Run of the mill - South Melbourne 4 Oakleigh Cannons 1

Meanwhile, our women were away at Ballarat Eureka Strikers.

The most interesting thing about this game was how little enmity there was shown towards Oakleigh by the home crowd. Historical small-fry they may be in the greater context of Australian soccer history, but over the past decade there has been at least some (and often much) feeling, and a genuine sense of rivalry between us. Now, even with certain infamous characters like Steven Topalovic and especially former coach Gus Tsolakis making returns to Lakeside, there wasn't really anything resembling the antipathy that I'd expected. Yes, there was the odd comment, but not nearly the level of abuse one had become accustomed to in games between these two sides - hell, not even close to the level of abuse Gus copped when he was coaching us back in 2012 and 2013! The win felt like just another solid win against a midrange opponent, which in its own way is a relief - not every game needs last ditch heroics in order to be classed a success.

There were a couple of changes for this game, but we'll only know for sure at the end of this week if they were due to form, tactics or this week's crowded match schedule. Tim Mala was on the bench, Marcus Schroen was out of the squad altogether, while captain Michael Eagar made his first start for a few weeks and Leigh Minopoulos got a now rare starting role. It was great to see Minopoulos get an extended run, and score two goals for his troubles as well. The first, a looping header from a corner served to settle the nerves after Oakleigh had pulled it back to 2-1, while his second was classic goal poaching, cleaning up the crumbs to seal the deal. Overall, that right hand side of the field, with Kristian Konstantinidis slotting in at right back, looked to be at its most dangerous for a long time.

Meanwhile on the left hand side, far less endearing was the attitude of the People's Champ, who put in one of his more petulant performances for some time, after a period of what one could call 'lesser' petulance. One has come to expect his tendency for dropping his head at the slightest whiff of misfortune, even his unwillingness to feign interest in tracking back; but his refusal to pass the ball to players in much better positions than himself, instead opting for yet another attempt at replicating his famous goal in the cup against the Melbourne Knights from last year, reached new heights of absurdity yesterday - and that criticism is made because we all know that it doesn't have to be this way, and can't be this way if he wants to fulfil his dream of playing in a better league, in front of more people and making more money than he does now.

Before we move on, it is time to bust the myth of the magic of 'that' goal. This does not mean that the goal was not good. It does not mean that the goal was not important. It does not mean that the goal was not memorable, emotional, or whatever other epithet you want to attach to it. But the goal was not as good as people like to remember, and certainly not the way the People's Champ seems to remember it in his quest to make it happen again. Here is the angle that must be focused on, to be watched with the sound off, taking away the roar of the crowd. He thinks he is being skillful, but all he does is hit the ball straight, and fortunately for all concerned, has the ball hit the post and go in. There is no curve on the ball, no dip, no sign that this was the shot of a player whose skill sets him well apart from the rest of this league. The slightest breeze blowing towards the main grandstand that night and the ball would have gone out for a goal kick.

South's women managed to come away with another win, this time 4-2.

It was actually good that he didn't score from one of his myriad low percentage shots yesterday, because had he scored it would have justified his effort and intent. Meanwhile, in yesterday's game and nearly every other game the People's Champ is involved in, Brad Norton slogged his way up and down the wing, trying to bring other players into the game and then having to run back to make sure his left back position is covered because the People's Champ is above such concerns as tracking back and covering for a teammate. Despite his excellent run of form in the second half of 2015, next to no one is under any illusions about Brad Norton being a superstar meant for better things than the state comps, but no one can fault his attitude and desire to put the good of the team above his own individual glory.

For their part, Oakleigh have some capable players, but other than a couple of short bursts of attacking football, they performed poorly. Considering the fact that they have knocked off some of the better teams in the league this season, including reigning champs Bentleigh, one expected something a bit better than what they dished up yesterday. Going forward they were not so bad, but defensively they were very suspect. Some better decision making from our part, and even some better shooting in those dangerous positions we found ourselves in, could've seen the score blow out even more. Then again, scoring first and scoring early tends to make things easier for yourself. Philzgerald Mbaka even got a run, giving us a taste of the kind of player he is, albeit against defeated and demoralised opposition. Mbaka seems to have no gears, no sprinting power, gliding at a single pace across the field - but he looks calm on the ball, and his distribution was by and large first rate. With a bit of luck he may have even managed to snag a goal, too, late on in the piece.

Overall, South's performance was heartening and enjoyable, albeit soured by Chris Taylor's dismissal from the technical area. What appeared to all and sundry - except the referee, and the linesman who was right on the spot - to be a blatant handball in the box by an Oakleigh player, saw Taylor's complaints escalate to the point where he was sent to the stands. One can harp on about the severity of the punishment in comparison to how other referees and coaches behave (see this week's 'around the grounds' segment), but in these situations it's entirely up to each referee to make up their own minds on the matter, with coaches either having to play it by ear and take the risk of being sent away, or learning to just behave themselves at all times. The latter is perhaps easier said than done when your sporting livelihood depends mostly on the players on the field and the decisions of the officials.

Taylor's dismissal saw him go towards the food truck for a feed. The question that remains unanswered at this point, other than how many games he will miss, is did he ask his senior football adviser about whether to go for the kransky or the souv? That's maybe a question best left for the next AGM, at this stage provisionally scheduled for sometime during the year 3918.

Next game
Away to Altona Magic on Wednesday night for FFA Cup.

Social club news
Prior to the match I was shown a photo of a person or persons allegedly taking measurements inside the social club. The photo was on a camera phone, and it was difficult to make out the details because of sun glare, but it was good to see that something was perhaps maybe happening, sorta.

Fine, not fine
Meanwhile, the brains trust at South attempted to appeal the fine levied on the club following the flare lit by someone - as yet unidentified - in amid the area occupied by Clarendon Corner at the Veneto Club. It did not go well. The FFV's tribunal system, working as it does in these matters in the manner of the inquisitorial judicial system - that is, guilty until you prove yourself innocent - saw us pushing what was perhaps a legally and morally sound argument, but not one that was likely to work in these circumstances.

The arguments that a) how do you know it was a South fan who lit the flare? b) what good does it do and how can it possibly be fair to the club if an individual decides to go rogue by launching a flare? c) where is the responsibility of the venue manager and security in all this? and d) seeing as how South's management does not approve of flares and has form in notifying the FFV of people who have lit flares at Lakeside, what more could they be expected to do?, are all very good and sensible lines of argument, but doomed to fail nevertheless.

What is concerning about this is the possibility being put up that if it happens again with the culprit not being identified, we could be in line to be docked points. So let's look at a possible scenario which may occur this week. We rock up to Paisley Park for a night game. Entry to the ground is mostly done via driving into the ground, meaning that bags and persons can't be checked. South scores a goal, and in amid the chaos of a post-goal celebration and the gloom of a night game someone rips a flare - security doesn't see who ripped it, perhaps no one sees it, and all of a sudden we're in the situation where someone's random act of stupidity, an act not even tacitly condoned by the club, sees us in line for punishments beyond the $1,500 levied per flare lit.

This is not even just a South problem, because at least at Lakeside we have security cameras and such to act as a dissuading device against such behaviour, which takes care of the issue on the half of the season that we can kinda control. For the rest, the older heads in Clarendon Corner can and have repeated the message to the younger fans that stand in that area on a regular basis that for the sake of the club, flares are not on. But pity those clubs who don't have even security theatre levels of prevention at their disposal, and have a collection of new fans, randoms or whoever, who are determined to do something stupid.

Dredging up the past
A friend is working on an Australian soccer project of sorts, the results of which we'll hopefully see towards the end of 2016 or maybe early 2017. To that end, this friend asked me to go through my blog's unwieldy archives (I've even reinstalled the calendar gadget on the right hand side of the blog) and find posts relevant to that project. I have previously on occasion gone back and re-read some of the old material (over 1800 posts now, including guest contributions), but never on a scale quite as large as this. All I can say is, that while I still like some individual pieces, one has to give credit to those who visited and stuck with South of the Border in the first four or so years. I hope that the quality has improved enough to warrant the loyalty of those readers.

International Year of the Fence

The safest way to watch Australian soccer - several hundred yards away, with an obstructed view. #PS4NPLVIC pic.twitter.com/o2lZUfYpDa

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 15, 2016

Around the grounds
立って, 座って
Another Friday night, and another chance to get out of the house and watch some soccer. I had thought about going to Port Melbourne vs Northcote, but changed my mind when halfway to Flinders Street and decided to go to Richmond vs Green Gully instead. Richmond may not have the most luxurious spectator facilities, but what it does have is two benches and technical areas which are very close to each other, and also very close to the perimeter fence. For people like me, who like to watch neutral games from those kinds of spots, with a chance to observe coaches in action, there's no better place to a watch a game from - even if a scoreboard or marshal or fourth official can obscure views at times. This decision paid off even as early as the under 20s match, with a priceless reaction from the Gully coach to one of his players being violently fouled.

Could've sworn the Gully under 20s coach just said 'that's some Plymouth Argyle shit'. #PS4NPLVIC

— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 15, 2016

And that was after the linesman on that side had attempted to clam him down using his smooth English (South London?) accent. To that end, it was good also to catch up with Green Gully senior coach Arthur Papas, that half-forgotten wunderkind of Australian soccer coaching, for an all too brief chat before the game. The match itself was a high energy affair of at best middling quality, scrappy and hard fought. Richmond, despite having some capable players, lack any sense of structure and rely too much on winning 50/50 balls and one on one battles. That's great when you win those battles. but less good if you only break even, or indeed lose the overall count. Richmond had the lead, but a Green Gully side without main marksman Liam Boland, managed to somehow get in front, and stoutly defended Richmond's mostly feeble attempts to find an equaliser. George Katsakis (or one of his clones), would have learned much I think from this match when his side plays Richmond next week.

The fourth official and the linesman on the far side of the field were kept busy all night by a shortage of seating on Green Gully's side of the benches seeing far too many people standing up. Some of the excuses used to justify included not being given enough seats for everyone on that side compared to Richmond and Arthur Papar not being able to crouch because of his bad knees. Of course the Gully crew weren't afraid to point out that Richmond, too, also had too many people standing up. Admittedly, it was hard to hear them over the protestations of Richmond's technical director Micky Petersen, as he was haranguing the officials on that side and generally making a nuisance of himself.

Final thought
Which local football food critic was taken to task by a Bulleen official, for his giving of a low score to Bulleen earlier this year on his radio segment? If someone offers you an eclair that looks too good to be true, please don't eat it!

Five Fabulous Years

Another year over.

Being honest here, there are times when I do consider stopping the blog, but that feeling doesn't tend to last too long.

I'm still not too sure about this project's purpose, but even after another loss, another minimum of an hour's journey home on public transport, and no light at the end of the irrelevance tunnel, I'm still drawn here.

Perhaps if I was someone with something better to do, I would have given up already. But that's enough self--pity for one year, because we also had a lot of fun.

That whole Toumbourou/3XY/Ta Nea/Greek Media Group thing entertained us something special during November. It also saw us get a large increase of visitors and comments. So many comments! And then the issue died and you all disappeared. Typical.

For what it's worth, this was my favourite post of mine of the year, because it shows my love of free to air television. I also liked this one, because it has a picture of a very tasty looking piece of cheese burek. And who could forget board member Tom Kalas stealing/borrowing/reinterpreting the first half of this post for his presentation to South members on the NCR?

Unless something major happens, we'll be keeping a low profile on the blog for the next couple of weeks, but do tune in every now and again, as I have about a dozen posts lined up which will entertain you for about two minutes per day. Anyway on to the thankyous.

Thanks to
All my readers, whether you like what you see or not. You add an incentive to keep going. Double cheers if you left a comment at some point.

The South Melbourne Hellas Hattrick crew.

Arthur Papas, for being a good sport.

Krizar, who balances out my loose anarcho-syndicalism with his western suburbs fascism.

Gains, for sanity and perspective. And for dinner options that weren't run of the mill souvlaki joints.

Steve from Broady, for his exquisite story telling.

Big thank you
Kiss of Death for providing match previews, and an aggressive angle to an enterprise which often veers too close to the maudlin and the mawkish.

And of course
Ian Syson.

Kiss of Death, Round 14, 2012

Friday 8:30 PM Hume City (4th) vs Northcote City (9th)
Northcote drew 0-0 against Southern Stars, while Hume lost 1-0 at Dandenong Thunder. Will most likely be a tough match. Northcote needs this win to establish themselves properly in the five, while Hume needs this win to keep up with the pack. South need this one to be a draw to slow down Northcote and keep Hume off their tails. Hume City 0 Northcote City 0.

Friday 8:30 PM Richmond (10th) vs Heidelberg United (12th)
I’ll be doing autograph signings at this one. I saw Richmond beat Bentleigh 0-1 last week, but didn’t see Heidelberg lose 1-2 to Green Gully. Obviously, the Bergers need to win, and this is a winnable game for them. If they lose here then I’d definitely consider them a State 1 champion next season. Richmond did well last week at Bentleigh, they looked good going forward and comfortable at the back, except for the last ten minutes, when Bentleigh threw everything at them. I think Heidelberg can come good for this challenge. Even a draw will be a good beginning. Richmond 2 – Heidelberg 3.

Saturday 7:00 PM Southern Stars (6th) vs Bentleigh Greens (5th)
This is the easiest to pick. A no brainer if you will. South needs a draw. The co-tenant derby. I won’t write much about this one. Southern Stars 1 – Bentleigh Greens 1.

Sunday 3:00 PM Moreland Zebras (11th) vs Oakleigh Cannons (2nd)
Moreland got taught a lesson at Somers Street last weekend by a youthful and exuberant Knights outfit 2-1. Oakleigh lost 2-1 at Lakeside in what could’ve been a bigger margin if not for their keeper. Both teams coming off losses. Moreland needs to win to survive the drop, while Oakleigh needs to win to consolidate their top five position. South needs a draw or win to Moreland. Moreland are for the tip. Oakleigh surprised me how they are second. Is the VPL that bad? YES, YES, YES! Moreland Zebras 2 – Oakleigh Cannons 1.

Sunday 3:00 PM Melbourne Knights (8th) vs Dandenong Thunder (1st)
The Knights were excellent against Moreland last week in their come from behind 2-1 win. Dandenong as expected had a 1-0 win over Hume City. A win to Dandenong is the recipe for the day. South needs to shake off the Knights who are behind them on goal difference. I still think the Knights will give them a run for their money, but Dandy will just be better where it counts, on the scoreboard. Melbourne knights 1 – Dandeong Thunder 2.

Sunday 5:00 PM South Melbourne (7th) vs Green Gully Cavaliers (3rd)
Last week Green Gully beat the struggling Bergers 1-2. South Melbourne absolutely made a mockery of Oakleigh's second place on the ladder with a 2-1 win at Lakeside. The score coulda, shoulda, woulda, been bigger but for Italiano in goals. He has impressed this season, and tell ya what, he earnt his money against South. South was good, very good. Burton has been a wonder signing in this transfer window. Takes the load off big Trent and is a tough tackling Brit. Seems to have a wicked shot on him too, but how he hit the post from a couple of yards out in the first half has me necked. South was all over Oakleigh from the get go. It took Oakleigh two minutes to finally touch the ball after South kicked off. South did everything right. Chased hard, tackled hard, worked hard, attacked as a group, defended as a team, didn’t lose their shape, and was clinical in their passing and shooting. Overall a great day. For a change everyone left Lakeside happy, and we go into the Green Gully game with more confidence than usual. South Melbourne 3 – Green Gully 0.

Editors note: South's game this week is the FFV live stream game of the week. While of course there's nothing like the South Melbourne Hellas live experience, if you can't make it to the game, head to the FFV's Official Youtube Channel for their live coverage.

Admin Stuff

• Congratulations to Arthur Papas for beating me in the Euro 2012 tipping comp. A thank you for agreeing to participate.
• Match clock at Lakeside. It would be handy if the clock stopped with five minutes to go. Teams play to the clock and it gives an unfair advantage to the leading team. We get this at no other stadium. Turn the fucker off.
• Liquor Licensing. A big ‘well done’ to the State Trust. How can you not apply for a permanent liquor license from the opening day of the venue, and instead you go and get a temporary one ? Seriously, how fucken amateurish. Also, that is no excuse for not having the food outlet open for the game against Oakleigh. The souvs and sausages that caravan sells are not as good as your pies, some of us actually wait a week to get a decent pie you know.
• FFV. I am still waiting for my media pass. Season is nearly over you know.
• Rumours. When people start rumours they should have some basis for them. Not bullshit ones that don’t even make sense. The key to a good rumour is a concrete source. 

Nice - South Melbourne 2 Oakleigh Cannons 1

What can one say? That was good to watch.

We moved the ball more quickly, we linked up well, as all our little flicks into space started coming off, and we should have buried Oakleigh well before they made a late flurry. Apart from the improved forward play, which has probably been in evidence for a couple of weeks now, the midfield seemed hungrier for action - there was some thrilling tackling in the middle of the field, and to cap it off, for once the loose balls seemed to end up with us.

Our set piece play, especially from corners, has also improved. We're actually now, more often than not, at least making the opposition keeper and his defence worry a bit, instead of immediately playing it short, or worse, sliding it straight out for a goal kick. The team will still make mistakes, but football is a 90 minute game, not a five minute highlights package.

Oakleigh was in mine, and a lot of the other South fans' opinion, very unlucky not to get a penalty in the first half. It seemed pretty clear cut from where I was sitting, but the ref just waved play on. Apart from that, a period in the first half where the Cannons had a string of corners, and one or two shots needing saving, they seemed a little short of ideas, though our defensive work was pretty good, especially that of defensive midfielder (and I hope he stays there, instead of being shuffled back into defence proper) Dimi Tsiaras was huge.

Ricky Diaco's late free kick was always going to go in - in my opinion, he's probably the best free kick taker in the league at the moment, his shooting in general being excellent - it was just a matter of how. The fact that it had to go through the wall was less than pleasing however.

It shouldn't have come down to Peter Gavalas making a fine save right at the end to give us all three points, instead of just one, and that will be something to be worked on.

Arthur Papas
Back in town, and for some reason back on the Oakleigh bench as 'team manager'.

Back Room Booze Bonanza!
Congratulations to the person who won the raffle, consisting of two or three bottles of booze, which I found sitting in the back of the social club's bar, and which had probably been sitting there since we moved out to Northcote.

For the health inspector dudes who read this blog, don't worry, the bottles were sealed (wine and rum improve with age, no?) and I tossed out the Bailey's.

Delays
Had to wait almost ten minutes for kick off, because the refs didn't do their due diligence and check the nets well before the game was due to start.

Freekick Frenzy
 
Photographer Peter Psarros has a nice knack for taking sequenced photos of freekicks - the sequence of Steven Weir's free kick against Northcote in round 22 last year was lovely - and this one of Glen Trifiro's 30 yard effort is pretty good too. I sequenced the separate images using some free site doohickey.

Music
Turn that fucking shit off already, it's fucking bollocks.

Next Week
Green Gully, at home. Eleven rounds ago, after another inspiring win against Oakleigh, this is where our season began to fall apart. Our record against Gully but not at Gully is actually not too bad. We'll probably screw it up.

Substitutes
Still mystifying. Instead of maybe bringing on a defender to beef up the defensive end, we brought on three attacking players. Did it almost bring us undone? Perhaps. Curious to see Joe Keenan have a bit of a run as well.

The Things That Keep You Up At Night
The latest stupid Steve from Broady catchphrase which has taken off among a certain portion of the supporters. See also: 'Get around it!' and 'Put it in the Mixer!'.

Under 21s
Won 2-1. Anthony Giannopoulos' scissor goal for the team's second was unfortunately not caught on video.

Vlahos, Burton, Kelly, etc
Vlahos only had a brief period on the field as a substitute. Kelly wasn't in the squad. Burton impressed. While he certainly should have scored a goal or two, his mere presence was beneficial to the entire team, and especially to Trent Rixon, by taking some of the attacking workload off him. Added to the fact that Rixon has actually been used by his team mates over the past two or three games, and there's reason to be a little optimistic about the second half of the season.

Zenith
Thanks to that shocking first half of the season, there's not much room for error from here on in. We all got excited with our gangbusters start to the season, and fell into a deep depression when it went the other way. Top three gives you the double chance and a decent stab at the championship. We're not even close to thinking about that yet. For now, it's about re-establishing meaningful contact with the top five.

Kiss of Death, Round 13, 2012

This week's Kiss of Death is being tipped based on what results suit South Melbourne. As of now, all results must go South's way. Gamble at your own peril based on these tips. You have been warned.

Euro 2012 Tipping vs Arthur Papas
Congratulations to Arthur Papas for winning the tipping comp against the Kiss of Death. The final score was 20-14. Not only did Arthur get more win/loss/draw points (15-12), but he also won the correct result tally (5-2).

Friday 8:15 PM Bentleigh Greens (4th) vs Richmond (10th)
This game needs a draw. A draw will enable South to pull away from the bottom and climb into the upper half of the table. Richmond are the draw specialists this season, so hopefully they continue that trend. Bentleigh lost 2-0 at Gully last week which was not good for South, and Richmond drew 0-0 against Northcote which was good. Transfer window opened up this week and Skorich has left Bentleigh for the Zebras. Bentleigh Greens 1 – Richmond 1.

Saturday 3:00 PM Northcote City (3rd) vs Southern Stars (6th)
Southern Stars upset everyone last week. They beat the high flying Thunder 2-1. But, I have heard a rumour that the Stars have run out of money and the players have been told not to expect anything. Hopefully this stops their little run out of the bottom. Northcote is doing well under Loza. South needs Northcote to win. A draw is no good because then South can’t jump Southern Stars. Northcote 3 – Southern Stars 2.

Saturday 7:00 PM Dandenong Thunder (1st) vs Hume City (7th)
Pretty much a dead rubberfor South. A win by Dandy will be good. We can’t catch them anyway, but we can catch Hume. Dandenong Thunder 3 – Hume City 0.

Sunday 3:00 PM Melbourne Knights (9th) vs Moreland (11th)
You all know I’m a secret Knights fan, but I’m going to have to tip a draw here. South above all else and South needs this one to draw. The Knights have recruited a couple during the transfer window and Moreland has gone and signed Grant Brebner, Andrew Nabbout, Skorich and some dude from Ballarat. Only one I rate is Nabbout. At least the food will be good at Somers St. Cevaps and cabbage with some Karlovacko Pivo. Melbourne Knights 2 – Moreland 2.

Sunday 3:00 PM Heidelberg United (12th) vs Green Gully Cavaliers (5th)
The Bergers are in real trouble if they lose this one. They have been emptied out apparently in this transfer window, and Katsakis has a difficult task of keeping them up. For the sake of Hellas, the Bergers need to win against Gully. Here’s a conspiracy I’m making up now and hoping it will spread. If the Bergers lose to Gully, it’s so that South don’t make the finals. They would rather go down to State 1, as long as South doesn’t make the Top 5. Get around it and spread it my children.
Heidelberg United 2 – Green Gully 1.

Sunday 5:00 PM South Melbourne (8th) vs Oakleigh Cannons (2nd)
Match of the round. Will this be South's turning point? Will South pull out all stops and start putting teams away? Will Oakleigh start to falter? Will Zois hear about how much he “loves this club”?(LOL)

South was very good at Whittlesea last Sunday night. Fuck me was it cold. We played a calculated game with attacking purpose. A win would’ve been a bonus, but when you hit the post, the crossbar and McMaster pulls saves out of his arse, you can’t blame the team. What I can blame the team for though is, short corners, quick free kicks and bad decisions. Some examples. O’Dor comes up for a corner, we decide to play it short, we lose it, then O’Dor needs to sprint the full length of the pitch to get back into position. Gasparis took three corners in the first half that all went out of play. Don’t know which Trif, but one of them has this thing about taking quick free kicks. WTF? Just wait for a second man. Then we have players in not so good positions to shoot, yet no one in the middle for a cross, so they decide to cross anyway. Either hold the fucken thing, or try your luck with a shot. Why oh why does Gus persist with Petreski. He is not starting eleven material at South. We are not desperate to fill positions because we have no players. Take him off please, in the name of Hellas. A positive though is the subs Gus made. Surprise, surprise, he made them with 20mins to go. WAHHH Wild Scenes! Oakleigh had a 3-2 win against the Bergers last week after being 3-0 up. This shows defensive frailties. Hopefully South can exploit this. South Melbourne 3 – Oakleigh Cannons 0.

South Melbourne Hellas: the musical - Kiss of Death, Round 11, 2012

Kiss of Death vs Arthur Papas Euro 2012 Tipping
After the group stage, the Kiss of Death trails Arthur Papas 12 points to 13. Here are their quarter finals tips.

Czech Republic v Portugal (KOD) 1-3 (AP) 1-2
Germany v Greece (KOD) 0-1 (AP) 2-0
Spain v France (KOD) 2-1 (AP) 2-0
England v Italy (KOD) 2-0 (AP) 0-1


Friday 8:30 PM Oakleigh Cannons (4th) v Bentleigh Greens (2nd)
It started as a rumours on soccer-forum.net, then it was confirmed that Oakleigh coach Huss Skenderovic has been sacked. Strange really. He hasn’t been doing too bad and he has them in 4th. Weirder things have happened I suppose. How Bentleigh are second just shows how fucked this league really is. They hardly threatened last weekend against South Melbourne, yet won with an 85th minute penalty. Oakleigh had a 3-2 away loss at Northcote last weekend. They equalised 2-2 in the 88th, yet copped the third in the 90th. Both these teams are playing their second Greek derby in a row. The pressure is on. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Bentleigh Greens 2.

STOP PRESS! - posted at 9:19am Friday
Oakleigh players revolted against coach after last weeks loss.......
Sunday night - Huss Skenderovic is sacked
Sunday night - George Katsakis appointed coach of Oakleigh
Monday morning... players get wind of appointment
Monday afternoon - Oakleigh board are notified that players are revolting if Katsakis has been appointed
Monday night - Katsakis sacked as coach of Oakleigh
Tuesday morning - Zois and Theo appointed


Friday 8:30 PM Richmond (10th) v Dandenong Thunder (1st)
Richmond was eaten and spat out by the Knights last weekend 1-0 while Dandenong had a convincing 3-0 win over Green Gully. Dandenong will be the team to beat. Unfortunately Richmond will not be able to beat them. Richmond 0 – Dandenong Thunder 4.

Saturday 3:00 PM Green Gully Cavaliers (6th) v Northcote City (3rd)
This should be an exciting encounter. One team is defensively content in their approach, while the other one fights 'til the end. Northcote always win at Gully and this weekend will be no different. Green Gully Cavaliers 1 – Northcote City 2.

Saturday 7:00 PM Southern Stars (8th) v Melbourne Knights (7th)
Southern Stars drew at Hume last weekend, while the Knights did what they had to do against Richmond. Marth, I suppose, has settled well for now, but only time will tell if he can survive. Big crowd expected for this one. Southern Stars 2 – Melbourne Knights 2.

Sunday 3:00 PM Moreland Zebras (11th) v Hume City (5th)
The ‘same home ground’ derby. Both these teams are playing out of the same venue, so how shit the food will be is anyone's guess. They seriously need to get the bar and canteen sorted out. I had some food there once and I didn’t make it out of Epping. Anyhoo, this game is of no interest to the Victorian football public, that’s why it’s being played in the middle of nowhere. Epping Stadium is a white elephant and a half. This will be a shit game. Moreland Zebras 0 – Hume City 0.

Sunday 5:00 PM South Melbourne (9th) v Heidelberg United (12th)

How depressing. Where I should be writing an article about how South is going to absolutely pummel the Bergers, I sit here at my desk nervous about this weekend's encounter. In order to ease the nerves, I will talk about last week's loss at Bentleigh. The usual South stuff. Play teams off the park with pretty one touch short passing football, and we lose to a bunch of ugly long ball playing panel beaters. “What else we can do”, once said a certain president of a now state league 2 club. I got there early to watch the U21’s. Reffing was woeful, South should’ve won. Had a good laugh at the moron who wouldn’t shut up about how he paid $9 for, and I quote, “Man this is the shittest souv I’ve ever eaten, and I paid 9 bucks for it, what a fucken joke”. Get over it tightass. Then I sat back on the bodgiest grandstand and witness one of the Trifiros go through the middle, hit the post, celebrate, then realise it went for a goalkick. If we ain't jinxed then I don’t know who is. Second half and more of the same. Then a handball appeal which the ref gives to Bentleigh as a peno. They score, we abuse the players/board/coaches/peanut man/a couple of saints and holy figures and go home. Another riveting South Melbourne performance. This week Heidelberg is on the menu. Will we beat them? That’s a question I might be able to answer if the moons align and I feel good. Must we beat them? Um hello, no shit Sherlock. If we lose to the Bergers, the entire coaching staff must be sacked. Enough excuses. I know people on the South board read this blog. You have an obligation to the members. South Melbourne 8 – Heidelberg United 0 (This is only because Moreland Zebras scored 4 against them last week, and I think we are double the talent of Moreland). Anything less is a poor result.

Late Breaking News
George Katsakis has retaken the reigns at the Bergers. This is a bad thing for South. Every time a team gets a new coach, they perform, and usually win. Will definitely be a shit match for South. This coach has a way of lifting his players regardless of how low their morale or ladder position might be. He is the only coach I see week in, week out at other matches. Hard worker all round. Was also present at South 1-0 loss last week at Bentleigh. Even he was shaking his head at Souths performance ! Ah fuck.

Admin Stuff
A request to all South Melbourne fans who read this blog. Please light a candle for our beloved South Melbourne. If we keep going along like this, not even a bushfire will be enough.

Join me in prayer every evening at 9.08pm AEST, with the following:

Dear God,

Please disregard all the prayers that are being said for the other team.

Amen

• Rumour has it that SMFC will be holding an interfaith service next week IF they lose to the Bergers. Great idea, but our religion is SMFC.
• Rumours going around last Friday at Bentleigh were that we have been “evil eyed” and we have had a curse put on us. So get the priest down there and bless everyone, or get a few golden toothed old ladies to remove the “evil eye” from the stadium, and everyone involved at the club. I have the gift of “xematiasma”, and you can contact me at kodvic@gmail.com
• Lakeside stadium needs a DJ who can play to the mood of the crowd. I have selected some songs specific to the events at Lakeside, mainly losses:

Otan Pethano Thapste Me (When I die, bury me) Stratos Pagioumtzis


Synefiasmeni Kyriaki (Cloudy Sunday) Stelios Kazantzidis


Se xilious duo mpelades (A couple thousand problems) Manolis Mitsias


Svise me Kira mou (Turn me off woman) Manolis Aggelopoulos


Gia ta lefta ta kaneis ola (You do everything for money) Antipas


Eimai se katastasi ektaktou anagis (I’m in a position of urgent need) Makropoulos


Yakety Sax (The Benny Hill Theme)- Boots Randolph (the editor has decided to be a smartass and present instead Yakety Axe, as performed by Chet Atkins.)

Kiss of Death, Round 10, 2012

Friday 8:15 PM Bentleigh Greens (3rd) vs South Melbourne (7th)

I’ve kind of given up for this season. All the hoohah about who we signed at the start of the year, and how good we are on paper, is just that. On paper! I don’t know what else to say, other than I’m hurting. Hurting to the point that I’ve actually left games at half time out of disappointment. I don’t know if this pain is also felt by the players and staff down at Lakeside, but I hope it hurts their pockets. If I was ‘El Presidente’, I would start docking the pays. Just like in the real world when you don’t perform at your employment, management starts breathing down your neck. Rumour has it we have lost Trent Rixon for the game at Bentleigh. He hasn’t exactly started like a house on fire so I don’t think we will miss him. Rumour has it we have signed Andy Vlahos? A big WTF?! If this is true then we have bigger issues than I first thought. I remember when we signed Warren Spink in the Arok era. We did that about five years too late. Ah, fuck. How depressing when I can’t write anything positive. I’m not going to bother trying to motivate a bunch of players who can’t take it.

As Paul said in his review of the Port Melbourne loss in the Statewide knockout cup, “We attend out of a sort of religious duty, a fealty to the club that should go beyond results. But everyone has their limits - just how much damage this does to the club's already ravaged supporter base is anyone's guess.”

Tipping with my head on this one. Bentleigh Greens 2 – South Melbourne 0.

Friday 8:30 PM Hume City (4th) vs Southern Stars (8th)
First ever Turkish derby in the VPL. Hume City 3 – Southern Stars 1.

Saturday 3:00 PM Dandenong Thunder (1st) vs Green Gully Cavaliers (6th)
Dandy thumped the chetniks out at Springvale White Eagles 10-1 last weekend. (LOL) Apparently, it coulda, shoulda, woulda been more. That result means pretty much fuck all anyway. They have a real team visiting them this weekend. Dandenong Thunder 2 – Green Gully 2.

Sunday 3:00 PM Northcote City (5th) vs Oakleigh Cannons (2nd)
Oakleigh lost to struggling state 1 outfit Altona Magic last weekend. Shock result I reckon. Altona Magic is on the up since Jonesy took over, but their squad consisted of players mainly under 21. They had 2 freekicks and scored 2 LOL. Me thinks Northcote will do the job on them this weekend. Northcote City 2 – Oakleigh Cannons 1.

Sunday 3:00 PM Melbourne Knights (10th) vs Richmond (9th)
Would love to be at this game, but unfortunately have other commitments. I reckon it will be a cracker, a real humdinger of a match. Melbourne Knights 4 – Richmond 3.

Sunday 3:00 PM Heidelberg United (11th) vs Moreland Zebras (12th)
Relegation derby. A game which will interest South fans the most. The lower down the table these 2 stay, the least chance of relegation for South. That’s why I’m tipping an exciting draw. Heidelberg United 3 – Moreland Zebras 3.

Some admin stuff
A request to the FFV media department. Since I seem to be doing more work than you promoting the VPL, I believe under the rules and regulations and FFV statutes, I am entitled to a media pass. Please be kind enough to forward this to Paul Mavroudis. If you require a name for the pass, then ‘John Doe’ will suffice. Paul Mavroudis will then be given detailed instructions to forward this pass onto me. Thanks in advance.

Steve from Broady
I don’t know who you are, how old you are, and what gender you hail from, or even if your name is Steve.

You obviously haven’t heard of using fullstops, question marks and/or commas. If you want to have a blog off with none other than the Kiss Of Death, then maybe Paul can arrange this. Your positive spin was pretty shit. What have bread rolls being eaten at pre-drinks got to do with team performance?

Euro 2012 Tipping
As you would all be aware, I have challenged Arthur Papas to a Euro 2012 tipping comp. As of Friday I have 6 points while Arthur has 7 points. Will start getting juicy as our tips start to differ from each others around about now.

Kiss of Death vs Arthur Papas, Euro 12 tipping showdown

The Kiss of Death (left) and Arthur Papas (right) prepare for their tipping duel

Me? I don't care about Euro 2012, except for this stupid bet that I have with the relentlessly (and stereotypically) optimistic Ingerlund fan, Steve from Broady, that England won't make the final. He was so confident that they would make it at least that far, he was willing to bet me a whole $5. Mind you, he also claimed that he would easily beat me in a 100 metre foot race, but then refused to put up or shut up, claiming he needed time to stretch, and that he also didn't have the right shoes. Even after I offered him a 20 metre headstart.

But anyway, enough about that. The Kiss of Death is not just interested in the tournament, but also willing to put its credibility on the line against Aussie coaching's next big thing Arthur Papas. Following his slaughter of Lucky Chrisomalidis in last year's wager, the Kiss of Death is willing to take it up a notch. Fairly simple rules I think should be applied. One point for a correct guess (win/loss/draw), and a bonus point for the correct score). Over to the Kiss of Death for its take.

Brains vs Brawns.
This month I will be going head to head with coach Arthur Papas in tipping the UEFA Euro 2012 tournament. Arthur contacted me through my email address kodvic@gmail.com and lo and behold, he is a huge fan of the KOD’s, and also a pretty good bloke. After a few emails back and forth to India, Arthur agreed to participate in a tipping competition against none other than myself. Wild Scenes!
This is how it will work. We will both be tipping the four stages of the tournament in advance as they approach, eg, we have already tipped all the group games. This will be an interesting hitout.

The combatants
Arthur Papas, age: 31

• Mens Football Scholarship with Jan Versleijen and Gary Van Egmond under the mentorship of FFA technical director Han Berger.
• Masters in Sports Coaching
• AFC A Licence
• Assistant Coach Altona Gate & Melbourne Knights
• Finals coach with Oakleigh Cannons
• India U23 (Current)
• Head Coach Pailan Arrows (Current)

KOD Age: mid 30s

• FFV Community Coach – Youth Licence
• Have won many tournaments in Football Manager (PC)
• Have promoted lower league teams higher up the tree, and won numerous FA Cups with minnows.
• Potentially the next best thing since sliced bread.

Group Stage Tips
Group A 9 June Poland vs Greece, KOD:1-2 AP: 0-1
Group A 9 June Russia vs Czech Republic, KOD: 2-2 AP: 1-1

Group B 10 June Netherlands vs Denmark, KOD:2-0 AP:3-0
Group B 10 June Germany vs Portugal, KOD: 2-1 AP: 1-1

Group C 11 June Spain vs Italy, KOD: 2-1 AP: 1-1
Group C 11 June Republic of Ireland vs Croatia, KOD: 0-2 AP: 0-0

Group D 12 June France vs England, KOD: 2-1 AP:1-1
Group D 12 June Ukraine vs Sweden, KOD: 2-0 AP: 1-0

Group A 13 June Greece vs Czech Republic, KOD: 1-1 AP: 0-0
Group A 13 June Poland vs Russia, KOD: 1-0 AP: 0-2

Group B 14 June Denmark vs Portugal, KOD: 2-2 AP: 1-2
Group B 14 June Netherlands vs Germany, KOD: 1-1 AP: 2-2

Group C 15 June Italy vs Croatia, KOD: 1-1 AP: 2-1
Group C 15 June Spain vs Republic of Ireland, KOD: 3-0 AP: 2-0

Group D 16 June Ukraine vs France, KOD: 2-2 AP: 0-2
Group D 16 June Sweden vs England, KOD: 1-2 AP: 1-2

Group A 17 June Greece vs Russia, KOD: 1-0 AP: 1-1
Group A 17 June Czech vs Republic Poland, KOD: 1-2 AP: 1-1

Group B 18 June Portugal vs Netherlands, KOD: 1-2 AP: 2-3
Group B 18 June Denmark vs Germany, KOD: 0-2 AP: 0-2

Group C 19 June Croatia vs Spain, KOD: 3-2 AP: 1-3
Group C 19 June Italy vs Republic of Ireland, KOD: 3-0 AP: 0-1

Group D 20 June Sweden vs France, KOD: 0-1 AP: 0-1
Group D 20 June England vs Ukraine, KOD: 2-0 AP: 2-1

Feeling the Love - Kiss of Death, Round 9, season 2012

Friday 8:30 PM Oakleigh Cannons (2nd) vs Dandenong Thunder (1st)
Top of the table clash. Oakleigh is coming off a 1-2 away win at the Knights, while Dandy had their bubble somewhat burst with a 1-1 at home draw to South Melbourne. Should be an interesting encounter, with both teams playing not bad football. I haven’t seen any of them this season but I might make an appearance on Friday night to see what all the fuss is about. Oakleigh Cannons 2 – Dandenong Thunder 2.

Friday 8:30 PM Richmond (8th) vs Hume City (6th)
This is the game that I will most likely be at. Yes, I’m a glutton for punishment with the cold weather and boring brand of football these two teams play. However, the kitchen is what drags me to this ground on cold wintery nights. Their fireplace, ice cold tap beer, boiled kranskys and of course who could forget, the Bavarian cheesecake. Richmond 0 – Hume City 0.

Saturday 3:00 PM Green Gully Cavaliers (4th) vs Melbourne Knights (10th)
Gully had a shock result last week against Hume, and the Knights have appointed Andrew Marth as head coach. This decision is laughable. Hardy har har har. Green Gully 3 – Melbourne Knights 1. Welcome to the VPL Andrew. May your stay be short lived.

Saturday 7:00 PM Southern Stars (9th) vs Moreland Zebras (11th)
The survivors versus the relegation battlers. More problems down at the Zebras from what I hear. They will be lucky if they have a playable squad by the end of the season. Southern Stars 2 – Moreland Zebras 0.

Sunday 3:00 PM Heidelberg United(12th) vs Bentleigh Greens(3rd)
A match of no real importance for the Bergers. Just another one they have to compete in until the season finishes. They are going down like Coles supermarket prices. Bentleigh will beat them very convincingly in front of a 50 or so crowd of onlookers. Heidelberg United 1 – Bentleigh Greens 4.

Sunday 5:00 PM South Melbourne (7th) vs Northcote City (5th)
An intra-club match for Northcote. LOL. South surprised many last week with their gutsy 1-1 performance at Dandenong. Northcote had a text book result 2-0 against Heidelberg. South is coming off a test, yet Northcote off a “gimme” game. Does this mean anything? No. Absolute diddly squat. Good to see South can grind out results. Good to see, they maybe took my advice from last weeks blog entry. Either way, a win against Northcote would be the minimum Gus would be looking for. A draw is ok, but a loss will be unacceptable. I have no clue what the injury situation is like, or if Fernando will be back in time. So please stop ringing me! South Melbourne 3 – Northcote City 0.

Send Us Your Feedback
I received some emails and feedback from Paul Mavroudis last week. The email I received was very interesting, thanks for that “R**” (you know who you are).

The feedback I received was from one of my fans, namely ex-Oakleigh gaffer Arthur Pappas. I always look out for feedback from people in charge of teams. This is what my column is all about. I want coaches and players to appreciate that the VPL is followed by people who are passionate, and have firm beliefs about how it should be run, played and coached. Arthur, I hope you enjoyed my column as much as I enjoyed writing it. I take my hat off to you for a well coached season, receiving the Coach of the Year award, and for your appointment at the Indian Under 23 team. I’d like to maybe email you back and forth, to gain an insight as to how your mind works in regards to football. Please email me at kodvic@gmail.com.

That also goes out to any other fans who would like to send me gossip, rumours and heaven forbid anything truthful. I now have an email address that anyone can send me any of the above at. I will attempt to post it on this blog (subject to editorial limitations), or help spread the rumour for you. If it is something that you do not want published, then I shall keep it confidential. I will also accept general emails in regards to football, or to anyone lonely, bored at work, or anyone who just wants some general VPL chit chat. I can be emailed directly at kodvic@gmail.com.