And you may ask yourself: Well... how did I get here? South Melbourne 2 St Albans 0

This game was so easy that it just might make you re-evaluate everything you think you know about soccer. Or perhaps not. 

Just before our game started we were equal on points with Avondale, with the same goal difference, but second overall on the ladder because we'd scored fewer goals. Immediately after kickoff we were top of the league, at least according to the live ladder ("we're top of the league / we're top of the league / check the live ladder / we're top of the league"), and after 90 minutes of play, we were top of the league outright for real, still.

How did this happen? Arguments about the general mediocrity and/or evenness of this league will only take you so far in finding the answer, because even being in an even league, why is it us that's on top? I suppose it helps that we haven't yet played Avondale, Knights, or Bentleigh, but even so... why us? What have we done that's been so remarkable to see us in this position?

We are a hard working team, but surely we're not only the one of those. We appear to be defensively sound in a way that's certainly surprised me, even taking into account Esteban Quintas' penchant for having his team sit back. But we throw up all manner of starting eleven combinations, not all of which (or even most) our very knowledgeable fans would consider our best and likely most effective starting lineup.

But even taking into account that St Albans racked up quite a few corners, they generally sucked. Sure, they had that one shot cleared off the line when they were already 2-0 down, but that was pretty much their contribution to the day. The two goals we scored, while pleasing to us, on further re-watching reveal a pitifully slow response time from the visiting side. Jake Marshall being unmarked at the near post, as the ball was headed back across goal from the far post from a corner? I'll cut them some slack for that one.

But the second goal? It was hardly searing play from us. Neat movement and passing, but nothing obviously devastating. And Gerrie Sylaidos' gently lofted cross to Harry Sawyer? That was pure futsal/indoor/beach soccer shenanigans. Someone in the crowd asked when was the last time we scored from two headers in a game, it being the kind of question which is being asked nowadays because we are unexpectedly not terrible (maybe even "good"). As usual, the answer seems to be not as far back in the distant past as people like to instinctively think, but rather early last year.

My main concern now, in the event that we don't have a mid-season stumble, is that this season will be our own version of The Producers; in that we have gone to the trouble of selecting players and a coach that we thought would not succeed, but which instead will be so successful that it'll send us broke.

The following segment is not a part of Hume's social media antics complaining about the state of refereeing

Aside from the goals and generally non-objectionable play from us, there was one perplexing moment when Harry Sawyer was fouled, and the referee gave what we assumed was a penalty, what with Sawyer having fallen about two metres inside the box. But no, the foul was directed to be taken more or less just outside the penalty area. One can only assume that the referee thought that whatever infringement he thought he was adjudicating had begun outside the box, in which case it is remarkable that Sawyer (even with his height) only managed to come to ground so far inside the box that everyone just assumed that it was a penalty. 

But seeing as how we're all older and more tired, and top of the league and whatnot, no one seemed particularly fussed about the whole matter. It was a very mature response from our fans to the fairly confusing sequence of events, which just goes to show that the club is dead or some such. Where was the outrage? Where was the abuse? Where was me remembering to ask referees assessor Chris Bambridge after the game what that whole thing was all about?

Next game

Friday night away at Dandenong City. No idea how I'm supposed to get out there. Good chance of just watching this on the stream instead. A stranger reader of this blog has kindly offered me and a friend a lift to the ground. So, just in case said reader turns out to be an axe-murderer or some such, let me just say it has been a pleasure writing this blog, and that I've enjoyed hanging out with my South friends on the hills and terraces of Victorian soccer.

FFA Cup news

While nothing has been announced "officially", it appears as if our cup tie against Melbourne Knights has been scheduled for Tuesday May 4th, at 7:30PM, That would put it just three days after our Orthodox Easter Saturday league match against Hume, and three days before we play the Knights again in the league. Get ready for some serious squad rotation is all I'm going to say.

Pulling their finger out (when I'm not looking)

Before I even got to Lakeside - more specifically, while I was on the train on the way to the ground - I was streaming the opening half of the women's team match against their most likely title rival Calder United. We were up 1-0 by the time I tuned in, and I had to skim back to see the, as it turned out, quite lovely goal. We then proceeded to spend much of the rest of the first half being very slack with trying to win back possession, and playing many lazy, corner cutting long balls into space, instead of trying to carry the ball further up field. Infuriating play from a team you know can do better, and even more aggravating when they conceded the goal they should have conceded. South were lucky it was not more than one goal at half-time.

Now, to the second half... I was at the club by this stage, but the televisions in the social club were not broadcasting the women's game (that was only happening on the pro-shop's screen), and by the time that was rectified, our women were up 3-1 or something like that, and apparently kicking arse, eventually winning 3-2. Well, I'm glad for the fact that they picked up their game in the second half, even if I didn't get to see the magic happen until afterward on replay. 

They'll say you'll miss it when it's gone, but what if you won't?

The St Albans game was first of our seven scheduled Saturday home fixtures, and boy didn't it go down like a lead balloon in terms of attendance and fan engagement. There'll be a millions of excuses, ranging from the obvious and valid, to the abysmal and made-up. The bottom-line though is that the attendance figure, whatever it is officially, was poor, and the attempt to try for a Hume City style reverse fixture order in terms of putting on the 21s game second didn't work either, though it may have saved us a few bucks on hiring security and such.

To be fair, Saturday at 5:00PM is an unusual time, falling in between the final whistle of most state league fixtures and the usual Saturday evening NPL Victoria kickoff time of circa 7:00. And we may find that once we get to the point in the season where we actually play our own scheduled 7:00 Saturday night fixtures, that the crowds will sort themselves out, making the adjustment to something than our traditional Sunday afternoon/evening games. ate

One shudders to think how it all might have looked had we not been undefeated and top of the league. Certainly winning a game comfortably to main that maintain that undefeated run and top of the league status did nothing to keep people behind in the social club afterward. Everyone has their reasons for not sticking around of course, but it is a problem for the club if they don't.

I know what's waiting for me at our next home game.

The service was good, however...

One particular absent friend of ours was much better at food reviews than I am; his reviews had more heart for a start, and he had an off-the-cuff genius for these things that people like me can only dream of. But for the sake of documenting the experience in something approaching its totality, we plod on regardless. I had my first taste of the food in the social club on Saturday night, and all I'll say is don't pick the chicken schnitzel burger; go for the regular beef burger or the lamb sandwich equivalent, for which I have heard things ranging from "very good" to "it's fine". It's not that the schnitzel burger is inedible - it is very much edible, I ate it, and have suffered no deleterious side effects from doing so; but the "fun" beetroot coloured bun, above average salady bits, and the chipotle mayo can't completely disguise the fact that the chicken element of said chicken schnitzel burger is not up to scratch, what with it being a variation of every truck stop/school canteen/giant heart-shaped frozen crumbed schnitzel sitting in your local bakery's bain marie that, at best, you know and tolerate. I look forward to trying to some of the other items on the menu, and writing things about them.

Merch murmurs

I am hearing a pompom beanie with a new design is in the offing. Also, the Gunners t-shirt is on its way.

Final thought 

This is just a reminder that I owe the club the cost of the SM Hellas cap that I tried to buy after the pro-shop register was shutdown for the night, but which I was allowed to keep for the time being because people apparently trust me enough to follow through with payment eventually. 

Ange Postecoglou training kit jersey

There's a social media account that's been posting their collection of South Melbourne Hellas jerseys o social media - notably on Twitter (here) and on Facebook groups like Australian Football Memorabilia.

(Just as an aside, and I know I've mentioned this on one of the episodes of the history podcast, but whoever decided to change the name of the game in Australia from "soccer" to "football" has made the work of Australian soccer historians and researchers infinitely more difficult).

Most of the jersey uploader's jerseys seem to be of a comparatively recent vintage - think mid-1990s onwards - and that'd be no surprise, as they're by far the easiest ones to get. I mean, good luck prising a Marathon Foods era jersey out of someone's cold, dead hands. 

And as for a Montague Smash Repairs jersey (supposedly the thinking man's South Melbourne Hellas top) or anything before that, forget about it. That stuff is gone, and probably the only people who have those things have them locked in a vault, or have no clue of their value or importance of such an item, even as it's right in front of their face as I'm saying this, waggling back and forth, perhaps being help up by a loved one.

Nevertheless there are some rare gems in our collector friend's collection, such as this training kit, and this General Diagnostic Laboratories kit before the company's botched pap smear tests saw the firm re-brand as GDL, and the kits changed accordingly. At any rate, the whole affair has prompted me to dig out this photo of what I assume is Ange Postecoglou's training kit jersey from the late 1990s, which I found when I was cleaning out the old social club many, many years ago now. Strange what survives and what doesn't.

#itstime artefact Wednesday - #SMFC4ALEAGUE t-shirt

Time has stopped. Time no longer exists. There is no A-League. There is no South Melbourne Hellas. There is no soccer. We exist in the collective individualised state of attempting to engage with the twin voids of chronology and meaning. All we have left is the remembrance of time, and the events which occurred back when things still used to occur. I bought this t-shirt late last year at the Savers outlet in Footscray, for the princely sum of $3.49. I don't remember what the club was charging for these shirts. Not being convinced of the merits of the South Melbourne bid, or the legitimacy of the A-League bid process as a whole - and because I am preternaturally too cool for school - I didn't buy a shirt from the club when I had the chance. We could wonder which of our fans had bought one of these shirts and then lost all hope and abandoned the club after our most recent A-League bid failed. More likely, the shirt belonged to a former casual employee, volunteer, or sundry associate of the club, who would have no reason for keeping this shirt. For those of us still here, it's not an item that's going to end up in the poolroom, but there wasn't much choice for me when I saw it on the racks.

It could always be worse (and some people seem to wish that it was) - South Melbourne 1 Essendon Royals 0

Zac Bates shows of his balletic prowess. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

It really was a no-win situation. Given our erratic performances so far this year, our unsettled match-day squads, our coaching change, and our inability to score with any regularity, there are few if any South fans who are optimistic about our chances of progressing to the national stage of this tournament.

However that didn't mean that people were necessarily keen on losing this game; at least not until the last 15 minutes or so, knowing that actually progressing through to the next round could summon a worse fate, in the form of a more severe mauling against a more capable opponent.

Or even worse, distracting us from what looks like being another season battling to avoid relegation.

If we found a way to lose this game, the loss would've been rightly called a disgrace. If we'd won it comfortably, it would've been written off as achieving the bare minimum against a lowly opponent, again rightly so. In its own way, it was reassuring that the team managed to find a third, worse option than either of the preceding two: scraping through on a goal courtesy of a long-ball, and a header by one of our defenders placed into the path of another of our defenders, who slotted home like he was an actual striker, and all of that helped by the Royals defenders deciding they didn't need to track back.

So what kind of result would have placated our fans on Friday? Against a state league 1 opponent at the bottom of their division - and with no 'name' players, with the exception of Melbourne Knights also-ran striker Chris Talajic - probably nothing short of 4 or 5-0 win. Well, that didn't happen, and thus we are miserable.

This miserable state was enhanced not just the failure to second, third, and fourth goals, but also by the performances of some players. Giordano Marafioti got a start, looked dangerous at times (as he should against a state league 1 team if he's serious about this whole NPL business), but failed to take advantage of two very good chances in the first half; one from point-blank range, and another where he was one-on-one with the keeper. At under 20s level, missing those is less of a crime, because playing for South under 20s means you're going to get a heap of those chances; in the seniors, not so much.

Brother Pep was brought back in from the cold after two weeks away from the senior squad - due mostly, if one believes to the rumours, to a poor attitude on the training track - and failed to deliver. His lack of a right-foot was highlighted again, and even as one of his few prominent defenders, I can't help but think this is as good as we're going to get from Pep. He's been tried on the left, the right, and up front, and for the most part nothing has worked, and only some of that can be put down to playing in unsettled formations and unfamiliar positions.

Worst of all, after being benched around the hour mark, Pep proceeded to spit the dummy and march down the players race instead of taking his place back on the bench. So, that's probably someone we can chalk down as exiting the club come mid-May when the mid-season transfer window opens.

But who to put in his place? Well, we could do worse than Zac Bates, who showed a bit when he came on to the field (yes, it was only against a bottom of state league 1 club), but his speed was terrific at least, and he didn't look emotionally cooked after an early season spent injured and on the bench. Ben Djiba also continued to look good at right-back, as well as continue to provide the perplexing spectacle of an actual South Melbourne youth team player starting in the side (and not returning to the club to do so after several years away elsewhere) and looking competent.

More perplexing, and hopefully no serious ramifications come from this, was Kristian Konstaninidis being benched after an hour. One would've thought that KK could use all the game he could get, but he was subbed off to the confusion (and some disgust) of a few people, not least KK himself. Someone in forum land is saying that the substitution occurred because of a lost-in-translation moment between player and coach, and hopefully because we did win the game, that the misunderstanding is smoothed over, because we need a left-back desperately in lieu Brad Norton's absence with injury.

For all the angst about the performance, the Royals rarely threatened our goal. There was a goalmouth spill which was eventually cleared, and a sharp header straight at Roganovic. Then the Royals threw everyone forward towards the end, as you would expect. We hit the woodwork two or three times and missed some very gettable chances, which made things more difficult for us, as it has for most of this season. There was even a moment where it looked like we might get an unlikely penalty, when a Royals defender assumed a ball had gone out and thus rushed to hand it to his keeper (who was the Royals' reserve keeper, who had a solid game), only for there being the possibility that the ball had not actually gone out. Soon enough the officials decided that no player could have possibly been that stupid, and normal service resumed.

Anyway, because we could not find a second goal, we spent the last five minutes cowering in the corner. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it's what you should do when you're in front, and trying to secure the win - but it was unedifying within the context of having to do that against a side ranked two divisions below us.

The hyperbolic reaction to the win would be to say that the squad is at best a mid-tier state league 1 side, but that's why you don't rush home and post straight away. For those of us who haven't quite yet obliterated the quaint desire to see their team win games no matter how aesthetically coarse the method, the win was appreciated, even if the performance still left a lot of questions left to be answered.

As always, it could've been worse! Other NPL clubs lost or barely scraped through against similarly or even less credentialed teams than the Royals. Of course no one cares about those other NPL teams and their near or actual failures, because they are not carrying South Melbourne cultural baggage. It's the price we pay for continuing to support Australia's has-been soccer club.

Hat report
There were new, limited edition hats and caps available at the merch stand, for those who care about such things. Some of them were trucker hats. Not being a trucker, it didn't seem right for me to buy one. Plus I already have my pompom beanie anyway, and who cares if the temperature is pushing 30 degrees in the middle of April.

It was good to see Nikola Roganovic come out with a hat in the second half - not only is that sun-smart, but it also helps avoid situations like this. More confounding was Gerrie Sylaidos' choice of head-wear. By now we are all familiar with the fact that he wears a sort of light beanie during games, usually a white one. But what was the deal with the navy/dark variation used in Friday? It was very warm out there, and we all know that dark colours absorb light and/or heat much more than light colours do.

Music report
Well, after complaining that last week's stadium music, once again we had some variation of the Queer as Folk soundtrack. And then at half-time, we had some variation of a Triple M All-Time Greatest BBQ/Driving/Drinking songs compilation. Is that an improvement? Yes, I suppose so. If you're wondering where exactly I hope my complaints about the stadium music selections end up, it's with the soundtrack to SimCity 3000 being played over the public address system in all of its light-jazz, proto-vaporwave glory.

Next game
Dandenong Thunder away next Saturday night. Since the match falls on Orthodox Easter Saturday.

Final thought
I was out and about on Saturday morning trying to fix the gaping existential hole in my life by purchasing some music on compact disc (it didn't work), and after discussing the merits of El Perro Del Mar's self-titled album (it's ace in its depressive interpretation of '60s girl groups) and the Manic Street Preachers and Richey Edwards' disappearance, the store's proprietor noticed my South Melbourne hat. Well, that led to a discussion about second divisions and such, and also about Western United, which said shopkeeper said he would support because he lived in the area - until such point as I made the pithy comment that he'd have to be driving to Geelong and Ballarat until Western United built their ground, if indeed it ever got built. Hardly the most thrilling story, I know.

"it came out of the closet" - artefact Wednesday - junior Marathon Foods top

Many years ago, but not quite as many as I initially thought - just a tick over four years ago, so roughly some time in 2014 - Ned Negus, the son of broadcaster and former soccer administrator George, was giving away a whole bunch of jerseys he'd found at an old holiday house.

He made that announcement on Twitter, and I jumped in as quickly as I could hoping there would be something to do with South Melbourne. Now usually I'm quite late on these things whenever they become available, and someone has already snaffled up the good stuff - but on this occasion I was lucky - there was a South shirt amid Ned's collection.

The seeming catch was did I want to wear it or just own it, because the shirt was a small size - extra small in fact. Well, I didn't mind either way, and after sending Ned the due postage - he didn't ask for any payment above that - the shirt arrived at what was then Casa South of the Border, along with a kids size Newcastle Breakers jersey of a similar vintage to the South jersey. 

For some reason I don't have a photo of that Breakers top, but no matter - I sent it away recently to Todd Giles, the amateur historian collecting Newcastle soccer history, who has been kind enough to share Newcastle vs South Melbourne related match programs with South of the Border, and thus also with this blog's audience. All part of an attempt at preserving soccer history, and keeping local soccer history local - well, at least more local than is often the case.

Friendly result - South Melbourne 3 Manningham United Blues 3

Rain to the left...

A smooth trip into the city from the western suburbs and outwards again towards Albert Park on the tram, albeit not the first packed tram, but one arriving soon after that was a bit roomier. I hear that some people had hassles coming in via Punt Road, but that's another story.

Inside the social club, a small gathering of South members and members-to-be gathered to collect and pay for memberships. Some of us also try the food on offer in the social club, which now that I've sampled a couple of things on the menu, can justifiably say that the offerings are certainly more than a mere a cut above what was on offer last year. Whether the crew operating the social club space can adjust to the different demands of a match day - where punters will demand speed and probably a lower price line - remains to be seen; but as a more traditional bistro space, I haven't got any complaints yet.

... and rain to the right. Photos: Paul Mavroudis.

Outside, fortune of fortune, there was a friendly on. What magnificent serendipity. And soon the good guys were 2-0 up, and looking sharp, well, at least sharpish. Then our esteemed merged, de-merged, and merged guests, who have been through at least three of the four stomachs of the ruminant and much famed Victorian Italian club merger flowchart, pulled a goal back, thanks to some sloppy marking.

So it has been from what little I have from this pre-season, where whatever adequate play has been manufactured going forward, just as much inadequacy has been found going toward the other, less desirable direction. Manningham pulled it back to 2-2, Will Orford scored a belter of a goal to make it 3-2 - he dispossessed an opponent in midfield, and curled a shot in from distance over an out of position goalkeeper - before the visitors made it 3-3, after which the scoring ended.

The members of the crowd who were there to support Manningham - recently promoted from State League 1 to NPL2 - got very excited with their goalscoring exploits, perhaps unduly so for pre-season; but since I spontaneously rose from my seat in excitement after Orford scored his goal, I guess there's limits to how much I can chide them for their enthusiasm.

The rain bucketed down, the ground became sloshed, players lost their footing and their positioning, and made frequent errors in passing the ball. I'm not sure what anyone would have learned from the exercise to be honest, and well before the end of the contest, the benches of both sides were cleared, and those still playing were left to duke it out in the pouring rain.

Need More Greeks! / 2019 SMFC senior squad roster as of 7/02/2019
You People™ asked for an unapologetically big, gnarly, traditional centre-forward, and you've got your wish. And bonus points, he's Greek, which fits in with one of the themes of our off-season recruitment strategy, that being "need more Greeks" - not that there's anything wrong with that.

As the official site's blurb says, Billy Konstantinidis is a Melbourne centre-forward (no visa spot required) who has spent the better part of the last decade and a bit playing for several lower league teams in Greece. Though if you trust Wikipedia, and who doesn't, Billy hasn't been playing or scoring much in recent seasons.

And here's some bonus trivia - Billy, who turns 33 in April, played in East Richmond's last season of senior football in 2004, which is a hell of a long time ago on a number of fronts.

Now I don't know how fit Billy is and whether he's ready to go from round 1. Much the same however can be said about some of other players who have had injuries, but especially Marcus Schroen who has missed a good chunk of this pre-season with trips to Cambodia (late last year), and apparently now Sri Lanka.

Combined with that, there has been that much rotation of squads during the practice games that I honestly have no idea what Con Tangalakis' best starting eleven is. Chances are that whatever lineup Tangalakis chooses to field against West Adelaide on Saturday will probably be close to the starting eleven which will take the field against Bentleigh in round 1.

But back to Billy Konstantinidis, who has been touted by the club as the team's last signing before the start of the season. That statement means the categories I've used to keep track of who's in, who's out, and who's been hanging around, have had to be reshuffled. One wants to trust the announcements about players signed, and players gone, but the great mass of those in the middle remain problematic. So I've decided to sort them into two groups one being players who were at Lakeside last year and at pre-season this year and thus likely signed up, and a handful of others whose status is more tenuous.

There's more than 20 players in the list, so I'm assuming at least a few will end up in the 20s.

Signed

• Dean Bereveskos (Bonnyrigg White Eagles) 
• Ethan Gage (Bentleigh Greens)
• Kristian Konstantinidis (signed until end of 2019) 
• Nick Krousoratis (Green Gully)
• Perry Lambropoulos (Port Melbourne) 
• Brad Norton (signed until end of 2019) 
• Kostas Stratomitros (Oakleigh Cannons)
• Gerrie Sylaidos (Northcote) 
• Billy Konstantinidis 

Seen hanging around pre-season training and I assume signed for us because they played for us last year

• Luke Adams 
• Manny Aguek 
• Ben Djiba
• George Howard 
• Amir Jashari
• Giordano Marafioti 
• Giuseppe Marafioti 
• Jake Marshall
• Andrew Mesorouni
• Leigh Minopoulos 
• Will Orford
• Nikola Roganovic
• Marcus Schroen 
• Giorgi Zarbos

Seen hanging around pre-season training and buggered if I know what their signing status is.

• Melbourne Heart Ball Hog
• Zack/ch Bates?
• "Calvin"

Injured

• Alastair Bray 

Out

• Rory Brian (Oakleigh) 
• Matthew Foschini (Oakleigh) 
• Josh Hodes (Oakleigh?) 
• Christos Intzidis (FK Palanka, Lithuania) 
• Milos Lujic (Oakleigh) 
• Oliver Minatel (Canada) 
• Ndumba Makeche (Penang FA) 
• Tim Mala (North Sunshine)

At last, my love has come along / My lonely days are over / etc
I'm not going to say that I don't even care if we get relegated now, but let us all appreciate this moment.

The biggest @smfc news this preseason? We finally have pompom beanies. More than a decade's worth of campaigning has finally paid off. It was easier to get @footballvic to bring the Dockerty Cup name and trophy back. pic.twitter.com/xU2jPeQorv

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) February 6, 2019

For years I have argued that we need these as opposed to the bland, pompom-less beanies, and finally after many years of griping, it's happened. Kids will love 'em, they look good, and they have character goddammit. Why other tinpot local clubs could have these things and we couldn't I never found out, and now I don't even want to find out. They cost $25, and five of those dollarydoos end up going to the South Melbourne Powerchair team. It's several levels of win.

Don't you know who I am? 2019 edition
Yet another marker of a season that's almost here.

Back for another year. Thanks to @teopellizzeri for continuing to legitimise my reign of blogging terror. pic.twitter.com/o7sXmncwYj

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) February 6, 2019

It's all standard procedure these days, a long way from the days of being told that what I did was entertaining, but not important enough to have a media pass. I never take it for granted though.

Public Transport guide
I added details for Paisley Park and Frank Holohan Soccer Complex to the guide, not that anyone cares, and not that anyone will bother, possibly not even me for Frank Holohan because it is such an insane trip.

Cockatoos! Mornington 1 South Melbourne 6

I wasn't stupid enough to haul myself out to Dallas Brooks Park on a Monday night for a pre-season friendly. According to SMFCMike's Twitter reportage:

• The game was two 45 minute halves.
• Starting lineup was Roganovic, Konstantinidis, Adams, Piergianni, Mala, Pavlou, De Niese, Daley, Marafioti, Minopoulos, Kecojevic.
• Goals for us were Minopoulos (x2), Epifano, Lujic, Millar, Schroen.
• Highlight was cockatoos.

Next game, including live stream details
As I have already complained about numerous times, we open our league season against Bulleen at the Veneto Club on Monday night.

For those who cannot or who choose not to make the trek out there, there will be a live video stream on the NPL Victoria Facebook page.

Farewell hooped socks

Check out our exclusive launch video of our new @pumafootball playing kit for the 2017 #PS4NPLVIC season. pic.twitter.com/xZ43WE4oEw

— South Melbourne FC (@smfc) February 6, 2017

Also, you'll need to wait a bit until you can buy these. Speaking of which.

Memberships
We have all been assured that they will be coming out this week.

Not that any of that matters just yet
This week the draw for the NPL national playoff series was held. The result of that draw will see the team that finishes on top of the NPL Victoria ladder at the end of the 2017 season play the equivalent NPL Western Australia side in Western Australia in the NPL national playoffs. I am mentioning this only, or rather mostly, to put the final nail in the coffin of a stupid rumour that was started by 'someone' around the time of the last AGM, and which has still kind of persisted even though it was refuted by eminent persons, or just regular persons, take your pick.

By the way, I really wanted to link to that scene in Death in Brunswick we're they're stomping on the coffin inside the grave, but youtube has failed us on that front, providing only links to the trailer. Which reminds me, I was in a coffin once, and not a very comfortable one I might add.

Around the grounds
Too early in the season to be jaded; too hot not to be jaded
After the unveiling of the Ferenc Puskas statue I headed out to Campbell Reserve to see Moreland City vs Werribee City in the opening round of the NPL 2 season. The man at the gate tried to sell me tickets to the raffle, but the prizes were too A-League oriented, and I told him as much. There was a hive of activity around the ground, as small shade tents had been erected behind the goals, a media gantry was in place, and even a new electronic scoreboard. Sadly the scoreboard froze eight minutes and seventeen seconds into the first half. Trent Rixon, suspended for this match after getting frustrated with a bloke doing 'too many Maradona turns', was one of many notable onlookers in this game, along with George Donikian (who was also at the statue unveiling) and a number of South of the Border well wishers. As for the game itself, a largely dull, grinding affair, only in part due to the heat. Moreland scored first, and Werribee scored second, against the run of play, After the game, I saw the route 1 tram wait through about six or ten traffic light cycles because of people in cars who wanted to turn right onto Moreland Road. I hate those people so much.

Final thought
Yes, I will be writing about the Ferenc Puskas statue at some point (either on here or for another website), hopefully soon, but I really want to nail this one properly, because of the sheer absurdity of the whole situation.

No Kevin Nelson artefact Wednesday - VPL 2006 Champions T-Shirt

This Saturday marks ten years since the 2006 VPL grand final, where we beat Altona Magic 1-0. To mark the occasion, South put out a commemorative championship t-shirt with the names of every player who played for South that year. All except one, that is. Striker Kevin Nelson's name does not appear on the t-shirt, for reasons which do not remain clear. Nelson's contract was terminated following a 2-0 win away at Melbourne Knights, during which he came off injured. Nelson took the matter to arbitration of some sort, the result of which I'm not certain. Just about everyone else who had a hand in that championship - other players who left, players who barely played, the massage therapist - managed to get on the shirt, but Nelson - who scored seven goals in 18 league appearances - did not. Now I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I do suspect that this omission was deliberate, in which case it's a callous way of rewriting history.

Deep Fried Anonymous Goo - South Melbourne 10 Keysborough 0

The crowd for our match, the first of a Saturday afternoon doubled header, was somewhere between 126 and 152 persons. Our starting line-up included eight changes from the team that started against Bulleen. Michael Eagar, Luke Adams and Milos Lujic started, with many other fringe players getting an extended run. Still, as one person noted, one could make the assertion that Lujic started as an insurance policy, while also asking where Kristian Konstatinidis was.

Nevertheless, we won this game easily as was expected of us, though we also butchered several opportunities going forward. All things considered, few of those fringe players really impressed, although some folk were pleased with Philzgerald Mbaka's ball skills, and Leigh Minopoulos was hungry, although also wayward and rusty. Still, Minopoulos' thieving of a Marcus Schroen shot that was already heading for goal was an indication of a certain keenness for the battle in a match in which we never had to exert ourselves.

Despite the odd lusty tackle from Keysborough, I assume none of the players that we used got anything other than the usual knocks you receive after playing a game of soccer. Iqi Jawadi was not even listed on the bench, and neither Brad Norton, Tim Mala nor the Peoples' Champ were used if they were at all listed. After the match Chris Taylor and his Senior Football Adviser ended up at the canteen almost as quickly as I did. Did the Cardinals' get close to scoring? There was some sort of action at the opposite end of the field early in the second half, but it wasn't really clear what was happening. They had a go, and their goalkeeper was able to have a laugh with Clarendon Corner behind the goals.

Other highlights included: a penalty shout which included a lot of animated pointing to the spot on the ground where one of our players believed the foul had taken place; several Zaim Zeneli chants; an inane discussion on politics which stopped short of discussing whether the BDS movement is justified in its actions; the assistant referee giving us a smile, but no wave; and the compulsory appearance during the second half of Heidelberg United coach George Katsakis or one of his Saddam Hussein-esque body doubles - either way, credit must go to George for coming to more of our games than many of our so called fans, especially those who prefer living it up on the internet.

The draw for the next round, which will be a midweek affair played some time in late April I think, will probably take place on Monday. Only one NPL team was eliminated, which was Northcote (see the 'around the grounds' segment), but some of the low hanging fruit of NPL2 also got eliminated or otherwise failed to impress even winning their fixtures.

Still, we'll probably get drawn against Melbourne Knights again. To which all one can say to the corrupt FFV and FFA lackies who will be responsible for that farce is 'make it so'.

Next game
Richmond away on Thursday night, the same night at the Socceroos play Tajikistan in Adelaide. So you can either go to Adelaide and see a horrible match alongside horrible people, or come to Kevin Bartlett Reserve instead.

AGM this Wednesday night at 7:00PM
To attend, you must have been a financial member of the club in 2015. Last time around I think I spent a lot of time making silly tweets. Maybe I'll take more notes this time.

South Melbourne online merchandise store now available
Head to this link. If items appear to be missing (for me, it was the replica jerseys for some reason, maybe because a non-conformist browser), just do a search for South Melbourne on the site and they will should come up in the results. I have been told that items such as hoodies, jackets, tracksuits, heritage tops will also be available at some point, even if you can't quite see them now...

Update
Thanks to Geordie Hellas to alerting us to the fact that if you click on the 'pre-order- tab, you can see the various replica kit options.

Dim sim disappointment during the intermission

Fancy dim sims at @NorthcoteCity #FFACup pic.twitter.com/uVsv7cp352

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

With the spreading popularity and availability of the South Melbourne dim sim, we have seen certain imitators try to carve out a niche of their own in the large dim sim market. I had been told that these were tasty, and the packaging too was very promising - if the probably highly racist caricature on the paper bag was any indicator. However the product itself was incredibly disappointing. Apart from the people working in the Northcote canteen not cooking them through properly, which required me to throw out the two dimmies I had purchased, the meaty filling was mostly a bland sludge.

International Year of the Fence

Fence at John Cain Memorial Park #FFACup #fencegate #fencebitters #internationalyearofthefence pic.twitter.com/gdAZHHzQ5o

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

As with Port Melbourne's fence the other week, I would like to know how exactly a metal fence gets a hole in it like that. Any thoughts on what it would take for that kind of damage to occur is more than welcome.

The ox is slow, but the earth is patient

Still no seat or back window at bus stop opposite Darebin International Sports Centre. @ptv_official pic.twitter.com/4peZp7qaVb

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

As it was when we visited Northcote a few weeks ago. Someone at Public Transport Victoria's getting the sack (or at least a demotion) when this tweet goes viral.

Scurrilous gossip department
Which South Melbourne committee member has allegedly told his wife that he's quit smoking, only to be seen smoking like a chimney at John Cain Memorial Reserve yesterday?

Need more umlauts
I think it's time that Marcus Schroen became Märcüs Schröen. More metal.

Tibbzy FC
Make of this whatever you will. A warning however for those of you who get set sick easily when watching dizzy camera work - this has a truckload of that.


Around the grounds
I had a photo for this segment, but something went wrong
Of those few South fans who had turned up to the South Melbourne-Keysborough match, few stayed behind to watch was expected to be one of the more closely contested cup ties of this round, that being the match between NPL struggler Northcote and NPL2 West mid ranking side St Albans. Now these teams had previously had a level of rivalry, even animosity, which I considered more or less confined to Northcote's Trent Rixon era, but the 'we hate Northcote' chant from the Dinamo fans on the hill suggested the resentment continued, at least from their side. Put very simply, everyone knew that Northcote would lose this game, and that it was only a matter of how and when St Albans would break the deadlock. That it took until well into the second half, and only after several crosses narrowly missed by both sides, made the game more interesting as a spectacle. The winning goal, when it did come, was actually atypical of the kind of play that had taken place up to that point - an ambitious long range strike hit the crossbar, rebounding to a bloke who used to struggle to score goals when he was at Altona East, who had an easy tap in. Since Northcote can't buy a goal in 2016 - just one so far from five matches, and that was from a penalty - that was the game there and then.

Final thought
'Where were the hooped socks?', lamented one of the members of Clarendon Corner yesterday. Where indeed.

More headgear artefact Wednesday - Lakers Headband

Back in July of this year, I put up a post celebrating the Hellas headband, a wonderful piece of South Melbourne Hellas merchandise history. Now in the comments section of that piece, someone mentioned that there was also a Lakers headband, and thanks to collector and friend of the blog Nick Vertsonis, we have an image of the Lakers headband for all to see, so thanks Nick for continuing to share the bounties of your collection with the wider South Melbourne Hellas supporter base.

Lakers artefact Wednesday - Lakers street sign

This arfetact was one of several images uploaded recently by Nick Vertsonis on Twitter, and which I'll be uploading one by one in due course. Now the first thing you need to know is that this is, of course, not a real street sign (der, Paul) but rather, as explained by Nick in email:

a decorative/novelty item to be displayed on a wall or in the garage... the sign was all the rage with all the AFL/NRL clubs at the time, around the mid nineties.

Irrespective of whether or not it was a legit sign, it's an interesting piece of memorabilia, which shows that the club was interested in not only trying out different merchandise ideas, but also a willingness to use the Lakers name, and hell, I'm going to just go out and say it: the logo's sorta crappiness aside, 'Lakers' was by no means the worst nickname that could have been conjured up for that unfortunate situation where we were forced to try and assimilate. At least we had a lake next to us, unlike the LA Lakers who allegedly tried to stop us using the name, though I've never actually seen the hard and fast evidence that they actually tried to do that. But that apocryphal story is so fun, that it just keeps on keeping on, though admittedly helped when I, too, have inadvertently given the story another push via one of Joe Gorman's articles on The Guardian.

It also reminds me of the photo on the left of an actual South Melbourne parking sign - originally posted in a Supermercado article which we've archived - which to me (and especially my dad, who was responsible for paying the parking fines for parking in those areas) always stood a bit menacingly. It makes you wonder though, if we were to ever somehow get back into the top-flight, where would all those people who wouldn't use public transport park? And would the local tramlines - the 12, the 1 and at a pinch the 96, be able to cope? Thank goodness that's not a problem we're ever likely to have to deal with.

Social Club Artefact Wednesday - Hellas Headband

Back in 2008 when this blog was only about six months old, and during a period of time when he was riddled with injuries, South winger Billy Natsioulas had offered to write about his footballing career up until that point. That post eventually became this post, still one of my favourite posts on here, and judging by the stats and comments, one of our readership's favourite posts, too.

The one regret I have about that piece is that 'Nats' claimed to have a photo of himself wearing a classic Hellas headband, but he was never able to find it and supply it to me for use with the article. More's the pity on that front. I assume the headband in this photo, which I found as part of cleaning out the social club, is what Nats would have had on his head in said photo. Surely there couldn't be more than one version of this stunning fashion item, but I'm sure there are photos in old school photo albums of our supporters, with some young punk or punkette sporting one of these at Middle Park.

Just enjoy the fact that we're still on top - South Melbourne 2 Port Melbourne 1

It was cold. It was wet. The ground was muddy. The crowd was small. And then we copped the opening goal.

Ten minutes in Zois Galanopoulos - was he on our books at one stage? Maybe just a youth player or prospective recruit - took advantage of a counter attack opportunity from yet another defensive cock up and scored past the hesitant Jason Saldaris. Perhaps out of embarrassment (OK, more likely a technical malfunction), we did not put his name up on the scoreboard.

Speaking of the scoreboard, it looked like it had some dead pixels. Either that, or some water had managed to seep in through part of the protective layering. I don't know, I'm not au fait with these things.

Anyway,  it looked like it was going to be another one of those days, but we managed to get the equaliser within a couple of minutes, with excellent lead up play leading to a Milos Lujic goal. Then the game descended into a slow and methodical slog, with Port sitting back trying hit us on the counter and us trying to not get done on the counter. Late on in the first half Iqi Jawadi got fouled, apparently inside the box but there's at least one Hellas person who says that it wasn't, and we got the penalty and then came the jitters as Jamie Reed stepped up to take it, with memories of his squandered spot kick from a couple of weeks ago against Goulburn Valley Suns still fresh in the mind.

Thankfully he actually scored the goal, and we went into halftime leading the game. The most remarkable thing of the match then happened, and we started turning it on a little bit, and truly, we should have absolutely buried them. The fact that we didn't, and instead being forced into having to endure a seemingly never ending half hour of not being able to get the ball, but also Port not being able to do anything with all that possession (but maybe all it would take would be one stupid moment) will really stump the armchair football psychologists out there. Is this win reflective of a hard fought, grinding back to business kind of mentality, which would either set us in good stead for a tough game against Green Gully, or was it just more evidence of a team which has lost its way, forgetting how to move in for the kill? Had we won by 4-1 instead, would that have seen as us getting our mojo back with the Knights game being an unfortunate albeit costly statistical outlier, or would it see us get cocky and get likely to be smashed to pieces by a mentally tougher Gully side?

I suppose that's for the retrospective analysts out there to figure out, once any one of those things actually happens. In the meantime new signing Shaun Timmins made his South debut - he had been due to play against the Knights in the midweek cup clash, but his transfer was reputedly held up for purportedly stupid reasons - replacing Brad Norton. I didn't think Timmins put in a better show than what Norton would have, but it's only been one game. Stephen Hatzikostas also started, in place of Tyson Holmes. For some reason I now expect this to be a regular occurrence, as Norton and Holmes were the two remaining players who were with South at the start of the 2013 season, and Chris Taylor is probably keen to move on from the horror of that era, even though there were some good times oif people care to remember them.

While of course the response of the fans to any change in our style of play will cross into the absurd - even if it's only because we care so much, while mostly understanding so little - there is serious confusion as to what's going on out there at the moment. It looks like we're halfway through the process of transforming ourselves into something new - not necessarily better or worse, but different nonetheless, as we begin to play a short passing game, spreading it around the back, including noticeably giving Saldaris plenty of touches of the ball, instead of doing what we did on Friday and keeping it away from him as if he had girl germs, eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww - and looking for gaps in the opposition defence rather than trying to take them on and get them on the back foot.

The fact that very likely the same people who were bemoaning the more direct and supposed long ball game are now criticising this new fangled trend of shorter passes is probably not lost on too many people, even those right in the thick of this apparent double standard. Maybe it's a vaguely direct game plan filled with mid-range distance passing that will make peace reign in the stands? Me, I just think it's a bit late to jump on the tiki-taka bandwagon now, especially since we've just seen it apparently roll out of the world cup station with 'NOT IN SERVICE' blaring back at us in neon lettering. Let's be honest - the only thing that will get close to making South fans happy at this point in 2014 will be taking out the NPL title, and even then we'll be complaining about how we should've won it earlier, how we should have made the FFA Cup, and where's the damn social club already?

It was the first time in three attempts that we had beaten Port at Lakeside, following the 2012 and 2013 disasters. It was also the first time - last year's Dockerty Cup quarter final against Preston excepted - that we had come back to win a game after conceding the first goal since we beat Richmond 3-2 at Lakeside last year. In addition to that, Heidelberg managed to hold Oakleigh to a 1-1 draw despite being down to ten men for 65 minutes. So now we're back out to a six point lead at the top of the table. Don't ask me how long that will last, but right at this moment I'd sure as hell rather be where we are rather than where Oakleigh is.

Next week
Green Gully at home, who are in an oldschool Green Gully frame of mind at the moment.

Maybe you can explain it to me, part 1
So, we have Jamie Reed, James Musa, and now Shaun Timmins as potential visa players. Which one isn't and what excuse have we used to work our way around this problem?

Maybe you can explain it to me, part 2
Each NPL squad is meant to have a maximum of twenty players in its senior squad. So far we've signed Steven Hatzikostas, Shaun Timmins and Dion Kirk. We've let go Graham Hockless and Slaven Vramesevic. That doesn't add up. Unless weve got Kirk solely in the under 20s squad, and planning to play him only the allowed a maximum of five times in the league, without the n ebing forced to add him to the senior list.

Beanies!
Back in stock. I bought one.

Cool story, bro! department
While I was getting a haircut the other day, 1984 NSL championship winner, South Melbourne Hellas legend and current Doxa Yarraville coach Charlie Egan stopped in for chat. My barber (and also the current/former first aid dude at Yarravile), who I've been seeing for over 25 yeas and knows I'm a Hellas fan had the nerve to ask me if I knew who Egan was. True story.

What's going on back there?
The function centre was booked out for a Jewish wedding(?), and a smattering of that event's patrons wandered out onto the balcony to watch our game. Too bad there wasn't a bigger crowd on our part - we could have had a better chance of getting some more noise into their wedding video.

More Shoot Farken write ups
Continuing off where we left last week, here are some more of these

• Germany vs Ghana, Nigeria vs Bosnia-Herzegovina, South Korea vs Algeria, USA vs Portugal
• Australia vs Spain, Croatia vs Mexico
• Italy vs Uruguay, Greece vs Cote d'Ivoire, France vs Ecuador, Russia vs Algeria

Around the grounds
Welcome to the future
The day was windy and cold, the teams mid-table and mediocre, the reserves match borderline unwatchable. But at least there was this:

At @AEPAOK vs Western Suburbs, where the main point of interest today is the installation of a new big screen TV. pic.twitter.com/ZIaxk6AVk8
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) June 28, 2014

It's been a long time since I've seen so many people in that social club. Suburbs won the seniors match 3-2.

Final thought
What are we waiting for, assembled in the forum?

The barbarians are due here today. Why isn’t anything happening in the senate? Why do the senators sit there without legislating?             Because the barbarians are coming today.             What laws can the senators make now?             Once the barbarians are here, they’ll do the legislating. Why did our emperor get up so early, and why is he sitting at the city’s main gate on his throne, in state, wearing the crown?             Because the barbarians are coming today             and the emperor is waiting to receive their leader.             He has even prepared a scroll to give him,             replete with titles, with imposing names. Why have our two consuls and praetors come out today wearing their embroidered, their scarlet togas? Why have they put on bracelets with so many amethysts, and rings sparkling with magnificent emeralds? Why are they carrying elegant canes beautifully worked in silver and gold?             Because the barbarians are coming today             and things like that dazzle the barbarians. Why don’t our distinguished orators come forward as usual to make their speeches, say what they have to say?             Because the barbarians are coming today             and they’re bored by rhetoric and public speaking. Why this sudden restlessness, this confusion? (How serious people’s faces have become.) Why are the streets and squares emptying so rapidly, everyone going home so lost in thought?             Because night has fallen and the barbarians have not come.             And some who have just returned from the border say             there are no barbarians any longer. And now, what’s going to happen to us without barbarians? They were, those people, a kind of solution.

Waiting for the Barbarians, by CP Cavafy

Five league wins on the trot - South Melbourne 2 Ballarat Red Devils 0

Despite the shorter turnaround between games, and the rumour that Nick Epifano may have received a knock during training in the lead up, South's lineup was unchanged. For their part, Ballarat had had two of their league games postponed already, including their game against Heidelberg which had been scheduled for last Sunday, so they would have been fresher, if not as match hardened as South.

For whatever reason - either because of last week's lackluster first half, or anticipating that Ballarat would sit back for large periods of the game - it looked like we came out to kill this game off in the first 15 minutes. It reminded me a bit of the old Ange Postecoglou era, where knowing that many of the teams we played at Lakeside would sit back with numbers behind the ball and try to frustrate us, we would try and have the game played on our terms.

But where those sides would almost inevitably score an early goal or two, despite the bluster of the opening flurry on Thursday night we couldn't manage to get the breakthrough goal. Milos Lujic had the best chance, as he ran on clear through on goal, but he blasted his short range shot onto the crossbar. The big striker looked across to the linesman, pleading for the goal which he seemed to believe had crossed the line, but there was nothing doing.

The game then settled down, becoming a classic battle of possession vs counter attack. South tried to be patient with the ball, knocking it around until space was created - Matthew Theodore looked especially dangerous - but our crosses and finishing weren't up to standard. Meanwhile, the visitors were busy trying to bust open our offside trap, and they weren't too far away on a few occasions. Twice it seemed to me that they were denied a run through on goal by unjust offside calls.

Gradually Ballarat started coming out of their shell and moving up the field, as our desire to pass the ball around the back and to Jason Saldaris looked shaky and laden with risk. We also seemed to put the ball into possible turnover situations, combined with Saldaris' tendency to keep possession for too long instead of clearing the ball upfield creating unnecessary tension. Still, most of Ballarat's attacks were restricted to set pieces and shots from outside the box.

The under 20s lost 3-1 to Ballarat. I'm not sure what the
go is with the sign having the text split up in that way.
Photo: Gains.

The visitors were helped by some pedantic if mostly consistent refereeing, as the main official decided to punish what appeared to be otherwise fair physical challenges. Getting towards halftime, it appeared that 0-0 would be the score at the break, and the halftime talk planned around getting our formation back into shape. But then Jamie Reed opened the scoring, after finding himself with plenty of room to unleash a powerful shot across goal, which gave the Ballarat goalkeeper little chance.

The visitors were more attacking in the second half, but I think it's fair to say we still looked the more likely to score, despite periods of miscommunication especially on yhe left hand side. Lujic put the ball into the back of the net, but it was ruled out for an offside, fairly I thought. Eventually Reed made it two for the night, as he managed to somehow beat the offside trap and score a relatively easy goal. I felt that he was miles offside, and didn't even bother getting up in excitement when he found himself clear on goal, but the video will probably make me a look like a goose again.

At 2-0 up, the game wasn't quite dead, but it would require something special for the game to be a contest again. Ballarat substitute Dane Milovanovic almost made that happen, with a long range speculative shot that sailed over Saldaris and hit the bottom of the far post. But in the end, we got the win, kept another clean sheet, and dispatched the only other team apart from ourselves to have a perfect start to the season. All in all, a pretty good night, in front of a decent crowd considering the scheduling and opponent.

Chants
'Come on Hellas steal their fucking gold'

'KFC, KFC, KFC'

'Hungry Jack's, Hungry Jack's, Hungry Jack's'

Image courtesy of the Michael Eagar Fan Club. 

Here's something you don't see everyday
I can't remember which of our players was responsible for this bit of stupidity. During the second half Ballarat had been awarded a free kick near the sideline (or was it a throw in?), with the ball from that bit of action rolling away out of play. The South player let that ball go on its merry way without giving it back - fair enough - but then proceeded to kick one of the spare balls on the halfway line away from the Ballarat player who wanted to get it in order to quickly restart the game. Our man copped a yellow card for his trouble.

Next game
Melbourne Knights at Somers Street. Despite their calamitous finish to last season, big things were expected of the Knights in 2014, especially after they beat reigning champs Northcote in the opening round. But despite a flurry of home games to start the season, some dodgy refereeing and poor finishing have conspired to see them lose three home games on the trot. I'm sure they'll fire up for this game though, relishing the underdog tag which we couldn't possibly claim for ourselves seeing as we're five from five.

Membership goodies and merchandise
The scarf is stretchy, and a lighter shade of blue than we're accustomed to, but otherwise quite nice. The membership 'hard card' is actually flaccid, which seemed to annoy some people. You also get a hat (same as last year) and a sticker. As for merch, no beanies yet - they may get some later in the year - but really, I wouldn't need to buy another one if I didn't keep losing the ones I already have. All round, the membership is pretty good value, not least because all the money goes to the club. Shame the stress balls idea never got up.

If those are not good enough reasons to sign up, here's Jimmy Armstrong to tug at your South Melbourne Hellas heartstrings.



Around the grounds
No venturing out anywhere this week. Thought about Port vs Northcote, but I'd already done that once this season, in their earlier cup meeting. Anyway, the results fell our way a little bit this round, and we find ourselves four points clear at the top of the table - albeit Bentleigh have a game in hand against Ballarat, which won't be played for months yet.

An Easter message from Elias Donoudis

Χρόνια Πολλά to all my Greek Friends, I'll be doing the Επιτάφιο around Jack Edwards reserve tonight. Long Live Οκλι Καννονς.
— Elias Donoudis. (@carlsaganaki) April 18, 2014

Final thought
Aren't you glad we get to play these guys in the league again in two weeks? Brilliant scheduling that.

Social Club Artefact Wednesday - Save Our South T-Shirt

This Friday marks one of the most significant moments in the club's history - as well as perhaps its lowest point - the 10th anniversary of the 'Save Our South' campaign.

A month after being eliminated in the finals of the last NSL season in heartbreaking fashion by Adelaide United, South wasn't just on the ropes, it was down for the count. Despite the windfall of the infamous World Club Championship money just four years previously, we had huge debts and no income stream on the horizon. South was placed in administration. Our players, their contracts declared null and void, all left.

We weren't involved in any competitions,  being blocked along with Melbourne Knights from joining the VPL in 2004 by certain insecure clubs, most infamously Whittlesea Stallions and Ernie Tapai's bloody fridge magnets. I guess the assumption was also at the time that, with the Melbourne licences for the new competition reduced from two to one, that we were a goner anyway.

A rally was organised to save the club, much like many VFL clubs had had to do over the preceding decades. Where thousands were expected to turn up, only a few hundred bothered to do so. I'm ashamed to say that I was one of those many thousands of South fans that did not turn up to that day. Whatever personal issues I may have had at the time, I suppose like many South fans I just assumed that someone else would rock up to save the club. In the end, that's what happened, but only just.

In several ways both tangible and intangible, the legacy of that period still follows us to this day. Tangibly in the sense of having to pay back the Toumbourou/Christopher money, with the attendant hysteria that came with it, or the Lakeside issue still not being resolved. Intangible in the sense that the club's sense of invincibility and self-importance was dealt an incredible blow, both to those who followed our club and those outside of it who reveled in our fall from grace.

But I'm not looking to dwell on that. What I want to emphasise is that we still have a club ten years on, when many thought it was doomed. And I would like to thank all those people, whether they are still with the club or not, who fought for the club on that day, and after that day, to keep it alive. You showed that we can't just take the club for granted, that it has to be fought for, and that duty belongs to all of us.

Social Club Artefact Wednesdays - Paul Wade statuette (updated)

Genuine Paul Wade Socceroo statuette, as previously on display in the old
South Melbourne Hellas museum. I don't know who broke his arm,
 all I know is that wasn't me. Photo: Paul Mavroudis, on a budget digital camera,
 with clearly no idea about proper lighting.

I believe this item was in one of the glass display cabinets in our old museum. If you pay close attention, you can see that Paul Wade's left arm is broken - by what circumstance I do not know - and that someone has tried to patch it up using some sticky tape.

Quite what's going on here I'm not exactly sure. OK, so it's easy to tell that it's Paul Wade, one time South Melbourne Hellas and Socceroo captain (at the same time! Have a think about that fact kids!), and it's a reasonable likeness. Though it might just be me, but does his head look really elongated? Also, loved that jersey as well. Also, how about them white socks? Good to see they're bringing those back for the Socceroos world cup strip next year. It looks like they may also be signed as well, if you look next to the Mitre ball.

Genuine Paul Wade Socceroo statuette, belonging to beloved South fan
and friend of South of the Border Pavlaki, in much better condition
than the one the club owned. Also a much a better photo. 

If you want to see what one of these looks like in a far better condition - and with proper lighting - on the left hand side is one that our friend Pavlaki uploaded to Twitter a few months back to celebrate Paul Wade's arrival on Twitter (you can find him at @wadey06).

But who made these? How many were made? Where could you buy one? Were they made for other players as well or just for Wadey? Were these made in conjunction with his autobiography? Do any of our readers have their own Wadey statuette, or can fill in any details about this item?


Update! (16/8/2017)
Look, this is slightly embarrassing from my point of view, because it turns out I had the answer at my fingertips all along; or rather, the answer was located in a box in my house. For you see, some time ago (I think it was last year) through a complicated and rather dull arrangement I had borrowed a selection of Mark Boric's soccer magazine and match programme collection. The purpose of this was to scan and upload stuff for everyone, what with my access to half decent scanning at technology at uni... well wouldn't you know it I let everyone down. I got a little bored, but also pretty busy, and also the dam scanner started getting erratic with what it thought was a proper scan, and things just didn't get done. All up, mostly my fault, but also the fault of technology. Still, I got a few things uploaded, but missed some great stuff.

Anyway, last week I arranged for Mark to collect his stuff, and to borrow some copies of Soccer Action (from another friend of the blog, Con) that weren't in Mark's uploaded collection yet. Mark has already gone nuts in making up for all the lost time, uploading a stack of materials. And then in a Twitter discussion Mark was having with fellow match programme fiend Miles McClagan mention is made of a Paul Wade statue on page of 24 in the February-March 1993 edition of Soccer Australia magazine. It could only be one thing

Well, while the advertisement and order form pictured right doesn't say who made these, it still lets us know how you could get one and how much they cost, which was a staggering $189 plus $10 for postage, which is apparently $357.48 in today's money according to some maybe dodgy inflation calculator I used. Which seems very expensive, especially for a piece of Australian soccer memorabilia.