Deep Fried Anonymous Goo - South Melbourne 10 Keysborough 0

The crowd for our match, the first of a Saturday afternoon doubled header, was somewhere between 126 and 152 persons. Our starting line-up included eight changes from the team that started against Bulleen. Michael Eagar, Luke Adams and Milos Lujic started, with many other fringe players getting an extended run. Still, as one person noted, one could make the assertion that Lujic started as an insurance policy, while also asking where Kristian Konstatinidis was.

Nevertheless, we won this game easily as was expected of us, though we also butchered several opportunities going forward. All things considered, few of those fringe players really impressed, although some folk were pleased with Philzgerald Mbaka's ball skills, and Leigh Minopoulos was hungry, although also wayward and rusty. Still, Minopoulos' thieving of a Marcus Schroen shot that was already heading for goal was an indication of a certain keenness for the battle in a match in which we never had to exert ourselves.

Despite the odd lusty tackle from Keysborough, I assume none of the players that we used got anything other than the usual knocks you receive after playing a game of soccer. Iqi Jawadi was not even listed on the bench, and neither Brad Norton, Tim Mala nor the Peoples' Champ were used if they were at all listed. After the match Chris Taylor and his Senior Football Adviser ended up at the canteen almost as quickly as I did. Did the Cardinals' get close to scoring? There was some sort of action at the opposite end of the field early in the second half, but it wasn't really clear what was happening. They had a go, and their goalkeeper was able to have a laugh with Clarendon Corner behind the goals.

Other highlights included: a penalty shout which included a lot of animated pointing to the spot on the ground where one of our players believed the foul had taken place; several Zaim Zeneli chants; an inane discussion on politics which stopped short of discussing whether the BDS movement is justified in its actions; the assistant referee giving us a smile, but no wave; and the compulsory appearance during the second half of Heidelberg United coach George Katsakis or one of his Saddam Hussein-esque body doubles - either way, credit must go to George for coming to more of our games than many of our so called fans, especially those who prefer living it up on the internet.

The draw for the next round, which will be a midweek affair played some time in late April I think, will probably take place on Monday. Only one NPL team was eliminated, which was Northcote (see the 'around the grounds' segment), but some of the low hanging fruit of NPL2 also got eliminated or otherwise failed to impress even winning their fixtures.

Still, we'll probably get drawn against Melbourne Knights again. To which all one can say to the corrupt FFV and FFA lackies who will be responsible for that farce is 'make it so'.

Next game
Richmond away on Thursday night, the same night at the Socceroos play Tajikistan in Adelaide. So you can either go to Adelaide and see a horrible match alongside horrible people, or come to Kevin Bartlett Reserve instead.

AGM this Wednesday night at 7:00PM
To attend, you must have been a financial member of the club in 2015. Last time around I think I spent a lot of time making silly tweets. Maybe I'll take more notes this time.

South Melbourne online merchandise store now available
Head to this link. If items appear to be missing (for me, it was the replica jerseys for some reason, maybe because a non-conformist browser), just do a search for South Melbourne on the site and they will should come up in the results. I have been told that items such as hoodies, jackets, tracksuits, heritage tops will also be available at some point, even if you can't quite see them now...

Update
Thanks to Geordie Hellas to alerting us to the fact that if you click on the 'pre-order- tab, you can see the various replica kit options.

Dim sim disappointment during the intermission

Fancy dim sims at @NorthcoteCity #FFACup pic.twitter.com/uVsv7cp352

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

With the spreading popularity and availability of the South Melbourne dim sim, we have seen certain imitators try to carve out a niche of their own in the large dim sim market. I had been told that these were tasty, and the packaging too was very promising - if the probably highly racist caricature on the paper bag was any indicator. However the product itself was incredibly disappointing. Apart from the people working in the Northcote canteen not cooking them through properly, which required me to throw out the two dimmies I had purchased, the meaty filling was mostly a bland sludge.

International Year of the Fence

Fence at John Cain Memorial Park #FFACup #fencegate #fencebitters #internationalyearofthefence pic.twitter.com/gdAZHHzQ5o

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

As with Port Melbourne's fence the other week, I would like to know how exactly a metal fence gets a hole in it like that. Any thoughts on what it would take for that kind of damage to occur is more than welcome.

The ox is slow, but the earth is patient

Still no seat or back window at bus stop opposite Darebin International Sports Centre. @ptv_official pic.twitter.com/4peZp7qaVb

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) March 19, 2016

As it was when we visited Northcote a few weeks ago. Someone at Public Transport Victoria's getting the sack (or at least a demotion) when this tweet goes viral.

Scurrilous gossip department
Which South Melbourne committee member has allegedly told his wife that he's quit smoking, only to be seen smoking like a chimney at John Cain Memorial Reserve yesterday?

Need more umlauts
I think it's time that Marcus Schroen became Märcüs Schröen. More metal.

Tibbzy FC
Make of this whatever you will. A warning however for those of you who get set sick easily when watching dizzy camera work - this has a truckload of that.


Around the grounds
I had a photo for this segment, but something went wrong
Of those few South fans who had turned up to the South Melbourne-Keysborough match, few stayed behind to watch was expected to be one of the more closely contested cup ties of this round, that being the match between NPL struggler Northcote and NPL2 West mid ranking side St Albans. Now these teams had previously had a level of rivalry, even animosity, which I considered more or less confined to Northcote's Trent Rixon era, but the 'we hate Northcote' chant from the Dinamo fans on the hill suggested the resentment continued, at least from their side. Put very simply, everyone knew that Northcote would lose this game, and that it was only a matter of how and when St Albans would break the deadlock. That it took until well into the second half, and only after several crosses narrowly missed by both sides, made the game more interesting as a spectacle. The winning goal, when it did come, was actually atypical of the kind of play that had taken place up to that point - an ambitious long range strike hit the crossbar, rebounding to a bloke who used to struggle to score goals when he was at Altona East, who had an easy tap in. Since Northcote can't buy a goal in 2016 - just one so far from five matches, and that was from a penalty - that was the game there and then.

Final thought
'Where were the hooped socks?', lamented one of the members of Clarendon Corner yesterday. Where indeed.

Everyone loves Hellas - South Melbourne 2 Heidelberg United 1

While very, very happy to get the win, it was to me a pretty ordinary game from both sides. That we won at all, despite being the worse of the two sides - I won't say outplayed, because I think the Bergers weren't much chop either on Wednesday - for most of the night, I think it was our sheer force of will that managed to get us through. It has been a common theme of the Chris Taylor era that more or less, even if the team is not playing particularly well, it still persists right until the final whistle. South Melbourne fight to the end, as the chant goes.

The game was far from the quality and entertainment of the most recent league meeting between the two sides. The Bergers looked better, if only because what they were trying to do seemed more straightforward. Meanwhile we had Milos Lujic and David Stirton collecting balls on the wing on the halfway line. I couldn't really see us working our way back into the game, but we did it, thanks in part to everyone's favourite indentured labourer.

Double for Epifano who send South to #DockertyCup final . #smfc fans must be loving him ! Oh ,wait … #HUvSM

— Adrian Moraru (@Mielu8) July 15, 2015

If only this was medieval times, we could have cut out his tongue by now, maybe chopped off his typing fingers as well. The first goal, a back-post-right-place-right-time effort, got us back on level terms. Our eagerness to then finish off the game before extra time was in some ways commendable, but also led to other problems - namely our players running into each other instead of talking to each other like experienced senior players should. Of course you'd rather two players be where the action is rather than none, but it looked sloppy, and almost cost us a goal when Nikola Roganovic had the ball dislodged from his grasp by colliding with a team mate.

Now George Katsakis thought the penalty we got was pretty soft, but I thought it was fine. I suppose that's another thing George and I will have to disagree on. Considering that Lujic and Stirton now have incurable stage fright when it comes to penalty taking, it made sense to have Epifano take it considering he was the last one to score from the spot. And another thing - if it seems like we've been getting more than our fair share of penalties of late, there's probably a good reason for that - we're actually getting the ball and players into the opposing team's 18 yard box on a regular basis, unlike the Peter Tsolakis era where the Trifiros conspired to keep the ball as far as away from there as possible.

Anyway, the win means we're into the final of the Dockerty Cup for the first time since 1995. Of course, prior to the recent recall of cup football in this state, the Dockerty Cup was in recess for almost that entire time, apart from 2004 (on a side note, I recently learned out that despite our problems in 2004, we actually entered the Dockerty Cup, albeit forfeiting to Bulleen Zebras). We'll be playing Oakleigh Cannons, who defeated Hume last night.

The final will be at Lakeside, which has pissed off people of diverse stripes. First up the Oakleigh people, who are probably aghast at the fact that they're being asked to travel more than five minutes away from home, let alone to 'our' ground. Then you have the strange complaint by people who won't even be participating in the game, that being some Knights fans and of course George Katsakis. Is it our fault that we have the best soccer ground outside of AAMI Park? Doesn't the very real possibility that we'll get done on our own turf thrill these people even a little?

Thinking out loud (too loud, maybe)
While George Katsakis is exactly the kind of pantomime villain you want coaching your biggest rival, his dismissal (along with assistant Jeff Olver) by the officials late in the game, while amusing from a distance, is alleged to have been fueled in part by alleged abusive comments from a member of the South personnel on the bench. Someone on the forum reckons racism was involved. Now I have no idea whether any of Katsakis' complaints are based on fact, but let's for a moment assume that they are.

If someone from South (and in this case, not a fan, but an 'official' part of the match day team) made a racist comment, how would the club handle it? Following the repeated failure to adequately punish Nick Epifano for his indiscretions, let alone prevent him from repeatedly racially abusing our supporters, how would the club go about sanctioning someone else? Therefore let's hope there's nothing to it, and that we can focus our attention on getting security to demand a kid stops playing a whistle. You know, the big issues.

Meanwhile Cliff Hussey is still waiting for justice to be served, but that's his own fault I suppose for not being a goal scoring winger beloved by the people that count most.

More Katsakis
Apparently our old mate George (who was apparently still complaining about the penalty decision in the Bergers social club during the Hume vs Oakleigh semi final) was complaining to Leo that Heidelberg weren't fed after the last league fixture we hosted against them. Well here's a message from me to you, George - get in line. South supporters have been waiting for a meal at South for five and a half years.

Crowd count
Our crowd counter reckoned there were 330 people in attendance last night, which went up to 331 when James Belias turned up. The FFV radio broadcast of the Hume vs Oakleigh game stated that it was 480 paid attendees, so not counting everyone that got in on a freebie.

The sound of silence
There was no music played on which to report.

Next game - please note that this week's game against Hume has been postponed
This week's scheduled game at home against Hume has been postponed by a month, due to Real Madrid being given the use of Lakeside Stadium on Sunday for a training session who knows what the actual reason is. Maybe Roma is using the ground, maybe it was booked weeks in advance, maybe we moved aside gracefully, maybe we asked for the postponement deliberately because Chris Taylor and South Melbourne felt like it, and what Chris Taylor and South Melbourne want, Chrisy Taylor and South Melbourne get (*except a social club). Our next game therefore will be on Saturday week away to Pascoe Vale, at CB Smith Reserve.

Iqi Jawadi off to Germany to do Afghani things
Iqi Jawadi is off to Germany this week to be part of an Afghan national team squad training camp. He'll be back in time for the Pascoe Vale game though, which is good. It's a good thing we have this week off.

No one is happy, and what's more, no one should ever be happy
Stan: I can't hold it in anymore! I missed this! 
Francine: What are you talking about? 
Stan: This! Him! The non-existent letters! There's nothing written on this! That's all off the top of his head! I missed this silly son of a bitch! 

While on the surface of it, the announcement of some sort of partnership or relationship between ourselves and Real Madrid seems lame, opportunistic and thin on detail - detail which will apparently be filled in at a later date - there really is no point in me tearing it to pieces because being in a good mood (owing to winning on Wednesday) means that I will give the club the benefit of the doubt... for now.

Far more enjoyable is to watch several competing factions duke it out, inadvertently creating meaning out of a meaningless document. Is it an excuse to celebrate? Sure, why not; if you want to prematurely ejaculate over something, when all South has shown anyone yet is a bit of cleavage (and for all you know it could just be two coconuts in that brassiere), go for it. Want to hate the club for pulling more stupid stunts when we're still waiting for a social club? Again, plenty of opportunity for self-flagellation there as well. Happen to be a Croatian on smfcboard who wants to join in the fun? You can be the peeping tom hiding in the bushes groping yourself. See, plenty of enjoyment for everyone.

Now of course the partnership or relationship or whatever does look incredibly silly when you have, among other things

• no detail released yet
• allegations of board member self-interest
• Luka Modric turning up to Knights training
• AFL heads doing their best to make it all about themselves
• Complimentary tickets being given out to South members for the one game of this nonsense international circus that Real aren't a part of

and the funny thing about these tickets is that at no stage did I receive an email, nor did many others who might expect to have been notified of this offer. The usually trigger happy South media team also seem to have buried it.

For the record, if you want tickets to the Roma-Manchester City game on Tuesday, you'll have to be a financial member, go to Leo's office n Brunswick during business hours and hope that the tickets haven't all gone. Why not at the club offices at MSAC? Who knows. Why not publicised more? Dunno. Are these 300 tickets from the Victorian government in lieu of having our social club? I doubt it, but whatever, being a burden on the taxpayer I was able to make it out to Leo's to pick up my tickets. Now I have to decide who to take with me, a classic sitcom scenario.

You shouldn't have seen that, but you did (unless you didn't)
The recent doco that George Donikian and friends have been making? Well, someone uploaded the South Melbourne portion to youtube, someone else (or maybe the same person!) put a link up on the FourFourTwo forums, and then I put up the link on Twitter, after barely watching any of it because I had to go run some errands. Then I find out it got taken down, and later that it shouldn't have been up at all! Anyway, I can't wait until it comes out properly, so I can pick apart all the mistakes and agendas. I believe it will be shown on FoxSports before the FFA Cup match against Palm Beach.

Not even trying anymore
An old man, an Islander and some bloke wearing an NWO hoodie get on to the train. They are of course ticket inspectors. Despite the pisspoor disguises, I did get a kick from the multi layered irony of someone wearing New World Order gear being a part of the increasing police state. Or something to that effect.

Final thought

9 years, 5 months and 25 days for New Horizons to reach Pluto. Incidentally, that's my new benchmark for when @smfc will get a social club.

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) July 15, 2015

2014 season getting closer! Hurrah!

I'm Bored, You're Bored
This week has seen the senior squad begin the long road to avoiding our longest league title drought - in other words, pre-season training has started. After missing out on the supposed seven year itch omen last year, our record of the eight years it took to win a title after leaving the state leagues in 1976 stands to fall if we don't pull our finger out this season.

Player Points System Is Here!
Well, well, well. Here we go. We get 275 points this season, fewer in subsequent seasons, unless the PFA pull their finger out and do something major. Once again, here's the gist. Everyone is worth 10 base points, and then gets points added or taken away based on a whole bunch of criteria. In a nutshell, here's what's 'good' and 'bad'.


Players you'll tend to want include:

• Those who came up through your junior system.
• Local players.
• Players who are 25 or under.
• Players you already have.

Players you don't want as much:

• Players brought up through the junior wings of other clubs.
• Foreign players.
• Players over 25.
• Players from other clubs.

Now, a very important addition to all this is the fact that you will now only be able to have two visa players. They'll cost you 20 points at a minimum. The FFV's explanatory PDF says:

Any player who is not an Australian Citizen, or does not have Permanent Residency status, is considered a Visa Player.

Which should make things easier and more lenient than I expected. There;s also scope for what they call a 'marquee' player, who is described as"

who was playing in a fully professional league the previous season, and subsequently signs for an NPL club.

Lastly, you also get bonus points in your cap for having players get promoted to the A-League or an Australian based pathway. It does not appear to count if your player gets sold overseas first.

So, Who's Gonna Save Us? (and will we come in under the points cap?)
Well, pinching a whole bunch of Northcote players didn't work. Pinching a whole bunch of Thunder players didn't work, though it did get us closer. How about getting players from both of those teams!

Re-signed/Apparently sticking around

• Dimi Tsiaras - despite getting increasingly limited game time, has re-signed. Will provide decent cover even if he's not in the starting eleven.
• Nick Epifano - fell away badly toward the end of last season, so will be interesting to see if he finds the form that initially made him one of the more valuable mid-season acquisitions.
• Tim Mala - probably the weakest of the Dandenong acquisitions in 2013, but beggars can't be choosers. 
• Tyson Holmes - signed a two year deal. Steve from Broady will be happy.
• Brad Norton - has been signed up for our 2014 plans.
• Iqi Jawadi - apart from being one of the Dandenong Thunder boys, played in the friendly the 21s played against Selangor late last year.
• Shaun Kelly - will need to adapt to a new partner. Did well again last season, but Bran going will mean that perhaps more attention will be paid again to his performances

New players/invited to train/rumoured

• Michael Eagar - defender from Northcote. Dual citizenship helps his and our cause when it comes to visa spots.
• Matthew Theodore - midfielder from Dandenong Thunder. This was apparently a done deal last season (or as much as deals can possibly be done back during that period of time, which resembles more the primordial ooze than anything concrete and stable). Young, lots of experience at this level.
• Anthony Giannopoulos - after having spent the second half of last year at Sunshine George Cross in state league one, where he apparently played well predominantly as a left back (as opposed to his usual under 21s forward position), he's apparently been training with the side. Whether he'll be able to make the step up is anyone's guess.
• More players of unknown provenance.
• Kieran Gonzalez - Green Gully's goalkeeper has been thrown up as a possible replacement for the retired Peter Gavalas.
• Milos Luic - Northcote's star forward had been thrown up as a possible acquisition, pending him not being picked up by an A-league team. While his initial attempt to get on Sydney FC's books didn't work out, it looks like he's got at least a temporary spot at Wellington Phoenix.

Who's gone so far? (and who else may be going?)
Remembering that it is pre-season, and that there are new rules to play by this season, it's a scenario that's been complicated beyond the usual 'can we afford him/does he want to play for us/is he under contract' shenanigans.

Now we also have to deal with a 275 player points cap (which will probably be reduced in the coming seasons), which penalises teams who recruit heavily, rely on visa players, and generally favour older, non-own club products to younger, crafted by your own hand players.

Definite outs

• Bryan Bran, supposedly to FC Chabab, an ethnic Moroccan team playing in the Dutch third division (which is a recent attempt to bridge the gap between amatuer and professional football there, or so Wikipedia says.
• Trent Rixon, gone back to Northcote. A shame, but not entirely unexpected.
• Alan Kearney - apparently to Dandenong Thunder. For whatever reason, looked like he was falling out of favour once the new signings came in during last year's mid-season transfer window. The limit of visa spots has not helped his claim I would think.
• Peter Gavalas, retired, a big hole to fill, whether you rated him or not.
• Fernando De Moraes, retired. Fare thee well, Nando.

In the maybe/likely/fucked if I know pile

• Luke Hopper - with only two visa spots available (and one of those being taken up by Shaun Kelly, the other probably to Nick Soolsma), he looks like the one that will miss out. Or will he? 
• Carl Recchia - supposedly going to Pascoe Vale - disappointing as he was allegedly paid throughout 2013 despite missing the entire season due to his knee injury. Though quite how much value he'll provide a season after a serious knee injury and at his age is anyone's guess.
• Renco Van Eeken - almost certainly gone back home. His chronic osteitis pubis problem is probably where our downward slide started in the first half of the season.
• Nicky Soolsma - the info on this keep changing, but the assumption at the moment is that he'll stay
• Chris Maynard  - I'm hearing disturbing things related to a shit attitude towards training. I hope this is not true, as a) we need a keeper b) I would rather have one of our youth products make the grade if he's good enough and c) I think it's fairly well known what Chris Taylor's attitudes to a slack attitude to training are.
• Rhys Meredith - Have heard he's gone back to Queensland. A pity, and a little bit of a surprise I think. At one point I thought that if either of the two Queenslanders was going to win a spot here, it would have been Rhys over Tyson, but the latter's late season form really turned a corner.
• James Karvelis - the young defender got a few games last season and actually did OK, but if he stays it looks like he'll be a back up player again.
• Nick Jacobs - despite my love of this player, have the gut feeling he's destined to be remembered as a future SMFC trivia question for his winning goal against Southern Stars in 2012. Still young though, so hopefully he's still deemed worthy of overcoming his injury problems and giving it a real crack.
• Matko Budimir - the big defender probably should have got more game time last year, but for whatever reasons didn't. Not sure what his future holds. Would like to see him given a chance, but I'm not sure it's in his best interests to stick around.
• Baggio Yousif - apparently left for Hume. Scored a ton of goals and seemed to take up a lot of the on field leadership slack after Giannopoulos left the 21s last year. While 21s football is not senior football by any stretch, I'm actually disappointed to see him go.
• Erdem Ozcagli - assume he will be staying.
• Andrew Cartanos - got more senior game time than most from the 21s last season, but I'm not personally convinced by him. Would love to be proven wrong.

So when do we get to start seeing them in action?
No firm dates for friendly or trial matches have come forth yet, though some other clubs are apparently getting into gear. But on that note. here's what one of the peoples on the old smfcboard posted recently:


George Katsakis interviewed by George Karandonis on Rythmos 1656 just before where he stated Heidelberg are conducting a tournament that starts on Sunday Jan 26th.

Confirmed teams:

• South
• Heidelberg
• Oakleigh
• Bentleigh
• Port
• Sydney Olympic
• West Adelaide 

 Nearly confirmed:

• Hobart Olympic 
  

Declined to participate:

•  Northcote City

Further to that information, my mail is that Hobart Olympia will not participate in this tournament, but will be heading down to Melbourne to play a couple of games against us. Another chance for Jake Vandermey to show his worth against his old mob?

It's a pity we don't get an interstate trip, as was mooted towards the end of last year, but since Melbourne is the centre of the Greek-Australian universe, it makes sense for everyone else to come to us.

Of course, this hasn't been confirmed as of yet beyond the radio broadcast, so expect some changes. One of the Football Anarchy Sydney Olympic fans has pointed out that the NSWPL pre-season cup starts in the first week of February.

Quite why they're proposing to start on Sunday 26th - instead of say, starting on the night of Friday 24th, taking advantage of the whole of the Australia Day long weekend is anyone's guess. The Groundskeeper Willie of smfcboard has also noted that Olympic Village's turf is not in good nick.

AGM 2012 - Onwards Toward the Final Victory!

One could argue that I'm here to provide a public service. But at the same time, the AGMs are for members only, so why should we spill all the beans to those who aren't members of the club, or who can't be bothered making the effort to turn up?

Anyway, yes, the Australia Day long weekend was a crap time to host this delayed event, but the turnout was still made up of pretty much exactly the same people you'd normally expect to see, give or take a couple of people on holidays and one or two who slept in and missed it.

Money
The club recorded its first profit since the Brazil adventure. There was no applause for this milestone. A sign of maturity from the members?

Social Club
Will it be ready by the time they want? Have to wait until FA Cup night. Here's hoping for a Brentford vs Luton final.

Women
The club as usual claims progress is being made. I get the feeling that the two parties are still on very different wavelengths.

National Competitions Review
Not much change from the last time we talked about this. The FFV and FFA insist it will go ahead in 2014. Off the record, one proponent suggests that most of the VPL clubs acknowledge this fact, and that they are beginning to at least consider applying for an 'elite' licence. George Koukoulas, who is a member of the FFV men's standing committee, claims the opposite, that most of the clubs are still fundamentally opposed. South claims it is prepared for either eventuality. The FFV comes put with its next stage of recommendations and and possibly bidding process information in two weeks.

Vote Early, Vote Often
An election is due at the next AGM. Unlike all the post-NSL elections, which have seen no rival tickets showing their hand (despite murmurings at the time that there would be), we could see some more action for two reasons.

Firstly, this will be the first elections after the FFV's constitutional reforms which saw players and parents of junior players added automatically to the list of people who can vote. In our case, we have been assured in previous AGMs that these people will only be eligible to run for SMFC and not SMH (the SC got dropped off the end of SMHSC at the previous AGM)

Secondly, there is the obvious dissatisfaction with the current regime shown by former(?) board members George Koukoulas and Lucky Chrisomalidis. Will this be enough to get them to start their own ticket? And who would be on it? Whatever happens, I hope that there is at least some sort of opposition, not because I think the current board are doing a bad job, but just to see a different set of ideas so we can weigh them against what we have now.

Ruthlessness
The club needs to be more ruthless in vetting who is a member and who isn't, and in which meeting they should be in, and if they should in a meeting at all. Having the SMFC and SMH AGMs on separate days seems like an obvious solution to at least one of these issues.

Apparently Melbourne Knights are far more thorough with their arrangements, not even allowing notes to be taken (there goes my question sheet!) and all documents given out during a meeting to be returned at the end of the meeting - and if that doesn't happen, no one goes home. Sounds like another level of fun to be added.

Not Around The Grounds
I was disappointed with the representatives of the football department, when it came to explaining their attitudes towards going to watch other VPL and state league matches.

You see representatives of other clubs at grounds all the time, in their thick, club branded tracksuit jackets. I even made the quip (which got a few laughs!) that I see  Heidelberg coach George Katsakis at so many games that I sometimes think he's stalking me.

Yes, I have no life, and that is why I can be seen at 1-2 games a weekend which don't involve South. But I would expect to see South football department people at other games every now and again, instead of rarely. It's not just about scouting players and reconnaissance - it's about being seen mingling with the hoi polloi. It may not mean that we won't be seen as aloof, but at least they'll see us being aloof.

Farewell, Steve O'Dor
The rumour circulating during the off-season has been confirmed - Steve O'Dor has apparently retired, at least from VPL football. Work commitments appear to have taken their toll.

The Best Question
Someone, I assume new to this whole experience, asked about a rumour he read on the internet about whether we were going to take over Melbourne Heart. This is what happens when you let your children read FourFourTwo forums unsupervised.

A Day To Remember - Heidelberg United 2 South Melbourne 5

Yesterday might not have been an argument for the FFV's proposed National Competitions Review reforms. But it certainly provided a solid argument that something needs to change.

It was an appalling crowd, even taking into account the poor seasons of both clubs, the decline of second tier crowds in general, and the decline of this once great derby. If there were 300 people there as reported by some, then half of them must have been in the Bergers' social club.

The Bergers, as is perhaps becoming the norm with struggling and even not completely struggling teams throughout the divisions, could barely manage to muster a reserves team. Reportedly starting with just nine players, they were 7-0 down before three of their players became injured, and the game was abandoned.

The field was atrocious, one of the worst I've ever seen at this level. Dribbling was almost impossible. Passes were only good if sent skimming across the surface rather than rolling. Players from both sides kept losing their footing, often without opposition interference.

The atmosphere, apart from Clarendon Corner going all out for one last hurrah before moving into at least semi-retirement, was dire. There have been Hellenic Cup matches with more of an edge than this, and not just because of a price hike in the price of souvlakia for the finals day.

The game itself at least had a couple of sides that tried to provide some sort of entertainment value. Heidelberg struggled to get too many chances, but were efficient initially. Some better crossing from our end would have seen a higher score, but who's complaining? Rixon, who came on in the second half for the first time since his six match suspension was ended, smashed a well hit shot against the crossbar. Another goal - possibly in the same sequence of play - was disallowed for offside. But we also had a smidgen of luck for once as well - one of our goals in the first half hit the post, went across the face of goal, hitting the hapless Heidelberg goalie before going in.

It was the first time we'd scored five against the Bergers since the NSL days, and the first time we'd beaten them three times in a row since that era as well. Don't ask for specificities on that though. Shaun Kelly, brought across mid-season for defensive replenishment, ended up as our top scorer for the season with a tally of four goals. Baggio Yousif managed to add his name to the list of South scorers, as did Matko Budimir.

Clarendon Corner had a ten year birthday/reunion celebration of sorts. Word is that the concept is being put into at least semi-hibernation. Six seasons of slop and a lack of new members will do that to people. There were a couple of new banners for the occasion, a march to the ground, solid chanting and some spirited moshpit activity.

Heidelberg Harismidis, in his role as ballboy, had a few chants and cheers directed his way, all in good fun. Somewhere between idiot savant and noble savage, and yet actually being possessed by something completely different altogether, his runs and up and down the sidelines of the VPL grounds will be missed, sort of.

Even George Katsakis, that most diehard of Alexandrians, managed to laugh along with a Clarendon Corner chant at his expense ('my cheesecake shop, is better/bigger than yours', I think it was). Gus Tsolakis pulled out a little party trick with a behind the leg pass from a ball going out of play. It was that kind of day, that kind of season. Both coaches have seen better days.

As far as we have fallen, at this stage at least we have not reached the depths that Heidelberg have fallen to. Yes, we hate them, want to thrash them, but it is also true that upon their eventual demise (should it actually happen) they will take with them a part of us. They are our shadow (our unheimlich, perhaps) - less successful for the most part, a perennial warning to what could happen to us if we ever get too hubristic, which is never too far away at South.

Later this week, we'll start talking about the NCR. Next week some time, I'll dish out my awards and a season review. I don't know about what the Kiss of Death has planned for the finals or for their awards, having being unable to provide content for the last month, and seeing as how they didn't manage to get an awards post up last season.

I can't promise much regular posting after that. Since I actually sorta work now, I have writing and reading that needs to be done for that part of my existence. But the NCR and social club work will keep us all enthralled. There'll be a best and fairest evening and an AGM.

Thank yous of course come at the end of the season, and you can wait your turn.

South Melbourne Hellas: the musical - Kiss of Death, Round 11, 2012

Kiss of Death vs Arthur Papas Euro 2012 Tipping
After the group stage, the Kiss of Death trails Arthur Papas 12 points to 13. Here are their quarter finals tips.

Czech Republic v Portugal (KOD) 1-3 (AP) 1-2
Germany v Greece (KOD) 0-1 (AP) 2-0
Spain v France (KOD) 2-1 (AP) 2-0
England v Italy (KOD) 2-0 (AP) 0-1


Friday 8:30 PM Oakleigh Cannons (4th) v Bentleigh Greens (2nd)
It started as a rumours on soccer-forum.net, then it was confirmed that Oakleigh coach Huss Skenderovic has been sacked. Strange really. He hasn’t been doing too bad and he has them in 4th. Weirder things have happened I suppose. How Bentleigh are second just shows how fucked this league really is. They hardly threatened last weekend against South Melbourne, yet won with an 85th minute penalty. Oakleigh had a 3-2 away loss at Northcote last weekend. They equalised 2-2 in the 88th, yet copped the third in the 90th. Both these teams are playing their second Greek derby in a row. The pressure is on. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Bentleigh Greens 2.

STOP PRESS! - posted at 9:19am Friday
Oakleigh players revolted against coach after last weeks loss.......
Sunday night - Huss Skenderovic is sacked
Sunday night - George Katsakis appointed coach of Oakleigh
Monday morning... players get wind of appointment
Monday afternoon - Oakleigh board are notified that players are revolting if Katsakis has been appointed
Monday night - Katsakis sacked as coach of Oakleigh
Tuesday morning - Zois and Theo appointed


Friday 8:30 PM Richmond (10th) v Dandenong Thunder (1st)
Richmond was eaten and spat out by the Knights last weekend 1-0 while Dandenong had a convincing 3-0 win over Green Gully. Dandenong will be the team to beat. Unfortunately Richmond will not be able to beat them. Richmond 0 – Dandenong Thunder 4.

Saturday 3:00 PM Green Gully Cavaliers (6th) v Northcote City (3rd)
This should be an exciting encounter. One team is defensively content in their approach, while the other one fights 'til the end. Northcote always win at Gully and this weekend will be no different. Green Gully Cavaliers 1 – Northcote City 2.

Saturday 7:00 PM Southern Stars (8th) v Melbourne Knights (7th)
Southern Stars drew at Hume last weekend, while the Knights did what they had to do against Richmond. Marth, I suppose, has settled well for now, but only time will tell if he can survive. Big crowd expected for this one. Southern Stars 2 – Melbourne Knights 2.

Sunday 3:00 PM Moreland Zebras (11th) v Hume City (5th)
The ‘same home ground’ derby. Both these teams are playing out of the same venue, so how shit the food will be is anyone's guess. They seriously need to get the bar and canteen sorted out. I had some food there once and I didn’t make it out of Epping. Anyhoo, this game is of no interest to the Victorian football public, that’s why it’s being played in the middle of nowhere. Epping Stadium is a white elephant and a half. This will be a shit game. Moreland Zebras 0 – Hume City 0.

Sunday 5:00 PM South Melbourne (9th) v Heidelberg United (12th)

How depressing. Where I should be writing an article about how South is going to absolutely pummel the Bergers, I sit here at my desk nervous about this weekend's encounter. In order to ease the nerves, I will talk about last week's loss at Bentleigh. The usual South stuff. Play teams off the park with pretty one touch short passing football, and we lose to a bunch of ugly long ball playing panel beaters. “What else we can do”, once said a certain president of a now state league 2 club. I got there early to watch the U21’s. Reffing was woeful, South should’ve won. Had a good laugh at the moron who wouldn’t shut up about how he paid $9 for, and I quote, “Man this is the shittest souv I’ve ever eaten, and I paid 9 bucks for it, what a fucken joke”. Get over it tightass. Then I sat back on the bodgiest grandstand and witness one of the Trifiros go through the middle, hit the post, celebrate, then realise it went for a goalkick. If we ain't jinxed then I don’t know who is. Second half and more of the same. Then a handball appeal which the ref gives to Bentleigh as a peno. They score, we abuse the players/board/coaches/peanut man/a couple of saints and holy figures and go home. Another riveting South Melbourne performance. This week Heidelberg is on the menu. Will we beat them? That’s a question I might be able to answer if the moons align and I feel good. Must we beat them? Um hello, no shit Sherlock. If we lose to the Bergers, the entire coaching staff must be sacked. Enough excuses. I know people on the South board read this blog. You have an obligation to the members. South Melbourne 8 – Heidelberg United 0 (This is only because Moreland Zebras scored 4 against them last week, and I think we are double the talent of Moreland). Anything less is a poor result.

Late Breaking News
George Katsakis has retaken the reigns at the Bergers. This is a bad thing for South. Every time a team gets a new coach, they perform, and usually win. Will definitely be a shit match for South. This coach has a way of lifting his players regardless of how low their morale or ladder position might be. He is the only coach I see week in, week out at other matches. Hard worker all round. Was also present at South 1-0 loss last week at Bentleigh. Even he was shaking his head at Souths performance ! Ah fuck.

Admin Stuff
A request to all South Melbourne fans who read this blog. Please light a candle for our beloved South Melbourne. If we keep going along like this, not even a bushfire will be enough.

Join me in prayer every evening at 9.08pm AEST, with the following:

Dear God,

Please disregard all the prayers that are being said for the other team.

Amen

• Rumour has it that SMFC will be holding an interfaith service next week IF they lose to the Bergers. Great idea, but our religion is SMFC.
• Rumours going around last Friday at Bentleigh were that we have been “evil eyed” and we have had a curse put on us. So get the priest down there and bless everyone, or get a few golden toothed old ladies to remove the “evil eye” from the stadium, and everyone involved at the club. I have the gift of “xematiasma”, and you can contact me at kodvic@gmail.com
• Lakeside stadium needs a DJ who can play to the mood of the crowd. I have selected some songs specific to the events at Lakeside, mainly losses:

Otan Pethano Thapste Me (When I die, bury me) Stratos Pagioumtzis


Synefiasmeni Kyriaki (Cloudy Sunday) Stelios Kazantzidis


Se xilious duo mpelades (A couple thousand problems) Manolis Mitsias


Svise me Kira mou (Turn me off woman) Manolis Aggelopoulos


Gia ta lefta ta kaneis ola (You do everything for money) Antipas


Eimai se katastasi ektaktou anagis (I’m in a position of urgent need) Makropoulos


Yakety Sax (The Benny Hill Theme)- Boots Randolph (the editor has decided to be a smartass and present instead Yakety Axe, as performed by Chet Atkins.)

South of the Border awards 2009

Collect and prepare ingredients from February-August. Simmer over low heat for a couple of days. Post and leave to cool on blog windowsill and be ignored by everyone.

Player of the year: Sebastian Petrovic. Even George Katsakis was impressed with his performances this year.

Under 21 player of the year: The Cliff Hussey Memorial Trophy goes to James Spanos. Rare for a player to go through an entire season and not make a single mistake, but he did it.

Goal of the year: Goran Zoric's fourth goal against Preston at BT Connor. Flick, volley, from outside the box, top corner, 7-1, good night nurse.

Best performance over a whole match: Bergers away. Too bad we couldn't score a goal to go with it.

Best period of play during the season: Probably the first 20 minutes of the 2nd half against the Knights at Lakeside. We kinda looked like we could do anything then.

Best away game: Richmond. Good company (except for Psile, who was in hiding from Victorious), good food, good win, and the Pies got up by a point as well.

Best call on the terraces: The old bloke who'd fainted/collapsed at the home game against Hume. When the ambulance arrived and he'd seemingly partially recovered he apparently asked them if he could stay to watch the second half. I was saddened to hear that this person, apparently a member for over 40 years, passed away a few weeks ago. My condolence to his family and friends. I hope I still have the same love for this club in 40 years time.

Chant of the year: Come On Hellas! Forza! Hellas!. Yes it's a chant from 2008, but one which was only chanted with any enthusiasm once the bloke who created it fucked off to Poland.

Thanks for the peanuts, but seriously

Or how the global financial crisis is hitting Green Gully fans hard.

I was at Altona East today, and after watching two lacklustre games, I figured that I've got my media pass with me, why not watch the qualifying final next door between Altona Magic and Green Gully?

Not a bad crowd considering the small fanbases these two clubs have, as well as the complete irrelevance of this competition to everyone. Some interested onlookers included South assistant coach Phil Peladrinos, two game senior veteran Stefaan Sardelic, spanakopita heir/Heidelberg coach George Katsakis, and remakarbly, even FFV CEO Mark Rendell.

The game being a 6 goal, extra time, penalty shoot out thriller had its moments, but you can read about those elsewhere. What those match reports won't tell you is about how hard Green Gully's fans are doing it in this difficult economic climate. The stimulus packages don't seem to have trickled down to Green Gully Reserve though.

The reason I say this is because rather than purchase any food or drink from the venue - and Altona Magic is one of the cheapest canteens in the VPL - the Gully fans, a whole swathe of them, came prepared with everything they needed. Thermoses full of coffee, a sugar box, paper cups, biscuits, scones. Even the peanut/pumpkin seed man got the short end of the stick, as Gully's fans had even brought their own peanuts (which admittedly some of which they offered me).

My thinking on these matters has always been that either you buy food or drink at the ground, or you take care of all that business before the game and discreetly. The flaunting of their refusal to partake of the local delicacies was most intriguing, and gives one wild ideas about going absolutely nuts with the idea: Clarendon Corner bake sale fundraiser at Green Gully next year?