;s champions and will march on with lots of confidence next week against Hume City away until then GET AROUND IT!

Steve from Broady's Canteen Review
Sunday saw South Melbourne's food truck in the spotlight for the first time in 2013. The score system for South Melbourne home games will be as follows. A score each week will be all put together and averaged out to give South's food truck a final score to rank them in the 2013 VPL canteen championship table. I had a souvlaki and was not too impressed. It was very dry and cost $10. Later on in the day I had a kransky; the price was a little better, but the quality of the food stayed the same. I rate week one of the South Melbourne food truck a 4.5/10. They will have 10 more chances to get their act together and get a magical Altona East style souv 10 pointer.

1. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
2. Southern Stars 2/10
3. Green Gully 1/10
4. Dandenong DQ

South food truck

Week 1 4.5

Jersey Night
My chips under parma issue at Beachcomber seems to have become semi-legendary. Anyway, the jersey night last week was very much like the jersey night last year. Same location, same food, a bit better fundraising. Not much to tell really.

Next Week
Hume away on Sunday. Haven't seen them play this season, but their form seems a bit all over the shop. I expect us to be tested though.

Final Thought
They played Zombie Nation after one of the goals went in. A fan and I talked about Time of the Season by The Zombies. Someone whose love for the club I assumed was dead was, at least for a little while, resurrected. Is there a theme emerging here?

Vale Tony Toumbourou

This was a bit of sad news. Toumbourou had reportedly been ill for quite some time. I never met the bloke, nor any one of his family, but the donation he made along with Chris Christopher when we were about go under in 2004 were critical in saving the club. Though that donation/loan became a contentious issue later on - far too many entries from last year to single out - hopefully that contribution is not forgotten by current and future generations of South supporters.

Kiss of Death, Round 5, 2013

Friday 10th May @ Bentleigh Greens @ 8:15pm
Bentleigh Greens vs Oakleigh Cannons
A derby somewhat. Second placed Bentleigh entertains eighth place Oakleigh. Bentleigh is looking good, and should be good enough to beat the Oakleigh Cannons. I watched Oakleigh against Southern Stars two weeks ago, and they were pretty bad. Lack of organisation in the back, no structure, no game plan, and instruction lacking from the bench. Bentleigh on the other hand is organised, has a structure, has a game plan, and gets plenty of instruction from the bench. A game of two very different teams. Bentleigh Greens 3 Oakleigh Cannons 1.

(P.S. Friday is St's Zisis, Zoi, Krini, Panagiotis, Panagiota, Simon, Simone, Paraskevi, and Paraskevas Day. I am expecting Oakleigh to not turn up, as they are all religious and shit. I am also expecting Bentleigh to have fish on the menu as it's Friday, and if they want to sell anything to the Oakleigh fans, then have fish, because they don't eat meat on Friday).

Friday 10th May @ Port Melbourne @ 8:30pm
Port Melbourne Sharks vs Northcote City
Port Melbourne is sitting in fourth, yet they haven't really played anyone of note. Northcote is top of the table unbeaten, and have had a comfy run so far. This will be a test for Northcote and they will most likely drop points. Both teams are playing someone for a change and should be an entertaining encounter. Port Melbourne 2 Northcote City 2.

Saturday 11th May @ Dandenong Thunder @ 3pm
Dandenong Thunder vs Hume City
Seventh placed Dandy have sixth placed Hume this weekend at George Andrews. Boring. Dandy Thunder 2 Hume City 1

Saturday 11th May @ Green Gully @ 3pm
Green Gully vs Melbourne Knights
Green Gully who are ninth, play the fifth placed Melbourne Knights. Both teams are a rabble at the moment. Probably the hardest one to pick. I wouldn't put my money on this one. Gully is up and down, and the Knights lack leadership. The fish rots from the head, I heard someone saying at Northcote once. You know what to do. You know who I'm talking to. Green Gully 1 Melbourne Knights 2.

Saturday 11th May @ Southern Stars @ 6pm
Southern Stars vs Pascoe Vale
Relegation derby. 11th v 10th. Already these two teams are playing to avoid relegation. I have no interest whatsoever in this one. More like a FML, do I need to talk about it? Southern Stars 0 Pascoe Vale 4.

Sunday 12th May @ Lakeside Stadium @ 5pm
South Melbourne vs Richmond
Match of the round by far. South Melbourne is cruising in third place, while Richmond have replaced their coach with Grant Brebner and are languishing bottom of the table in 12th. This result is a 'gimme' for South. Fucken seriously, if we don't wipe the floor with these muppets, we should shut the doors. I expect, and shall receive a Mothers Day Massacre down at Lakeside. On that note, very strange the game is scheduled on Mothers Day. Why would anyone do such a thing? I don't have much to say about Richmond. I have been reading Steve from Broady's canteen reviews, and if your team is as shit as your food, then fucken LOL. The five or so fans you have might as well stay home. South Melbourne 8 - Richmond 0.

SMFC TV to cover A-League bid shenanigans tonight

Cripes, normally I forget to tune into the channel 31 show, but it might be worth checking it out tonight. Apparently board members Tom Kalas and Andrew Mesorouni will be on the show to discuss the Melbourne Heart takeover shenanigans. I'm sure those of our supporters who love to stir the pot on the FourFourTwo forums will be keeping an eye on this for more trolling material. You know who you are.

On Australian soccer's multicultural paradox

We normally never visit The Roar wesbite, let alone promote it, but Joe Gorman's piece South Melbourne saga shows the divisions in our football family is certainly worth a look, and not just because I spent a lot of years peddling much the same arguments on several forums. Gorman looks like an Australian soccer writer worth watching.

Mark Bosnich gives us the thumbs up - but should we actually care?

A whole two years ago now, we had a jersey presentation night at Kinisi. Among the guests on the footballing panel was that was a part of the event, was one Mark Bosnich, of Socceroos, Aston Villa, Manchester United, Chelsea, cocaine, down and out followed by rebirth as the rehabilitated crazy thing on his head, stupid laugh and tell it like it is pundit on Fox Sports soccer coverage.

Back then, whatever my opinion was of what he was saying, at least it seemed like he actually believed in it, and wasn't trying to pander to our la la land hopes of getting back into the top-flight. Here's what I noted as the gist of what he said about that issue back then:

Unlike Les Murray in the past, Mark Bosnich at least had the courtesy not to humour our delusions of grandeur, by being unapologetic about his and/or the FoxSports team's stance that change was necessary in the game and that we should be relegated to the toxic waste dump of Australian football.

Though he did not use the phrase 'toxic waste dump of Australian football', his message was pretty damn clear: South, and clubs like South, had had their time in the sun, but everyone else had moved on, and it was time we did, too. No offense, you still have good tradition and that.

Two years on, and his opinion seems to have softened on the matter somewhat.



The person who posted this video has called it an endorsement of our A-League ambitions. I wouldn't go that far myself. But Bosnich goes further in this piece on the Fox Sports site.

How did he get from his previous line of thinking on the matter, to where he is now? Two years ago he would have politely knocked this on the head. But now when talking about our great tradition, he's not pushing us aside as yesterday's news, but claiming that we actually have something to offer.

To be honest, it's all a bit confusing. And we don't even have a game this weekend to take our minds off this rubbish.

Oakleigh forfeit cup match

As seen here. And as demanded by the Kiss of Death, here.

So South get a 3-0 forfeit result in their favour, and porgress to the next round of cthe cup. And for the second season ina  row, Orthodox Easter sees Oakleigh forfeit matches. Last year it was their juniors who had all their matches forfeited, much to the annoyance of certain parents at that club. Club of their convictions at least.

Nice to know that the family day is still going ahead, memberships and merchandise avilable for pick up and purchase.

Crazy over capitalised press release on recent SMFC/Melbourne Heart argle bargle

Poorly phrased as well I reckon. Also, these people seem determined to both steal the Kiss of Death's thunder and interrupt my dinner this week. 

MEDIA RELEASE

Following yesterday’s media reports on SBS World Game Fox Sports and Statements made by the CEO of the Melbourne Heart.

South Melbourne FC wishes to confirm the following:

• South Melbourne FC that it made an offer to acquire 100% of the Melbourne Heart Licence.
• The offer was in excess of 3.5 million
• The offer was made after several discussions between Heart & SMFC Directors.
• South Melbourne FC has received an expression of interest from Emerson (Brazilian Legend) to coach & has already secured Major Sponsors for its A League ambitions.

Kiss of Death preview of round four Dockerty Cup match

In response to numerous abusive emails, I can assure my readers that I have not given up the KOD segment. Last week's hiatus was due to Anzac Day. Lest We Forget, but that’s one weekend I don’t gamble other than play two-up down at the local RSL. They love me there! Unlike some of you sods who show me no respect, yet yearn for my segment and tips. Tell me you don’t! A lot of you have paid your debts off thanks to my tips! Don’t tell me otherwise, because I know I have.

Since there are no VPL games this weekend, I will be yapping on about the State Knockout Cup match this Saturday between South Melbourne and Oakleigh Cannons. There has been some off field controversy in regards to the fixturing. This Saturday for many of you pagans who don’t know, is Orthodox Easter Saturday. A brief rundown on Orthodoxy. In some year many moons ago, there was a schism between the pope lovers and the non-pope lovers. The pope lovers had a sook, and moved away from Orthodoxy proclaiming Rome as the Holy See. The non-pope lovers proclaimed Constantinople as the Holy See and still do to this day.

Anyhoo, the Orthodox faith is the one to be part of. The Oakleigh Cannons being majority Orthodox have requested from the FFV that this match day is changed to suit their religious freedoms. The FFV in their wisdom have said it ain't gonna happen. South Melbourne who are also majority Orthodox, have not requested a change and are happy with the fixture date.

I received some late mail on this issue from a reader. He states that Oakleigh apparently visited His Eminence Archbishop Stylianos Harkianakis who is the Primate of the Greek Orthodox Church in Australia, and he wrote letter to the FFV, basically stating the religious significance of Easter Saturday, and why the game should be changed. I do not know how true this is, but my reader assures me it is. Take it as you will.

My take on this is ‘nothing to see here’. Easter Saturday is considered a day of mourning. How it goes is, on Good Friday night at approximately 8.30pm we ‘walk around the block’ carrying Jesus from his cross to burial in his tomb. On Saturday we mourn his death. On Saturday night at midnight he rises. Now if the game was scheduled for 11:55pm on Saturday night, then yes, it would be an issue. But FFS, it’s not!

I believe the Oaks are having a whinge because their team is currently a rabble. Seen 'em against Southern Stars, and they should’ve lost. Southern Stars equalised with nine men on the park and could’ve won it after that. If Oakleigh has an issue with the fixture, then they can forfeit. They are going to lose anyway, so do it gracefully and just take the 0-3 loss. Stick by your morals and religious obligations and put your money where your mouth is. Saturday is usually spent preparing for Sundays feast. That’s about it.

This is what I get for being away from the internet for more than five minutes

I am Gabriel, the messenger, the teller of astonishing truths. Now I am dying, my temperature soaring, my hands and memory tremoring: perhaps I should be held accountable for everything I say.

Gabriel, in Sonya Hartnett's Surrender


I get home early from work. That's what happens when 80% of my students - in a class of five - don't do the required reading. At least they got a kick of reading Jas H. Duke poems.

Then instead of doing my usual thing of getting straight onto the net to check my messages and forums, I decide to put the dishes away.

I follow that up by making a peanut butter sandwich, and putting on an episode of Rocko's Modern Life - trying my hardest here to be ahead of the 1990s revival curve.

I eventually log on. Emails. Tweets. Even phone calls. People (apparently) refreshing the blog looking for news. For the second time this year, things have gone off tap - and Scott Munn is forced to concede that this is the second time an offer has been made by South. Well, that was certainly news to me.

After the attempt to do whatever it was with the Central Coast Mariners (here and here), it appears that we've lined up another target, this one closer to home, and kicked off the South Melbourne Heart rumours again. And you also have the rumour, as seen on soccer-forum, that we're calling up up every A-League franchise on the fringe of real or imagined imminent disaster trying to buy our way in.

It begs the question - why not just try and buy our own way in, as ourselves? Anyway, for those waiting by their keyboards, the scuttlebutt that I'd heard – not from a committee member, mind – was that South was going to 'go for the jugular'. And let's be honest here - we'd all heard that phrase too many times before.

Well, maybe not exactly that phrase, but re-entry to the top flight was always something that was sought by our supporters. A hope occasionally dangled in front of us by the club, by fringe parts of the media, and even occasionally by the FFA. But mostly by ourselves, wallowing in our hubris and sense of entitlement.

It's strange how in the company of some, you can not only find such statements as plausible, but also as tangible, almost done. And then in the company of others, you can only laugh at the audacity of hope that people at this club still cling to.

But beneath this veneer of objectivity and stoicism, I'm just as likely to get swept up in the ludicrous moments that this game, this Australian game, and our club, our Australian club, provides on an equally ludicrously frequent basis.

So much so that I write the most heinous sentence in any of the at present over 1400 entries on this blog. It helps that Steve from Broady has only started writing recently here I suppose.

And then my internet breaks down, again, and I find myself in an early 90s technological silence. No way of dealing with cacophonous forum fallout, at least for a little while.

Before that happened. I managed to get one or tweets in, an email dealing with other correspondence. But the majority of this was done the old fashioned way, on an eight year old computer with no internet access. And the thoughts on the matter that I have had for quite some time still ring true.

South Melbourne as South Melbourne, playing in blue and white. No more compromises, no more lies. We are who we are, and the rest can take it or leave it.

And maybe a special section in the ground for those of us who stuck it out in the bad times, guaranteed for life. Did I mention our famous sense of entitlement? LOL!

Back To Earth - Dandenong Thunder 3 South Melbourne 0

And now we cross to our man in Dandenong for match reports on both the senior and under 21 matches against Thunder.

Steve from Broady's senior match review 

South Melbourne played at a soulless George Andrews Reserve this week due to the five home game lockout punishment handed down to Dandenong Thunder by the FFA and FFV. There was an extremely strong wind during the game, with goal kicks blowing back to the goal keeper, making conditions very uncomfortable for the players.

South Melbourne kicked with the wind in the first half and had a few opportunities to score but failed to hit the target. Instead it was Dandenong Thunder kicking against the wind who opened the scoring in the 25th minute when Foster played a ball across the goal and Shaun Kelly turned it into his own net. As the half came to an end with Dandy leading 1-0, South had wasted their chance kicking with the wind and it looked a very hard road to come back from for South.

South tried to get into the game at the start of the second half, but struggled to break down a Dandy defence which looked happy to sit on their one goal lead. In the 77th minute South got caught on the counter and went 2-0 behind. Kelly was lucky to stay on the pitch at the end when he went through a Dandy player late while already on a yellow card but the ref resisted pulling out the red. In the last minute Foster put south out of their misery scoring a nice solo counter goal to give Dandenong Thunder a solid 3-0 win and capped off a bad day for South in the hard to play in conditions.

Now that's commitment. Several fans watched the match from behind the back fence. Photographer unknown.

Steve from Broady's under 21s Match Report
On Saturday afternoon South Melbourne under 21s took on Dandenong Thunder at George Andrews Reserve. South were coming of two good away wins and were top of the table after three rounds. South had a massive boost with Trent Rixon and Tom Matthews both in the starting eleven. Rixon was having his first real chance at some game time for 2013 after he had surgery on his injured hip at the end of last season and Mathews was coming back from a broken arm.

Dandenong kicked off the stronger of the two teams in the early stages of the match, but in the sixth minute South was awarded a free kick on the edge of the area. The ball was swung into the mixer and headed home by The Rixer who towered above the Dandy defence to give South an early 1-0 lead. After South took the lead they created s6me more chances to go 2-0 up, with Anthony Giannopoulos making some good runs off Rixon.

But that didn't last too long, and after a while Dandenong started to dominate again and were rewarded in the 14th minute when their captain stood up and made the most of a goal line scramble to level the scores and 22 minutes later the Dandy captain had another chance to score from a goal mouth scramble and didn't disappoint, converting his second goal of the afternoon.

The lads went into the sheds at half time with Dandenong Thunder leading 2-1. At the start of the second half South lost the ball immediately and paid for it with Dandenong running the ball down their end of the pitch and converting after 48 minutes - after that goal went in to put Dandy 3-1 ahead the game started to die down. South got themselves back in the game in the 79th minute when Sebit Muon broke clear of the Dandy defence and buried the ball into the back of the net to make the score 3-2. This continued Muon's good start to the season, finding himself on the score sheet regularly.

Just as South thought they had a chance at a draw and maybe even a win Dandy ran the ball down their end and scored an excellent solo effort goal sealing South's fate. The game finished 4-2 to Dandenong, but there were some positives to take out of the game with Tom Mathews playing a full match on his comeback from injury and Trent Rixon getting on the score sheet for the first time in 2013. South Melbourne's under 21s next league game is against Richmond at Lakeside Stadium in two weeks, until then GET AROUND IT!!!

Steve from Broady's Canteen Review
Since Saturday's game was behind closed doors, I was unable to try any food from the Dandenong canteen and I only see it fit that they get disqualified from the VPL canteen championship. Better luck next year lads.

1. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
2. Southern Stars 2/10
3. Green Gully 1/10
4. Dandenong Thunder DQ

Around the Grounds
With a Friday night match last round, and no access to the venue this week - and no desire to watch our match at $29 for a stock standard chicken parma Beachcomber - there was plenty of around the grounds action to take in.

First up was a trip to John Cain Memorial Park/Reserve to watch the two other sides with perfect records up until that moment. The Melbourne Knights opened the scoring in the first minute, but that was as good as their afternoon got. Northcote equalised a minute later, and had a 3-1 lead at half time, with the third goal being scored right at the end of the half. The Knights missed a sitter at 3-1 down, before Northcote added a couple more to make a sure thing of it.

Rubbing salt into the wound, the Knights also had a penalty saved at 5-1 down. They were pretty poor, with no midfield presence worth mentioning. Northcote were OK without being anything flash. They could have scored a few more, but who wouldn't take a 5-1 win before kick off?

On Friday I went and saw Richmond at home to Northcote. Richmond were a rabble, structures all over the shop and a rampaging Northcote hungry for goals found them in spades. 7-2 it finished to Hercules, who though may have played some weaker opposition this season, have at least been able to put most of them to the sword, ans sixteen goals in four matches in not something to sneeze at.

Even more disappointingly for Richmond, what was the best canteen in the league has gone down the toilet. No more cakes; they seem to have changed their kransky supplier to a significantly inferior product; and they're offering pizza and gyros now. The pizza was reportedly cold, the souvlaki 'so-so'. Richmond were great for quality and value, and they did it by focusing on doing a few things and doing them very well. Now they're doing a billion things and doing them pretty much all poorly.

Lastly, headed out to Paisley Park to watch Altona East and Ballarat Red Devils, two struggling State League 2 North-West teams. East managed to score one early, and score one late, enough for their first win of the season. It was a pretty dire game in between those goals though, and there's only so much you can blame

Next Week
Next week South are at Lakeside for the first time this season, with a Dockerty Cup match against Oakleigh. The match is provisionally scheduled for Saturday, though the time has not been confirmed as of yet.

Kiss of Death invents annual leave for bloggers

Artist's conception of the Kiss of Death (pictured here with a
crappy hat) in a Vietnamese POW camp. 

Where is the Kiss of Death? Did the KOD die from one too many Northcote City kranskies with BBQ and sweet chili sauce last week?

What's kinda sad is that we've already done a Missing In Action gag with the Kiss of Death before, and it was much better then as well.

Anyway, Dandenong vs South this week. As noted several times already by all and sundry, this is a closed door game for regular fans. Your FFV season pass, if you have one, will not get you in. Your media pass, if you have one, will.

If you don't have a way of getting into the ground, these are your options. You can watch the game from the freeway at the southern end of the ground. Watch the live stream at Beachcomber cafe in St Kilda. Or don't bother with either, and so something else with your precious time. I'm going to Altona East, to get a world famous souvlaki as endorsed by Steve from Broady.

Also, yes there are other matches this week. This South of the Border correspondent will be at Richmond vs Northcote tonight. Should be good.

I Knew Him Before He Was Famous!

Now I don't make a habit of listening to South Radio, but this week I was bombarded by people telling me to listen to episode 3 of South Radio 2013. Our very own Steve from Broady makes an appearance on the show, discussing how he got into South, his stats work, the quality of food across the VPL, and his often irritating catchphrases. His segment starts at about 21 minutes, 55 seconds into the show. Worth a listen.

News on Thunder and Richmond games

There are doors that open by themselves / There are sliding doors / And there are secret doors
Thom Yorke at his usual illuminating best. In other words, confirmation today from the club that this week's closed doors match against Dandenong Thunder will be streamed at Beachcomber cafe in St Kilda. While I appreciate the gesture, I've already made my thoughts clear on Beachcomber to those who matter, and will thus not be at this event. However you, dear audience, are free individuals and can make your own decisions on this matter.

Who do you love more, your mother or South?
The home match against Richmond - our first home league game of the season - has been moved from Saturday 11th May, to Sunday 12th May at 3PM. I am reliably informed by several people with mothers that this game will now be held on Mothers' Day. It matters not very much it seems that Mothers' Day, like all the other gimmick days of the year - Valentine's Day, Talk Like a Pirate Day, Saturnalia/Christmas - is an absolute crock used to exploit the gullible and the guilty who don't actually appreciate the things that matter to them on the other 364 days of the year and feel they can get away with cramming it all into one greeting card approved occasion.

But since these people do make up a fair chunk of society - and aren't I superior for not being a part of said society - the club appears to have made a rather daft decision in this matter to move this game to this time slot. What I'm more concerned about is that it is a ploy to avoid acknowledging the fact that the original date for the match was scheduled to coincide with FA Cup night which would have been held in our newly renovated social club. Instead the club seems to be trying to distract people with the fact the social club will not be ready. So here again is my message to the club.

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER PEOPLE WILL FIND OUT. YOU CAN NOT KEEP THIS A SECRET FOREVER. IGNORING IT WILL NOT MAKE THE PROBLEM GO AWAY. JUST BE HONEST AND TRUST THAT MAYBE THE SUPPORTERS WILL UNDERSTAND.

But what do I know? I'm not in the room with the fancy lawyers.

Mild Self Promotion

Apologies to the people who visited today expecting NPL commentary. Life got in the way, so here's something I prepared earlier.

A couple of weeks ago I had the minor thrill of being published in a peer reviewed academic journal for the first time. Based upon my honours thesis, Against the Run of Play: The Emergence of Australian Soccer Literature is a predominantly bibliographic work, creating and examining the niche genre of creative writing concerned with Australian soccer.

It's published in Volume 30, Issue 5 of the International Journal of the History of Sport (Special Issue: Regional Issue: Australasia and the Pacific), which means that unless you are at some sort of tertiary institution, you can't access it without paying some sort of fee. However, interested parties outside of the university cocoon may wish to shoot me an email, in which case I'll see what I can do about emailing you a PDF copy of the article.

Plucky! Bentleigh Greens 1 South Melbourne 2

The scoreboard has an existential crisis. Photo: Gains.

First things first: this was a pretty damn good game to watch. Secondly, the home team were very stiff not to get at least a point out of this contest. A lot of the credit for that must go to the re-invented and/or re-awakened Peter Gavalas, who since emerging from his year long waking dream (specific moment - against Port during the pre-season), has started restoring the faith of not only his detractors, but also his ardent supporters and most importantly the players in the defensive line ahead of him.

It was end to end to stuff, as South sought to apply the kind of forward pressure that had worked so well against a lacklustre Green Gully and an insipid Southern Stars in the first two rounds. Bentleigh weren't surprised by this tactic, nor were they flustered by it, as they moved the ball well out of defence and set up several promising chances from counter attacks.

For South's part, they stuck to their guns, albeit not in the rampaging manner of the opening two rounds, Without the grunt work of Alan Kearney in the middle - he'll miss another 3-5 weeks with a knee injury - South's build up play was more disjointed, less precise. But credit must also go to Bentleigh for limiting the space available to South's wide players more than other teams had done so far this season.

Still, the opening goal of the match came from a cross from the right by Dimi Hatzimouratis, finding Brad Norton at the back post who it must be said for the umpteenth time, whatever his merits as a footballer, does have a knack for finding the back of net. The ball had to bounce a couple of times, but it found its way into the goal, and in this game they all count the same.

Bentleigh predictably wouldn't go down without a fight, and equalised not too long after. Byles was down hurt, and keeping everyone onside, and Bentleigh made the most of that opportunity to level the scores. South players complained to the officials for several minutes, but it didn't do any good - a salient lesson in playing to the whistle. As for the officiating in general, while it was a clean game for the most part, the home team for mine seemed to get the sway of the 50/50 decisions.

The second half was more of the same. A few spectators have given the first half to Bentleigh and the second to South, but speaking only for myself, I didn't think it was thet clear cut. Anyway, the longer the game wore on, the happier I was going to be with a draw. As it turned out, another cross from Hatzimouratis from the right ended up creating the winning goal. Renko Van Eeken, unmarked in front of goal, nodded it past the keeper, and we managed to hold on for the final 10 minutes or so for a plucky win.

During the match, I was concerned about the lack of more defensive players available to us to stifle Bentleigh's game plan. This is where Carl Recchia is certainly being missed. Luke Byles came off hurt, so we're awaiting news on the severity of that injury. But three from three to start the season, and just one more away game before we return to Lakeside for the first time this season.

Steve from Broady's under 21s report
On Friday night South Melbourne's under 21s took on Bentleigh Greens in cold conditions at Kingston Heath. South had good memories at this ground from the week before when they beat Southern Stars here in a very one sided affair. Pre-game controversy arose again when South came out for their warm up and Seb Mattei was nowhere to be seen.

Instead a young kid stepped out of the tunnel in a pink goalkeeper shirt believed to be the under 18s South keeper and I can confirm the lad had gloves. South Melbourne in recent years has always had their second choice goalkeeper playing in the under 21s and then sitting on the bench for the seniors. I don't understand why this is different this year.

Why Mattei just sits on the bench for the seniors and does not keep for the 21s Is beyond me. If he is going to put work in front of playing for South he should find another club. This great football club deserves players who would dive on the chance at playing for the mighty blue and white. I hope this situation is sorted out quickly and does not appear in next week's article.The message is simple: play 21s or go Seb!

But on to the football. The game kicked off and South lost the ball immediately the Greens showed their intent, winning a few corners and not giving up possession for large spells. But as we know in football possession means nothing if you don't put the ball in the back of the net. For all the chances Bentleigh had, they just could not make it count and they paid because in the 25th minute the ref spotted a Greens player all over a South player and awarded a penalty to South. Anthony Giannopoulos stepped up to the spot and converted convincingly.

Bentleigh restarted the game with the match proceeding as it was before the goal, with Bentleigh dominating possession and creating all the chances, but they fell into the same hole again in the 38th minute, when once again a Greens player was pulling a South lad's shirt in the area and the ref spotted it again and awarded South another penalty. Once again Anthony Giannopoulos stepped up to the spot and smashed it straight down the middle to give South a 2-0 lead at half time.

In the second half the Greens were still dominating but the game started slowing down and both teams were running out of puff. In the 79th minute Bentleigh had a crack from outside the box and the swerving screamer of a shot had the South keeper beaten all ends up and gave the Greens that little bit of hope for a draw or maybe even a win. But the South lads stood strong for the last ten minutes of the game and run out 2-1 victors.

Next week the lads face Dandy away which will be another good test for South. Another big thing to come out of the game last night was Anthony Giannopoulos unusual dragging at half time, he could've had a hat-trick in the second half but was dragged. Maybe he was injured or maybe there is more to this than meets the eye - we will see how it all plays out over the week, but until next week GET AROUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve from Broady's Canteen Report

This week it was Bentleigh Greens' time to shine in the canteen. After a lot of build up about their souvs I can say that this week they did deliver - nice meat and a good serve of meat in the souv, good salad in the souv. They lost some points with making a souv in a bread roll and a very high price ($9) but overall it was nice. I was loving the help yourself to the garlic sauce set up, I got around that shit. The souv kind of reminded me of the old Bob Jane souv days with the bread roll and nice serving of meat. Overall I gave the Greens canteen a 7/10.

1. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
2. Southern Stars 2/10
3. Green Gully 1/10

Lost and Found
Cripes, a couple of wins and everyone comes out of the woodwork. Saw some faces last night that I hadn't seen for quite some time.

Meet and Greet
It's always awkward meeting people off forums in real life for the first time. People on the internet are not meant to exist outside of that medium.

Chewing Gum
Avoid Wrigley's Vortex brand green apple flavoured gum. It admittedly smells quite tempting, but within a minute becomes incredibly bitter and unpleasant.

Public Transport Tales
An uneventful night on the rails. Got there in good time, got home by midnight. No complaints, no weirdos. Some of our under 21s players decided to hoof it to Cheltenham station instead of waiting for the bus. Hope they made it home alive.

Next Week
Closed doors game away at Dandy Thunder. I had been planning to do the stupid thing and actually attempt to watch the game from outside on the freeway, but I've since changed my mind. My time will be better spent at Altona East, who are playing Ballarat Red Devils next week, and pumping a little of money into the fantastic canteen there. Best souvlakia in Victorian soccer, and it's been too long since I had one. Damn fixturing conflicts.

For the rest of you, there's rumours going around that there may be some sort of live stream provided by the club - I'll keep my ears open for any news on that front and report on it if any details come to hand. Or you could just follow the club's official news sources.