Windy - Pascoe Vale 0 South Melbourne 0

This game's only highlight as a South fan was watching the ordeal of some of the Pascoe Vale volunteers looking for a stray ball that had landed in the front yard of one of the houses behind the southern end of the ground. Being in the running for three competitions is great, but it puts a strain on your resources, and your priorities also go on walkabout somehwat. So whi;e Bentleigh scraped a draw against Port, meaning we had a great chance to make up some of the difference, instead of taking advantage of that opportunity we played lacklustre football inappropriate for the windy conditions, probably with more than one eye on not exhausting ourselves for the FFA Cup match on Wednesday.

We played conservatively in the first half, which I suppose is understandable considering the fact that we played against a very strong wind; but our second half performance was no better. David Stirton had the best chance for us in the game in the first half, when instead of heading home a cross he tried to nurse home a volley and missed it completely. Apart from collecting an over hit cross, the Pascoe Vale goalkeeper's only exertion was to make a witty and self-deprecating riposte to some banter he received from the South fans behind the goal. At the other end of the ground, Pascoe Vale had two or three shots cleared off the line, and a number of botched attempts which should have resulted in goals.

And really, apart from the pizza man no longer being at the ground, apparently due to ill health, there's not much else to report from this game.

Next game - FFA Cup, preparations, where to meet, etcetera
Our next match is in the FFA Cup against Palm Beach Sharks on the Gold Coast, at Robina Stadium on Wednesday night. The following is some general info for those who are going up and what's going on, as well as for those in Melbourne who may want to watch the game with other South fans.

For those heading up to the Gold Coast:
The local Greek-Australian soccer club Surfers Paradise Apollo has posted the following relatively vague details on their Facebook page about South holding a training session at their ground, along with lunch.

The training session will be held at 9:30AM. Apollo's ground is about ten kilometres from Robina Stadium. Public transport is a less than convenient option in this case, so carpooling with hire cars or organising a taxi will be better options should you choose to go to Apollo's clubrooms first. Some other South fans will be drinking at the Dog and Parrot in Robina from 4:30 onwards. It's about three kilometres from the ground, or about a half an hour's walk.

As for the game itself, it appears that under the circumstances a reasonably healthy contingent of South fans is heading up, The numbers will hopefully be bolstered by members of Surfers Paradise Apollo and Brisbane Olympic. While not a decree by any means, it has been suggested that South fans should congregate together rather then spreading themselves throughout the stadium.

For the record, this writer will not be making the trip up for this game, due to work commitments.

For those watching the game in Melbourne:
While many of you will no doubt prefer to watch this in the comfort of your lounge room in suburbia, a group of the usual pre-match pub crew will be congregating at the Limerick Arms Hotel in South Melbourne, which is located on the south west corner of the Clarendon Street and Park Street intersection. Don't ask me about parking, but both the no. 12 and no. 1 trams stop at that intersection, making it a pretty convenient location on that front.

Can't make it to CBUS on Wednesday? Watch us live in Melbourne at our official live site on Clarendon Street! pic.twitter.com/jx77Ffka54

— South Melbourne FC (@smfc) July 27, 2015

The Limerick also seems to be offering a free drink if you follow the instructions below.

Hope to see as many of those South fans not going up to Queensland, at the Limerick instead.

Around the grounds
Crawling
I took up an offer to watch Brunswick under 16s play Ballarat Red Devils up in Ballarat. That's what happens when your team's game gets postponed and you have nothing else to do. After my previous visit to watch this Brunswick team, I wasn't expecting much, but this time around the game resembled a soccer match. Neither side was particularly good, there were elementary errors aplenty, but at least it wasn't scrimmage ball. At the conclusion of the game, which I think Ballarat won 3-1 (but which is not important, because it's about development, not winning), I made note of the following things which troubled me and/or which I would like to see rectified.

• If Altona East's reserves know how to use their fullbacks for overlapping play, why was there not one overlapping play in this game? 
• Isn't part of the point of the 433 formation being made mandatory the fact that it's supposed to be the most flexible formation? Why then do so many NPL junior teams seem to use it so rigidly?
• Unless they're offering encouragement, I'd rather not hear what parents have to say during a game. I want to hear what the coach and players are saying to each other.
• Just because you're a bilingual parent, using Greek to express your bitchiness towards other players that aren't your son because you think that only you and the coach will understand, is not acceptable. It's actually deplorable.
• If you're the coach and you think you can gain an edge by giving an impromptu instruction to a player in a different language, by all means go for it. But don't single that player out for abuse in that language, especially in a way that you would dare not do in English to all the other players. You want to blow off some Greek cultural steam at the soccer? There's 30-40 Greek-Australian soccer clubs in Melbourne with senior men's teams that expect and can handle that kind of banter (just not South Melbourne, obviously).
• Skill level is one aspect of the curriculum that the NPL and its affiliated reforms will be judged on in the future, but right here, right now, surely we can teach defenders about the offside rule and how they can use it to their advantage. Soccer is not Australian rules football. You don't need to chase your direct opponent everywhere. If they want to be offside, let them.
• That when Margaret Thatcher said that 'there is no such thing as society', she could have well been talking about the NPL.

The cake I had was OK. Always finish on a positive. that's my motto.

I scowl, therefore I am
Why did I go to the Roma vs Manchester City game? The availability of free tickets alone couldn't have been the answer, though heading to Leo Athanasakis' Brunswick office provided an excuse to also go across to Brunswick Savers (I bought a coat). Was it just to go there and wear a trademark sneer or scowl? Perhaps, but I'd like to think that's not all I do. Nevertheless, I did pick up two tickets for this game, expecting little and getting about as much in return; though I did get to share the experience and have a good chat with Shoot Farken's Athas Zafiris, who was third in line for consideration for my spare ticket. The game either lived up or down to everyone's expectations. It was played at something between half and three quarter pace, there was too much space, and nothing at stake. At least there were goals, and a couple of them rather good ones. The penalty shoot out was completely unnecessary; but then again so was the countdown timer at the end of each half which was counted down with gusto by many in the crowd.

The crowd was reported as being about 41,000, which seemed about right, though it was also hard to tell because as a Collingwood supporter, for that number I'm used to seeing a usually a two thirds full Ponsford Stand, which was mostly empty along with the neighbouring MCC Members' Stand (apparently the MCC members had to pay to attend). While I'm not sure why I expected every South person who accepted a free ticket to be located in the same part of the stadium, the cynical part of me wondered how some people ended up on Level 2, some on Level 1, and some on Level 4. Not that it's such a big deal - it's hard even for me to complain about free tickets to a game that I otherwise wouldn't have gone to and besides, I've willingly sat in similar positions at the MCG for soccer and footy matches - but you just wonder sometimes.

It could have been worse: the view from level 4 of the Great Southern Stand prior to kick off. Photo: Paul Mavroudis.

Maybe I watch too much local soccer and conversely not enough overseas stuff on the television, but my reading of the action seemed to be out of synch with much of the crowd. While most of the game saw a very muted reaction from the crowd - aside from the goals and some bizarre early hatred for Raheem Sterling - there were some passages of play which to me clearly seemed like they weren't anything special or that they would lead to a goal, which were anticipated with heartfelt oohs and aahs. For the most part though the crowd came across as politely bored, with the muted paper plane invasion coming only during the last ten minutes or so. There was also no Mexican wave of which to speak.

It was hard to tell who outnumbered who in terms of actual supporters of the two sides. The organised 'active' Roma fans seemed to outnumber their Manchester City equivalent, but neither group made much of an impact on the atmosphere of the game. The cheers for the goals seemed to be even handed, probably because most of the crowd were neutrals who just wanted to be entertained, and at about $70 a ticket for the cheap seats that's the least they were entitled to I suppose. On the matter of ticket prices, I myself couldn't see the value at that price, and anecdotally at least it seems that there were a lot of free tickets that got thrown about for this match.

In terms of entertainment, I'm going to echo Athas' point made on the night that there should have been more show-boating. If the two sides weren't going to go in full bore (and as already stated, there was no reason to do so), they could have at least pulled out a few more daring dribbling maneuvers, or taken a few more shots on goal from range. Too often the game was a slopfest caused in part by well drilled players not knowing how to play in a game with no meaning and little intensity. Too many times it seemed as if players would rather take an extra touch, avoid a volleyed shot, make an extra pass or even prefer to get fouled rather than do something even remotely daring.

Meanness for the sake of meanness can be entertaining on occasion, especially when it cuts through far too much unnecessary treacle, but in the long run it gets boring. Going down to Level 1 to get a better look at the penalty shoot out, it became clear that those clearly most thrilled with the experience were the children. Not all the children, as it was a dull game despite the goals, and children do get bored easily; but there were kids thrilled with the simple fact of Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart not only taking a penalty, but successfully smashing it into the back of the net; the comically missed penalties provided a moment of clownish levity; and on the way back to Richmond station, and the train back home to Sunshine, the kids seemed happy with what they saw.

The problem, if you want to call it that, is that as much as we as soccer people would like to believe that these games by touring sides will usher in some sort of soccer golden age, by inspiring the children to play the game, next week there will be a different circus in town, and the week after that another one, and so on. I can see the point in Real Madrid touring, in terms of spreading their global brand; I can sort of see why Manchester City would tour, for similar reasons as Real Madrid, albeit with delusions of grandeur as to their own importance; but the point of Roma being here is less tangible, since their scope for marketing themselves is rather restricted by the reality of them not being an especially popular club outside of Italy.

These games have said a lot about Melbourne, and for the most part not very good things. The city has an image of itself as the 'sporting capital of the world', but what does that actually mean in reality? What does it say that we would rather pay for overpriced tickets to glorified practice matches, but ignore the local variants (and I include the A-League in this)? As Australian soccer fans, we tend to scoff at Asian fans - in Singapore, in Malaysia, in Indonesia - of these European behemoths who gather in their national stadiums to pay to watch the same glorified practice matches we are now falling over ourselves to watch (at least those games involving true giants such as Real Madrid and Liverpool).

And yet the fans of Malaysian football have recently turned against these tours, noting the negative impact it has on their local football. Meanwhile in Melbourne, our insecurity which is dressed up as self-regard has seen us fall head over heels in love with a traveling circus. And considered on that level, I start to think that maybe it's not about sport at all, but about proximity to celebrity and the ego of the city that are at the forefront of these events. The Herald Sun, who are as responsible as anyone for the inferiority complex this city has, found itself torn in two this past week. On the one hand there was its usual reactionary and rank 'Aussie Rules is better than sockah' rhetoric, and on the other hand there was its 'how great is Melbourne that it can attract such big events' rhetoric. It was the very definition of cognitive dissonance.

Bigger cities get bigger and better circuses, and this is why Melbourne gets Cristiano Ronaldo and Yarrawonga gets Brendan Fevola. But at the end of the day, a circus is still a circus. The FFA picks up a cheque no matter how many people turned up, and believers in trickle down economics that they are, they believe that these games will create converts to the local scene. I suppose if someone's willing to cough up the cash, it's a case for all concerned of 'why wouldn't you take it?', but I also wonder: does a big crowd and a good show means people won't take the local scene seriously? Does a big crowd and a poor show mean the game won't be taken seriously? Was this mediocre affair (the Roma-Man City game), which was effectively the matinée or tight-arse Tuesday performance, worthwhile in any way in the long term?

Pardon our French
Did you happen to watch the footage of the win against Heidelberg in the Doockerty Cup semi final? Quite a bit of audible swearing in there. Not that I'm offended, but it does make you think.

The Cros make an emotional breakthrough after being banned from smfcboard

Mumbles: I guess I've always used trolling smfcboard as a way of getting attention.
11.Boo: Yes! Yes! Me too!

Final thought
When exactly did the club learn that they were going to get free tickets for the Roma - Man City game? How far back did they know that we wouldn't have access to Lakeside last week? What happens if the ICC series comes back again next year? Was Steve from Broady the only person in Melbourne who actually bought a ticket to the game? The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind...

Did I mention the rain enough times? Ballarat Red Devils 1 South Melbourne 2

The temporary stand felt temporary, the grass on the field was in magnificent condition, and our under 20s had lost the curtain raiser 3-1 without managing to score a goal of their own making. So everything necessary was in place for Ballarat's first home game of the season and the first official fixture at their new Morshead Park venue.

Good luck trying to get a coherent match report out of me this week. I ended up behind the goals in both halves, so that meant our view for most of the game wasn't crash hot. And then it rained, and there were umbrellas, and I had lent my umbrella to some other South bloke because he didn't have squat and I was then forced to hide under Gains' golf umbrella, and forget it. All you need to know was that it got very, very wet, very, very quickly, and pretty much didn't stop for the rest of the afternoon.

Michael Eagar controls the ball, before putting it back into
the six yard box... Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

While it wasn't raining during the opening 20-odd minutes, we managed to score twice, putting in much the same sort of style of play that we did the last time we played these guys. Milos Lujic managed to score an easy one after good play to release him into space; and Jamie Reed scrambled the ball over the line, after Michael Eagar controlled the ball at the back post from a corner and put the ball back into the six yard box.

...where Jamie Reed waits to pounce on the scraps, making
the score 2-0 to South. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

Reed also hit the crossbar with a dipping shot - they were using the Brazuca balls that will be used for the World Cup this year, which swerved a lot despite the slippery conditions - and Lujic had an empty net chance ruled out for offside, which I have no idea whether it was or not, but no one seemed too flustered by the decision. There was a very good diving save from Ballarat keeper Aaron Romein to deny an effort that was heading into the bottom corner.

Things turned towards the end of the first half when we coughed up a free kick on the edge of the area - it didn't seem like a free kick to many of us at the time - and Dane Milovanovic hit a great shot into the opposite top corner. I reckon Jason Saldaris got a hand on to it, but regardless there was little he could do to keep it out. To be fair, we had taken our foot off the throat by that point anyway, which was disappointing because it's happened so many times this season in the middle of matches.

The start of the second half saw us reclaim the ascendancy, though without the clear cut chances that we had created in the first half. Ballarat then took over, without creating pretty much any clear cut chances that I can recall, aside from some crosses that went flashing across goal. Of more concern was the way we were - or rather weren't - adjusting to the conditions. Instead of trying to play simply, we tried to play a fancy short pass gimmick sort of game, which didn't help our cause most of the time. Reed and Tyson Holmes both picked up injuries, which will start to test our depth if serious.

Even when the sun came out, it just kept on raining.
Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

We managed to hold on though, having played 30 odd minutes of very good football, and 60 odd minutes of less than stellar stuff. So, seven from seven and four points clear of second placed Oakleigh, who are firing on all cylinders at the moment. While we may have broken our 1960 record for best start to a season, we can't rest on our laurels even for a second, because the chasing pack is not far away - though Bentleigh's loss at Green Gully was a welcome event.

The spirit of Ballarat is the spirit of Australia
Gimme shelter
We're not quite one to talk, what with us still not having a social club, but what kind of official opening has the ground half-finished? The outer hills were roped off, possibly because they recently had new grass seedlings sown into them. The temporary stand, while adequate in terms of seating function, offered absolutely no protection from the rain, and especially for the film and stat contingent of our media team.

Limited shelter at Morshead Park, so the @smfc stats man has to improvise. #NPLVIC pic.twitter.com/y4rTkXKHNy
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 3, 2014

The FFV seemed to have set up a marquee of some sort, which I suppose people could have gatecrashed but at the cost of the view, and the main pavilion wasn't complete, so no one could use that either. I'm sure once it's actually finished it'll be a good facility (though I'm not sure how the shelter situation will be sorted), but it was disappointing that it wasn't finished.

Local tastes
Having heard rumours that Ballarat once provided, but had then stopped offering chips and gravy as part of their canteen offerings, my expectations were low. And so it came to pass, as the menu was indeed quite limited and pedestrian: pies, chips, hot dogs, dim sims etc. Not a souvlaki or a cevapi roll in sight. I went for the hot dog, which didn't kill me - take note Green Gully. The pre-match musical offering was also a little different - rather than our awful house music selections, they went more for the old school bogan theme - Guns 'n' Roses, AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd etc.

Indigenous literature of Ballarat
They had a match programme ($3) which was quite acceptable, especially with their statistical offerings, including crowds. According to said match programme, on their away trips the biggest crowd Ballarat faced - aside from our 1300 odd - was at Green Gully, with about 470 people. Green Gully may have no fans, but on this measure they seem to have had more of them than Northcote, Heidelberg, Pascoe Vale and Goulburn Valley. The match programme also had a major typo in the coach's and president's messages, with 'Morshead' becoming 'Morehead' - which is incredibly juvenile for anyone to point out, but also an insult to our veterans.

Won't someone please think of the children?
The poor Ballarat ball kids. I'm not against their presence out there, but at least give them some sort of wet weather gear to protect them from the elements.

Rules change in the Reaches
Seeing as the VPL was such a Melbourne competition, the adjustment to the NPL has brought with it one unpleasant development - home town refereeing. Maybe this is, as in the words of the Ballarat faithful, a lot of sooking, but it appears as if the handball rule hasn't made it out there just yet. Or maybe they were actually refs from Melbourne and didn't think the rules were breached on those occasions, under the particular circumstances that refs will tell you handball has to occur for it to be called as such. Apparently cradling the ball in both hands in the penalty box doesn't count.

Add to this Aaron Romein getting away with hitting 9/10 of his goalkicks while the ball was still moving. I think he got called out for it by the ref once. After another dreadful call with the requisite whinging by South fans, one of the Ballarat smartalecs yelled out 'stop your sooking', to which one of our own wits replied, 'well at least we get to home to Melbourne after this', which was perhaps a little harsh but seemed a fitting response at the time.

And then there's this, which doesn't fit into anything in particular
This was tweeted by FFV correspondent (and reader of the blog) Steven Chang

First place we come across in Ballarat: this Maoist cafe. #NPLVIC #BRDvSM pic.twitter.com/TrNx278dIp
— Steven Chang (@Gixibyte) May 3, 2014

Next week
First up we're away Berwick City in the Dockerty Cup on Wednesday, then back home for our biggest test of the season thus far against Bentleigh Greens. While we should not take Berwick lightly, it will be a chance for some of the players currently on the outer - Tsiaras, Mullett, Minopoulos, Maynard, Boaheme etc - to get a bit of a run. The second match should be our toughest test to date. Bentleigh are coming off their first loss of the season, and will be looking to make up the gap between themselves and ourselves as quickly as possible.

Public transport thoughts
Let's get the hate mail out of the way early on.

@PaulMavroudis Just fucken drive, you're too keen on Public Transport ffs
— Pave Jusup (@PaveJusup) May 3, 2014

Anyway, VLine is great. Comfy seats, properly heated trains, numerous sheep sightings, and a severe lack of metropolitan rail network type arseclowns. A solid 90 minute trip from Spencer Street, where I got to meet some bloke (a former train conductor apparently) who told me he had a book collection in the realms of 60,000 items, as well as having once associated with the persons in Frank Hardy's circle. Also, we agreed that the VFL was complicit in destroying the VFA.

Getting to the ground from Ballarat Station was a different matter. Forgoing the cab option - even though it was like, right there outside the station - we decided to walk around looking for the number 13 bus. Well, eventually we found it, but we had missed it. Instead, we took up the offer of the bloke driving the number 14 bus to drop us off near Morshead Park, even though there wasn't an actual legitimate bus stop there. That's old fashioned country hospitality right there.

From there, it was a relatively short walk  around the greyhound track to the ground. I can't say much for the trip back into the Ballarat city centre - huge thanks to Con, who gave us a lift back - but I can't imagine it would have been that much more to find a bus ot get us back, although the rain would have things less pleasant.

From the station we headed out to Sturt Street for a feed, stopping at the quite good in terms of food and value for money Aroma of India restaurant, and when we got back to the station, the severely delayed train arrived a few minutes after we got there, which was rather convenient.

So all in all my thoughts are that if you want to take public transport out there for a game:

• allow extra time than you would then if you were driving, which is the same as with most public transport really.
• plan ahead - make sure you know how the hell you're going to get to and from the ground once you get to Ballarat.
• add an incentive like staying back a bit longer for some dinner, or get there earlier for lunch, because frankly the Ballarat canteen's offerings are pretty average.

The train trip home at night through the countryside is more akin to hurtling through the infinite void - perhaps as close to being on the Federation Starship Enterprise as I'm likely to get - with only the occasional signal light to break up the darkness until you get closer to Melbourne.

Lastly, Ballarat Station's vending machines are fantastic, and I'm kinda regretting not splurging a little. Chocolate prices from about 10 years ago, and chicken Twisties alongside the usual cheese flavoured ones. Now that's something you don't see every day.

More letters, more often
Remember the letter writing campaign with regards to the lease and social club issue I tried to get kickstarted a little while back? Well, as many of you will recall, I did get a response to that letter from the Minister for Sport and Recreation, Hugh Delahunty, and as it turns out, so did some other people, who apparently received near identical responses.

And while that was encouraging from the point of view of other South fans doing their bit, that encouragement was tempered by the lack of a response to the letter I sent to the shadow minister John Eren. So partly because Martin Foley, the member for Albert Park, seemed well intentioned but otherwise uninformed about the situation, and partly because the promised update from the club has yet to materialise (maybe nothing new to report? A worry in itself), I'm trying again. This time I've included a copy of the Delahunty letter, and asked Eren what his party's position is on the matter. Hopefully this time I get a response, and if I do, I will be putting it up here as per Delahunty's response.

All of this was prior to the breakout of a 'debate' on smfcboard about what we should do, which although it elicited some good points on both sides of the matter, also degenerated into name calling and personal attacks. The middle road path seemed to be the one most supported, in that in general few were seeking the violent overthrow of a nightmarish regime, but on the other hand they did want more information on what exactly was going on.

South of the Border Media Watch
ABC News Breakfast's, FourFourTwo's, SBS's and FFA's crime against (NSL) humanity
While sitting on the couch last Tuesday morning around 7:25, I was watching ABC News Breakfast as is my habit. Fill-in sports presenter Sharelle McMahon read out the news that Thomas Broich had won the Johnny Warren Medal. My response to that was going to be a huge 'meh', until McMahon said that Broich was the first player to win two Johnny Warren Medals.

I thought that maybe I'd heard wrong, so I waited until the 7:50ish sports bulletin to see if she would repeat the mistake, but there was no sports bulletin. So I then waited for the 8:25 bulletin, and sure enough the mistake was made again. So I did what any anorak with a smartphone would do: I made a tweet on the matter.

.@ABCNews24 Broich not first player to win 2 Johnny Warren medals - Viduka, Trimboli and Chipperfield all won 2 in the NSL.
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 28, 2014

FourFourTwo Oz's effort wasn't much better.

And to demonstrate the pitfalls of being an internet smartalec, I left out Damian Mori, probably because of the intense partisan hatred I was suffering at the time - and besides, who the fuck is Damian Mori, apart from the all-time leading Socceroos goalscorer for many years and one of the greatest domestic Australian soccer players of all time. And who are those other bums anyway? A Wollongong bus driver, a guy who chose to be an accountant rather than try his luck overseas, and some half Cro, half Ukrainian bloke from Keilor.

SBS' World Game website sinks to new lows.

And then we played the waiting game. The 8:50 sports update arrived and 'first player to win two Johnny Warren medals' became 'only player to win two Johnny Warren Medals'. FourFourTwo was a little more cautious in its approach - it stated that Broich was the first A-League player to win the award twice - but further down in its article on all the award winners, it mentions only the A-League winners of the award.


Most disappointing was SBS' effort on their World Game site - I mean, if there was one media organisation that should know better, it should be SBS, but that's how low they've sunk these days. But then again, how much can one expect of the ABC's typically substandard soccer reporting, or the New Dawn leaning FourFourTwo, or even the 'what agenda should be push this week?' SBS when the governing body can't even get their details right. Pay attention to the sentence in bold underneath the photo of Broich.

The cynics might say that this is just another example of the whitewashing of  Australian soccer history, but since we're all friends again thanks to the FFA Cup, let's just put it down to someone - maybe the work experience kid, who wouldn't know what an NSL was even if it lit 25 flares and started a riot in their living room - who could do better next time.

So another lesson in futility, which did nonetheless allow me to take an accidental trip down memory lane, as I recalled that I created the original version of the Johnny Warren Medal page on Wikipedia back in October 2006. How good was it? It didn't even include references, just information that I took verbatim from OzFootball.

Special mention to the Herald Sun's David Davutovic, who broke the mould and went the opposite way, by listing all the NSL 'player of the year' winners back to 1977, even those who won the award before the Johnny Warren Medal officially came into existence.

On a more serious note
Still on the Johnny Warren Medal. If the late Johnny Warren has indeed been beatified by many involved with Australian soccer - and I think a strong argument could be made that this is exactly what has happened - then surely his position as patron saint of Australian soccer should belong to all Australian soccer fans, and not just those who happen to be in power or are enjoying some ascendancy at this moment.

And if that is the case, then the very least anyone could ask for as part of this beatification process is that the medal which bears Warren's name have its full history acknowledged, not to make me or other bitters happy, but because those players who won this award during the NSL era were as worthy of it as those who have followed them in the A-League era.

Final thought
Thanks to the players - I assume urged by captain by Michael Eagar - for coming over and thanking the traveling South fans behind the northern goal after the game. Unlike some others, I don't tend to demand such behaviour, and certainly not every week, but it was an appropriate impromptu moment, which made the day just that little bit more worthwhile.

Five league wins on the trot - South Melbourne 2 Ballarat Red Devils 0

Despite the shorter turnaround between games, and the rumour that Nick Epifano may have received a knock during training in the lead up, South's lineup was unchanged. For their part, Ballarat had had two of their league games postponed already, including their game against Heidelberg which had been scheduled for last Sunday, so they would have been fresher, if not as match hardened as South.

For whatever reason - either because of last week's lackluster first half, or anticipating that Ballarat would sit back for large periods of the game - it looked like we came out to kill this game off in the first 15 minutes. It reminded me a bit of the old Ange Postecoglou era, where knowing that many of the teams we played at Lakeside would sit back with numbers behind the ball and try to frustrate us, we would try and have the game played on our terms.

But where those sides would almost inevitably score an early goal or two, despite the bluster of the opening flurry on Thursday night we couldn't manage to get the breakthrough goal. Milos Lujic had the best chance, as he ran on clear through on goal, but he blasted his short range shot onto the crossbar. The big striker looked across to the linesman, pleading for the goal which he seemed to believe had crossed the line, but there was nothing doing.

The game then settled down, becoming a classic battle of possession vs counter attack. South tried to be patient with the ball, knocking it around until space was created - Matthew Theodore looked especially dangerous - but our crosses and finishing weren't up to standard. Meanwhile, the visitors were busy trying to bust open our offside trap, and they weren't too far away on a few occasions. Twice it seemed to me that they were denied a run through on goal by unjust offside calls.

Gradually Ballarat started coming out of their shell and moving up the field, as our desire to pass the ball around the back and to Jason Saldaris looked shaky and laden with risk. We also seemed to put the ball into possible turnover situations, combined with Saldaris' tendency to keep possession for too long instead of clearing the ball upfield creating unnecessary tension. Still, most of Ballarat's attacks were restricted to set pieces and shots from outside the box.

The under 20s lost 3-1 to Ballarat. I'm not sure what the
go is with the sign having the text split up in that way.
Photo: Gains.

The visitors were helped by some pedantic if mostly consistent refereeing, as the main official decided to punish what appeared to be otherwise fair physical challenges. Getting towards halftime, it appeared that 0-0 would be the score at the break, and the halftime talk planned around getting our formation back into shape. But then Jamie Reed opened the scoring, after finding himself with plenty of room to unleash a powerful shot across goal, which gave the Ballarat goalkeeper little chance.

The visitors were more attacking in the second half, but I think it's fair to say we still looked the more likely to score, despite periods of miscommunication especially on yhe left hand side. Lujic put the ball into the back of the net, but it was ruled out for an offside, fairly I thought. Eventually Reed made it two for the night, as he managed to somehow beat the offside trap and score a relatively easy goal. I felt that he was miles offside, and didn't even bother getting up in excitement when he found himself clear on goal, but the video will probably make me a look like a goose again.

At 2-0 up, the game wasn't quite dead, but it would require something special for the game to be a contest again. Ballarat substitute Dane Milovanovic almost made that happen, with a long range speculative shot that sailed over Saldaris and hit the bottom of the far post. But in the end, we got the win, kept another clean sheet, and dispatched the only other team apart from ourselves to have a perfect start to the season. All in all, a pretty good night, in front of a decent crowd considering the scheduling and opponent.

Chants
'Come on Hellas steal their fucking gold'

'KFC, KFC, KFC'

'Hungry Jack's, Hungry Jack's, Hungry Jack's'

Image courtesy of the Michael Eagar Fan Club. 

Here's something you don't see everyday
I can't remember which of our players was responsible for this bit of stupidity. During the second half Ballarat had been awarded a free kick near the sideline (or was it a throw in?), with the ball from that bit of action rolling away out of play. The South player let that ball go on its merry way without giving it back - fair enough - but then proceeded to kick one of the spare balls on the halfway line away from the Ballarat player who wanted to get it in order to quickly restart the game. Our man copped a yellow card for his trouble.

Next game
Melbourne Knights at Somers Street. Despite their calamitous finish to last season, big things were expected of the Knights in 2014, especially after they beat reigning champs Northcote in the opening round. But despite a flurry of home games to start the season, some dodgy refereeing and poor finishing have conspired to see them lose three home games on the trot. I'm sure they'll fire up for this game though, relishing the underdog tag which we couldn't possibly claim for ourselves seeing as we're five from five.

Membership goodies and merchandise
The scarf is stretchy, and a lighter shade of blue than we're accustomed to, but otherwise quite nice. The membership 'hard card' is actually flaccid, which seemed to annoy some people. You also get a hat (same as last year) and a sticker. As for merch, no beanies yet - they may get some later in the year - but really, I wouldn't need to buy another one if I didn't keep losing the ones I already have. All round, the membership is pretty good value, not least because all the money goes to the club. Shame the stress balls idea never got up.

If those are not good enough reasons to sign up, here's Jimmy Armstrong to tug at your South Melbourne Hellas heartstrings.



Around the grounds
No venturing out anywhere this week. Thought about Port vs Northcote, but I'd already done that once this season, in their earlier cup meeting. Anyway, the results fell our way a little bit this round, and we find ourselves four points clear at the top of the table - albeit Bentleigh have a game in hand against Ballarat, which won't be played for months yet.

An Easter message from Elias Donoudis

Χρόνια Πολλά to all my Greek Friends, I'll be doing the Επιτάφιο around Jack Edwards reserve tonight. Long Live Οκλι Καννονς.
— Elias Donoudis. (@carlsaganaki) April 18, 2014

Final thought
Aren't you glad we get to play these guys in the league again in two weeks? Brilliant scheduling that.

Kiss of Death back for another season - Round 1, 2014

NPL: National Pathetic Leagues.

Am I a fan of them you ask? Well what sort of fucked up question is that? Can't you tell by the title? Joke of the highest order. If the FFA was a comedian, people would pay money to have a laugh. These people have lost the fucken plot. Who thinks up this shit. Like really, hello, there was nothing wrong with the original system, which has been working around the world since Jesus was a full back for the Jericho Jackhammers.

The Kiss of Death casts an eye over the competition.

Some douche has come along tax payer funded and all, and said this is how you will improve football in this country. Like fuck off already you Dutch cunts. You clowns have never been successful and have always flopped at international level. To give you an idea of how stupid this thing is, you will now read my season review of the Victorian NPL. Fuck my life. Like I don't have better things to do with my time than research clubs in the lower leagues who have bought themselves a golden ticket into the big time. Willy Wonka-ish and all.

NPL Victoria will consist of 14 teams this season, 12 who have earned their way through promotion, and two who have bought their way in. Those two being Goulburn Valley Suns and the other, Ballarat Red Devils. The Suns are located in Shepparton. Played as part of their local league. Weak as piss of a league. Good for the farmers up there to give their fruit pickers some entertainment. That's about all I know.

The Red Devils for the last four or so years have been stuck in State 2 North West. Used to be a great team, games shown on the local WIN 9 station up there, used to get big crowds. Slowly dwindled towards the end, and last year they were just absolutely shit. So shit in fact that they went from a top three State 2 team to State 3! Crowds dwindled to barely anything, they stopped the coffee van coming, and they even took chips and gravy off the menu. That is where I lost all respect for them. Ballarat is however, hillbilly central. The rest of the teams are last years standard VPL with the addition of Werribee City who got promotion into this league. Fair enough. But still shit.

Heidelberg United vs South Melbourne
Which dickhead launches the season at 7:15pm on a Thursday night? No jokes, I'm being legit. Either way, expect a pathetic crowd of Bergers, a decent crowd of South fans, and a South win. Have seen neither team this year so far. South has recruited well, and the Bergers somewhat. I don’t care about the Bergers. Heidelberg 0 – South Melbourne 3.

Port Melbourne vs Dandy Thunder
Too early to tell how Dandy will go, but Port will struggle this season. Have lost plenty of players due to the capping of the squads. Not much coming through. Dandy hasn’t done too bad in the recruitment stakes, and from their 3-3 draw with Hume last week, they are looking pretty good. Port Melbourne 1 – Dandy Thunder 2.

Melbourne Knights vs Northcote City
Northcote has got Trent Rixon back after his holiday at South. Northcote suit him as only 20 or so people watch them, and always clap regardless of result. South was too much for Trent. The Knights will have a good shot at winning the thing this year. Expect sueprising and consistent results. Melbourne Knights 2 – Northcote City 1.

Bentleigh Greens vs Ballarat Red Devils
Bentleigh is another team who will suffer due to the points system. The limits of visa players will severely limit their chances of a good hit out. It will back to the Bentleigh of old that we all know. The Red Devils, ah the Devils. Who gives a flying fuck. Bentleigh Greens 3 – Ballarat Red Devils 0.

Goulburn Valley vs Oakleigh Cannons
This game will be a good yardstick for the rest of the league. If the Cannons go to Shepparton and lose, then the others need to worry. If they come back with a win, then we can all have a giggle at the FFV. Goulburn Valley 0 – Oakleigh Cannons 8.

Hume City vs Pasoce Vale
Hume ain't looking too good. I doubt they will ever look good this season. Will finish in the bottom half. Pascoe Vale will continue being a thorn in everyone's side. The team you love to hate. Hume City 0 – Pascoe Vale 2

Green Gully vs Werribee City
Green Gully to run out convincing winners. Green Gully 6 – Werribee City 0

Back To Earth - Dandenong Thunder 3 South Melbourne 0

And now we cross to our man in Dandenong for match reports on both the senior and under 21 matches against Thunder.

Steve from Broady's senior match review 

South Melbourne played at a soulless George Andrews Reserve this week due to the five home game lockout punishment handed down to Dandenong Thunder by the FFA and FFV. There was an extremely strong wind during the game, with goal kicks blowing back to the goal keeper, making conditions very uncomfortable for the players.

South Melbourne kicked with the wind in the first half and had a few opportunities to score but failed to hit the target. Instead it was Dandenong Thunder kicking against the wind who opened the scoring in the 25th minute when Foster played a ball across the goal and Shaun Kelly turned it into his own net. As the half came to an end with Dandy leading 1-0, South had wasted their chance kicking with the wind and it looked a very hard road to come back from for South.

South tried to get into the game at the start of the second half, but struggled to break down a Dandy defence which looked happy to sit on their one goal lead. In the 77th minute South got caught on the counter and went 2-0 behind. Kelly was lucky to stay on the pitch at the end when he went through a Dandy player late while already on a yellow card but the ref resisted pulling out the red. In the last minute Foster put south out of their misery scoring a nice solo counter goal to give Dandenong Thunder a solid 3-0 win and capped off a bad day for South in the hard to play in conditions.

Now that's commitment. Several fans watched the match from behind the back fence. Photographer unknown.

Steve from Broady's under 21s Match Report
On Saturday afternoon South Melbourne under 21s took on Dandenong Thunder at George Andrews Reserve. South were coming of two good away wins and were top of the table after three rounds. South had a massive boost with Trent Rixon and Tom Matthews both in the starting eleven. Rixon was having his first real chance at some game time for 2013 after he had surgery on his injured hip at the end of last season and Mathews was coming back from a broken arm.

Dandenong kicked off the stronger of the two teams in the early stages of the match, but in the sixth minute South was awarded a free kick on the edge of the area. The ball was swung into the mixer and headed home by The Rixer who towered above the Dandy defence to give South an early 1-0 lead. After South took the lead they created s6me more chances to go 2-0 up, with Anthony Giannopoulos making some good runs off Rixon.

But that didn't last too long, and after a while Dandenong started to dominate again and were rewarded in the 14th minute when their captain stood up and made the most of a goal line scramble to level the scores and 22 minutes later the Dandy captain had another chance to score from a goal mouth scramble and didn't disappoint, converting his second goal of the afternoon.

The lads went into the sheds at half time with Dandenong Thunder leading 2-1. At the start of the second half South lost the ball immediately and paid for it with Dandenong running the ball down their end of the pitch and converting after 48 minutes - after that goal went in to put Dandy 3-1 ahead the game started to die down. South got themselves back in the game in the 79th minute when Sebit Muon broke clear of the Dandy defence and buried the ball into the back of the net to make the score 3-2. This continued Muon's good start to the season, finding himself on the score sheet regularly.

Just as South thought they had a chance at a draw and maybe even a win Dandy ran the ball down their end and scored an excellent solo effort goal sealing South's fate. The game finished 4-2 to Dandenong, but there were some positives to take out of the game with Tom Mathews playing a full match on his comeback from injury and Trent Rixon getting on the score sheet for the first time in 2013. South Melbourne's under 21s next league game is against Richmond at Lakeside Stadium in two weeks, until then GET AROUND IT!!!

Steve from Broady's Canteen Review
Since Saturday's game was behind closed doors, I was unable to try any food from the Dandenong canteen and I only see it fit that they get disqualified from the VPL canteen championship. Better luck next year lads.

1. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
2. Southern Stars 2/10
3. Green Gully 1/10
4. Dandenong Thunder DQ

Around the Grounds
With a Friday night match last round, and no access to the venue this week - and no desire to watch our match at $29 for a stock standard chicken parma Beachcomber - there was plenty of around the grounds action to take in.

First up was a trip to John Cain Memorial Park/Reserve to watch the two other sides with perfect records up until that moment. The Melbourne Knights opened the scoring in the first minute, but that was as good as their afternoon got. Northcote equalised a minute later, and had a 3-1 lead at half time, with the third goal being scored right at the end of the half. The Knights missed a sitter at 3-1 down, before Northcote added a couple more to make a sure thing of it.

Rubbing salt into the wound, the Knights also had a penalty saved at 5-1 down. They were pretty poor, with no midfield presence worth mentioning. Northcote were OK without being anything flash. They could have scored a few more, but who wouldn't take a 5-1 win before kick off?

On Friday I went and saw Richmond at home to Northcote. Richmond were a rabble, structures all over the shop and a rampaging Northcote hungry for goals found them in spades. 7-2 it finished to Hercules, who though may have played some weaker opposition this season, have at least been able to put most of them to the sword, ans sixteen goals in four matches in not something to sneeze at.

Even more disappointingly for Richmond, what was the best canteen in the league has gone down the toilet. No more cakes; they seem to have changed their kransky supplier to a significantly inferior product; and they're offering pizza and gyros now. The pizza was reportedly cold, the souvlaki 'so-so'. Richmond were great for quality and value, and they did it by focusing on doing a few things and doing them very well. Now they're doing a billion things and doing them pretty much all poorly.

Lastly, headed out to Paisley Park to watch Altona East and Ballarat Red Devils, two struggling State League 2 North-West teams. East managed to score one early, and score one late, enough for their first win of the season. It was a pretty dire game in between those goals though, and there's only so much you can blame

Next Week
Next week South are at Lakeside for the first time this season, with a Dockerty Cup match against Oakleigh. The match is provisionally scheduled for Saturday, though the time has not been confirmed as of yet.

Round 3, 2008 - Altona East 3 Ballarat Red Devils 1

East dominated the first half almost absolutely in both territory and possession. For the first 20 minutes the visitors struggled to even get out of their own half. Slowly played their way into the game after that, but the midfield failed to deliver anything remotely resembling decent supply. East's final balls let them down, there was a crossbar hit, but on the half hour mark Gaffar strolled in and finally gave East the lead they deserved. East scored again just before half time, Alghazaly getting that goal.

2nd half quite different. Ballarat came out with a higher level of intensity, East a little all over the place in midfield and defence, the attacks from the visitors looking more promising as the half wore on. They had a freekick well saved, and then received a penalty which was very well taken. Game on and both sides looking for the goal, with rushed end to end stuff ensuing, before late in the game Gaffar met a cross at the far post and headed over the keeper for 3-1 and the win.

Overall, this game was a bit of a wakeup call for both sides. For East, hopefully they've learnt that playing one half, even going up 2-0 is not enough, and that the game is 90 minutes long, not 45. For the Red Devils, that perhaps state 2 won't be a stroll in the park, and that against the league's better teams you better have your a-game right on from the start. By all rights they should have been out of the game at half time, but they ended up doing well in the 2nd half, and a draw would not have been a harsh result for both sides, but you always have the upper hand if you have the lead, which was a problem for East last year, often falling behind.