October 2014 digest of everything (OK, some things)

This post is a bit of a grab all of a range of different concerns floating around, as well some news, in the middle of trying to avoid having a nervous breakdown, which is not an official term according to wikipedia. Also, don't listen to Bohren and Der Club of Gore if you're in that mood. Great record that one though.

Kids these days
With junior trials for next year now under way, just how many people are unhappy with the South junior system? Is it many or just a few? Are the things they're unhappy with South specific, NPL specific, or a combination of both? One thing is for certain, there are unhappy people out there - how the South board manage this issue will be interesting, especially after the failed Brazilian experiment of last year, and the fact that the junior system has, to this outsider at least, been the subject of continuous manipulation and upheaval. In addition to all that, the continuing failure to see any talent make its way through from the juniors to the seniors on a permanent basis - and not in a roundabout five years down the track kind of manner - would be a concern to everyone.

(woman or effeminate man or physical cripple or small child or palsied pensioner opens jar after the BIG MAN fails to open it, but he still tries to claim that he 'loosened it up') (or here comes the hero of the day and of course it's South Melbourne) (we're in the tent [is that a sex thing?] and so here comes South Melbourne in the A-League in 2017) 
What's our official position, if any, on FFA's National Club Identity Policy? Is it something that's even on our radar, or are we happy to just go with the flow? Flow it is then. Enough was said by both sides of the argument following a now infamous guest post, to not need to go over it again. I was speaking to a highly thought of Australian soccer writer, which narrows it down to about five people, four if you don't count me, and this person agreed with me that why don't South and Knights work together to achieve their goals? If Melbourne Knights want to the be the street fighting with western suburbs street cred coming out of their ears Problem Child, the loose cannon of the Ethnic Soccer Club Party of Australia if you will; and if South want to be the wheelers and dealers in the suits, the Albert Park Accountants and Masters of Realpolitik, with The Prince in one hand (a prince must want to have a reputation for compassion rather than for cruelty) and the Art of War in the other (On intractable terrain, Do not encamp: On crossroad terrain, join forces with allies: On Dire terrain, do not linger: On enclosed terrain, make strategic plans: On death terrain, do battle), who clean up the mess by looking down right reasonable by comparison, why can't they work together? 'All friendship is desirable in itself, though it starts from the need of help' said Epicurus, but then I would cite him, wouldn't I?

Speaking of which - Victory and Heart in the NPL in 2015?
So, Heart and Victory have enlisted the help of big brother FFA, effectively sending an ultimatum to FFV and the NPL clubs, let our youth teams in or else your FFA Cup spots could be under threat. I'm sure South Melbourne will come to the rescue, right after Melbourne Knights soften it up for everyone. It's called teamwork.

As important as whether Heart and Victory make it into the NPL or not, something will eventually have to give in terms of the massive number of teams now in the two Victorian NPL divisions. While the largeness of the league is in part a consequence of the compromise solution worked out between the dissenting clubs, FFV and FFA during the NPL establishment crisis, we already have the situation of 14 teams in each league, plus newcomers Nunawading, Murray United, and possibly Eastern Lions from. One news report suggests that Bendigo are re-considering their participation next year, and I've also heard talk that Murray United may also struggle to make it to the starting line - though their recent hiring of staff seems to suggest that their participation next year is more likely then not at this stage. But what happens at the end of the three year licence period? Will everyone be allowed to stay? And if not, can you imagine the furore from those that miss out?

There are two things a viking never does...
That  Phil Moss, eh? Puts out a stupid line, and then apologises. Not for what was said - that Sydney Olympic didn't sign him back in the NSL days because he wasn't born in Greece - only for the offence it caused. Sydney Olympic huffed and puffed a little bit, but in the end had to sit there and take Moss' apology like the little bitches that they are - and if that sounds like meanness for cruelty's sake, it's because I know that we'd almost certainly do the same. As for the two things a viking never does? It's a Hagar the Horrible joke.

Making a house a home.
Are our lights up to scratch? Some people keep talking about hosting an FFA Cup match as being of more importance than actually winning the state title, but could we even host a match under lights and on TV? There's been talk every now and again during our new Lakeside era that the lights aren't up to FoxSports broadcast standards. Sure there's plenty of room on the light towers to install more lights, and they may only need one more row each to get there, but are there any plans on actually making this happen? It'd be fairly embarrassing to win hosting rights for an FFA Cup match, and then not be able to host it at Lakeside. For that matter, what's the latest with the social club? Has construction started yet? Will we ever get signage on the ground to let people know we're there? Will I ever get rid of this albatross of a counter? And when's the AGM?

Women
Are we any closer to to reconciling - if that's even the right word - with the women's team? While female players don't make up half the numbers of the male participant rate in the sport, it's still a massive blackspot in our attempt to be the broadbased and compelling club we love to portray ourselves as being, let alone one that could be considered as progressive. Still, this was interesting.

Another trophy, this time our women's team SMWFC, win the Grand Final in the Victoria Women's Premier League. Congratulations great year.
— Leo Athanasakis (@LAthanasakis) October 12, 2014

'Our' women? When did that happen? Interestingly, after Alan Davidson resigned or got the sack of the eve of the finals, his ultimately successful replacement was one Matthew Maslak, who had been sacked as coach of under 20s earlier this year.

Law and Order SVU episode blurb that could cover 90% of its episodes
The detectives investigate a series of sexual assaults, but come to realise that the prime suspect may not be the person they originally thought was responsible.

Comings and goings
Meanwhile on the South playing front, defender Shaun Kelly - who was also our leading scorer in 2012 - has parted ways with the club. Kelly, who missed the whole of the 2014 season with a lisfranc injury, has signed with Port Melbourne. At least he seems to have left on good terms, which is nice to know, as he always seemed to handle himself professionally, and it must have been difficult for him to sit out the entire championship season after hanging about during some very tumultuous times. Fellow Englishman Jamie Reed left this slightly cryptic message on Twitter

Last night in Australia!! Met so many good people and made friends for life! Thanks for an amazing 7 months! Hopefully see you all soon.❤️
— Jamie reed (@jamie7reed) October 6, 2014

So is he coming back? I don't know. Tyson Holmes has left to go to Bentleigh Greens, apparently for a better chance of more game time, while Shaun Timmins has gone to Hume and Dimi Tsiaras has retired.

Staying put are Milos Lujic, Iqi Jawadi, Michael Eagar, James Musa, Brad Norton, Tim Mala, Nick Epifano, Stephen Hatzikostas, Leigh Minopoulos and Andy Kecojevic.

But did they actually get the terminology right? Aka, a souvlaki is not the same as a gyro, but OK we get what you're trying to say while being a patronising cunt
Some of those who watched the FFA Cup quarter final between Bentleigh and Γιουβέντους Αδελαΐδας - though not me, since I've been boycotting the tournament for various obscure and probably not very defensible reasons, but who are you to question my motives? Have I ever questioned yours? - noticed that the commentary kept hammering the souvlaki angle. Dedicated readers will however remember that Michael Lynch and I covered this earlier and better.

Frank Lowy mentioned that promotion and relegation in and to and from the A-League is imminent and everyone wet their pants or hunkered down in their bomb shelter
Me, I threw a tryhard nonconformist bomb of my own, but I mostly only got a few retweets.

I don't care what rest of world does, what AFC says, what fellow bitters think, promotion/relegation from Australian top-flight is stupid.
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) October 29, 2014

Life after South Melbourne, if there is a such a thing; I still have my doubts
Congratulations to former South defender Jake Vandermey, who took out Hobart Olympia's best and fairest award. Vandermey also finished third in the state wide best and fairest count, behind South Hobart's Brayden Mann and Andy Brennan.

I'm playing all this week, tell all your friends
Now this I was not expecting.

Football Today, some sort of accumulating internet news service for Australian soccer - I'm sure there's a more appropriately tech-savvy phrase for it, but that's the one I'm going with - recently made South of the Border its featured blog.

Our featured blog is South of the Border - an @smfc blog that "veers between cautious pessimism & abject despair". http://t.co/5PwzCx42Ol
— Football Today (@myfootballtoday) October 27, 2014

I'm pretty chuffed with that, for reasons which I can't necessarily figure out. I mean, how did it even happen? I know how my blog got on the 'best blogs' list in the first place: I sent FootballToday an email asking them to put it on their registry, and they did it (I think it may have even been Bonita Mersiades who was responsible, so there's me momentarily running internet shoulders with an Australian soccer heavy hitter).

I don't subscribe to their Twitter feed, nor do I visit their site, because I'm not interested in the vast quantity of the articles that come through their feed. Sure it's not playing the game of internet 'I'll scratch your back and you'll scratch mine' that's a feature of the blogopshere and Twitterspheres, but I don't have a problem with that, my preference being for this blog to meander through time and space as it pleases, and not to the whims of aggregators. Nevertheless, I'm happy to have been noticed.

Maybe everything will change by tonight...
... and then this post will look stupid. 

Notes from the weekend of February 22nd-23rd

On Saturday I made my way out to the newly refurbished Broadmeadows Valley Park, in order to watch us have our first match (correction - 2nd NPL friendly, we have already had a 0-0 result against Thunder, as noted by one of our readers) against NPL opposition during this pre-season. The match finished 1-1, with Lujic I believe scoring from a goalmouth scramble in the first half, while Hume equalised in the second half from one of those mishit crosses that ends up going in at the back post. Both sides had some OK chances. I felt we we were the better team in the first half, while the game was more even in the second, as both teams shuffled around their lineups.

During the second half, Lujic had a penalty saved, the second time this pre-season he has failed to score from the penalty spot. After the farce that was last year's penalty taking situation against Gully, where no one wanted to take the penalty against in the finals, it might be nice to sort out once and for all who's the designated penalty taker. Also, at some point have to figure out who's taking our free kicks, since it looks like Nicky Soolsma ain't coming back.

The new facility at Broadmeadows Valley Park is quite nice, with a few caveats. The grandstand, while a nice addition, has very limited seating, which wouldn't ordinarily be a problem with Hume's crowds except for the fact that sight-lines from most other parts of the ground are very poor. Still, a small grandstand is better than no grandstand.

The field, too, looks in good condition, and after chatting with one of the locals it appears as if there are plans to put some new lights in at the main ground as well, with the possibility that they may consider playing night matches.

Buggered if I can remember where I stole this team sheet from.

Shepparton Shenanigans
So, Shepparton South had a big day planned for this event. How did it all turn out? Well, to cut to the chase, we lost 4-3. I'm really regretting not having made the trip out there now, even with the appalling public transport situation; nor for having done my due diligence on this, by reading this article from back in very early January. Check out the name of that trophy for starters..

Shaun Kelly out for 2-3 months
It looks like central defender Shaun Kelly will be missing a good chunk of the 2014 season, if not all of it, after having surgery on a foot ligament injury last week. So combined with Bryan Bran leaving for the Netherlands, and the uncertainty of the left back position, it appears as if only Tim Mala at right back will be a certainty of last year's back four to be playing in his position. Nominally at least, Dimi Tsiaras can play in a defensive role, and Brad Norton might get to hold on to the left back position he held for most of last season, but there may be a surprise or two as we near the start of the season.

And in other news
You may recall that George Malamas joined the board at the most recent AGM. He has since left the board. His departure appears to have been acrimonious, at least from his part.

Sometimes, words fail me
Joffa Corfe, of Collingwood cheersquad fame, is apparently now on the Heidelberg bandwagon, as host of their TV show. Nothing I can say will make that sound any more absurd than it already is.

Lastly
Fixtures come out on Wednesday. Expect two or three away games to start the season courtesy of the grand prix.

Jekyll and Hyde - Northcote City 3 South Melbourne 0

There's no way of sugarcoating a performance like that. When we got beaten 5-0 at this venue by this opponent a couple of years ago, it was with a half strength lineup, plagued by internal strife. Yesterday we had a strong team that was clinically torn apart by an opponent that we had beaten only a couple of weeks ago, making us believe - or me at any rate - that we were a side that weren't too far off the mark as far as season 2013 was concerned.

Initially, things looked promising. In the first five minutes, we looked good. We had the ball, we had a cross go across the face of goal and just out of reach. But for the next 55 minutes - and I say 55, because Northcote put the cue in the rack for the last half hour - we were barely in this match. And, if it wasn't completely obvious, a large part of that has to go down to Northcote, the best team in this league so far in 2013, even if some of our fans still don't rate them as a side.

We were out-hustled and out-muscled. When it counted, Northcote were at almost every loose ball before we were. For a side that has put its stock on a high pressing line, our forward pressure was poor. Several times Northcote were able to escape from the back and move the ball up to the other end of the field with just two or three passes, after we had looked hopelessly for space that apparently didn't exist.

We were beaten tactically. In comparison to Northcote's quick ball movement, we were often stagnant. The overlapping runs of Brad Norton and Tom Matthews, so vital to our success this season, were nowhere to be seen. At times we even struggled to get over the halfway line, and when we did, we were often squeezed up against the touchline. When we tried to play through the middle, we often came up against a solid blue wall.

Structurally we were a mess, and we did nothing to change that during the course of the match. Defensively, we looked to be confused. We backed off opponents, and the communication between keeper and defender was off. Peter Gavalas had a good game, making several saves which prevented the score getting completely blown out, but otherwise we looked reluctant to pressure the Northcote attack.

An anxious moment for Chris Theodoridis-Petropoulos as South Melbourne's
Shaun Kelly tries an overhead kick. Photo: John Punshon/Goal Weekly.

Some fans were calling for Fernando to come on, and he did during the last 20 minutes. While he did a couple of nice things, he didn't also alter the game in any meaningful way. Let there be no mistake - that period of the game was merely an exercise in killing time. Nando's passing and dribbling was often no better than what had come before his arrival. And if Steve from Broady's stats are to be believed, at 71 turnovers, we were getting awfully close to turning the ball over once every minute.

Not only did we lose this match, but it also took a toll in terms of injuries and yellow cards. Rhys Meredith got a corky, while more seriously, Joe Keenan seemed to injure his hamstring. Trent Rixon missed this game, and who knows how long he'll be out for, nor when or if Renco Van Eeken will be back. I believe Shaun Kelly will also miss this week's match against Port after picking up a fifth yellow card.

We have a tough run of games coming up, but also a lot of home matches. Port, Gully, Bentleigh, Thunder, Preston in the cup, and Stars before we have to head out to Richmond. And I must admit, even I found myself cringing at how after what I think has been a half decent start to the season, that one really bad loss has everyone calling for heads to roll. It's like the good results we've had have been entirely forgotten. Or maybe they can see something on the horizon that I can't. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, and that we don't fall into the trap of our annual mid-season slump.

Steve From Broady's under 21s report
South Melbourne's under 21s took on top of the table Northcote City yesterday at John Cain Memorial Park. South, coming off a good win from last week, were trying to get some momentum going as we near the halfway point of the season.

The match kicked off late for reasons unknown. The first 20 minutes of the game was very tight, a shot off target here, a ball into the mixer there. There weren't any good chances for either team to score and at halftime the lads went into the sheds locked at 0-0.

The first 15 minutes of the second half were the same as the first half, tight with neither team managing to find an edge. In the 63rd minute the South gaffer decided to make some changes bringing on Sebit Muon and it didn't take him long to make an impression, when Anthony Giannopoulos played a cutting ball through the Northcote defence. Sebit had the best chance of the game to fire home but the City defender managed to block the shot.

In the last 10 minutes South had plenty of shots at goal but could not make any count. As the clock wound down South had one last push forward, when Sebit found himself in some room and fired a shot from outside the area, only for it to go wide. That ended a frustrating game for South, who probably should have won.

The game finished 0-0 and now we need to look to next week vs Port Melbourne and the five home games in a row what we are about to play - all must win games if South want to fight for the title at seasons end.

Steve from Broady's Canteen Report

Northcote's canteen was in the spotlight yesterday, and they failed miserably. The souv was a shocker, with fuck all lamb, a shit roll that was harder than my cricket bat and no garlic sauce, it was the biggest disgrace since sliced bread. I give this disgrace of a canteen a 3.5, disappointing.

1. Pascoe Vale 10/10
2. Hume City 8/10
3. Bentleigh Greens 7/10
4. Northcote City 3.5/10
5. Southern Stars 2/10
6. Green Gully 1/10
7. Dandenong DQ 

South food truck

• Week 1, 4.5/10
• Week 2, 7/10
• Week 3, 8.5/10

Around the Grounds
Took a trip out to Port Melbourne to watch the Sharks take on Dandenong Thunder, the first time I'd seen either of these sides play this season. The first 20 minutes was pretty ordinary, but after that Dandy took control of the game, and they probably should have lead at half time. A slightly dubious freekick early in the second half helped them get that lead. After that I was expecting Port to fight back a bit, but nothing really happened. Thunder's second goal came in injury time, sealing the deal. Thunder aren't the force they were last season, but you'd hate to come up against them in the finals.

Jesus of Port Melbourne was angry for some reason, even before the Port substitutes, who were warming up during halftime, asked him to fetch the balls they'd kicked over the fence. Not sure what the deal is with the far side of the ground being blocked off to spectators either, which is my preferred spot to watch games from at that ground.

Friends In High Places
Which current South Melbourne player, who happened to be wearing shorts on that freezing Friday night, bought Steve from Broady a beer? Ah, I remember the days when I was the one being bombarded with questions about what was going on behind the scenes. The student has surpassed the master in that regard - not that I was ever told things that they didn't want to get out anyway, lol.

Next Week
Port Melbourne at home to complete the first half of the home and away season. Trust them to fire up for this one. If I'm even later than usual in supplying the entry on next week's match, it will be because I will be driving up to Canberra early next week to conduct some research and to attend a conference. I trust that you will be as patient as you usually are.

Final thought
I have heard unofficially that the Kiss of Death is ready to put out a pretty awol kind of piece this week. My response to that is, we'll see about that, as the Kiss of Death has been pretty scratchy in terms of supplying any material of late.

Heroes and Villains - South Melbourne 3 Northcote City 2 (after extra time)

This was a game that had nearly everything. It was characterised by open, attacking football from both sides. There were red cards, there was blood, and there were heroes and villains in abundance. And there was even mass confusion on more than one occasion.

There was tension on and off the field, both during and after the game. If you weren't there, or if you left early for whatever strange reason, then you missed one of the more entertaining games you're likely to see this season. The good thing is, I suppose, that you can catch up on at least some of the goodness on SMFC TV.

The other good thing is that we won.

Call of the year so far
Directed towards the Northcote goalkeeper, who was wearing a fluoro green jersey and shorts, with black socks: 'You look like a highlighter!'

A false start of sorts
Northcote launched a free kick into the box, and saw it headed home, for what looked like on first impression a legitimate goal. But the linesman on the far side had raised his flag straight away, and the effort was disallowed. To be honest, I can't really say for sure either way - my hunch however is that it was a goal. I'm not sure the video will be conclusive, but we'll see.


Taken from Shauen Kelly's Twitter feed.


There will be blood
While the officiating was often pedantic, some of the players didn't do themselves any favours. Shaun Kelly's head was busted open halfway through the first half, and blood poured forth from the wound. He soldiered on, with the kind of bandaging that every well proper central defender wears with pride. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to continue, and was soon replaced by Matko Budimir.

That wasn't the end of the carnage though. About 30 minutes in, Alan Kearney, having his first start after several weeks off with injury - although he did come off the bench last week - was sent off for an off the ball incident with a Northcote player, who was also sent off.

Northcote were the better side in the opening half, and seemed to adjust to the more open spaces better than South, often finding wide men in space. This was especially so on our left hand side. Any hope of surviving until halftime at 0-0 and then re-organising went out the window when Northcote justly opened the scoring, with Milos Lujic tucking away the mess of South's attempt to clear their lines.

The second half
It's fair to say that we were the better team for the majority of the match from this point onward. This is not to discredit Northcote, who still kept looking for their second goal, but the stats in this case are perhaps a little misleading. While we didn't get that many shots on goal, the fact is that we should have. Our counter attacks in particular went unrewarded so often that it was maddening. Our refusal to shoot was only part of the problem - the major issue was not even being able to hit a proper cross where a striker could run on to it. The balls into the box would elude literally everyone, like, literally. 

At last though, Rhys Meredith cut in and curled his shot around the keeper from the right, and it was 1-1, and the game's momentum was clearly with us. We kept peppering away, and subs were even made before the 85th minute -Trent Rixon off and Andy Vlahos on turned out to be a pretty important decision. Fernando De Moraes also got onto the field, to a massive cheer from the faithful, though I'm not sure if he or the coaching staff were expecting him to end up playing 50 minutes rather than a pinch hit 20 at the end.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times
I reckon Peter Gavalas has had a very good season. So much so, it's like having an entirely new recruit. And in this game, he actually played well, coming off his line and making some fancy diving saves, until late on during regular time when he tried being way too fancy at exactly the wrong place and time. His attempt to play around James Kalafatidis failed dismally, and gifted Northcote the easiest of finishes for 2-1.

At that point we were all having horrible flashbacks to 2012. Thankfully, for everyone's sake, Andy Vlahos, probably the shortest player on the field, somehow got onto the end of a free kick launched into the box and headed it home. And believe it or not, that's when this game started getting really interesting.

And it finishes 2-2, we'll see you again next week...
A lot of people at the game didn't seem to realise that this was a cup match, and that as a cup match in the modern era, we were not going to have an infinite amount of replays until we had a winner. Maybe some people were walking out to have a cigarette, or put some extra coins into the parking meter, but somehow I very much doubt it.

Fence runs ain't what they used to be. Photo: Gains.

Great, who's he going to cross it to...
... because to me it seemed like there was no one in the area waiting for the pass. And then Brad Norton, perhaps my favourite much maligned South player of recent times, appears to me as if he's come out of nowhere to put it away and give us the lead for the first time in this match. Cue a fence run of all things, with people running out of the grandstand to revive this once great tradition.
And then the scoreboard shenanigans started. Among the many mistakes - which included an out of synch match clock and listing all the South scorers as 'Goal' - was having Northcote leading 3-2. It did confuse one of the South fans near us who had gone out for a smoke.

There were five in the bed, and the little one said...
This cup tournament allows you to make up to to five substitutions, which is a bizarre sort of situation. It did lead however to Anthony Giannopoulos finally making his senior debut. Long time readers of this blog will recall us banging on about giving this kid a go to the point where people got absolutely fed up, and then we stopped doing it for the good of everyone. 

Fix the scoreboard! Photo: Gains.

 Now I admit that I do know the lad, although I only see him on match days, when he greets me with a 'hey, Juniper', which then leads into a Hattrick discussion. While we've never believed he's been the best thing since sliced bread, all of us of a certain ilk at South Melbourne who have watched him for years, both in underage competitions and at Clarendon Corner social football, are stoked that he's finally reached this milestone, playing for the club he loves.

We're just as glad that he didn't get sent off - though it was nervous times when he while standing over a fallen opponent and giving him the death stare!

Post match follies
Did Peter Gavalas flip the bird at the supporters, or was he putting his hand up in acknowledgement of his blunder? Who do we play next, is it Preston? Don't know for the former. Yes to the latter. Waiting for all conmspiracy theorists to appear in 3... 2... 1...

New segment!
One of our readers, identifying themselves only as 'Manny', has sent us this comic as a first offering. Now he's not promising that it will be a regular feature, but I'm glad that someone with the even merest hint of an artistic bent has offered us their services. That brings the current number of regular contributors on this blog up to four, which is kinda insane when you think about it. Any good suggestions about what to call this series are also welcome. It was sent to us last week, so if it feels a little out of date, that's completely our fault.

Around the grounds
I was at the Clifton Park synthetic pitch on Saturday afternoon. Somehow the Moreland City - Clifton Hill match was only the second best cup classic I got to see this week. Footage by Football Chaos. By the way, while I've not seen much of Clifton Hill's goalkeeper Mason Interlandi, what I have seen of him suggest to me that he won't be a state league 2 keeper for too much longer.



Tonight
The Socceroos play Jordan at Docklands. Myself and Gains will be at the opposite end of the stadium to the newly formed and FFA approved Australian home end group 'Terra Australis', but if you do somehow see us in the crowd, do come and say hello.

Next week
Melbourne Knights at home. There's talk that some chap named Ljubo might be starting for them.

Final thought

Congrats to @smfc today, a great game. Well done to our boys, ready to get back on track in the #VPL this weekend! #Northcote
— Northcote City FC (@NorthcoteCity) June 10, 2013

Digging a hole to 1974, and proud of it

Two Englishmen and a chain smoking, hard gambling senior citizen with manboobs walked into a bar... sounds like a decent set up for a joke, except the punchline is that the bar is South Melbourne Hellas, and the three blokes are our new signings. Good grief.

Stick a 'Soccer Action' masthead onto the article, maybe a Laurie Schwab or Fred Villiers byline onto it, and it would probably pass as a legitimate 1970s or 80s article.

So, Steve Burton (not the Green Gully one, but some schmo from England via Perth), Shaun Kelly (England via Shepparton) and Andy Vlahos (deep breath, ex-Heidelberg United, Collingwood Warriors, Carlton, Panathinaikos,  AO Agios Nikolaos, South Melbourne [who?], Football Kingz, Cercle Brugge, Melbourne Victory [apparently they don't exist according to our official site, which is an incredible, if slightly mystifying relief], Heidelberg United, Hume City, Heidelberg United) are our mid-season signings.

Also, out the door are Gianni De Nittis (again, maybe to Port), and Kyle Joryeff (unlucky, allegedly to Knights, but now probably Richmond). And what of Rhodri Payne? Who knows.

The only thing I can say, being one of those critics who has never kicked a ball and can't even lift a leg (then again, I heard the latter criticism made last night at the Port vs Gully cup match of Vlahos from a 1970s Polonia player), well, everything else has failed since 2006, so why not? This will be a second half of the season to remember.

And seriously, do click on the link above, and check out the attached videos - especially Kelly's, where he looks like a slide tackling machine even above and beyond Ramazan Tavsancioglu's efforts of the days of yore.