Kiss of Death, Round 8, 2014

Oakleigh Cannons FC vs Melbourne Knights FC - Friday @ 08:30PM @ Jack Edwards Reserve
Oakleigh had an out of the ordinary 6-0 win at home against Dandenong Thunder last week. It was 3-0 with 10 minutes to play and Oakleigh decided to give a 10 man Dandenong three more. The Knights are finished. They are done for the season. Either Marth will be sacked, or they will keep him on stupidly and start rebuilding for next season. Only one point separates a very injury depleted Knights from relegation. I’ve heard that Covarrubias is also gone for the season. Tough times ahead. It’s gonna be a long, long, long season for the Knights. Oakleigh 4 – Melbourne Knights 1. #MarthOut

Northcote City FC vs Dandenong Thunder SC - Saturday @ 03:00PM @ John Cain Memorial
Northcote had a loss at home to the Port Melbourne Sharts 2-3, while Dandenong got thumped 6-0 by Oakleigh. Northcote continues their hot and cold start to the season, while Dandy will still be licking its wounds from last week. Northcote will be too good for a poor Dandenong. Northcote City 2 – Dandenong Thunder 1. #NorthcoteObsession

Ballarat Red Devils SC vs Port Melbourne Sharks SC - Saturday @ 07:45PM @ Moreshead Park
Ballarat had a 1-2 loss at home to South, while the Sharts had a come from behind 2-3 win at Northcote. Ballarat. Please do not call your facility a ‘stadium’. It comes nowhere near a stadium as known to the Western World. It’s a fucken building site. I’m surprised each fan wasn’t inducted and given a union ticket to enter the site. An unfinished venue is NOT the place for an NPL match. FFV pull your fingers out and implement your stadium guidelines competition wide. Please, for the love of God! To the Sharts fans travelling, take an umbrella, a storm proof jacket and gumboots. Not that any of you will travel. Ballarat Red Devils 2 – Port Melbourne Sharts 0. #BRDShitGround

Hume City FC vs Goulburn Valley Suns FC – Sunday @ 03:00PM @ Broadmeadows Valley
Hume had an easy 2-0 win at home to the Knights, while the newly coached GV Suns had their first win down at Galvin Park vs Werribee 1-2. Hume should on paper have three points in the bag against the Suns, but you never know. Nah, actually I do know. Hume City 3 – Goulburn Valley Suns 0. #HumeAreBetterThanTheGVSuns

Werribee City FC vs Pascoe Vale SC – Sunday @ 03:00PM @ Galvin Park
Werribee was disappointing in their 1-2 loss to GV Suns, while Pascoe Vale had a 3-2 loss at the Bergers. I dunno what's happening down at Werribee. Pascoe Vale should bounce back. Werribee City 1 – Pascoe Vale 3. #NoLeighMinoNoWerribee

South Melbourne FC vs Bentleigh Greens SC - Sunday @ 05:00PM @ Lakeside Stadium
The pick of the round. First vs third, South's latest test. Look, I'm not impressed with Bentleigh, have never been. I just don’t think they’re the real deal. South had a 1-2 win down at a shitty weathered Ballarat while Bentleigh had a surprising 3-2 loss at Gully. That’s the reason they don’t impress me. South on the other hand impresses everyone. Unbeaten in the league and cup, firing on all cylinders, all round team effort. We are the team to beat, and Bentleigh will attempt the impossible. They may as well not rock up. We are the Oceania Team of the Century and we do not lose to suburban clubs from Moorabbin. South Melbourne 3 – Bentleigh Greens 0. #SouthTooGood

Heidelberg United SC vs Green Gully SC - Sunday @ 06:00PM @ Olympic Village
Heidelberg beat Pascoe Vale 3-2, while Gully beat Bentleigh 3-2. Both teams won 3-2! Bergers are doing not bad by their standards, somewhat steadying the ship, Gully is hit and miss. Will be plenty of goals at this one, but Gully will be too good. Heidelberg United 3 – Green Gully 4. #ShitClubsNoCrowd

Questions and Answers
During the week I received an email from a a student of Caulfield Grammar whom I shall call ‘Carlos’. The email contained a number of questions which Carlos required answers to in order to complete a project on ‘old Australian Soccer’. I am more than happy to oblige and I hope you enjoy the answers Carlos.

Are there any particular differences between the NSL and the A-League that's stick out to you?
A very interesting question and I shall give you a very interesting answer. The particular differences between the NSL and A-League that stick out to me are the following:

• Admission Fee. For starters the NSL had a flat fee admission for adults, pensioners and children over 14 at every venue Australia wide. The fee wasn’t based on where you sat, or which stadium you visited, unlike the A-League.
• Family Friendly. The NSL was very family friendly and from the tender age of six, I attended matches with my father, uncles and cousins. Others were there with their grandparents, mothers, aunties etc, etc, you get the gist of where I’m at. The A-League I find more corporate friendly than family friendly. It's not for families.
• Car Park. The NSL carparks were free, except for the finals matches at Olympic Park. Try finding a free carpark at an A-League match.

Are you happy with the modern day all sweater stadiums? Or would you rather the typical local ground, (green hill behind the goals, a old grandstand ect ect....)

Carlos, I am a footballing purist and prefer traditional non-seated terraces. It is actually bad luck for me to be seated while my team is playing. Trust me, I’ve tried it, not for me and we lost.

How did you feel when the NSL went defunct ?

Something for you to google. I and many other NSL fans suffered (and some of continue to) the five stages of grief as described in the Kübler-Ross model.

• Denial – I was in denial for about one year.
• Anger – I was angry for about four years.
• Bargaining – I was bargaining in my head for about six months.
• Depression – I was depressed for about two years.
• Acceptance – I am yet to hit that stage.

What is your fondest memory of the NSL?

The 1991 NSL Grand Final between South Melbourne Hellas and Melbourne Croatia. That memory will live on with me forever. Just thinking of it gives me goosebumps.

How did you feel about the ethnic tension and sometimes ethnic violence between clubs at games ?

There wa no ethnic tension or ethnic violence at games. Do not believe what the FFA propaganda machine is feeding you. If there ever was any alleged violence, it was not due to ethnicity. I can prove this quite easily and I hope you include it in your project. They say there was ethnic tension in the old NSL. All I ever saw was banter between sets of opposing fans. Nothing to do with ethnicity, but more to do with club loyalty. An example being the current situation with the ‘ultras’ mentality that’s slowly creeping into the A-League. They’re all ‘Australians’, yet they fight with each other. One could turn around and say, ‘ahh Australian is an ethnicity, therefore it’s ethnic tension’. Fans all over the world ‘have fights’, but they’re all the same nationality. The only thing that separates them is club loyalty. The same occurred in the NSL.

How do you feel about the FFA today ?

The FFA have destroyed the lifeblood of the sport and have turned a blind eye of the 100+ year history of the sport in this country. I have no respect for the FFA. As far as I'm concerned, they can go forth and multiply.

Do you think the FFA are ignoring old soccer and trying to erase it from history?

Yes. Definitely yes. They have no respect for the people of the past who lost their homes, marriages, and lives, building this sport from the ground up purely for the love of it and not for financial benefit. The FFA does not like this mentality as there’s no money to be made from it, hence the corporate feel of the A-League. They’re all suits and ties these days, no room for the hardworking blue collar worker.

What was your favourite NSL ground?

Middle Park by a country mile. Sometimes I drive down there, sit on the grass and reminisce. I can still hear the crowd chanting, still smell the souvlaki cooking, and still see the goals which I witnessed over the years.

How do you feel about the A-League ?

Yeah off the field it’s great. Huge stadiums, all seated crap, great promotion machine. It’s a league of very poor standard on the field. Teams of the NSL would have a field day against the current A-league teams. They’re laughable. I sometimes watch it online for a laugh, and I can’t watch more than 10 minutes of it without shaking my head. It really is a ridiculous standard.

I hope you find the answers to your questions suitable for your project. I wouldn’t mind having a look at the final product once complete.

Regards from the sunny BVI

Kiss of Death

South progress to sixth round of Dockerty Cup - Berwick City 1 South Melbourne 4

Like most NPL sides, we had been drawn against a lower division side for round 5, in our case Berwick City from State League 2 South/East (which is equivalent I suppose to last year's State League 3). What to expect from the home side? They'd hit a little bit of form over the last couple of weeks, but I'd only seen them on video losing heavily to local rivals Doveton in the opening round, who in turn got smashed by Frankston Pines last week.

It was a two hour trip out from the west via public transport, including a twisting bus ride through unfamiliar suburbs. Free entry was a nice gesture, and the lamb and the chicken on the spit was both good value ($7) and actually very good. It was my first time out at Jack Thomas Reserve, and it's a nice set up they have there - several grounds out the front of the complex, and a very wide main ground, though the light poles inside the perimeter fencing were an unusual feature. I also happened to notice the following:

Out at Berwick vs @smfc, with a candidate for one of the biggest technical areas I've ever seen. #dockertycup pic.twitter.com/ifElvWSVLd
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 7, 2014

Though I neglected to mention the halfway line poles, which I hadn't seen since our trip to the AIS game in Canberra. The field was also in very good condition, which was good to see after the recent heavy rains probably made a mess of a few grounds around town.

The opening goal was incredibly anti-climactic. Instead of scoring on our opening possession straight from the kick off, we scored from our second possession, with Milos Lujic tapping home after Berwick City's keeper - apparently their reserve keeper, who started the game for some reason ahead of their usual number one - spilled a shot we thought he had clutched.

Goals to Leigh Minopoulos and Slaven Vranesevic made it 3-0, and we then hit cruise control. Berwick pulled one back just before halftime with a tidy header which seemed to require some adjudication from the linesman as to whether it had crossed the line - well, that's what I'm guessing the conversation was about, because I don't think it was the right time or place to discuss stock options. Much of the rest of the first half in the outer was spent discussing magic, including James Randi's appearance on a Barbara Walters show back in the day, to debunk Uri Geller.

Kobbie Boaheme added the only goal of the second half to make it 4-1, which is probably a fair score. South did the job early and then clearly played within themselves. Berwick tried hard, but eventually also seemed to put the cue in the rack somewhat, with the game gone and league action to look forward to on the weekend. We, too, while starting a lot of the fringe players suggested in the post leading up to this game, also gave a go to several senior players as the game wore on, including Jamie Reed.

We're now two wins away from the semi-finals, and qualification for the FFA Cup. No idea just yet as to who we'll meet in the next round, but all the NPL teams who played overnight made it to the next round, including Werribee City, Bentleigh Greens and Northcote, the last of which went through on a forfeit.

Lastly, thanks to Bill who gave me and Gains a lift back to Dandenong Station.

Did I mention the rain enough times? Ballarat Red Devils 1 South Melbourne 2

The temporary stand felt temporary, the grass on the field was in magnificent condition, and our under 20s had lost the curtain raiser 3-1 without managing to score a goal of their own making. So everything necessary was in place for Ballarat's first home game of the season and the first official fixture at their new Morshead Park venue.

Good luck trying to get a coherent match report out of me this week. I ended up behind the goals in both halves, so that meant our view for most of the game wasn't crash hot. And then it rained, and there were umbrellas, and I had lent my umbrella to some other South bloke because he didn't have squat and I was then forced to hide under Gains' golf umbrella, and forget it. All you need to know was that it got very, very wet, very, very quickly, and pretty much didn't stop for the rest of the afternoon.

Michael Eagar controls the ball, before putting it back into
the six yard box... Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

While it wasn't raining during the opening 20-odd minutes, we managed to score twice, putting in much the same sort of style of play that we did the last time we played these guys. Milos Lujic managed to score an easy one after good play to release him into space; and Jamie Reed scrambled the ball over the line, after Michael Eagar controlled the ball at the back post from a corner and put the ball back into the six yard box.

...where Jamie Reed waits to pounce on the scraps, making
the score 2-0 to South. Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

Reed also hit the crossbar with a dipping shot - they were using the Brazuca balls that will be used for the World Cup this year, which swerved a lot despite the slippery conditions - and Lujic had an empty net chance ruled out for offside, which I have no idea whether it was or not, but no one seemed too flustered by the decision. There was a very good diving save from Ballarat keeper Aaron Romein to deny an effort that was heading into the bottom corner.

Things turned towards the end of the first half when we coughed up a free kick on the edge of the area - it didn't seem like a free kick to many of us at the time - and Dane Milovanovic hit a great shot into the opposite top corner. I reckon Jason Saldaris got a hand on to it, but regardless there was little he could do to keep it out. To be fair, we had taken our foot off the throat by that point anyway, which was disappointing because it's happened so many times this season in the middle of matches.

The start of the second half saw us reclaim the ascendancy, though without the clear cut chances that we had created in the first half. Ballarat then took over, without creating pretty much any clear cut chances that I can recall, aside from some crosses that went flashing across goal. Of more concern was the way we were - or rather weren't - adjusting to the conditions. Instead of trying to play simply, we tried to play a fancy short pass gimmick sort of game, which didn't help our cause most of the time. Reed and Tyson Holmes both picked up injuries, which will start to test our depth if serious.

Even when the sun came out, it just kept on raining.
Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

We managed to hold on though, having played 30 odd minutes of very good football, and 60 odd minutes of less than stellar stuff. So, seven from seven and four points clear of second placed Oakleigh, who are firing on all cylinders at the moment. While we may have broken our 1960 record for best start to a season, we can't rest on our laurels even for a second, because the chasing pack is not far away - though Bentleigh's loss at Green Gully was a welcome event.

The spirit of Ballarat is the spirit of Australia
Gimme shelter
We're not quite one to talk, what with us still not having a social club, but what kind of official opening has the ground half-finished? The outer hills were roped off, possibly because they recently had new grass seedlings sown into them. The temporary stand, while adequate in terms of seating function, offered absolutely no protection from the rain, and especially for the film and stat contingent of our media team.

Limited shelter at Morshead Park, so the @smfc stats man has to improvise. #NPLVIC pic.twitter.com/y4rTkXKHNy
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) May 3, 2014

The FFV seemed to have set up a marquee of some sort, which I suppose people could have gatecrashed but at the cost of the view, and the main pavilion wasn't complete, so no one could use that either. I'm sure once it's actually finished it'll be a good facility (though I'm not sure how the shelter situation will be sorted), but it was disappointing that it wasn't finished.

Local tastes
Having heard rumours that Ballarat once provided, but had then stopped offering chips and gravy as part of their canteen offerings, my expectations were low. And so it came to pass, as the menu was indeed quite limited and pedestrian: pies, chips, hot dogs, dim sims etc. Not a souvlaki or a cevapi roll in sight. I went for the hot dog, which didn't kill me - take note Green Gully. The pre-match musical offering was also a little different - rather than our awful house music selections, they went more for the old school bogan theme - Guns 'n' Roses, AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd etc.

Indigenous literature of Ballarat
They had a match programme ($3) which was quite acceptable, especially with their statistical offerings, including crowds. According to said match programme, on their away trips the biggest crowd Ballarat faced - aside from our 1300 odd - was at Green Gully, with about 470 people. Green Gully may have no fans, but on this measure they seem to have had more of them than Northcote, Heidelberg, Pascoe Vale and Goulburn Valley. The match programme also had a major typo in the coach's and president's messages, with 'Morshead' becoming 'Morehead' - which is incredibly juvenile for anyone to point out, but also an insult to our veterans.

Won't someone please think of the children?
The poor Ballarat ball kids. I'm not against their presence out there, but at least give them some sort of wet weather gear to protect them from the elements.

Rules change in the Reaches
Seeing as the VPL was such a Melbourne competition, the adjustment to the NPL has brought with it one unpleasant development - home town refereeing. Maybe this is, as in the words of the Ballarat faithful, a lot of sooking, but it appears as if the handball rule hasn't made it out there just yet. Or maybe they were actually refs from Melbourne and didn't think the rules were breached on those occasions, under the particular circumstances that refs will tell you handball has to occur for it to be called as such. Apparently cradling the ball in both hands in the penalty box doesn't count.

Add to this Aaron Romein getting away with hitting 9/10 of his goalkicks while the ball was still moving. I think he got called out for it by the ref once. After another dreadful call with the requisite whinging by South fans, one of the Ballarat smartalecs yelled out 'stop your sooking', to which one of our own wits replied, 'well at least we get to home to Melbourne after this', which was perhaps a little harsh but seemed a fitting response at the time.

And then there's this, which doesn't fit into anything in particular
This was tweeted by FFV correspondent (and reader of the blog) Steven Chang

First place we come across in Ballarat: this Maoist cafe. #NPLVIC #BRDvSM pic.twitter.com/TrNx278dIp
— Steven Chang (@Gixibyte) May 3, 2014

Next week
First up we're away Berwick City in the Dockerty Cup on Wednesday, then back home for our biggest test of the season thus far against Bentleigh Greens. While we should not take Berwick lightly, it will be a chance for some of the players currently on the outer - Tsiaras, Mullett, Minopoulos, Maynard, Boaheme etc - to get a bit of a run. The second match should be our toughest test to date. Bentleigh are coming off their first loss of the season, and will be looking to make up the gap between themselves and ourselves as quickly as possible.

Public transport thoughts
Let's get the hate mail out of the way early on.

@PaulMavroudis Just fucken drive, you're too keen on Public Transport ffs
— Pave Jusup (@PaveJusup) May 3, 2014

Anyway, VLine is great. Comfy seats, properly heated trains, numerous sheep sightings, and a severe lack of metropolitan rail network type arseclowns. A solid 90 minute trip from Spencer Street, where I got to meet some bloke (a former train conductor apparently) who told me he had a book collection in the realms of 60,000 items, as well as having once associated with the persons in Frank Hardy's circle. Also, we agreed that the VFL was complicit in destroying the VFA.

Getting to the ground from Ballarat Station was a different matter. Forgoing the cab option - even though it was like, right there outside the station - we decided to walk around looking for the number 13 bus. Well, eventually we found it, but we had missed it. Instead, we took up the offer of the bloke driving the number 14 bus to drop us off near Morshead Park, even though there wasn't an actual legitimate bus stop there. That's old fashioned country hospitality right there.

From there, it was a relatively short walk  around the greyhound track to the ground. I can't say much for the trip back into the Ballarat city centre - huge thanks to Con, who gave us a lift back - but I can't imagine it would have been that much more to find a bus ot get us back, although the rain would have things less pleasant.

From the station we headed out to Sturt Street for a feed, stopping at the quite good in terms of food and value for money Aroma of India restaurant, and when we got back to the station, the severely delayed train arrived a few minutes after we got there, which was rather convenient.

So all in all my thoughts are that if you want to take public transport out there for a game:

• allow extra time than you would then if you were driving, which is the same as with most public transport really.
• plan ahead - make sure you know how the hell you're going to get to and from the ground once you get to Ballarat.
• add an incentive like staying back a bit longer for some dinner, or get there earlier for lunch, because frankly the Ballarat canteen's offerings are pretty average.

The train trip home at night through the countryside is more akin to hurtling through the infinite void - perhaps as close to being on the Federation Starship Enterprise as I'm likely to get - with only the occasional signal light to break up the darkness until you get closer to Melbourne.

Lastly, Ballarat Station's vending machines are fantastic, and I'm kinda regretting not splurging a little. Chocolate prices from about 10 years ago, and chicken Twisties alongside the usual cheese flavoured ones. Now that's something you don't see every day.

More letters, more often
Remember the letter writing campaign with regards to the lease and social club issue I tried to get kickstarted a little while back? Well, as many of you will recall, I did get a response to that letter from the Minister for Sport and Recreation, Hugh Delahunty, and as it turns out, so did some other people, who apparently received near identical responses.

And while that was encouraging from the point of view of other South fans doing their bit, that encouragement was tempered by the lack of a response to the letter I sent to the shadow minister John Eren. So partly because Martin Foley, the member for Albert Park, seemed well intentioned but otherwise uninformed about the situation, and partly because the promised update from the club has yet to materialise (maybe nothing new to report? A worry in itself), I'm trying again. This time I've included a copy of the Delahunty letter, and asked Eren what his party's position is on the matter. Hopefully this time I get a response, and if I do, I will be putting it up here as per Delahunty's response.

All of this was prior to the breakout of a 'debate' on smfcboard about what we should do, which although it elicited some good points on both sides of the matter, also degenerated into name calling and personal attacks. The middle road path seemed to be the one most supported, in that in general few were seeking the violent overthrow of a nightmarish regime, but on the other hand they did want more information on what exactly was going on.

South of the Border Media Watch
ABC News Breakfast's, FourFourTwo's, SBS's and FFA's crime against (NSL) humanity
While sitting on the couch last Tuesday morning around 7:25, I was watching ABC News Breakfast as is my habit. Fill-in sports presenter Sharelle McMahon read out the news that Thomas Broich had won the Johnny Warren Medal. My response to that was going to be a huge 'meh', until McMahon said that Broich was the first player to win two Johnny Warren Medals.

I thought that maybe I'd heard wrong, so I waited until the 7:50ish sports bulletin to see if she would repeat the mistake, but there was no sports bulletin. So I then waited for the 8:25 bulletin, and sure enough the mistake was made again. So I did what any anorak with a smartphone would do: I made a tweet on the matter.

.@ABCNews24 Broich not first player to win 2 Johnny Warren medals - Viduka, Trimboli and Chipperfield all won 2 in the NSL.
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 28, 2014

FourFourTwo Oz's effort wasn't much better.

And to demonstrate the pitfalls of being an internet smartalec, I left out Damian Mori, probably because of the intense partisan hatred I was suffering at the time - and besides, who the fuck is Damian Mori, apart from the all-time leading Socceroos goalscorer for many years and one of the greatest domestic Australian soccer players of all time. And who are those other bums anyway? A Wollongong bus driver, a guy who chose to be an accountant rather than try his luck overseas, and some half Cro, half Ukrainian bloke from Keilor.

SBS' World Game website sinks to new lows.

And then we played the waiting game. The 8:50 sports update arrived and 'first player to win two Johnny Warren medals' became 'only player to win two Johnny Warren Medals'. FourFourTwo was a little more cautious in its approach - it stated that Broich was the first A-League player to win the award twice - but further down in its article on all the award winners, it mentions only the A-League winners of the award.


Most disappointing was SBS' effort on their World Game site - I mean, if there was one media organisation that should know better, it should be SBS, but that's how low they've sunk these days. But then again, how much can one expect of the ABC's typically substandard soccer reporting, or the New Dawn leaning FourFourTwo, or even the 'what agenda should be push this week?' SBS when the governing body can't even get their details right. Pay attention to the sentence in bold underneath the photo of Broich.

The cynics might say that this is just another example of the whitewashing of  Australian soccer history, but since we're all friends again thanks to the FFA Cup, let's just put it down to someone - maybe the work experience kid, who wouldn't know what an NSL was even if it lit 25 flares and started a riot in their living room - who could do better next time.

So another lesson in futility, which did nonetheless allow me to take an accidental trip down memory lane, as I recalled that I created the original version of the Johnny Warren Medal page on Wikipedia back in October 2006. How good was it? It didn't even include references, just information that I took verbatim from OzFootball.

Special mention to the Herald Sun's David Davutovic, who broke the mould and went the opposite way, by listing all the NSL 'player of the year' winners back to 1977, even those who won the award before the Johnny Warren Medal officially came into existence.

On a more serious note
Still on the Johnny Warren Medal. If the late Johnny Warren has indeed been beatified by many involved with Australian soccer - and I think a strong argument could be made that this is exactly what has happened - then surely his position as patron saint of Australian soccer should belong to all Australian soccer fans, and not just those who happen to be in power or are enjoying some ascendancy at this moment.

And if that is the case, then the very least anyone could ask for as part of this beatification process is that the medal which bears Warren's name have its full history acknowledged, not to make me or other bitters happy, but because those players who won this award during the NSL era were as worthy of it as those who have followed them in the A-League era.

Final thought
Thanks to the players - I assume urged by captain by Michael Eagar - for coming over and thanking the traveling South fans behind the northern goal after the game. Unlike some others, I don't tend to demand such behaviour, and certainly not every week, but it was an appropriate impromptu moment, which made the day just that little bit more worthwhile.

Kiss of Death, Round 7, 2014, includes Brazil money rumour!

Oakleigh Cannons vs Dandenong Thunder – Friday @ Jack Edwards @ 8.30pm
Oakleigh had a 0-2 win at Hume last week, in what their coach Miron Bleiberg described as a ‘Chelsea' like performance. What, you mean you parked the bus? Dandenong on the other hand had a disappointing 3-1 loss away to Bentleigh. This match will be a dire affair. Boring as pretty much fuck. Oakleigh Cannons 1 – Dandenong Thunder 1.

Green Gully vs Bentleigh Greens – Saturday @ Green Gully Reserve @ 3pm
Gully had an unconvincing 2-1 win against Goulburn Valley Suns, while Bentleigh was convincing enough to beat Dandenong 3-1. Gully is in trouble. Have been in trouble since they were 0-4 down against South in the 30th minute about four weeks ago. Bentleigh has been  hot and cold as far as I'm concerned. Don’t let the ladder position fool you. Another boring match with both teams duds. Green Gully 2 – Bentleigh Greens 2.

Hume City vs Melbourne Knights – Sunday @ Broadmeadows Valley @ 3pm
Hume wasn’t good enough to overcome Oakleigh last week, while the Knights were good but not good enough losing to South 0-1. The Knights were impressive even with their absentees, but they lacked that killer punch at the end. Their tackles were nothing less than ridiculous, but dog tackles which many of us footballing purists appreciated. Hume will unfortunately beat them at their own game. Hume City 2 – Melbourne Knights 0.

Northcote City vs Port Melbourne Sharts – Sunday @ John Cain Memorial @ 3pm
Northcote as expected beat Werribee 4-1 and Port Melbourne lost as expected 0-4 at home to Heidelberg, fucken lol. Both teams aren’t rated by myself and many others. Will be an exciting game though. Northcote City 3 – Port Melbourne Sharts 2.

Werribee City vs Goulburn Valley Suns – Sunday @ Galvin Park @ 3pm
Dead Rubber. Werribee City 3 – GV Suns 0.

Heidelberg United vs Pascoe Vale – Sunday @ 6pm @ Olympic Village
Heidelberg had a 0-4 win at Port Melbourne while Pascoe Vale drew 2-2 with the Ballarat Red Devils. Heidelberg should win this one, but it will be a tough hit-out for both teams. Expect red cards to be handed out and a few yellows. Heidelberg United 2 – Pascoe Vale 1.

Ballarat Red Devils vs South Melbourne – Saturday @ 3pm @ Morshead Park
The match of the round by a literal country mile. Ballarat drew 2-2 at Pascoe Vale last week, while South had a convincing win over at the Knights 0-1. South is on fire (as expected). We are the team to beat. Ballarat will want to beat us, especially at their new half finished stadium. They will fail. Just like everyone else has in the last six weeks. We are the team of the century. We don’t lose to teams of Ballarat's ilk. Ballarat will be missing Liam Harding, and South will be full strength. Leigh Minopoulos is on fire. His run last week was magnificent. You just knew we were going to get that vital goal once he passed the two Knights players. Lujic’s finish was world class. We all thought it was out, until it hit the other side of the net. I'm rambling. Ballarat Red Devils 0 – South Melbourne 3.

Brazil  Money Rumour
I got my hands on some gold worthy gossip last weekend in relation to the World Club Championship Brazil money. Here is the email:

The club invested and built 20 apartments in Port Melbourne that it still owns and collects rent on to finance the team year in year out. Also the guy who told me this rumour was so convinced that even when I pointed out the obvious that when South went into administration wouldn't they have been forced to sell it? He's like, nah, it's under a different name.

What a load of shit if I've ever smelt it. It is gold however. How do people come up with this stuff? Seriously, we all know what happened to the World Club Championship money. The members voted (stupidly) to invest all the funds into going professional and re-qualifying for the next World Club Championship. End of rumour.

Lakeside Stadium Artefact Wednesday - Catacombs

Deep beneath the South Melbourne Hellas grandstand at Lakeside Stadium, through a gap in the gear steward Frankie's room, there is a whole other world. A world of wires and steel, with a sign telling un-authorised people to go no further. There's also some graffiti there for some reason. The only clue to its provenance is that it would be a post-NSL artwork, seeing as it's 'SMFC' and not 'SMSC'. If it was 'SMH', good luck trying to narrow it down. (it was probably Frank himself).

Photo: Paul Mavroudis circa early 2014.

Last goal wins/Six in a row - Melbourne Knights 0 South Melbourne 1

Last time these two sides met, there was a sense of hype that hadn't been felt for a decade, and the game lived up to all those expectations - a good crowd, a lot on the line, plenty of action, and a South win. So what about this game? The crowd predictably didn't reach those heights, and was perhaps a little below par at 1500. Then again, that's not too far away from the norm anyway.

And where on that occasion Knights were only in semi-free fall - having lost their their previous two home games - and we were the scrappers coming into that game on the back of a late run to the finals, today was all about whether we could keep up our magnificent start to the season. We were the form team, Knights had lost three on the trot all at home, so there was no use us trying to claim the underdog status.

We were greeted by a perfect day, with that typical Somers Street sun that gets in your eyes if you're standing on Quarry Hill no matter how you try to avoid it, and as usual, the unknown. What kind of performance would we put in? Would Knights lift for the #melbderby? How come Knights can stuff six cevapi in a roll for $6, while other clubs can barely get to four on a good day and charge you a dollar more? And why was there a chicken running loose at the game (see below)?

One thing that was predictable was the refereeing which was below par. The surprising part was just how poor it was. Certainly the South fans were at first incensed and then in hysterics with the referee's decision making, even when we were getting free kicks. The Knights applied an overly physical approach to their tackling, and while punished with free kicks, it took until something like the ten minute mark of the second half for them to receive a yellow card. But all that could be bias, and in the end probably didn't effect the result.

The Knights' defence diffuses an early South chance.
Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

Of far more consequence was the poor finishing from both sides, give or take some good keeping from both goalkeepers, especially Knights' Chris May. For South, Lujic blew the best chance of the game just a few minutes in, when instead of shooting he decided to slide the ball across to Nick Epifano, with the Knights defence scrambling well enough to clear. The pick of the Knights' chances fell to Shayan Alinejad, who after finding himself unmarked at the back post during the second half for the millionth time, and with the score still at 0-0, completely missed the ball while waiting just a metre from the goal line.

Both sides also had goals disallowed for offside - Knights in the first half, South in the second. Since they were at the other end of the ground, there's no way I can say whether they were fair calls or not. Ours, coming after what could have been classed as a penalty to Reed (I think), perhaps stung a little more.

The soccer boring you? At Somers Street you can watch the
planes perform banking maneuvers. Photo: Cindy Nitsos 

The first half was a pretty even contest. I felt we started the better - see above - but our poor crossing from the Ballarat game followed us into this week. Clattering into our players aside, Knights took a little while to warm up, but eventually started to look threatening, requiring Saldaris to make a couple of good saves. Knights also hurried up Saldaris, whose wonky kicking is now becoming apparent to everyone. The rest of the half both teams mostly got stuck in the mire.

The second half was better from us, as we upped our effort levels - except for a bizarre ten minute or so period midway through the half where we retreated into our shells - as we tried all sorts of different ways of trying to win the midfield battle. There were long balls, dinky dribbling, good wing play and reckless backline passing. At least we're mixing it up, and getting further away from the idea that we are only capable of playing a Chris Taylor style long ball game.

Lujic's winner on about 85 minutes was reportedly a cracker, but for those South fans at the other end of the ground on Quarry Hill, it looked like to us as if it was another missed opportunity, as the ball hit the post and went across the face of goal - luckily having already crossed the line and hitting the inside of the net on the other side.

Credit must also go to substitute Leigh Minpooulos, who set up the goal with a fantastic run down the left wing from inside his own half. Minopoulos is proving himself quite the quandary - he's done quite well coming off the bench in several games, so the temptation must be there to start him - but at who's expense? And will he be as effective as a starting eleven player? It's a good problem to have.

James Musa had his best game in a South shirt so far.
Photo: Cindy Nitsos.

That moment may also overshadow the fine games played by both Michael Eagar and James Musa. Eagar has done well in most games since joining us, but Musa was a bit more an unknown quantity, but today put in his best game of his short South stint. Tyson Holmes, too, lifted in the second half, and put in a battling midfield performance, which forced the Knights to go wide, as well proving to be an asset going forward as well.

So, still with a perfect record, four points ahead of Oakleigh, and five ahead of Bentleigh who have their perpetual (until much later in the season) game in hand against Ballarat.


Elias Donoudis

I hear Σαουθ Μελμβουρν won the Derby, well done boys, I'll double my write up in this weeks Ενδιαφέρον to two paragraphs with oakleigh photo
— Elias Donoudis. (@carlsaganaki) April 27, 2014

The Chicken of Quarry Hill (RIP CroDuck, lest we forget)

Why is there a chicken running loose at Somers Street? #melbderby #nplvic pic.twitter.com/gwwoJ7DGKA
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 27, 2014

Next game - includes details of the club's bus offering to Ballarat
Ballarat Red Devils away. Wait, didn't we just play them a week or two back? Yes, we did. Don't ask me how the FFV went about about working it this way, because I once thought I had the answer, and then realised that I didn't. This event will mark the official opening of Ballarat's new Morshead Park venue.

Our club is offering a bus service to Ballarat and back, from Lakeside, travelling with either the senior team or the under 20s. The cost is $50, which includes entry to the game. See this for more details, but note that close of business on Tuesday is your deadline.

If $50 seems steep, here's the comparison with the public transport alternative. The cost of an off-peak adult daily ticket to Ballarat on the train will set you back about $25, (plus $6 if you don't have a myki card). Then there's the likely cab fare to the ground from the station, and then you have to buy your ticket into the ground. If you take the club bus, you may also be filmed as part of an SMFCTV feature, as well for a future advertisement.

While I may come across as being a hypocrite for asking for a club provided bus service and then rejecting it in favour of public transport,

• I prefer trains, even if the total cost of that option will be higher.
• I don't want to be on the TV.
• I'm planning on having dinner in Ballarat after the game and then catching a later train back.

But seeing as the costs are comparable - with the club option being cheaper - it's really up to you. The good thing is that the club has provided the option of a bus for those that want to take it. If you do choose to take the train, you will probably have to catch a cab to the game, unless you can figure out the Ballarat bus system.

The relevant trains leaving Southern Cross for Ballarat on Saturday are:

• 10:28AM, arriving at Ballarat at 11:55AM.
• 12:08PM, arriving at Ballarat at 1:34PM.
• 1:38PM. arriving at Ballarat at 2:50PM, which will be cutting it very fine.

My recommendation - catch the club bus. Or, if you're feeling game, join me and whoever happens to become attached to me for the 10:28 train.

Or you could just drive to the game. How lame.

Dockerty Cup news

You probably already know that our next opponent in the cup will be Berwick City. Well, now we have a time, date and location. Wednesday May 7th, 7:30PM, at Jack Thomas Reserve in Narre Warren North. Mark it down in your diaries.

Digging my own muddy trench
As a 'bloody university trendy', I have most of the necessary hangups of the self-hating Australian pseudo-intellectual, and when it comes to Anzac Day, well, who knows how far I could go on that matter if pushed. But you're not going to be very interested in that, and it's also not the point of the following (and 264th) attempt to land myself into the gulags of SMFC 'mover and shaker' opinion.

Am I so out of touch? No, it's the children who are wrong.

But it would be remiss of me not to make, at least in passing, some note on the South visit to the Shrine of Remembrance the other day. Now the combination of sport and politics makes me uncomfortable, even if there are times when the two combine in simply unavoidable fashion - anything from being discriminated against for being a wog club by a semi-clandestine movement of anti-pluralist faux-multicultural Anglo-Australians with a smattering (and then tidal wave) of self-hating sell-out wogs (was I one of them at the time? I change sides so frequently it's hard to keep track), to having to deal with a belligerent government in the way of trying to get a damn lease sorted.

And if that combination makes me uncomfortable, then the combination of sport and war makes me downright queasy. It may be a glib thing to say, but war isn't sport, and sport isn't war. Despite obviously going there with the best of intentions, I'm at a loss as to what South has to do with anything to do with Anzac Day, and the subsequent social media attached to the visit comes across as tacky, and not that far removed from the antics of groups like the Fanatics - and I'm not the only one who has interpreted it that way. At best, it lacked tact; at worst, it came across as opportunistic.

And if you think that's being insensitive and completely taking the visit in the wrong spirit, then take a look at this post I've selected absolutely randomly:

LOOKS LIKE #ETHNIC CLUBS #HONOUR & #RESPECT AUSTRALIAN HISTORY & IDENTITY AFTERALL!! pic.twitter.com/3iuhvRlTWC #aleague #foxfootball #NPLVIC
— Mike (@smfcmike) April 24, 2014

I don't think that's quite the reaction that the club was hoping would be attached to their visit. And if my source is correct, and our players were compelled by 'higher powers' to attend then that, too, surely defeats the purpose and spirit of the occasion. I guess I should be thankful that we're no longer part of the 'how great was Ataturk?' day from a few years back.

I WAS A BIG CHEESE, A HUGE CHEESE!
Every now and again on Twitter a little volcano erupts (just a little, tiny one), centred around former board member/general manager (1991-1999) Peter Filopoulos. On occasion Filopoulos likes to, via the medium of Twitter, and depending on your point of view:

1. Make genuine attempts at constructive criticism of the current South board.
2. Make remarks which are critical of the board without having anything constructive to say about anything.
3. Stir the pot for the sake of hilarity and chaos, or
4. All of the above.

Usually such antics end up revolving around Filopoulos and other run of the mill South fans, and I try to stay well clear of it. Indeed, being a relatively picky Twitter follower, I follow neither Filopoulos (@peterfilopoulos), nor the 'crash through anything and damn the consequences' SMFCMike (@smfcmike), or anyone likely to become involved in debates which can't be resolved even in multiple 140 character messages.

Still, when your name gets attached to the discussions - and honestly, sometimes I have no idea how it happens - you may as well end up having a look through the notifications page. So what kicked it off this time? Well, the website of the Puskas Suzuki Cup, some sort of youth tournament for clubs which Ferenc Puskas coached or played at, lists (at time of print) this unusual detail:

The family of Peter Filopoulos, director of one of the world's largest event venues, Melbourne's ETIHAD Stadium, were the owners of South Melbourne during Öcsi bácsi's coaching successes.

Which was brought to the attention of Filopoulos, who swore he had no idea how that had come to pass, which I have no reason to doubt. That seemed to kick off the discussion onto why aren't South ever invited to this tournament, and who's to blame - which is a perfectly legitimate question, albeit with answers that could possibly or rather probably launch a decent libel suit, so we won't go into them at this time.

Anyway, from that launching pad the discussion veered off into who was the more meritorious South fan - the bloke who was there a long time ago or the blokes that are there now - which dragged in current board members Tom Kalas (@tom_kalas) and Tony Margaritis (@sthmel), and even the Kiss of Death, ending up at the obvious debate highlight, which I am now providing the gist of rather than quoting:

'I don't remember seeing you at Save Our South', 

and

'Oh yeah? Well, I don't remember seeing YOU at Save Our South!',

which considering there were fuck all people there (and as stated in a recent blog article, I wasn't there, so don't count on me to sort out the roll call for that day) seemed to force the discussion towards the apex of a highly undignified cul- de-sac, before everyone backed out carefully and decided to sort it out like grown-ups - whatever the hell that means.

Apart from Jim Barres' valuable (if clichéd) comment that if they all worked together they would be unstoppable, the best post went to our old mate Pavlaki, who got to the guts of the matter:

@sthmel @smfcmike @peterfilopoulos @tom_kalas @PaulMavroudis I'm the biggest and best South fan in the History of South Melbourne Hellas.
— Paul Touliatos (@pavlaki1969) April 25, 2014

And in the end, aren't pointless dick measuring contests the most important thing about being a South fan?

John Verikakis and the mysterious Mike Verikakis
Our fellow blogger Mark Boric is doing some research trying to collect and verify as many results of the Victorian state team as possible, including lineups. As part of that project, he's trying to get information on the following match:

Sunday September 20, 1992, at Middle Park 

South Melbourne Hellas 1 (Verikakis 44') Victoria 1 (Patterson 69')

Curtain raiser to the VPL Grand Final later that afternoon. 

My interest in this - apart from it being a Hellas match - is that the name Verikakis seemed unfamiliar to me. A search through OzFootball creates some illumination, but also a problem. OzFootball has a 'Mike' Verikakis playing several NSL games for us from 1992-1993. These are the games I can find with 'Mike' Verikakis:

1992/93

• Round 4
• Round 8
• Round 18

1993/94 

• Round 5
• Round 11

Yet there is also a 'John' Verikakis listed as playing for South. OzFootball has John Verikakis playing two Dockerty Cup matches for us in 1993, including the final.

The confusion increases when you find that Ozfootball lists no other matches with 'Mike' Verikakis in any competition. By comparison, 'John' Verikakis' post-South existence is much better attested, being listed as playing for Port Melbourne, Clarinda (now Kingston City), Altona East and Brunswick City. My suspicion, complimented by recollections from other South fans on smfcboard, seems to suggest that there's an error in the OzFootball records, and that 'Mike' Verikakis is actually the same person as John Verikakis.

Any help in clarifying the situation, recollections of the game against the Victorian state team mentioned above, as well as recollections of the career of John Verikakis would be greatly appreciated.

Around the grounds
How can I be pleased, when I'm handed the keys, to a town they call Misery
Altona East lost 1-0 at home to Sunbury United. The home side had the better of the first half, but managed to get over the halfway line in any meaningful way just once in the second half, after they'd fallen behind to a late goal. And another thing - why do I feel cheated when I lose the raffle, and the winning ticket happens to be a different colour to the ones they were selling near me? Many recriminations were had a with a fellow traveller about this and many other issues. The conclusion reached was that if I was miserable now, imagine how much more miserable I'd be in 20 years. Which is a comforting thought in anyone's language.

Final thought

Not so the Australians, unamused, unimpressed,
they went over the top like men clocking on

John Forbes, 'Anzac Day'

Kiss of Death, Round 6, 2014

Bentleigh Greens SC vs Dandenong Thunder SC - Friday 25 April 14 @ 8:30PM
Bentleigh had a 3-1 win over Gully last week, while Dandenong drew 0-0. Not really much to talk about this one, 'cos I frankly don't give a shit about these two teams. However Dandenong will be too good for Bentleigh. Bentleigh Greens 1 - Dandenong Thunder 2.

Port Melbourne Sharks SC vs Heidelberg United SC - Friday 25 April 14 @ 8:30PM  
The somewhat 'Greek' derby. Port is on the ropes and so are the Bergers. Heidelberg had a convincing win against a two games in three days Ballarat which doesn't really say much and before that a 2-1 loss to ten man Pascoe Vale. Port on the other hand lost to a poor Northcote 1-0. If the Bergers are to have any chance in this league then they must win this one, and they will. Port Melbourne Sharks 0 - Heidelberg 2.

Green Gully SC vs Goulburn Valley Suns FC - Saturday 26 April 14 @ 3:00PM
Pretty much a dead rubber of a match. Gully to get the win easily and convincingly against the laughing stock of Victorian football. Green Gully 6 - GV Suns 0.

Northcote City FC vs Werribee City FC - Saturday 26 April 14 @ 3:00PM
Northcote City is poor, very poor. Loza is due to face the tribunal on Wednesday 30th and my info tells me he's in for a two game suspension from the sidelines and Northcote will face a hefty $5,000 fine for his actions. Werribee had a 3-4 win up at GV Suns, but that really doesn't tell anyone shit. Northcote will be too good for the Bees. Northcote City 3 - Werribee 1.

Pascoe Vale SC vs Ballarat Red Devils SC - Saturday 26 April 14 @ 6:00PM
Pascoe Vale will be too good for the Devils. Ballarat is woeful. Saw them against South and just wow. Couldn't string a ball together to save their lives. Absolutely shocking, and to think I have these muppets telling me they can play. Er, no, hell no! Pascoe Vale 2 - Ballarat Red Devils 1.

Hume City FC vs Oakleigh Cannons FC - Sunday 27 April 14 @ 3:00PM
Hume City is very hot and cold at the moment, but aren't too bad. Oakleigh is just Oakleigh. Bah. Hume will play well, and beat Oakleigh convincingly. Hume City 2 - Oakleigh Cannons 1.

Melbourne Knights FC vs South Melbourne FC - Sunday 27 April 14 @ 3:00PM
The one we've all been waiting for. The clash of the titans. The #melbderby. Twitter, ey? Loving it. The Knights are costing me money. Not fucking happy about that. Have been poor last few weeks. Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery at home. The dreaded penalty curse has hit Somers Street. Still, that's no excuse really. South on the other hand has been magnificent. Five wins from five starts. What else could you ask for in a league that's decided by first past the post? No finals, so if you aren't in the top fove by the half way mark, you might as well start planning for next season. This is my fear for the Knights. Would be a shame if they weren't pushing for top spot by then. Like I say, 'the fish rots from the head', so do something Mr. Jusup. You always harass me on Twitter, but never take my advice. Hellas will be too good. No injuries, no suspensions, getting the points, what else could you ask for leading up to the #melbderby? The three points will be ours and we will continue our unbeaten run to the championship. My only concern at South is Epifano. He can do wonders, yet at times, switches off. I'm sure CT has it under wraps and is working on it. End of the day, South will go to Somers Street, get the three points and move on. Melbourne Knights 1 - South Melbourne 4. No penalties this week, sorry.

Side Note
I have many followers on Twitter @KODfootball, including South president Leo Athanasakis. Some call him 'Leo the Liability', others the 'Baron of Brunswick'. To me, he's just 'Brother', and I refer to him as the 'Sir Les Patterson of South'. Spitting image of the bloke at the best of times. I enjoy it when people in power and clubs follow me. It just adds to my cult following.

Keep on trucking! artefact Wednesday - Global Gypsum

One of our readers, Arthur (a different one to the one you may be thinking of), sent us this photo that his brother took of a truck driving down Pascoe Vale Road in Broadmeadows the other week. Global Gypsum's CEO is one Andrew Mesourouni, who also happens to be a board member of our very own South Melbourne Hellas. Thanks to Arthur for sending us this very cool photo! (and his brother for taking it, of course)

Five league wins on the trot - South Melbourne 2 Ballarat Red Devils 0

Despite the shorter turnaround between games, and the rumour that Nick Epifano may have received a knock during training in the lead up, South's lineup was unchanged. For their part, Ballarat had had two of their league games postponed already, including their game against Heidelberg which had been scheduled for last Sunday, so they would have been fresher, if not as match hardened as South.

For whatever reason - either because of last week's lackluster first half, or anticipating that Ballarat would sit back for large periods of the game - it looked like we came out to kill this game off in the first 15 minutes. It reminded me a bit of the old Ange Postecoglou era, where knowing that many of the teams we played at Lakeside would sit back with numbers behind the ball and try to frustrate us, we would try and have the game played on our terms.

But where those sides would almost inevitably score an early goal or two, despite the bluster of the opening flurry on Thursday night we couldn't manage to get the breakthrough goal. Milos Lujic had the best chance, as he ran on clear through on goal, but he blasted his short range shot onto the crossbar. The big striker looked across to the linesman, pleading for the goal which he seemed to believe had crossed the line, but there was nothing doing.

The game then settled down, becoming a classic battle of possession vs counter attack. South tried to be patient with the ball, knocking it around until space was created - Matthew Theodore looked especially dangerous - but our crosses and finishing weren't up to standard. Meanwhile, the visitors were busy trying to bust open our offside trap, and they weren't too far away on a few occasions. Twice it seemed to me that they were denied a run through on goal by unjust offside calls.

Gradually Ballarat started coming out of their shell and moving up the field, as our desire to pass the ball around the back and to Jason Saldaris looked shaky and laden with risk. We also seemed to put the ball into possible turnover situations, combined with Saldaris' tendency to keep possession for too long instead of clearing the ball upfield creating unnecessary tension. Still, most of Ballarat's attacks were restricted to set pieces and shots from outside the box.

The under 20s lost 3-1 to Ballarat. I'm not sure what the
go is with the sign having the text split up in that way.
Photo: Gains.

The visitors were helped by some pedantic if mostly consistent refereeing, as the main official decided to punish what appeared to be otherwise fair physical challenges. Getting towards halftime, it appeared that 0-0 would be the score at the break, and the halftime talk planned around getting our formation back into shape. But then Jamie Reed opened the scoring, after finding himself with plenty of room to unleash a powerful shot across goal, which gave the Ballarat goalkeeper little chance.

The visitors were more attacking in the second half, but I think it's fair to say we still looked the more likely to score, despite periods of miscommunication especially on yhe left hand side. Lujic put the ball into the back of the net, but it was ruled out for an offside, fairly I thought. Eventually Reed made it two for the night, as he managed to somehow beat the offside trap and score a relatively easy goal. I felt that he was miles offside, and didn't even bother getting up in excitement when he found himself clear on goal, but the video will probably make me a look like a goose again.

At 2-0 up, the game wasn't quite dead, but it would require something special for the game to be a contest again. Ballarat substitute Dane Milovanovic almost made that happen, with a long range speculative shot that sailed over Saldaris and hit the bottom of the far post. But in the end, we got the win, kept another clean sheet, and dispatched the only other team apart from ourselves to have a perfect start to the season. All in all, a pretty good night, in front of a decent crowd considering the scheduling and opponent.

Chants
'Come on Hellas steal their fucking gold'

'KFC, KFC, KFC'

'Hungry Jack's, Hungry Jack's, Hungry Jack's'

Image courtesy of the Michael Eagar Fan Club. 

Here's something you don't see everyday
I can't remember which of our players was responsible for this bit of stupidity. During the second half Ballarat had been awarded a free kick near the sideline (or was it a throw in?), with the ball from that bit of action rolling away out of play. The South player let that ball go on its merry way without giving it back - fair enough - but then proceeded to kick one of the spare balls on the halfway line away from the Ballarat player who wanted to get it in order to quickly restart the game. Our man copped a yellow card for his trouble.

Next game
Melbourne Knights at Somers Street. Despite their calamitous finish to last season, big things were expected of the Knights in 2014, especially after they beat reigning champs Northcote in the opening round. But despite a flurry of home games to start the season, some dodgy refereeing and poor finishing have conspired to see them lose three home games on the trot. I'm sure they'll fire up for this game though, relishing the underdog tag which we couldn't possibly claim for ourselves seeing as we're five from five.

Membership goodies and merchandise
The scarf is stretchy, and a lighter shade of blue than we're accustomed to, but otherwise quite nice. The membership 'hard card' is actually flaccid, which seemed to annoy some people. You also get a hat (same as last year) and a sticker. As for merch, no beanies yet - they may get some later in the year - but really, I wouldn't need to buy another one if I didn't keep losing the ones I already have. All round, the membership is pretty good value, not least because all the money goes to the club. Shame the stress balls idea never got up.

If those are not good enough reasons to sign up, here's Jimmy Armstrong to tug at your South Melbourne Hellas heartstrings.



Around the grounds
No venturing out anywhere this week. Thought about Port vs Northcote, but I'd already done that once this season, in their earlier cup meeting. Anyway, the results fell our way a little bit this round, and we find ourselves four points clear at the top of the table - albeit Bentleigh have a game in hand against Ballarat, which won't be played for months yet.

An Easter message from Elias Donoudis

Χρόνια Πολλά to all my Greek Friends, I'll be doing the Επιτάφιο around Jack Edwards reserve tonight. Long Live Οκλι Καννονς.
— Elias Donoudis. (@carlsaganaki) April 18, 2014

Final thought
Aren't you glad we get to play these guys in the league again in two weeks? Brilliant scheduling that.

Derby Week! Kiss of Death, Round 5, 2014

Bentleigh Greens vs Green Gully – Wednesday 16th April @ 8.30pm @ Kingston Heath Soccer Complex
The Green Derby. Bentleigh had a good result down at Werribee on the weekend winning 0-1. Green Gully on the other hand had an absolute shocker going down 6-1 to Oakleigh. What is happening at Gully? Is the clique falling apart? Is Dobbo going to come back and rescue them? I can answer all three questions.

1. Their recruiting has been poor which is a shame, as Gully have one of the best youth setups in the country.
2. The clique IS falling apart.
3. Dobbo will not be coming back as there are no finals in the NPL and any hope of Gully winning the thing has faded away very quickly.

Will they be good enough to beat Bentleigh? I really doubt it. Gully is mentally fucked at the moment, and will take a while to recover. Bentleigh on the other hand have had a not too bad start to the season, but they’re a bit impotent in front of goal. However, their impotency will be enough to beat a shithouse gully.Bentleigh Greens 2 – Green Gully 0.

Melbourne Knights vs Hume City – Wednesday 16th April @ 8.30pm @ Knights Stadium

The quarry/deep hole derby. According to the owner of this blog, I have a love affair with the Knights and it’s costing me tips. Yeah, I kinda get a hardon for the Knights, however my tips are calculated and not just willy nilly. Complex mathematical algorithms are used to make you people money. The Knights were good but not good enough to beat Dandenong, losing 1-2. Hume had a very good first half against South Melbourne, but football is a game of 90 minutes, not just 45, and South proved this once again in Hume's 0-3 demolition. This will be an interesting contest, and I may just jet in for this game. The Knights will be too good for Hume, and will be the victors. They need this win, I need this win, we all need this win for the good of Victorian football. Melbourne Knights 3 – Hume City 1.

Port Melbourne Sharks vs Northcote City – Wednesday 16th April @ 8.30pm @ JL Murphy Reserve

The douchebag derby. I have no time for these two clubs. Port's facility is one of the shittest in the state, and Northcote has this obsession with South Melbourne that reeks of jealousy. This makes me angry. However, I’m here to comment on the game at hand. Port struggled at Goulburn Valley with a late winner, while Northcote had an OK match at Pascoe Vale winning 0-1. There have been rumours floating around that Eric Vassiliadis, coach of Port will be gone after this week's loss to Northcote. Port Melbourne 0 – Northcote City 3.

Dandenong Thunder vs Oakleigh Cannons – Thursday 17th April @ 8.30pm @ George Andrews Reserve

The South Eastern Derby. Dandenong shocked the footballing fraternity with their 1-2 win at Knights last week, while the Cannons took advantage of South's good work last week with a 6-1 win over Gully. Let’s not get carried away here. South was 2-4 up at Gully before they had the keeper sent off and a key defender. Oakleigh reaped the benefits by playing a keeperless Gully for 90 minutes. Wank wank. Dandy is starting to come good. Even though they have a new logo which was drawn by some five year old, the FFV pages still show the old one. Get your shit together FFV. Dandenong Thunder 3 – Oakleigh Cannons 0. Oakleigh to be finally shown up as to how shit they really are.

Pascoe Vale vs Heidelberg Utd – Thursday 17th April @ 8.30pm @ Hosken Reserve

The Northern Suburbs Derby. Pascoe Vale lost to Northcote last week, while the Bergers match against Ballarat was postponed due to the ground condition. Now, that game was scheduled for Sunday twilight. The match was postponed on Friday! How the fuck does that happen? Saturday and Sunday were pearler days and the ground would’ve been fine. Instead they cancel it 72 hours before kickoff. Fucken joke if you ask me. If the ground ain't up to a bit of rain, then why are they in the NPL? Pascoe Vale will struggle in a somewhat exciting encounter. Pascoe Vale 0 – Heidelberg 1.

South Melbourne FC vs Ballarat Red Devils – Thursday 17th April @ 8.30pm @ Lakeside Stadium

The City vs Country Derby. Contrary to public opinion, THIS will be South's toughest game of the season so far. South had an excellent win at Hume 0-3, while the Devils stayed at home and lumbered a few gum trees due to their game being postponed at Bergerville. South's first half at Hume was ordinary, and somewhat looked very much like pre-Taylorish football. We weren’t the best, but we weren’t bad either, just very, very flat. The second half was a completely different mindset. From the 45th to the 90th, we dominated and couldve have more than three if we were a bit more clinical. Reed's run down the pitch was very classy. Such a big lad running at full stride and finishing it off with a ball on a plate for South's second was fantastic. Taylor really has them going at the moment. Ballarat, well I’ve been keeping tabs on the Devils for over four years. They are not bad, but not that crash hot. However, this is the danger game for South. Complacency and we will be punished. They will attempt to park the bus and counter at any opportunity. But on saying that, we are South Melbourne playing our first home match at Lakeside, we are the team of the century and we don’t lose to a bunch of lumberjacks from the bush. South Melbourne 6 – Ballarat Red Devils 0.

Gouldburn Valley Suns FC vs Werribee City FC – Saturday 19th April @ 7.30pm @ McEwen Reserve

The who gives two shits derby. I really really hate doing reviews for a match of such poor calibre. No Leigh Minopoulos, no Werribee. Goulburn Valley Suns 2 – Werribee City 0.

Perfect start to 2014 maintained - Hume City 0 South Melbourne 3

Was there a player in the under 20s match who was wearing a headband? Iqi Jawadi, sitting behind me in the stand during that game, seemed to think so, and what's more he was jealous of that player being allowed to do it when he himself wasn't allowed for reasons unknown to me.

As for the seniors, that first half from us wasn't crash hot. Going forward we were disorganised and slightly careless, sending through balls forward that were almost always over hit. We also resorted to too many long balls, which were easily dealt with by the Hume defence for the most part. Even though I guess we were going to the end favoured by the breeze, it's not like it was last week's four goal wind. Besides, it was as much as a crosswind as anything. Jamie Reed got angry at Milos Lujic, Milos Lujic got angry at the linesman with the oil slick hairdo, and I was wondering how the hell we were going to score aside from the possibility of a Hume defensive clusterfuck, which almost happened anyway.

Defensively, things weren't looking much brighter. Hume hit the post with a well taken free kick which went out of Jason Saldaris' reach, and were particularly penetrating on our right hand side. It's a wonder we managed to limit them to probably just one real clear cut chance, which ended up being fluffed with a weak attempt on goal. So, 0-0 at halftime, and I was wondering what we were going to do to turn the game in our favour.

The second half was altogether a very different story. Ladies and gentlemen, we dominated. We controlled the midfield, played well out of the back, and were starting to get forward in a much more organised manner. Still, you gotta get the goal to make it all count, and my was it worth wait for when the deadlock was broken.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Either way, Referee Perry Mur
 doesn't seem to give a toss. Photo: Cindy Nitsos

A lovely bit of work from several players on the left saw centreback James Musa make a run forward, cutting the ball to the top of the 18 yard box from where Nick Epifano - who ran himself into the ground today - put the ball out of the reach of Chris Oldfield in the Hume goal for 1-0. It was the best bit of play we've put together all season. Hume finally managed to get it up to their end in a meaningful manner, but couldn't make their big opportunity of the second half count. Who knows what would have happened if the game had gone level?

Instead a few minutes later, Epifano was the beneficiary of more good work up the field, this time by Jamie Reed I think, making it 2-0. The most pleasing thing about these first two goals, is that they weren't dependent on opposition mistakes, the kinds of goals of we've had the fortune of scoring from a few times this season. Of course they all count the same, but it shows that it's not just our pressure and the frailties of the opposition that can get us goals - we can create them from scratch, too.

We got one of those fortuitous ones in the end, as Milos Lujic made the most of Hume's poor and confused attempt at clearing a cross. At 3-0, this game was done, and the important thing was to not get some yellow cards or injuries. Both seemed under threat when on the grandstand side, a tangle of players decided to try their at some wrestling maneuvers. I think we managed somehow to get away with both from that incident, though I'm not quite sure how. The second half was the best football we've played this season. It may not have been as exhilarating as some of the other games this season, but for effectiveness, it was very good.

Getting home was a bit of a slog, as it usually is from there if you're doing the public transport thing. Didn't hang around to clap the players off this time, instead trying to get out as quickly as possible to cross the no good option Barry Road. Then power walking (by my standard) up the hill, then down the road to the station, where at least this time the lift was working. Made it in time, but boy the legs were sore after it. Had some random on the Werribee train claim to remember me, even though I was in year 10 at the time and she was in year 7. 15 years on and she still remembers my face. I had no idea who she was though.

Anyway, four from four and top of the table. Things could be worse.

Can someone tell me where the line for too ethnic is exactly?
We've spoken about Hume's new grandstand and facilities before, and they were augmented today by a nice, sunny day, a surface in excellent condition, and a decent PA system, even though I'm not sure how they get away with their theme song with its prominent chorus of 'Anadolu'. I'm kinda disappointed that they use the slick version of the song, when they could be using this version instead.



Also, what's the deal with getting the red and white seats when you've changed the strip to a black and white deal?

Next game
The undefeated (only played two matches) Ballarat Red Devils at home on Thursday night. Why this got moved to Thursday from Wednesday, I'm not sure. I suppose it's a good thing that we're not a religious club, what with it being Μεγάλη Εβδομάδα and all that, when 98% of Melbourne's Greek community remembers that they're Orthodox.

Oh yeah, get there early to pick up and/or buy your memberships.

Jersey night rundown
Would the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands. And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry. - John Lennon
Some interesting things happened in between the times I was checking Twitter etc for footy and NPL scores. Interesting lay out for starters. This year both the 'indoor' and 'slightly less indoor' areas were used. The latter was used as a sort of poor person's purgatory, which doesn't bother anti-social me, but might have made it harder for people to socialise if that's what they wanted to do.

It actually reminded me a bit of the way the tutorial I was in for 'Freedom and Constraint' at Melbourne University was set up back in 2002 (taught by this bloke), with the good looking and popular students on the main table getting all the attention, with whoever was left over ending up on the other table in the back corner of some really poorly designed and selected room. Now I'm not putting all the blame in my failing that subject on that arrangement - after all, I did fail eight subjects during my year and a half stint there - but it didn't help.

Look, women! Here come some now!
As mentioned last week, South Melbourne Women's FC have a new president, albeit with much of the same people still on their committee. Last night some of these people were at the jersey night, and the implication seemed to be from the presentation that we were - at the very least - on the way to reconciling the two factions. Unfortunately, not very much detail was provided on that front, so it's hard to know exactly what's going on. Cause for optimism?

Tweets will set you free, check the tweets
While I hope my cynicism is misplaced, I'm less optimistic about the social club situation being resolved in our favour. Local member of parliament Martin Foley was there, and he gave a little bit of a speech after being made no. 1 ticket holder for 2014. As part of that speech he asked for the current state government to honour the deal made by the previous state government with South to give us our 40 years and let us complete the Lakeside facility.

A commendable sentiment, which was taken up quite quickly by a couple of serving committee members on Twitter. For example:

Martin Foley the Labor minister for Albert Park, pledges to honour the 40 year lease as per the MOU if they come into government.
— Tony Margaritis (@sthmel) April 11, 2014 

which is a little different from this one:

Martin Foley Labour Member for Albert Park has just said at Jersey Night, that the current government must honour the 40 yr deal.
— Tom (@tom_kalas) April 11, 2014

comments which were followed by a tweet from Foley himself:

At the @SMFC season launch and community wants to know why #Springst won't deliver overdue social rooms promised pic.twitter.com/XPIL0FIrpe
— Martin Foley (@MartinFoleyMP) April 11, 2014

Which seemed an unusual comment to make, since the current state government has actually come out with some detail about what the issue is, as they see it. The question I wanted to (and then did) ask Foley was:

So, @MartinFoleyMP, are you saying that if Labor wins 2014 election, that @smfc/Lakeside deal will be sorted out as matter of urgency?
— Paul Mavroudis (@PaulMavroudis) April 11, 2014

The answer to that is not yet known definitively. Short of hoping that Labor win the upcoming election - and as yet I've seen no ironclad guarantee yet that they will deviate from the Liberals' policy position - what is the plan for resolving the situation, either by taking the government on or acquiescing to their preferred 21 year model? Maybe time to crank out another letter to John Eren or something, and maybe this time I'll get a response.

Overall, it was an enjoyable evening. The food was a step up from the previous year's offerings at this venue. Soup as a starter(!) instead of the usual antipasto and dips, garlic bread, good mains, and dessert that wasn't fruit or a cheese platter. Stay tuned to SMFC TV and South Radio for related things that happened. How the hell did I live my life before Twitter and before having a phone that could easily and cheaply access Twitter? Sometimes it feels good to be part of the present instead of my usual existence in the past.

Around the grounds
Part 1 - Golden rays of sunshine light a Coburg afternoon
Moreland City were at home to Sydenham Park, on a field that was surprisingly not bogged down after recent rain, but rather had. After an even start, Sydenham took control of this match and eventually ran out deserved 3-0 winners. The first goal was quite nice, as it involved a nutmeg on the byline. Tommi 'Gomer Pyle' Tommich in the Sydenham goal had very little to do until the last 15 minutes, when the visitors went down to 10 men but were already 3-0 up. The inevitability of the result seemed to calm down the Sydenham coach, with his massive chin and fan-like yelling of instructions every two seconds.

The downside? There was no HP sauce this year. Even worse, I didn't win the raffle. Massive props though to the Sydenham player who copped a yellow card for letting loose at the ref with a 'пичка ти матер', after an admittedly pretty crappy no advantage call.

Part 2 - Ξεκάρφωτες μαλακίες 
For the first time in many years - probably since 2003 - the Paisley Park derby between Altona Magic and Altona East was on. The NPL shuffling of the decks  has seen the Magic demoted to East's division, and the home side marginally had the better of it in the first half, though East had the half's best opportunity - any shot on target would have done the trick, but it went over the bar instead. The second saw Magic step up their game and begin to take more control. They opened the scoring with some neat play around the box, a pass inside to an unmarked striker, who popped it into the back of the net while East were waiting for an offside to be called, which is pretty stupid, because it wasn't offside.

East were never out of the game though, and eventually snared a late equaliser from a goalmouth scramble, and were able to avoid defeat with the last play of the game, when some Magic player headed his effort from the six yard box wide when it seemed harder to miss than score. I think 1-1 was one of the two fair outcomes for this game. There was also a bit of ETHNIC VIOLENCE when one old man slapped another old man, after the latter dared him to do it during what initially appeared to be a half joking conversation.

Magic's raffle prices are a bit of joke by the way. $2 for one ticket? Moreland was selling them for $1 each or three for $2.

Frenemies department
Listening to 3XY Radio Hellas the other week, I was surprised to hear one George Triantos being interviewed on the phone about the South game against Gully. What happened to our being blacklisted? When did we drop the mutual animosity? Why didn't I get a memo about this? I'm feeling all disoriented.

Speaking of which, when I went to listen to the show today, all I got instead was the Oakleigh Cannons show, by which I mean some Orthodox Palm Sunday church service.

At least we still have Elias Donoudis to hate without fear or favour.

@smfc see how I look after you guys, and not one thank you. You're at home this week right ? pic.twitter.com/yt2S22DXjJ
— Elias Donoudis. (@carlsaganaki) April 10, 2014

Final thought
Victorian soccer hasn't been the same since the nut sellers stopped stocking παστέλια.